Time never stopped, never slowed. Not for anything or anyone.
Despite the painful, gut wrenching situation they had witnessed on Saturday, Naoto and Maki were forced to return to the regular, mundane flow of life almost immediately. There was no time to recover, no room to contemplate or think of further actions.
The flow of time was impartial, never willing to lend an ear to those begging for its mercy.
Hours began fading, days ran into one another, yet the wounds left on their hearts never mended. Such was the fate of those without the freedom to just stop and take in the world around them.
How much would it take, for the scars to heal? How much time would need to pass for the fog to lift from before their eyes?
No, that wasn't right.
Naoto glanced at the notes he had been taking, unsatisfied with what was staring back at him. He felt like a hack. There was no heart or soul. Bland. That's the only way to describe the dreck he had put to virtual paper. With a sigh, the artist tossed his phone onto the couch besides him, before he began pacing up and down the room.
It was no good. His mind wasn't focused enough to erupt with the creativity required to produce a work of art. Each attempt at a new piece was met with abject failure.
Naoto glanced up at the clock, almost silently ticking life away above the kitchen counter. It would be another fifteen minutes, at least, before his friends and band members would arrive to ease his suffering. It was clear that as he was, he'd produce naught of value all by himself.
With another, exaggerated sigh, Naoto walked back to the couch to retrieve his phone. With deft fingers, he unlocked the device and navigated to his messages. Second from the top, Orihara had written him, assuring him that Hayase was doing well enough. Despite the two of them having very little interaction with each other during their time in high school, Orihara had promised to keep in touch with Naoto, if only to keep any fears of his assuaged.
At the top of his messages was Gamo, asking him how the progress on his music had been going. Naoto rubbed his temple, feeling an oncoming headache. There was much to be done.
Allowing himself the small pleasure of staring out the window, Naoto found himself smiling at the red leaves of the single tree, standing defiantly outside their apartment building. Fall was now in full swing, bringing with it a comfortable chill, while displaying natures artistic side. For that reason alone, it had always been Naoto's favorite season.
Watching the beautiful colors speckled throughout the world at this time of year was one of the few reasons Naoto clung onto life. It was awe inspiring, each and every time.
It almost felt like a taunt, a dare, from mother nature herself, for Naoto to end his life and miss out on the beauty she was willing to share with him.
If Time was a merciless, unforgiving monstrosity, then the lush beauty of nature was a generous kindness, willing to come to Naoto's aid at his lowest points. Which he was grateful for, because he needed it.
The phone vibrated in his hand, forcing his attention to gather once again. Naoto's eyes flicked down onto the screen, displaying an image of Gamo in the locker room of her family's gym. The woman was smirking at him, a boisterous spirit flaring up within her eyes. She was throwing up a victory sign with her fingers, indicating that she had defeated another competitor coming to claim some prestige in the ring with her. The woman had become rather well known it would seem, something that Naoto couldn't help but feel strangely proud of.
It made him feel warm inside.
That and the fact that in the picture Maki sent, she was rather underdressed. Despite the image cutting off above her chest, Naoto could tell she was wearing what amounted to little more than a sports bra, showing a lot of slightly reddened skin, which was glistening with the sweat sticking to it.
It took more willpower than Naoto would ever admit to minimize the picture and start typing.
Great job Maki!
Feeling his face heating up, Naoto made his way to the kitchen sink to fill up a glass with ice cold water, hoping to stop the warmth from growing out of control. Maybe he should just stick his head under the sink. That'd speed up the process.
Before he could bring the rim of the glass to his lips, he felt the phone vibrate once more. He quickly glanced at the message.
You should praise me more. Call me a good girl~
Naoto almost dropped his phone. His eyes widened, his pulse quickened and he had to swiftly place the device onto the counter.
Pressing his lips tightly together, Naoto quickly splashed the contents of the glass onto his own face.
This woman was too much.
After having regained some semblance of control over his breathing, Naoto retrieved a small towel from one of the drawers and dried his face with it.
Gamo was going to be the death of him one of these days. It was beyond apparent that she was pushing him harder than ever before toward a decision in her favor, something that he was ashamed to be admit, he was rather weak to. Her constant teasing, intimate messages and even more daring photos she had been sending him over time had managed to tear down a lot of the defenses he had tried to build, to remain as neutral as possible.
Then again, how could he still claim himself to be neutral when he had very definitively pushed Hana out of his life, if only for her own sake. He still felt like the bottom of the bin, akin to the scum of the universe, whenever he recalled the way, her voice had broken that night. Never would his mind allow him to forget the tenderness with which she said his name for the very last time, before leaving his life.
Unwilling to let himself be dragged into any sort of despair, Naoto focused back on the situation at hand. With a swift motion he retrieved his phone and replied.
You didn't earn all that.
Naoto smirked. A little push back would be unexpected to her. Maybe she'd feel embarrassment for requesting such an outrageous thing, allowing her to feel the same way she caused him to feel at all times. It wouldn't do for him to constantly lose his cool due to her attempts at flustering him, so he had earned this victory.
Self satisfied, Naoto refilled the glass with water and then strutted over to the couch to take a seat. A few more minutes and he would hopefully have the whole band with him. That would make this so much easier.
Once again, a buzzing caused Naoto to glance at his phone, with a victorious grin on his face this time. He opened the device, expecting some form of sheepish message, wiggling her way out of the embarrassing situation she had put herself in.
What he wasn't expecting, was a picture of a bare chested Maki, her flushed face hidden behind her hand, the view cutting off just shy of actually showing anything too tantalizing. Below it, attached to the image was another message.
How about now?
Naoto instantly flipped his phone around and let it fall the floor.
Nope.
That was enough for the day.
Gamo bit her lower lip and slammed her head against her locker. The immediate onset of dizziness clued her in on how bad of an idea that had been. The woman's heart was racing in her chest, which she had once again covered after taking, what was hands down, the wildest picture there had ever been of her.
A groan escaped her throat as she covered her eyes, feeling the heat radiating from her cheeks only growing more intense with time. She lowered herself onto the bench behind her, letting out a nervous chuckle, forcing herself to peek at the phone in her hand.
Yup. It sent. Aaaaand he saw it.
Gamo dropped the phone and covered her face with both of her hands. Despite the conflicting and intense emotions rising up within her, she found herself grinning wildly.
What the hell was Naoto doing to her? Maki had done many stupid things in her life, but never before did she feel the need to flaunt herself like this. Obviously, she loved him. And being physical intimate with him would most certainly be part of their relationship. Or so she hoped. But never had Gamo been someone to just-
Wait, that wasn't quite right. She did this before. Even back in high school, like the time at the beach, or when she and Yoshi ran into Naoto without Hayase to shoo them off. The more she contemplated it, the more it became apparent that Gamo had actually always been overly eager for Naoto to get physical and a good view of her.
The redhead wanted to sink into the ground. It was embarrassing to become fully aware just how long she had been into him, despite her dishonesty with herself.
And why hadn't he replied yet!?
Call me a good girl~
Gamo considered if she should just give up on life right then and there. She was so undeterrably convinced that it would break Naoto, that the young man would falter and instantly do as he had been told.
Nope. Of course not. He'd have to push back on that of all things.
Maki messed up her hair and huffed.
But why though? she thought to herself. Just tell me...
Okay, this had backfired. There was no way to recover from this. Naoto's ability to suddenly fire back had bereft her of all confidence. And he still wasn't even replying.
Maki picked the phone off the ground and rose from her seat. Taking a deep breath, the woman quickly grabbed the sweatshirt stuffed in her locker and threw it on. With long strides, Gamo left the locker room of the gym, finding a handful of students waiting for her in the wings. They immediately flocked to her side and began asking questions about lesson plans, the fight she had won, if she planned to go professional, but none of it really reached her.
"Relax, relax," she scoffed, motioning for them all to ease off. "All you squirts are losing your minds over nothing. It was just another fight, nothing special. Plans haven't changed. We'll continue next week, alright?"
A few of them nodded silently and others mumbled agreement, before they quietly dispersed.
Gamo always found it irritating when she could tell something was bothering her students, yet failed to understand the impetus behind it. Honestly, most days she didn't think she was a good teacher, period. There was this budding fear, ever present in the back of her mind, that once the gym fell into her hands, it would fail within a year. But what else could she do? Her family relied on her.
Gamo sighed wearily and pulled out her phone once again. Still no response.
Suddenly, the lack of a message caused her less shame and a far uglier sense of loneliness. Naoto was the one aspect of her life that she felt fully in control of. It was her decision to pursue him, to devote her body and mind to him. No one expected it of her, or made her feel like it was an obligation. Maki desired to be with him. Yet, she was still wrestling for his attention with another.
Why? It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. Hayase didn't deserve him.
Enough.
Gamo found herself strangely empowered once more, by whatever passion had just taken a hold of her heart. With a spring in her step, she rushed out of the gym, beginning a light jog down the road. Feeling light as a feather, Gamo called Naoto without slowing down.
After a couple of rings, an uncertain voice rang out from the other end. "H-hey."
Gamo found herself grinning almost immediately. Naoto was most certainly flustered. Good.
"You're not even gonna say anything?" she asked with an exasperated sigh. "Did you not like it?"
Maki hoped that he could hear the smugness in her voice. She would have given anything to see his face the moment he opened his phone to the sight she had gifted him. The least he could do, was make her feel validated, but stammering to her.
"I-I, uh,"
Excellent.
Between the emotional situation she was in and the physical activity, her heart was beating like a jackhammer inside her chest. She imagined Naoto trying to keep up with her on one of her morning runs and had to suppress a chuckle at the thought of him flailing from exhaustion.
"A true words smith," Gamo teased him, hoping to rile him up just enough for him to bite back. She did enjoy when he found some courage inside himself. "Is that why you haven't updated me on your progress today?"
Part of the reason Gamo had even sent him the initial picture in the first place, was due to the fact that he had never informed her of how he was doing with his writing process. She knew that the recent visit to check on Nagatoro had exhausted him mentally, and she wanted to ensure that he wasn't letting it get in the way of his passion. When he failed to reply, Gamo knew that this was most likely exactly what had happened. Thus, she hoped that sending him proof of her own accomplishment of the day would hopefully inspire him to some extent. Thinking back on it now, it made her feel conceited.
Whatever.
"I'm still working on it," Naoto meekly replied, far less flustered now that they had breached a topic, he was comfortable with. "It's not going well. The rest of the squad was supposed to show up a few minutes ago, but I guess they're running late."
"Hmm," Gamo hummed in contemplation. She hated hearing him so full of doubt, but there was no much she could, this far apart, to pump him up.
No, sending more pictures probably wouldn't do the trick, she had to remind herself.
Honestly, she felt almost stupid that that's all she could come up with in the moment. Maybe she was a meathead occasionally.
"Well," she eventually said, trying to force the conversation onward. "Watcha got so far?"
"I ain't telling," Naoto almost instantly countered.
Gamo found herself smirking once more. "Oh yeah? Why not?"
"It's bad," he replied sternly. "Like. Really bad."
Gamo sighed softly. Why was he always so harsh on himself?
"I am sure it's not," she said truthfully.
"You'd understand if you were here."
"I wish I was," Gamo spoke, her face soft and full of longing he couldn't see. "I miss you."
There was a short lull in the conversation. Gamo wasn't sure if she had thrown him off, flustered him again, or if he simply didn't feel the same way and didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"I miss you too," Naoto finally responded. "I really do."
Maki found herself lighting up. Her cheeks gained a red blush and the heat flaring up in her body was no longer just from the physical exhaustion. The desire inside of her was undeniable. This is what she wanted with him, always. Without any need to tiptoe around the situation due to another factor, ruining everything in their lives.
Why was that so hard?
"Tell me you love me," Maki demanded in a tone that left absolutely no room for debate. She began chewing on her bottom lip, desperately waiting for the response.
"I love you."
"Wait, seriously!?"
Tadano stared at his friend in awe. Naoto beside him, his hand gripping tightly onto his thigh, leaned forward to stare at their friend as well. The air was filled with excitement and anticipation, all of them waiting for the confirmation to what they had just heard.
"Are you all deaf?" Hisao asked with a chuckle, almost busting out into a full blown howl at Tony's exaggerated, goofy face. "Fine."
With a sigh, Hisao glanced at Rin, who was seated next to him, and looked at him through half lidded eyes, a small smile on her lips.
"Thanks to all the torture you guys have put me through," Hisao started, grinning into the room. "My brain has finally grown weak enough to your constant pleading, for me to accept the spot as bassist for this utterly awful band of yours."
"That's Tadano's utterly awful band," Tony retorted smugly. "Thank you very much."
Tadano was beaming, too filled with excitement to even acknowledge Tony's remark. It looked like the poor guy was close to breaking down in tears from joy.
"This is so awesome," Tadano sighed, his voice breaking slightly. "Isn't it awesome Naoto!?"
Naoto chuckle and throw an arm around Tadano's shoulder. "It sure is."
"Heh," Hisao smiled at his friends. "Thanks guys. I really appreciate that you all have that much faith in me. I- I don't know for how long I will be able to bu-"
"Oh no," Tony said, quickly getting up from his chair to give Hisao a slight flick to the forehead. "We're not bringing the mood down. You'll be a hundred, still touring with us."
Hisao rubbed his forehead, but still managed to bust out a genuine, bright smile. "You're right."
Naoto took a deep breath. Contentment washed over him, filling his mind with joy. It was far too rare for him these days, to just feel like something, anything, was going smoothly, without any caveats attached to it. Nothing else in his life seemed to ever go well, without a hitch, but at least this one aspect, was finally going to break the streak.
Naoto retrieved his phone from his pocket and quickly texted Gamo the good news. While they hadn't made much progress when it came to writing their next song, this was far more than he could have hoped for. Their rotation of stand in bassists had always held them back from truly coming into their own, pushing forward and carving out some kind of miniscule landscape within the industry for themselves. But now, that would be able to change.
"Thanks, Hisao," Naoto spoke up, catching the man of the hour off guard. Hisao smiled and nodded at him.
It was only then that Naoto felt something beneath his hand wriggle.
"H-Hey, Naoto?" Tadano grabbed his attention awkwardly. "C-Could you let go of me now?"
Naoto glanced down at his hand, spotting it still holding onto Tadano's thigh. The excitement he had experienced, waiting with bated breath for Hisao's words, had seemingly not left his hand quite yet.
"Hmm," Naoto hummed with an impish grin. He was about to deny his request, before spotting one of Komi's eyes staring at him from behind Tadano. He was reminded of a nightmare he had, not too long ago, and released his grip. "Sorry, buddy."
"No problem," Tadano replied with a genuine smile. He quickly moved on. "I am so excited. Imagine: Our first album as a full band. That's gonna be so cool!"
Naoto grinned, finding Tadano's enthusiasm rather infectious. If only he was able to write anything that wasn't complete trash right now. Why was it so difficult for him to put words down? Nothing exciting, nothing soul inspiring ran through his mind.
This was awful. They were finally able to call themselves a real, stable band, and here Naoto was, unable to produce anything resembling decent lyrics.
So much for smooth sailing.
The buzzing of his phone tore him back to reality. Glancing down at the display, he found a text from Gamo.
That's awesome! I can't wait to hear your next song. You better get me some VIP tickets for the next show.
Naoto scrunched his face up as he read the text. There was a memory he felt he shouldn't have forgotten, something important he wanted to make up for. Gamo had given him an idea.
"Sorry guys," Naoto said as he quickly got up from the couch. "I'll be back."
"Oh no, he's abandoning us," Tony laughed as Naoto hurried out of the living room and into his own.
The moment he was in the clear, Naoto pulled up his contacts and started typing in the name of the person he was looking for. The icon of an adorable puppy, drooling in excitement, popped up on his screen and finding himself emboldened by the great news of the evening, he quickly hit the call button.
It took a while, and Naoto almost wondered if maybe the woman was avoiding him now, but eventually, a voice appeared on the other line.
"H-Hello?" a timid, almost confused sounding greeting. Naoto should have expected that.
"Hi Yoshi," Naoto replied, trying to sound as warm and inviting as possible, to help her relax.
There were sounds of frantic movement, as well as the rustling of fabric. Naoto had a difficult time suppressing a chuckle.
Of course, he had assumed contacting Yoshi would have caused her some form of discomfort or anxiety, given how the recent revelation she had been privy of. Naoto couldn't even fathom the idea of discovering that one of his closest friends could hide a secret like that from him. It would very likely recontextualize years of their lives.
"N-Naoto?" Yoshi had to ensure that she wasn't mistaken it seems.
"Yeah, it's me," the artist responded, a warm smile on his face.
"Wh-why are you- I mean- Uh- Hi."
At that moment, Naoto did allow himself a laugh, which evidently helped ease Yoshi's anxiety somewhat as she spoke up. "Not funny!"
"I am sorry Yoshi," Naoto chuckled, trying his best not to fluster the poor woman further.
"Why are you calling me?" Yoshi finally asked the question at the center of her nervousness. "I- I am sorry Naoto-senpai."
Naoto shut his eyes for a moment. This was the part of Hayase confessing to her deeds that he had dreaded most.
"It's not your fault Yoshi," he said, as gently and sincerely as possible. The thought of Yoshi and Sakura feeling any of the guilt that they should, in no way, feel the need to shoulder, had kept him awake at night. "Please. Don't ever think that."
Naoto could hear a couple of deep breaths on the other end of the line, as if Yoshi was attempting to steady herself. Naoto wasn't sure how she had been holding up, considering that her habit of conforming to her friend's personalities, and becoming their hype man, was still something very much Yoshi. Now, that this friend group had been shaken, he was concerned about how she would handle herself.
"Whether or not it is my fault," she started, causing Naoto to instantly cut her off. "It's not."
"Regardless," Yoshi pushed on stubbornly. "I am still sorry. I feel awful that- what happened to you was just- God."
The woman's voice broke slightly at the end, as if she had to remind herself of the horrors that she was referring to. Naoto remembered Tadano sounding and acting similarly in the early days.
"Well, I appreciate it," he replied, despite his brows tightening. "But I also would rather not have you look at me with pity. I think I've been handling it well."
"You're still in contact with her," Yoshi was quick to remind him. "I don't think that's it going well."
Naoto couldn't help but smirk. There was something so uniquely refreshing about getting to hear more of the woman beneath Yoshi's persona she put up around her friends. He definitely had not considered biting snark to be something Yoshi was particularly proficient in.
"Touche" Naoto replied, the grin on his face audible in his words. "My therapist would agree with you."
"That's not funny," Yoshi said, although Naoto was convinced, he heard the faintest giggle. "But I am glad you're doing well, given the circumstances. But that doesn't answer why you're calling."
Oh. Right.
Naoto let out a relaxed sigh as he let himself fall onto his bed. "Well, I got some good news today, so I was hoping to spread the joy."
"Oh?" The eager curiosity was unmistakable in Yoshi's tone.
"How'd you like a VIP ticket to our next show?" Naoto asked her. There was an immediate gasp from Yoshi.
"Wait, really!?" she cried with joy, seemingly forgetting all the worries that came before. It made Naoto positively giddy.
"Yup," he confirmed with amusement. "After all, I was told you were the only fan of our band before we reconnected. The others are posers."
Yoshi let out a soft giggle at that, which melted Naoto's heart. He wondered just what would have become of her if she had never fallen in with Gamo and the others. She honestly seemed so kind and gentle all by herself. Maybe he was just imagining it.
"I'd absolutely love one," Yoshi replied happily. "When is it?"
"Oh, we're planning something a bit bigger," Naoto explained, a sense of pride swelling up in his chest. "So, let me know when you got time off and I'll get you the closest available date."
"Ooooooh!?" Yoshi's excitement was infectious, causing Naoto to light up.
"Mhm," he hummed. "Did you want to invite Sakura?"
There was an awkward pause. Naoto furrowed his brow. He hadn't expected that.
"I am not really talking to Sakura anymore," Yoshi admitted, a hint of sadness to her tone now.
Naoto sat up on his bed, looking at the phone in his hand as if it had just personally insulted him. "Why not?"
A heavy sigh.
"After what happened," Yoshi started, her voice strained. "I guess Sakura decided everything had to go, scorched earth style. She hasn't blocked me yet, but she hasn't responded to any of my messages since that day either. And before you even ask; I couldn't bring myself to talk to Gamo, let alone Nagatoro, after that. It's- I can't believe that they lied to us. I-"
The familiar sound of someone trying and failing to hold back a torrent of bitter tears rang through the phone.
"Maki lied to me," Yoshi whispered. "I always thought she'd let me in on anything. I trusted her with everything. I-"
Her voice slowly trailed off. Naoto was certain her heard a couple of sobs.
"I am sorry Yoshi," Naoto tried to comfort her, feeling beyond terrible for having caused this rift between them.
"It's not your fault," the woman quickly reprimanded, despite the tears she was clearly shedding.
Naoto found himself pleased with the prospect of turning it around on her. "Whether or not it is my fault-"
"You're an ass," Yoshi snarked, a quiet chuckle breaking through the veil of tears.
Naoto grinned inward, grateful that his attempt at humoring her did not backfire. Last thing he wanted to do was upset her. Despite this, doubts started to creep into his mind. There was a this gnawing sense of dread, slowly eating him up from within.
Had Hayase opening up to them been a mistake?
"I just don't understand," Yoshi eventually continued after a moment of silence. "Why would you still want to talk to us?"
"I told you," Naoto responded. "It's not your faul-"
"That's not what I mean," Yoshi cut him off with a sigh. "We've never been great to you. Even Ma- Gamo and I would always mess with you. Even if Nagatoro hadn't done what she did, I still see no reason for you to put up with us."
Naoto took a moment to think on what Yoshi had said. There was truth to it, of course. Yet, Naoto knew that deep down, the girls had always been kind in their own ways. None of them truly meant him any harm. But boy, did they suck at first impressions.
"You're my friends," he said succinctly.
Yoshi actually scoffed at that, followed by another, barely contained sob. "Naoto.."
"I mean it Yoshi," he assured her. "You and I may have never gotten all that close, but I still considered the four of you my friends. I didn't have many of those, as you are painfully aware. So, you guys do matter, quite a lot."
Yoshi let out a dry chuckle, causing Naoto to throw up his eyebrows.
"Oh Naoto," the woman sighed. "We were pretty shitty friends, if that's the case. I could tell you how much I ended up regretting making fun of you, almost every time. But that doesn't really mean much now, all these years later."
"Almost every time?" Naoto asked with a sneer.
"Eh, you did have some hilarious reactions a lot of the time. Totally worth it."
The two of them broke out into a hearty laugh at that, the first Naoto thought they ever shared among themselves. Naoto really wished he had been able to meet this Yoshi years ago, back when they still had the chance to grow close as friends. Now, unfortunately, with their paths so divergent from each other, life wouldn't grant them that pleasure. Such were the pains of growing up.
Time stopped for no one, after all.
"Thank you, Naoto," Yoshi spoke softly. "I'll text you when I got a gap in my schedule opening up. Take care of yourself."
"Same to you Yoshi."
Yoshi hung up, leaving Naoto to stew in his own spiraling thoughts. It was nice to get to know the real Yoshi. He had always wondered about who she was beneath it all. The few times they had me outside of school, away from the influence of her peers, she had been a quiet, polite, almost timid girl. It was only when she was within her circle of friends that she turned into the person he had known her as for the longest time. He wondered which way Yoshi preferred it to be.
Maybe the woman was drawing confidence and inspiration from her friends, allowing her to become free and unrestrained. Yet, thanks to Naoto's meddling, she no longer had this opportunity.
Naoto placed the back of his hand over his eyes. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he considered just how much more he was capable of screwing up. Yoshi and Sakura were now saddled with this knowledge of what had happened to him, something they had never asked for. The pain was already spreading, as their once tight knit group was no completely fractured.
Gamo and Nagatoro were competing for him, which was genuinely the morally most abhorrent thing he could do to anyone. He hated this odd, social perception that being courted by multiple people at once was somehow dreamy and romantic.
It was a nightmare.
Now he had also managed to split Yoshi and Sakura from the rest of them, as well as each other for some unknown reason. Why did Sakura decide that Yoshi had to suffer alongside the others? Did Sakura not like Yoshi? That couldn't be right. Then again, Naoto couldn't remember a moment where the two of them interactive with one another, outside of being along for the ride with Nagatoro.
The more he read into the situation, the more apparent it became that Sakura didn't neatly fit in with the rest of them regardless. She had her own streak of mischief making, but largely, she was more of a calm, collected and kind woman. Very flirty, swarmed by admirers, but down to earth despite it.
How did she end up with them?
Naoto knew so little about the people he had just so haughtily called his friends; it was actually rather embarrassing.
Then again, how much did they truly know of him? Besides his lacking artistic skills and his once incredibly timid behavior, Yoshi and Sakura probably had no deeper understanding of him. He felt perturbed at the thought. How could it be so challenging to gain insight on the people around you?
Another sigh escaped his lips, a common occurrence these days.
What was he going to do? There was this sharp pressure in his chest, like a unreachable itch, just below his skin, destined to remain without relief. He had never intended for their group to be shattered by these events. His own troubles were not worth all of that.
The guilt was striking him all at once. This wasn't right. He needed to talk to somebody about the situation, someone who could help ease his anxiety.
But who?
The person he had most frequently reached out to in the past in these sorts of moments was Hana. That was not an option anymore. He had made sure of it.
Of course, he could always call Maki.
But what sort of answers would she give him? Could she be trusted? Or would her responses be tainted by her desire to be chosen above Hayase?
He most definitely wasn't going to call Hayase herself. That would have been less than helpful, in the state the both of them were in.
The only other person he could reasonably rely on was Tadano, but the man had finally received an outstanding breakthrough in the form of a permanent bassist, and Naoto couldn't find it in himself to negate this feeling of joy by pushing him into this pit of despair he had dug for himself.
And there it was, that overwhelming sense of isolation that blanketed him in cold. The chill was biting at his skin, forcing the hairs on it to stand on end. Despite all the people in his life, regardless of everyone who seemed invested in his well being, Naoto felt truly alone, without hope of companionship. No scenario he played out in his mind came up with the desired outcome, each one making him feel as if the person he was confiding in was only attempting to gain something from him, or skewing their opinions to ease his suffering, rather than being sincere.
It felt like everyone wanted something from him, in one way or another. The thought ate away at him.
Honestly, there was only a single person he could even think of that-
Wait. That was it.
Rin.