Gamo rushed out of the restaurant, her heart pounding in her chest, driven by worries for the man who's entire disposition suddenly changed in front of her. She had been so happy just casually chatting with her Paisen and enjoying the delicious food they had ordered, that it completely slipped her mind just how bad of a panic attack Naoto went through the day prior. She was so mad at herself!
Quickly glancing every which way to catch a glimpse of him, she thought she could see his floofy hair disappear around a corner. Luckily Gamo would rather die than slack off on her fitness, which allowed her to sprint after her person of interested and catch up to him in just a few seconds.
As she had thought, Naoto was trudging down a side road, leading away from the commerce and into a residential area. His head was lowered, making Gamo wonder whether or not he could even see where he was going. In fact, the way he carried himself overall just screamed of someone struggling with a lot on the inside.
"O-oi, Paisen!" Gamo quickly ran ahead of him to get a look at his face, while walking at Naoto's pace. "What was that all about?"
"I-I don't really know," Naoto quietly responded. Gamo could immediately tell that he was lying. "I guess, uh, it was kind of.. kind of rude to leave you all alone back there."
"I don't care about that Paisen!" she replied, opting to let the concern she was feeling freely tinge her voice. "I just want to be sure you are okay."
Naoto's slowed to a crawl, lowering his head even further. Gamo was sure by now his chin was resting against his chest.
Gamo began mentally listing off the ways she could approach the situation to ease his pain, comfort him and have him open up to her. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't all that good with tender emotions and speaking openly about feelings. Gamo was a woman of action in all things, that including caring for those that she thought required her help.
She would have loved to reach out to pull Naoto into a tight embrace and hold him that way until he felt better. He was her Paisen after all. She could do it for him, no problem!
But considering his unique circumstance, it felt like that would be the worst possible choice.
That and Gamo couldn't remember ever hugging a boy who wasn't a family member before.
It wasn't shocking to her. Guys tended to avoid her wherever she went, as they considered her less than ideal for a girl.
They always ended up intimidated by her personality, overall attitude and raw physical prowess, which she chose to hone at any given chance. Most guys seemed to favor women acting all coy or feeble, and preferred if they were to dress in seductive and overtly charming ways. Someone like Sakura.
That wasn't Gamo's style and she doubted it would ever be. Due to this, she had long come to terms with the idea that, she would most likely never find a guy willing to accept her true self, within her day to day life. But that was a-ok by her.
Maki Gamou didn't need anyone else to be content with her life!
But she sure would have liked someone else.
Naoto finally came to a halt, his breaths coming out at uneven intervals, as if he had been running a marathon. He doubled over, resting his hands on his knees as he asked, "Why do you care?"
The man knew of course what the obvious answer would be, before she even had the chance to say it out loud.
"Because you're my friend!"
Naoto clenched his teeth and finally lifted his gaze to meet hers, a strange look of discontent in his eyes. It wasn't one simple emotion like fear, anger or sadness. It was a strange brew of all of the above and more. "Am I really!? Are you sure about that!?"
Gamo's face scrunched up into an expression of hurt confusion.
"O-Of course I am!" she reassured him, taken aback by the idea that he didn't feel the same way about their friendship despite how well the day had been going up until this point.
"Nao-"
"Stop." Gamo's attempt at starting the conversation up again was immediately cut off, a hint of guilt seeping into Naoto's voice.
"D-Don't call me that," he eventually continued. "You can go with Hachiouji, or just stick with Paisen if you want. Just… Just don't."
The severe sting in her heart was something Gamo had not been prepared for. She could feel her lungs struggling to provide her with oxygen, as the heat began draining from her extremities. Being robbed off the privilege of first name basis with her Paisen was something her body seemingly couldn't tolerate.
Gamo knew something this wasn't right, his sudden behavioral shift didn't add up and she just wanted to help him. In spite of her better judgment she wanted to physically reach out to get through to him.
She was swiftly reminded why that was a bad idea regarding him, when her hand was smacked aside by Naoto's.
"Is that where are now!?" he yelled at the shocked woman in front of him. "Best buds!? All touchy feely with each other!?"
"P-Paisen," she started with a shaky voice. "I… I am sorry…"
"I know you are. That's what makes it worse."
Huh!?
Naoto shook his head and moved to pass Gamo, who was still just struck by the man she had trouble recognizing.
The redhead was hurt in a way that she hadn't considered possible. It wasn't a physical wound like she would receive in a match or even a street fight. There was no bickering akin to what would happen between Nagatoro and her on a frequent basis.
A man had just broken through her inner defenses and cut into her emotionally. It was the first time she could feel the aching of such a wound and she understood for once in her life, why people claimed a broken heart was one of the most painful things to survive.
If this is how she felt about her friend pushing her away, what pain could a lover inflict on her? It was a terrifying thought for the woman that had always been able to punch and kick her problems and pains away. Suddenly, people that willingly entered relationships, leaving themselves wide open to such an outcome, seemed like psychopaths to her.
Yet she knew that Naoto had every right to be angry with her and those that she had surrounded herself. After all, she still shared a close friendship with the very woman that had caused him to develop this way, due to her inconsolable actions. Even though the relationship between Nagatoro and herself would sometimes drive Gamo up a wall, she still loved the girl and could see how that would seem like a betrayal of any friendship that she wanted to build up between her and Naoto.
Gamo steeled herself and passed Naoto again to lead their path ahead.
"M-Maybe I was pushing it," she admitted, trying her best to keep Naoto's issues in mind. "But I mean it Paisen! I care about you! I want to be your friend."
Naoto stopped to stare at her, his eyes having taken on a strangely opaque look. Gamo could tell by his lack of any readable expression that he was on the verge of shutting down, if he hadn't fully done so already. Nagatoro had done the same to her more than once in the past.
Why did this to have to happen? Why did the two people she wanted to comfort, have to be the reason for she needed to intervene in the first place? Why did both of them have to be so stubborn and unbelievably skilled at pushing people away?
"P-Please Paisen… Hachiouji-senpai. Don't lock me out. Please."
The man in front of her shut his eyes slowly and took a few deep breaths, as if to prepare himself to take a plunge into ice cold water. Gamo could feel her insides twisting at the idea of him snapping at her once again, something that in itself threw her for a loop. Why did the thought of Naoto being mad at her scare her so much?
Something cold and unfamiliar snaked it's way through her mind. Pins and needles were stabbing at every part of her body, seemingly freezing the blood in her veins. What the hell was wrong with her?
"I am sorry Gamo," Naoto finally spoke up, his eyelids slowly rising to reveal the regular shine she had come to expect from her Paisen. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
Gamo couldn't help but let out a laugh. She didn't know where it came from, or why it sounded so unlike herself, but the unintended noise was swiftly followed by a hot stinging in her eyes and before she could question herself, tears of relief distorted her vision.
"Y-You're fine," she replied, quickly moving to wipe the tears out of her eyes, as if it would make the strange feelings in her heart vanish.
"No, I am really not," Naoto quickly responded, with a serious expression on his face. "You're trying so hard, for someone like me and-"
Gamo shook her head, knowing this was not the moment to dwell on her own emotions.
"Again with something like that," she cut him off. "What are you even trying to imply? You're not worth trying for?"
Naoto lowered his gaze to the gap between himself and Gamo. The distance was way too short.
"Am I wrong?" he asked in a way that didn't make it clear to Gamo whether it was a rhetorical question.
Gamo didn't deliberate on her next step in the slightest.
"Of course you're wrong! You're a great guy Paisen! You ain't the problem. It's scumbags like me that end up making you feel like shit that need a kick in the ass."
Naoto winced at her statement, forcing more guilt to rise to the surface. "You say that… and yet…"
"What?" Gamo took another step toward him, pushed by her desire to make this situation come to an end and see another smile on his lips, one more laugh involuntarily escaping him.
"I still thought that… that today was just a joke to you," Naoto admitted while choking back his own tears. "You- You took all these steps… And I-I was considering the possibility that- that you would just leave me standing there by myself as a prank. I s-still ended up thinking the worst of you…"
Gamo's breath caught in her throat as she absorbed the message. There was no way he was being serious, right? It must have been a joke. But the longer she stared at the man who's face was hidden by his fluffy hair, the clearer it became that this is truly how he felt.
"That's what's been messing with you!?" she practically screamed at him in disbelief.
Naoto flinched in shock and lifted his face to look at her.
"A-among other things…" he conceded, sounding uncertain of what Gamo's reaction meant.
"You're so stupid!" the woman replied, anger borne of worry sparking in her eyes. "Of course you'd think that! I gave you ever reason to do so! I was worried you wouldn't show because of the stuff we used to do. I am not upset with you man. I deserve shit from you. Like, seriously. Just be mad at me. If you want to hate on me, I am cool with that."
But Gamo had to admit to herself that she really wasn't. She could be dense when it came to herself, but even she had started to realize that being around Paisen like this caused strange feelings and conflicting emotions to bubble up inside of her. The thought of Naoto hating her was suddenly a real fear that she'd rather go without.
Part of her mind was panicking over how she was close to stepping over an invisible line, something that wasn't meant to be crossed by her. Behind this barrier, this well guarded vault, was something that belonged exclusively to Nagatoro, something she had no right to share with her. An experience, an emotion, a sensation that Gamo had been curious about in the past when approaching her Paisen, but one she never dared to look into, as she knew her best friend had claimed it for herself.
Crossing this threshold would be a breach of their friendship. It would ruin everything that their group had built over all these years of knowing each other.
And yet she wanted to take that step.
This was dangerous.
Gamo shut her eyes and fell into deep thoughts, attempting to reflect on the years she had spent surrounded by the girls and all the moments they had shared together. There was too much beauty, too much splendor in every single memory, even the bad ones. It would be a betrayal of the caring, fiercely loyal lion Gamo was, if she were to back stab Nagatoro in such a manner.
Gamo knew her time would come. But this wasn't it. This wasn't the right guy. One day, with someone else she promised herself.
She stepped back from the line.
Gamo opened her eyes again to look at Naoto who had been observing her with his own concern and confusion.
"Gamo, I don't think I could ever hate you," Naoto finally said to her, something that truly managed to lift the woman's spirit. "But… You are Nagatoro's friend."
And her spirits immediately crashed back down to earth. Of course it would come back to her, that wasn't unexpected. But for a moment she had truly believed the two of them could just forget about the elephant in the room and become the friends she could envision in her mind.
"I-I don't want to get between you guys," Naoto continued to Gamo's surprise. "I know how protective she is of her 'pet'. She'd probably freak out if she saw you hanging out with me like this."
Yeah, he was definitely spot on about that one, but Gamo wasn't going to let that stop her. Nagatoro could argue with her over it all she wanted, but while she still rooted for her friend to somehow make a comeback and fix this situation, it was her fault that they were all driven apart from each other, and Gamo wasn't willing to pay the price for that.
"I can be her friend and your friend, those two aren't mutual exclusive," she responded with sincerity.
Naoto cocked his head with an exasperated sigh. "I don't know, it seems pretty exclusive to me."
"Well, don't worry about it," Gamo reassured. "I'll be the one dealing with the heat if it comes to that. And I am okay with it."
Then, a little to her own surprise, Gamo grew more serious as she averted her gaze and began speaking once again.
"Are you going to be okay with her seeing this though?"
"What do you mean?" Naoto asked, not quite following her logic.
A sad smile played across Gamo's lips. "She might interpret it the wrong way. She'll definitely get protective of you, but have you ever really considered what would go through her mind if she saw you with a girl? If she thought that she truly lost you to another and ended up stopping herself from 'pining' after you? Are you okay with that?"
Gamo quickly lowered her head to give herself an inner pep talk, before looking back up at Naoto.
"Do you still love Hayase?"
A somber smile appeared on Naoto's face as he considered the question proposed to him. After everything Hayase Nagatoro had done to him, physically and mentally, there were almost nothing but negative emotions in his mind in context to the woman. He feared her mere presence, terrified of the things she could do or say to him. There was an intense boiling hatred when he thought of how much she had made him suffer in the past, for the sake of her own amusement.
But it would be a lie to say that he no longer had any fond feelings of her. That wide, toothy grin Hayase would show whenever she was badgering him about some ridiculously inappropriate antics would forever be burned into his mind. The way her eyes lit up and almost seemed to melt into her face whenever Naoto managed to catch her off guard and pull at her heartstrings.
Even the way she would never call him by his name, but rather refer to him as her Senpai, elongating each syllable as if she never wanted to be done calling out to him. It made his heart skip a beat to hear the voice of his kohai hold such apparent affection toward him.
At least, until she had shown herself to be completely incapable of understanding the boundaries and limits a healthy relationship would require. Until the day when she had shattered the trust they had slowly built together and violated his faith in her.
That, among many other things, was why Naoto refused to accept the idea that Hayase saw him as anything other than a 'pet', even after Hayase had timidly confessed to him once she grasped how much she had damaged their connection that day.
How could you love someone and still push them past their breaking point?
Naoto still loved the figment of a girl he once thought to have known. He yearned for a life where none of the issues he had endured had ever cropped up. A life where this imaginary girl would simply be honest with him and herself, foregoing the need to hide those feelings behind a façade of someone who could only communicate through hurtful verbal assaults and inconceivably offensive actions.
But he doubted that this girl that he longed for still existed within the shell that he came to fear. Even if she was still alive inside, holding on, clutching to the slightest hope of the two of them coming to fully understand one another, time and distance would have surely changed them far too much to ever pick up the broken pieces.
Naoto simply returned Gamo's stare and hoped that the look in his eyes could convey the message he lacked the words to communicate.
And indeed, Gamo understood all he wanted to tell her. There was no correct answer. There probably would never be. Time could try it's best to heal the scars etched into their hearts and souls, but even time had to eventually admit defeat.
All they could hope for was a slow, agonizing repair of the crumbling structures that connecting them all to one another.
Gamo was the first, but not the only one that wished to re-enter Naoto's life. Despite his lack of faith in the fact that people would be drawn toward him, each of the girls missed him for their own reasons and wished to make amends.
Naoto wasn't just some guy that they had messed with because they were bored and thought he was an easy target. After some time, it hadn't even been just because Hayase had shown a clear interest in him.
No, in his own way, Naoto had slowly become someone all of them knew they could depend on and confide into if they ever felt the need to. And he would be there for them to the best of his ability, not out of obligation toward Nagatoro, or the fear that the girls might retaliate if he were to misstep, but because he was just a wonderful person who wouldn't let his friends fall by the wayside, no matter what.
Gamo once again brushed up against the invisible line and shook her head incredulously.
No wonder Hayase had fallen for him. Naoto was a dangerous guy.
"Come on," she broke the somber silence. "You still gotta pay for your food."
After returning to the restaurant to pay, Gamo ended up ordering two more meals, as she had planned to before. One she could eat tomorrow and the other she could take with her back home. Maybe, if the girls asked her nicely, they could have a bite or two.
Naoto was walking by her side as she was leading him slowly toward the direction of their hotel, making sure to stay off any obvious paths that would have them run into the rest of the group.
"What did you even tell them you were doing today?" Naoto asked, surprised that he hadn't thought of this sooner.
Gamo chuckled as she turned her head toward him. "I just told them I wanted to check out some stuff on my own. We're all adults man, I can spend a few hours by myself without them worrying."
"If you say so," Naoto responded as they continued walking down another side road.
When they finally arrived a few streets away from the hotel, Gamo motioned for him to stop.
"Well, I should probably go the rest of the way by myself," she declared and turned to Naoto. "Thank you for today, I really appreciate it."
Naoto shook his head with a wry smile on his lips. "All I did was make an ass out of myself."
"Nah, you didn't," Gamo quickly responded as she leaned toward him with a mock angry look on her face. "Stop talking about yourself that way, or you'll have to deal with me more often from now on."
Naoto suddenly produced the most genuinely, gentle smile that Gamo had ever seen on his face.
"You say that like it would be a bad thing."
The line. Get behind the line! Stop!
"Jeez Paisen," Gamo said, trying to hide the heavy blush on her face by quickly ducking backwards in surprise. "You got over the whole 'hating' me incident pretty quick."
Naoto let out a quiet laugh as he got ready to turn and leave.
"I guess you're right. What you said was right after all. There's a pretty steep road ahead, but if we're both willing to try our best, what's stopping us from being friends? I think I would really enjoy that Gamo-chan. I'd love to be your friend."
Gamo wanted to slap him, just to get him to stop talking. She wasn't sure how much more genuine fluff she could take from this guy before she'd melt.
"Oh and also," he took a step back towards her and suddenly bowed deeply before her. "I apologize for before. I-I'd be happy if you were to c-call me Naoto. O-only of course if you t-think it appropriate!"
Gamo giggled lightly, an immediate red flag she couldn't help but ignore, before replying, "Heh, I am glad to hear it… Naoto…"
She had stepped over the line.