Chapter Two: The Cave

Moe paced back and forth through the pre-dawn gloom. Occasionally, he would glance back toward the city gate, then toward the ever lightening eastern sky, then he would continue his irate trudging. The horses he had procured would snort and nicker fitfully when he approached. Yet, still he paced.

What was taking that yellow haired twerp so long? Moe had made it clear that he shouldn't be late, hadn't he? The treasure was sooo close, everything Moe had ever longed for was practically in reach, yet here he was waiting for some smart-mouthed pipsqueak to get his act together and show up.

Moe forced himself to take a deep breath - he had never been good at the whole patience thing. How much longer would he have to wait for his desires to be fulfilled?

For as long as he could remember, Moe had been told he would never amount to anything - that all he would ever be good for was lugging heavy objects around. He had heard those words from his father, his mother and especially the old scholar they had foisted him off to. He let out a growl as he recalled the years spent under the old mans belittling gaze, hauling crates full of scrolls and tomes around, suffering dismissive criticisms every step of the way. Funny that it was the old scholars own research that would ultimately lead Moe to his destiny. Although, Moe glumly thought, he probably should have let the old man discover more of the cave's secrets before killing him. Sure, he had learned the cave's general location, but every step closer to his treasure brought more obstacles to overcome.

And that brought him back to his current frustration. He now knew exactly where the cave was and had a patsy to run whatever gauntlet was inside… if only the twerp would just show up!

Finally, Moe heard the scurrying of feet in the direction of the city gate. He turned to see little runt running toward where he stood.

"Took yer sweet time gettin' here." Moe grumbled.

"Hey, I made it before your deadline!" Calvin countered.

Moe glanced toward the eastern sky. "Yeah, barely." He turned and strode to the post where the waiting horses were bound. After untying them, he led one over to Calvin, saying "Mount up. Let's go."

Calvin climbed onto his mount then looked about, saying "I, uh, can't help but notice that there's only two horses."

"Yeah, one fer me'n one fer you!" Moe answered, turning his horse about. "Now, quit yammerin' an' ride!"

Calvin kicked his mount into action. As they rode out, he said "It's just… shouldn't there be at least three horses? Y'know, to actually carry the treasure out?"

Moe looked at Calvin with that broad, toothy grin again. "Don' worry 'bout it. We got all the space we need."

Calvin narrowed his eyes. The way Moe had said that put him a little on edge.

They rode throughout the entire morning. Onward they pressed, through the rising heat and biting winds. They urged their haggard mounts through an endless expanse of dust and rock. It was just after midday when Moe suddenly pointed into the distance. Calvin looked and saw a great, sloping mound of rock rising out of the dunes. And right in the middle of that mound sat a large black spot - the cave.

The two men dismounted at the foot of the mound and made the hazardous trek to the cave's mouth on foot. Calvin reached the opening and looked within; what he saw was and almost straight drop several feet down into a black abyss. He let out an astounded whistle. "Mind your step." he dryly advised.

Moe looked down the hole with an annoyed grunt. Taking out a rope, he secured one end to a nearby boulder then tossed the remaining length down into the depths. "Awright, down ya go!" he grumbled to Calvin.

Nodding grimly, Calvin took hold of the rope and made his descent into the cave. After a moment, he popped back up, saying "Say, uh, just how long were you planning on waiting for me to get back?"

"Long as it takes." Moe growled, arms crossed.

Calvin shrugged. "Just sayin', I could die down here, and you'd have no way of even knowing."

"Let me worry 'bout that!" Moe replied. "Now, get goin'!"

And with that settled, Calvin scurried down the rope - down, down, down into the bowels of the earth. It was when the opening of the cave had shrunk to a spot of light no bigger than his outstretched hand that Calvin finally reached the bottom. Calling up with all his might, Calvin yelled. "HEY! It's dark as night down here! Toss me a torch, will ya!" There was a muffled sound of movement, and suddenly, a speck of light appeared - growing bigger by the second. Calvin had to hurriedly jump aside as the lit torch clattered to ground, sending out sparks as it landed. He shot a rueful glare toward the cave's mouth as he picked the torch up.

Calvin reached around to pat his back, ensuring that the sack was still in place. Before he had left that morning, Calvin had stashed a small sack under his sash behind his back, which was then covered by his overcoat. The plan was to stuff the sack full with as much treasure as would fit and then hide it again in like manner. It wasn't that he didn't trust Moe, it was just… actually, no, that summed it up quite nicely.

As Calvin turned about to head deeper into the cave, his torch illuminated something that nearly gave him a heart attack. There, slumped against the far wall, lay a human skeleton. Its limbs lay sprawled out, its back propped up against the wall. Its cloths were little more than shredded rags. Its head drooped against its chest, the empty eye sockets staring blankly into Calvin's own.

Calvin stared at the macabre sight as he waited for his heart rate and breathing to return to normal. "... I'm sure that's not a bad omen." he said with chattering teeth. He gulped as he turned to head into the deep, dark unknown.

The torchlight danced along the tunnel walls as Calvin crept along. As he walked, Calvin couldn't help but notice that the walls seemed awfully straight. Running his hand along the surface, he noticed they were awfully smooth as well. Come to think of it, the first room had also been unusually smooth. The cave entrance had also struck Calvin as peculiar. Granted, he hadn't been inside many caves, but it still seemed odd to him that a cave's mouth would drop straight down rather than a gradual incline. Musing on this, Calvin reached the conclusion that this was not a natural cave; someone must have carved it out. That, in turn, brought forth a slew of new questions - who would do such a thing? How was it accomplished? And for what purpose?

As Calvin pondered these ideas, the tunnel opened into a large chamber. The edged of the room were squared off, straight as and arrow, giving Calvin further confidence that this was a man made structure, rather than a natural occurrence.

When he stepped into the room, a light suddenly flared overhead. Startled, Calvin looked up to see a set of lanterns hanging from the ceiling. Perplexed, he stared up at the lanterns. How had they lighted by themselves? Could it be that someone was watching him? Even so, how could they have pulled it off? There was no one in the room with him, so how could the lanterns be lit from a distance?

Well, there would be time to puzzle that out later. With the light from those lanterns, Calvin could plainly see the first obstacle that lay before him. A pit about fifteen feet wide and twenty feet deep stretched before him. There did not appear to be any stairs or ladder leading into or out of the pit. The only way across was a narrow beam stretching over the chasm.

"Alright, looks simple enough." Calvin thought aloud as he looked it over. "No problem at all for Calvin the Bold!" Thinking for a moment, he added "Treasure Hunter Extraordinaire!" Deciding he liked the sound of that, Calvin stepped onto the beam.

The moment he set both feet on the beam, there was a sudden whoosh! In an instant, the pit was filled with great, roaring flames, hungrily licking at Calvin's feet, just waiting for him to slip.

Calvin gulped. "Okay,... this might be a bit of a problem…"

Inch by inch, Calvin very carefully made his way across the beam. Battling the oppressive heat, sweat pouring down his face, Calvin persevered through the ordeal. "A kings ransom of king's ransoms." he repeated to himself. "A king's ransom of king's ransoms…"

After what felt like hours, Calvin finally reached the other side, where a new tunnel gaped before him. Turning around to face the trap he had just bested, Calvin let out an exultant whoop. "In your FACE, trap! Yeah, you ain't so tough!" He whirled around to proceed with his task when he felt a sudden warmth near his leg. When he had turned to taunt the flames, his overcoat swung out a little too far, and now, a little fire was quickly growing over the fabric.

Screaming in a most undignified way, Calvin scrambled to get his overcoat off and furiously stomped the fire out with his foot. Breathing heavily, he inspected the garment to ensure the fire was well and truly out. Finding the flame to be completely snuffed, he donned the coat once more. Then, with a heavy thumping in his heart and the scent of smoke in his nostrils, Calvin pressed on into the next tunnel.

The tunnel opened to a long corridor. More hanging lanterns flared to life as Calvin entered. Through the lanterns glow, Calvin could see that the floor of the corridor was covered wall to wall with large tiles. He looked around, but couldn't see any sort of trap or obstacle. So with a shrug, he pressed forward.

The moment he set foot on one of the tiles, it gave out from under him. Calvin flailed back so hard he ended up toppling over. He crawled to the space the tile once occupied and looked down to see a pit so deep the lanterns light couldn't reach it.

Climbing back to his feet, Calvin looked the tiles over and found that each one had an image painted on it - a leopard, a jackal, a camel and a falcon. These four images repeated in a random order all the way down the corridor. "Okaaay,... there's gotta be some way to cross, here." Calvin thought aloud. "The pictures probably hold the answer. Let's see, what do they all have in common?... They're all animals, but what good does that that do me?... Okay then, so what do they not have in common?... who's the odd one out?..." Calvin puzzled on that for a spell before deciding "Of COURSE! The camel is the only herbivore in a group full of predators!"

Calvin went to step on the nearest tile depicting a camel, when he abruptly stopped himself. "... On the other hand… the falcon is the only bird in a group full of mammals…" So there he stood, with two possible options - neither of which seemed any more likely than the other. If only he could get into the mindset of whoever built this place; Which option would they have chosen?

After pondering for a bit longer, Calvin decided if there was an equal chance of either one being right, the only way to find out would be to test them. So he set his foot on the closest tile bearing the image of a falcon - it immediately shattered. Satisfied that he knew the way forward, Calvin stepped onto the tile depicting a camel - it, too, shattered. Screaming like a man possessed, Calvin leapt from one tile to another - all of which crumbled beneath his feet. Until, at last, he found himself standing on something solid.

Calvin glanced down to get a look at the image beneath his feet. It turned out the correct answer was "The LEOPARD?!" he screamed in frustration. "What sense does THAT make?!" He continued down the corridor, stepping only on tiles bearing leopards - each of which held firm beneath him. Once across, he turned back at the tiles, seething furiously "I mean, HOW is anyone supposed to figure that OUT?! There's nothing about the leopard that differentiates it from the others! It just doesn't make sense!"

And so Calvin continued on through the cave, grumbling and muttering about the apparent nonsense of the previous trial all the way. He was so fixated on the issue that he didn't even notice the poisonous darts shooting all around him.

Moe reclined against the rocky knoll, hidden in the shadow cast by a large boulder. How long had it been since the twerp had gone down? Judging by the sun's position, it must have been a few hours, at least. He leaned back with a huff; by the infernal flames, this was boring! He thought back on what the twerp had said before going down, had he gotten himself killed? Moe had resolved to wait through the night at the very least, but he wished he could know if he was just wasting time at this point.

Hearing a rustling down the way, Moe looked and spotted a little jackal stalking about the rocks, probably tracking prey of some sort. With a perverse grin, Moe grabbed a nearby rock and chucked it at the little beast. The jackal yelped as the rock landed square in its haunch. It then turned and darted away quick as a flash.

Moe gave a grim chuckle. Well, that had been amusing. Yet already the entertainment was quickly fading away. He leaned back against the boulder, resigned to the long day of boredom ahead of him. "That runt better not be slackin' off, down there."

Calvin jerked his body back as a sharpened pole shot out of the floor mere inches in front of his face. He made a quick step to the side, but another pole shot out at him. He took another step and was nearly skewered again. Another step and another spike to dodge. Every step he took in this room had caused another spike to shoot up from beneath him - from in front, from the left, from the right, from behind, without any discernible pattern. He dashed and darted about in an erratic dance as the floor repeatedly tried to skewer him.

Eventually, he somehow managed to make it to the safety of the far side of the room. And the floor became perfectly still.

Calvin took a generous moment to catch his breath. He was of the opinion that this room had been the worst so far. Worse than the room where he had to jump from platform to platform over a pit full of spikes, because he could at least take his time and carefully plan his movements. Worse than the room with the swinging axes, because they at least had a predictable rhythm to them. And even worse than the room where the very walls had tried to flatten him, because that had been a simple matter of getting to the other side fast enough.

In time, Calvin managed to pull himself to his feet and exited the chamber - his clothes considerably more tattered than when he had entered. As he made his way down the tunnel, he wondered if it would be worth the risk of asking Moe for a higher percentage of the treasure.

Hanging lanterns lit as Calvin entered the next chamber. "Sheesh, another pit?!" he groaned when he saw what lay before him. Indeed, the room contained another pit - the biggest yet. Forty feet wide, sixty feet long and twenty feet deep. In the far wall, Calvin could make out a line of carved out indentions - forming a ladder of sorts. The bottom was filled with sand and a scattering of large rocks.

Calvin looked around and found a series of carved indentation leading down into the pit. It seemed straight forward enough, but then, plenty of things in this cave had seemed simple, yet concealed terrible dangers. These thoughts occupied Calvin's mind as he made his decent into the pit. The question was, what sort of dangers would be hidden in this seemingly innocuous hole? Swinging blades? Falling spikes? A collapsing floor, perhaps?

As Calvin neared the base of the chasm, he happened to glance down - and what he saw sent him scampering back up the ladder with a terrified shriek. A monstrous head lay resting in the sand, practically at the very base of the ladder. Calvin didn't know what the head belonged to, and wasn't too keen to find out.

But,... as he climbed, Calvin realized he couldn't hear the sound of any pursuit. No growling or clawing, no bashing against the wall,... nothing. Deciding to risk a look down, Calvin saw the head, plain as day. He saw the long, pointed snout, the mouth full of sharp, serrated teeth, the head bedecked with gruesome horns… But looking at it more carefully, Calvin had to admit, it looked an awful lot like a skull. Widening his gaze, Calvin saw the rest of the creature's body - a long, curving neck, a barrel-like ribcage, thick, hearty arms and legs ending in hook-like talons and a long tail snaking out from the back.

It was all bleached bones - not a scrap of flesh to be seen.

Calvin let out a neurotic little laugh. It started out as a stuttering chuckle, then grew into an unhinged, shrieking cackle. Imagine, all that worry over a mere skeleton!

Calvin slipped back down into the chasm. And there he took a good long look at the bones before him. It hadn't been an enormous creature, only a little bigger than a camel. Strange, Calvin had thought dragons were supposed to huge. (Calvin had never seen a dragon in person, but he had heard enough descriptions that he couldn't think of anything else it could be.) Well,... maybe it hadn't been fully grown…

Looking at the dead beast now, Calvin felt a twinge of sympathy for it. How did it come to this sorry state? Had whoever made this cave brought it here to guard the treasure, and then just left it to starve? Maybe it was a wild dragon that found its way into the pit then couldn't climb out again. Well, whatever the case, it didn't look like it had suffered when it died. In fact, it looked like it had simply hunkered down for a nap.

Oh well, Calvin could speculate all he wanted later. Right now, he had a treasure to find.

With a refurbished determination, Calvin set off to cross the sandy pit. He made it about halfway through when a sudden sound caught his attention. It was a clattering sound, like a mound of loose rocks sliding over each other. Calvin turned around and gaped. The skeleton was rising to its feet. The monster turned to face the intruder, its once empty eye sockets now burned with hideous greenish-yellow flames.

Calvin stared down the skelton as it stared back at him. "Ooo-ooo-ooohhh MAMA."

And then the bony behemoth pounced. With no muscle or skin to weigh the bones down, it closed the distance between them with panic-inducing speed. Calvin ducked and rolled mere seconds before a taloned paw swiped through the air right where his head had just been. Rolling to his feet, Calvin rushed back the way the skeleton had come, but the bones nimbly turned in pursuit. Calvin grabbed one of the rocks laying about and hurled it toward the dragon. The stone hit one of the monsters arms, shattering it to the floor in a heap.

"HA! How d'ya like them apples?!" he crowed, triumphantly.

The bones then slid through the sand, reassembling into a functioning arm

"... Oh, come ON!" Calvin griped.

Heedless of the complaint, the skeletal dragon charged right toward him. In a move that was equal parts daring and foolhardy, Calvin rolled under the dragon as it charged. And while it spared him from the dragons claws, Calvin had forgotten about the tail, which slammed into him, sending him rolling across the sand until he crashed into the wall.

Calvin coughed up blood as he pulled himself to his feet. When he turned to look, he saw the skeleton charging at him once more. In desperation, Calvin flung himself to the side, just before the skeleton crashed into the wall where he had been standing. The bones clattered as they fell to the ground. Calvin gawked as the bones slid together, reforming the monster.

Glancing down, Calvin spotted the skull being pulled through the sand by some invisible force toward the convulsing mass of bones. Acting on pure instinct, Calvin grabbed the skull, trying hard to keep its gnashing teeth away from his body and threw it across the pit with all his might. He then raced after it, grabbing a rock as he went. When he reached the skull, he hefted the rock high and slammed it down right into the skulls flaming eye socket. He then lifted the rock and brought it down into the other eye socket. He smashed the the rock into the skull again and again and again - until the skull had a gaping hole where its forehead had once been.

Calvin turned around and screamed when he saw the headless skelton rising before him, forepaws ready to strike. But then, it fell. Calvin hunkered down as the monstrous bones fell all around him - never to move again.

Haggard, bloody and exhausted, Calvin made his weary climb out of the pit. Once at the top, he collapsed, his breathing strained and heaving. He lay there for several minutes as his body recuperated from the ordeal. As he lay there, Calvin couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe this whole adventuring thing might not be worth the trouble.

The next chamber Calvin entered was small and square with a high ceiling. Directly across from him, a tall, semicircular platform protruded from the wall with carved steps leading to the top. Calvin looked around the room, but there was nothing to see - no doors, no mechanisms, just straight, flat walls.

"This… this can't be the end of the line! Can it?!" he groused, incredulously. "There was supposed to be a king's ransom of kings ransoms! Where're the mountains of gold and jewels?! Don't tell me I did all that back breaking work for NOTHING!"

Calvin morosely glared at the steps leading to the top of the platform. From this angle, he couldn't see what was on top of it, but after everything he had just gone through, the last thing he wanted was more climbing. But,... maybe there was something important at the top - a lever or a puzzle; one last test before the treasure was revealed. Yeah, that must be it!... That better be it! At any rate, it would be a shame to have come all this way, facing death a hundred times over, without thoroughly checking every last nook and cranny.

So, Calvin slowly, wearily made his way up the stairs. His feet felt like iron as he hauled them up each step. His lungs felt like he was breathing through smoke. At long last, Calvin made it to the top of the platform. And the only thing there was a pedestal.

And sitting on that pedestal, was a simple brass oil lamp.

Upon seeing the lamp, Calvin ever-so-slowly tilted his head up toward the ceiling. He then shouted "What kind of sick joke IS THIS?!"