Chapter 9- The Flower Dance
Sirens are wailing, lights are flashing, I can smell smoke. There is a pain in my left arm and I feel panicked. I can hear a little voice calling out, "Mommy? Mommy?"
I wake up in a cold sweat, tears streaming down my face. I haven't had that dream in over a week and I had been starting to feel hopeful that it might be gone. I hold my face in my hands for a few brief moments before I feel Star nuzzling me. I take a deep, shaky breath and start petting her, letting her soft fur and purring bring me back to the present.
Finally getting up, I make myself a cup of coffee and eat the last muffin that Sebastian had left for me. I know that today is the town's flower dance festival and I had been excited to go all week, but now I just feel drained and not really up to the festivities. I know that I'm going to go anyway, I want to show my support of the community and maybe it will help lighten my mood. I only have three hours until it starts so I really need to get my work done on the farm so that I have time to get ready. I sigh and put my hair up in a ponytail before lacing up my boots. I start in my garden, tending to my plants and checking if anything is ready to harvest before going to check on my new chickens. I can't wait for them to start laying eggs, not only will that mean getting omelets for breakfast, but they might bring in some extra money too.
WIth my daily tasks for the farm done, I head inside to take a long hot shower. I was planning on wearing my hair up, but I didn't want to show up looking grimy. The shower really helped to calm my nerves and I feel a lot calmer when I go to sit and do my makeup. I put a little concealer under my eyes to hide my rough night before putting a swipe of silver eyeshadow on each eye and applying my mascara. I choose a neutral pink for my lipstick then work on blow-drying my hair. With that done, I throw it into a messy bun, pulling some strands out in the front. It looks decent enough, I think with a sigh, heading to my closet to pull out one of the only dresses I brought from the city. It's a long strapless satin dress in a dark blue that reminds me of the night sky once the moon comes out. I had painted my nails silver too, hoping for a look that reminded people of stars. I pull on some chunky black heels since I am not planning on struggling with pulling thin heels out of the grass every few seconds and head out the door, giving Star a kiss on the head before heading down the path towards the forest.
They really went all out! Where I usually see directly into the forest, there is now a path marked with colorful flags leading to where the festival is taking place.
"Maeve!" I hear a familiar voice call out behind me. I look back and see Abigail bounding towards me in a vintage looking white dress made of lace. It really seems to merge her goth vibe with the white theme of the girls dancing.
"Wow Abby, you look fantastic!" I say, throwing my arms around her in a hug.
"Me? You look beautiful! I wish I didn't have to wear white, it's so boring!" She rolls her eyes before grabbing my hand and tugging me to the festival.
Once we enter I see everyone bunched in different groups chatting, a table with food and drinks, and Jas and Vincent chasing each other through the grass. I can't help but smile, it's such a happy scene, and it's one that I get to be a part of.
"You go ahead and find our group, I'm going to get a drink and make the rounds." I tell Abigail before walking towards the food table.
"Okay, but be careful with the punch, Pam spikes it each year!" Abigail calls out, laughing.
"Counting on it!" I shout back. When I get to the table I see that they had already planned for Pam's mischief this year since there are two bowls of punch with one labeled "Kids" and another labeled "Pam's Special". I chuckle and pour myself a glass of Pam's punch before walking over to where Harvey is watching Maru and Penny chat. I can tell he wants to talk too but doesn't know how to cut in.
"Hey Doctor!" I say, grabbing his shoulder.
"Oh, hello Maeve. You're looking nice, are you enjoying the flower festival?"
"I am! It's so beautiful and everyone seems so happy. How about you?"
"Yes, well…I'm just working up the courage to ask someone to dance with me." He says, clearing his throat and looking between Maru and Penny.
"I'm sure whoever you ask will say yes and they will be very lucky to have you. You got this Doc!" I give him a thumbs up and a wink before walking off. I manage to talk to Elliot and Leah, who looks beautiful with flowers woven into her braid, I also talk to George and Evelyn as well as Robin before my stomach starts begging for food. I walk back to the food table and get a little plate with cheese, crackers and different aged meats. I love dry-aged meats. Give me prosciutto or salami any day and I am a happy girl.
"Hey Maeve." I hear and turn to see Sam walking over to me.
"Hey Sam, looking sharp!" I say with a big smile, he's wearing the blue suit that is customary for the guy dancers to wear, it goes well with his blond hair and blue eyes.
"Thanks" he says, rubbing the back of his neck shyly. "You look really nice too. You're not wearing white so that really means you aren't dancing huh?"
"Haha, nope! I get to sit this one out and watch all of you instead of embarrassing myself." He smiles a little at my lame joke but doesn't respond.
"So," I say, trying to fill the silence, "did you end up asking Penny to dance? She looks beautiful today." And she's wearing white, which means that she's dancing.
"Oh, yeah. I asked her yesterday. Maeve, do you think we could go somewhere to talk really quick?" My stomach flips, that question never leads somewhere that I want to go.
"Sure, it looks like there's a quiet spot in those trees, let's go over there." I point behind us and put my plate down before following Sam out. Once we get into the clearing Sam stops and clears his throat before turning to look at me.
"So, Maeve…I…I was hoping the other night at the saloon…that you were going to say that I should ask you." I can feel my face turn bright red while a million thoughts swirl in my head. I wasn't ready for this conversation.
"Oh…why?" I say with no tact at all. Yoba strike me down where I stand.
"I just…thought that we maybe had some of the same feelings starting y'know." Now he's bright red too.
"Oh." Do I have any other words? Why can't I use words? I'm making this so much worse than it needs to be.
"I'm sorry Sam…I haven't been here for very long and I really feel like we have a good friendship. I…don't really see you that way. I'm so sorry. You're so sweet and kind and funny I just can't control how I feel, I'm sorry." Now I can't stop saying sorry. It's true though, I might have been questioning my feelings at first but once he asked to see me out here I knew in my gut that he is just a friend to me.
"Ts'okay, you don't have to keep apologizing. You don't feel how I feel. It's okay." He's mumbling and his face has fallen.
"But Sam, Penny is an amazing girl and I know that she'll see you the way that you want. She just has a lot going on with her mom and with teaching the kids. Just keep trying and show her a good time today. I've seen her looking at you too, even if you don't." I have no idea if this is the right time or place for this at all but my mouth never wants to say the right thing anyway.
"Yeah, Penny's great." He says, clearing his throat again.
"We should probably go, we don't want to keep everyone waiting and wondering where we are." He mumbles before trying to walk past me. I grab his hand and give it a tight squeeze and feel him lightly squeeze back before letting go. I watch him walk away before taking a deep breath and following him back to the festival. Time for more of Pam's punch.
I'm fling my cup up with more punch just as Mayor Lewis calls for the dancers to line up. I find a nice spot and lean onto a tree to watch the dance. Everyone looks so nice but my eyes can't help but be drawn to where Sebastian stands opposite of Abigail in his blue suit. He looks almost regal and I would think that he belonged out there if I didn't know how uncomfortable he must be. Once the dance starts I'm even more grateful to not be dancing because it seems so intricate and everyone else has clearly had a lot of practice. I can see Harvey dancing with Maru, which means he must have finally gotten enough confidence to ask of the other pairs seem unexpected and I work to try and not catch Sam's eye while he dances with Penny. He seems equally determined, watching Penny and smiling broadly at her. I can hear her laugh and it relaxes something in me, I'm really glad that I didn't ruin their night. That whole encounter was so awkward and I never know what to say at times like those.
Once the dance is over Abigail drags Sebastian over to me, giggling like crazy. She must have had some of Pam's punch too.
"Hey guys, you looked great out there!" I meet Sebastian's gaze and blush, He's watching me with such a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Whew! Thanks! Maybe there will finally be a year that someone will want to dance with me who isn't this glum guy." She punches Sebastian in the shoulder and laughs a little too loud. Geez she must have drank more than I thought.
"Hey, Abby? Could you go and get us some snacks? I'm hungry but my feet are killing me!" I put a slight whine in my voice and pout lightly at her. This girl needs to get something in her other than alcohol or she's going to fall over.
"Fiiine, but don't have too much fun without me! I'm off to forage for snacks!" WIth another laugh she starts towards the food table. I chuckle and turn back towards Sebastian.
"My feet are really fine, but she needs something to soak up that alcohol." I smile at him conspiratorially. He smiles back at me.
"Good idea, I was pretty much holding her up for the entire dance." He lets out a low laugh that gives me goosebumps.
"I know this isn't your favorite thing to do but you…look beautiful." I have to stop meeting his eyes for the last part. I didn't mean to say beautiful but there's really no other word, he just is. I know that I'm blushing too, the alcohol is not helping hide it at all. There's a long silence, not uncomfortable, but long before he says,
"Thank you, you look beautiful too. Like a clear night sky." That makes me look back up at him, there's a pink tinge to his cheeks too. I can't help but smile shyly back at him. He always seems to understand me.
For the rest of the festival we both stand there sipping our spiked punch, quietly watching everyone else talk and dance, while Abby talks to anyone who would listen. The silence between us is comfortable, and anytime we see something funny that Abby or someone else does we smile at one another or chuckle. It's really nice not having to say anything at all.
Once everything starts dying down I get the courage to look over at Sebastian.
"Hey, Sebastian? I'm ready to go, would you mind if I walk home with you and go through the mountain pass?" It feels like a bold move but his presence is so comforting and it's nighttime. Nighttime means dreams…which for me, means nightmares.
Sebastian grunts before saying "I mean, yeah, yes, let's go." I chuckle and grab his arm. I don't miss Sam watching us from over Penny's shoulder, I can't read his expression and he looks back at Penny before I can try to decipher it. We walk through the town in silence, but once we reach the lake, I begin walking towards it instead of home.
"How about a smoke by the lake? Can I borrow one?" I smile at Sebastian teasingly, walking backwards to the lake. He looks surprised but follows me to the edge, where I sit down and take my shoes off, letting my feet sit in the cool water. He joins me, sitting with his knees up, he takes his suit jacket off and loosens his tie before rolling up his sleeves. He looks so good, I can't help but stare. before He glances at me and smiles, pulling out his pack of cigarettes. He hands me one and offers me the lighter. I light mine and hand it back, waiting for him to light his.
"Thanks." I say after a pause. "It was a pretty rough day, definitely a long one." He nods in agreement and takes a pull of his cigarette.
"I noticed you seemed…off when we came to meet you after the dance." He says, but he doesn't outright ask what happened, leaving it up to me if I want to share or not. I actually find myself wanting to.
"Yeah. Before everyone started dancing Sam took me aside and…well he said he had feelings for me….feelings that I don't have for him. I tried to let him down easy but I think we both just felt uncomfortable. I can never say the right thing." I finish my confession and take a long drag of my cigarette, this is his best friend that i'm talking about, I don't want to make things awkward.
"I know how that feels. Feeling like you can't say the right thing, I mean." Sebastian responds quietly, looking towards the lake. "And Sam…He has a lot of feelings but he's a strong guy, he'll bounce back and be just fine. You shouldn't worry about it." I finish my cigarette and put it out quietly before taking my hair out of its bun and lying back in the grass.
"Thanks Sebastian. And thanks for spending this time with me. You have a way of putting me at ease. I feel like I can just let myself exist with you, I don't feel like I need to live up to some expectation of…I dunno, peppiness I guess. I can just be." I smile up at the sky. I hear a rustling next to me and when I look over I can see that Sebastian has also laid down and is watching the sky with a gentle smile on his face.
"I feel the same way." He says.
"It's nice to be alone together." I smile and let my hand brush up against the one laying at his side.