Yo guys Geo here and Welcome back to Loud House'23! so I know a few of you didn't take to episode 2 granted i do like how some of you did enjoy it but for those of you who didn't just know episode 3 is going to be better also i've been watching a lot of Hazbin Hotel and it's making my gers turn for One Helluva Loud House! but anyways a few of you have been asking me why isn't Professor Pester alot more dangerous if he's meant to be the main Villain and it's because he's meant to Homage AOSTH Robotnik in terms of how goofy he is (given Pester's own origins from the series he comes from this shouldn't be a shock) but rest assured as Season 1 continues Pester will slowly start to shift from AOSTH Robotnik to Archie Eggman levels of dangerous in fact you'll get a small glimsp of that here in this chapter so without any mre delay here is Episode 3: Cut of Your Dib
"I can't believe what happened at the mall." Lori sighed as she just laid on her bed and was worried about Leni, turning to face her now empty bed on the other side of the room as it's been 3 days since that horrible incident.
Lincoln and Lynn were inside Lincoln's room discussing their next move.
"Okay so…we don't know why Pester burned the mall down, but it almost cost Leni her life!" Lincoln said, tightly clenching his fist as Lynn shuddered and unconsciously squeezed her own leg.
"I know you're angry, Linc, but before we can even do something about that loser we need a gameplan." Lynn told him, regaining a bit of her composure as she put a hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed it.
"...yeah….I know but….I just wish it didn't have to go THIS far…" He spoke solemnly. "Hey, don't worry. Leni's gonna be alright. She'll be out of the hospital in a few weeks, so right now we need to focus on him while she rests." She told him reassuringly
*knock knock*
"Lincoln?...Lynn? Dad said dinner's ready." Luna said in a somewhat bitter tone, still upset that she was grounded.
"Whatever, we'll be down soon." Lynn said, not giving Lincoln a chance to answer as she held a finger up to his mouth as Luna walked off making Lincoln roll his eyes.
"Seriously? She still blames me for what happened?" He grumbled. "Don't be too miffed with her. Some people just can't handle rejection."
"What do you mean?" He asked as Lynn gave a chuckle.
"…Oh, you don't know?" Lynn asked, prompting Lincoln to give her a confused look. "You know how Luna has that huge crush on that blonde chick at her school?"
"Sam? Yeah, I think I've had gym with her brother."
"Luna went to confess to her, while she was on the phone with her boyfriend." Lynn told him, making him wince.
"Ooooooh. Yeah, that's gotta hurt. Are you sure it was actually a boyfriend? Cause you girls tend to always jump to conclusions." He asked
"Luna said she straight up called him her boyfriend." Lynn responded as she and Lincoln left the room. "Just try and….not let them bother you, bro." Lynn said. "And if they do, just let me know." She added on, rolling up her sleeve and waving her fist. "hehe…Thanks Lynn." He said as they made their way downstairs.
*Dining room*
Dinner was…for lack of a better word, awkward, what with the missing family member and the…tension in the air.
Lincoln was picking at his food using his fork as Lori and Luna just both glared at him in annoyance, Luan was feeding Lily, the twins were quiet and tried to eat their food but found it hard to do so and Lucy was just staring at her plate, uninterested in the meal before her.
"…"
"…So-"
"Dad, it's better we just stay quiet right now or else someone will say something they can't take back." Lori said, bitterly stabbing her food with her fork and bringing it to her mouth.
"Take back, huh? Yeah, like all the time we're going to miss, all because of Snowball over there." Luna grumbled, as Lincoln took Lynn's advice and ignored her, choosing to focus on his food rather than her attempts to get a rise out of him.
"Luna drop it!" Lori scolded as Luna rolled her eyes. "What? It's true! Because of him, you're not gonna get to see your precious 'BooBoo Bear' for a good month!"
"I can see him at school!" Lori retorted back.
"Yeah, for the 45 minutes of the one class you both share." Luna shot back sarcastically.
Lincoln stopped eating and began to tighten the grip on his fork. "Seriously Lori, I don't get how you're not pissed off at that little snot!" She exclaimed angrily as Lynn reached under the table and held her brother's arm. 'Come on, bro. Tough it out.' Lynn thought.
"Lunella Janet Loud! Your sister said to drop it!" Rita said as Luna crossed her arms.
"No way! That little bastard and his crazy ramblings have made all our lives miserable! If it wasn't for him going crazy and attacking that guy, we wouldn't have skipped school and Leni wouldn't even be in the hospital!" Luna exclaimed. Lincoln grinded his teeth as Lucy then spoke up while Luan was berating Luna.
"...Honestly?...I don't blame Lincoln for what happened to Leni…but his delusions have made our lives worse. The twins and I are being bullied in school and Lori and the others have taken to just ditching school all together. Plus, Mother, you can't tell Luna to drop it when I'm sure the other adults in the neighborhood have given you and father flack for what Lincoln did." She said as Rita tried to say something, but realized neither she nor her husband actually could.
'Luce, what the fuck are you doing?!' Lynn thought in disbelief from her roommates AWFUL timing to voice out her thoughts as she noticed the veins in Lincoln's forehead were starting to bulge out, a sight that, for once, made Lynn TERRIFIED of her brother. 'That summer he spent at pop-pop's really helped him out.' Lynn thought as Lucy kept speaking, prompting her to increase her grip on his arm to keep him down.
"Seriously, Lincoln….I've been thrown in the trash more times than I can count, shoved in lockers, locked outside of the school and beaten up mercilessly, and for what, because My only brother is losing his mind?...It's like you don't even care about us anymore."
Suddenly the house shook alongside a rather loud sound as everyone turned to see Lincoln had punched a hole clean through the wall and shattered one of the wooden beams inside.
Everyone was silent as Lincoln stood up. "...I'm going to bed." He grumbled as Luna rolled her eyes, unimpressed by what he did. "Oh boo-hoo, so the runt threw a temper tantrum!" She said as Lincoln growled and was about to stomp over to her until Lynn grabbed his wrist as tightly as she could.
"Nonononononono! Go calm down bro, it'll be fine." She said until Luna opened her mouth again…much to everyone's horror.
"If you ask me, the only fine thing would've been Mom swallowing the little bastard!" She grumbled as the family all gasped and looked horrified by her words. Even Lily had her mouth open, flabbergasted by the insult.
"LUNA!" Rita exclaimed, beyond pissed off she even dared to say that.
Lincoln gave Lynn an angry and enraged Look as Lynn looked down at his wrist and shrugged. "You know what, go loose, bro." She spoke, moving her hands up and backing away as he stepped on his chair and lunged over the table at Luna, tackling her with his fists first striking her face, the resulting assault causing the table to flip over and getting food everywhere as Luan picked up Lily and handed her off to Lisa. "Take Lily upstairs." She told her as Luan pulled out her phone to film the fight before her.
"I'd shout 'WorldStar' but our reading audience wouldn't get the reference, so Imma just put this on TikTok!" Luan chuckled as she recorded the bloody, one-sided fight, not feeling so much as a speck of sympathy for her sister.
*45 mins of one cathartic, bloody ass beating later*
Lincoln was walking upstairs, both of his hand covered in blood and his face only sporting a blackeye, bloody nose, scratched face and a heavily chipped tooth (and yes for those of you wondering Lincoln never had his iconic chipped tooth until now), as he just breathed heavily and went to the bathroom to grab bandages for his hands as The camera went back downstairs to Luna who was being patched up by Lori and their Mother.
"I'd say he should be grounded for life for that, but you literally deserved that." Lori said, applying a bandage wrap around Luna's left eye and 'accidentally' making it just a little too tight all while Rita was tying Luna's right arm in a makeshift sling.
"Honestly, we're not sure if we should ground HER for that comment after what just happened." Lynn Sr. said, coming in with another bag of medical supplies before stepping up to Luna and resetting her nose.
"Little bastard just got lucky, that's all!" Luna grumbled, spitting out a few teeth before rubbing her somewhat broken jaw.
"Luna, you just spent almost an hour on the kitchen floor with your 12 year old brother beating your face in, and not once were you able to get up. He only stopped after he realized you were unconscious for those last 5 minutes! YOU'RE the one who got lucky!" Her father told her, dumbfounded by her stubbornness and refusal to admit fault.
"Okay now look I understand this whole situation with Leni and Lincoln's…..odd mental state has gotten us all on edge. So for now Lori, I want you to help your father and I clean up while Luan, you get your sisters to bed." Rita spoke.
"Alright, mom."
"Fine. But Luna's not sleeping in our room until she gets her act together." Luan said nonchalantly. "What?! Where am I supposed to sleep?!"
"Sleep on the couch, make room in the attic or basement, move in that tree house out. back for all I care but you're not coming back in the room until you apologize to Lincoln for that disgusting thing you said." Luan spoke, crossing her arms. "And people say I'm the crazy sister."
"...I'll apologize when turtles start talking! Or when pigs fly!" She grumbled as Lori 'accidentally' rebroke her nose while reaching up for another roll of bandages.
*Lincoln*
Lincoln was still in the bathroom wrapping up his cut up hands when Lucy poked her head inside. "...Lincoln…are you done?" She asked, but Lincoln simply ignored her and didn't say a single word as he took the bandages with him and walked out, making her stumble as he walked past her with his shoulder hitting her.
"...Lincoln, wait…..don't you think you're….you know…overreacting to this whole 'mad scientist' thing?" Lucy asked as she walked up to his room but found the door being slammed in her face, just barely not hitting her nose.
"...Sigh…my brother's insane." She sighed as she went to her room, only to see Lynn blocking the door. "Where do you think you're going, spooky?" She asked, crossing her arms and keeping her voice low. "You really think I'm gonna let you in here after the shit you pulled down there?"
"...Lynn, be honest with me…you don't really believe in what Lincoln said, do you?" She asked as Lynn rolled her eyes. "I'd be a terrible sister if I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt, after all. Or even so much as a chance to prove himself." Lynn spoke.
"..But it's just so weird, remember when we had those new neighbors and Lincoln went to spy on them? He kept invading their privacy and that freaked them out. He does this with every new neighbor we get, Lynn!"
"And we don't do just as bad stuff? Or do you not remember Sadie Hawkins? Or that YouTube video crap? Or when we were all simping over Lincoln's tutor? Or god forbid that retarded 'Protocol' Lisa thought up that excluded Lincoln and ONLY Lincoln?" Lynn said, listing off more and more incidents that made Lucy want to disappear from the constant negativity her sister was forcing upon her.
"Lynn….I-" She tried to say only for Lynn to hold up her hand.
"Let's not forget…the time he….'covered' for you?" She spoke as Lucy froze.
"...how….how did yo-"
"Lucy, I'm your sister AND your roomate. You think I wouldn't notice that poster you have 'hidden' behind another poster?" She said, making Lucy go red with embarrassment. "Look, the point is, I'm not mad at your blatant refusal to give the one guy who's always had your back even a chance to prove he isn't crazy. I'm pissed you had the balls to question if he even CARED ABOUT YOU!...What you AND Luna said really hurt him, Luce…even more-so than the 'Incident' and you know me, I had to jump through Hell and high-water for months just to get him to look at me again, let alone speak!" She ranted, not realizing she had started to cry some time ago and was shaking a little as she turned around and walked back in the room.
"...Look Lucy, I've read your diary and if you really care about my brother THAT much, then you should have his back more often." She said with a sniff as she went to move, only for Lucy to grab her wrist and hug her from behind, making the tomboy sniffle and hold the hands wrapping around her.
"...Don't tell him…" She asked, sounding weaker than intended as Lynn turned her body around and hugged back, crying into her sister's hair.
"I won't….I promise." She told her softly.
"I really messed up, didn't I?"
"…Yeah…you kinda did." Lynn chuckled.
"Do you think it's gonna be bad?"
"Considering how he was with me after the 'Incident', it might be just as bad." Lynn admitted with a somber tone as both sisters unknowingly were now on their knees hugging. "But, hey. Look on the bright side."
"I've possibly ruined my relationship with my brother forever, how could there even BE a bright side?"
"You'll have an easier time earning his trust back than Luna."
"…It's scary when you're right."
"Hey!" Lynn said with mock offense before giving Lucy a small noogie. "*Sigh* Come on, let's go to bed." She said, bringing Lucy inside their shared room. "Did you say you were being bullied earlier?"
*The Next day at school, Lincoln and Lynn went to my house for french toast! Ahaha! Just kidding, no they didn't!...I'm very Lonely!*
"Ok, hopefully Tuesday will be better than Monday." Lincoln said to himself as he sat down in class hoping to get the day over with….until.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH EVERYONE COME QUICK! THE ROACHES ARE COMING!" A lpud voice yelled throughout the hallway as Lincoln's teacher rolled her eyes. "Ugh great…Mr. Membrane's back." Miss Teets grumbled, already wishing she had called in sick as a boy wearing a black lab coat jacket, with a dark blue t-shirt and his jet black hair oddly enough fashioned with a scythe shaped cowlick kicked down the door. "EVERYONE OUT! THE ROACHES ARE COMING!" He screamed like a mad-man. "Yeah yeah, now sit down and shut up." Miss Teets told him with an eyeroll
"But Miss Teets! The roaches the-they..." He stammered as she opened a bag of family sized Cool Ranch Doritos, the worst chip flavor alongside Sour Cream & Onion. "Yeah yeah, take your seat, Dib." She spoke, uncaring as Dib gave an annoyed sigh and sat down next to Lincoln.
"Sooooooooo…..what was this about roaches?" Lincoln asked in an uneasy tone from the other boys…'intensity'. "Also…who are you?" He asked as Dub cleaned off his glasses.
"The name's Dib Membrane; son of the legendary scientist Professor Rodger Membrane, nice to meet you!" He smiled, holding out his hand for Lincoln to shake. Said white haired boy thought about it, and ultimately decided to take it, coincidentally while thunder struck outside.
"...Uh Oh…Someone pissed off my sister." Dib said in a worried tone. "Either that or there is an alarming amount of metal close to the surface." He spoke as Lincoln gave a confused look as the door was kicked open again, followed by another strike of lightning as both boys turned their heads to the doorway to see a pale girl with purple hair(that Lincoln noticed kind of looked like an open mouthed snake) wearing blue t-shirt with what looked like some 8-bit game sprite, a black skirt with leggings and VERY heavy looking combat boots as she had her face buried in a PS-Vita.
"You're late, Gaz." Miss Teets spoke as Gaz rolled her eyes. "Yeah so? You don't care."
"You're absolutely right, now take your seat." She ordered while stuffing her throat with more chips.
Gaz ignored her and sat in the desk behind Lincoln and next to Chandler.
Seeing a cute girl next to him made Chandler smirk as he decided to shoot his shot….oh the poor dipshit.
"So, what brings a girl like you i-"
"I'm not into guys with vaginas." She said bluntly before deciding to move one seat ahead to get further away from him, putting her directly to Lincoln's side and leaving Chandler completely flabbergasted, not even noticing the weird chuckling coming from seemingly nowhere.
"Uhhhhhhh…." Lincoln said as Gaz placed her feet on his desk. "Gaz, can you put your feet down? You're bothering this guy." Dib told her. "Does he look bothered?"
"Actually he looks more dumbfounded tha-"
"Then it's not my problem. He got an issue, he can say so himself." She spoke not even looking up from her game as Dib gave an annoyed sigh.
"Sorry about her, Lincoln…This is my sister, Gaz." Dib spoke as Gaz shot up a peace sign. "Sup?"
"Is that short for something?"
"Yes, and the last person who learned what her full first name was still hasn't woken up, so for your own health, please drop it." Dib spoke in a slight panicked tone as the bell rang.
"That's lunch! Everyone out and enjoy." Miss Teets exclaimed.
"But that was for the start of first period."
"Do I look like I care enough to want to care? Get lost and let me eat in peace." She told him before grabbing a tuna sandwich from her desk and taking a huge bite out of it.
*Three Hours later*
Lincoln was sitting at the Lunch table with his friends when Dib walked up with a tray and sat down next to them. "Why's the weird kid coming over here?" Rusty complained. "You came into school yesterday singing a song, how is he weirder than you?" Stella said, not understanding why he had just insulted him.
"Yeah dude and besides…..Dib's my….cousin so go easy on him." Zach spoke uneasily. "You're related? But you look nothing alike." Stella spoke.
"He's a fourth cousin." Zach explained as they noticed Gaz walking in…with a large potato sack…where she got it, even we don't know.
Seeing her made Chandler angry for her rejecting him and so he did the most reasonable and smart thing a boy his age could do…he decided to force her to date him…yeah, this kid has no sense of self preservation whatsoever.
"Hey! Emo chick!" Chandler yelled as Gaz ignored him and made her way to a nearby vending machine.
"Nobody says 'no' to Chandler Mccann! Seriously, I'm the most popular kid in town!"
"A'hem!"
He turned his head to see Kevin and Vana glaring at him.
"Ok THIRD most popular kid in town! And those that say no to me tend to…disappear if you catch my drift so if you know what's good for you and your stupid brother! Then you'll date me!" He demanded as while he was ranting Gaz was putting in coins in the vending machine and getting a bunch of soda cans out and placing them in the potato sack until it could just barely be closed before she stopped and walked over to him. "That's what I-"
*THWACK!*
Gaz then suddenly smacked him with the sack of cans like it was a foam bat, making him lose quite a few teeth as she then smacked all of his friends with the sack and even smacked Kevin with it, giving him a black eye and used the sack to bust Vana in her jaw before she dropped it on Chandler's head. Stopping her assault, she picked his head up by the hair and, rather loudly, spat a huge snot-filled loogie into his open mouth before dropping him back on the table and leaving to sit in between Lincoln and her brother with the sack of cans behind her.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"So, anyone want a soda?" She asked, pulling one out as if she didn't just make the popular kids her bitches.
"So…are we just gonna ignore that?" Clyde asked.
"Ignore what?" Zach said quickly.
"I didn't see anything." Lincoln spoke up.
"All I saw was Chandler beating himself up." Liam responded immediately.
Lincoln and Dib were sitting on a bench as Dib was explaining the issue from this morning.
"...So let me get this straight, you accidentally created a hoard of giant genetically modified roaches, and you accidentally set them loose into the reservoir because you thought the water would drown them?" Lincoln asked, trying to wrap his head around everything he just said.
"Yeah…"
"…You've clearly never seen or heard of Terraformars if you even remotely thought that was a good idea." Lincoln said with a deadpan expression as Dib covered his face.
"Look, I know it sounds crazy and I know we JUST met, but I could use some help with-"
"I'm in." Lincoln said instantly. "What, what?"
"You heard me, I said I was in!...Wait, why can't Zach help you?"
"He's allergic to roaches so he's no help at all…but why DO you want to help me? I mean, whenever weird stuff like this happens nobody believes me, not even Zach." Dib explained.
"Firstly, because I know what it's like to have nobody believe me, so I'm more than willing to help someone going through the same issue. Secondly, how the heck is someone allergic to cockroaches?! You sure he's not just afraid of them?"
"I'm…85% sure!" Lincoln then raised his eyebrow at that. "…50…I'm…50 percent sure…he was honest about a…roach allergy."
"…Anyway…so where do you think the cockroaches are now if they left the reservoir?"
"Hmmmm well according to my seismographs, it detected unusual movements underneath the town and the central location is near the old bowtie pasta factory" Dib spoke, pulling out his tablet and showing Lincoln what data and information he had collected so far. "This is…disturbingly thorough."
"I'm just gonna take that as a compliment." Dib said as he placed it back in his backpack. "Look, all we need to do is meet up near here at around 9pm tonight! I'll pack some anti-insect weaponry my dad made! Amazing blasters filled with a special spray that can take down any insect in a 20 mile radius! He made them to help farmers deal with pests! But then he got sued cause they ended up making the ground infertile so he shelved them…but we can use them on the roaches!"
"And what if they've gone all Terraformars roaches on us by the time we find them?"
"Ok I'm good at genetic experiments, but not THAT good." Dib explained as he pulled out a watch and placed it in Lincoln's hand.
"Here, it's a comm watch we can use to communicate with each other. "Also, I forgot to ask this morning, why are your hands covered in bandages?"
"Oh, uh…let's just say I'm having some family problems…" Lincoln said uneasily as the bell rang.
"That's the last bell! Alright Lincoln, remember the plan?"
"Yeah we meet up at nine tonight don't worry, I'll be there! Even if it's a little late, I'll be there." He said, determined to see this through.
"Great!" Dib said as he quickly ran off just as Clyde and the others walked into the courtyard. "Uhhh Lincoln my dads say they can give you a lift home, but…are you sure this is a good idea?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, don't you know why he and his sister weren't in school last year?" Liam asked.
"Uhhhhh should I?" He asked as Stella looked at them, just as out of the loop as Lincoln.
Zach then took a deep breath. "Yeah, my cousin accidentally killed about a few thousand people in his hometown." He spoke bluntly.
"WAIT WHAT!?" Both Lincoln and Stella exclaimed. "How do you ACCIDENTALLY kill more than ONE person, let alone more than a thousand?!" Lincoln yelled in shock.
"He said something about a milkshake ghost and a baby bigfoot sighting was the reason why…yeah I uhhh I don't know either, but it was so bad it forced Uncle Rodger to move him and Gaz here until the heat died down back home." Zach explained.
"...whoa that's…that is a LOT to take in." Lincoln said with very wide eyes.
"Look Lincoln, the point is we want you to be careful about all this. It's bad enough the town thinks you're crazier than a rattlesnake in a pickle barrel. We don't want everything to get worse for ya!" Liam said as Lincoln sighed.
"I appreciate it guys, even though you don't believe me about Pester, I'm just glad you all still have my back." He said before looking up…to see Rusty had already left and was already selling more of his 'Crazy Boy' merch.
"...well most of you, at least…" He deadpanned as he and Clyde walked back into the school and made their way to the McBride car but had Lincoln been paying attention he would've noticed a certain someone listening in on the whole conversation and smirking in the process.
*Later*
Lincoln was currently in his room, waiting for everyone to go to sleep while he thought of how to sneak out without being found out. 'At least mom drew the line at Lisa wanting to put tracking chips in us.' He thought, shuddering at the thought of his 5 year old sister knowing his every move.
*Knock Knock*
"Lincoln, can I come in?" He heard Lynn ask.. "Huh? Uh, sure." He said loud enough for her to hear as she walked inside and closed the door and crossed her arms. "Alright bro spill it…you've been awfully quiet ever since we came home from school." She said.
"…I'm just trying to steer clear of everyone after…last night." He said, which was actually partially the truth.
"Lincoln…" She said sternly, making him sigh. "Okay fine look I met this kid today and he may or may not have doomed everyone with a stupid stunt he pulled and he needs my help to fix it and for that I need to sneak out without any of the others following me. Cause after all that's happened, they're more than likely just gonna blame everything that'll possibly happen on me just cause they're pissed!" He said sitting on his bed as Lynn raised an eyebrow.
"...what time do you need to be there?" She asked.
"Nine, why?" He spoke as she pulled out her phone and saw it was almost 8:20. "...Go on, get out of here. I'll cover you."
"What? Why?"
"You'd do the same for me." She chuckled. "Go on, Linc. It's cool, and if anyone finds out about this, I'll take the fall. And if Luna tries to make a fuss, I'll give her another black eye for you." She said proudly as Lincoln smiled and hugged her.
"Thanks Lynn!" He smiled as he reached under his bed and pulled out the rope he had stashed away from the shed, tossed it out the window and climbed down it.
"I'll be back in a while." He told her as she closed his door.
"He should be here by now." Dib said while impatiently tapping his foot.
"Dib!" Lincoln exclaimed as he ran up to him. "Sorry I was almost late." He said tiredly while bending over and breathing heavily. "I had to cut through a few alleyways." He chuckled while rubbing the sole of his shoe in a patch of grass as Dib pulled out his tablet.
"It's fine now, look here! I managed to detect a weird amount of energy readings coming from the factory basement oh man I hope those roaches aren't mutating!" He said morbidly while envisioning the horrors they could unleash upon the world. "Here, I brought a few things to help take care of these oversized pests." Dib spoke, pulling out two large super soaker like guns out of a duffel bag. "These should help get rid of them!"
"Hey, Dib, what's this weird gauntlet thing?"
"That's just one of my dads spare arms." he said a little too casually.
"I'm sorry, spare what?"
"ANYWAY. We need to take care of those roaches as soon as possible!" He said with urgency as Dib noticed a vehicle coming forward and tackled Lincoln into the alleyway.
"Hey! Wha-"
"Shhh!...Look!" Dib said, pointing to the car as a group of numerous people in trench coats came out and made their way inside the factory.
"Who were they?"
"I don't know, they could be anyone. Cultists, feds, serial killers, hackers, drug dealers. All that matters right now is making sure no roach survives." Dib said as he and Lincoln made their way into the door.
*Deep in the factory*
We move onto a vent opening where the two boys fell out of after crawling through for a good half hour. "Dib, get your butt off my head!" Lincoln grunted, pushing him off.
"Okay, so where do you think the Roaches could be?" he asked as Dib dusted himself off. "Most likely on the factory floor eating the moldy pasta left behind after it was shut down." He said as they made their way through the factory as they could hear some distant chattering and bangs.
"Get that gun ready!" Dib whispered as Lincoln nodded. The boy stepped forward and felt his foot land in….something crunchy and wet. "…Please don't be homeless poop." He begged quietly as he shined his flashlight down and saw it was a giant dead roach the size of a large dog.
"…Now I wish it HAD been homeless poop. Also, Jesus Christ on a Cross. Dib, what the heck did you put in these things, steroids?!" He exclaimed as Dib covered his mouth.
"Shhhhh!...and yes I…I did, but that's besides the point! One might be dead, but the others might still be alive!" He told him as he helped Lincoln pull his foot out of the carcass and they continued forward and could hear the sounds of voices, with one particular voice sticking out to Lincoln.
'...No way, it can't be!' He thought as he followed the sounds and hid behind a large crate and gave a shocked gasp as he saw it was Professor Pester, conversing with the trench coated people from up top on a metal walkway with no 'elaborate' disguise on.
As the two boys got closer, Lincoln realized 'people' in question were green skinned creatures wearing blue robes, and he saw their heads were floating over their mouth and that they had two eyes, one in the center of their face and the other was on a stalk.
"Ahh, my wonderful floaty headed friends! So nice of you to join me here!" Pester smiled down at them from his spot on the walkway as the Ruffians approached him from the right(his left).
"Human known as 'Pester'! We have delivered the object you have requested!" the Leader said as he snapped his….tentacle and his allies pulled out a box with a small pink glowing orb on a cushion as Pester gave a villainous smile at the sight of it.
While this was going on Dib approached Lincoln and gave a soft gasp. "What the hell?...What are those guys?" He whispered as Lincoln fornwed. "The guy in red is Professor Pester! Ever since he showed up with that damn Willy Wonka ripoff, people have been thinking I'm crazy, as for the creatures that are most likely aliens?...I'm not sure but, Pester called them 'Floaty Headed friends'." He explained quietly as the camera went back to Pester.
"Ahhh, Glarqtonium! Excellent! Now we can continue on Project T.U.F.F! Tell Doctor Jookiba he has my regards!" He said, sounding to Lincoln like his words actually had some genuine respect in them. 'Is that someone he actually trusts?' He thought as Dib brought out his phone and began to record them.
"We have provided you with the object now you shall give us what WE desire; the sip that makes one flip!" The leader boomed in an over dramatic fashion. "That what?" Both boys whispered in confusion while looking at each other.
"Oh yes, of course, how could I forget?" Pester spoke as he snapped his fingers and the ruffians brought out a dust covered crate with biohazard stickers that contained packs of 'Smile Dip'.
"What the heck?"
"Wasn't that stuff discontinued cause it had 50 times the legal amount of sugar and was 25% cocaine?" Dib asked as Lincoln gave a shrug.
"Yes! The dip that makes one flip! It is finally ours!" the leader exclaimed with an evil laugh as Dib dropped his phone, causing it to clatter on the concrete floor.
"Uh oh!" Lincoln said as the aliens and Pester all saw them.
"...YOU!" Pester growled as his eyes focused on Lincoln. "How did you even find out about this meeting?!"
"…I actually didn't, I was honestly just here to kill the roaches." Lincoln spoke like it was obvious.
"Oh…well no need, we took care of that for you…but, since you're here anyway…DESTROY THE BOY AND I'LL CALL THIS DEAL SEALED!" Pester yelled as the aliens seemed to agree with this new term, not thinking it would be that difficult as they whipped out very sci-fi looking blasters and they blasted at Lincoln.
"Look out!" Dib shouted as he pushed Lincoln, aimed his anti-roach his roach gun and shot the liquid at the Floaty Heads…who were completely unaffected by it…almost. "This strange liquid smells quite badly…like gasoline…and fecal matter." The leader spoke in disgust as Lincoln shot a look at Dib. "Ok, I did NOT fill these with gas and poop." He said, genuinely offended by the silent accusation as he was brought out of his thoughts.
"DIIIIIIB!" Lincoln shouted as he jumped out the way of Pester trying to smash him…by dropping a sledge hammer on his head, which crushed the ground where he was once standing.
"You are getting on my nerves Boy! I'm sick of you ruining my wonderfully awful plans!" Pester growled as he raised the hammer to smash him only for Lincoln to slid under his legs and deliver a nasty punch to his groin.
"AAAAAHH! Not the 49!" Pester whined while holding his junk as Lincoln hopped off the ground and delivered a punch to Pester's face sending him tumbling into the crates. "Ruffians attack!" He growled angrily before picking one up by the head and throwing it at Lincoln teeth first.
Lincoln however ducked and dodged the thrown minions, unaware that they were being thrown into a pile of rope behind him. "Ha! You missed!"
"Hmmmmm did I?" Pester said like a smug smartass with his arms crossed and a smug ass grin on his face.
"Huh?...WHOA!" Lincoln as he found himself tackled and tied up by the Ruffians who then proceeded to knock him out as Dib stopped his battle with the floaty heads. "Lincoln!" He exclaimed as he was zapped by the aliens and tripped over his own foot, falling down a staircase leading to a break room in the lower levels. "Ugh…good thing this duffel bag broke my fall…at least this can't get any worse than dying." He groaned just as his phone started ringing. Weakly, he pulled it out of his pocket and saw that his sister was calling him. "…Never mind, there are worse things than death." He whimpered as he contemplated picking up to get chewed out by his sister or letting the aliens kill him.
*Later*
"Ugh…what happened?" Lincoln groaned as he slowly opened his eyes and saw he was now upside down hanging from the ceiling of the room they were in by a chain. "Pester, I don't know what you're planning on doing with that ball, but I won't let you do it! And what did you do with my friend?!"
"Oh your friend?...he's right next to you!" Pester chuckled as Lincoln quickly realized that Dib was tied to his back and that his head was causing a large amount of strain on the chain. "In a matter of minutes, your friends oversized head will cause the chain to break from the hook holding it, causing you to plummet at a dangerous speed, causing you to fall to the floor and break your necks! And there's no one who can save you, and once you are finally gone, I shall hunt down that ghost boy and when he falls, VICTORY WILL BE MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HACK!" He laughed maniacally before choking violently on his own spit.
"Ghost boy?" Dib asked while glancing over at Lincoln who just shrugged. "Well, I never expected to die like this?"
"Me either. How did you see yourself going out, Lincoln?" Dib asked.
"Either the hands of my little sisters crazy experiments honestly or one of my other sisters snapping and deciding to kill me and the rest of our family." He sighed as the sound of straining metal filled their ears, along with what sounded like stone slowly breaking as the floor seemed to zoom out as they looked at the drop. "How about you?"
"I honestly expected my sister to rip my organs out and get my corpse stuffed to use as a TV mount." Dib spoke as Pester gave them a disturbed look.
"…You two have issues."
"WE KNOW." They both said irritably at the evil scientist when the chain started to vibrate. "Well, it looks like this is the end. I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess." Dib sighed. "Honestly I can't believe I'm going to die without having made a single friend ever in my life."
"In your LIFE?"
"Kind of hard with ADHD and a sister that genuinely hates everything and everyone." Dib sighed.
"…Well…aren't I your friend? Even Pester said you were my friend." Lincoln smiled.
"...Huh. Ya know, I never thought of that honestly." He said as Lincoln rolled his eyes.
"Gee, thanks for thinking so highly of me." Lincoln jokingly said in a sarcastic tone.
"Ugh you two are disgusting, that chain can't break fast enough!" Pester grumbled as he rolled his eyes. "Maybe it needs a bit of assistance." He said while rummaging through Dib's duffel bag. "Let's see here. Piss filled super soakers. Cyborg prosthetic arm. Miniature megaphone…kid, why do you have this?" Pester said while pulling out an M1911 with a full clip.
Before Dib could even answer, the chain broke from the roof as both of them were sent plummeting as Pester eagerly watched the two falling to their doom.
"I wish I didn't have such a big head!"
"Pester, if I survive this, you better pray I don't take that gun from you!" Both boys screamed as they closed their eyes, waiting for their painful death…which never came.
"...Are we dead?" Dib asked as he opened his eyes and saw what was quite literally a black and yellow 3 foot robot with a very large yellow crest on its head with two very small blue eyes.
"...Uhhhhhhh, Lincoln?" Dib said as the robot gently lowered them on the ground as Pester growled. "What the!?...OH THAT DOES IT!" Pester roared, aiming the pistol and firing it at the robots head, making it ricochet off and end up grazing Pesters arm and embedding in a brick wall.
The robot turned it's head as if it was cracking its neck as it sped forward towards Pester and grabbed him and threw him towards a large piece of machinery, causing it to tip over and start sparking, a few of which landed on some puddles of the liquid that was in Dib's anti-roach weapons, resulting in an explosion which got the attention of everyone in town.
The entire police force and fire department was soon swarming around the factory as it was now up in flames. As the firefighters pushed the flames back, some of the police saw what looked like a small rocket shooting away from the factory too fast for them to see where it went. In reality, it was the robot, carrying the two boys who were still wrapped up in the chain.
However, Pester also managed to escape the explosion via an underground passage that led into the sewer pipes, where he hopped in an ATV and started driving with the Ruffians running after and trying to jump in with him.
'That stupid kid!...what did that big head say his name was?...Lincoln! Well then, Lincoln Loud! I swear on my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great Grandmummzy's grave I shall have my revenge!' He thought with rage. 'And where did that robot come from?! Just another target for me to take out.' Pester thought as he drove off in a rush.
*Lincoln*
"My stomach feels like it went through a blender." Lincoln groaned as the robot set them down behind Flip's and began to undo their chains.
"Ugh….thanks…weird robot thing." Dib said, uneasily as the robot slapped him upside his big head before dumping the duffel bag in front of him and flying off. "Well…that just happened. Sorry for getting you wrapped up in all that."
"It's fine, Dib, honestly. Stopping…whatever it is that Pester had planned with those aliens was worth the craziness and hey, at least now I finally have proof to the town that I'm not crazy!"
"You do?" Dib asked him.
"Yeah…you filmed the whole thing." Lincoln told him.
"That's right! It nearly slipped my….." Dib said as he reached into his pocket and pulled it out, only for his grin to fall. "...Uh oh…oh no! Where is it! I know I was recording!"
"Don't tell me those things deleted it!"
"I think it might've stopped recording altogether when I dropped it!"
"Damn it, Dib!" Lincoln said, facepalming.
"Sorry Lincoln."
"No…it's not your fault, Dib…well at least we stopped Pester. I hope. Let's just head back to our homes, it's almost midnight." he said as the two high fived and went their separate ways.
Lincoln climbed up the rope that led to his room and slowly snuck in….just as Lori turned the lights on, making him stumble and fall inside. "And just where have you been, mister?"
Now normally, Lincoln would be very nervous and uncomfortable lying to one of his sisters about something this big, however, Lincoln was currently very, VERY tired, so lying was NOT that big of a concern at the moment. "I went to hang out with a new friend."
"And you literally climbed through your window?"
"Gee, it's almost like I nearly beat someone into a coma last night after they said I shouldn't have been born." He said, sounding a lot more venomous than intended as Lori winced, remembering Luna's words from the previous night.
"...Lincoln, that doesn't matter, you still snuck out! Plus we were freaking out when that explosion went off!"
"I saw that, too. Let me guess, someone wants to blame that on me, too?" He said sarcastically.
"Lincoln, I'm being serious right now." She tried to tell him as he sighed.
"Look Lori, I'm tired and crabby, please just leave." He said with half-open eyes.
"Yeah well…fine." She sighed as she turned to leave his room. "And for the record, nobody blamed you for the explosion….at least I hope not." She said, muttering the last bit to herself.
Lori closed her door and was about to go off to her room until she saw Lisa standing in front of her. "...Lori I would like a word with you and Lynn." She said with a serious expression and tone. "Can't it wait until tomorrow afternoon?"
"No, now get moving."
Lori and Lynn were now gathered in Lisa's room looking at her computer.
"So what's the deal, brainiac?" Lynn asked with a yawn as Lisa sighed while cleaning her glasses. "Sisters…I believe we owe Lincoln a massive apology."
"What are you talking about?" Lori asked as Lisa began to type away at her computer and showed off footage of what had happened inside the factory and much to Lori's shock it was Lincoln and some fat headed kid fighting off weird looking aliens and Reg Upchukk wearing some weird getup.
"Lisa, what the heck is this?"
"…Proof that our brother's 'delusions' have more truth to them than we believed."
"See! Lincoln told you guys and nobody believed him!" Lynn said, crossing her arms, shocking Lori. "wait..Lynn you believed him?"
"I mean, at the very least, I gave him the chance to prove he was telling the truth instead of, oh I don't know, immediately dismissing him as insane." She spoke as Lori and Lisa both gave guilty looks.
"Anyway, Lisa, how did you get this anyway?" The Jock asked.
"Honestly, I'm unsure of where it came from. I just simply got an email from an anonymous source." She explained with a shrug. "Well, why don't we just show this to everyone around town?"
"Lori, be logical. With what happened when all this started, what makes you think people won't just accuse Lincoln of using CGI and AI to fake the recording? It's also because of that reason why we can't show the others they'll think it's fake as well and besides I need MORE evidence in order to properly help him."
Lori wanted to respond but she knew Lisa was right. "...Alright first thing tomorrow Lisa you and I are going to apologize to Lincoln." Lori said as the small genius gave a nod. "Secondly…can you find literally any way to get more proof to help him?"
"...I can try Lori. I can't promise anything, but I will try." She spoke with determination.
*Lincoln*
Lincoln was laying in bed asleep when his phone gave a vibration which woke him up. "Ugh, Clyde I swear to Rubiner if you woke me up again because you had the Brothers Flub dream again!" He grumbled under his breath as he checked his phone and saw it was a text from an unlisted number. "Huh?"
'You owe me one, Snow White.'
-MF
'Who's MF?' He thought, realizing they must have been the one behind the robot that saved them.
'...oh well, that's tomorrow's issue.' Lincoln thought as he put his phone down and fell back in his bed and drifted asleep.
*Rita and Lynn Sr.*
The Loud parents were in bed with Lynn Sr. trying to watch TV and Rita was reading a book.
"...Lynn?...are we bad parents?" Rita asked her husband.
"Well honey…I know we aren't the best but we do indeed try." He sighed.
Rita just gave a sad look. "I'm just concerned Lynn, one of our daughter's is in the hospital, our kids are starting to hate each other and the entire town thinks our only son is crazy."
Lynn Sr. gave a tired sigh as he laid back on his pillow.
"...I know…." He spoke before getting an idea..
"Hey…what do you say to us having a little weekend vacation on Lake Eddy next week? The kids can get out and have some fresh air plus being away from the media might calm everyone down a bit." He suggested as Rita smiled.
"…I think that's a great idea, plus it's been awhile since we've even been to Lake Eddy." Rita said as the two shared a kiss and went to bed.
Looks like the Loud Parents are considering taing the kids to Lake Eddy and trust when I saw that's when the flood gates will OPEN n terms of world building anyways Lincoln FINALLY gets more allies! with Dib Membrane joining his crusade alongside Lori and Lisa! and The floatyheads from The secret Show have made their debut! (and if you've seen the show then chances are you know who else has a high chane of showing up and i don't just mean the heroes) but who was the strange Robot who saved Lincoln and Dib? who is this...Doctor Jookiba that Pester mentioned? (if you know who he is then expect a certain someone to appear in Season 3) What's Pester planning with Project T.U.F.F? and more importanly what's Lisa and Lori going to do to Help Lincoln now that they know the truth? find out next time on Loud House'23!
Next Time: Episode 4: Collision College.
Plot: Lisa takes her family on a tour of the college she works at and it's there they meet a few of her colleagues however two of said colleagues have less then good intentions and it puts the entire Loud family in Danger forcing Lisa to step up!