"Naoto, wait!"
Tadano was frantically trying to keep up with his friend who had just shot off the couch and ran to grab his coat.
A brief moment ago, the two had been in a contemplating mood, discussing the possibility of Naoto reconciling with his group of friends he had not seen in a long time and who he had evidently parted on odd terms with.
Tadano assumed, not wrongly, that this was where a lot of Naoto's stranger and more peculiar behaviors had come from. While potentially a scary prospect, returning into the circle of people that ended up changing him in unwanted ways, the chance of gaining peace and closure was definitely something worth pursuing.
Maybe it would help the man recover the pieces of himself he had lost in the past and transform him into someone he would rather be.
All these heavy thoughts were swiftly disregarded after Naoto had read, what Tadano could only assume to be, a text message.
"What's going on?" Tadano asked, trying once again to gain Naoto's attention. It seemed like a wasted effort as his friend didn't even bother to make the time to breathe.
Instead of continuing his pursuit of information by verbal means, Tadano step in front of Naoto and spread out his arms to stop him from going any further.
"Will you just talk to me!?"
Naoto finally paused in his sporadic endeavor to get dressed appropriately for his planned activities, whatever they were, and seemed to finally acknowledge that he wasn't alone in the world.
"H-Huh?" Naoto finally stammered, staring at Tadano in bewilderment. "C-Can you step aside?"
Tadano sternly shook his head. "Uh, no. Tell me what's wrong first!"
Naoto shut his eyes, surprising himself with how he was so quick to bolt without informing his closest friend of what had him so riled up.
"I just got a text from my friend," he answered, trying his best to downplay the severity of the situation. He didn't want Tadano to worry more than he had to. "The one I went to lunch with. Uh, some unfortunate things happened because of our meeting and I want to go help out."
Tadano's eyes narrowed as he stared Naoto down. "Is it going to be dangerous?"
"N-No, no," Naoto reassured him, despite being uncertain himself. "We're just, uh, going to be… looking for someone."
Of course, Tadano wasn't too pleased with his friend's evasive answers.
"Naoto, I respect your privacy at all times, you know that. But if there is something that could spell trouble for you, anything I could help with, please… let me help you."
Naoto threw his head back and let out a defeated groan.
This freaking guy.
"Why are you like this?" Naoto complained in jest. "Always getting in the way of a potential breakdown with your wonderful personality. It's wrong. You need to have some kind of flaw man."
Tadano just smiled back at him with closed eyes. "Oh, I have a ton of those, trust me."
"Could have fooled me," Naoto chuckled before grabbing his coat off the rack. "Alright, if you want to help me, lemme borrow your car."
Tadano's eyebrows both shot up in unison. That was something he didn't expect and Naoto knew it.
His car was practically the most valuable thing the guy owned and cost him an arm and a leg. The idea of just lending it without proper surveillance was like a nightmare to him.
Plus, while Naoto did have a license and was definitely a capable driver, not having his own car and using the public transit system most of the time, meant he didn't have quite the experience with the Tokyo traffic.
"Better idea," Tadano fired back, trying not to let his apprehension show. "What if I drive you?"
Naoto couldn't suppress his laughter. "Man, you're really worried about your baby, huh?"
Tadano waved the idea off, a gentle blush on his face. "T-That's not- Listen- Let's just go!"
Naoto agreed and the two quickly got themselves wrapped up in coats to weather the storm brewing outside.
The two quickly got into Tadano's car, which was parked a couple of feet away from their apartment. The vehicle resembled a black box more than the average car one would imagine, but it made up for being incredibly large and cozy on the inside, which worked perfectly for the band's needs.
Once situated, Naoto provided Tadano with the location that Gamo had sent him of Nagatoro's last know location. After a few seconds, the GPS began guiding their way and the two took off.
Half an hour later, the two had arrived at the given location and Naoto quickly hopped out of the car to begin his search for any potential clues as to where Nagatoro might have ran off to. He had instructed Tadano to wait in the car, in case the need arose for them to make a quick getaway or chase the girl in the case she tried to flee from them on sight.
Unfortunately, as it had been some time since Gamo had given him the coordinates, any and all hints of Nagatoro ever being here were long gone.
Trying to chart the most likely course Nagatoro could have taken, Naoto pulled up a navigational app on his phone and began studying the map. He had found a nice spot below a balcony in the side of the apartment complex besides him, which allowed him to find shelter from the increasingly powerful rain.
On the way to their destination, Gamo had further informed Naoto that Nagatoro was lacking any means of finding her way, due to her phone not being with her. This meant that, if she wasn't completely out of it and thinking at least somewhat straight, the woman should be trying to stay on open and easily navigable roads.
Which didn't give her many options from where Naoto was standing. There was exactly one road he'd consider a prime candidate and it went on for a rather long stretch, before splitting off into anything that resembled a well traveled street, without an atmosphere of danger or isolation hanging over it.
Feeling rather good about his hunch, Naoto quickly sprinted back toward the car in the rain. By now the water was falling so heavily that it felt uncomfortable upon impact with his body, even through the hooded coat he was wearing.
If Nagatoro wasn't similarly dressed, ready for anything the temperamental weather could throw at them, she'd probably be drenched, freezing cold and in more than a little discomfort right now.
He could feel his heart ache at the thought of her sitting alone in the corner of an alley, trying her best to stay warm with nothing more than a shirt to her name.
They had to find her.
Back at the car, Naoto quickly slid the passenger door open and flung himself into the seat.
"Alright, drive down this road right here," he instructed, quickly explaining the route to Tadano on his phone. "If we're lucky, she hasn't reached any of the offshoots yet and we can catch her along the way."
Tadano simply nodded and instantly put the car into drive to continue their pursuit.
Once they were on the main road, it was mostly up to Naoto to keep an eye out and desperately attempt to discern any unique silhouettes within the heavy downpour, as Tadano's eyes were glued onto the street in panic. This was the worst type of weather to be driving in. One moment of slacking off could spell disaster.
A few minutes passed before Naoto started feeling fresh concern filling his mind. Obviously, a lot of time had passed since Nagatoro escaped Gamo's sight and they had only just started following her trail, but what if he had been wrong?
What if Nagatoro had shied away from the main roads and instead opted to take a far more dangerous route through the back alleys, just to stay out of their ways?
Did she even consider the possibility that at this very moment, at least four people were out on the road looking for her?
Was Nagatoro even aware how much she still meant to people, despite all the nonsense she pulled in her life?
Naoto could feel himself growing more fearful and frustrated with each passing second.
If Nagatoro had just been less of a brat in high school, none of this would have been an issue at this moment. Naoto would have happily spent his college years and beyond by her side, without the need for any potential drama or outrageous antics such as these.
The fact that he truly and deeply loved her once, willing to overlook most of her flaws if it meant being by her side, was something that he still couldn't quite come to terms with.
If it hadn't been for that one day, that single action that pushed it too far, he would most likely be living with her right now, waking up next to her tanned face, every morning, to be more than slightly annoyed by her constant jabs and teasing, but never enough to ever let go of her.
He would be a happy man.
And Naoto couldn't help but admit that this is what he hated her for the most. Not the action in and of itself, but the fact that through it, she had ruined the chances the two had at one point.
He wanted to be with her.
That had become a dream of his rather quickly after getting to know her better and realizing that her annoying pranks and mockery were lessening in severity, potentially out of respect toward him.
Yet never enough to think that she really loved him back.
Whenever Naoto thought he could spot a weakness in Nagatoro's armor, just a small crack through which she let her feelings for him shine through, she quickly over corrected her course and emotionally struck him harder than ever before.
It was her way of letting him know that a perverted and gross virgin like him would never be good enough to truly belong into her heart.
She had made that clear so many times.
Then why did she do it?
Why did she go as far as she had done?
Why break the relationship they had established and one she was fully in control of, to do something she had chided him for ever thinking about?
Why did she force him into it, when she considered him disgusting?
Vile?
Gross?
A perverted and creepy failure of a man?
Why force herself upon a man she had broken herself, by telling him this exact thing would never be in his future?
Naoto could never fully lie to himself about that day.
He could never fully claim that what had happened at that moment between them wasn't something he had fantasized about before or didn't want to happen.
But not like that.
Not with a girl that couldn't be honest with herself, let alone the man she was willing to violate over just talking through her feelings.
If she had ever, just once, made the effort to come forward and make herself clear in what she desired of him, Naoto would have willingly given himself up to her, body and soul.
Yet, unable to communicate as it was the case with her, she simply took those things from him, without ever affirming the way she felt to him.
It left him feeling worthless.
A mess of thoughts and emotions, not worthy of being called a 'man' by any stretch of the imagination.
Not good enough to be confessed to, to be told how much his presence meant to those around him.
He was simply an object to be used for the pleasure of it, his own feelings being used to make him comply.
There was no way he could bring himself to harm Nagatoro or force her to stop what she was doing and the girl knew it.
Even the way she had screamed the words 'I love you' over and over, at the very peak of her high, felt like a mere mockery, considering the events leading up that moment.
The second it dawned on her, just how far past the breaking point she had gone, her face had crumbled into a million broken pieces. Without uttering another word, she had fled the scene, unable to even glance at Naoto.
To infer her actions that day would be 'upsetting', would be quite the understatement.
Whether or not Naoto was physically unable to stop himself from enjoying the proceedings, emotionally he had been devastated.
The experience of being viscerally tormented during school, only to be pursuit all the way to his own home, the place he should feel protected from her emotional assault, which then led to an abhorrent physical act, had finally convinced him that Nagatoro was never going to love and respect him the way he did her.
So why was he out here in the middle of an onslaught of torrential downpour, looking for the very girl that had destroyed him so, fearing for her safety?
Why, after every awful and inconsolable thing she had done to him, did he still care so deeply for her?
Maybe he was a creepy and gross loner after all.
Just too stupid to move on with his life.
Desperately longing for the woman that had shattered what little faith he had in himself at one point in his short life.
"I am so stupid…"
Tadano granted himself a quick glance away from the road to look at Naoto, who had gone rather pale in the time they had spent on the road.
"Whats wrong?" he quickly asked his friend, who seemed to have slacked on his own duties of looking out for the person they were after.
Naoto just quickly shook his head. "It's nothing. Just upset with myself."
Tadano wanted so badly to ask him to open up, but knew that pushing past a person's comfort level could often leave to catastrophes.
He would have to wait for the right moment, some point down the line.
Naoto quickly pulled out his phone, wishing to check whether anyone else had made any progress.
Hey Gamo! We're still driving down this road seeing if we can spot her. Did she contact any of you in the meantime?
After hitting send, Naoto began tapping his foot against the bottom of the car, feeling antsy over the entire situation.
He had emotionally exhausted himself by rummaging through his thoughts and just wanted to find Nagatoro and go back home.
Unfortunately not Paisen. Yoshi said she hasn't seen her anywhere near the hotel. She definitely didn't go back, cause Sakura is waiting inside. And I had to rush back to grab our stuff from the restaurant we had been at.
Naoto let out a heavy sigh, a feeling of defeat setting in.
Nagatoro could have gone quite literally everywhere she wanted to.
Considering the fence in that alley proved no struggle for her, he doubted much of anything outside of an armed guard could keep her from going where ever she pleased.
Because of this, it was quite a shock when Naoto could swear he saw a pair of tanned shoulders vanishing behind a building just a few feet ahead of them.
"Tadano, there!" Naoto cried out, pointing directly at the corner he had just spotted what he thought could be Nagatoro.
Tadano wasted no time and instantly sped up as much as the law allowed him to and quickly took the turn.
Along the sidewalk, only a few steps ahead of them was a long set of raven black hair, sticking to it's owner thanks to the heavy rainfall.
Naoto would recognize that hair anywhere.
The man quickly slid his door open and jumped out of the car.
His body acting faster than his mind, he quickly called out to her.
"Nagatoro!"
The woman in front of him came to a stop. Naoto noticed how tense she got.
He had made a mistake.
Naoto took two cautious steps toward her, the sound of his feet disturbing the fallen rain echoing loudly between the two of them.
Nagatoro finally turned her head to look at Naoto over her shoulder.
Her eyes were red and swollen from the well of tears within her that refused to dry out.
Upon spotting him and realizing Naoto had really come to see her, she couldn't help but shrink into herself out of guilt and panic.
Nagatoro could not handle the thought that despite all the monstrous things she had done, he was still out here looking for her, in spit of the horrible weather conditions and how self inflicted her current predicament was.
All this and she still couldn't have him to herself.
Naoto was willing to do all this, but he couldn't love her anymore.
Because she ruined that possibility and there was no going back.
Another bout of sickness, like when she first saw the text message in the restaurant, began rising up within her.
Why couldn't Naoto just be hers!?
That's all she wanted!
Unable to stand the conflicting feelings clawing at her soul, she turned away from Naoto and began running once again.
It was all she could think of doing now.
The only means she had to escape the pain that was eating her up.
Her mind began pounding away at what little hope she clung onto, by reminding her of all the things she desired, yet would never be able to have.
Naoto would never hold her close to his chest.
Naoto would never cup her face in his hands and kiss her gently.
Naoto would never snuggle up to her under the covers and tell her how much he loved her.
Naoto would never marry her, would never be with her and they would never be a family.
Naoto would never forgive her for what she had done to him.
Nagatoro began clutching the sides of her head, the feeling of a jack hammer pounding away at her mind causing her to scream in pain.
She couldn't stop running.
There was nothing good waiting for her if she ever stopped, for even one moment.
What did she expect to have happen when she saw him that night at the concert?
Did she really believe one short conversation over a cup of coffee could potentially get the ball rolling along, allowing them to bypass the massive gap she had created between them?
Did she honestly think that Naoto, or any man for that matter, could ever forgive the appalling act she had forced upon him?
The strain of it all was corroding her very being.
She could feel herself becoming lighter, as if the exhaustion her muscles were experiencing had suddenly been lifted.
Her vision began to become muddled, strange colors and distortion covering up the gloomy reality in front of her.
The sounds, which were already barely reaching her ears, sounded muffled, as if from far away, or from beneath the surface of the ocean.
For one brief, yet bright moment, she thought she heard Naoto call her name again, without a hint of anger or vitriol in his voice.
But that moment passed as her mind forced her to realize that there was no chance in this life or the next that he wanted anything to do with her, for her own sake.
Gamo had most likely called him to ease her own conscious.
This was a favor he was doing for her.
Naoto didn't care for Nagatoro.
She knew this.
How could he?
She was a monster.
It would be best if she just disappeared.
Then maybe her Senpai and Gamo could be happy together.
Another scream escaped Nagatoro, her throat feeling as if it was ripping apart in the process.
There was no way!
She couldn't let that happen!
Naoto belonged to her!
Not in a million years would Nagatoro let another woman get near him.
The mere thought of it caused her unimaginable pain.
Trapped between a part of her that wanted to disappear for the sake of those she treasured and a part that wanted to tear Gamo apart, Nagatoro could feel her sanity slipping.
It needed to stop.
She couldn't face her Senpai like this!
How could he love someone messed up as her!?
Naoto could feel his muscles burning in agony, unable to contend with Nagatoro's ludicrous stamina.
There was no way he was going to catch up to her at this point. Maybe he should just get back into the car and keep up with her that way, try to get her to listen.
And yet, for some reason, Naoto felt incredibly stubborn.
He wanted to chase her down on foot, if only to show himself that, when it came down to it, he could keep up with her and provide support when she needed it.
But why?
Why did he want to do that for her?
There were those nagging questions and doubt again. What did he even want from her?
Why was he out here?
Part of him assumed he had just caught the crazy going around, like everyone else who had somehow ended up encouraging this nonsense.
If his therapists ever found out what he was up to right now, they'd probably refuse to treat him any further, because he was clearly beyond any help.
Despite this, he couldn't see himself quitting, no matter what.
He had to catch Nagatoro and calm her down, explain to her that whatever she thought had happened between her and Gamo wasn't what she was imagining.
But why did that matter?
Why did he want to ensure that Nagatoro knew, for a fact, that he was still available to her?
A feeling of self loathing wiggled it's way into his consciousness as he realized just how much joy the idea of Nagatoro still 'pining' for him, as Gamo referred to it, brought to him.
Definitely crazy.
He had lost his marbles at this point and no one could tell him otherwise.
Maybe he had become a vindictive asshole and he wanted her to continue longing for him, just so he could rub it in once he did find a woman he could see himself with.
Perhaps Gamo was someone that could help him with that after all.
Guilt immediately seeped out of his brain.
That was absolutely low of him to even consider, even for a short moment.
Playing two friends against each other for his own desire at petty revenge was one of the worst possible things Naoto could imagine.
And neither of them deserved that kind of treatment.
No one did.
That would make him no better than the people that had hurt him repeatedly in his life.
Naoto tried putting that aside, as best as he could, and focused once again entirely on keeping up with Nagatoro, who had in the meantime greatly increased her distance to him.
Right as he considered any means he could utilize to catch up to her, she skidded around a corner to sped off down a straight away.
Naoto made the mistake of attempting the same maneuver.
"Nagatoro wai-"
Slipping on a puddle beneath him, Naoto fell onto his side with a disgusting sounding crack. The impact forced all the air out of his lungs, stars began dancing in his vision.
Searing pain almost instantly began spreading through his entire body, as the rain water he was laying in started being soaked up by his clothes.
His heart began pounding at it's confinement, alerting him to his body's need to stop.
Once again, Naoto was reminded how much of a colossal failure he was.
Never able to fight back on his own behalf, nor protect those that he deeply cared for.
He wasn't strong, he wasn't fast, he wasn't all that smart and his artistic skills had long since failed him.
Naoto had told Gamo that he'd help find Nagatoro and bring her back himself if he had to.
He told himself he wanted to make certain that she would be fine and healthy by the end of the night.
But he failed again.
No wonder she always picked on him.
Naoto decided in that moment that it was about time he gave up.
Nagatoro, still pushed to run by the adrenaline rushing through her body, quickly glanced over her shoulder to see if Naoto had gained on her at all.
The sight of him laying motionlessly on the ground, the heavy downpour beating at his still body, made her blood run cold.
The voices in her mind stopped at once.
There was no discourse.
There was no warring over what was right or wrong.
There was only the simple fact that Naoto Hachiouji needed her.
Without another thought, she turned and sprinted back to him.
"Senpai!"
A thousand terrible thoughts were rushing through her brain, all of them surrounding the potential injury Naoto had suffered.
The second she reached him, she fell to her knees to pull him up out of the rain puddle, badly scrapping her flesh in the process, something she took zero note of, partially due the adrenaline doing it's job.
With fresh tears in her eyes, Hayase wrapped her arms around Naoto and began sobbing into his shoulder.
It felt like her entire body would give out on her and soon, both of them would be laying face down on the pavement.
"N-Naoto, I am so sorry…"
Not only had she caused him untold torment, both mentally and physically, now she had also caused him to injure himself while chasing after her, because she couldn't handle her own emotions.
Fueled by the pain, suffering and regret she was experiencing all in this one harrowing moment, the words that had kept her up at night began pouring out without her being able to stop them.
"I am so sorry Naoto! I know I can't-"
Hayase clutched tightly onto his back.
"There's no way I can make up for what I've done. I know I am a disaster. I know I am the absolute worst. I know I do not deserve you. But you have to let me try! I love you so much! I don't want to be without you! I can't-"
Naoto's heart began racing at an unprecedented speed and he couldn't explain whether it was from an oncoming panic attack, or the intense outpouring of emotion from Nagatoro.
Both were likely candidates at this point.
"I can't imagine myself without you! Please, I can't stand the idea of anyone else being by your side! And when I thought-"
A terrible sob escaped Hayase, as the images her mind were conjuring truly tore at her heart.
"I thought you and Gamo would… I know she looks better than me and she is nicer than me and she is strong and funny-"
The tanned woman's breathing became erratic, a sign Naoto was uncomfortably familiar with.
Part of him wanted to reach out and return her ardent show of affection, just to ease her pain.
However, his body quickly reminded him that he had given up on himself.
Not a muscle in his body was willing to cooperate with a failure of a man such as him.
His heart was threatening to explode within his chest.
He couldn't breathe properly.
Was he going to die here?
It sure felt like it.
"I don't want you to fall in love with her!"
Naoto hadn't even truly considered that a possibility.
How could someone like him, unable to even hold a regular conversation with a woman without exploding into a mess of unwanted emotions, fall in love with anyone?
That'd be too cruel.
He would never allow himself to do something like that.
"P-Please Naoto," Hayase whimpered, her face hidden within the crook of his neck. "Give me a chance to love you. Let me show you that I can do better. I'll do anything!"
Naoto was about to try and muster what little strength he had left in himself to answer her, when another voice cut him off.
"Nao-kun!"
Tadano had parked his car in the middle of the road and quickly jumped out of the driver seat to check on his friend.
Nagatoro, still holding tightly onto him was more than a little startled when Tadano managed to pull her away from him through sheer force.
It would seem she wasn't the only one being fueled by an insane amount of adrenaline.
And it wasn't like he meant any offense by it either.
Tadano needed to take a good look at Naoto, just to be sure that he wasn't too badly injured, and Nagatoro was in the way.
Naoto stared straight ahead, making no effort to meet his friend's gaze.
Having been so preoccupied with listening to Nagatoro and trying to find any means to help ease her pain, he had failed to realize his own heart going into overdrive.
And now he was paying the price for it, feeling himself unable to even speak or move his body to let his friend know that he needed help.
Luckily, Tadano was not clueless about his friend's condition and surmised it was most likely another panic attack, possibly more severe than the ones Naoto had previously.
After checking his face and ensuring that there was no blood leaking, indicating any potential wounds he may have accrued during his fall, Tadano turned to address Nagatoro.
"Help me! We need to get him in the car!"
It took the woman a brief moment to collect herself enough to understand what had to be done next.
She nodded and went to the side of Naoto opposite to where Tadano was crouching, enabling them both to quickly lift him up and carry him to the car, where they placed him in the passenger seat.
After buckling him in, Tadano ran to the other side of the car and hopped back behind the steering wheel.
As he put the car back into drive, he was shocked to see Nagatoro still standing next to Naoto, out in the rain.
"What are you doing!?" he yelled at her, a little frustration tinging his voice for once, as his friend's condition was worrying him. "Get in the car!"
Nagatoro met his gaze with absolute confusion.
Why would he even allow her to be near Naoto?
She didn't deserve the opportunity to remain by his side.
"Come on!"
Nagatoro violently bit down on her lip, drawing blood, just to rip herself out of her trance and moved to climb into the back of the car.
The second Tadano was certain that the woman was properly seated, he put the petal to the metal and immediately sped off, back towards their apartment.