Daughter
A/N: Today's chapter has one of my favorite lines... See if you can find it. Title is the clue. Enjoy the comedy and let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading.
Chapter 72 – Oink
"There is no doubt that what Corporal Crawford threw into the wormhole was a bomb," Sam announced to the table. "Hammond did a fly-by. The damage to the planet was considerable. They calculated that the bomb was capable of destroying everything within a 1-mile radius. But based on where members of SG-3 found the assailant, we think he intended to tie it into the local power generator to increase the bomb's yield. It would have been enough to level the entire city on Chulak."
Jack stared at his wife, quietly taking in her report. He glanced at Hank, then at Colonel Pierce. "Colonel? What did you learn from the prisoner?"
"Interrogation is going nowhere, sir. Our techniques haven't been very productive."
"We'll need to hand him over to the Jaffa, then," Hank surmised.
"Not just yet. Colonel Reynolds, I want your team to take a crack at him."
"Sir?"
"Your little Mal Doran painted the target. She probably knows things. She could manipulate him into talking."
Sam looked at Jack with concern in her eyes. "Sir, wouldn't it be better for relations with the Jaffa to just hand him over outright? That was technically their event being threatened. We would have just been caught in the crossfire."
It was a bit daring of her to question him like this. But she had their daughter's safety to consider. Not to mention her cover. He could yell at her for being borderline insubordinate later.
"I am aware of that, Colonel," Jack replied flatly. "But considering the fact that it was two members of SG-3 who saved the day, their team deserves to bring it in for another home run."
"We'll take care of it, sir," Reynolds promised. He regarded Sam and Jack dubiously, sensing there was more going on than they wanted to reveal.
"One more thing," Jack said. "Is Crawford being promoted or what?"
"His name's in the hat," Reynolds reported. "We're just waiting on the board now."
"We need to give him a medal while we're at it," Jack said with conviction. "He saved hundreds of lives by doing what he did."
Amri stood before the Jaffa High Council, having been summoned there as a direct witness. His father Garth stood against the wall of the chambers and out of the way.
One of the distinguished Council Members spoke. "And then?"
"Then the human discarded the bomb through the chaapa'ai. I presume it detonated on the other side."
The Council Members shared looks. A few of them were actually present at that wedding. Their lives were endangered without them knowing it. Some felt shame for not having even realized the threat. Teal'c was right to bring in outside security for his nuptials.
"The Council thanks you for your report, Son of Hibradeen. Shal kek."
Amri bowed low and lingered there out of extra deference. Then he rose and turned to join his father.
"Master Meil'nor of Tek'ron, send forth your Heir."
Meil'nor bowed to them as superiors. Then he placed a supportive hand on Elda's shoulder. He lightly pushed her forward when she did not move.
Elda positioned herself at the center of the great circle on the floor. The High Council inhabited seats in a semi-circle before her.
"Lady Elda of Tek'ron, this Council commands you to report."
She quietly gazed around at a dozen or so powerful Jaffa. "What does the Council wish to know?"
"How did you identify the threat?"
She kept her face expressionless, putting extra effort into appearing less human. "In my youth, I encountered many Jaffa Loyalists during my travels. I recognized the one who was there among us that night."
"Does he know of you, Lady Elda?"
"Unlikely," she reported simply.
Meil'nor clenched his jaw behind her. He glanced at his counterpart and the son from Hibradeen.
"Our reports tell us that you spoke of this threat to no one. How is it that the other humans knew to respond?"
"My human brother was there serving as security. I simply alerted him to the presence of that Loyalist without the use of words, to avoid suspicion." She breathed in and out proudly. "He is a capable warrior. He knew what to do."
"Perhaps we should summon this brother of yours as well," one Council Member said thoughtfully.
Another one cut him off. "These summons will be enough. Lady Elda, why did you, yourself, enter the hall when you say your human brother was sufficient to respond to the threat?"
"I feared for his safety, Council Member. My loyalty to my own kind is as strong as it is to the Jaffa."
"You are a sim'ka to a Jaffa, are you not?"
"I am."
The members nodded to themselves and each other. "And it is also our understanding that you and this same brother were responsible for liberating the unfortunate Nameless from that moon?"
Amri shared a look with his father.
"Your understanding is correct, Council Member." She said this with as neutral a tone as she could muster. Elda was uncomfortable with this particular 'accomplishment' being recognized. It's what earned her an unwanted title. Two, actually.
"It would seem our Brother Teal'c chose his human compatriots well," one of the Jaffa concluded.
"Lady Elda, tell us what becomes of this Jaffa criminal your people have captured?"
"My human leadership has imprisoned him. They question him as we speak, offended by his daring attempt to extinguish both them and their Jaffa allies." She was reminding them that Earth had as much to potentially lose in this incident as they did.
"And what progress have they made in extracting information from him?"
"I am uncertain, Council Member. I have not returned to Earth to learn of their progress."
"Your human leadership has refrained from sharing that directly with us. One begins to wonder if they are able to acquire the information we seek at all."
She bit the inside of her cheek, sensing an insult in those words.
Elda became incensed.
"I will respectfully remind this Council that it was the Tau'ri who disabled the Loyalist who meant to level the largest city on Chulak. Your human allies saved Jaffa lives. They saved their own. This egregious and daring attempt to destabilize Jaffa freedom is of importance to us all. This Council has shown the upmost grace in allowing the Tau'ri to support you as your trusted ally. You would only continue to show wisdom and fairness by affording them adequate time to resolve this matter on your behalf."
Meil'nor breathed in a heavy breath of pride. All Elda needed was a little push and she spit out words that even the Council could not ignore. He felt he had chosen his Heir Presumptive well. The future of his tribe would be in good hands. Nothing could stop the smile on his face now as he watched her.
The Council Members shared looks. Elda remained expressionless and calm. A few raised their brows, but still more quirked small smiles over the bravery of this young human woman.
"The Council thanks you for your report, Lady Elda of Tek'ron. Shal kek."
Elda bowed low, but chose not to linger as Amri had. She wasn't going to give them that extra show of deference after they had quietly disrespected her people. She spun around, red cape flaring around her dramatically as she turned. She kept her chin held high as she returned to her Tribe Father's side.
Amri found himself further enthralled by this fascinating human female. Meil'nor did not fail to notice his mesmerized gaze.
The group of leaders was excused from the Council chambers and led out by guardsmen. Then they were left to do as they pleased.
"You did well," Meil'nor whispered into Elda's ear.
She bowed her head to him. "Thank you, Father."
"You impress me, Lady Elda," Master Garth said. "It would seem your titles are well-earned. It is made even more notable when one considers your youth. You may yet go far."
Elda bowed to him fully in proper thanks.
"Master Garth," Meil'nor said as she rose from her bow. Something about his tone made Elda take notice. He was unhappy.
"Old friend."
"Please ask your son to explain why he followed my Heir into the Great Hall."
Amri blinked. He let his eyes focus on anything but the people in front of him.
Garth raised a brow toward him. "Amri."
He did not speak for the first few seconds, gathering his thoughts. "Lady Elda expressed discomfort from the heat of Chulak. I merely sought to ensure she was properly met by her guards inside."
Meil'nor took a step toward him. His face revealed displeasure as he stared at him.
Elda merely watched the exchange with interest. She had a feeling she knew what was going on. And if she was right, both she and Jasuf would be quite satisfied in the end.
Garth recognized the warning on his friend's face. He was willing to entertain whatever this was. "Amri, what more is there to share?"
"Father," he said hesitantly.
It was then that Garth realized what his son might have done. He sighed heavily. "Master Meil'nor, my son will be corrected. I promise you that. We would not dishonor and endanger our alliance over such a trivial matter." He glared at Amri, who shied away from his stare.
Meil'nor tilted up his chin in satisfaction. "My thanks to you, old friend. My Heir and I must take our leave. Tal'ma'te." He placed a protective hand around her shoulder and led them away. Once out of sight, he leaned in. "You will inform me if that son makes any more inappropriate advances toward you."
Elda quirked a smile. "As you say, Father," she said with amusement. She then asked curiously, "You wouldn't really revise the terms of the alliance if he did that again, would you?"
"Kal'ma, I have promised you safety and security." He paused to tuck a finger under her chin. "If such things are ever compromised, then those who dishonor you shall be dealt with. Swiftly. Even if it means severing ties."
She breathed in. "You honor me."
"You honor me, by continuing to stand with our people and performing so admirably. Master Garth was correct when he said your titles are well-earned." He smiled at her. "I am glad to have met you, Kal'ma, and to have brought you into our family."
Elda swallowed, eyes shining. Her human instinct took over and she jumped into his arms to hug him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her easily and smiled.
When Jack walked into the gate room, Corporal Crawford was positioned at the bottom of the ramp. He placed himself next to the marine and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Corporal."
Crawford jumped a little, only just now noticing his presence. He was obviously distracted. Or was Jack O'Neill just that good of a ninja? Legends in the halls of the SGC implied as much. Crawford saluted properly to Jack. "General."
Jack gave him a small nod to make him relax. "Whatcha doin'?"
Crawford's eye twitched at the General's obvious lack of formality. "Waiting for my teammate to return, sir," he replied, turning back to the gate as it clicked.
"Me too."
The marine glanced askance at Jack in confusion. The kawoosh shot out toward them but had no hope of reaching them. It settled back into a calm puddle instead.
After a beat, a lone figure stepped through. The wormhole deactivated almost immediately with a high-pitched whine.
Elda scrunched her face at this curious combination of people in front of her. Her standard-issue military boots thumped along the ramp as she descended. She was back in her BDUs, as would be expected of her when reporting to work.
Crawford felt a little disappointed that she wasn't wearing another dress.
"General O'Neill," Elda said thoughtfully, putting on an air of distance with her tone. She looked at the marine. "Crawford."
They both nodded to her in greeting.
She tilted her head as she stood in front of them. "Is something wrong?"
"Is there?" Jack asked nonchalantly.
"That depends on your definition of wrong." She twisted her lips. "Or the degree of wrong we feel like caring about."
Crawford couldn't help his expression of amusement.
Jack quietly smiled at her, too. The marine noticed this then looked back at Elda. How the hell did she get in good with a three-star general that was everybody's boss anyway?
"So. What's new?" the boss asked.
Elda blinked once at her father, asking what was really going on. "Not much. What did you all do after the wedding?"
Jack pointed a thumb at Crawford. "He got debriefed. Colonel Pierce remanded that would-be bomber into SGC custody. The rest of us simply went home. What about you?"
"We went home, too."
"Yes, about that. Why didn't you come back here sooner?" Jack wondered.
Elda opened her mouth. Now she understood why her father was waiting for her like this. She was technically late. Crawford's presence here was a lot less surprising. He and Smith always tried to receive her when she returned to Earth. And maybe Smith wasn't here because he had yet to return from the space station.
"I had to make a side trip."
Jack arched a brow.
She donned a look that lacked amusement. "I was summoned by the Council." She frowned and looked away.
Jack coughed. "Council?"
Crawford furrowed his brow.
"The Jaffa High Council?" Jack clarified, tone raising slightly.
"Yup." Elda popped her lips, acting as if that was no big deal.
The General quietly breathed in. "Briefing room. Now."
Jack stared at his daughter in amazement as she recounted her visit to the largest governmental authority in all of the Free Jaffa Nation.
Sam sat next to him, blinking rapidly at her nonchalance. Hank was listening intently, mind swirling with thoughts of how to handle delicate diplomatic relations with one of Earth's most important allies.
"They expressed a lack of confidence in our ability to get the prisoner to talk. Complained about a lack of intel coming from this side." She looked down at her nails with something close to an eye-roll.
"And what did you tell them?" Hank asked.
"I used pretty words to tell them to have a little patience because Earth is doing all the work for their lazy bums."
Landry coughed uncomfortably.
"Elda," Jack said hesitantly. "Please tell me those were very pretty words."
Sam gritted her teeth. The rest of SG-3 just blinked as they stared at her.
"Oh yes, pretty as can be. Master Meil'nor thought I did well. So did Master Garth." She raised her brows briefly as she said it, seemingly confident in what she said.
Jack tilted his head. "Who's Garth?" He squinted. "He doesn't happen to have a buddy named Wayne, does he?"
Reynolds snorted. Sam shook her head.
Elda looked perplexed. "No," she said slowly. "He's the leader of Hibradeen, another Free Jaffa planet. Kind of a big deal. And an old friend of Meil'nor's."
"What was he doing there? Is he on the Council?"
"Oh, no, he's not. His son was summoned, too."
"Why?" Jack asked curiously. Sam gave him a look, noticing him derail again from their main topic of conversation.
"That son was a witness. He saw most of what went down in the hall after we went after the Loyalist. They wanted to hear his account of what happened."
Crawford raised his hand to ask for permission to speak. The leaders gave it. "Not that dude who was hanging around at the end, was it?" he asked of Elda while pointing at her.
"Exactly him."
"Why was he even there?"
She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Tell you later," she said quietly.
"No," Jack demanded. "Tell us now."
Sam and Hank shared a look.
Elda briefly considered refusing, because she knew exactly how her father would react. But seeing as how SG-3 minus Smith was here, she had to keep up appearances. He was in command; she was low in rank. She had to answer.
"Amri of Hibradeen was there because he followed me. He delayed my entry into the hall by trying to talk to me outside. I tried my very best to politely get him out of the way. But he misinterpreted my eagerness to leave as an invitation to go find a room."
Sam's eyes widened. "Oh God," she muttered. Between the provocative dress her daughter was wearing and all the alcohol flowing that night, Sam was unsurprised to hear that a random guy wanted to try his luck with her.
"Mmm hmm," Elda murmured.
Crawford's eyes narrowed. "Hibradeen?"
She nodded.
"The same guy that hit on you before?" he asked dangerously.
Elda shrugged.
Baker pointed an index finger in the air. "Ohhhhh, yeah."
"What." Jack's eye began twitching.
Elda hid her lips in her mouth briefly. "Don't worry! Meil'nor already put him in his place. He shouldn't try anything again." She grimaced. "He'd be putting an alliance at risk if he did."
Hank huffed in exasperation. "Let's circle back to why we're here, shall we?"
"Yes," Sam emphasized. "Let's."
Reynolds observed how Jack's face continued to twitch as he stared at Elda. He wondered what kind of magic powers Mal Dorans inherited to get everyone on their sides like that.
Hank then asked, "Miss Mal Doran, what else happened at the Jaffa High Council?"
"Nothing much. They just asked a few questions, insulted the Tau'ri, then dismissed me."
"It sounds like they're getting impatient," Hank muttered. "Colonel Reynolds?"
"We'll take care of the interrogation, sir," he promised again. Now that most of his team was here, they could begin to talk strategy. He was expecting Smith back any moment now.
Elda looked between them, confused. "Why are we taking over? Shouldn't it be done by now?"
Reynolds gritted his teeth, grunting a little. "Our colleagues haven't made much headway with that Jaffa so far. The Council hasn't received any intel because there's none to give. Yet."
Her mouth dropped open briefly. Her eyes flitted to her parents and Uncle Hank at the head of the table. "Oh." She looked left, then right. "Maybe it's because we're all human," she guessed.
Elda began to think.
Reynolds eyed her. "I see gears turning."
"Yep, me too," his 2IC agreed.
Jack stood. The military personnel followed. Elda felt compelled to stand as well. "I'll leave you to it. Get us the intel ASAP. I want to know who this guy works for, and if there's more trouble coming."
"Yes, sir."
When the Loyalist awoke, he realized he was hanging upside-down from a tree. His hazy vision cleared to reveal he was in a nondescript forest. It was a stark contrast to the bland gray walls of the cell he had been inhabiting.
He shook his head to further clear the fog from his mind. Whatever those humans did to him, it was passing now. He craned his neck to look at his feet. They were securely tied to ropes, which he followed back toward a large branch high off the ground. His hands were still bound in metal cuffs behind him.
It would take time to free himself.
He heard rustling to his left and noted a Jaffa had appeared. He bore the mark of the late Goa'uld Ptah. They eyed each other silently.
"Free me," the Loyalist demanded.
The other Jaffa did not answer. He simply circled him.
The prisoner realized what must be happening. "The humans failed and so they have handed me over to Jaffa for questioning. How fitting."
The silent Jaffa rounded him and stared at him from eye-level.
"You shall waste your time as well. I will say nothing. You may kill me now and be done with it."
His supposed captor simply walked away, disappearing into the forest. He strode until he reached a small clearing where a few huts were spaced unevenly apart. He climbed into the large one in the center and sat among the people there.
"Well?" Elda asked.
"He is awake," Goru replied. "Defiant. Confident. Not ready for questioning."
She tilted her head, unsurprised. "We wait then," she said patiently. She laid some playing cards down in front of her. "Royal flush," she declared.
The four marines around her groaned. Reynolds threw his cards down in a huff.
Elda wiggled her fingers at them. "Come on," she prompted.
They all pushed their chips toward her.
Goru squinted at their game with its strange pieces. "What do you call this?"
"Elda winning," she replied effortlessly.
The Jaffa smiled.
Smith pointed into the air. "We should have played Monopoly instead."
Baker gestured at her meaningfully. "That would be foreshadowing her takeover of the galaxy. No thanks."
"Huh?"
"Nevermind, Cakes."
"I would need to drink if we ever tried that with her," Crawford declared.
Smith pointed behind him. "We left actual drinks here in the other hut," he said thoughtfully.
"For real?" his friend said with interest.
"Hell yeah. The Village of Smith must always be stocked with alcohol," the marine declared.
"I'd like to remind you that as tempting as that sounds, we're still on duty," Reynolds said.
"After we extract intel from the Loyalist, then," Elda suggested. "Goru? Would you like to learn this game?"
He put up a hand. "Thank you, My Lady, but no. I will merely enjoy watching you dominate your human brothers instead."
"Hey!" a few of the marines protested.
Elda shrugged. "Suit yourself." A communicator chimed. Elda pulled a small device out of her vest pocket. "Lo'zim, speak."
"Lady Elda, your prisoner has begun to struggle against his bonds. Shall I disable him?"
"Let him free himself if he can. I want to know what skill he possesses. Herd him to the next trap, if need be," she said.
The marines quietly watched her give orders as if it was nothing. They noted how Goru didn't even blink. The human men shrugged to each other. Nothing wrong with having someone on the team who could command Jaffa.
"As you say, My Lady." The communicator clicked off.
"So? What game's next?" she asked casually.
He hit the ground running. His wrists were bleeding from the effort to remove the metal cuffs, but he didn't care. He was free.
The Loyalist ignored the way his vision blurred temporarily when blood receded from his head. It had been pooling there after prolonged suspension upside-down.
He hurried in the opposite direction that he saw the other Jaffa leave, presuming there must be a gate somewhere on this world. His eyes scanned the ground for well-worn paths or broken twigs. Anything that would indicate someone had come through here recently.
He kept his ears open for pursuers and was encouraged to hear nothing but local birds.
Then something caught his eye.
There was a small sparkle on a bush nearby. He headed toward it. He found it was a shred of shimmering blue fabric, likely torn off of a woman's dress as she passed. It reminded him of the dress worn by that offensive human woman at the wedding he meant to destroy. His eyes darted around, scanning for signs of people.
His gaze was captured by a similar shred of fabric further away on a different bush. This time, it appeared to have blood smeared on it. The Loyalist smiled, imagining one of his brethren might have caught the female and tortured her. How satisfying that would be if that were really the case.
Well, if she had been taken somewhere, then perhaps her captors were like-minded Jaffa. He could enlist them for help in getting off this world.
He noted the broken branches and trampled brush that indicated someone was dragged along the ground. He followed the path, seeing spots of blood every so often on leaves or against tree trunks. Likely the female, if that is who it was, clawed desperately at anything she could grab a hold of. He recognized the signs of a struggle easily.
The trail led him to a high ridge. The aftermath of someone's capture and desperation ended there. He gazed out at the landscape, seeing lush greenery for as far as the eye could see. Below him was a steep drop. One would need ropes and proper equipment to venture down there. In the distance, between openings in the treetops, he spied a pack of animals roaming the woods. This appeared to be a bountiful world. The Loyalist wondered if he could also claim it for his master. He would be richly rewarded for that.
A strange noise sounded off behind him. A modestly-sized animal, pink and fat, squealed in fear and ran in his direction. The Loyalist watched as it circled his feet in a tizzy. He squinted, having never seen a creature like this before. It was behaving so strangely, causing him to step to the side in an effort to avoid it.
The movement caused his foot to become caught in a trap. A loop of rope suddenly wrapped around his ankle and pulled him down off the ledge. His head hit the side of the cliff and bounced off.
Stunned, the Jaffa breathed in and out. He realized he was upside-down again, but this time, he was suspended over the drop. If he fell here, he would contact the ground head-first and surely die.
A shuttle suddenly appeared next to him. Its forward port was darkened, preventing him from seeing who was inside. It hummed loudly in his ears and sent a wave of super-heated air in his direction as it hovered close. The vessel rotated until a hatch on the side faced him.
It opened to reveal a single human male within the doorway. He was dressed in typical galactic wear.
"Oink oink, motherfucker," Smith greeted with a smile.
The Loyalist breathed out in frustration. "Wonderful," he muttered. "Another human."
The marine pointed at himself. "Not just any human. The name's Carm, and I'm your ticket outta here."
"Of what do you speak," the Jaffa asked flatly.
"Word on the street is that you have access to some pretty nasty bombs. I have a buyer who would love to know how you got one."
The Jaffa narrowed his eyes. "How is it that you knew I was here?"
"Buddy, I put your ass there. I knew you wouldn't stop to talk, seeing as how you were escapin' from those Jaffa brothers of yours. So I gave you a reason to take a nice, comfortable breather." Smith grinned at him, upside-down.
"That does not explain how you knew I would be on this world."
The marine scrunched his face as if he shouldn't be revealing a secret. "Look, I won't go into detail, but I keep an eye on things. When the Tau'ri couldn't crack you, they brought you here to let the Jaffa have you. Problem is: these folks are slow. And easily distracted. I could tell you'd break free eventually. I left that part up to you. Meanwhile, I'm doing your upside-down ass a nice favor."
The Loyalist barely understood this human's talk, but he sensed that he was devious and conniving. He didn't trust him.
Smith cupped a hand around his ear in a listening gesture. "Listen," he said, smiling mischievously.
Beyond the loud hum of his shuttle, the Jaffa recognized the sounds of staff fire. He became puzzled, wondering who was firing on who.
"There's your favor. While those Jaffa are busy, you could easily be running hard to a gate. I made sure the distraction would be a good ways away and require them to send all hands toward the fight."
"And am I to presume you will free me from this trap if I supply you with the information you seek?" the Jaffa asked dubiously.
Smith pointed a finger gun at him and clicked his tongue. "Bingo."
The Loyalist contorted his face at the strange term. He gazed toward his feet, barely secured by the rope. He let his eyes wander to the ground. It appeared rocky and sharp. He could hear howls of the animal pack drawing closer, as if sensing his disadvantage. He sighed outwardly. "How do I know you will not simply turn me over to the other Jaffa?"
Smith brought a hand to his chest and widened his eyes. "Now, I am just plain offended by that question. I am a courier with some integrity, alright? If I say imma do something, then it's gonna git done." He tsked. "I did not set all this up just to be insulted. Shoot, maybe I'll have to find a different source for my buyer instead." He waved a dismissive hand at the Jaffa dramatically. "Have fun gettin' out of this one."
He hit the button on the panel and the hatch began to close.
"Wait!"
The whirring sound reversed. The hatch re-opened.
Smith stood there with his arms crossed. "Yes?"
"I will tell you what you wish to know. Then you will free me from this cursed position and let me leave."
Staff fire continued in the distance. The Jaffa presumed the fight was still ongoing.
"Mmm… let me think about it."
A look of absolute frustration overtook the Jaffa's face as he was made to wait.
"Yeah, okay. Deal." Smith rubbed his hands together. "So? Where'd ya get the bomb?"
"There is a world deep within the territories of Atum. It is known for harboring the basic components essential to all Goa'uld-designed detonation devices."
"Atum, you say? Does he do deals?"
"Your God would never bother to gaze upon the likes of you, a lowly human swindler. You would just as soon become a plaything for his children." The Loyalist jeered at Smith.
There was a glint in the marine's eye now. The Jaffa had just confirmed who he served with all that brash talk.
"Eh," he said nonchalantly. "Not surprised." Then he brought a hand up to his chin. "What if… I made an offering? Would he talk deal then?"
"Your offering would need to be substantial to gain an audience with the Mighty Atum."
"How substantial are we talkin' here? Like a shipment of big, juicy pigs?"
The Jaffa looked at him, confused.
Smith gestured with his hands. "You know, round? Fat? Tasty when fried up with eggs over easy?" He waved his hand in the air toward the Jaffa and tilted his head to the side. "Ahh, never… Oh! Just like that animal I sent to get you caught up in this trap."
The Jaffa couldn't tell if this human's stupidity was a birth defect or acquired somehow through poor decision-making. Either way, he found himself insulted on his master's behalf. "If you dared to offer such a meager contribution, I would shoot you where you stood myself!"
Smith pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Yeah, okay, no pigs. Well? What does he like?"
"To see all the supposedly-Free Jaffa beg for his mercy," the upside-down Loyalist said menacingly.
"Hmm. That's a big ask." Smith scratched his head. "Dunno if I could give him that." He shrugged. "Eh. I'll think of something." He knocked on the inside of the ship, signaling to his pilot to get ready to move. "Say, after I free you, any chance I could look you up again? Ya know, in case I want to run other ideas by you to get in good with your boss?"
The Jaffa just barely interpreted his strange phrasing. "You truly wish an audience with Atum?"
Smith bared his hands outward. "Buddy. What have we been talking about for the past few minutes, huh? Heck yeah, I wanna meet your boss! My buyer wants his bombs. If you say your boss controls a goddamn bomb world, then shit, my client wants in!"
The Jaffa sighed. He was growing tired of this unintelligent human's persistence. "What would your buyer be able to supply in return?"
"Depends. Does your master like naquedah? Raw crystals? Ships? Weapons?"
He raised a brow, which in his upside-down state, was actually a lowered brow. "He likely requires additional ships and weapons so that he may launch attacks on Free Jaffa strongholds."
Smith stared at him for a beat. Then he slowly sneered. "That'll work." He brought a couple fingers up to his mouth and let out a loud whistle.
The sound made the Jaffa cringe.
The ship rose higher so that the open hatch was level with the ropes above his feet. The Loyalist felt himself being hauled up. He tried to see how it was being done, but the hatch was obscuring the mechanism of his freedom.
Above him, Baker and Smith were both leaning over to hold the rope. Elda slowly maneuvered the ship up and over, allowing the Jaffa to be dropped onto solid ground.
He never saw Smith's companions. The rope was cut.
After the Jaffa quickly freed his ankle from the rope looped around it, he gazed upwards to see Smith peeking over at him from the hatch. "Gate's that-a-way," he said, pointing. The human did a little wave then retreated back into his ship. The vessel closed itself and flew away.
The Loyalist quickly began to run. Staff weapons fire continued to sound off in the distance. The closer he got to the gate, the further away the fight seemed to be.
Seated at the co-pilot's console of the Firefly, Crawford radioed, "Colonel, target is on the move and headed your way."
"Copy."
The team carefully watched as the ship's enhanced sensors showed a red dot moving toward the gate. It was tracking the Zershan-supplied transmitter that was planted on the Loyalist while he was unconscious.
Eventually, the Loyalist reached the gate. It would seem the courier was a human of his word. He quickly dialed, then noted the address he chose did not connect. He tried a different point of origin over and over until the gate finally responded with a kawoosh. He hurriedly ran into the wormhole without looking back.
When the gate deactivated, Reynolds stepped into view. "Firefly, we have an address."
"Acknowledged, Colonel. We're swinging by to pick you up."
Reynolds turned to the Jaffa who were there with him. He held out a hand to Goru, who grasped forearms with him easily. He did the same with Lo'zim. "Thanks, guys, for all your help. Earth appreciates it."
"It is our pleasure, ColonelReynolds," Goru replied diplomatically.
"Indeed," Lo'zim responded, "it is always a delight to witness the good works of Lady Elda and her brothers."
Mitchell laughed loudly at his desk. He grinned easily over at Reynolds, who was seated at his.
The marine just chuckled quietly as he finished some paperwork in their shared office.
Behind them, Pierce looked absolutely bewildered. "A pig?"
Reynolds pointed up with an index finger. "Holographic pig."
Mitchell just laughed louder. "Who knew that's what it would take to crack a hard-ass Jaffa!" He banged on the table in mirth.
Pierce gestured at his screen, which had Reynolds's mission report pulled up. "What about the fight supposedly happening during your op?"
"Audio, courtesy of our own tech from the Training Grounds planet."
"So the holo-pig wasn't our tech?"
"Smith's space station girlfriend supplied that stuff. Pretty nifty," Reynolds said.
"Fucking hilarious if you asked me," Mitchell countered.
Pierce muttered, "Jesus Christ, I need me a Mal Doran."
"It wasn't all Elda's ideas, ya know."
"Really," Mitchell said with interest.
"Everybody contributed," Reynolds reported casually. "Elda and her Jaffa supplied the fake trail for the target to follow. Smith chose the pig to herd the Jaffa into our trap. Baker suggested the fight audio as the distraction. Crawford thought it would be a good idea to leave eyes on the gate to catch the address if we really did let the guy escape."
"So you didn't know you were going to let him go?" Pierce clarified.
"Nope. But we tagged him just in case." Reynolds pointed at his boot, implying that they had slipped a tracker in the Jaffa's shoe.
"Don't you think the High Council would have wanted us to turn him over?" Mitchell asked.
"Elda says she'll go back and explain that this is a better deal. She's handing over all the intel and where to find the bomber. If they wanna go after him, it'll be up to them."
Mitchell and Pierce looked at each other in confusion.
Cam repeated, "Go back? What do you mean she'll go back?"
"She's already been there before?" Pierce asked.
Reynolds looked between them. "Yeah. And while she was there, she bought us time to finish the interrogation." He now looked very satisfied. "Apparently she fought back with pretty words when they tried to insult us."
"Shit," Mitchell marveled. "Wish I coulda been there to see it."
"Ya know what? Me too." Then Reynolds looked contemplative. "But I tell you what we do have: a recording of how Smith interrogated the mark. Pretty fucking funny. Guy's a real comedian."
His colleagues grinned, eager to hear it.
Elda bounced on her heels when Aurelia stepped through the gate. She squealed in excitement over her friend's arrival. "Rellie!"
The dark-haired woman smiled at Elda's enthusiasm. She descended the ramp to place her hands in hers. The eyes of the defense team members tracked her as she passed. They tried not to react to how beautiful she was. They'd heard about her, but seeing was believing. Smith was one lucky motherfucker, they thought.
Elda pulled on Aurelia's hand to exit the gate room. She hooked arms with her and brought her straight to her quarters. She showed Aurelia some civilian clothes to borrow and gave her the space to change.
When her friend came back out, she stood awkwardly looking down at herself in a simple T-shirt and denim jeans. "Did I do this right?" she wondered.
Elda smiled. "You look just fine. Come on." She next brought her to the infirmary. When they passed through the main double-doors, the ward was calm. They went straight to the nurse's station. "Morning."
Someone seated there looked up from her computer. "Hi, Elda. What brings you here?"
"Is Dr. Lam around?"
The nurse clicked around at her work station. "She's in with a patient right now. But she might be finishing up soon, if you want to wait. I see she blocked out her schedule after this." The staff member presumed her boss's next obligation was to them, seeing as how the medical representative who supplied them with all their new goodies was here with Elda.
"Yeah, sure. Thanks." Elda gestured for them to hang out in seats outside of the ward. They picked a wide bench to inhabit.
Rellie sat down and gazed around. "So what's the plan?"
"Carolyn told me she's signing you out of the base today using her privileges. Said I get to come with." Elda clapped her hands happily. "We're taking you shopping!"
Her friend smiled. "Because I can't wear my usual station clothes outside of here, right?" she verified, thinking of her Station Medical uniform.
Elda shook her head. "Right. Once we go up to the surface, we need to blend in. Pretend we're one of the locals." She pulled on her own civilian T-shirt and jeans for emphasis.
"I still don't understand why."
"Honestly? Me neither. But it's easier than you think. We're both human."
"Does that mean Jaffa like your boyfriend don't come here to visit?"
"Ehh…" Elda tilted her head. "I haven't tried inviting anyone. I'm barely here as it is. I usually just go to Jasuf. If he were to come here, I would need help figuring out how to get him clothes that'll fit and something to cover his mark," she said thoughtfully, pointing up at her own forehead.
"Ohhh, right. Does that mean Master Teal'c doesn't leave here either?"
"Well, he does. But he wears some sort of hat to cover up his mark wherever he goes. And he's lived here on Earth long enough to know how to behave as locals do." Elda shrugged, realizing it would be a feat to get Jasuf onworld and comfortable. She couldn't ever imagine it happening. There was no real reason to bring him here when she didn't technically have a place off-base herself. She was just borrowing her mother's condo from time to time. And that's only if one of the family was available to drive her there and back.
Aurelia's case was different, though. She was being asked to attend an event out in public later that afternoon. They had to prepare her for it.
The double-doors opened to reveal Carolyn at the entrance. She'd already left behind her lab coat and changed into civilian clothing. "There you girls are."
Elda smiled. "Ready?"
"Yeah." She grasped hands with Aurelia in greeting. "Let's go."
They went through the motions of signing out of the base and heading up the elevators to the parking lot.
Rellie pointed. "What do you call these?" she asked curiously.
"Cars," Carolyn replied.
"Standard ground transport around here," Elda explained.
Their friend looked curiously at all the vehicles, noting that none of them were the same. They were led to a gray sedan sitting in the middle of a lane. Its tail lights flickered as Carolyn held out a key fob to unlock it remotely. They helped Rellie into the front passenger seat and belted her in. She examined the inside of the vehicle interestedly as the others settled in.
Carolyn started the car. She instantly reached for the volume button when music started blasting through the speakers. "We'll head to the mall. I'm thinking… Dillard's will have what we need. One and done," she announced.
"How does one acquire clothes here?" Rellie asked as the car started backing out slowly.
While her aunt was busy concentrating on maneuvering the vehicle, Elda answered, "We pay with local currency, just like on station." She gasped a little. "Ooh! I could finally use mine, Carolyn!"
She laughed. "Finally."
"Oh we're going to make you look really nice," Elda declared, rubbing her hands together in the back seat.
And so they did. Elda even found a new Earth-appropriate dress for herself to wear at the department store. Carolyn just shook her head at her niece. She had the same penchant for shopping as Vala. She guessed she wasn't all that surprised. Another version of Vala did raise her.
After they were done, Carolyn dropped them both off at Sam's condo to finish getting ready. Then she went back to work.
Rellie sat on the couch while Elda got on the phone. By now, her parents had acquired a cell phone for her to use while on Earth. "Smitty, Darling."
"Hey Baby."
"Rellie and I are onworld. We just finished shopping!" she reported excitedly.
Rellie could hear him chuckling. She perked up.
"Where you guys at now?"
"Wouldn't you like to know…"
"Yeah, actually, I would. Am I meeting you guys at the base?"
"Nope. I'll send you the address. You need to be our ride."
He groaned. "Y'all better be ready when I come get you. You got two hours, Cakes. No dilly-dallying."
"Yes, sir!" Elda grinned. She could just feel Smith rolling his eyes. They said their goodbyes and let the call end. She pulled Rellie up off the couch. "Come on. Time to play with Colonel Carter's hair things."
When Smith pulled up in his car, he leaned down to gaze through his windshield at the four-story condominium. He scrunched his face in confusion, wondering if he had the right place. He found some visitor parking and got out of the car. He went to what looked like a main entrance and examined all the doorbell buttons. The unit number he wanted had no name next to it, but supposedly, that's the one Elda told him to buzz.
He gave it a shot. The main door clicked loudly, signaling it was now unlocked. Smith ventured in and found an elevator to take him to the level that corresponded to the bell he'd rung. It was a pretty average-looking hallway. Basic brown carpet, dark enough to hide stains. Bland, bare walls. He reached the right door and knocked.
When Elda opened it up, Smith had a suspicious look on his face.
"Smitty!" She welcomed him in.
He looked her up and down, noting she had on a dress he'd never seen before. "Elda… since when do you have a place off-base?"
"I don't," she said nonchalantly.
His eyes naturally started scanning his surroundings. "Then what is this?" His gaze settled on a picture frame sitting on the kitchen counter. He quickly picked it up and looked at her in surprise. The photo featured Jack, Sam and Little Gracie, from when she was a lot younger. "What the Hell? This is General O'Neill's place!?" He shook his head at her in exasperation.
Elda grabbed the frame out of his hands and put it back. "No, it's not." She shrugged. "This is Colonel Carter's." She said it so casually.
Smith put his hands on his hips. "Same difference, Baby Cakes."
"I'm just borrowing it."
He raised a brow. "Borrowing. Really."
"Yeah. What's the problem?"
"Cakes, you don't just borrow the private residence of the Head of Homeworld Command!"
"I told you, Darling, this belongs to his wife."
He groaned loudly. "I swear to God. I don't know how you got your superpowers but they're scary as fuck," he complained.
Elda bared her hands outward. "What?"
He pointed at her. "You worm your little way into everybody's hearts and just make them love you. Like you can brainwash anybody."
She started laughing. She reached out to pinch his cheeks, then hugged him tightly. Elda squeezed Smith with affection and even dropped a chaste kiss on his cheek.
He scrunched his face and pulled away. "Girl, watch the threads." He pushed her slightly. "I need to look right today."
"You're just wearing your uniform."
"Yeah, and it needs to look right!" he repeated. Then his eyes caught sight of Aurelia exiting the washroom. He instantly forgot about Elda. "Daaaaaaaaamn."
Her hair was artfully curled into waves that cascaded around her shoulders. She was wearing a pretty, flowery dress that showed off her curves. Smith grinned and pulled her into his arms. Rellie smiled at him. "Hi, Gordy."
"Hey. You look beautiful."
Elda rolled her eyes when he began to kiss Aurelia deeply. When they kept going, she started looking down at her nails. "You're welcome, by the way," she said flatly.
Smith broke off the kiss. "What are you talkin' about," he said, eyes still on Rellie in admiration.
"I got her all ready for your ceremony thing. Now she'll be the prettiest thing there. Just like you wanted."
He kissed Rellie chastely, over and over. "Thanks, Baby," he said distractedly.
"Ya know, I could have sworn you said we needed to be ready to go. As if it was important we leave right away?"
Smith sighed. "Have you always been this annoying?"
Elda sent him a snooty look. "I thought you loved me."
Aurelia started laughing.
He looked back at her. "I do. Now shut the fuck up."
Elda harumphed.
"Marines to be promoted. Center! March!"
Elda quirked a smile as she watched Smith and Crawford appear from behind all the marines from the SGC. Their colleagues stood in proper formation facing Lt. Baker and Colonel Reynolds. Her teammates paused in front of everyone, then spun just right to face their commanding officers.
She held Rellie's hand next to her, who was watching the proceedings with interest. Nearby, Chelsea stood next to Crawford's mother, was actually able to make the trip out here to Colorado for this. Smith's parents, unfortunately, could not.
Flags were lined up nearby, flapping gently in the breeze outside the base. The weather was kind today, offering them bright sunshine and a comfortable temperature for the outdoor ceremony.
"To all who shall see these presents, greetings…"
Elda couldn't keep up with all the things that her boss was reciting as he read from a special placard in his hands. But she sensed that whatever he was saying was steeped in tradition.
"…I do appoint these Marines: Sergeants in the United States Marine Corps…"
She grinned.
He continued on, outlining expectations and declaring how others of lesser grade were expected to follow their orders. He recited the date, then named himself. "…Malcolm D. Reynolds, Colonel, United States Marine Corps. Commanding."
Baker then called out, "Aurelia Thel and Elda Mal Doran."
The pair stepped forward. Elda winked at Smith, who remained deathly still. He offered them the chevrons that they would pin onto his lapels. The girls took a moment to pin him as everyone watched. He smiled softly when they both kissed his cheeks simultaneously. The marines behind them barely stifled grins and held themselves in place.
Next it was Crawford's turn. Reynolds and Baker took quick, proper steps in his direction, then pivoted to face him. Soon his mother and girlfriend were called forth to pin him as well. Elda bounced in place a little in excitement, happy for him that his mother could attend. When pinning was done, his mom held his face in her hands and smooched her son on the forehead.
After the ceremony was completed and Elda's boys marched away, Reynolds placed his people at ease. All the marines cheered for their newly-promoted buddies.
"Daddy," Elda said pleadingly. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?" She held up two hands in a praying motion within view of the camera.
"Kid…" Jack complained from his office. He huffed a little, noticing just how well his daughter had retained her infamous puppy dog eyes. The younger version of her just used those on him earlier this morning. Gracie asked for juice before she'd even earned it by eating a decent breakfast. He had caved immediately.
"I promise we will come right back!"
"You don't have authorization…"
"You could give authorization!" she argued. "You're the Man!"
Jack brought two fingers up to the space between his eyes and squeezed. When he looked back at his daughter on the monitor, she was blinking at him in anticipation. Her face was the picture perfect image of an angel. "Dammit."
She squealed. "Yay! Thank you, Daddy!" She clapped her hands excitedly.
He pointed a finger at her. "No crazy space station ops!"
Elda shook her head emphatically. "I swear! We won't do anything but celebrate! We won't even draw our blasters!"
"Good!" He gritted his teeth, wondering just how in the hell she had convinced him to let her and Crawford visit the space station with Ambassador Smith for no good reason other than to party. He realized with annoyance at himself that his daughter had him wrapped around her little finger. Twice over, actually, because he had twins.
Sam would never let him live this down.