M4A1 struggled to keep her balance as another explosion rocked the corridor. Sirens continue to blare loudly, an unsettling wail that rocked her very being. It was a noise she hoped she would never have to hear, but now there was no escaping it - they were under attack.
The stench of blood and lingering gunpowder filled the air around her as she frantically raced through the darkened corridors of the Elmo, but no matter how fast she ran, she could never catch up to the sounds of battle in the distance. Sporadic gunfire and the panicked shouting of her sisters echoed constantly from down the seemingly endless corridor.
She clung desperately to the hope that she wasn't too late, turning corner, after corner, after corner, expecting to catch up to her companions at each junction she came across, only to be met with the oppressive emptiness and the unsettling sight of bloodstains and spent casings. She wouldn't be able to tell you how long she had been running, or even where she was at this point, all she could do was push every creeping doubt out of her head and charge onwards, doing her best not to think about what she might find...
Finally, she was met with a doorway. She brushed aside the realization that she had never seen this area of the Elmo before despite intricately memorizing its layout in case of emergency, and ripped the handle open...
The sight she was greeted with, however, extinguished any hope she held onto. The sounds of the blaring siren faded out to a dull ringing, her head suddenly felt weightless as a cold fire swept through her veins.
RO, SOP-II, AR-15, M16, and the Commander sat slumped against the wall, only recognizable by their clothing, their heads turned to a bloody pulp, their hands bound behind their backs...
In front of them, a lone woman. Long, snow-white hair draped over a white overcoat, black fur lining the collar. The woman turned to face the doll, her deep blue eyes boring into her soul as they met hers.
M4 recognized her immediately, the horrified despair surging through her body amplified. "H-How..."
She could only stammer out the first word, but it didn't matter, the answer wouldn't change anything. She didn't need to ask anything else. She knew who she was, she knew why had done it - why this was happening...And she knew that it was her own fault.
M4 felt her legs give from under her, she fell to her knees, her rifle clattering to the floor as her legs gave from under her.
The woman said nothing as she continued to stare at her.
"...I just wanted to save them...Or even just...To see them again...To be able to say goodbye this time..." M4 uttered helplessly, her voice little but a whisper.
The woman's expression didn't change, there wasn't a hint of neither remorse or sympathy in her eyes, nothing but cold judgment. She encroached upon the kneeling doll, raising her rifle and resting the muzzle against M4's forehead.
M4 closed her eyes, letting out a deep exhale. Opening them back up, she raised her head to stare her executioner in the eyes. "...Just finish it."
BANG
M4's eyes shot open as she lurched upwards on her cot, panting heavily as she ran a hand up to touch her forehead. Her coolant pump pounded against her ribcage as her eyes darted around her empty room.
A nightmare.
"Warning: Core temperature elevated" A notification blared on her HUD.
Throwing off the covers, she pulled her legs in, hugging her knees to her chest as she buried her face between them.
"Damn it...God damn it..."
She made her way to the washroom. Her hands trembled as she turned on the faucet, before splashing the cold water onto her face
"Come on...it was just a dream...what's done is done...what's done is done..." She uttered shakily.
She took a series of slow, deep breaths, leaning against the sink as she turned her gaze to her messy, disheveled reflection in the mirror.
Her breathing began to steady, her coolant pump began to slow back to normal, although her hand continued to quake as it switched off the faucet.
Another deep breath "That's it...pull it together, M4..."
Sleep was off the table for the time being, she decided to go for a walk.
Exiting her room, she began to wander aimlessly down the Elmo's halls. Soft traces of moonlight shined through the observation ports as she sauntered along in an attempt to clear her head.
"I didn't think you of all people would be put on night-watch." A voice caught her attention from her peripherals.
M4 turned to the source, finding AK-12 leaned near a nearby window.
"Just out for a walk..." M4 replied.
Even though her eyes were closed, M4 could feel 12's gaze examining her face.
"Not sleeping well, are we? I've seen that same look you have on Ange sometimes. I didn't think that was possible for a doll."
"What's it to you?" M4 dismissed defensively.
12 sighed. "I haven't been either, it's why I don't mind the night-watch...Have you been getting them too?"
"Getting what?"
"The...well, I guess the dreams."
"I thought ordinary dolls didn't dream..."
"I am no ordinary doll, M4." 12 dismissed.
"What do you see in them?" M4 asked as she stepped over to her, gazing out the window over the moonlit landscape.
"It's mostly a recurring one...it goes back to the Avernus." 12 began. "Ange did something stupid...Instead of coming with me when I tried to break her out, she told me everything was part of some plan she had...She let Paradeus turn her into one of those...things...And then I had to kill her."
M4's eyes drifted downwards. "And it's always the same one?"
12 nodded. "Every time. The exact same thing plays out, as if I'm reliving a memory...I usually forget the other dreams I have by the time I finish waking up...but this one stays with me...I guess I keep thinking about how else things could have gone back there."
"You care about Ange...You're scared of losing her."
12 nodded reluctantly. "I suppose so...and I almost did...If you and the Commander hadn't gotten captured when you did, and William didn't lose interest in her..." 12's hands silently balled into fists. "...Well, I'm glad that things played out the way that they did...Er, no offense."
"None taken." M4 waved off.
"And what about you? What is yours about?" 12 asked.
M4 silently gathered her thoughts. "Something is chasing after me...and then after I think I've gotten away from it, I realize that I've led it back to everybody else. Then it starts going after everyone except me, and I realize that it was after me because of something I did, and now it wants me to suffer for it..."
"If this is about Sector 11, Ange would have ripped that detonator out of your hands and touched that dirty bomb off herself if you didn't." 12 remarked matter-of-factly.
M4 merely exhaled in response.
A short silence passed before 12 spoke again. "You know...I understand now...How you felt back in Sector 11."
"Hm?" M4 turned to 12 inquisitively.
"Being locked in that place with Ange...hearing about the plans they had for her, what would have happened if I didn't save her...I get it, now."
"You wanted revenge."
12 nodded. "I kept thinking about how if I couldn't get her out of there, then I was going to make them pay...I probably wouldn't have gotten far in that body, but I was going to kill as many as I could before they took me down...I would have made it my mission to at least get to her."
"Do you regret that SOP-II got to RPK first?"
12 let out a deep breath. "Yeah..." Another silence followed, she seemed to hesitate. "...You know, Ange wanted to restore her backup."
"Did you talk her out of it?" M4 asked.
She shook her head slowly. "Before she had the chance, I went into the system myself, found where her backup files were being stored, and then...I killed her."
"You deleted her backup?..."
12 nodded once again. "I spoke to her before I did it...she had no memory of what she had done, of course, no understanding of why this was happening...But I still did it. I watched her disappear from the server byte by byte as I erased every single trace of her..." 12 let out a long sigh. "I murdered her."
"...Did you believe that she would still act the same even without her memories of Paradeus?"
12 hesitated again. "...For a while, that's what I told myself, that I wasn't going to take the chance with Ange on the line, but...the truth was, I was angry...I wanted to take it out on her, even if it that 'her' wasn't the same person that did it...And I'd be lying if I said that it didn't feel good in the moment."
"RPK betrayed your trust, hurt someone who is important to you."
12 exhaled. "...I've killed a lot of people, M4, but there was always a...distance, I suppose that's the word, from it. It was all part of my orders, part of my programming...but this one...This was the first time I've killed someone for my own reasons...I don't know how to feel about that."
"I'm in no position to judge." M4 remarked. "Does Ange know what you've done?"
Another sigh and a nod. "...We haven't been on speaking terms since. She hasn't talked to me unless it's to give me an order."
"Are you worried that she won't forgive you?"
"...Back when I had my first mission under her command, I killed twelve mercenaries on the job. She made me collect their tags and commit their names to my memory, told me that she wanted me to understand the weight of death...And now, I've disobeyed her to murder my own teammate in a fit of rage..."
"Statesec would have ordered you dismantled or factory reset for that...The fact that you're still here means that in the end, she chose to protect you."
"...Yeah." 12 uttered quietly. "And what about you? Are you holding back whatever it is you're holding back because of what the Commander might think?"
M4 quietly stared out the window. "I don't know..."
"He forgave you for setting off a dirty bomb almost on top of him. I don't think you have much to worry about."
M4 sighed. "Maybe I just...don't want to be forgiven..."
"Whatever it was that you did, would you do it again if you could go back to before?"
A short silence passed before M4 spoke again. "...Yes."
12 nodded in solidarity. "I would too...Whether Ange hates me or not, at least she's alive to hate me..."
"She's really more than a Commander to you, isn't she?..."
12 snorted "She's a self-righteous pain in the ass with a death-wish that makes me want to pull my hair out...But, I've never met anybody like her...I guess you could say that she's special."
"So...Even if you weren't bound by your programming, you would still follow her? You would still protect her?"
"With my life." 12 resolved. "Shaw would have a stroke if she could see me now...She hated Persica and everything she stood for...but here we are now, standing here like this."
"I guess you've defied even her at this point."
"...M4, I know I've given you a hard time in the past. I didn't like you and AR-15 at first, I thought you were too emotional, too impulsive, but...I guess we have more in common than I thought we did in the end."
"...Yeah."
12 turned to M4, extending out a hand. "Why don't we make all of that water under the bridge? We're on the same side, and we want the same things...For the people important to us."
M4 extended her hand, giving 12's a brief shake.
12 spoke again. "Once we get to Frankfurt, I'll be linking up with Ange again. I don't know if we'll cross paths again before that, so if that's the case, I'll see you in Frankfurt."
M4 nodded. "See you, 12."
Stepping away from the window, M4 quietly made her way back to her quarters. Slipping back into the room, she laid herself back down onto her cot.
There was still a lot of work that needed to be done tomorrow to prepare. Between planning, taking inventory, packing, she'd best get rested up. She didn't have to wait long before sleep found her once again.