"And you can never tell how close you are; It may be near when it seems afar. So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit."

-Anonymous

Chapter 7: Kagome

I lost count of how many times I've almost died. If it wasn't for Inuyasha and sheer luck, I probably would have been eaten by Mistress Centipede my first day in the Feudal Era. And no matter how many times I come close to death; it's not something I ever get used to. It's just as terrifying the hundredth time as it is the first time.

The last thing I remember was Tatsuo grabbing me around the waist and diving into the cold pools in that weird mysterious cave. I barely had enough time to gasp for air before we were underwater. I didn't know where we were going or how we were getting there. All I could tell from the first few minutes was that we were getting there fast and I just had to hold on for the ride.

I felt myself grow faint from holding in my breath against the raging waters. With the speed we were going, the water began to feel like rough sandpaper and I could hardly stand it. Unable to see, I could only feel that Tatsuo was swimming quickly; sometimes taking a sharp turn, looping upwards, and diving down which made this little trip even worse.

'I thought I was sick before.' This had all the physics of a rollercoaster with none of the fun.

Tatsuo made a hard turn upwards and I could only hope we were swimming towards the surface. My chest began to burn as the little oxygen I did manage to inhale started to run out. My body weakened and the pressure from the water increased along with our speed.

Just as I thought this would become my watery grave, we broke through the surface. My first gasp of air hurt as my lungs struggled to take in as much oxygen as they could. Even though we had been underwater for a few minutes, my chest made it feel like it had been much longer.

"I should….k-kill you…." I coughed in between my words but hoped I got the message across.

Tatsuo snorted but said nothing as he started drifting slowly to the ground. It was still nighttime although the rain had stopped. The crescent moon was high in the sky, partly illuminating the quiet forests of what I hoped was still Edo. I heard a loud flap behind us and turned to see that Tatsuo's wings were what held us up. Despite the many injuries and tears in them, he clearly had no issues flying.

He sent me down gently and I winced at the feel of squishy, wet mud beneath my feet. The earth was incredibly damp, and I could barely tell where we were since the forest was so dark. Only thing I could make out was Tatsuo's silhouette moving around the trees and his glowing, orange eyes.

"Now, let's get moving."

I turned around to see Tatsuo leading a large horse from the brush. Careful of my steps since I couldn't see that well, I walked over slowly and held out a hand in hopes the horse was friendly. Thankfully it was as my hand connected with its snout and no movement was made to push me away.

"Where did you get this horse? Was it waiting there the whole time?" Hana was large. Much larger than a regular horse should be which made me wonder if she may have been a youkai. She was all black, blending in with the dark of the night. And just like her owner, she had glowing eyes, although hers were blue. On her back was a saddle with a few satchels of various sizes attached.

"This is Hana. After I took you to the cave, I left to gather supplies for our journey. While I do not require much, it's from my experience that human woman do." Tatsuo gave me a knowing look while lightly brushing Hana's mane with his fingers.

Well, there was no guessing why he said that. "Fair. What are we going to do about light then? Human woman also can't see in the dark."

Tatsuo shook his head and quicker than I could prepare myself for, grabbed me and plopped me on top of Hana. "You don't need to see. Only I do."

I readjusted the best I could and hoped he could feel the daggers I was glaring into his head.

"If you just tell me first, I could move myself."

I had a feeling he was laughing at me as those eyes of his crinkled. "And waste time waiting for you with those slow human reflexes? Not likely."

Those eyes of his disappeared behind a tree and I could hear more rustling. A light sparked and out stepped Tatsuo clad in a plain white haori and brown hakama. In his hand was a glowing lamp and what looked suspiciously like a sword tied to his waist.

"If there's a village, you should take me there so that I can get some more clothes!" I gestured down towards my current state of apparel which was sad at best. "This kimono is practically hanging by a stitch now." I waved my arm around for emphasis, the sleeves torn and hanging down to the ground. I was drenched from the dive and I'm sure the mud stains were setting in.

Tatsuo sighed heavily. "I already took care of that when I was in the village earlier. I procured food for the trip as well." He hung the lamp on a hook attached to the side of Hana's saddle. Reaching into one of the larger satchels, he pulled out a pile of what I hope were clothes and moved to place them in my arms. "Here. A yukata, obi, socks, and zori."

'Wow. He's way more proactive than Inuyasha.' "Oookaaay then. Where are we going?"

Tatsuo lost the irritated look on his face which now held a smirk. "As I said before, you and I will be paying Lord Sesshomaru a vist. He's an old friend of mine." He reached down and pulled me up onto the horse with one tug. I gasped as I clutched his shoulders to stop my wobbling.

"I forgot that you were a demon for a second." He huffed.

"My human form has that effect on ningen."

How modest.

"Let's just get going. The sooner I found out about what's happening the better."

A FEW DAYS LATER

I was all up for road trips, especially the long ones so I could sight see and simply enjoy the feeling of escaping to a place unfamiliar to you.

But this was too much.

I yawned as I burried my head into Tatsuo's neck, my chin lightly bouncing on his shoulder in rhythm with the horse's trot. It had been a few days since we started our trip, and the boredom was starting to get me. At least when traveling with Inuyasha and the others, there was always something to keep us entertained, fighting or both. Tatsuo wasn't much for conversation unless we were picking at each other. At this point, Hana was more sociable.

"Are we there yet?" I whined. I had nodded off a few times almost causing myself to fall off of the horse, which irritated both me and Tatsuo. So, to keep a better eye on me and my movements, Tatsuo positioned me to where I was sitting in his lap sideways so he would still be able to control the horse.

"No," came his monotone voice.

Silence.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

Silence.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

I sighed. My "Annoy-the-crap-out-of-my-captor" plan wasn't working and I was starting to get discouraged. Usually when I was kidnapped by rogue bandits this always works and then Inu-

My mood instantly deflated.

And to think by now we would have been happily mated and looking forward to a future together. We would have had a lovely party with all our friends and the villagers and ended the day spending our first night in the hut I thought he had built for us. Little did I know it was probably for Kikyo. It was always about Kikyo.

"Jerk..." I whispered.

Tatsuo snorted. "Just because I won't give you the answer you long for? I hardly call that fair."

Oh. He was listening.

"Umm...I wasn't talking about you."

"Oh? What poor soul managed to earn your ire?"

I sighed. This wasn't something that I was really ready to talk about. "Well, it happened like this..."

FLASHBACK

"Inuyasha!" I called from the bottom of the well. Of all the times he would choose to ignore me, it would be now. "Infuriating," I whispered as I began to climb up the vines.

"Inuyasha, I am so going to kill you when I get out of here..." I whispered as I reached the top. I heard a rustling of clothing, and a warmth blossomed in my heart as I was immediately overcome with a feeling of happiness and anger. Happiness, because I was close to the man I loved most in the world, and anger, because he didn't help me out of this stupid well.

I expected him to greet me with a hug and a shower of kisses, something he started doing once we shared our love for each other, but instead I was greeted by the sight of him and Kikyo talking. The old Kagome would have been shocked and nervous at the sight. But I knew now that Inuyasha loved me, and nothing would come between us, something he shared with me last night at Kaede's. At least, I thought I did.

But this moment felt different. The look in Kikyo's eyes was heavy, almost forlorn, as she faced Inuyasha. I watched with growing apprehension as she stepped closer to him and laid a hand on his chest. I couldn't see Inuyasha's face since his back was to me. I was scared to even think of how he was looking at her.

For some reason I didn't want them to know I was here, so I lifted myself quietly off the lip of the well and snuck behind it, crouching down low.

"Inuyasha," I heard Kikyo say.

"Kikyo...I-I can't do it. I have Kagome now and even though we have history, I can't just abandon her like this. I won't." he said shaking his head.

I grew anxious. Abandon me? Why would he abandon me?

"But Inuyasha. I was the first woman you loved. She is nothing but my reincarnation. She doesn't even belong here."

Inuyasha once again shook his head and stepped back, which willed Kikyo to take a step forward. "No.."

"Please Inuyasha. Look at me." Kikyo whispered grabbing his head in her hands and turning his face to make connection with hers.

My eyes widened. 'No, don't look at her!'

Somehow I knew he would.

"Kikyo..."

"You love me Inuyasha. Not her. You know this. You are using this girl as a guard against me so you don't have to face the truth." With that Kikyo tilted her head up and kissed him. It didn't take a genius to see how stiff Inuyasha was being; how hesitant. But sadly I watched as the man I loved respond to a woman he claimed to be over.

"Kikyo..." he whispered. Inuyasha lifted his arms slowly to wrap around her, eventually crushing her to him and their kiss grew deeper. I was nauseated. The fact that he was so deep into her that he didn't sense me only broke my heart further.

At this point my earlier feelings were completely squashed until loneliness and grief remained.

They separated, both breathing harder than before. "I-I'll see what I can do..Kikyo…but you have to understand that ain't that easy. Kagome…she's my best friend and deserves-"

Kikyou pulled away from him completely her cold face exhibiting a smile. "I love you Inuyasha. What about what I deserve?" Even from here I could tell that her statement was forced. The corners of her lips were twitching madly, as if she couldn't wait to be alone so she could frown again.

Inuyasha, being the oh so observant hanyo he is, just smiled back, almost unsurely. "I love you too K-Kikyo."

They shared one quick kiss before Kikyo was carted off by her soul stealers.

I stood from my hiding place and watched with blurry vision as she disappeared behind the trees. I didn't take my eyes away from the sky when I heard Inuyasha curse once he finally noticed my presence. I didn't look into his eyes when he stood in front of me. I didn't even flinch when he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my hair.

I couldn't bring myself to respond yet. I was still numb from the shock of his betrayal.

"Kagome..." I clenched my fists as I heard my name pass through his lips. The same lips that had kissed mine. The same lips that had just kissed Kikyo's and whispered lies.

"Don't say my name," I snapped back. "You don't deserve me," I continued on. "You don't deserve my love, my affection, or my attention."

"Kagome," he started as his grip tightened.

"Don't. I don't want to hear it." I forcefully pulled my body away from Inuyasha's. It was difficult since he refused to let me go.

"I don't want you. Not anymore." I knew I was contradicting myself and Inuyasha could probably sense it. But I didn't care. I would ignore the urge to run back into his arms and hear him tell me how he made a mistake and that he would always love me and not Kikyo.

"Kagome, please! I love you. I really do. It's just….Kikyo. She needs me. She's still dead because of what me and Naraku did…" he pleaded as he reached for me.

"Damn it Inuyasha! I need you! I'm the one who's sacrificed for you! I'm the one who took you off that tree, something I'm really starting to regret," I watched in morbid satisfaction as he flinched, obviously hurt by my statement. "And yet you sit here and still go after the shell of a woman who doesn't exist anymore! That's not the real Kikyo Inuyasha and you know it! Even after you tell me you love me! I mean come on Inuyasha! You're so...so...stupid! I don't even know what I saw in you!"

Inuyasha backed away from me; his ears dropping low to his head. Under any other circumstances I would have thought this moment of vulnerability was cute but now I felt nothing watching him stand there.

Nothing.

"Kagome...I do love you. I need you just as much as you need me and I didn't lie when I said that I wanted to mate you!" He took one step towards me, his eyes glazing over and trailing over my body.

I knew what he was thinking about.

"Last night was amazing Kagome. I will always cherish it. But with Kikyo still living I-I don't know what to do! I thought after we defeated Naraku, she would be able to rest. I don't know how or what she did but she's still here and I can't just leave her alone."

"You still don't get it, do you? If you were this conflicted why promise yourself to me? Why tell me that you love me?! Why would you touch me-!" I stopped myself. I was shaking so bad and the tears just wouldn't stop. It didn't matter what I said at this point or how loud I yelled. The damage was already done.

"You know what? Damn you Inuyasha! You, Kikyo, and everything else. I'm done with this and I'm done with you!" I turned and started to run away as I held up the kimono to keep from tripping.

"No! Kagome please!" He grabbed my hand.

"Let go!"

"What about Shippou? And Sango? Miroku? You can't leave like this wench!"

"I'll come back for them. But not for you." I pulled away, leaving a stunned Inuyasha behind. In a cruel twist, it hurt me to see him hurt. I knew how much he struggled with reconciling his feelings for Kikyo and the guilt over her death. It was one of the things that made me fall for him. He still had such a big heart for someone whose life was all hardship and pain as a hanyo, even though he acted gruff on the outside.

But it was still no excuse for him to do this to me. "You didn't even notice me when I pulled myself out of the well. I stood there waiting for you! All dolled up and eager to be with the man that I loved." I gestured down to the kimono I had specially made. The front dipped lower than a traditional kimono would, and the sides were split up to mid-thigh showing every bit of my legs. I blushed in anger and embarrassment as he looked me over.

Inuyasha's eyes widened as he looked me over again. "Wow. You look-"

"Don't. Didn't you tell Kikyo that you would do something about me? I think your exact words were 'I'll see what I can do' or am I wrong?" Inuyasha whined pitifully his ears now completely hidden in his hair.

"Don't leave, just let me figure this out."

"No, you've made your decision so now I have to make mine."

END FLASHBACK

"What makes this so sad was that during the whole time I was yelling at him I wanted nothing more than to kiss him and run back to him. Does that make me weak?" I asked as I snuggled more into Tatsuo. Who needed a heated blanket when they had a chauffeur/dragon youkai? The warmth radiating from his body was strong and it comforted me in a way I hadn't felt in a long time.

I felt him wrap an arm around my waist while the other still gripped Hana's reigns. "No miko. It makes you human."

I wasn't sure if there was a double meaning to his words since he spent the better part of the day insulting my humanity, but I chose not to say anything.

Hana trotted along as the silence fell over us again. I shifted in my seat, cognizant of his grip on me and our somewhat intimate position. At least it felt intimate to me. I half expected him to keep me at a distance since he made it obvious how much I annoyed him.

I snuck a look at him and was again in awe of how attractive he was. He was terrifying as a dragon but as a man, he could really turn heads. We had stopped at a village after daybreak the first morning of our journey so I could change. Thankfully he carried a hooded cloak in one of his pouches to hide his more obvious youkai features so the villagers wouldn't be scared of serving two travelling strangers.

I stifled a laugh as I remembered the looks on the faces of the women who ran the bathhouse we were led to. They were obvious in their attraction to the dragon youkai but oblivious to the murderous glare he gave them as they attempted to flirt with him. They offered him free "services" and a private bath for him to wash. It wasn't until I had finished refreshing myself and met Tatsuo outside, did I learn that the bathhouse had employed former courtesans who had aged out of their roles. It explained their boldness.

But now, there were no hard lines to his face or anger anywhere to be found in his eyes. His face was set in a neutral gaze, not smiling but not frowning. Those eyes were steady and shone beautifully under the rays of the sun. His hair was set in a low ponytail, leaving his face free from wild strands. He was beautiful. But he was still such a grouch.

"Are we there yet?"

Tatsuo growled, his grip on my waist tightening. "No. Now hush or I'll tie your feet together and drag you the rest of the way."

See? Grouch.