"You're not going to jump, are you?" Shirley said as she entered the balcony where Alan was standing at the railing, watching the sky.
"Hello Shirley", Alan replied, turning around to see her. "No, I don't. What makes you think so?"
"You've been preoccupied with something since the case about the girl who can't smile, you're not drinking scotch and Denny isn't around. What's going on?" Shirley answered, helping herself to a glass of scotch.
"You're a good observer. To what is the what's going on referring to?" Alan answered, pouring himself a scotch and trying to buy time. "Let's sit down, it seems like this is going to take some time and this is more comfortable. Unless you want to take the couch in which case I would.." he continued with a smirk.
"Don't be a smartass, Alan. You know what I mean" Shirley interrupted him.
"I think I do…To the easiest part of the question: Denny isn't here because I asked him to. After the case I needed some time for myself. Which is also the reason why I haven't had a drink yet; melancholy, solitude and alcohol don't align well in my opinion." Alan replied silently and without his usual levity.
"I agree with you on your reasoning about alcohol but what is it about this case that rattles you like this, Alan? Especially since you won, if I am not mistaken." Shirley inquired.
"It's how I won, Shirley. Marissa is an intelligent girl with a gift for drawing and yet she was initially refused because she simply cannot smile. I only "won" if you want to call it this way because I followed Denny's advice and invited the media. The school couldn't afford a scandal, so they accepted her, but she didn't get there on her own as she would have deserved. She got there because the board is afraid of a scandal. What world are we living in? This girl almost didn't get the chance to attend a prestigious school because she is not capable of smiling. Putting up a pretty face seems to be more important than personality and academic achievement. Marissa was admitted but if her fellow students are anything like the board or the faculty, I am afraid she will face hell" Alan answered with a sigh. "Denny knew this and gave his advice accordingly. I guess that's why I wanted some space from him" he added, looking at his glass.
Shirley's face had softened during his reply. "Alan, would you look at me please?" she asked him, as she covered his hands with her own hand, which surprised Alan. As he looked up at her, she felt a pang in her heart and she understood why he put up so much effort in building up walls of protection. Without his usual cynicism, quick with and (supposed) lightness, his good heart showed. Not for the first time she wondered why he had chosen a profession where lies, deception and putting up a show were part of everyday life.
"Alan, you are an excellent lawyer. But if you want to continue in this profession, you cannot take cases to heart. Life is not fair, and you cannot change the world, no matter how much you want to. You did what you could do for Marissa. Whatever happens from now on is not up to you. Inviting the media doesn't mean that you are as shallow brained as the board members. It's how the system works. Denny has been in this job longer than you and I and he knows this, hence his advice and you were smart to follow it." Shirley said, as she still held his hands.
Alan had listened silently. "So what you are saying is that I just do my job and shut myself away?" he inquired, gently caressing her hand; surprised yet happy that Shirley accepted it. "I've been told so before but it's not who I am, Shirley" he added.
"No, that is not what I am saying. That would turn you into another Denny and God knows the world can only take one Denny Crane" she replied, but a smile showed how fond she was of her friend despite everything. "What I am saying is that you shouldn't take your cases home. Or to the balcony, which I guess qualifies as home, too." she added and pulled away her hand to refill their glasses before she touched his face lightly. "You are one hell of a lawyer, Alan Shore. Don't let this job destroy you, we would miss you. I would miss you" she said quietly, gently touching his face. Alan was leaning his face into her hand and the two were enjoying the silence and each other's company when a loud "what the hell is going on here?" brought them back into the moment and Denny stormed onto the balcony.