Disclaimer: It's all Jo Rowling's. I just like to play with her toys every now and then. Cheers!

Chapter Four

The Funny Bunny Confusion

'Mum?' he managed, and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. She stiffened, clearly not expecting this reaction from her usually serious and emotionally distant son, but soon relaxed into the embrace, stroking her son's hair back with her hand. The Evanses looked at each other askance, surprised at the display of affection from the usually withdrawn teenager. Just moments ago he had monosyllabic and sullen, but now his face was alive and happier than they had ever seen it. Mrs Evans raised an eyebrow at her husband, but he merely shrugged in reply, and started glancing around again for a sight of Lily on the platform.

Leaning back, Eileen smiled at Severus, a weary grin that somehow lit up her face and made her look years younger than she usually did.

'Let's go,' she said softly, and he nodded, as her smiled dropped, probably at the thought of returning home.

'Thank you, Mr and Mrs Evans,' he called, turning around realising he had not said goodbye, as his mother lead him out of the barrier and towards the car, which would take them to the sorry place they called home.

They bundled into the old rusted car and Eileen gave him a funny look when he put his seatbelt on. He realised not many people actually considered them compulsory when he was growing up, often forgoing installing them altogether until they were made mandatory. 'They're designed to keep us safe,' he said to his mother, somewhat defensively, but she merely raised an eyebrow at her teenage son. 'Do yours up too,' he implored, keeping his black eyes on hers, but she started the car and looked in the rearview mirror, ready to back out.

'How was Hogwarts?' she asked, and her face was animated. She relished these few quiet moments, he thought, that she could discuss the magical world with her son without her husband to bring down the two's memories.

'Good, mostly.'

'Still passing all your classes?' she asked.

'I think so,' he said, confident in his OWL results having already known most of them, except for perhaps the Transfiguration theory paper. 'I won't know until I get my OWLs,' Severus reminded her.

'Oh, of course. Why mostly good then?' Severus deliberated whether to confide in his mother, who seemed in a good mood. Sometimes when she was away from his father she seemed almost normal. He decided he didn't really have all that much to lose, and perhaps his mother would have a different female perspective on how to get Lily to forgive him.

'I uh, accidentally hurt someone I cared about.'

'Ooh, a heart breaker, eh, Sevvy?' She teased, and laughed when Severus blushed. It had been such a long time that he had been teased like that by anyone that he wasn't quite ready for it.

'It's not like that,' he insisted, his normally pale face still red.

'Lily Evans,' she acknowledged. Severus gaped at his mother, oblivious to the fact that she had been aware of his feelings for the fiery redhead.

'How did you-?'

'You only try to spend every waking minute with the girl you can when you're home.' At that, Severus felt a flash of guilt. It was true, Severus had tried to spend as little time at home as possible during the summer, leaving his mother exposed to his father's abuse. He truly was a coward, he thought.

'I guess so,' he acknowledged. 'Although I'm afraid I hurt her quite a bit, so she might not want to hang out much this summer, if at all.'

'Apologise, Sev, she'll come round,' his mother decided, still smiling from managing to embarrass her son, and nudged him. 'When did you grow up so quickly?' she asked. Severus stilled, internally cursing himself. He had to be careful, even with his mother, not to reveal that he too, was thirty-eight, at least on the inside.

'I don't know,' he replied vaguely with a smile, hoping she wouldn't continue this vein of conversation as they pulled into Spinner's End and their run down house came into view.

'I hope your father's home,' she said lightly, causing Severus to darken and dread the confrontation he knew must eventually come.

X

Severus lay in his childhood bed, staring at the ceiling. Brooding really.

Luckily, his father hadn't been home, and hadn't come home in the four days Severus had been home, thank Merlin. Although it just delayed the inevitable, Severus was glad. One less thing to distract him from planning on how to overcome Lily's hatred for him.

Last time, he hadn't really attempted to right things beyond arguing with her outside Gryffindor Tower, had not tried to speak with her after that, had accepted that she was done with him and his place was with becoming a death eater. Overwhelming guilt and shame washed over him, like it always did when he was alone and thinking of Lily. The fact was, he hadn't even really tried, had not realised how important Lily was until he had lost her and it was too late.

Uncertainty wasn't a feeling Severus was used to- he was so self-assured in his role as a teacher, even as a spy, he always knew how to achieve what he wanted. Now he was once again sixteen years old, it felt like a punch in the gut. He was unsure if it was hormones he wasn't used to dealing with, or the fact that Lily may not forgive him, and his choice in returning to life as a sixteen year old was a waste. Second guessing his decision, he had even considered what Potter had said- that Lily had forgiven him in the afterlife. What if she still chose Potter and never forgave him? Should he have chosen differently? Severus grimaced and rolled over.

It wasn't just the uncertainty bothering him- he was so used to having a purpose, always something to do, whether grading papers, preparing for death eater duties, teaching. Since being home, he had nothing to distract him and keep him from thinking all the time. His books, which as a teenager, he had found so fascinating, were all on obscure dark theorems- a focus he was determined not to take in this life. Besides, he knew it all already, even if he had been interested, they held no new information for him.

Frankly, he was bored. With this thought, Severus smiled. Often his students had complained of boredom, and he had admonished them. Perhaps he was starting to feel like a sixteen year old, even if he was really thirty-eight.

Indecision, he decided, was a horrible feeling. He was so used to walling his feelings whenever he was around others, as a matter of course as a spy, that it came as second nature to have his occlumency shields up- to cloud and mask his feelings. He hadn't really been doing that as he usually would, and he didn't like the feeling. Mentally, he started to pile all the delicate memories behind the walls, leaving his mind blank. Already he felt better, leaving the uncertainty not behind, but at least muted.

He heard a clatter and a curse from downstairs. Probably, his father was finally home. Severus hoped to avoid him for another couple of hours at the very least, although it was mid-morning, and he hadn't eaten. He'd been forming a plan, both for at home, and to hopefully get Lily to forgive him.

His stomach rumbled in complaint, and he got up.

X

Lily lay with her legs propped over the opposite side of the armchair, her red hair spread out behind her as she gazed at the television. Having been home from Hogwarts for just under a day now, she was missing the magical world she had become accustomed to and the friends she had made there. In order to console herself, she had gotten up early on a lazy Sunday to watch cartoons, a childhood habit she and her sister had shared for years before Lily started attending Hogwarts.

The doorbell rang, and as expected, Petunia flew past the TV set to the foyer, giggling giddily that her boyfriend was here for their impending lunch date. Lily ignored this rude interruption and returned her attention to the television.

Currently on the screen were her favourite Looney Tunes adversaries, the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote. Predictably, the anvil that the coyote had designed to fall on the bird had made an anvil shaped hole in the ground where Wile had just been, with solely his feet sticking out. Lily still laughed, because although she was incredibly bored and missed her friends and Hogwarts, an anvil falling on a prankster was just inconceivable enough to be funny. Wile got up, stars spinning around his head and eyes unfocused as Road Runner made his trademark "meep meep!" sound…

'Hi.'

Not unlike Road Runner, Severus Snape also possessed a voice unequal to any other. Uttering just one word in that soft way, Lily's eyes had widened in recognition and she struggled to leap out of the chair to face the boy.

'Freakazoid was at the door,' interjected Petunia sulkily, obviously disappointed that her new boyfriend Vernon was running late.

'Lily, I-' Lily cut him off before he had a chance.

'What? No, I don't want to talk to you, you-'

'Trouble in Freakville?' asked Petunia sagely.

'No!' replied both Lily and Severus together. Lily resumed glaring at him, pondering the quickest way to get him away from her and out of her life.

Having caught on that something was amiss, Petunia laughed scornfully at Snape.

'What's wrong, Snape? Finally figure out that she doesn't like you? Or is it that my freaky sister does like you, and you don't know what to do?' Snape reddened considerably, opening his mouth to trade insults with Petunia, but Lily got there first.

'Tuney, just-!' Lily shouted, exasperated at her sister.

'Pet-toon-ee-ah!' hissed her sister, enunciating each syllable aggressively before turning and stalking up the stairs. Lily huffed in frustration before turning her attention back to Snape.

'You,' she started, physically pushing him back towards the entrance, 'need to,' he started resisting, opening his mouth in protest, 'stay away from me!' she finished loudly, overriding his objections.

'What is all this noise?' asked a voice from the staircase. Upon seeing Severus, Lily's mother smiled warmly.

'Oh, Severus, how nice to see you!'

Lily immediately dropped her hands from Snape's shoulders where she had been pushing him and put on a friendly façade for her mother. Petunia and her had been arguing non-stop since Lily's return from Hogwarts, and her mother had just this morning said if either of them caused any further ruckus today, they would not be allowed to have friends over, and she had invited Olivia over next week for a few nights. Although she mused, friends in Petunia's case meant Vernon, so if they made her mother too mad, at least it wouldn't be a total loss for Lily.

'Hi Mum, we were just going to…'

'Watch some television,' Severus interjected smoothly, spying the box in the corner. 'It's nice to see you too, Mrs Evans,' he returned sincerely.

Despite the fact that Lily had been attempting to push Severus back out towards the front door, Mrs Evans seemed to miss any tension or awkwardness between the two, and she promptly continued down the stairs towards the teenagers.

'Would you like to stay for lunch, dear?'

'Oh, no, Mum, Severus has to-'

'To stay for lunch would be wonderful, Mrs Evans,' Severus again interrupted, whilst Lily shot him a glare.

'Mum,' Lily said, 'isn't Petunia's boyfriend coming over to meet us all? It might be a bit daunting introducing so many people at once.' Mrs Evans started shaking her head, as she had heard the same argument from Lily for three days concerning the upcoming lunch with Petunia ad this boy, Vernon, but Lily continued. 'I think you know, the more people that are there makes it more intimidating, don't you?' she wheedled, simultaneously hinting to Severus that he wasn't welcome and trying to prevent her own appearance at the meal.

'Nonsense,' Mrs Evans replied. 'I highly doubt that meeting a pair of teenagers is more daunting for the boy than meeting his girlfriends parents, Lily, but nice try.' Lily frowned at her mother. 'Weren't you going to watch telly?' she reminded.

'What?' Lily asked, confused. 'Oh, I- yeah, I guess we were,' she replied miserably. Her mother gave her a concerned glance and continued into the kitchen whilst the teenagers stood awkwardly apart from each other, staring.

Lily was the first to break eye contact, huffing and turning to head resignedly back into the sitting room. Severus followed cautiously, having won the first battle, but determined to win the war that was changing Lily's stubborn mind.

'Lily, I-' he started again.

'It's nice to see you too Mrs Evans,' she parroted, plonking herself back into the armchair and focusing on the television, which was now showing a cartoon of Tweety, Granny and Sylvester. 'Merlin, Snape.'

'Your mother has always been pleasant to me,' stated Severus. Lily snorted.

'That's never stopped you from being yourself before. No, you're just being nice because now I've opened my eyes and saw you for what you really are, a dark-arts-lover who wants nothing more than to be a Death Eater!' she whispered, glancing back towards the kitchen entrance for any sign of her mother.

'Lily, that's not what I-'

'Stop saying my name!' she hissed. 'I don't want to talk to you.'

Severus obliged, being quiet and taking a seat on the couch opposite Lily and silently appraised her. This meeting was not going any better than their last verbal encounter outside Gryffindor tower.

Lily, uncomfortable under Severus' prolonged stare, finally raised her gaze from the television and fixed her eyes on him and waited.

'I don't want to become a Death Eater,' he said quietly, 'and I will never call you or anyone else that word ever again.' He kept his eyes fixed on hers, and remained perfectly still whilst he waited patiently for an answer.

Lily sighed, thinking back to all the promises they had made together, and especially the ones he had broken. She heard her voice from two weeks ago confirming exactly what he was denying now.

'You and your precious Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?'

Lily felt the sinking feeling from that night when he didn't immediately reject the idea that he and his friends were planning to join You-Know-Who, and the final loss of her childhood friend to the evil path that he had chosen. The feelings from that night welled up in her again, and she thought of how her friend had made her feel better afterwards.

'You've made promises like that before, Snape,' she replied softly, looking into his eyes to see if she could tell if he was sincere or not. As always, Severus gave away none of what he was feeling.

'I know,' he acknowledged.

'So how would I know if you're actually going to keep them?' she asked.

'You don't,' Severus admitted sadly. 'To get you to trust me again, I will have to keep my promises.'

'I don't know… I just-' Again she sighed, appearing unsure of what to say. 'I don't want to talk about it anymore. Can we not talk about it anymore and just watch TV?'

'But we will talk about it?' Severus persisted, wanting to ensure that she would at least talk to him again after this.

Lily didn't reply, giving him an exasperated look and focusing her attention once again on the television set. He remained quiet, accepting that she was at least tolerating his presence at the moment, which was far better than the cold greeting he had received at King's Cross. He too turned his attention to the television set, where what appeared to be a black creature from outer space in a Roman headdress was attempting to capture an extraordinarily intelligent rabbit that somehow kept thwarting him. Severus let a few minutes pass in silence before asking, 'What is this program?'

'For Merlin's sake, Severus, you have a TV!' Lily burst out in frustration at the boy, only to realise how ridiculous she sounded after the outburst. She abruptly started laughing as she attempted to explain Marvin the Martian and Bugs Bunny to Severus as he became more confused.

The doorbell announced Petunia's forthcoming squealing, but Severus and Lily ignored the commotion at the door as Severus tentatively asked, 'Does this mean we're friends again?'

Lily considered the question, but decided not to answer. 'You are staying for lunch, right?' she quipped, a flicker of a smile on her face.

Severus was content with that. No, that wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no either, and Lily was at least comfortable enough to joke with him again, even a little sarcastically, for the first time in a long twenty-two years.

X

Lily settled comfortably back on the couch, a N.E.W.T. Charms textbook open on her lap.

Whilst she loved her parents, she couldn't help but feel a little isolated from the world she had come to know and love over the last five years, and found it particularly frustrating abstaining from performing magic. Especially when it prevented her from practicing interesting bits of magic that she wouldn't usually find time to practice over and over inside Hogwarts.

'What're you reading?' a voice interrupted her thoughts, and Lily looked up to find Petunia heading for the kitchen, obviously looking for their mother in her hangout. Neither of the girls had inherited their mother's love of cooking, and thus the tendency to hang out in the kitchen, that was for sure.

'Nothing you'd be interested in,' she snapped back, irritated at losing her train of thought.

'Fine,' Petunia replied coolly, turning away to stop Lily from seeing the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. She had noticed that something was bothering her younger sister, and had actually been inquiring to find out what was upsetting her. But if Lily didn't want to talk to her, that was just fine. She was proud that she managed to keep her voice steady as she continued, 'Just make sure you're not reading that when Vernon gets here.' She put an emphasis on "that" to show Lily that it was distasteful, inserting as much scorn as she could into the single word. Lily looked up angrily.

'He's coming here again?' she complained, closing the book. She wouldn't be able to study or concentrate anyway, with that pig coming and leering at her superiorly like she was the most despicable person on the planet. Which Petunia probably told him I am, she thought. 'Didn't you have enough of snogging him yesterday?'

'No,' Petunia replied primly, looking faintly embarrassed, and she continued towards the kitchen.

'Is he at least going to be more polite to me this time?' Lily called after her. Petunia stopped and turned to face her sister.

'Whatever do you mean?' she asked in an innocent voice, insulted and quite willing to pick a fight especially now that Lily was being difficult. Lily's face darkened, and she stood from the couch.

'You know exactly what I mean.'

'No, I don't,' Petunia insisted. The doorbell rang.

'The way he looked and talked at Severus and me at lunch yesterday!'

'So suddenly you and that freak are friends again?' Petunia asked, her voice rising. 'You didn't even want him here yesterday!'

Mrs Evans came out of the kitchen at the second ring, wondering why neither of her daughters had answered the door, but they just stood arguing in the middle of the lounge. She sighed, remembering a time when her girls had once gotten along and headed for the front door, to find a large teenager holding a bunch of sad looking pink flowers in his hand.

'Come in, Vernon,' she murmured, taking the proffered flowers and immediately sitting them in a empty vase sitting in the hall on the table. 'Thank you for the flowers,' she said graciously, although after naming her two children after her particular favourite flowers, she wondered at how he could bring such a pathetic looking bunch to her house.

'You're welcome, ma'am,' he said importantly, following her inside, just as Lily started yelling.

'Severus has just as much of a right to be here as that- that pig!' Lily yelled from behind her, as her mother whipped her head around as Petunia pushed Lily back angrily, and she fell back onto the couch.

'Girls,' she interrupted warningly, but the girls either weren't listening or didn't hear her, she wasn't sure which. She turned to see a look of distaste on Vernon's face at being called a pig by Lily, but he didn't say anything, simply staring at the girls before him.

'Take that back!' Petunia said, standing over Lily menacingly.

'Why should I,' Lily answered coolly. 'It's the truth, isn't it?'

'Girls!' Petunia turned, her fists raised, which she lowered hastily when she saw her boyfriend.

'Vernon,' Petunia greeted in a fake girly voice that Lily had never heard her use before. 'Let's go.'

'Don't,' Lily interjected crossly, grabbing her book bag and shoving her Charms book inside. 'I don't want to be around such small-minded muggles such as yourselves, anyway.'

'Fine!' Petunia screamed at her, ultimately insulted by the word muggle with tears now starting to trickle down her face. Vernon looked bewildered at being called a muggle, and quite a bit nervous at being present between the two feuding sisters. 'Just go, then!'

'Lily!' yelled her mother, truly hurt that Lily would use her sister's lack of magic against her. Lily turned on her mother savagely, no longer ready to listen as her anger boiled over.

'No!' she yelled. 'I'm sick of her telling me that I'm a "freak", I'm abnormal, just because I'm a-'

'LILY!' Petunia screamed, covering Lily's use of the word witch in front of Vernon. Lily screamed back in frustration, viciously pulling her long hair out from under the strap of her bag where it was caught.

'Girls!' yelled Mrs Evans a third time to no effect, and Lily turned, heading for the front door as her mother called after her.

X

Let me know what you think!

~Matilda~