Lisa Simpson: Animal Avenger

by Bloody Simpson Chibi

A lot can happen in eight years. People can die. Relationships can wither. What was cruel can become kind-hearted and what was innocent can become the very thing nightmares are made of. This is the story of a girl named Lisa Marie Simpson and her descent into darkness. Rated M. Takes place 8 years after the main timeline. AV by kittiesofcupcakes and used with permission

24. Dog Dayz Part 2

Chapter 24: Dog Dayz Part 2

(So...you remember in my last AN I said the rest of the arc was going to be confined to the next chapter?

Well, I was stupid.

After a little bit of thinking, I was able to come up with enough content to stretch out this arc into two chapters, this one included. This should be better than the last one since I at least know what I'm doing now.

To be perfectly honest, this whole season's off to a bad start. Constant stress has greatly limited my ability to think these things out and while I do have a lot figured out for this season, the trouble lies in the smaller things that are supposed to get us from Point A to Point B. Now don't worry, I have no intention of actually cancelling the story or anything like that but at some point, I may have to put the story on hiatus for a bit to figure shit out. I'll let you know and I can promise you that it won't happen for at least two chapters.

There isn't anything else to say really so here's hoping you enjoy the story.)

"J-Jessica?"

"Hey Bart. Funny seeing you here."

Bart rubbed his eyes and took a second look into the darkened interior of the treehouse. It had to be a dream or maybe even a guilt-induced hallucination. But as he once again bore witness to one Jessica Lovejoy standing inside his treehouse with a flashlight illuminating her giggling face, he knew deep down that this was reality.

And unlike most of the other times in his life when things turned out to be reality, he was actually relieved this was the case.

"Jessica?" Bart walked into the treehouse toward the girl. "It's really you...but how..."

"Well..." Jessica smacked her lips. "As it turned out, that Mr. Davy guy had a crisis of faith during our first week and closed down the camp. We were all paid $666 dollars to stay away from our homes for a while so our parents wouldn't ask for a refund."

"...Really?"

Jessica laughed. "Of course not, Bart! You really need to learn when someone is pulling your leg." Jessica finished her laughter with a sigh as she slowly retreated deeper into the treehouse. "No, what actually happened was I escaped."

"Escaped?" Bart asked.

"Escaped. Bolted. Made a clean get away. Did a vanishing act with myself."

"I know what escape means," Bart groaned. "I'm asking how did you do it."

"It was pretty easy, actually." Jessica looked over her nails. "Those poor fools still believe in the honor system, believe it or not."

"You're kidding!" Bart started to chuckle. "In this day and age?"

"Yep!" Jessica nodded.

"What a bunch of saps!" Both Bart and Jessica burst into laughter this time but this was short lived as the eldest child of the Simpson clan suddenly remembered how close they were to his kin. "J-Jessica! Shhh! My mom and sisters will hear us and all of them have a snoop-first-and-ask-questions-later attitude."

"What about your father?" Jessica asked. "With how he snores in church, I bet he could sleep through the Rapture."

Bart's head dropped, surprising Jessica. "Actually...Homer's not home anymore."

Jessica gasped quietly. "Oh God. Bart I'm so sorry! Did he finally have a heart attack or a stroke?"

"What?" Bart asked. "No! No! No! He didn't die! He and Mom just split up."

"Oh...why?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Bart droned.

"Hmm...I guess not. After all, my Mom kept a pretty close eye on all their public fighting. It's pretty much all her book club talks about now."

"Great," Bart shook his head. "Just what we need. Another book club dedicated to our family drama," He sighed. "So...now that you're back in Springfield...what's your plan?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Jessica admitted. "It took me about a week to get here by foot, especially thanks to those camp guys looking for me."

"Looking for you?" Bart asked.

Just then, the distant roar of an engine caught Jessica's attention and she looked outside the window. She grabbed Bart by the shoulders and pulled him in front of her, pointing her finger to a small forest-green jeep driving down the road before his house. He had just managed to spot it right before it vanished behind his house but he was able to recognize the logo on the door at once.

"They've been following me ever since I left," Jessica explained. "They may not look like much but they have tasers."

"Tasers?" Bart asked. "Geez, is this a summer camp or a damned cult?"

"That's not all," Jessica continued as she walked away from the window. "When we got to camp, they made it perfectly clear that should we escape, one of the first things they'd do is call our parents." She turned to Bart with a sad look in her eyes. "I can't go home until the search is called off."

"When will that be?" Bart asked.

"Until the Bible camp finishes its coarse so...pretty much until the end of summer."

"Aye Caramba!"

"I know," Jessica nodded. "I guess I didn't think things out too well," She walked up to Bart and grabbed him by the shirt. "But I had to get out of there, Bart! It was torture! Complete and utter torture!"

"Jessica, calm down." Bart grabbed her by the shoulders. "Remember, my family."

"Right, right...sorry." Jessica let go of Bart and rubbed her arm nervously. "I'm just...a little stressed out."

"You really don't have a plan?" Bart asked.

"Only to stay out of my parent's or those assholes' sight until the summer's over. I can take it from there."

"And you're going to spend the rest of summer sleeping in other people's treehouses?"

"Of course not!" Jessica replied. "I'm not even planning to spend the night in this one! I just wanted a hiding place away from those jerkoffs."

"Then what will you do?"

"Duh! A hotel!" Jessica bent down and pulled out a worn-out backpack which bore Mr. Davy's symbol as well. She zipped it open and pulled out her purse. "I'll just spend the night at the Sleep-Eazy and..." She opened it up only for a single moth to fly out. After a few seconds of trying to escape into the night, the moth fell to the floor dead. Jessica stared at the deceased insect for a few moments before turning her purse upside down and shaking. Not so much as a penny fell from it. "Ohh...maybe I shouldn't have gotten dessert at that diner on the way here." She groaned.

"What about your credit card?" Bart asked.

"Daddy's kept a close eye on it since the glitter balloon incident," Jessica replied with a sigh. "He'll report my location to Mr. Davy's men as soon as it beeps in a store." Jessica groaned and fell on her back.

"Jessica!" Bart dropped to his knees by her side. "Speak to me!"

"Bart..."

"Yes, Jessica..."

"Would it be okay...if I...stayed here for the night?"

"Y-You mean, in the treehouse?"

Jessica nodded. "I don't have any money right now but I'll pay you back. I promise."

"Jessica..." Bart smiled. "Of course you can stay. In fact...why don't...why don't you just stay here for the summer?"

Jessica's eyes widened. "In the treehouse? I don't know..."

"I know it's not exactly a five-star hotel or even the Sleep-Eazy but it'll be safe. Those patrol jerks will never find you here and my Mom and sisters hardly come here at all. And I can...I don't know...bring you food and stuff..." Bart chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "You know, out loud, it almost sounds like I'm kidnapping you."

Jessica rubbed her chin. "Bart does have a point," She thought. "I can't get into any hotel without money and even if I were to get some, it'd be safer to stay in one place then be moving around. Hmm." Jessica sighed. "Alright, it's not like I have a lot of options, but among the few I do have, I think this is the best one."

"Great!" Bart shouted. He quickly slapped his hands over his mouth and blushed as Jessica laughed. "I...I mean great!" He repeated more quietly. "I'll bring up some spare blankets and pillows." He stopped himself just as he was about to climb back out the treehouse. "You hungry?"

"I could eat," Jessica admitted. That chocolate truffle cake that consumed the last of her funds was but a distant memory now.

Bart nodded and jumped down out of the treehouse. He rushed inside and while keeping as quiet as a mouse, grabbed the spare blankets and pillows his mother had stashed away in the now dusty Rumpus Room. Next, he went into the kitchen and fixed a couple of sandwiches. He grabbed a bag of chips and a can of Buzz Cola from one of his father's still remaining snack stashes and took it all to the treehouse. He set the blankets and pillows down and brought the food up first, setting the plate on the floor from right outside the entrance.

"One order of Simpson-style sandwiches for the lady," He chuckled as he pushed the food further inside. Jessica scooted up to the plate and picked up one of the sandwiches.

"Looks just like a ordinary sandwich to me."

"Yeah but it has a special ingredient," Bart replied from outside as he pulled the blankets and pillows over his shoulder.

"Love?"

"Cream from a Twinkie."

"Gross!" Jessica gagged as she pulled the sandwich away from herself. Her stomach growled, reminding her how hungry she was and so with a small groan, she forced herself to bite into it. To her surprise, the cream created a pleasant aftertaste to the sandwich. "Wow! Bart, I always thought your Dad was a moron but this...this is genius!"

"Meh!" Bart shrugged it off as he pulled the blankets and pillows into the treehouse. "Even the biggest morons are geniuses at something. Anyway," He pushed the bedtime items toward the eating Jessica. "Your poor excuse for a bed, madam!"

Jessica giggled as Bart bowed. "Why thank you, Jeeves. That will be all for tonight."

"Jeeves!?" Bart shot his head up. "No way! If I'm any kinda butler, I'm Alfred! Or that one butler from that anime show Lisa used to be into. You know, the one that makes girls obsessed with seeing boys kiss."

Jessica scoffed, partly to disguise her embarrassment over knowing what series Bart was talking about. "Whatever Jeeves! Good night!"

"Of all the..." Bart started to mumble as he started to climb down the treehouse. "Freakin...Jeeves.."

"Oh Jeeves..." Jessica called in a sing-songy voice.

Bart grumbled, starting to get legitimately annoyed with that nickname, before poking his head out of the door. "Yes, Ma-"

Jessica was waiting for him on the edge and planted a kiss on his right cheek as soon as he popped his head in. Bart blushed as Jessica's lips marked his face with red lipstick. Once she was done, Jessica pulled away from Bart's cheek and rose her face up to his ear. "Good night Bart and thank you."

"Uh...you're...You welcome! Good night!" Bart replied before climbing down in a haste. It was halfway down to the ground that Bart realized his error. "You welcome? Dammit!" He slapped himself in the face and continued to mutter to himself as Jessica watched on with a giggle, the first sandwich already halved in her hand.

Bart set everything in place, put Bluey back in his resting place, and climbed back into bed. He watched the treehouse from his window and while the flashlight was now off and no movement could be seen, he could still feel Jessica in there. He could practically see her remove her shoes and slide under the covers, resting near the window and enjoying the cool night breeze blowing through.

It was with this comforting thought that Bart was able to fall asleep too.

---

Marge sighed as the bacon sizzled in the pan. The smell of cooking pig meat reminded her of her husband. There was half as much bacon in the pan as there used to be now that he was gone and somehow, those empty spaces just seemed to bother her. Nonetheless, Marge had a family to feed and so she lifted the pan, tilted it toward the waiting plate with the bacon she had already cooked...

...and noticed that said bacon wasn't there.

Marge murmured. "I could have sworn I already had bacon in that plate."

...

"I gotta say, Bart." Jessica paused to swallow the bacon in her mouth. "Your mom's a great cook."

"Tell me something I don't know," Bart replied from the treehouse entrance. "Now, you eat that and I'll try to stop by during my lunch break."

Jessica giggled. "I still can't believe you got stuck working for Krusty Burger,"

"Shut up," Bart retorted as he grabbed his work hat and fixed it on his head. "Look, I'll see you later, alright?"

"Yeah,"

Bart nodded and began descending down the treehouse.

"And thanks for the bacon!" Jessica shouted from above.

Bart paused to salute her and continued his descent, hopping to the ground once he was low enough. He ran back into the kitchen where his mother was just pouring what she figured was her third helping of bacon into the plate.

"Say Bart," She asked. "You didn't by chance take any bacon off of this plate earlier, did you?"

"I did now," Bart said as he grabbed a strip for himself, only to yelp in pain as the hot grease burned his fingers. It was a desperate game of catch after that, Bart struggling to keep the bacon from falling to the floor, but in the end, he was victorious and slipped the strip into his mouth with a satisfying crunch. As he made his way to the table, he noticed his youngest sister already seated and aggressively texting on her phone.

"No! You're a donkey's butt! No you! No you!" She giggled.

"Who's a donkey's butt?" Bart asked as he seated himself. "Is it Gerald?"

"Huh?" Maggie looked up from her phone. "Oh no. It's Eli. My new friend. You met him yesterday, remember?"

"I distinctly remember there being a small person that wasn't you in the kitchen, like one of those bad AI images."

Maggie frowned.

"Aww. I'm sorry, Mags. I was just clocked out from work is all. I didn't mean to be rude to your new friend."

"It's okay. I know you were tired." Maggie reassured her brother. "Besides, there's always next time, right?"

"Yep," Bart nodded. "And from the sounds of it, this Eli kid seems pretty cool."

"Oh he is!" Maggie beamed. "He knows how to hot-wire a car and fifty different slang words for tagging and he has a switchblade!"

"A switchblade, huh?" Bart's interest grew.

"Uh huh!" Maggie nodded. "You should have seen it, Bart. He was twirling it and tossing it and it looked so cool."

"Oh sure it looks cool now," Marge broke in as she set a plate of eggs and bacon before her children. "But when that switchblade pokes your eyes out, you won't think it looks so cool then! Mostly, because you'll be blind." Marge paused for a moment before quietly gasping to herself. "Oh my God! I forgot to make my bed this morning!" With this, Marge rushed over to her room.

"Mom is kinda right," Bart said. "Having a switchblade can be pretty dangerous. You have to be responsible with it."

"I know," Maggie sighed. "But still...it would be so cool to have one...you know?"

"Hmm..." Bart rubbed his chin for a moment. "You know what, Mags? I forgot something too. Excuse me for a sec."

"Sure," Maggie said through a bite of scrambled egg as Bart got up from the table and headed for his room. As Lisa seemed to not be up yet, Maggie was left alone in the kitchen with nothing but the boiling of tonight's stew and the sound of her own chewing to keep her company. She noticed Bart's plate on the table, made sure she couldn't hear his footsteps approaching, and slid all of his food onto her plate. Most people couldn't tell just by looking at her but Maggie loved to eat, a trait she inherited from her father that, much like her bookworm tendencies, she wasn't keen on showing people. Nonetheless, she set the empty plate down and mumbled with pleasure as she slid more egg into her mouth.

At that moment, Bart came back in, one hand shoved into his pocket. He sat back down, made sure he couldn't hear his mother's footsteps coming down the stairs, and pulled out a shiny metal handle. "Hey Mags!"

Maggie looked up from her food with a curious expression, even as her mouth still chewed.

"Ta-da!" Bart pressed the switch and let the blade fall toward Maggie. The baby of the Simpson family gasped and choked on her food in surprise but, as with her father, was able to readjust the food from her gullet and avoid disaster. After she had given herself a few seconds to pant, she stared at the knife in awe, mouth agape and eyes sparkling. "Wicked cool! You have a switchblade too?"

"Correction." Bart closed the knife, turned it around in his hand, and handed it to Maggie. "You have a switchblade too."

Maggie gasped. "Y...You're joking..."

"Not this time, little sister." Bart assured her. "I have a few of these bad boys stashed around for rainy days. I figure I can afford to lend you one."

"Bart..." Maggie's lips trembled as she reached for the switchblade with both hands. She grabbed it gently and beamed as she looked it over. "T-Thank you!"

"Now promise me you'll be careful with that thing, alright?" Bart warned. "Don't show it off unless it's for people you trust and don't ever use it to hurt somebody unless it's in self-defense, got it?"

"I got it! I got it!"

"Got what?" Marge asked as she stepped into the kitchen. Bart and Maggie screamed as the latter hid the switchblade behind her back. "Got um...leprosy?"

"What!?" Marge asked as she heard footsteps walking behind her. She turned to see Lisa enter the kitchen, rubbing fatigue from her eyes with a groan. "Oh Lisa! You're finally up!"

"Sorry about that, Mom." Lisa yawned. "I've just been up late doing some personal research."

"Oh? On what?"

"...Dolphins." Lisa replied blankly before sitting herself down at the table.

"Lisa, Lisa, Lisa," Bart shook his head in disappointment. "The only person I know who researches things for fun."

"Shut up," Lisa mumbled as rubbed her eyes again. It was clear to everyone that she was exhausted, much more so than she was letting on.

"Oh dear," Marge cooed. "Do you want anything, sweetie? I can brew you some coffee before you go to work."

Lisa wagged her finger. "No coffee for me. Just bring me the fruit bowl please. I want a light breakfast today."

"There's light and then there's starving yourself," Bart commented as he pushed his fork through air. "Speaking of work, I better get going..." It was then that Bart noticed his plate was empty. "Huh. I don't even remembering eating that."

Maggie giggled.

"Just as well. Like I said, I'm running late for work." Bart got up from the table.

"Oh...are you still hungry?" Marge asked.

"I'll sneak one of their breakfast sandwiches before my shift." He planted a kiss on his mother's cheek. "See you later! With that, he ran toward the door.

"Bart, don't forget we're having stew tonight!"

"Fuck yeah!" Maggie shouted

"Maggie!" Lisa scolded.

"Sounds great! Smell ya later!" Bart slammed the door shut behind him.

"Oh that Bart. Always in a hurry." Marge shook her head and grabbed the fruit basket which she then placed on the table before Lisa. "Here, sweetie. Eat as much as you need."

Lisa waved her hand again," It's fine. It's fine. "I'll just have a pear." Lisa grabbed a single pear from the basket and chomped down. The pear produced a satisfying crunch to Lisa as the juices washed over her tongue. She felt more awake already.

"Lisa..."Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Maggie. I really am." Lisa leaned toward her sister. "You know, when you get older, you'll be surprised how much you're able to accomplish even when running low on energy."

"Like slaughter."

Lisa groaned. The bitch was up now as well.

"Oh...okay." Maggie used this opportunity to slip the switchblade into her pocket beneath the table. Lisa simply took another bite out of her pear, none the wiser. "Um...Lisa?"

"M-hmm?" Lisa murmured through the pear.

"About Eli...I...I hope the weird thing you have going on with his brother...doesn't make us being friends weird...if that makes sense."

Lisa pulled the pear away from her mouth and sighed happily. "Maggie, Maggie, Maggie." She patted her sister on the head. "What Maurice may or may not be trying to do has nothing to do with his brother or you. It's not even that serious a situation, just some small-scale work drama."

"So..." Maggie brightened up. "So that means you're cool with Eli still?"

"Of course," Lisa took a third bite out of her pear. "I'm cool with Eli..." She dragged out the "I" longer than necessary, pointing both fingers at Maggie as well.

"Umm...that's...great..." Maggie brightened up again. "Because I'm going to meet him at the park right now! I can't wait to show him..." Maggie trailed off as she realized she was about to say switchblade.

"Show him what?" Lisa asked in a semi-confused voice.

"Umm...show him...that scar I have above my left knee! You know, the one I got in that climbing contest with Gerald last year? Maggie got up from her table and lightly lifted the left leg of her shorts, reminding Lisa of that fateful day. Maggie was lucky all she got out of that fiasco was a measly scar.

"I see," Lisa said in a somewhat unconvinced tone.

"Anyway, I gotta bounce so have a nice day at the shelter, Lisa. Oh, and if you see Maurice, well..."

"Yeah?" Lisa raised an eyebrow.

"Just...Just try to be nice to him, okay?" Maggie ran to her mother who was currently messing with the stew and hugged her legs. "See you later, Mom!"

"Good-bye, sweetie. Have a nice day!" Marge planted a kiss on Maggie's cheek. "I'll be sure to pick up some of that creamed corn you like so much to put in the stew!"

"I repeat, fuck yeah!" Maggie shouted as she ran for the door.

"No F-bombs in the house!" Marge called after her youngest daughter with a sigh as she closed the door. "Lisa, are you sure you don't want anything besides a pear for breakfast?"

"I'm fine, Mom. Really." Lisa finished off the pear with a final bite.

"If you say so," Marge sighed. "I'll go ahead and add the vegetables before the meat in tonight's stew so I can set some aside for you."

"Thanks, Mom! You're the best!" Lisa got up from the table and planted a kiss on her mother's cheek. "I gotta get going now."

"Have a great day at the shelter, sweetheart. And don't forget: All cats love boxes..."

"...And all dogs love butt-scratches." Lisa giggled. "I know. I know. See you later!" With this, Lisa walked out of the house after her siblings. She started her usual route toward the shelter and pulled out her phone.

"No gym today?"

"No gym or shelter." Lisa whispered. "I'm calling in sick right now."

"Lisa Simpson, calling in sick on false pretenses? My, my, what a naughty girl you've become."

"Shut up," Lisa grumbled. "Besides, don't you want to find your next hunting ground?"

"I see. So we're going with that plan after all, huh?"

"I didn't want to drag Maggie into this in any capacity but as far as I can see, that ship has sailed. Besides, if I'm careful, she won't even know I'm there."

"Plus it'll save us the trouble of scouting out all the locations on that little list of yours." The Beast purred. "If there's one thing a predator hates worse than anything, it's wasted energy."

"We just got to hope that Eli says what we want to hear," Lisa had just finished dialing Clarissa and pulled the phone to her ear. "I really hate lying to Clarissa but if it means ensuring the dogs at our shelter don't just end up tearing each apart, it'll be well worth it."

"Let's just hope this ends with something getting torn up."

Lisa made a turn away from her usual path toward the shelter just as Clarissa answered. Lisa reached into her pocket, grabbed two acorns, and stuck them in her nose.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Clarissa." Lisa answered in her now stuffed-up sounding voice.

"Lisa! What's with the early-bird call? Did something happen?"

"No, no. Nothing important. But listen. I think I'm-" Lisa interrupted herself to cough. "Think I'm coming down with something today."

"Oh dear! Like the flu?"

"I don't know what it is but-" Another bout of forced coughing. "But it's bad. I think I might have to stay home today."

"Yeah...you do sound terrible."

"I'm sorry. I really don't wanna leave you and Madison alone, especially if those guys come back."

"Oh no! Don't you worry about us!" Clarissa reassured her. "Me and Madison can take care of ourselves! Just get some rest, drink some orange juice if you have it and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!" Lisa sniffled for good measure.

"Great! Get well soon, Lisa!"

"Thanks! I will. Buh-bye!" Lisa hung up and pressed her finger against the side of her nose. With a single snort, she banished the acorns from her nostrils as the Beast roared with laughter inside her head

"If only I had a camera in here...oh wait...with complete insight into your thoughts and memories, I basically have it recorded anyway!" She chuckled.

Lisa sighed. "Well, that's taken care of. Now let's take a walk in the park."

---

Homer sighed as he lumbered back into his office. Getting chewed out by your boss for sleeping in for an entire day was not an ideal way to start the morning. Already he found himself longing for yet another deep sleep as he fell into his chair. On the monitors before him, life was abuzz as usual for the power plant. Some people were doing their jobs, some were goofing off and one guy was dropping bits of green liquid in front of a rat hole, no doubt trying to kill the little bastards with radiation poisoning.

Homer nearly fell asleep in his chair, only to awake with a start and pull his head up again. He groaned as he continued to watch the monitors, barely hearing Lenny and Carl walk in as they opened the door.

"Heya Homer," Lenny greeted. "I heard you got chewed out by Burns again."

"Man, word travels fast." Homer turned to Lenny. "From where?"

"From down the hall," Lenny confessed. "I gotta tell ya, ever since he got those vocal implants, Burns can yell like a drill sergeant."

"With the language to match," Carl added. "I mean, I didn't even know the meaning of half of the words he said but they sure sounded like swears to me!"

"It's alright, guys," Homer waved his hand in dismissal. "You know how Mr. Burns likes to bust my chops. It's just routine."

"If you say so," Lenny suddenly brightened up. "Hey! After work, why don't we all have a drink...

Homer looked up sadly at Lenny as Carl glared at him.

"Uh...privately alone in the comfort of our own homes?" He smiled nervously as Carl facepalmed.

"Yeah...that was the plan anyhow." Homer turned back to his control room.

"Homer, I'm sorry! It's just-"

Before Lenny could say anymore, Carl held a hand out over him. He shook his head and gestured for Lenny to follow him back out into the hall. Lenny hesitated, not wanting to leave things in the awkward situation they were in but as he looked into Carl's eyes, he realized that there was no salvaging this moment. And so with a sigh of defeat and guilt swimming in his gut, Lenny followed Carl out of Homer's room, leaving the big oaf to mindlessly watch the man who tried to poison the rats with radiation earlier get chased by the beastial monstrosities of his own creation.

---

Jessica paced back and forth in the treehouse, stopping every time she passed by the window to look through it. Her attention was focused on the house before her, her ears primed for even the slightest purr of a car's engine.

But no such luck. It remained dead silent and Jessica was losing patience.

"Come on, you old hag! Go already!" She groaned as her legs buckled. "I really need to go!"

There were many accommodations Bart had provided in his old treehouse but a working bathroom wasn't one of them. Jessica figured it wouldn't be too much trouble, she would just have to wait until Mrs. Simpson stepped out on a shopping trip or the like and sneak into the house. It would have been a real simple solution...

...if not for the fact that Marge simply wouldn't leave. The car stayed silent in the garage and every so often, Jessica could see that giant tower of blue roll across the kitchen window. With each minute that passed in waiting, disaster crept closer and with a heavy sigh, Jessica came to face the truth.

She could not wait any longer.

"This is stupid, this is stupid, this is stupid!" She whispered as she climbed down the treehouse. "Am I really trying to break into Bart's house just to use the restroom? Is that how far I've fallen?"

Jessica heard a door open and froze up with a squeak. She covered her mouth with her hands and lowered herself to the ground as her gaze rolled up toward the Simpson's back door. To both her shock and relief, it was still closed.

"I don't really like that Homer is a loner but I have to admit, it's nice to finally have my flowers reach full-diddly- maturity." Ned Flander's voice spoke from behind the fence.

"Shit!" Jessica whispered. "If that Churchy Joe finds me, I'm done for! I gotta get inside fast!"

With her yellow skin coated in sweat, Jessica tip-toed toward the back door while listening to Ned. Clearly, he hadn't noticed her yet and from the sound of his humming of Amazing Grace and the sound of soil being shoveled, she could tell that he was gardening.

Good. Now was a good a chance as any for her to make it inside. She snuck to the door, reached for the handle and practically fell to the ground as she heard the window open.

"I sure do miss my Homie, but at least I'm almost certain this pie will survive a few hours on the windowsill," Marge hummed as she placed a steaming apple pie on the window. "Hmm?" She looked around the area. "That's odd. I could have sworn someone else was there just now, just outside of my peripheral vision." Then she heard Ned singing in his garden and sighed. "Guess it's just Ned." With that, she closed the window, allow Jessica to peel herself away from the wall directly beneath it.

"That was too close!" She growled. "I almost wet myself here and now!" Jessica got up to her knees, turned and peeked out the window, watching as Marge left the kitchen.

"Now's my chance!" Jessica checked the door, uttered a exhale of relief that it was unlocked, and let herself in. Once in the safety of the kitchen, Jessica was temporarily distracted by the delicious smell coming from the pot on the stove. She snuck up to it, lifted the pot lid and grabbed the ladle next to it, helping herself to a taste. "Mmmm..." She smacked her lips. "If only Mom could cook this good...shit!" Jessica remembered why she came in here in the first place, placed the lid back on the pot and left for the bathroom. It was the first real time that Jessica had ever been in the Simpson's house and she wasn't sure where to start. "Let's see...bathrooms are usually upstairs, aren't they?" Jessica shrugged as she decided to check out the second story first "Please don't be upstairs! Please don't be upstairs!"

Jessica dashed up the steps and tried the first door to her left, only to find it was Lisa's room. "Dammit!"

She tried the door on the other side, finding the absolute mess of a room that Maggie called home. "Shit!"

She tried again with the room further left. It turned out to be Bart's. "D'oh!"

She tried the room opposite of that and sighed in relief when she found the bathroom. "Oh sweet salvation!"

She ran inside and slammed the door shut.

...

"Phew! Glad that's over." Jessica said as she walked down the stairs. "Now I just have to-"

"Hello?" Marge popped in from the living room, the still steaming pie in her hands. Jessica ducked down in the middle of the stairs, just out of Marge's sight. "Bart? Lisa? Maggie? Did anyone of you just use the toilet?"

"Dammit!" Jessica thought. "I knew I shouldn't have bothered to flush! This is why I hate common human courtesy!" She ran up the stairs just as Marge looked up. Thanks to the steam in front of her, she couldn't make out whether or not she was seeing real movement.

"Kids?" She set the pie down and took her gloves off. "Homer?"

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Jessica mumbled to herself. "Fuck! I'm trapped here! She's gonna find me for sure! She's gonna..." Jessica trailed off as she noticed the room to Bart's door was still open...

...and happened to have a window where she could see the treehouse.

"Kids?" Marge called out again as she made it to the top of the stairs. "Please say something. This silence is really discomforting!" She murmured as she noticed all the open doors. "That's odd. I could have sworn I closed all those doors already." Humming to herself, Marge proceeded to close the doors to her children's rooms one by one, finishing with Bart's.

She never noticed the fingers gripping the sill of his open window.

"Okay...Maybe I didn't think this through." Jessica admitted to herself. "Okay, Jessica. Stay calm...if you buckle down and use your brain, I'm sure you can-"

Her fingers slipped and Jessica fell to the ground with a thud...

...a thud that Marge happened to hear. "What on earth was that?" She rushed down the stairs.

"Oww!" Jessica rubbed her lower back with a groan. It didn't seem like the fall had damaged her too much, just a few cuts and scrapes as well as a soreness all over her body. Despite this, Jessica found she could still move quite well as when she heard the back door open again, she cursed and rolled herself behind the nearby trash cans.

"Hello?" Marge called out as she walked outside. "Is anyone there?"

"I don't mean to barge, but that sounds like Marge." Ned poked his head out over the fence. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, Ned." Marge reassured her neighbor. "I just thought I heard something fall in the yard."

"Well cover me in sprinkles and call me a doughnut because that's what I thought I heard too!" Ned said. "Guess Godly minds think alike."

Marge murmured happily before looking around the yard. With Jessica just out of view behind the trashcans, she couldn't see anything out of the ordinary.

"I don't see anything out of the ordinary." She said out loud. "Maybe we both imagined it at the same time. Is that a thing? Is that a science thing?"

"Oh, we don't go poking our noses in the Devil's sciences in this house," Ned wagged his finger. "But I bet your daughter may know a thing or two about that sinful psychology. She's as bright as Jerusalem's Star on December nights."

"Hmm...I guess you're right, Ned." Marge scratched her chin. "Thank you. Now I have something to ask her over dinner tonight."

"Oh! What are you having."

"Beef stew!"

"Sounds scrump-diddly-tious!" Ned laughed. "Well, I gotta get back to my posies. Say hi to the kids for me."

"Will do, Ned," Marge turned to her door. "Oh but please let me know if you see anything strange!"

"Okilly-Dokilly!" Ned saluted before going back to his garden. Marge nodded and hummed as she reentered her house.

"Come on," Jessica groaned. "Move!"

She watched from behind the trash can as Ned lowered himself behind the fence and started humming himself.

"Now's my chance!"

Jessica forced herself to keep quiet as her joints ached, got back to her feet, and dashed toward the safety of the treehouse. She was halfway there when Ned's voice suddenly rose in panic.

"Holy Moses in Roses!"

"Crap!" I'm fucked!" Jessica thought.

At that moment, Ned rose up from behind the fence again, his attention fixed solely on the broken stick that used to be his hoe.

"Well, see you in Gardening Heaven, little buddy. I gotta get me another hoe!" Ned dropped the broken hoe and rushed inside, leaving a bewildered Jessica standing in the Simpson's backyard.

"Man, adults are stupid." She shook her head before making her way back to the treehouse.

---

It didn't take long at all for Lisa to find Maggie once she had made it to the park. She made it a point to keep her distance and out of sight, of course, watching Maggie from behind trees and playsets as the young girl waited for her new friend.

"You know, if someone catches you like this, you'll be mistaken for a different kind of predator if you know what I mean."

"Uggh...how do you manage to come up with the most off-putting way of stating things?"

"It's a gift."

Lisa scoffed and turned her attention back to her little sister. Maggie was currently sitting on a bench besides the sidewalk, moving her legs up and down as she waited for Eli.

"Okay, I need to move closer if I'm gonna overhear them." With this, Lisa slunk toward Maggie, taking great pains to keep her shoes from making any noise in the grass. She nearly got knocked down by a pair of running kids, growled, and continued moving toward a single tree opposite of where Maggie was sitting. It wasn't very wide but if Lisa could keep from moving an inch, she could hide her entire self behind the trunk. She waited until Maggie checked her phone and rushed up at the tree, turning and pressing her back against it, sweat peppering her body.

Maggie thought she heard a rustling sound and looked up toward the tree. She couldn't see anything out of the ordinary and yet, something felt off with the tree. She squinted her eyes and was just about to considering walking up to it when she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"What's shaken, bacon!"

Maggie turned her attention to Eli who walked down the sidewalk with a big grin on his teeth. Her own mouth curved into a smile upon seeing him. "Eli! I thought you would never show up."

"Hey, I might have grown up in the hood but my brother raised a gentlemen." Eli said. "Hell, he'd beat my ass if he knew I left a lady waiting." He stopped as he reached the bench and put his hands in his pockets. "So, what you feel like doing today?"

Maggie jumped off of the bench and got in Eli's face. "Come on the monkey dome with me! I got something I wanna show ya!"

Eli was taken aback by Maggie's sudden boldness. "Um...okay...wait!" Maggie grabbed Eli's hand and pulled him toward the monkey dome a few feet away from the bench. Lisa slowly poked her head behind the tree, noticed another tree and a couple of bushes near the dome and rushed toward them, once again careful not to let her shoes make any noise. Once she had made it to the safety of the foliage, Lisa steadied herself and watched as the two kids climbed the monkey dome in haste, giggling all the while. It warmed Lisa's heart to see her kid sister at play once again.

She just hoped she wouldn't have to ruin it.

"Alright, alright." Eli snickered as he and Maggie sat on top of the monkey dome. "We're here so why don't you show me what you gotta show me?"

"Alright, if you insist," Maggie giggled as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her switchblade, flipping the knife toward his face. "Fear me if you dare!"

"Whoa!" Eli waved his arms as he nearly fell off the dome. He managed to catch himself on the bars and pull himself upward with Maggie helping him

"Eli, are you okay?"

"What!? Where did Maggie get that knife from?" Lisa asked herself.

"Maybe she snuck it from your secret stash," The Beast mockingly suggested. "Maybe the little shit's on to you."

"I haven't used switchblades since the pond incident and you know it!" Lisa whispered. "No, there's no way Maggie could have found that switchblade around the house...unless...

"I'm fine," Eli said as he dusted himself off. "But girl, if you're showing off a weapon, be it a blade or a gun or even a freaking nuke, you do not point that shit on a friend!"

"Sorry," Maggie said sheepishly. "My brother gave it to me earlier today and I guess I got too excited."

"Bart!" Lisa hissed. "Ohh, you're lucky I'm too busy to tattle on Mom or you'd be in deep, deep trouble!"

"Ugh...what kind of 16-year old says Tattle?"

"I do now shut it!"

"Your brother huh? You mean that sleepy guy in the kitchen from the other day?"

"Yeah," Maggie confirmed. "Like I said, he's a lot more lively before work than after. You really outta meet him sometime. I think you two would get along great!"

"Yeah, maybe." Eli agreed. "Hopefully, he's more friendly than your sister."

"Hey," Lisa growled as the Beast laughed in her head.

"Yeah...about that...sorry about last night..." Maggie said. "It's just, Lisa's always been really protective of animals, even more than people sometimes. You can imagine the idea of the dogs in her shelter being adopted just so they can fight doesn't really sit right with her. I-I'm not saying that that's what you and your brother are doing, I just-"

"Maggie." Eli said seriously. "Stop."

Maggie's lips quivered. "I...I'm sorry. I guess I'm just making things sound worse, aren't I?

Eli shook his head. "No I mean...well...I guess I'm the one that should be saying sorry actually."

Maggie's eyes widened. "W-Why...exactly?"

"Well...Eli avoided her gaze for a few moments before meeting it head on. "Because she was right."

"Huh?" Maggie said.

"Huh?" Lisa said.

"Heh."

"Look, I wasn't so sure if I should tell you this but...if we're gonna be friends... then you deserve the truth." Eli played with his thumbs. "And the truth is, my brother really was trying to get a fight dog from the shelter. A couple of them actually."

"A-A fight dog?" Maggie gasped in horror. "You guys fight dogs?"

"Well, my brother does." Eli said. "Actually, it'd be more accurate to say he's trying to. This would be his first time."

"But why?" Maggie asked. "Why would he do such an awful thing?"

"The same reason a lot of people do awful things. For money." Eli looked up at the sky. "You see, Maggie, a lot of the people you see in the hood aren't there by choice. We don't like the crime or the violence or the poverty. We just deal cuz we ain't got no other choice and for most folks, it stays that way." He turned to Maggie, "But they've been setting things up lately, trying to get the dog fights back in Springfield, get some money circulating through our side. Maurice says if he gets lucky, we can finally move out of here to somewhere better! Somewhere safer!"

"B-But what about the Animal Avenger?" Maggie asked. "Aren't you guys afraid she'll come after you?"

Eli raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think the Animal Avenger's a she?"

Once again, Lisa growled as the Beast laughed.

"It happens to be a commonly accepted theory." Maggie crossed her arms as she said this.

"Well, regardless, I wouldn't worry about that," Eli said. "They'll be guards armed to the teeth around this event. That psycho ain't coming within 50 ft of Maurice without a dozen new holes in their body."

"Kid, if they're anything like the guards I've dealt with in the past, I don't have anything to worry about."

The Beast snickered again as Lisa smiled.

"Look, it's not like I don't get it. And I feel bad for the dogs but...if it means me and my brother can live a better life where we don't have to resort to something like this...well...maybe's it's not my place to say it's okay but...I just...I just didn't want you to think that I was hiding this from you."

"I...I guess I see your point..." Maggie sighed. "I can understand...wanting a better life for yourself...but...l-look can you at least tell your brother to stop trying to get a dog at Lisa's shelter? She loves animals and-"

"I wouldn't worry about that," Eli spoke up. "Maurice already told me he was gonna stop trying at that shelter last night. Guess your sister showing up at our place spooked him or at least, made him feel guilty."

Maggie laughed nervously. "Y-Yeah, My sister has a way of doing that."

Lisa smirked as the Beast sighed.

"But then, where's your brother gonna get a fight dog?" Maggie asked.

"He said he found something," Eli assured her. "Don't worry."

"Must be talking about that little meet-up they were discussing yesterday,"

Lisa growled.

"Well, as long as it's not from Lisa's shelter, then I guess it's okay...I mean...it's not but..." Maggie trailed off, unsure of how to reply.

"So...are we still friends?" Eli asked meekly.

"Wha? Eli don't be stupid! Of course, we're still friends! Dog fighting may have not been among them but trust me, the list of crimes my brother and old man have gotten the family mixed up in wouldn't even fit in a letter!"

Lisa felt like facepalming as the Beast snickered.

"Heh! I would have never guessed." Eli chuckled.

"You bet! I mean we're banned in like 15 states as of this year."

"Maggie. Shut up!" Lisa grunted.

"The point is, while I don't agree with this, i understand why your brother's involved so, I won't hold it against you. Just promise you'll take good care of your fight dog when he's not in the ring, okay?"

"Of course," Eli nodded. "Say, do you want to come?"

"Come...to what?"

"To the dog fight of course! It'll be at the docks on Friday night!"

"Bingo! Looks like your gambit paid off, dear friend."

"Yeah," Lisa muttered as she glared at Eli. "And just in time too. My anger was just about to flare up."

"The docks? W-Why there?"

"It's a pretty far place from town. Chances are, the Animal Avenger won't find us there. Plus, there won't be a whole lot of people there on account of that sea captain's death scaring a bunch of the fishermen off."

"Oh yeah," Maggie sighed. "I heard they were bulldozing the Frying Dutchman to make a strip club."

"So what do you say?" Eli asked. "It'll be fun! Like going to a wrestling match but with dogs!"

"Maggie no!" Lisa whispered. "You're better than this! I know you are!"

"Is she?" The Beast inquired. "She is your brother's sister after all."

Lisa banged her head against the tree she was hiding behind once. It dazed her but through her spinning head, she heard the Beast moan in discomfort and smiled.

"What was that?" Eli asked.

"Sounds like a woodpecker," Maggie answered.

"Huh...thought the radiation killed them all..." He turned back to Maggie." "So, you want in?"

Maggie scratched her chin for a moment, humming to herself, totally unaware of her panicked sister watching her from behind the tree. "...Sorry, Eli. But I can't do that."

Lisa wiped the sweat off her brow.

"Aw man...are you sure?" Eli asked.

"Yeah," Maggie nodded. "I said I understand why you're brother's involved in this and I mean that but...I just can't agree with this...even if they're just dogs...it just seems wrong to me, you know..." Maggie chuckled nervously and scratched the back of her head. "I guess I must sound like a total nerd right now, huh?"

Eli shook her head. "I get it. Everyone's gotta have principals after all. I...I'm just glad we can still be friends despite this,"

Maggie nodded again. "Hey, what's say we forget about all the dogs and Animal Avenger talk and go get some ice cream?"

"Sounds like a plan, sister!" Eli took Maggie's hand and the two kids jumped off the monkey dome with giggles aplenty. Lisa watched as they ran toward the end of the park to the local ice cream shop. She sighed in relief as she stepped out of her hiding place.

"That was close. For a second there, I thought Maggie was really going to go to the dog fight.

"Then you would have had to slaughter her along with the boy."

"What are you talking about?" Lisa gasped. "I'd never hurt an innocent person for getting dragged into situations like this, least of all my little sister. And the boy...he's...he's too young to know any better, especially if it's his brother that's been raising him to think this way."

"Oh? Do I detect a hint of pity in your voice? Don't tell me his little sob story actually got to you?"

"Of course not," Lisa said. "Even if Maurice is in such dire straights that he needs to turn to a life of crime to save Eli, there's still no need to bring innocent dogs into it."

"Especially when drugs exist."

"I do feel bad for Eli. I'll admit that much but animal abuse is still animal abuse and now that we know where the dog fighting is taking place, we have to make like Negan and shut that shit down!"

"...Did...Did you just make a fucking pop culture reference?"

"Err...it happens sometimes...wasn't too bad, was it?"

"Eh, a little dated but at least it conveyed what we're going to do to those flesh bags come Friday." The Beast snickered.

"Right, so let's head home and make our plan of attack!"

"But Wait! Didn't you already tell your mother that you were going to work? The work that you called in sick for?"

It then dawned on Lisa that she was prepared to watch Maggie and Eli for the entire day to get the information that she needed. Now that she had obtained it not even an hour after she left, she was basically stuck in a social limbo for the next few hours.

"D'oh!"

---

Bart wasn't sure how he was going to explain his sudden visit home to his mother. Sure, it wasn't unusual for him to come home to eat his lunch and wash up a bit before going back to work but he would usually be content with eating in the dining room or the kitchen. To want to eat in his old dilapidated treehouse, he was almost certain his mother would raise an eyebrow. And God help him if Maggie had returned from her play date too soon.

Fortune seemed to be smiling on Bart today, however, for when he returned home, he found his mother's car missing from the driveway. Uttering a sigh of relief, he parked his bike in the garage. pulled the food he was carrying out of the cage between the handles, and headed inside. He petted Santa's Little Helper and Aristotle, both of whom were watching TV on the couch, and whistled the theme to JAWS as he made his way to the treehouse, a bag with burgers and fries in one hand and a tray of Krusty's Pink-Dye Lemon-Lime Surprises in the other.

"Jessica!" Bart called out once he was under the treehouse. "You there?"

"Bart, is that you?" Jessica asked from inside. Her voice sounded strained.

"Yeah, it's me. I brought lunch!" He set the drinks down, grabbed the bag with his teeth, and started up the tree. "Hope you like Krusty Burger." He spoke through the bag as he poked his head inside the treehouse. "Because I..."

He let go of the bag as he gasped, letting the food fall to the ground, near the drinks.

Jessica was curled up against the wall, cuts and scrapes all over her arms and legs. She didn't seem to be in current distress but from the way she was frowning, Bart could tell she wasn't exactly comfortable either.

"Jessica! Oh my God!" Bart climbed into the treehouse and rushed up to her. "What the hell happened?"

"I...fell..."

"From the treehouse?"

"From your room."

"My room?"

Jessica blushed slightly. "I...I needed to use the restroom alright?"

"...Okay but why would you use the restroom in my room?"

"No! I didn't mean-" Jessica groaned as she wiped her hands over her face. "Never mind, listen, do you think you could get me some Leosnorin?"

"Of course! My Mom's stocked up! Just wait here." Bart backed up to the opening and climbed down. He rushed inside and headed straight for the main bathroom. He tore open the mirror and sure enough, several packets of Leosnorin fell out, depicting a lion sleeping on the orange package. Bart grabbed one and headed right back for the treehouse. Once back inside, he opened up the package and took the tube out. "Alright, can you come to the window so I can see better? "

"I-I think so," Jessica moaned as she crawled toward the window and into the sunbeam shining directly into the treehouse. She stretched her bare legs toward Bart as he came crawling with the Leosnorin. He noticed a cut under her left knee and squeezed a tiny droplet of the medicinal ointment on it. With his thumb, he rubbed the ointment into the wound. Jessica groaned as he rubbed it.

"Y-You okay?" Bart asked.

Jessica nodded. "Just a little sore is all,"

"Well this stuff should help," Bart said as he squeezed another drop out and rubbed it against another cut on Jessica's right leg. It only now occurred to him how much physical contact he was having with Jessica's skin and while the more pressing manner of her well-being took center stage in his mind, he couldn't help but blush a little. The situation as it was wasn't lost on Jessica who blushed and turned away, tensing up every now and then as Bart rubbed the ointment in place.

After a few minutes, Bart had gotten every wound that he could see on Jessica's body and closed the tube back up. "There. Now nothing will get infected which means no amputation in your future."

"Yay me," Jessica droned. She curled up in a ball as her expression softened. "But...thanks...really..."

"You're welcome," Bart said as he crawled over to the treehouse's opening. "Now, how about some lunch? Today's special is Krusty Burger with a side of...oh..."

As Bart looked over the opening, he noticed the burgers he had dropped earlier fell on the drinks he had set down. The whole mess had been claimed by the fire ants Homer never got rid of, the little red insects swarming over the moistened buns and dirty fries.

"Uh..." He turned to Jessica with a sheepish smile. "How about a sandwich instead?"

---

Maggie hummed the theme to the movie ORCA as she skipped back home. She and Eli had said their good-byes at the park and with a belly full of ice cream and candy and the sugary result flowing through her bloodstream, she was full of energy. So much so that, without even realizing it, she had taken out her knife and started throwing it up and down in her left hand. The blade was still closed so one could only tell it was a knife if they were close enough and as she was nearing her house, it appeared to Maggie that she was alone.

Good. Now she could slip the knife back into her pocket and-

"Hey Maggie," Lisa's voice greeted from behind.

Maggie nearly jumped out of her skin as Lisa spoke. Once her brother did with the piece of bacon that morning, Maggie struggled to keep the closed switchblade from hitting the ground. Once she had finally won the struggle, she turned her head and gulped to see her older sister standing behind her, a somewhat judgmental look on her face. Immediately she turned around with a jump, hiding the knife behind her back. "O-Oh! H-Hi Lisa! H-How was work?"

"Uneventful. Maurice and his friends didn't show up at all today. Must have decided to look for a guard dog else where."

"Oh...really? I-I mean that's good! That's good! I mean, it's not that good, I mean-" Maggie broke into a nervous chuckle, cursing herself for her floundering.

"Say, what are you hiding behind your back?" Lisa turned her head slightly.

Maggie's eyes went wide. "M-My back!? N-Nothing! I-It's a...a candy bar! Just a candy bar!"

Lisa narrowed her gaze. "Can I see it?"

"...No." Maggie turned to run but Lisa was far faster and caught her little sister by the arm. She pulled the switchblade out of Maggie's grasp and held it over her head for a closer look.

"A switchblade?" Lisa turned to the struggling Maggie. "Where did you get this?"

"E-Eli gave it to me as a gift!" Maggie quickly replied.

"Really?" Lisa challenged softly. "Because if that's the case, maybe you shouldn't hang out with him any more."

"What!? No! No! Okay I lied. Bart gave it to me because I told him how cool Eli's knife was. I'm sorry."

Lisa grew silent for a second as she looked at the knife again. "Aye, that damned Bart. What was he thinking, giving you this?"

"Lisa, please! I wasn't going to hurt any one with it, I swear!" Maggie struggled again. "Look, keep it if you must but please don't tell Mom! I don't want Bart to get in trouble! Please?"

Lisa sighed as she got up. "Alright, come on," Lisa pulled Maggie along as she walked.

"W-Where are we going?"

"To the backyard, of course." Lisa answered while looking ahead. "Doesn't look like Mom or Bart are home yet."

"What does that mean?" Maggie cried. "What are you-" Then a look of absolute terror took over her face. "Oh no...you're not...You're not gonna make me watch the Magical History Power Hour on your phone, are you? Lisa, please! The shortest videos are three hours long and all the thumbnails are AI generated! Please have mercy!"

Lisa stopped in the middle of the yard, looked around to ensure no one else was watching, and let go of Maggie's arm. The youngest Simpson child whimpered as she rubbed her arm. It didn't hurt, but Lisa never gripped her like that unless she was dead serious about something. As far as she could tell, she was in deep, deep trouble thanks to the gift Bart had gotten her.

Thus, she was quite surprised when Lisa bent down and gently placed it back in her hands. "Huh?"

"Okay, do you know which side the knife comes out from?" Lisa asked quietly.

"Um...the side with the big screw on it?"

"Good, now hold the knife in front of you like this," Lisa grabbed her sister's hands and fixed them in place. "Now unsheathe the knife."

Still confused, Maggie did as she was asked, gasping as the knife popped out.

"Now you never want to have your fingers near the side when you open the knife." Lisa moved Maggie's fingers down the length of the knife until they were both clasped around the other side. "That blade takes up roughly one half of the knife so you always want to keep your fingers under the slider, got it?"

"Um...Lisa?"

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm teaching you how to use the switchblade properly."

"Oh...why?"

"Because I can already tell Bart didn't," Lisa answered flatly. "I mean, I get it. He has a job now and he had to leave in a hurry but he could at least have given you a few pointers, you know?"

"I suppose so..."

"This isn't a toy, Maggie. It's a weapon and it just might save your life one day but only if you know how to use it properly. So if Bart can't teach you, I will."

"But wait...how would you know how to use a switchblade?" Maggie asked.

Lisa scoffed. "Bart gave me a switchblade when I was your age, you know? And back then, he didn't have a job to take up all his free time. Of course, I threw the knife away but looking back, it was still nice to spend some quality time with my brother, you know, even if it was for some dumb old knife."

Maggie smiled. "So...does that mean you're not gonna tell Mom?"

"Only if you promise not to go all Animal Avenger Jr with this thing, alright?" Lisa asked.

"Fuck you!" Maggie playfully slapped Lisa on the side.

"No, forget you!" Lisa wrestled Maggie to the ground and started to tickle her, the knife falling to the ground next to them. Maggie giggled and kicked her legs about as her sister's fingers danced on the sides of her stomach.

"Stop!...Stop Lisa!"

"What? All I'm hearing is keep going!" Lisa laughed along with her sister.

"Two sisters playing in the yard. How sweet. How wholesome. How disgusting."

"You just have to put your two cents in, don't you?" Lisa thought. "You just can't enjoy anything that doesn't have to do with bloodshed and mayhem, can you?"

"I did enjoy the way you phased it, Animal Avenger Jr? A little too on the nose but that's what makes it funny."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do you honestly not see what's happening?" The Beast asked. "First, your little sister voices support for the Animal Avenger's mission then she gets gifted a switchblade of her very own. Baby's first weapon."

"No...No! Stop it right there! I know what you're suggesting and you're wrong! Maggie can never get dragged into this!"

"Why not? She clearly loves you and as I said, has already shown support for the Animal Avenger. For all you know, the girl might just jump for joy at the prospect of being the Animal Avenger's little protege!"

"Maggie's not like me. She eats meat. She's willing to let Eli and his brother go on with the dog fighting even when she herself is against it. She's just not...cut out for this kind of work."

"Says the girl who protest meat yet eats salad alongside her carnivorous family." The Beast whispered. "Then again, you are a predator, just of a different kind." The Beast chuckled. "A vegetarian predator. How most amusing."

Lisa groaned.

"But let's be perfectly frank, Lisa. We both know the real reason you secretly want your little sister in on the crusade. We both know the true reason you desire to take her under your blood-soaked wing."

Clementine's caring and kind face appeared in Lisa's mind.

"That's right. You told me you had accepted being different from the other maggots of this world and I still believe you. But it's clear that, for as far more evolved you are mentally from other human beings, there's still one crucial instinct of the human animal you can't escape and that's the need for union, the utter fear of being alone in your own Hell. Clementine could have provided a reprieve from your hell if she wasn't already consumed by her own but if you were to take little Maggie here under your care, you might have another way out."

"...And you're...actually encouraging this?" Lisa mentally asked.

"Of course. After all, even the most bloodthirsty of predators must still care for the next generation of killers."

"The next generation..." Lisa looked down at Maggie who she had let go of a few seconds before. The young girl was panting heavily, sweat sticking blades of grass and clumps of dirt to her skin. Nonetheless, she smiled, echoes of her laughter still escaping through her lips.

"Under my wing..."

---

Homer drove into the parking lot of the Stag Horn. He turned off his car and leaned his head against the wheel. He hardly had the mental strength to actually walk up those steps and into his empty room. He had made the mistake of driving by Moe's on his way home tonight. It was the long way to his apartment and there really wasn't any justification for him to do so but still he drove by. He drove by and saw the silhouettes of Lenny and Carl toasting mugs of foamy fresh-from-the-tap Duff. Homer licked his lips as he drove by and he had mostly convinced himself it was beer he was thirsting for instead of companionship by the time he got home.

Mostly.

With a heavy sigh, Homer grabbed his newest case of Duff, left the car and walked up the stairs. Kirk seemed to be out for the night, to exactly where Homer didn't care. He walked right in through the empty doorway and flipped the light switch up, startling a bunch of raccoons that had raided his newest snack stash. It was a quick and vicious struggle as Homer chased the furry animals out of his room. One of the more daring ones leapt up and bit him on the arm. He cried out in pain, shook his arm violently, and threw the raccoon out of the room and over the balcony.

"Party rocking in the house to-Oh God!" Kirk's voice cried from down in the lot. Apparently he had come back from where ever he had gone just in time for the enraged raccoon to land on him.

Ignoring the sound of Kirk's sobs, the racoon's growling and the tearing of flesh, Homer sighed again and threw himself on his bed. He lifted up his still bleeding arm and examined the wound closely. He decided he would get a rabies shot tomorrow before work and blame his lateness on traffic. He tore a can of Duff from the pack, cracked it open and poured the beer down his mouth. It didn't take long at all for the brown liquid to get into his eyes. He sat up with a cry of pain, dropping the can on his bed and wiped his eyes. Once he was able to blink the rest of the beer away, Homer laid back down, hardly noticing the puddle of beer forming beneath his body.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, from there, he removed a single picture of his family. He wasn't in the picture himself and that was intentional. Back when Bart and Lisa were still kids, Marge decided that everyone in the family should have one of these pictures, ones depicting everyone except for themselves so that they would always have family even in times when they were alone.

Homer sniffled and shed a single tear as he stared at his wife and kids in the photograph. The sound of an screaming Kirk Van Houten knocking over a bunch of trash cans down in the lot fell completely deaf on his ears.

---

The waves that crashed along the shoreline seemed all the louder now that the docks were virtually deserted. Every now and then, a bell could be heard from somewhere unknowable, adding yet another sense of horror to the place. It had hardly been a week since Captain McCallister was eaten by sharks after having his limbs removed and yet, the docks seemed as if they had been abandoned for years. It was so quiet that the footsteps of Maurice, Tony and Greg seemed to thunder upon each tread of the rotting wood, every squeak threatening to crack apart the wood and allow the poor bastards above to fall into the freezing sea below.

"Man...this place is giving me the creeps," Maurice admitted. "Man, I don't even like sitting through scary movies! What the fuck are we doing here?"

"R-Relax, Maurice," Tony commanded. "We just need to get that fight dog from Greg's guy and we'll vamoose!" After a brief pause, he turned to Greg. "Your guy is here, right Greg?"

"For the last time, yes!" Greg replied in an annoyed tone. "Now come on, you two! Grow a pair already! We're almost there!"

The trio continued their journey toward the middle of the docks. As they walked, they passed by stores specializing in all sorts of merchandise, from canned lobster to cinder blocks with pretied rope on them. All of them were empty and lifeless in the dead of night and the fact that most of them would not change come the morning served to deepen the aura of madness surrounding them. The waves crashed gently against the pillars holding up the dock, sounding far too much like approaching footsteps with each passing minute.

"Here!" Greg whispered as he turned and stopped before a particularly desolate store. It was a shabby old thing that had clearly been abandoned long before the McCallister incident. The cartoon parrot on the wall was saying something in a speech bubble but the acidity of the sea air, combined with Father Time, had eaten away too much of the wood to make out what it was. Maurice noticed a spider web hanging from the right corner of the store's rooftop and shivered as he realized there was at least two fish caught in it.

He almost jumped out of his skin when one of the fish suddenly flailed.

"Wait here and don't say anything!" Greg whispered as he approached the door. He knocked in a certain rhythm, almost like to the beat of a song. He stepped back once he was finished and after a few moments, the door cracked open slightly, creating just enough of a view for a pair of glaring eyes to greet the boys.

"These your guys?" The voice asked.

"Yeah, Tony and Maurice." Greg said. "They're cool. I swear."

The man, who sounded a lot older than these boys, stared at them for several seconds, sizing them up. Both Maurice and Tony simply froze up, too scared to even breathe. After a few more seconds, the man spoke to Greg again. "And you're absolutely sure you weren't followed?"

"Scout's honor!" Greg replied with a scout's salute.

The man murmured to himself and opened the door all the way, revealing himself to be a older man with greying-black curly hair. "Alright, but if anyone did follow ya, you're all getting whacked."

"Whacked?" Tony gulped.

"Oh shit...is this the fucking Mafia?"

"Guys, come on!" Greg ushered for them to go inside. Not wanting to incur the wrath of the older man watching them from the dark, both Tony and Maurice forced themselves to walk inside. "Son of a bitch, man! I think we got mixed up in the Mafia!"

"Dude, shut up!" Tony whispered. "You wanna die?"

"Dammit Greg, if we end up getting whacked, I swear my ghost is kicking your ghost's ass."

Once inside, the trio were led by the man into the heart of the room. The door was closed and, after a few moments lost in the everlasting maw of darkness, the boys shielded their eyes as the lights came back on, a feat they figured would be impossible for a building this ancient.

"Now you three wait here and don't touch anything." The man warned. "Seriously, this place like, a sneeze away from falling into the ocean." The man left the room through a back door, leaving the boys standing before a long-empty stage.

"So...I guess they used to do shows here," Tony spoke up.

"You think they did any nude performances?" Greg asked. "With girls!?"

"Man, get your mind out of the gutter!" Maurice scolded. "We bout to die!"

"Nobody's gonna die, Maurice." Tony assured his friend. "Not as long as we show the proper respect and get this thing rolling quickly."

"Sounds like a plan," Maurice agreed. "And a damn good one too."

"Yeah...like that chick in Forrest Grump, playing the guitar all naked and shit."

"Greg, I'm about to pop a cap in your-"

The stage curtains pulled back, revealing the man from before, only now he had a pistol in his hand. "Who's popping a cap in whose what?"

"Uh...n-nothing sir!" Maurice surrendered. "No caps! No caps!"

Tony and Greg froze up as well as their eyes trained on the gun in the man's hand.

The man nodded and snapped his fingers. "Alright, Moe! Let's get out the merchandise!"

From backstage, a even older man with an eyepatch over his left eye and a metal prosthetic replacing his right hand walked into the light, pulling something heavy behind him with a long but frayed rope.

"Gah! My back!" Moe whined. "Why do I have to be the merchandise pulling guy?"

"Because Legs broke his legs at the dog track now get pulling!" Louie shouted.

Moe grunted with each step he took toward the boys. From the shadows emerged a large wooden box and from this box came horrible growls.

"Is that...the dog?" Greg asked.

"It's a dog," Louie said. "And the meanest you're ever gonna see!"

Moe gasped as he finally pulled the box completely into the light of the stage. He hardly got a moment to catch his breath, however, as Louie grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him toward the growling box. On top of the box was a catch pole not unlike an exterminator would use, only far more longer and blacker. Louie took the pole and handed it to Moe who gulped as he fixed himself into position besides the box, holding the end of the pole in front of the box's door.

"Okay...mostly ready!"

Louie grabbed a string attached to the door on the side of the box and pulled, lifting it upward. Before the door had even fully opened, a grey blur of snarling teeth broke through and rushed toward the boys. It would have jumped off of the stage and sank its teeth into their flesh if it weren't for Moe wrapping the catch pole around its neck and pulling with all his might. Louie let go of the string and helped Moe in pulling back the savage animal as it reared on its hind legs and snarled.

"No way..." Tony gasped.

"Is that..." Greg trailed off.

"That's...That's a motherfucking wolf!" Maurice completed his sentence.

"Correction. An Alaskan Timber Wolf." Another voice spoke from the darkness. Even with the wolf growling and snapping, each and every footstep Fat Tony took as he made his way to the stage could be heard by everyone in the store. A fat cigar was between his fingers and he helped himself to another puff before continuing. "The finest money can buy."

"W-Wait...I think there was a mix-up," Greg chuckled nervously. "W-We wanted a dog! Not a wolf! You know, l-like a German Shepard or something..."

"There is no mix up," Fat Tony said. "You boys wanted a fight dog that could make you champions at this Friday's...event." Fat Tony chuckled. "Now I ask you, what common dog, German or otherwise, can possibly compete with this ferocious beast right here!?"

As he said this, the wolf suddenly lunged at Fat Tony, snapping its jaws at him and getting its spittle on his jacket. Annoyed, Fat Tony rammed his cigar into the wolf's ear, earing a whine of pain as the creature backed down. Fat Tony glared at the hurting wolf for a few moments more before chuckling to himself and taking another puff. "As you can see, the wolf has been properly trained for your convivence and is all ready for the big night."

The boys looked at each other nervously.

"I can tell exactly what's on your mind boys," Fat Tony continued. "But Fat Tony, how, oh just how are we supposed to afford this surefire ticket to victory? After all, it must surely cost a pretty penny." Fat Tony snickered as he came down from his bad acting. "$500"

"W-What?" Tony asked.

"$500. That is all I ask for the wolf. "Fat Tony repeated.

"500 bucks...for the wolf?" Tony ask. "B...But why?"

"Tony!" Greg said. "Don't be asking questions that might get a bullet in your chest!

"It's quite alright," Fat Tony broke in. "After all, it is only natural for the customer to want to ensure the quality of the merchandise he is purchasing." He tapped a bit of loose ash from his cigar and paced away from the wolf. "The simple fact of the matter is, as the head of the Springfield Mafia, I'm not too keen on any criminal enterprises happening on my turf without my direct involvement. Much like the Shrek-verse version of Jack Horner, I must have my finger in every pie."

"...What?" Maurice asked, flinching as Louie suddenly got up in his face.

"He means this whole town's a bakery and no one makes any cakes without him getting a slice! You use our wolf in the dog fights tomorrow night and we get 75% of your total winnings!"

"7-75%!?" Greg gasped. "B-But that's like...more than half, man!"

"Split between the three of us, there's hardly be any left for me to take Eli to Krustyland, let alone move out of the slums!" Maurice complained.

"Oh...do I detect the sound of dissatisfaction?" Fat Tony asked. "Then perhaps you would like a word with our complaint department." He gestured to his right.

"...Who, me?" Moe asked. "I mean come on, Fat Tony, I'm already dragging around these animals for you. Now I gotta hear people bitch and moan? Why don't you-"

Fat Tony cleared his throat as he pointed to the wolf.

"Oh...Oh! You mean the wolf!" Moe chuckled nervously. "Oh yeah...that...that makes a lot more sense."

The wolf snarled at the boys once again, nearly causing all three of them to wet themselves.

"You may now talk amongst yourselves," Fat Tony granted. "I give you...three minutes.

The boys huddle together at once.

"Man, we can't go through with this!" Maurice whispered. "This is nuts!"

"What's the big deal, man?" Greg asked. "I told you I could get us a dog and we got one."

"You promised a dog," Maurice interrupted. "Not Balto's crackhead cousin! How the fuck are we supposed to get that thing from and back in its cage without getting eaten huh?"

"You saw the way that thing flinched when Fat Tony burned it with the cigar!" Greg argued. "It might be a wolf but it's still trained. We can work with this! Come on, man! Don't you wanna be rich?"

"Rich!? Rich!? Motherfucker, did you not hear that man say they want 75%? 75! We'd be lucky if we could even buy bad weed with what we'd have left over and it sure as hell won't be enough to get my little bro out of here which, I don't know if you remember, was sorta of the whole POINT of me hanging with you stupid ass motherfuckers!"

"Why you-"

"Shut it, both of you!" Tony suddenly spoke up, sounding far more serious than he had all night. There was a certain glint in his eyes and they seemed far more focused. "We're taking the wolf."

"What!?" Maurice shouted. "But Tony-"

"75% means 75% of whatever we manage to make in these fights," Tony interrupted. "And I know that sounds like the raw-end of the deal but Maurice, with a fucking wolf fighting for us, we'll win every time! Do you have any idea how much money we'll make by the end of the night? Even with the pay cut, you'll still have enough left over to move your brother out of here!"

"But..."

"Guys, we are looking at the opportunity of a fucking lifetime here! We can't possibly lose!" Tony shouted.

"He's right, Maurice." Greg agreed. "Any way you slice it, it's a good deal! Through and through!"

Maurice's mind raced. No matter what his friends said, he wanted nothing to do with this. All he wanted was a fight dog for Friday night, not a fucking wolf that came with a lease from the Springfield Mafia. But, as he struggled to find some way to weasel out of it, he thought of his little brother. He thought about how much better things could be for him in Capital City, how he would be safer from the dangers on the street. If only he could afford to give that life to his little brother.

The opportunity for that was standing but a few feet away from him, growling and snarling like a hellhound. He knew he had no choice, especially with the Mafia involved.

"Alright, guys. You win."

"Maurice, my man!" Tony patted Maurice hard on the shoulder before walking past him. "Fat Tony, we've come to a decision! We've agreed to accept your proposal!"

Fat Tony took a brief puff of his cigar before replying. "Excellent! I promise you won't be disappointed, my young friends. Now come, Louie will show you the ropes on how to handle ol Fenrir here..."

---

Jessica wasn't sure how long she had been staring at the stars from the treehouse window. It could have been a single minute or it could have been a whole hour and a half. All she knew was that they looked spectacular tonight, the rolling clouds of radioactive dust that usually covered them up having been blown away by a powerful wind. The crescent moon hung in the sky like a empress of the night, the stars her many servants. Every so often, a light breeze would blow through the window, flowing through Jessica's hair and sending a welcome chill throughout her body.

So enraptured by the moon's glow was Jessica that she nearly jumped out of her skin when the heard Bart's voice call up from beneath the treehouse.

"Gah!" She took a moment to let her heart return to its normal range of beating as Bart entered the treehouse. "What the hell, Bart?" Jessica snapped. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry," Bart replied nonchalantly as he set down a steaming bowl in front of her. It was covered with a small plastic tarp. "I just thought you might like some stew."

"Oh.." Jessica turned herself and carefully lifted the bowl. She slowly pulled the tarp away and let the steam escape into the night air. Inside the bowl was a thick stew of beef, vegetables and orange broth. Bart reached into his pocket and handed Jessica a spoon. She crossed her legs, got a spoonful of the stew and blew on it.

"Come on, Bart." The eldest Simpson child thought as he watched her eat the stew. "Make conversation!"

"So...how was your day?" He asked.

"D'oh!"

"I mean...I pretty much stayed in the treehouse all day. I did take a little beauty nap after you left but that was about it."

"That's cool...that's cool...Any dreams?"

"Only a crappy one about your sister, actually." Jessica groaned. "I swear I could heard her voice in my sleep."

"Yeah. Lisa's voice as a way of nagging itself into your brain. In fact, one ti-"

"Bart,"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"...Why are you trying so hard to force a conversation?"

Bart froze then chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his head. "It..It's that obvious huh?"

Jessica nodded.

"I'm sorry...I'm just...I don't really have a lot of girls over and I know we're supposed to talk and stuff but I just don't know what to say."

"We don't have to talk," Jessica slurped up more of the stew. "You can just sit with me for a while."

"R-Really?"

"One good thing I learned from that stupid camp was to make due with less." Jessica continued. "Trust me, it'll be enough attention for me."

"Okey-Dokey!" Bart scooched over next to Jessica who turned herself back toward the window. Both young adults watched the moon shine her light through the open window, painting a pal blue spot within an otherwise completely dark treehouse.

"The Moon's beautiful tonight." Jessica commented.

"Yeah..." Bart agreed. "It sure is..."

(This next chapter will wrap this arc up, I promise you. And I'm going to be a lot more careful about planning my stories beforehand. As I mentioned before, I may have to give this story a small break in the future in order to better think out this season.

With not much else to say, I'll cap off this AN by mentioning that there's now a spinoff-one shot called Samhain out now. It's a Halloween special and I hope it'll be the first of many. If you enjoyed reading this story, I'd recommend checking out the one-shot as well.

See ya!

P.S: Gonna starting thinking of a proper greeting and farewell for my ANs.)