Hayase took a deep, painful breath. Her mind felt like it was on the brink of shattering, yet she refused to bow to the budding insanity. The voice inside of her was screeching in agony, trying to tear her down alongside it.

Not today.

Not ever again.

The infirmary they were in was dead silent, none of the people present willing to make a sound.

Naoto and Gamo were sitting side by side, at the foot of the bed Hayase was resting in. Orihara was standing farther away, unsure if she should even be here anymore. The poor woman had not been ready for the revelations and heavy topics involved in this lover's quarrel. Chewing her nails seemed as if it was the best method to suppress the awful anxiety she was experiencing.

Hayase exhaled and picked up the phone resting in her lap. She turned it around in her palm, examining the chrome looking device, trying to wrap her head around the fact that it filled so many people with dread.

Nobody liked making phone calls.

This one was going to be exceedingly awful.

Hayase unlocked the phone and navigated to her LINE app. With shaky fingers, she carefully tapped away at the screen, adding both Yoshi and Sakura to a conversation. Sucking in air through her teeth, Hayase pressed the phone icon, initiating the call.

The ringing would forever be etched into the woman's mind. The awful moments of anticipation, each beating of her heart followed by another shrill, digital vibration.

Hang up.

It was so tempting.

It would be so easy.

Just keep going as she had been.

Hayase shook her head, physically revolting against her mental assaulter. It would find that it had no hold over her.

"'sup Hayacchi!"

Hayase's eyes widened in panic. Too soon. It came too unexpectedly.

Sakura's light hearted, yet low and sultry voice trilled through the speaker, filling her with dread.

This was it. No more turning back.

"H-Hey Sakura," Hayase said glumly. "I h- We gotta tal-"

"Heeeeeeeey~"

With a blip and a energetic greeting, Yoshi had joined the call as well.

Hayase cringed at the situation that she was about to throw herself into.

Stop.

Hayase glanced across the room and was shocked to find a warm, supportive gaze directed at her from Naoto.

This world truly didn't deserve him.

"Girls," Hayase started again, lifting her hand to cover her forehead. "W-We need to talk."

"What's wrong hun?" Sakura asked soothingly, almost causing Hayase to choke up. She didn't deserve that.

Hayase grit her teeth and shut her eye, uncertain on how to take the plunge. "I- I messed up. Bad. I- I haven't been honest with you."

There was a moment of silence, before Sakura talked again. "About what? What did you do?"

"I-"

Hayase's voice broke and her thoughts trailed off, tumbling deep into an abyss without any hope for escape. How in the world was she supposed to tell them?

They'd hate her. They'd despise her.

Hang up.

"I h-hurt Naoto," she stammered weakly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Stop!

"Huh!?"

Sakura's voice had instantly changed to one of worry and horror. "What happened Hayase!? Is he okay!?"

"It wasn't today," Hayase explained, trying to keep herself from screaming out loud in panic.

More silence followed. Hayase dared not imagine what Sakura was envisioning on her end of the phone. That being said, was there anything viler than the truth?

"What happened?" Sakura asked again, this time sounding far more collected, as well as reserved. It frightened Hayase. As if her friend was no longer on her side, which she knew to be the truth.

"I- We-" Hayase staggered, unable to take the next step. Her eyes grew large and her hands began shaking violently, as if saying the words out loud was about to put an end to her existence.

Was it possible to wriggle her way out of this situation without losing everything she had ever thought of as constant in her life?

Again, she sought out Naoto's gaze and found it urging her ever onward, nothing but confidence for her in it.

"It was during the final year of high school," she finally sputtered out. Part of her felt relief at the prospect of removing this horrible barrier between herself and her friends. The other parts knew that this barrier was all that kept them in her life. "I- I did something.. horrible."

"What did you do?" Sakura instantly demanded to know; all warmth having left her voice.

There was no way to sugar coat the truth. No way to soften the fall that was about to imminently break their friendship apart. Hayase knew this, yet she desperately tried to search her mind for any potential way to dilute the very evil that she had committed. Coming up short, she clenched her jaw as she felt the truth glide uncomfortably down her tongue.

"I-"

Stop!

"I did..."

You will ruin everything!

"I forced myself on him," Hayase said, as matter of factually as she could, unable to look anywhere into the room, out of fear of accidentally meeting any other person's gaze. "I- I wanted to tease him, like any other time. Just mess with him. But I lost control, and I- I-"

"You raped him?" Sakura asked in a quiet, broken whisper. Hayase felt tears welling up in her eyes, while Nagatoro screamed incoherently inside her mind.

"I- I did."

There was a soft gasp, more silence, and a horrendous aching within Hayase's heart.

She knew this was a necessity. It was their right to know that the person they had been associating with was a monster deep down. Despite this, she couldn't help the searing pain upon her heart. Her lungs failed her, seemingly wishing that she would drown in her own sorrow.

Gasping for air, Hayase wished that Sakura would say anything, just to relief her from this horrible silence.

"How could you?" the soft, shaking voice of her friend asked. "He loved you."

Hayase flinched, as if she had been punched in the gut. She did not need a reminder of what she had lost alongside her control.

"I know..." she answered feebly, not attempting to hide her shame. "I- I've been regretting it, every single day of my l-"

"That's why he left," Sakura cut her off, putting two and two together for herself. "I knew something was fishy when he just suddenly dipped without saying anything. You-"

There was a tranquil fury in the woman's voice. Hayase felt her throat close up as she felt her worst fears realizing.

"How can you even live with yourself!?" Sakura suddenly shouted, taking Hayase off guard. "I- Like I get you had a rough time expressing yourself, but- Hayase!"

The tanned woman shrunk under the accusatory tone. This was just what she feared. It was exactly what the voice had attempted to shield her from. Yet, it was needed. It was right. She should be put down into the ground.

"That's-" Sakura started before cutting herself off momentarily. "All this time. You lied to us. You kept going as if nothing happened. That's unbelievable. How? How could you even do that? How can you sleep at night? You disgust me."

Hayase felt the tears roll down her cheek as she let the wave of nausea wash over her.

"And you still tried to get back with him!?" Sakura continued, evidently seeing red hot. "The hell is wrong with you! You should be as far away as possible from him! Why in the world does he put up with you!?"

"I- I don't know either," Hayase managed to stammer quietly. She honestly had no idea.

"You're lucky he never spoke up about it," Sakura added viciously. "Let alone brought charges against you. Poor guy probably has some warped, messed up view and thinks he owes you something. I can't believe you are so rotten. And then you had the audacity to argue with Maki just because she- Wait."

Hayase braced for the moment the other shoe would drop.

"She knew this whole time, didn't she?" Sakura asked, her loud and open disgust having suddenly turned quiet and even more lethal. "That's why she was always looking after you. Why she was so worried when she found out we had met him. She kept pushing your buttons about it, calling you out- Holy shit."

Hayase cautiously glanced at Gamo under a lidded eye, surprised to find a rather even expression.

"Did she do anything to him!?" Sakura suddenly blurted out.

"No!" Hayase immediately replied, not wanting to have her friend associated with her mess. "She- She just helped me cope."

"Cope with what!?" Sakura fired back right away. "That you assaulted Naoto? Who helped him cope!? You're both sick!"

Hayase pressed her lips together until it hurt. This was actually worse than what she had anticipated. Now Maki was paying for her mistakes as well.

"Sakura, I-" Hayase tried to speak, but what was there to say?

"Don't," Sakura cut her off regardless. "Just don't. I- Oh my god. I can't believe I was rooting for you. Either of you. I- I am going to vomit. Don't talk to me again. Lose my number. I can't believe you. Monster."

A sudden beep informed Hayase that Sakura had hung up. Another followed, telling of the woman leaving the chat entirely.

Hayase stared at the phone, her expression hollow, void of any true emotion. She felt numb. It was as expected, yet somehow worse and at the same time not nearly enough. There had to be more punishment for what she had done. More pain was required to sate her desire to be held accountable.

"This isn't real, right?"

Hayase felt herself choking up. While being verbally decimated by Sakura, she had completely forgotten that Yoshi had also been part of the call.

"You're lying, right?" Yoshi tried again, wishing beyond hope that what she heard was all a terrible joke. "Please."

"Y-Yoshi," Hayase tried to find a means to anchor her mind, but she felt herself slipping, the voices gaining some ground.

A rather swift movement in the room snapped Hayase out of her trance and she glanced at Gamo walking up to stand beside her.

"She's not lying Yoshi," Gamo spoke, her voice rueful and soft. "I am sorry."

There was a palatable silence during which Hayase was hoping that Yoshi couldn't find it in herself to hate them, abandon them even.

But that hope was dashed as soon as another beep announced that Yoshi had hung up as well.

They all remained still and silent for a moment, before Hayase simply dropped the phone back into her lap, clasping her hands above it.

"I am sorry Maki," the woman said emotionlessly. "I didn't mean to ruin your friendship too."

Gamo shook her head, looking across the room and out the window. "I knew this was coming. If there is one thing, I cannot blame you for, is how stupid I was to keep this secret of yours for as long as I have. That's on me."

Hayase swallowed roughly as she stole a glance at Naoto, who was staring at the two women with a mixture of pity and what she could only describe as curiosity.

Hayase couldn't even fully comprehend what had just happened. After having viewed her friends akin to her siblings for all these years, they had now cut ties with her. It was understandable, she couldn't fault them for it. But it burned nonetheless. She wanted to cry and scream, kick the walls down and break everything she could get her hands on.

But she knew that was the voice speaking. It wasn't what Hayase desired. It was Nagatoro's wish to sow more chaos.

Hayase clutched onto the edges of the blanket, trying to regain full control of herself. It was so difficult. The sensation of fighting for dominion in your own mind was a terrifying one. All it took was one well timed slip up, and she would return to the monster that had cost all this pain in the first place.

And now, there seemed fewer reasons than ever before to remain in charge.

"You did good."

Hayase stared at Naoto in disbelief. How could he try and praise her, for admitting to the horrors she had wrought upon him? Theirs was a truly twisted connection. It felt so unreal, so ridiculous, that Hayase actually felt herself grinning, despite the hot tears still staining her face.

Gamo stood next to Naoto as he mulled over which of the drinks the vending machine offered, he would prefer. It seemed to be a truly insurmountable challenge, as the man had been contemplating the decision for some time now.

Yet, Maki didn't press him. It was apparent to her, that this was a means of stalling for time. Time for what? She wasn't yet sure. Maybe he just needed to sort his thoughts, lay out a path for himself, now that this one lie had been exposed.

Gamo wouldn't claim to truly know. What she did know, was that she refused to leave his side, for even a moment. Despite, or maybe because of, how much force he had shown earlier, when it had been required to push Hayase to her breaking point, he appeared so fragile to her. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, holding him close to her chest and take any worries he might have had away from him.

Sometimes she worried she was being too overbearing, always trying to shield him from the slightest of inconveniences. She didn't want him to see her as overprotective and bothersome. Then again, how could anyone blame her? With all that had happened to him, all the awful misfortune he had endured in his relatively short life, she just wanted to shield him for the remainder of it.

Having finally come to a verdict, Naoto inserted a handful of coins into the vending machine and selected an orange soda for himself.

"Did you want something?" he quickly asked Gamo.

The woman shook her head in silence, content with simply watching him take a satisfying sip from his own beverage.

To her, Naoto was the goofiest, most adorable weirdo in the world. Just watching him drink something brought her joy.

She was down bad.

"So," she said, trying to keep down a blush. "What's the next step?"

Naoto raised a brow as he swallowed another sip. "For what?"

"Hayase?" Maki asked puzzled. "We wanna do something about this, or...?"

"Not much to be done," Naoto said in a contemplative tone. "She took a rather huge step just now, I'd say. Alienating herself from those she considered her closest friends like this should be awful enough. No need to overdo it."

Gamo guessed that was a decent enough point. Yet, she felt it odd, that Naoto was essentially coaching her on how to deal with the guilt born from what she had done to him. It made her furious.

Why was he so kind? To her, of all people?

Naoto had every right to be a horrible jerkass. Someone who would prioritize his own well being and benefit above all else. But he wasn't. He chose to do the good deed each time. It was enough to drive her crazy.

She also loved him for it, she had to admit. Always finding some good, even in the worst of people. Trying to do his best to see things from their perspective, even if it was the most warped view anyone could have.

Was that the only reason she even managed to get this close to him in recent time?

"Well," Naoto suddenly hummed. "I have to return home tomorrow. Tadano needs his car back."

"I see," was all Maki was able to reply. It irritated her, that each time they were able to meet, some sort of crisis had to occur, ruining the chance of them growing closer.

Naoto could see the frustration in her features. Before he could think better of it, he took a step forward and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Heat immediately rose to Gamo's cheek and all she could do to maintain composure is put on a grumpy facade, huffing and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"D-Don't do that," she scoffed, trying to look annoyed. "You always mess with me. I am strong, but even I got a breaking point."

Naoto smiled brightly at her, as if he was fully ignoring her attempt at appearing hard and cold, and she hated to admit, it made him even more adorable.

"Stop!" she chuckled, unable to remain serious in the face of his genuine sweet smile. "I am serious, you dork."

"I know you are," Naoto bemoaned, the bright shine never fading from his features. "And I feel awful for it. But what can I do?"

Gamo's lips lifted into a twisted smirk as she leaned closer toward Naoto, speaking in a sultry growl. "You could just call me your girlfriend right now."

As Maki had hoped for, Naoto's face flushed with a scarlet hue. Despite his relatively relaxed behavior within her presence, the redhead always found herself capable of flustering him regardless. It didn't necessarily require any overly bold language or behavior, it was more in the way Gamo chose to use her voice, as well as her eyes.

The young woman had been able to discern rather early on, that Naoto, in lieu of everything he had to endure throughout his life, had a particular weak spot for whenever Maki spoke in a low, commanding tone. She wasn't certain if that was a sign of how damaged he had been by the trauma of the past, or if he was just a glutton for more punishment, yet she was more than willing to use this knowledge to her advantage regardless.

Gamo was almost willing to bet all that she owned, that if she were to simply pressure Naoto, using a rough and domineering tone to demand his undivided love and attention, something within him would eventually break, force him to melt beneath her and give his all to her.

Would that make her just as awful a person as Hayase though?

Gamo was truly unable to tell. It scared her. Naoto, despite all of his strengths and unwavering willpower, was still rather fragile, if the right buttons were to be pushed.

She knew it. He knew it.

That made any attempt at a powerplay she wanted to make seem dangerous in her mind. She wanted nothing more than to dominate his thought, cloud his mind until she was all he could think of, yet the lengths she would have to go to for that outcome frightened her. Never would she dare to harm him. It was unthinkable.

Thus, feeling her playful nature dissipating, the woman straightened herself out and waved Naoto off, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "That's what I thought."

To her displeasure, she found Naoto suddenly frowning, his eyes fixated onto a point on the wall behind her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned that her actions may have done any harm.

"I-" Naoto opened weakly, only further tightening the knot Gamo felt in her stomach. "I am awful, aren't I?"

Gamo had to perish her deep seated desire to embrace and smother him right then and there, knowing that constant coddling would not do much to help his fragile state in the long run. Whatever demons the man was battling at this moment, he would have to lay out plainly for her to understand, before she could stop his struggle.

"What makes you say that?" Gamo questioned, trying to sound detached. She was anything but.

Naoto's eyes flickered with something akin to despair. "Hayase just dealt with all of that, yet here I am, ignoring her pain. Flirting."

Gamo at once felt her heart aflutter at the mere fact he was willingly acknowledging their interaction as flirting, while also experiencing bitter anger at the fact that, once again, Hayase was standing between her and what she desired most.

This wasn't just pettiness, right?

Gamo needed validation, lest her fury would consume her.

"She did that to herself," Maki spoke without a hint of pity. "We're both morons for caring so much, but you especially. When will you understand that you have nothing to feel responsible for? The fault lies entirely with her. Stop trying to do what's best for her."

"I know, you must be frustrated with me," Naoto replied.

But all that Gamo could consider in that moment was how much frustration Naoto had to have been experiencing with her. Here she was, claiming to be in love with him, desiring nothing but the best for him, yet she was still involved with and concerned about the well being of Hayase.

In the end, Maki was betraying them both.

When would this fracture between them mend? Would they be able to truly overcome this strange tension between them all, or would something have to give and break?

"Orihara is honestly a saint," Naoto abruptly changed his tune. "I would have been worried to leave Hayase all alone after that."

Maki thought back to the deafening silence, after all had been said and done. Orihara, having been unexpectedly thrown into a world of madness she had little connection to, was surprisingly silent and contemplative. All she did was stare at the three of them, evidently measuring each of them individually. After a long time, she had asked Naoto for a private conversation, during which she wanted to know why he was here, checking on Hayase, if what she just heard was true. Obviously, it was a complicated and nasty business, making it impossible to fully explain in a short timeframe.

Orihara, surprisingly, didn't seem to judge his delusional mental state and simply said she would accept it, if it was what he wanted, even if she could not understand it. Thus, when Naoto asked Orihara to keep an eye on Hayase, out of fear what she may do to herself, if left to her own devices, the woman reluctantly agreed.

"Although, I feel bad for getting her involved," Naoto admitted.

Gamo groaned while palming her forehead. "Again, you're acting as if that's your fault. It's not. She chose to stay, Hayase chose to talk. Not. Your. Fault."

"Right," Naoto said with a weak, insincere smile.

Gamo was going to lose her shit.

"I'll kick your ass, I swear," she growled quietly, forcing a chuckle out of him