Sarah was pacing in front of the screen in MTAC while she waited for the team to come into the room. She was nervous. Her hands were shaking. She kept messing with her hair, trying to shake off the nervous energy. She did not want to talk about this case anymore. But she had pursued it on the side on her own for long enough and now someone was dead because of her digging. Acknowledging this part of her career out loud was hard for her to face.
The team noticed her nervousness as they walked into MTAC. They were not used to this side of her. It seemed strange when Gibbs asked them to cancel their weekend plans without giving them a reason and they had not seen Sarah that morning, until Gibbs told them to meet in MTAC. After watching the FBI arrest her in the middle of the day the day before, nothing seemed to make sense.
They took a seat and waited for her to speak. Gibbs approached her and paused her nervous pacing.
"You can do this," he said to her quietly. "We are here to help you." She closed her eyes and nodded. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes as she released the breath. Gibbs rejoined the rest of the team in the seats. Sarah grabbed a file from the podium and opened it. She did not need to reference much; she had stared at the details so much over the years she had it memorized.
As she began to speak, they noticed her voice shaking, much like her hands. With each pause, she tried to take a deep breath. Sarah recounted the story she told Gibbs and Fornell the night before, along with details about the case that led to the confrontation. She tried to keep herself composed, but she could feel it starting to be hard to do. The team noticed the difference in her demeanor. They were not used to this somber, anxious teen. She eventually paused to pull a disc out of the folder in her hands.
"McGee, would you?" She handed him the disc to open on the screen. Sarah took a seat next to Kate and sighed. Kate grabbed her hand reassuringly. Sarah knew what was on there; she had watched the footage over and over countless times. She could not bring herself to watch the screen again. As McGee got the video to play, she hid her face with her free hand. Kate noticed and wrapped her arm around her. Tony put a gentle hand on her shoulder from behind. Though she had warned them, they were not prepared for what they saw.
The audio was indistinguishable in parts, but they could sense the urgency of the scene. They saw the firefight, then a young Sarah ran into view toward her partner. They watched Gregg come into view to try to help and call someone on the radio. He ran off to help other team members as Sarah continued to focus on Jessica. Eventually the paramedics arrived and took over. Gregg rejoined Sarah as she noticed the blood on her hands and clothes.
Sarah squeezed her eyes shut as the video progressed. The team could not stop watching. Gibbs noticed how uncomfortable Sarah was. Kate was trying to comfort her, but the teen was clearly rattled still.
When the video was over, Gibbs took a place in front of the team. "We need to look at this case with fresh eyes. Something went down and Gregg was close." He turned toward Sarah. "I don't want you on this."
"Gibbs, I…"
"You have been on this long enough. You can confirm details, but you need to trust us on this. Let us do this."
"Sarah, we can help you," Kate said as she gave her a side hug. Tony gently squeezed her shoulder again.
"We got this, kid."
"I need a moment." Sarah stood up and rushed out of MTAC. Gibbs looked back at the team.
"Until we know more, Sarah will be in our protective custody. There either was a leak, or it was an inside job. Until we know which, she is not safe. Director Asher will come later to officially debrief, but I do not know how much he will share."
Kate stood up. "Gibbs, may I?"
He nodded. "Go find her." Kate left MTAC to look for her. "McGee, get the evidence from the case to Abby. Coordinate with Fornell if you have to. DiNozzo, see what else you can find out about the case and get the files."
Kate found Sarah hiding in the bathroom. She was trying to pull herself together by splashing water in her face from the sink. The water from the sink hid the tears rolling down her face. Kate cautiously stepped toward her and offered a hug. Sarah grabbed a paper towel to dry her eyes as she accepted the hug.
"We've got this. Let us take this load from you now." Sarah sighed and nodded. She was fighting more tears from dropping.
Sarah sat in the back of MTAC while Director Asher briefed the team. They had heard the story from Sarah just an hour before but made no indication of such, as they did not know how much he was willing to share. She was right before; he did not provide much in the way of detail. When he was finished, he handed everyone a file containing the information he had just shared. She did not need a folder as she knew every detail of the case. She knew his motive was to bury it quickly. As he passed by her, he made eye contact. Sarah glared back and leaned into her seat. She hid her frustration with him otherwise. She refused to show the director anything else from her. When Gibbs noticed the silent exchange, he noticed she had adopted a neutral façade, a departure from the shakiness and tears she had just an hour prior.
"Can I speak to you privately, Sarah?" She sighed and stood up from her seat. She walked with him out of MTAC and leaned against the wall. He sighed as he closed the door behind him.
"Sarah, how are you doing in all of this?"
"Save it, Director. I know you don't like my work on this case. But I needed answers and if you weren't gonna support me to solve this, then I was gonna find it myself. Gregg wasn't satisfied either and was helping me."
"I understand this case was hard on you. You girls were so young. But we thought we solved the case that night. That's why I closed the case. But you were right, clearly. I should have listened to you in the first place."
"Right." She was not convinced. "Look, I know your mission is to protect the agency, but mine is to find out what happened to my friend. Now if you will excuse me." She pushed back from the wall and stood up straighter. She turned to go back into MTAC but was stopped by Director Asher grabbing her arm.
"Sarah, we are working on the same goal. While also protecting you. If you are right about this, you could be next. We can't have that."
"You mean you can't have that. I will be fine. Gregg and Jess deserve answers." She removed her arm from his grasp and used the iris scanner to return to MTAC. She shared a look with Gibbs as she returned to her seat. He and Fornell were at the front talking. She closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands in her lap. Gibbs stepped away from the front and carefully approached her. He rubbed her back as she sighed. He watched the team try to sift through the information they were just given, knowing that Sarah's notes had more information to fill in the gaps that Director Asher handed them.
Director Asher eventually rejoined the room, ensuring they did not have any more questions for him. He noticed Gibbs and Sarah in the back. The teen was obviously distressed, and she felt herself using a lot of energy holding it together while the director was still present. Director Asher was starting to realize that she was right to continue to pursue this case all these years. He would have preferred to have kept it in house, but he thought that the external eyes might help gain progress in the case.
After one last check, Director Asher stepped out of MTAC to talk to Director Morrow. Sarah noticed his departure and let out a breath she did not realize she was holding. The team started gathering the files to take back to their desks. Sarah stood up and offered to help, but the team declined, trying to help her take a break from the case. Gibbs knew it would be hard for her to distance herself from the case, but with her emotional involvement, he wanted to allow her time to process the events, and not just work the case. Time she probably never had before now.
Eventually, Sarah and Gibbs were the last ones in MTAC. She stared at the stills on the screen. She had moved to sit on the floor, a spot that Gibbs sometimes found her in when she was intensely working on something. Gibbs reapproached her and sat beside her.
"Gibbs, I want to help."
"I know you do, but you need to let us carry this one. You have worked this case for so long."
"But I know this case better than anyone."
"Which is exactly why I want you to distance yourself from it. Let us look at everything with fresh eyes." He paused. "Did you ever get a chance to process what happened?"
She looked up at him and made eye contact. "What do you mean?"
"You lost your best friend. You were just kids. Did you ever get to work through it?" Sarah looked away. She did not want him to see the tears returning to her eyes.
"Maybe a day. Then I had a case." She took a breath. "Before I started here, I was on case after case after case. I had little downtime, but what little time I had, I was searching for answers."
"Jordan said he was worried about you."
"Wasn't my call. Or his. I was needed on other cases." He put a hand on her shoulder. She turned her gaze back towards him.
"You were 10 years old. And you lost someone important to you. You never got a chance to mourn, let alone be a kid." Sarah shrugged.
"That's how it was. I don't know any different." She dropped her head down low and rubbed her forehead. "And now the grief is hitting me like a ton of bricks just fell from the sky. I'd rather be working than feel this." Her voice started to break again. Gibbs brought her in for a side hug. A tear rolled down her cheek.
"Sare, we will ask you questions where we need, but just let us work the case this time." She sighed and rested her head on her knees, her arms wrapped around her bent legs. Gibbs rubbed her back. "It's our turn." She tried to hide the fact that more tears rolled down her face, but Gibbs noticed. He could hear the change in her breathing that indicated her silent sobs.