Chapter 6 – Why can't i kiss him ???

Marinette POV:

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I am freaking the hell out.

Like, full-blown spiral. Mental collapse. Brain.exe not found.

Adrien Agreste. My boyfriend was just about to Kiss me.

I couldn't even speak properly when I went down to get the tray. Just stood there like a feral Victorian ghost mumbling, "Thanks," while internally screaming

And she was all gentle and wholesome like,

"There's more sweetie, Just call me when you need more"

Haha. Sure mom. Just gonna go back upstairs and die, thanks.

So yeah. I climbed those stairs like I was walking toward my own emotional funeral.

Because guess what? HE'S STILL IN MY ROOM.

Still sitting there on my chaise like he didn't almost end me emotionally five minutes ago.

Casual tee. Perfect Hair. Those eyes. Looking like a dream.

And me? I'm a malfunctioning potato.

I walk in like, "Dumplings!"

Like that's normal behavior.

He smiled at me. All soft.

I plopped down again, this time with the dumpling tray as a chaste little third wheel between us because I have zero spine and one hundred percent self-preservation instinct Or maybe I just needed a dumpling shield.

He picked one up and offered it to me with chopsticks and a grin that made me want to spontaneously melt.

"One bite for the perfect pronunciation?"

Sir. Please.

I laughed, trying not to die.

"Is that how tutoring works now?"

"Bribery always works." He winked.

HE WINKED.

My brain was not registering food. Or Mandarin.

No, I was mentally screaming but atleast this time I wasn't the one who screwed up

I rewinded to the first time.

After school, my balcony, quiet stars, Adrien doing his soft-smile-lean-in thing.

And me?

Full-blown panic mode.

I flinched so hard, I think I glitch-teleported emotionally back to kindergarten.

"Uh—ah—I—huh??"

YEAH. That's what I said with my eyes wide and glassy.

I don't know why but I got so overwhelmed.

He pulled back immediately.

"I'm so sorry! I thought—I didn't mean to—are you okay—Marinette, seriously, I'm so sorry—"

And then for THREE WEEKS he avoided being alone with me.

Three. Weeks.

Every hangout = group setting.

Alya. Nino. Alya's COUSIN at one point??

And I get it. He's being respectful.

But inside I was like, "Dude, I just panicked. I didn't mean to friendzone you into another dimension."

Because I want it.

The kiss. Him.

I just… got scared.

And yesterday?

Date night. Ice cream. Us.

Perfect moment. He gently held my hand. Our faces were close. I saw it in his eyes.

And then—

AKUMA.

Screaming. Running. Ladybug mode. RIP the entire vibe. RIP our perfect first kiss.

And today. We were finally close again. My heart was legit ready to just take the L and kiss him first.

Then my mom showed up with dumplings.

And now we're back to Mandarin. He's talking, teaching, being sweet. His lips are moving but I'm not hearing Mandarin.

His lashes are unfair. His hair is unfair. His voice is unfair. And his veiny arms, don't get me started on that. He's a walking thirst trap in boyfriend form and I am a weak mortal.

I almost said it. I almost leaned in.

"Hey, Adrien?"

"Yeah?"

Say it. Say it. Just ask if you want his lips on—

BZZZ-BZZZ.

He glanced at his phone and I already knew the dream was dead.

His face dropped just a bit.

"It's Nathalie."

Of course.

Nathalie. Queen of Timing.

"I have to head back," he said with a sheepish smile.

"Last-minute investors meeting. Sorry Marinette"

"No—no problem Adrien!" I chirped like a liar because I have a problem.

I want to spend more time with him but I can't whine and be desperate.

"Work's important!" I smiled.

I should win an Oscar.

He packed up. Jacket on. Gave me that soft smile again.

"Today was fun, I hope you learned something"

"Yes, Xièxiè (thanks) Adrien" I grinned flexing the words I learnt.

"Zhè shì yīgè wánměi de fǎ yīn wǒ de gōngzhǔ, gàn dé hǎo (that was one perfect pronunciation my princess, good job)" He talked some long paragraph in Mandarin and I only recognized hǎo which means good.

So he must mean my pronunciations are good.

"Okay I get it, you know more mandarin, Bye" I walked him to the door as he let out a chuckle.

I wish I had the courage to just grab him and kiss. But no. I Just stood there like a well-behaved Victorian maiden waving him bye.

I shut the door.

And then promptly melted down against it like a sad crepe.

WHY. IS. THIS. SO. HARD.

Everyone else is out here making out in elevators and behind school lockers like it's a sport.

And me?

I see my boyfriend's face and go into a cardiac arrest.

I love him.

I know I love him. He loves me.

I want to kiss him. With passion. With drama. With tongue like the french lovers we are

But the second we get close I panic like I'm disarming a bomb or someone interrupts.

Maybe next time I won't be all restless.

Maybe next time I'll actually do it.

No dumplings. No akumas. No glitching toaster brain.

Just kiss the boy.

…hopefully.

Author's note:

I actually wrote marinette panicking from my own experience with my crush.

My heart was beating fast, I remember the weird knots in my stomach (like the one you feel when you are on top of a building looking down kind of knots), my brain stopped. He stopped and apologized.

Anyway I hope you guys had a nice weekend.

Xoxo.