A flood warning? Seriously?
Gamo hung her head dejected as she pocketed her phone. This day was getting better by the minute.
Having failed to find any leads on her own in the past hour or so, the redhead felt forced to put her faith entirely into her friend's efforts.
The more time she had spent racing through the now mostly vacant streets trying to spot any sign of Nagatoro, the less hopeful she had become.
What were the odds that she would be able to find anyone in this place, at this time, in this weather?
With no protection from the merciless onslaught of rain, besides her rather light coat, the woman found herself shivering, her hair completely drenched after the events of the night.
It had been about two hours since she had lost track of Nagatoro and had sent out the call to action to everyone. The sun was already on its way down, not like she could spot it behind the heavy rain clouds. Considering the lack of notification from Sakura, the chances of Hayase having returned to the hotel by now was rather low.
Still, if it continued on like this and no one was able to find the tanned woman in time, she had to return on her own, right?
There was no was no way she would willingly remain out here in the hard, cold rain, no matter how hurt she had been by Gamo's actions. Right?
Instead of worrying about that possibility, Gamo decided to simply double her efforts of finding Nagatoro, before it got too late.
Having returned to the restaurant they had dined at, right after establishing their plan of tackling the situation, Gamo was grateful to find that the staff had quickly retrieved their bags to ensure none of their stuff would be stolen and were quite understanding of the predicament Gamo had found herself in.
I guess the scene that Hayase had made definitely made it clear that something awful must have happened.
Even when Gamo went to pay for their food, the owner of the place told her to forget about it and that he simply hoped her friend would be alright.
Sometimes people were really surprising with their generosity. It wasn't something Gamo was used to receiving.
Getting a little worn out from dragging to bags around throughout her entire search, Gamo decided it would be best to make a quick stop at the Hotel and drop their belongings off.
The place was only about fifteen minutes away from her current location and even though it was quite the detour from her search, it seemed more reasonable than carrying all that extra weight with her and lowering the odds of catching Nagatoro if she did manage to spot her.
Gamo had almost completed half of the trek back when she could fell her phone buzzing. She quickly pulled the device out of her pocket, praying that it was some sort of good news.
This is Naoto's friend Tadano. Nagatoro is at our apartment calming down right now. Naoto suffered another panic attack.
Gamo read through the message far more times than necessary, unable to fully grasp the emotions she was experiencing.
Hayase was found and safe for the time being. The relief she should be overwhelmed with right now however, was being drowned out by the concern for Naoto's condition.
That was the second time in the same amount of days that the poor guy had to suffer devastating consequences for their group's foolishness.
Spurred on by her feelings of guilt and concern for the Paisen whose company she enjoyed so much; she began furiously texting back.
Can you please tell me where you guys are? I want to check on them and help as much as I can.
Within less than a minute Tadano responded with their address.
Gamo sprinted the rest of the way to the hotel, making the rest of the journey in half the time she expected.
A ball of people had formed inside the hotel lobby, trying to find shelter from the downpour. Awkwardly shuffling her way through the crowd, Gamo slowly made her way to the elevator, praying that it would show up faster than was the norm.
Once on the fourth floor, Gamo quickly slunk across the hall to the door for room 402 and gently knocked on the wooden frame. Soft footsteps could be heard running to the door, before it was flung open by a disheveled looking Sakura.
After a moment of shock, the blonde began lightly smacking Gamo's arm, the concern tormenting her clearly showing on her face.
"Why would you do that!?" Sakura cried. "I thought you could be Hayacchi!"
Gamo couldn't even muster any protest or irritation at the weak hits that felt more like being tickled than anything.
"I am sorry," the redhead responded, guilt having essentially replaced any other emotion she was hoping to feel today. "But we did find Hayase!"
"You did!?"
Sakura instantly ceased her meager attempts at aggression and instead threw herself into Gamo, wrapping her arms around her friend, relieved sobbing escaping her.
Gamo lout out a heavy sigh, feeling her own emotions being swept up in Sakura's chaotic whirlpool.
"Yeah,' Gamo confirmed, putting her hand on Sakura's back to calm her down. "Paisen managed to find her and she's currently at his place."
Sakura gasped loudly, something that made Gamo chuckle. "She's with Senpai-kun?"
"Yup, sure is," Gamo replied. "I'll be on my way there in a second to check in on them."
Sakura pushed away from her, eyes moist and lips quivering. "I want to come too!"
"I am not sure Paisen is going to be able to take all of that at once," Gamo countered, not wanting to concern Sakura with the truth of Naoto's current condition. "Two of us might already be too much."
Sakura quickly started pouting at Gamo's statement, but it dissipated once she admitted the truth behind the statement to herself.
For the little she knew of Naoto's situation, he seemed pretty mentally fragile. She didn't want to risk hurting him in any way if it could be avoided.
"Alright," Sakura finally gave in. "Go check on them. But if anything goes wrong, you call me immediately."
Gamo nodded, not dreaming of leaving her or Yoshi in the dark. Which reminded her-
"Can you let Yoshi know?" Gamo asked as she walked over to the beds and dropped their bags on Nagatoro's sheets.
"Of course," Sakura quickly replied.
Gamo squeezed Sakura's shoulder in gratitude as she passed her to make her way back out of the apartment.
"I'll let you know once I get there."
Looking out at the steel grey sky, penetrated by nothing but the terrible rain sent down from above, one would rightfully assume that only a maniac had the lack of self-preservation required to drive in such conditions.
Maki Gamou was such a maniac.
Pushing her windshield wipers to the very breaking point, the redhead woman was practically racing through the torrent crashing down on her car, unwilling to let herself be intimidated by mother nature.
It took her a good hour, as well as a few near fatal incidents, but she eventually reached the address Tadano had provided her with.
From the outside, the building looked rather plain, with a few floors and the multitude of windows indicating that Paisen and his group were definitely not the only one living there.
Walking up to the front door, Gamo spotted an intercom system with the apartment numbers listed. If Tadano wasn't trying to mess with her, then number 5 would be the one she was looking for.
Pressing the call button, she could feel herself getting antsy.
Would Hayase even want to see her? Definitely not. Worst case scenario, she could try to bolt again.
But then there was Naoto, who she desperately wanted to support through whatever he was going for, even if it caused minor inconvenience to show her face at this time.
It was somewhat selfish of her, she thought, but she just needed to show Paisen that she was more than willing to be by his side in times of need.
With a discomforting crackle, the intercom came to life.
"Hello?" a voice came from the speaker.
"Uh, I am Gamo," the redhead replied. "I am here to check on Pai- uh Naoto and Hayase."
A sharp buzz came from the system, letting Gamo know that the door had been unlocked. Quickly pushing through it, she was led into a narrower corridor, with multiple mail boxes overflowing at the entrance and a few doors on either side of the hall.
Following the corridor down around a corner, she spotted a flight of stairs at the very end of the hall, as well as apartment 5 on the right side of the path.
To her surprise, the door was already open, beckoning her to enter.
She stepped into a nice, decently sized living room. A comfortable looking, black couch was placed in the very center, facing toward an expensive looking TV which in turn was standing in front of a window directed out toward the city.
The shoes and jackets, most of which had been carelessly tossed around the foyer, indicated that at least four people should be living in here. By the extra clothing, the last one seemed to be a girl.
The little wall next to the entrance seemed to draw a line between it and the kitchen which was built directly into the living room.
As Gamo approached the middle of the room, the man named Tadano entered it through one of the five doors leading out of the living room.
"Hi," he casually greeted Gamo as he came to a halt a few feet away from her. He looked rough. "Naoto is laying in his bed right now to relax for a little."
Gamo simply nodded, feeling like none of the words popping into her mind would be sufficient to build a meaningful sentence.
Tadano accepted her silence and moved to the other side of the couch.
"Nagatoro, your friend is here to see you."
Gamo, spurred on by his action, quickly joined him on the opposite end of the couch to see an absolutely drained and exhausted Hayase laying on her side, arms wrapped tightly around her knees, which were pulled up to her chin.
Her eyelids were only slightly opened, the usual glint of her amber eyes nowhere to be seen. Gamo could see her gaze quickly flick over to her face before returning to the void they had been in moments ago.
"Hayacchi..."
Gamo crouched down next to her, brushed the hair out of her face and cautiously place her hand on the woman's forehead.
Surprisingly, there was no reaction. Gamo had expected some sort of outrage or even a slight bit of protestation, but none came.
"What happened to her?" Gamo asked, not expecting an answer from the universe around her.
Yet Tadano's came regardless.
"She bolted when Naoto approached her. He started chasing her for quite some time. I followed in my car; didn't really want to ruin whatever strange moment they might have had. But maybe I should have."
He turned to look back at the door he had come out of, worry plain to see on his face.
"Naoto stumbled and fell. I am not sure if he is injured, but he definitely had some sort of panic attack. I came around the corner in my car and saw just him on the ground and Nagatoro clutching onto him."
Tadano turned his gaze back to Nagatoro, who was still showing no signs of moving.
"Once we got him back here and all situated, she just kind of collapsed like this."
Gamo removed her hand from Hayase's forehead and looked her over, taking note of the rip in the jeans and the crusted blood covering her knees.
The tanned woman had hurt herself after all, the one outcome Gamo had hoped to avoid.
Luckily it didn't seem to be far more than a surface level scrape that would heal on its own in time.
Tadano moved across the room to the kitchen counter behind the couch and seated himself on one of the stools placed in front of it.
"Are they always like this?" he asked Gamo as he let out a sigh and began staring holes into the ceiling.
Gamo put on a somber smile. "Nah. They used to be really cute together. Hayacchi would always go after Paisen, track him down wherever he was. She'd always say that she's just thought he was funny to mess with, but it was so obvious that she was into him. I'd always try to get a rise out of them, getting them flustered with each other."
"Heh, I know someone like that," Tadano wryly remarked. "Always hatching some crazy schemes to entertain themselves, which most of the time just ended in me frazzled."
The man suddenly grew more serious, as he lowered his gaze back toward Gamo and leaning forward in his seat.
"So, what happened? Like, this isn't normal behavior. Naoto has had social issues for as long as I've known him, but it's never been like this. I mean, two panic attacks back to back? After having none for like two years? Seems like that woman is the reason for them, no?"
Gamo countered his stare, not willing to divulge her best friend's shameful secrets. Discretion would have to be used to ensure only necessary information was shared.
"Well," Gamo began, slightly uncomfortable with the position she had found herself in. "How much has Naoto told you? Do you think it's really fair for me to tell you about this stuff without their input?"
Tadano shook his head, but Gamo wasn't quite sure for what reason.
"I mean, Nagatoro is right there, isn't she?" Tadano countered, pointing toward the couch the woman was resting on. "She can always speak up and stop us if she wants to."
Gamo couldn't quite understand where Tadano's sudden pushiness had manifested from. The guy was usually excellent in terms of his gentle and understanding attitude, so seeing it vanish like this was somewhat off putting.
It seemed Tadano himself noticed the redhead's discomfort with his change in disposition, as he quickly loosened back up.
"Listen," he began. "Naoto is my friend. No, more than that. He's like my little brother. I've felt this need to look after him and protect him when I first got wind of just how problematic his emotional scars are. I've been trying my absolute best to keep him safe and healthy and the idea of someone just randomly butting into his life and ruining all the progress he's made since we've met, really irks me."
Gamo's brow furrowed as she took in Tadano's words. The woman felt like he was a sort of kindred spirit in the desire to look after their friends, yet also couldn't help but see him as a challenger, trying to move in on her turf.
"Listen, I get what you're saying," she replied, trying her damndest to remain calm and amicable. "But the three of us go some ways back, ya know? I've been looking out for them just a little bit longer than you, so-"
"And how is that going?"
Gamo was struck by Tadano's interruption.
The redhead could feel irritation seeping into her system.
"Guess I hit a snag," she countered, the almost unnoticeable hissing in her voice giving her away ever so slightly. "But that doesn't mean I am going to give up on helping my friends or that I am going to give up information to someone else. We're not doctors, I ain't about to hand you some chart and wash my hands of this business."
Tadano lowered his head, not wanting to look at Gamo any longer.
"If you are his friend, then shouldn't you want what's best for him?" he asked, a quiet sigh escaping his lips.
Gamo took a step forward, anger beginning to flood her brain. "I don't claim to know what's best for anyone, but you sure seem to think you know! Pretty arrogant, if you ask me."
Tadano stood up from his seat and looked back into her eyes, his own far less compassionate than when Gamo had arrived.
Before the two could continue arguing, with one of them potentially blowing a fuse, they were stopped by something hitting the floor in front of them.
It appeared to be a bag of... gummy bears?
Both of them looked over to where the disturbance had originated, to find Naoto standing in the doorway to his room, arm still outstretched from the throw.
"Stop being stupid," he addressed them. "Both of you. The hell you think you're doing?"
"Paisen!"
Gamo took a couple of long steps to reach his side. "Are you alright?"
"I am better now," Naoto confirmed while rubbing his temple. "How's Nagatoro?"
Gamo moved to point toward the woman and give her location, but at that moment, Hayase stirred and finally sat up on the couch.
Through her half-lidded eyes, she observed Naoto and Gamo, standing closer than either of them had intended. Gamo noticed the misstep and quickly moved a couple of steps away to increase the distance between them.
Naoto noticed this, of course, but refused to acknowledge it. For some reason, he felt comfortable at this moment. Despite how relentlessly his heart had pushed him to his breaking point, the fact that he was able to recover with Nagatoro in the same place as him, provided him a form of confidence.
"Are you alright Nagatoro?" he asked her directly this time.
The woman evidently didn't expect to be addressed by him as she flinched slightly, before nodding slowly.
"Good," he continued, relief washing over him. He knew what he needed to do next. "There's nothing going on between me and Gamo. We just hung out as friends. You can stop worrying about that."
Gamo wanted to immediately back him up and support his claims, but found herself unable to do so.
Why?
What was stopping her from confirming the truth she knew to be a fact?
Why were his words hurting her in a way she couldn't fully understand?
While Gamo was grappling with her own thoughts, Nagatoro's face became unreadable, as she was struggling with the relief of what Naoto had said, while also trying to cope with the fact that it didn't really change much between him and herself.
The two of them were still on a downward slope, unable to properly function around one another.
Nagatoro hated feeling helpless in her own skin, like all the training and hardships of her life amounted to nothing in this moment.
She was supposed to be able to walk up to Naoto, smack him a few times, call him creepy for just staring at her, almost unblinkingly so and then get him all flustered.
But it would never be that easy again, would it?
Now she had to use her words and tender actions to convey her feelings and intent. It was horrifying.
Nagatoro knew that she sucked at that kind of communication. Telling anyone, at any point in time, how much she cared about them, was always going to go poorly for her.
When trying to express herself in a 'healthy' manner, she would always clam up, while the voices in her mind would urge her to lash out and belittle those seeking her validation.
Naoto was the only one to have ever gotten that close to seeing her true self breaking out of its shell.
And when the part of her had threatened to come to light, Nagatoro just cracked under it all and forced herself onto the man of her dreams, wanting to let her actions speak for themselves, so that her heart could remain guarded.
It had been the worst mistake of her life and the regret never faded, not even for a moment.
"I-I am sorry..." Nagatoro stammered out, absolutely infuriated by the lack of control over her quivering voice. Gamo should never be allowed to see her like this.
"You said that already," Naoto replied, not wanting to risk a repeat of her emotional outpour in the rain. Especially not in front of the other two.
But Nagatoro tried to push past her own discomfort. "I know. I just need you to know I mean it. I'll say it a thousand more times if I have to."
"Why does it matter?" Naoto asked, moving back to lean against the wall next to his room. "Say I believed you were sorry; then what?"
Nagatoro pursed her lip, knowing that he was looking to control the exchange, something she had always been in charge of.
"When- I, uh, I guess if you f-forgive me... I'd be... so happy if..."
Gamo and Tadano both began feeling incredibly awkward about the situation. Not only were they in the middle of a pretty intense and emotional moment, but for Gamo, who never witnessed Hayase leaving herself so vulnerable for another, it was scary to watch.
"If we, what? Can be together?"
Naoto looked at her sternly, yet without any real malice to him. It genuinely seemed as if he was simply trying to understand what Nagatoro was trying to accomplish.
Nagatoro could feel her face heating up. She clutched at the side of her pants, digging her fingernails through the fabric and into her legs, trying her hardest to forget about the two spectators.
"Y-Y-Yeah..."
Gamo shut her eyes tightly, not daring to look at the slowly approaching melt down that would surely transpire.
There was no way that either Naoto nor Hayase would make it out of this exchange whole and well.
Tadano was completely in shock at the strange conversation he was listening in on. He knew that they had been friends before, but Naoto never fully elaborated on their relationship, so how did it come to this so quickly?
Naoto took a step forward and finally broke the uncomfortable silence.
"Nagatoro, do you really think that's the right direction to take for us?"
Hayase stared at him quizically.
It's the only thing she had ever wanted. Why wouldn't it be the right direction?
"After what you did to me," Naoto continued, not breaking eye contact for even a moment. "Do you think I could bring myself to love you again?"
Nagatoro's eyes bulged in horror at the implication.
There was no way he would just shoot her down like that.
It was too cruel.
"Please!" Nagatoro cried out, feeling desperation taking a hold of her. "I-I know that I messed up everything. I've learned my lesson, I've become better. Please, let me try again. Give me another chance!"
Naoto continued to stare her down coldly.
"There are no second chances at your first time."
Nagatoro froze in abject horror, not having expected such a casual reminder of their cataclysmic moment.
Gamo herself winced at the mention of the event, shocked by how calm Naoto sounded while talking about it.
Tadano, while not in the loop like the rest of them, was good enough at reading the room to understand that the tension had gone critical.
"I've been trying my hardest to forget you and the shit you did to me," Naoto explained, refusing to give Nagatoro a chance to avert her eyes. "For years, I'd wake up crying, drenched in sweat, the nightmares of you making me wish I could just stay awake forever. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without finding hundreds of reasons to hate myself. All them flaws and weaknesses you had picked apart and tormented me with."
Nagatoro's entire body began shaking, her lips were pressed up so hard against one another that the color had fully drained from them. Standing on the precipice of her own breakdown, she tried to pile on the inner defenses, feeling like death was a far more pleasant experience than bursting into tears in the presence of these onlookers.
Unfortunately for her, Naoto wasn't finished yet.
"My inability to stand up for myself when it really mattered drove me nuts. I should have stopped you. There were so many moments when I could have just pushed you away, or screamed my lungs off to make you understand. But I didn't. Because I was stupid. Because I had feelings for you, I let you carry on, in the hopes you would like me more if I just kept enduring it. That was so messed up of me. I should have known better. You don't treat someone like that if you truly care about them!"
Naoto, fueled by his long-held rage coming to the surface, slammed his fist into the wall besides him, causing Gamo and Tadano to jump in shock.
Neither of them had ever seen their friend behave in such a manner and it felt so alien.
It wasn't right.
Nagatoro merely continued staring at him, fearing that any kind of exertion of herself would lead to an emotional breakdown.
"So, try again Nagatoro," Naoto demanded, the reddened flesh of his hand pulsating in pain. "Tell me again how sorry you are and how much you love me."
The deafening silence permeating in the room didn't last long, as Naoto bent down and began rolling his pant legs up.
Gamo was quite perplexed, only able to mumble, "W-what are you..."
But the three soon understood as the jean fabric rose higher and higher, eventually revealing fine lines almost completely covering Naoto's upper legs and thighs. The ever so slightly elevated markings on his skin, some pale as bone and others a dark red, forced a strained gasp out of Gamo.
"P-Paisen..."
"I was so disgusted with myself," Naoto explained with his pants still rolled up. "I was so sick of the fact I let myself be taken advantage of that I want to cut my own skin off. Every time I thought of the way you touched my legs; I could feel bile rise up in my throat. I wanted remove the pieces of me that were taken against my will."
Tadano stumbled forward, having put all the pieces together, but deeply wishing he hadn't. His friend was hurt in such a cruel and horrendous way and now the perpetrator was in their home, having even slept on their couch.
The words he and Komi had provided him with repeated in his mind as he realized what he had pushed his friend to do.
But despite Tadano's sudden doubts about his own advice, Naoto felt no such thing.
Letting the fabric in his hand fall back toward the ground, Naoto began walking toward Nagatoro, being cautiously watched by both of his friends who were unable or perhaps simply not willing to comprehend what was going on.
"Do you think you can make this right Nagatoro?" Naoto asked as he now stood only a foot away from her. "Forget an uphill battle, you'd most likely never manage to make up for what you've done or truly ease the pain you left behind. Is that something you even want to bother with? Do you really want to take on that responsibility? Are you sure you are capable of that? Or are you just going to get bored of me and toss me aside? If so, you can just leave. Walk out the door and forget I exist. Let me forget you and move on with my messed up life."
Nagatoro stood firm, yet undoubtedly shaken.
This side of Naoto was something she had never seen before. Confrontational, assertive and willing to cut her deep, where he knew it would hurt.
The irony of seeing the man she was hoping to help turn him into before her, only for his new found inner strength to be used against her, was not lost on Nagatoro.
Watching her hazel eyes overflowing with a mix of excruciating emotions, Naoto shook his head, a discontent sigh passing his lips.
"But if you want to stay, if you want to show you've truly grown and are remorseful for your actions, you got a long, bumpy road ahead of you. Everything will have to start from scratch. No more hiding behind childish behavior. No more lashing out because you can't handle yourself like an adult. If you want to try and fix what you broke, you better be willing to put your all into it."
Nagatoro's eyes widened in surprise. Gamo and Tadano both had similar reactions, for different reasons.
Naoto's face betrayed no emotions, but the message seemed clear enough. His eyes still fixed on Nagatoro's, he raised one of his eyebrows, challenging her to respond.
Was this real?
Could it be that Naoto was willing to give her a chance to redeem herself in his eyes?
Could she get back the most precious thing in her life and move on together from there?
Would those three horrific years of her life be worth it in the end when the two of them were finally together?
"What do you want me to do?" the tanned woman asked, the rhythm of her breathing becoming uncontrollable.
Naoto cocked his head and stared at her through narrowed eyes, as if to gauge whether her response was just an act. Somehow deeming his findings to be satisfying, he just nodded.
"I want you to calm down, first of all," Naoto explained, gesturing in her general direction. "You're almost more of a nervous wreck than me, how is that even possible?"
Nagatoro's face quickly reddened, the sensation of being on the receiving end of his mild jab feeling beautifully nostalgic.
She straightened herself out and wiped her eyes clear of any left over tears. A big, albeit largely fake grin appeared on her face.
"Guess you're right Senpai," she laughed, despite wanting to cry out of happiness.
A chance, that is all she needed.
One shot to prove herself to be capable of genuinely loving and caring for the man she loved. No matter how long it took or how hard it was, she would convince him that he could fully entrust himself to her.
Tadano was the first to recover from the shock of the proceedings.
"N-Naoto, are you sure?" he asked his friend, who was still standing awfully rigid. "I don't want you to get hurt."
Naoto turned toward his friend and flashed him a sheepish smile, something he hadn't seen from him in a long time.
"I am sorry for being selfish Tadano," Naoto replied. "But if I end up needing more help, I hope it's okay to be relying on you."
Tadano groaned, but couldn't help himself smiling back regardless. "Of course, Naoto."
Gamo felt like she was held together by a thin thread, bound to rip at any moment.
This was the best case scenario for their strange family, after all.
Naoto and Hayase, potentially able to mend what was once broken, even if it would be an unbelievably challenging process.
So why did she feel like throwing up?