TW: mentions of SA. Although I tried to not get too graphic or in-depth, it's still there. If you are sensitive to that, skip the part that starts with "After we cleaned the dishes" and resume on the next scene break that starts with "The boys' curfew was midnight"

(Kate's POV)

"So… what are everyone's plans for tonight?" Evie asked. With her dark hair and grey eyes, the sly grin she wore made her look like she was up to no good, which was only true some of the time.

It was Valentine's Day, and Evie had stopped by the diner during her lunch period to chat with Rachel and me during our shift. The three of us had hung out together a couple times without the guys, including getting our nails done the day before. I loved the gang, but it was nice to spend time with girls again for a change, and I guessed Evie liked hanging out with Rachel and me too ever since Soda's ex-girlfriend Sandy left town, which left her without her best friend.

"Two-Bit's taking me to the Dingo," Rachel said excitedly. She was smiling so wide, even a stranger could tell how happy she was.

Even though Rachel and her ex-boyfriend, Caleb, dated on and off for a couple years, she never looked as happy with him as she was dating Two-Bit. They had only been going out for a couple weeks, but it was like they both found something they had been missing. Rachel was smiling and laughing more than she ever had when she was with Caleb, and it made me excited for my best friend. I was surprised that Two-Bit was the guy that got her to relinquish her biases against greasers, but he had a certain charm and humor that made her melt.

Just as much as Rachel liked Two-Bit, Two-Bit mirrored those feelings and he immediately made her a priority. He never looked in another girl's direction because he was already dating "the prettiest girl in all of Oklahoma" as he constantly told her, as well as anyone else that would listen. He wasn't wrong, Rachel had the blonde hair and blue eyes that most guys desired, and from what the gang told me, that was most certainly Two-Bit's type, but besides liking how she looked, he always seemed eager to have a real conversation with her. Rachel was smart, and while her former boyfriend tended to talk down to her, Two-Bit would openly admit he wasn't as smart as Rachel, so he'd be stupid to try to argue with her.

I never would've thought the night Two-Bit drove Rachel from Buck's to my apartment would be the start of their relationship.

"What about you, Kate?" Evie asked, pulling me out of my thoughts and back to the conversation. "Do you and Darry have any plans?"

"He's making me dinner at his place," I said with a smile.

Evie raised her eyebrows at me, like she was surprised. "Really? I would've thought a guy like him would insist on bringing you out to a fancy restaurant or something. The Curtis boys are all kinda old school, but Darry especially."

I shrugged. "He offered, but I told him I'd rather have a quiet night in." There was more to it than that, but I didn't feel like explaining it to anyone.

Darry had asked me about a week prior where I wanted to go out to eat for Valentine's Day, but when I told him I'd prefer to stay in, he looked confused and almost hurt. I didn't understand why he'd be upset with my answer until he said something about me not needing to worry about money. Then I understood.

"We both work so much, I think it would be nice and relaxing if we could stay in for the night, just the two of us," I had told him. Then I walked up to him, put my arms around his neck, and ran my fingers through his hair like I knew he loved. "And if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to eat something you make."

That's what got him to smile and agree.

"Is anyone else gonna be at the house?" Evie asked curiously.

I shook my head. "No, I think Soda's taking Pony and Johnny to the drive-in. I don't know what Dally's plans are, and I don't think I want to know either." That got both of the girls to laugh.

"So you and Darry are going to be alone in an empty house tonight?" Evie asked with a smirk. "Are you two planning on having a little fun?"

I felt myself freeze. That particular idea had plagued my mind since Darry and I made our Valentine's Day plans, which caused me to be on-edge for a whole week.

It was a normal thing for people our age to talk about, but I wasn't normal. What can I possibly say to that? I can't tell her why I'm a mess with that kind of stuff, especially not right here and right now. Evie didn't know why the subject was hard for me to talk about, but Rachel did, and she was quick to come to my rescue.

"We still haven't heard about your plans Evie," Rachel said. "What are you and Steve doing tonight?"

Evie was telling us what Steve had planned for her, but I couldn't focus. My own thoughts and worries were swirling around in my head, silencing the world around me.

What if Darry expects something to happen tonight? I like him, and we've been dating for a while, so I wouldn't be opposed to it, but shouldn't I tell him before things go too far? How do I even start that conversation? What if-

"Order up for table two," Johnny's voice snapped me back to the present.

"I got it," I said, excusing myself from my friends.

I walked up to the window on the side of the kitchen, grabbed the tray from the ledge, and offered a "thank you" to everyone in the kitchen. Before I turned to bring the food to the customer, I looked through the opening to glance at Johnny. The dark-haired teen was leaning forward on his crutches, chopping onions next to Captain, and smiling. It warmed my heart to see him happy, and it was even more exciting since he, Darry, and Connie all had an agreement about his employment. The teen was earning money and apparently having a good time doing it, which filled me with joy.

I quickly brought the food to table two, where a middle-aged woman thanked me, then I walked back to Rachel. Evie was nowhere in sight, but Rachel was quick to inform me that she had to get back to school.

"You alright?" Rachel asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said as casually as I could. I reached for the rag we kept under the counter so I could wipe off dirty areas, but Rachel grabbed my arm and waited for me to look at her.

"Kate, talk to me," she ordered, but in a soft way. "I know what Evie mentioned is a touchy subject, but you usually don't tense up like that. What's going on?"

"I- I don't… I don't know," I admitted quietly. I glanced around the diner to make sure all customers were taken care of, then I pulled Rachel further away from the closest set of ears before continuing. "I guess what she said made me nervous about tonight. I like Darry a lot, and we've been taking things slow, but what if… what if he's expecting us to-"

"Kate, calm down," Rachel instructed. I thought I had been calm given the circumstances, but I realized I was breathing too fast, so I slowed my breathing down as she spoke. "From everything you've told me, and what I've seen with my own eyes, you don't have anything to be nervous about. He won't pressure you into something you're not ready for," she said confidently. Then she gave me a devilish smile. "If he does, kick him where the sun don't shine and come find me. I'll deal with him, and hell, Keith will too."

I laughed a little. "Oh yeah? You're going to take on the former captain of the football team? And since when do you call him Keith?"

She blushed a little at that. "Well it is his name. And I'll have you know, I'm tougher than I look. Plus, it doesn't hurt that I'm going out with a greaser that's willing to fight just about anyone if I asked."

I shook my head at her, but I kept smiling. "You used to hate greasers, but now look at you. You're offering up yourself and your boyfriend to fight other people."

"I guess I just needed to find the right guy to change my mind," she said with a light laugh. Then she got quiet and serious again. "But really Kate, I don't think you have much to worry about tonight. Darry's a gentleman, everyone knows it. Evie even called him old school. He won't-"

"It's not just that," I interrupted. I had to say what was on my mind before I lost my nerve, so I couldn't let Rachel go on about how perfect Darry was. "I like him a lot, and it's not like I don't want to, maybe if things go well I could… but I can't until I tell him first."

"You haven't told him yet?" Rachel asked. Thankfully, it didn't sound like she was appalled or anything, it was more like she just wanted to make sure she heard me correctly.

I shook my head and sighed in defeat. "No. I don't know how to. It's not like that subject gets brought up a lot. Telling him about the beatings was one thing, but this is different."

There was a short pause before she spoke again. "It might be different, but I don't think Darry will react much differently than before when you told him about Victor beating on you."

My eyebrows furrowed. I wanted to believe her, to believe that Darry will be kind and supportive towards me, but there was still doubt living in the back of my mind. "I'm not so sure about that. Once he hears-"

"Shut it, Kate," Rachel said harshly, but she still managed to keep her voice down. "Darry cares about you, and telling him won't change that. But I think it's important for him to know about it if you ever want to take the next step, even if it's not tonight."

I took a deep breath in and exhaled. It doesn't have to be tonight. I can tell him tomorrow, or even next week. I don't need to ruin Valentine's Day by telling him the worst of my past. "You're right, but even if I don't tell him tonight, I have to tell him soon. It's not something that I can keep from him much longer."

"Relax, Kate. It's not like there's a timer somewhere that decides by when you have to tell him," Rachel replied patiently. "You should tell him when you're ready, whenever that is."

I nodded, but I couldn't help but feel like there really was an invisible hourglass somewhere, just ticking down the seconds before I had to have the potentially relationship-ending conversation. "I know, but I don't want to be too deep into our relationship before having that talk. If he runs for the hills after finding out, I'd rather have that happen early on."

Rachel looked hurt by my words, which was confusing since nothing I said should've offended her. "What makes you so sure he'd leave?"

I shrugged. "Just a feeling I guess."

I really hope I'm wrong.

I drove Johnny to the Curtis house after both of us were done working, then I went back to my apartment to get ready for my dinner date with Darry. Even though we would just be at the house for the night, I still wanted to look cute.

After showering, I curled my hair, did my makeup, and eventually decided on wearing a long-sleeved burgundy dress that ended just above my knees. I looked at the clock to make sure I was still okay for time, and after I brushed my teeth and double-checked my makeup, I grabbed the bag on my coffee table on my way out.

The whole time I drove to the Curtis residence, I thought back to my earlier conversation with Rachel, and I tried to calm my nerves.

We're just going to have a nice dinner and stay in tonight.

I don't need to tell him everything else yet. I can wait for the right time.

Darry is a perfect gentleman. Nothing is going to happen tonight.

But what if I wanted to-

I parked my car in front of the house and got out before my mind caused me to completely panic. I grabbed the bag from the front seat and walked to the house. As I shut the gate behind me, a wolf whistle suddenly sounded. When I looked up towards where the noise originated, I spotted Soda standing on the porch, looking at me with a big smile. Next to him, Johnny was standing with the help of his crutches, and Ponyboy was leaning against the railing, smoking a cigarette.

"Damn Kate, you sure look nice." Soda was always so sweet and genuine, his comment didn't make me feel uncomfortable like it would have if it a stranger said that to me.

"Thanks Soda," I said, returning his smile as I walked up to the porch.

Soda turned to yell into the house. "Darry, your girlfriend is here!" I winced a little at the sheer volume of his voice, but before I could tell him he didn't need to announce my arrival, he turned to look at the two boys with him. "What do you guys say? Let's get outta here and give them some alone time."

I didn't even have time to worry about what he was suggesting before Darry appeared at the door. He was wearing a clean pair of jeans and a nice shirt that was just tight enough to show off his physique. My eyes met his, and I let out a breath and smiled. "Hi Darry."

"Hi Kate," he said with a smile as he opened the door for me.

"Doesn't she look good, Dar?" Soda offered as I walked past him and into the house.

I could tell by the sound that Darry had cuffed the back of Soda's head, but there was laughter, so it must've not been too hard. When I turned around, I saw Darry reach into his pocket and hand Soda the keys, along with a few bucks. "This is for you three, you hear? Don't go trying to pick up any girls. And be back by midnight."

"I got it Darry. Glory, you'd think I've never been away from home before," Soda joked as he took the items from Darry's hand and walked down the porch steps. "C'mon boys! Let's let Superman and Supergirl have their date night."

We watched the boys until they got into the truck before shutting the door. As soon as Darry started to turn around, we heard tires start squealing, and he rolled his eyes and shook his head, muttering something about letting his "reckless kid brother behind the wheel" of his truck. I chuckled at that, knowing that Darry and pretty much every other teenage boy in high school did the same thing whenever they had a chance to turn heads.

Suddenly, Darry's hands were on my waist and he was smiling down at me. "You look beautiful, Kate."

Even though he had said things like that to me many times, the way he looked at me when he said it that time made me blush more than I ever had before. Something like fire was dancing in his eyes as he stared down at me.

"Thanks. You look handsome as always," I replied before going on my tip-toes to kiss him. When we parted, I smiled up at him and handed him the bag I was still holding. "Happy Valentine's Day."

He took it from me and gave me a questioning look. "What's this?"

I shrugged, trying to act casual. "Just something I wanted you to have."

Darry still looked confused, but he grinned and held my hand. "Okay, but before I open it, I have to give you something first."

I raised my eyebrows at him, but before I could even ask what he was talking about, he guided me towards the dining table.

The table was set for two: two plates, empty wine glasses, and silverware lined up straight and proper. I was so used to the typical chaos of the Curtis household or even the diner during our busiest hours, that it was pleasantly surprising to have the table set and ready for just the two of us to have dinner and enjoy each other's company.

Since we were so close to the kitchen, wonderful smells wafted all around, and my mouth immediately started watering. "It smells amazing, Darry. What did you make?"

He gave me a smirk. "It's a surprise, you'll have to wait."

I put my hands on my hips and gave him a playful pout. "You know I'm not very patient," I stated.

Darry smiled at me, then he put his hand on my cheek and leaned down to kiss me again. Our lips moved in the easy rhythm that we had grown accustomed to, and after a short time, I let his tongue slip between my lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Knowing that there wasn't anyone else around made it even more difficult for us to eventually part from each other, but even when we did, our faces remained close, and I just stared into his gorgeous eyes. He had told me he could get lost in mine, but his swallowed me up just as easily.

"Sit down," he said as he pulled the chair away from the table and guided me to sit. "I'll be right back," he said, seeming almost reluctant to leave my side. He put the bag I gave him on the table and disappeared into the kitchen, and moments later, he reappeared, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. "Happy Valentine's Day, Kate," he said, handing them to me.

I accepted them with what I was sure was a stunned expression. I had never been given flowers before, let alone red and pink roses– the kind of flowers you give to someone you love romantically. "Oh my God, Darry… they're beautiful," I said breathlessly. I looked up at him, my eyes threatening to start watering from his gesture and thoughtfulness. "Thank you so much."

He gave me a warm smile that made me melt. "You're welcome, sweetheart." Then he leaned down to briefly kiss my forehead before looking at me again. "Want me to put them in some water?"

I grinned and nodded back at him. "Thanks."

When he disappeared again, it felt like I was suddenly missing something, and that feeling went away as soon as he returned. In one hand, he held a vase that contained the roses, and in the other, he held two bottles of wine. After setting the vase down on the table, he looked at me and politely asked, "red or white?"

"White please," I answered.

He poured me a glass of white wine first, then he poured himself a glass of red. He set the bottles down before sitting down in the seat across from me. "The food still has a few more minutes before it'll be ready."

"Perfect," I said. Then I held my wine glass up and extended it towards him. "Cheers?"

He chuckled a little, then he copied me and held his glass up. "Cheers."

Our glasses clinked, and after we each took a sip of our drinks, I remembered something. "Oh, the bag."

Darry looked confused for a moment, but then he looked over at the bag I had given him. He picked it up and looked at me. "You said this is for me?"

I nodded, then waited for him to open it. After he reached into the bag and pulled out the small hand tools, he studied them carefully. I knew he recognized what they were immediately since he stilled and his eyes got just a little wider.

"They were my dad's," I explained before he could say anything. "I figured since you like woodworking, they'd be better with you than me."

He looked up at me, apparently shocked. "Are you sure? I mean, they were your dad's… I don't-"

"He'd want you to have them," I assured him. Honestly, my dad would've loved Darry if the two of them ever had a chance to meet, and that thought sent a spike of pain straight through my heart. "I have my memories and other things from him. I think he'd want his tools to be used by someone who has the same love and appreciation for the craft as he did. Then they aren't just locked up in a box somewhere like my closet."

He stared at me in disbelief, then he looked back down at the tools in his hands. He turned them around, analyzing them carefully, before looking back up at me. It didn't look like he was as close to tears as I had been just minutes before, but his eyes were soft and warm, and I knew he appreciated the gift and the sentiment behind it. "Thank you, Kate. This means a lot. I'll take good care of them."

"You're welcome," I said, trying to give him the same soft and warm look. "And I know you will."

A timer suddenly went off, and after Darry carefully put the tools back in the bag and set them on the table, he grabbed our plates and excused himself to go back into the kitchen. A minute or two later, he returned with a plate full of food in each hand. He set one down in front of me and said "Bon appétit."

I looked down at the plate in front of me, and I was stunned. There was a perfectly-cooked steak covered with mushrooms in cream sauce. Next to that, there were bright green beans with what looked like chopped almonds mixed in. The aromas coming from the plate made it nearly impossible not to immediately dig in.

"This looks amazing, Darry," I muttered, almost at a loss for words.

Once he was settled in his chair, Darry gave me a small grin. "Thanks, but it's not about how it looks; it's about how it tastes. Dig in."

"Darry, that was fantastic," I said as I set my silverware on my empty plate. Sure, he had said he enjoyed cooking, but he had apparently downplayed his skills.

"Thanks," he said before finishing his wine and smiling at me. "I can't take all the credit though. I asked for Johnny's help and he gave me a few tips. We even made some cream sauce earlier this week to practice, and my brothers were the testers."

I smiled at him. It filled me with happiness that he had put so much thought into our dinner, but I hoped he didn't worry too much about it. "You didn't need to go through all the trouble, you know. You could've made grilled cheese and I would've been happy. I just wanted to spend a quiet evening with you."

He shook his head at me. "I know you would've, but I couldn't do that. It's Valentine's Day, and you deserve more than that."

Evie was right; Darry's old school. And hasn't he already proven to be a romantic guy?

I stood up from my chair and walked over to Darry's side of the table. He remained seated, and when I approached him, he quirked an eyebrow at me, seemingly curious about my intentions. Before he could say or ask anything, I leaned down to wrap my arms around him, trapping him in the chair, and I gave him a deep, passionate kiss. I could tell he tried to escape my embrace so he could stand, but I wasn't having it. I kept him firmly seated while I tasted the wine on his lips and tongue.

When I pulled away from him, his eyes opened, and he almost looked like he was in a daze.

"Thank you, babe," I said with a smile. "And I mean it when I say you don't need to go through all this trouble just for me, but after tonight, I'll let you cook for me whenever you want."

He grinned up at me, then in one swift move, he threw his arms around me and pulled me down to sit on his lap. "Good."

We sat there, making out for a while before we slowed and eventually parted again. I got off his lap, and after looking at the table, I suddenly remembered the Curtis rule, so I started gathering the dirty plates and silverware.

"What are you doing?" Darry asked.

"Taking care of the dishes," I answered simply. In my peripheral vision, I could see that he was about to argue, but I wasn't going to let him even start. "You know the rules; you cooked, so I clean," I said, pointing a fork at him.

He looked startled, but I saw stubbornness and determination flash in his expression. "Kate, you're-"

"You're welcome to help dry and put them away if you want," I interrupted before I brought the stack of dishes into the kitchen. I didn't hear him say anything, but after a brief pause, his footsteps followed me.

After we cleaned the dishes, we poured ourselves more wine and sat down on the couch to see if there were any good movies playing on tv. After clicking through the channels, we eventually found a romance movie, which we figured was fitting since it was Valentine's Day and everything.

It was comforting to have Darry's arm wrap around me and pull me against him, and I couldn't help but press into him a little extra, savoring the feeling of being engulfed by his muscles. After I finished my wine, I set my glass on the coffee table next to Darry's and pulled my feet up on the couch so I could lay against Darry's side. He naturally adjusted his arm, and when his hand landed on the curve of my waist, it felt like electricity jolted throughout my body.

"You okay?" Darry asked kindly, making me wonder if I actually did jerk from the contact.

I looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay," I said. Then I let my head fall on his chest again and I placed my hand on top of his abdomen. Underneath my fingers, I felt his muscles contract, and I couldn't help but smirk. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he was quick to say. Then, apparently after some thought, he whispered, "I've got a pretty girl right here next to me. How could I not be okay?"

I turned to look up at him, and as he smiled down at me, I could see the lust dancing in his eyes. He'd never act on it unless I initiated it, and that trust was probably what caused my body to react before I could even think about it first.

Instead of lying against him, I was suddenly sitting on his lap, straddling him, and throwing my arms around his neck. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. Immediately, his hands were on my waist, holding me in place with a firm, but gentle grip.

Our lips started moving faster, and when I forced my tongue into his mouth, he let out a noise that immediately made me lightheaded with excitement. I shifted a little, and Darry's grip on my waist tightened, causing me to groan into his mouth.

The reservations that I predicted that I'd have were nonexistent. I was in love with Darry, and all I wanted in that moment was him.

Before I realized it, I had put my hands directly on the skin under his shirt. He shuddered under my touch, and I couldn't help but smile into our heated kiss, knowing that I was the one who caused the reaction. I started to trace all the muscles of his torso, and moments later, he slipped his shirt off, letting me have easier access to his skin.

While my hands were navigating his upper body, I could feel Darry's hands start wandering too. They moved from my waist, to my lower back, then they started moving further down. I relished the feeling of his hands on me, needing as much contact as he was willing to give me.

Everything was a blissful blur, but the moment I felt his large, strong hands move under the hem of my dress and touch the skin on my upper thighs, I was transported somewhere else, sometime else.

Rough hands tightly gripping me, surely leaving bruises for me to see the next day that would be purposely hidden from everyone else.

"Quit your fighting."

The stench of booze on his breath.

"C'mon Katie, relax."

The pain, shame, and humiliation all flowing through me like they resided in my blood.

"No! Stop!"

I gasped and flinched away. "Stop."

The hands immediately retracted away from me, like my voice had managed to burn them. I blinked a few times to clear my vision, and it took a moment for me to remember that I wasn't with Victor; I was with Darry. Darry, who was the most comforting, selfless, and caring man I'd ever known. Darry's nothing like Victor. He would never hurt me. God, why won't my mind just leave me alone?

"I'm sorry Kate. I-"

"No, it's me. I'm sorry," I interrupted. I was suddenly aware that there were tears in my eyes, and in addition to my voice sounding shaky, I had pushed myself away from Darry and had started trembling on the other end of the couch.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. I just got a little caught up in the moment," Darry said quietly as he averted his eyes slightly, like he felt ashamed for something. "That's on me, alright?"

I shook my head, still trying to get the awful memories to completely clear out of my mind. "No, it's not your fault. I… glory, I'm such a hypocrite. I- I had my hands all over you you, but the second I felt…" I trailed off, not physically able to say anything else. Just the mention of hands on my skin made a chill go down my spine as I remembered everything Victor had done.

"You can be mad at me Kate; I wouldn't blame you. I was going too fast," Darry said sadly. "I should've made sure it was okay before-"

"Enough, Darry. It's not you, okay?!" I didn't mean to raise my voice at him, it just happened. I stared down at my hands and clenched them into fists, willing them to stop shaking. Then, when I dared to meet Darry's eyes, I saw fear and pain in his expression. He doesn't deserve this. "I'm sorry, Darry. I didn't mean to yell. Glory, you're the last person I would ever want to yell at." I covered my face with my still-shaky hands, not able to deal with the hurt look on his face anymore. "It's me. It's my fault. I'm broken."

A few seconds passed, then I felt gentle, tentative fingers gently wrap around my forearms. My initial instinct was to pull away or fight back, but I knew it was just the residual emotions from my memories that made me feel like a trapped wild animal. Until then, I had savored every single time Darry had touched me or even just been near me, and I was determined to return to that sense of ease around my boyfriend as quickly as possible. So, while I forced myself to appear calm, I let Darry guide my hands away from my face.

"You are not broken Kate," he said softly and confidently. I looked at his blue-green eyes, and I found myself getting engulfed by them. "And nothing is your fault."

Yeah right, I thought sarcastically. Who's the one that just freaked out?

I sniffled and pulled one of my hands out of his grasp. Darry seemed reluctant to let go, but he also seemed to know when to allow me some space. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and started trying to apologize and explain myself. "I know most girls would do this," I said, motioning my hand between us, "without any problem, but I just-"

"Hey, it's alright," he said, his voice still soft and kind. Then he slowly reached to grab hold of my free hand again. With both of my hands held in his, he started stroking the back of my hands with his thumbs, obviously trying to calm me down. "You don't need to explain anything. I'm not mad."

I tried to settle down and act like everything was okay, but it seemed like it was a losing battle. I wished the emotions that had decided to make such a sudden appearance would just as quickly disappear, but I knew it wasn't that simple.

I have to tell him. I need to explain what's wrong with me. He deserves to know without a doubt that it's not him.

"I should… I should tell you why," I muttered, staring at our hands. Those hands won't ever hurt me. He listened when I told him to stop, remember?

"You don't need to-"

I met his eyes again. "Yes I do. You deserve to know, and this seems like as good a time as any."

Darry's expression displayed his confliction. He wasn't someone that would push me to talk about something that I was uncomfortable with, but I knew there must've been some confusion and curiosity going through his mind too.

"I already told you about Victor, how he hit me and things like that…" I started, trying to figure out how to tell him. He already hated Victor, I'd seen the hatred in his eyes every time I mentioned my step-father, and he didn't even know the worst of it.

Darry silently nodded as I spoke, waiting for me to continue.

I took a steadying breath, although it didn't make me feel any better. "Well, it was more than that. He… I…" I stifled back a sob and tried to breathe, but it was getting harder to do as the seconds ticked by. I had said the words out loud before, but only to two other people, and for some reason, it was infinitely harder to tell Darry than it was to tell either Rachel or Connie.

He squeezed my hands, wordlessly offering me his support.

I closed my eyes and let my head drop. I didn't want to see his reaction.

"I'm not a virgin Darry," I finally managed to say. My voice cracked with every syllable. "And it wasn't by choice."

His hands went still, rigid even, and the world seemed to freeze around us. For a moment, I thought I might've passed out or something, but the warmth around my hands told me I was still very much conscious.

"It was Victor," I added, as if Darry couldn't have guessed that.

Words started to spill out of my mouth faster and faster, like a dam broke and water was rushing out.

"It started when I was thirteen, and it didn't stop until I moved out," I explained, choking on my sobs. "I'm usually fine, it's been years and I've moved past it, but sometimes… sometimes the memories just come back. I can't help it. And when I get those flashbacks, it's like it's happening all over again, and I just can't… and when your hands started…" just remembering how his hands caused a flashback almost made me slip again, but I squeezed my hands and focused on my breathing– two things that usually prevented me from slipping back into my worst memories.

After a moment of pulling myself back to the present, I continued. "I'm sorry. It's nothing you did; the awful memories just came back and I freaked out. I swear I don't have a problem with you being close or touching me, it's just…" I suddenly realized that I was outwardly bawling, and I wished that I could stop. "I'm ruined, Darry," I continued with a sob, still squeezing my eyes shut and refusing to look up at his face. "I'm broken and dirty and-"

"Catherine." The use of my full name being said with such raw emotion caught me off-guard. By the way he sounded, I had a feeling Darry had been trying to get my attention for a while. "Baby, please look at me."

I didn't want to oblige. I was terrified to see a look of disgust on Darry's face, but the tone of his voice was borderline begging, so it was impossible for me to ignore his plea. After I forced my eyes to open, I slowly brought my gaze up to look at Darry. I had to blink several times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

Darry didn't look disgusted at all; he looked pained. On top of that, his eyes were glassy. Is he crying?

"Kate," he started, his voice so quiet and soft that I was surprised that it came from him. "You are not dirty or broken."

I searched his eyes, trying to figure out what was going through his mind. How could he say that? Does he not understand what I just told him? "But-"

"Listen to me," he said roughly, but sternly. I had forgotten he was holding my hands until he squeezed them tighter. "What that- that bastard did to you… that's not your fault. Nothing's wrong with you."

I shook my head and tried to pry my hands away from him, but Darry kept a gentle, yet firm, grasp on them. Accepting that he wasn't going to let go, I just spoke, trying to get him to understand. "Darry, he touched me. He did things to me. I'm dirty, gross, impure." Tears continued to stream down my face, and after I closed my eyes and let my chin fall to my chest, I felt Darry wiping my cheeks. "Don't you want to be with a girl that isn't tainted?"

I felt him freeze again for a second, then his hands moved to cup the sides of my face. He tilted my head back up, and I knew we'd be looking into each other's eyes if mine were open. "Kate, look at me sweetie. Please."

I sniffled a couple times and tried to collect myself. Then, I forced myself to look at him. The intensity that always lived in his eyes was somehow displayed across all of his features. Along with that intensity, his watery eyes just added to the passionate look he gave me. I knew whatever he was about to say was going to be serious.

"You are not tainted. You hear me?" He would've sounded angry if his voice didn't waver. "You're perfect. What happened back then and tonight doesn't change how I feel about you."

"But wouldn't you rather date someone that doesn't have all these issues? Someone who didn't have another man… defile her?" I asked. I knew deep down I didn't want him to agree with that, but I felt obligated to give him a way out if that's what he wanted. He didn't know all of this stuff about me when we started dating. If it's all too much for him, I wouldn't be mad or offended if he wanted to split up. It's a lot for anyone to handle.

I was surprised when he shook his head and gave me a small, disbelieving smile. "Date someone else? Glory Kate, I can't imagine dating anyone else," he said, his voice quivering a little.

My heart felt like it stopped, then it started beating ten times quicker than normal. Did I hear him correctly? Before I could question him or even try to convince him otherwise, Darry kept going. "You've lived through things that you never should've had to deal with, and I'm sorry that happened to you, but it doesn't mean I don't want to be with you."

My eyebrows immediately rose at that. "Really?" I asked with a sniffle. "But what if I keep having these flashbacks? What if-"

"Then we'll work through them," he interrupted. "Look Kate, I can't say I'm the best at comforting people– Sodapop has always been the best at it– but I'll do whatever I can to help you. I promise."

I was stunned. Is he being serious? With everything else going on in his life, he really wants to add me and my issues to his list of things to take care of?

Apparently noting that I wasn't arguing or even replying, Darry continued. "I know a few people that have been through things and get flashbacks, so maybe I'll be able to help you through them."

I looked at him skeptically, without uttering a word.

"They might not get them from the same things you do, but I'm sure there's some similarities I can pick up on," Darry added almost defensively, like he knew I didn't quite believe him. "For instance, there might be a build-up before the panic, right? And it can happen really quick."

I nodded. "Not every time though. Sometimes it's sudden, like tonight."

Darry nodded understandingly. "Right. And that's okay."

Not for the first time, I wondered how on Earth Darry was so patient with me. How can he possibly be this understanding?

Darry seemed encouraged by my reaction, (or lack thereof,) so he kept talking while I stayed silent. "Pony's always had nightmares, but ever since the church fire, he and Johnny sometimes panic when they see fire or smell smoke. They'll start to stare and get lost in their heads if they see a flame or whatever else triggers them. The guys and I can usually tell when it's starting, so we try to bring them back to us before anything happens. When we had the fire going on Christmas, we all were keeping an eye on them, making sure they were doing okay."

I watched Darry carefully, waiting to see the annoyance or a look of judgement to cross his face as he spoke about the boys' flashbacks, but it never happened. He really seemed to understand that it wasn't something that any of us could control, even though I wished we could.

"It's not just fire either. Once, Pony got splashed in the face with water when he was doing the dishes, then he just dropped to the floor and started trembling," Darry continued. "It sounded like he was choking, so Soda and I thought maybe he inhaled some of the water. Johnny figured out what was going on, and after he got Pony to calm down, he reminded us that Pony was nearly drowned the night I… the night he ran off. That was the whole reason Johnny stabbed Bob Sheldon– to save Pony from being drowned. Now we know to watch him around water too."

I saw the familiar look of hurt cross Darry's face, and I knew he was reliving the moment he hit his little brother, as well as picturing what Pony would've looked like being drowned. Maybe he understands more than I thought possible.

"I don't want you to think I'm about to fall apart or anything," I explained, my voice sounding slightly steadier than before. "I'm not usually like this. I'm not some weak girl that's going to break."

"Believe me, I know that," Darry said earnestly with a hint of a grin. "You're tough, you've had to be, and I know you're not weak. I don't think Johnny or Pony are weak either. It takes a strong person to make it through hard things, but those things still leave their mark."

I nodded without even deciding too.

"What I'm trying to say is…" Darry said slowly as he squeezed my hands again. "You shouldn't feel bad about the flashbacks or anything else. I can try to help you through them if that's okay." Then his face got stern, almost making him look angry. "And what that son of a bitch did to you… none of it means your broken or dirty, and I don't ever want to hear you say that about yourself again."

I looked into his eyes, wishing the confidence he was speaking with could somehow seep into me and make my doubts disappear. It didn't work that way, but he at least made me feel a little better.

"Honey, I need to hear you say it," he said, his voice sounding pleading again. "I need to know you understand that what he did doesn't make you tainted in any way."

I opened my mouth to say something along the lines of agreeing with him, but I couldn't force it out. I tried a few times, but I kept choking on the lies. Finally, I managed to say a truthful statement that was hopefully good enough for him. "I promise to try, but I've felt this way for so long… it's not that easy."

Darry looked saddened by my words, but he still nodded. "Okay."

A few seconds passed where Darry and I just looked at each other, then he slowly wrapped his arms around me. I could tell he was moving at a speed that would allow me to pull away if I felt uncomfortable, but he didn't need to. It felt like Darry was the only thing that was keeping me from falling apart, so I practically dove into his chest as I reciprocated the comforting embrace. He immediately tightened his arms around me, which just made me feel even better.

"I really am sorry," I muttered into his chest. I hoped that I wasn't going to irritate Darry by bringing it all up again when he probably just wanted to move past it. "I'm sorry I added more things for you to deal with. And I'm sorry this all came up tonight when we finally had some alone time. I didn't mean to ruin Valentine's Day."

He kissed the top of my head, and I allowed myself to let out a sigh from the gesture. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You didn't ruin anything," he said softly. "I'm sorry that all happened to you, but thank you for telling me. I'd never want to do something that would make you uncomfortable or cause you any more problems. I'm happy just spending time with you."

"Thank you," I replied quietly. But what if this happens every time? What if every time Darry touches me, I think of Victor? The thought made a shudder run through me. "I don't know when I'll be… I want to, but what if…" I trailed off, not entirely sure how to phrase what I was thinking.

"We don't have to rush into anything," Darry assured me, apparently reading my mind again. "We can take things as slow as you need, and we'll only ever do what you're comfortable with. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

I tightened my arms around him, which he reciprocated. "Thank you, Darry."

A moment passed, and his next few words were so gentle and quiet, I almost missed them. "I love you, Kate."

I froze, but not from fear; it was from shock. Did I hear him right?

I slowly pulled my head away from Darry so I could get a good look at his face. His expression was serious, although there was a hint of worry mixed in too. "What?" I asked without thinking.

He still looked a little apprehensive, but when he said it again, he was a little louder and more confident than the first time. "I love you, Kate. And nothing is going to change that."

He loves me? After everything I just told him, he still loves me?

Upon seeing the sincerity in his face and hearing it in his voice, I beamed, and I could feel more tears start to fill my eyes. "I love you too, Darry." I leaned forward and we shared a brief kiss before we returned to our previous embrace. Even though I couldn't see his face, I imagined that he was smiling as much as I was.

We stayed liked that, cuddled up on the couch, for a long time. I didn't want to leave the safety and warmth of his embrace, and I had a feeling he wasn't eager to let me go either.

"Darry?" I asked softly, just in case he fell asleep.

"Yeah?" he replied. The rumble in his chest as he spoke made me feel even more comforted.

"Would it be okay if I stayed the night?" I asked tentatively. "It's okay if you say no. I don't want to overst-"

"Of course you can stay," Darry cut me off, then he slightly tightened his hold on me. "I want you to stay."

I grinned. "Thank you."

The boys' curfew was midnight, so some time after eleven, we got off the couch and got ready for bed before the boys returned. Darry grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt for me to borrow so I didn't have to sleep in my dress, and he immediately left his room, which was his silent way of giving me privacy to change.

He really is the perfect gentleman.

Once I changed into Darry's clothes, I brushed my teeth with an extra toothbrush Darry had luckily just bought and put in the closet, then I scrubbed the makeup off my face in the bathroom the best I could. After that, I was ready to sleep, but I wanted to say goodnight to Darry first. I thought he'd be in his room, but instead, I found him sitting in the recliner in the living room, reading the paper.

"Aren't you going to bed?" I asked him.

He looked up at me, and after he momentarily looked me up and down, I noticed that he smiled a little more. "Yeah, I just need to wait for the boys to come home."

I smiled at him, then I moved to sit on his lap like we had done on Christmas. He let the paper drop to the floor and he wrapped his arms around me as I settled down and leaned into him. It was so easy and so natural, that I could almost forget what happened earlier. "You should get some sleep since you have work in the morning. I'll stay up until they come home."

"It's alright, I got it," he said, sounding tired but obviously not trying to show it. "You go on ahead. They shouldn't be too long."

"Darry, you're tired and you have to be up on a ladder tomorrow morning," I reasoned. I knew he was going to argue with me, but after everything that was thrown at him that night, I wanted to help him out. "I can just stay out here on the couch-"

"You're not sleeping out here if that's what you're thinking," he said sternly. I gave him a look, which made him soften a little. "You can sleep in my bed. We won't do anything, I promise. I just want you to be comfortable. I can even sleep-"

"No way, Darry. If I'm not sleeping on the couch, you sure as hell aren't either," I countered before he could even finish voicing his thought. Then I smiled at him and put my hand on his cheek. "I trust you. We can share your bed if that's okay with you. I just feel bad about everything I dumped on you today. Besides, I don't want to make it harder for you to sleep with me taking up half of your bed."

He chuckled at that and tightened his arms around me. "Babe, you being there with me would only make it easier for me to sleep, especially after everything you told me. I won't let anything happen to you; I promise."

Darry's protectiveness had always made me feel happy and safe, and those feelings only increased after everything that had happened earlier. "Then it's settled," I said decisively as I leaned into his chest even more. "We'll both wait for the boys to get home, then neither of us will sleep on the couch."

I knew Darry was saying something, probably telling me I didn't need to wait up for the boys to get home, but I quickly fell asleep to the sound of his voice.

(Darry's POV)

After Kate had fallen asleep, I couldn't find it in me to get up and bring her to my bed. I didn't want to risk waking her, or having her wake up alone in my bed later and wondering where I was. But more than anything, I wanted to keep her close for my own selfish reasons; I wanted to be with her all of the time, and the urge I already had to protect her only increased after everything she told me.

If I ever meet Victor, I'm going to kill him. What kind of horrible man beats, molests, and… I didn't even want to think of the word. And he did it all while she was a child. She was even younger than Pony- a chill ran down my spine before I even finished the thought. I swear, everyone in my life had rough childhoods.

After all of the things Kate had told me about Victor, about how he was an awful man or how she avoided her house as much as possible, the thought that had happened too would fleetingly run through my mind before, but I never wanted to believe it was true. This strong, beautiful, and independent woman suffered the worst kind of abuse for years, and I never knew. She did well in school, she got along with everyone, and I never knew. She put on a brave face every day and I. Never. Knew.

Instead of bringing Kate to my room, I stayed in the recliner, holding my sleeping girlfriend close to my chest. She shifted a little in her sleep, but once she settled again, I kissed the top of her head and whispered to her sleeping form. "Nothing like that will ever happen to you again, Kate. I love you."

I recalled how nervous I was to say those words to her for the first time, but I was glad I took the risk and said it. I had known I felt that way about Kate for a while, but I just didn't know when it would be the right time to tell her. Unfortunately, it felt like the right time was when she needed to be reassured after she told me the horrors of her teenage years.

It pained me that Kate really thought she'd given me too much to deal with or that she ruined our night, and to top it off, she was worried about when she'd be comfortable being more physical with me. As if I'd be upset about that. I can wait as long as Kate needs. There's no way I'd push her into something she's not ready for.

Right at midnight, the truck headlights shined through the window, and moments later, I heard voices from outside. Even though Soda was smiling as he led them through the door, Johnny and Pony looked nervous when they entered. I was confused until I realized the last time that we had been in a similar situation– with me sitting in the recliner when Pony came home– was the night I hit Pony and sent him running away from me. I winced at the memory.

"I thought you two would be in a bed," Soda said with a smirk and a suggestive tone in his voice as he looked at me and Kate.

It already bothered me when the guys would make those types of comments, especially when it was around or about Kate, but after everything that had transpired earlier that night, my temper flared quickly.

"Lay off, Soda. I don't want to hear things like that, especially not from my kid brother," I snapped, but I somehow managed to stay quiet enough to prevent waking Kate.

Soda froze, his eyes growing wide. Johnny and Pony both looked stunned too. I didn't typical get upset with Soda, and it all reminded me too much of that awful night months ago.

"Is everything okay?" Ponyboy asked tentatively.

No.

"Yeah, Pone. Everything's fine," I said, trying to get my voice to lighten up a bit.

"Did you two fight?" Pony asked next.

"No, we didn't have a fight," I answered. A fight would be easier to accept and handle than everything Kate has had to deal with. "We both wanted to wait up for you guys, but she fell asleep. She's going to spend the night here, is that alright with you guys?"

All three of them nodded immediately.

"Speaking of which, you two go on to bed," Soda gently instructed the younger teens. Surprisingly, they didn't argue or say anything. After we quietly said "goodnight" to each other, Pony and Johnny walked to their rooms.

With the younger boys gone, Soda let his emotions show on his face, which was difficult for me to look at. I never liked seeing Soda worried or scared, and I needed that look to go away as soon as possible. "Sorry, little buddy. I didn't mean to snap at you," I apologized.

"It's fine Darry, I know you didn't mean it," he said quietly. Then he moved to sit on the arm of the couch before he studied me and Kate carefully. "Why'd that get you so mad? Did something happen?"

I glanced down at Kate for a moment, as if she could tell me what to say, despite the fact she was still sleeping. "I just don't want to hear those kinds of things," I settled with. "And I especially don't want to hear those things when Kate's around."

I could feel Soda's eyes still staring at me, and when I looked up at him, he was obviously trying to figure things out on his own instead of pressuring me to tell him. Finally, he nodded with acceptance. "Okay. I'm sorry, Dar."

"It's alright Soda," I said. I really did feel bad for snapping at him, but Soda was always so forgiving, so I knew he really wouldn't be upset with me.

"I'll make sure the guys lay off those jokes too," he added.

I grinned at him. "I'd appreciate that. Thanks Soda."

He stayed there, silently looking at me and my girlfriend like he was still trying to figure something out. Finally, that analyzing look dropped from his face and he smiled easily. "So did you two have a good night?"

I looked at Kate and found myself smiling down at her. Besides the fact I learned even more about her hell-bound step-father? "Yeah, it was a good night."

Quietly, I told Soda how much Kate loved the roses and dinner, then he told me about the double-feature at the drive-in. By the time we finished exchanging stories, both of us were exhausted, so while he turned all the lights off, I picked Kate up and brought her to my room. Once we were both settled under the covers, I couldn't help but lean over and kiss her forehead. "Goodnight Kate. I love you."

I could really get used to those words.