Refraction Case Four Part Four
"The Weight of Heavy Things"
"You would stand in the room so still sometimes, so wordless sometimes, as if the greatest betrayal of yourself would be to reveal one more inch of your character." -Michael Ondaatje
She stood, surveying the Tea Shop. It already looked much better. Gene had managed to help quite a bit.
She didn't see him anywhere though.
He must have gone on to the dream then.
Pausing, she took a deep breath, opening the door. She wasn't sure she was ready to watch another suicide, but she wasn't willing to do nothing, either.
She recognized the Church immediately, though there were differences.
It looked newer, the windows gleaming, entryway swept. The paths were even, the gravel obviously recently raked. Flowers bloomed here and there, the landscaping was well maintained, lovingly so, if she had to guess.
But more than that, the aura of sadness that surrounded the Church upon their first visit was conspicuously absent. The sun streamed down, and the whole area felt peaceful.
She walked forward curiously.
Whose memory was this?
Looking around, she spied Gene in the doorway, half-obscured in the shadows. He raised a finger to his ear, pantomiming for "listen".
She stepped closer, trying to peer inside.
There were two figures, their clothing several decades out of current fashion. They were even deeper in the shadows, and she couldn't make their faces out.
They appeared to be arguing.
"Hiro, please." The woman begged, clutching the other figure's arm. "You are not yourself lately. This is just what happened to our Mother. I beg you, go to a physician."
The man scoffed. His voice had a wild tinge to it, discordant. Manic almost. "I refuse to be locked away like Father did to our Mother. The Lord is the only Doctor I need. My faith is absolute, An."
"Brother, please listen to me. Even the parishioners are starting to notice how strange your moods have become. Fewer than ever came to this morning's mass." The woman tried again, pleading.
There was the sound of a slap and Mai covered her mouth reflexively. Gene placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
The only Priests she had ever personally encountered had seemed calm and gentle, like John.
There was a stunning silence from within, followed by quiet weeping.
Mai awoke back in her bed in the motel, tears drying on her cheeks. She stared at the ceiling for a moment, steadying her breathing. When the dream's emotions had lessened their grip on her, she sat up, reaching for her dream journal.
She had decided to keep a separate journal for cases, one that she wrote in with the intentions of everyone on the team being potentially privy too. She replaced Gene's name with the simple Kanji for "Guide."
The others knew she now had a guide again, and if they had their own theories about her guide's return coinciding with Naru's return, they kept them to themselves.
Masako had seen Mai document her dreams enough times to wait until Mai was finished writing before she greeted her.
"Case related?" She asked as Mai capped her pen.
"Yeah, I think so." Mai said thoughtfully. The girls quickly dressed and met the others downstairs. There was a family style restaurant just across from their motel, so they decided to convene there for breakfast and the morning rundown.
Mai somehow found herself between Naru and Lin. The tension was enough to make her food hard to swallow, but she persevered as best as she could. Last night's stolen moments in the stairwell felt like they may as well as have been a dream as well.
She understood Naru's tension, but what had she done to upset Lin this time?
She watched John surreptitiously as she ate. As hard as this was for her, she couldn't imagine how hard it must be for John to do an investigation in a church. She knew he missed his true calling, no matter what he said (or, more accurately, didn't say.)
After everyone had more or less finished their meal, Naru got down to business.
"Yasu, you're on research. The next closest church has been storing the documents for this one for several years now. They've agreed to give you full access. Here's the address." Naru slid the address across the table to Yasu. "Remember, if the police closed prior cases as quickly as they did the caretaker's last night, we can't expect any paperwork to be 100% accurate."
Yasu nodded. "I'll make sure to talk to as many people as I can, to try and ferret out any inconsistencies."
"Lin and Bou-San will finish setting up base. Masako, this is your last day. I want you do walk through the entire interior, marking a map with any activity you notice. John, you'll go with her. You have the best understanding of the lay out of a Catholic Church. You'll also notice if anything is out of the ordinary. Take one of the two-way radios with you, and contact Lin immediately if anything seems strange." John and Masako nodded. John's face seemed slightly strained, but if the situation was upsetting him, he wasn't going to say anything, it seemed.
"Mai, we're going to set cameras and thermometers." Naru finished.
Mai opened her mouth to argue, as did Lin, but Naru cut them both off. "No arguments. Bou-San and Lin are the two team members who fall squarely into this target's preferred victim profile. The base already has the charms Ayako made for us set up inside."
Lin closed his mouth reluctantly, shooting her an inscrutable look. Bou-San merely smiled crookedly before nodding his assent.
She wondered if Lin really had overheard her and Naru's fight two nights ago.
Without further discussion, they left and headed towards the Church, except for Yasu, who headed out to do his research.
Mai had passed her journal around the table at breakfast, so the others knew the content of her dream. Unfortunately, other than the first names, it didn't give them much to go on.
As she stared up at the Church, the contrast between its current state and it's prior glory were even more apparent.
"Should we split up and work floor by floor, it might be quicker?" She said to Naru, picking up a box of the recording equipment. Without answering her, Naru picked up his own box and walked past her, and she followed finally, unsure as whether to take his lack of response as a yes or no.
"We'll work on the same floor together. Don't go further than a room away." He said finally, and she frowned.
Yes, she had gotten tangled up in the ghost's vision yesterday, but so had Masako, darn it. He had been the one to reassure her that it wasn't her fault, after all.
Plus, she had her own radio. She opened her mouth to argue, but remembering the tension at breakfast this morning, she decided this wasn't 'The hill she wanted to die on', to quote her mother.
They worked quickly, not having to fear that a misplaced step would send them plummeting through the floor. Though dusty, the Church was still structurally sound.
Her mind kept going back to her dream, and how different the Priest had seemed from John. Even after everything that had happened, John was still gentle and kind.
By the next floor, she was sweaty and dirty, but they were making good time so she didn't protest Naru's slave-driving pace. She was on the last room when the view out the window caught her eye.
Walking over, she placed her hand on the glass. It was cool, despite the heat of the day. She could see the small cemetery they had passed yesterday. From here she could actually see its entirety. It was different from the Shrine where she visited her parents. A black wrought iron fence marked its borders. Climbing plants twined along the posts, and several of the stones tilted or leaned.
Who cared for that place?
She felt something dance and spark along the far reaches of her consciousness.
The caretaker had obviously cared for the building while neglecting the grounds.
Along one side of the fence, the grass seemed thinner on the outside.
Had there once been a path there? Did it matter?
The cemetery hadn't featured in her dream, yet something about it called to her. Was the spirit they were searching for buried there?
"Mai!" Naru called crossly from the door and she jumped. She felt herself slide back into her own skin, sound and sensation returning. She'd gone a little deeper without realizing it.
"Naru, I think there may be a path down there-" She started to gesture to the window.
"I don't pay you to stand around and daydream!" He snapped, sounding furious. Muscles taunt, he ate up the space around him.
She froze in place, all thoughts of the path flying from her mind. She stared at him in wide-eyed shock.
Even Naru looked taken aback by his tone.
She opened her mouth to reply and realized she was shaking. She wrapped her arms around herself, digging her nails ever so slightly into her forearms to try and ground herself.
Had Naru EVER spoken to her like that before? Her chest tightened and tears pricked at her eyes, but she forced them back.
Had he ever actually yelled at her? The stolen moments in the stairwell last night seemed further away than ever. The contrast between the Naru who had reassured her last night and the one standing in front of her was shocking.
"I apologize." The words were stiff. "That was uncalled for."
"I'm going to go help Bou-San." She said finally, pushing past him, hurrying towards the stairs. She shouldn't leave him alone, she knew.
But she honestly didn't care at that moment. Panic beat like a bird in her chest. Memories of the Priest slapping his sister rang in her ears.
She half stumbled on the last step, her ankle twinging quietly in protest but she ignored it. She needed motion, or she would start crying.
'It's just this place...' she told herself. 'It's so sad it's affecting you.'
She absolutely wasn't crying because Naru was a jerk.
She burst into base, a flurry of motion that had both Lin and Bou-San startling from their work on the equipment.
"Jou-chan?" Bou-san asked, the old nickname as familiar as a worn blanket from childhood.
"Let me help." She said, instead of answering his unspoken question. She smiled, and could feel the brittle edges of it hurt her face.
Silly little girl.
"There's not much left to do." Lin said, looking behind her, probably for Naru.
"Where's Noll?" He asked.
"Still upstairs." She replied, refusing to feel guilty. He wanted her to work after all. So she'd find some damn work...
"No one is to go anywhere alone!" Lin snapped, and she threw up her hands in frustration.
First Naru, now Lin.
"Then go find him." She snapped, throwing her hands up.
He glared at her for a moment before briskly stepping out of the base.
"Mai?" Bou-san said quietly, leaning down to peak at her face where she'd hid behind her bangs as she busied herself straightening the last few cords and wires.
"Hmmm." She answering, turning from his all too knowing eyes.
"Mai..." he sang her name and she smiled despite herself, starting to calm down.
"Did you and Naru get in a fight?" He finished softly, leaning against the table.
"Absolutely not." She deadpanned.
He narrowed his eyes. "Want me to beat him up? Okay, realistically. Want me to distract Lin by allowing him to kick my ass while you throw things at Naru from the top of the stairs?"
She absolutely didn't pause in consideration for a short (short, short SHORT) moment.
"Nah. I'm good." She smiled at him fondly. She could feel her pulse begin to slow. She forced herself to take a few deep breaths. Her arms stung a little from where she'd pricked herself with her own nails, but a quick glance down reassured her she wasn't bleeding.
"Okay." He nodded. "So, are you fighting with Lin?"
She sighed. "Maybe?"
"Maybe?"
"Well, I mean, how would a person even know? Would he give them the silent treatment? Type harder? Stare at the monitors in angry tension?" She said, trying to make light of the situation between her and the Onmyoji.
"You know kid, just say the word. We'll jump in the car, Yasu can trigger the phone tree. We'll leave the jerks here and all go to a movie..." She hit his arm playfully.
"Stop." She scolded, laughing. "You'd never walk out on people like this."
He sighed. "I am too good." He agreed mournfully.
She laughing again, stepping away from the table to reach for her book bag. Now that monitors were set, she might as well work on some homework.
He ankle had other plans, however.
"Ahhh!" She cried, pitching forward a little before catching herself on the table. It was just a little sore, but it had caught her unaware.
"Mai!" Bou-san cried, hurrying over to her. "What happened?"
"Mountains are bad…" she gritted out through a pained smile.
Damn, it had mostly healed, too.
Bou-San still hovered over her in concern.
"I just turned it a little on the stairs." She said, waving him off. She grabbed her bag, rummaging through the side pocket for the wrap bandage she stashed there.
"What's going on?" Naru said from the doorway, a glowering Lin behind him.
"Nothing on the monitors." Mai replied as she took off her sock and shoe. She'd gotten good at wrapping her own ankle in a way that still let her wear her shoes.
"That's good to hear, but not exactly what I meant." Naru said, walking over to kneel in front of her.
Memories of earlier washed over her, and she stiffened, leaning back from him. "I just caught it on the step. It's not bad."
He paused in his perusal when she leaned away, glancing up to search her face. Looking anywhere but at him, she tried to wave him off but he took the wrap out of her hands.
Gently he took her foot in his hands, rotating it just a little. She gritted her teeth, more out of frustration than pain.
"See. It's fine." She tried grabbing the bandage away from him, but he placed it calmly in his pocket. She threw up her hands.
"Naru..."
"I need better light." He announced calmly. He stood fluidly, tossing an inscrutable look at Lin.
Then he picked her up, walking past a stunned John and Masako out the door.
What the actual hell is happening?
She found herself clutching Naru's shoulders for support.
He carried her easily, not surprising, despite his slim build he often carried equipment that weighed upwards of eighty or even a hundred pounds.
"Naru, put me down!" She finally managed to work the strangled words past her stunned mouth. He was going to carry her out of the Church!
Did he not watch TV ever? Did he really not know how this could be misconstrued? Were they in some whacked out k-drama now?
"Not yet." He replied simply, and she considered smacking him on top of his head.
This was kidnapping!
She'd been spending to much time with Ayako...
Finally, they reached the van. The back doors were still open from where the boys had been unloading, and he set her down on the edge.
"What the hell, Naru!" She shouted, arms waving in her panic. She could see the others standing, mouths agape in the cathedral doorway.
"I didn't intend to yell at you." He said, turning to stare up at the Church.
"Naru, this is not like carrying me down the mountain? That's a church! Do you not know how that looked to everyone- wait. What? Listen buddy, if this is your idea of an apology-"
"No, Mai." He said, turning to look at her. "I mean, those were not the actual words I was intending to say. It was like something suddenly influenced me."
She gaped at him. She probably looked like Chiaki right now, mouth wide open.
But seriously? That was what he was going with?
"The ghost made you do it?" She said flatly. Hitting him was becoming more appealing by the moment.
Worst apology ever.
"Mai!" His voice had sharpened, but it was still nothing like earlier. "If your daydreaming was enough to enrage me, we would have discovered that fact years ago."
"Jerk!" She hissed, unable to stop herself.
"Mai." He was using his look-how-patient-I-am voice again, dammit.
She forced herself to swallow her retort, trying to think calmly.
"O-Kay. But-what are you doing now?" She said as he knelt down.
"Wrapping your ankle." He said, his voice stating that it was really quite obvious.
And now he was down on one knee in front of her, in front of a church and she was so done right now.
"You know, it could just be you having a bad day. Not even you are perfect, Naru."
Wait.
How did her trying to play devil's advocate to his theory end up sounding like tacit forgiveness?
"Lin told me he snapped at you at base, also. He seemed...unnerved." Naru said, checking over the bandage before handing her other shoe to her.
Where had he even put her shoe-
Wait.
"Lin was unnerved?" She asked, looking up at the Church also.
"Both Lin and I have are hard to get strong emotional reactions from." Naru said, and she snorted.
"Ya think." She paused in thought. Shaking her head, she rubbed the bridge of her nose. She could just feel a headache waiting, and it's name was narcissist. "And this required you carrying me out of the building, why?"
"I was unsure whether the ghost was targeting you or you just happened to trigger it the first few times. If I'd said anything around the others, they wouldn't be able to respond naturally." He said, as if it were nothing.
She just stared at him, nonplussed.
Was carrying girls randomly a thing in England? Did he genuinely not get how that looked to everyone inside? Weren't the English famously reserved or something? Not to mention her heart was still thundering a million miles a moment because Naru-the-Freaking-Narcissist, who she once confessed to (and was rejected so hard he hadn't even technically said the words) had just carried her bridal style out of a church-
Breathe.
Focus.
Just do the job.
Her panic proved one thing, however. Naru was pretty unflappable. She was freaking out and he didn't even think it was uncomfortable. So could a ghost really impart random emotions into him without his even knowing? The time she had been possessed, she had understood what was going on. She just hadn't been able to stop it.
So how could a ghost take both Naru and Lin completely unaware?
"But I don't think the ghost planted emotions in you guys." Mai said, trying to explain the vague feeling she had. It was one of her 'hunches'...
"You and Lin ARE hard to get a rise out of." She acknowledged. "I don't think the spirit could manipulate either of you two that easily."
Naru looked down in thought. "Perhaps it momentarily amplified our own emotions."
"Huh?" She asked, trying to follow his train of thought.
"Those were clearly not our natural emotions. But perhaps they started that way. As simple frustration which the ghost amplified." He mused.
"It can do that?" Because that would be awesome considering just how dysfunctional everyone apparently was at the moment.
Even she had felt unlike herself, however.
Or, more precisely, too much like herself. She'd been forcing down tears since yesterday. Her breakdown in the stairwell was just one example.
She'd stopped crying so easily years ago.
But when Naru had yelled at her, she hadn't even fought back, which wasn't her normal response...
"It's still just conjecture at this point. The thermometer wasn't set yet in the room where we were, so we don't know if there was a temperature drop or not." He said.
"Uh...Mai?" Masako, Bou-san and John were trailing out of the Church now, looking both concerned and bemused by turns.
She was blushing so hard her face actually hurt. Yasu was NEVER going to let her live this down once someone told him.
"Masako." Naru was oblivious to their curious looks, however. "What are your findings."
Masako shot Mai a quick, uncertain look before responding.
"There are several male spirits around. Perhaps the ghosts of the men who jumped, I cannot be certain. The overall aura of this place, however, is that of extreme sadness." She stated.
"Sadness?" Naru questioned sharply. "Not anger?"
She shook her head. "Sorrow. Despair, even. But I do not detect any anger." She answered, looking at him quizzically.
"That's how I feel, too." Mai agreed. "It's enough to make me want to cry, but I don't feel angry."
"Were you already sad?" Naru asked, suddenly turning to Mai.
She gaped at him.
"Uh...um.." None of your business...
"Was it simply amplifying an emotion you already felt." He clarified in exasperation.
"No." She shook her head adamantly. "Just walking into this place, it's like the colors bleach out of everything."
"Like you're depressed?" John asked, cocking his head.
She thought for a moment. "Well, Yeah. Maybe. It's not unlike how I felt after my Mom died. Not the shock of it, the part that comes after. When you're numb."
John and Bou-san both looked at the Church thoughtfully.
"I haven't felt anything." John finally shrugged, looking over at Bou-San. He looked deep in thought, however. She made a mental to try and talk to him later.
Bou-san looked tellingly at Mai before saying "I feel tired and frustrated and sad, but I think it's just to a natural degree. A man died yesterday, after all."
Naru sighed, running his hands through his hair in frustration. It was strange to see his normally perfect hair mussed.
"All the cameras are set. Let's meet back at the motel to rendezvous with Yasu, then come back to do some night investigating."