MASH 4077th
"Hello, my name is Benjamin Franklin Pierce. You may remember me as Hawkeye. A surgeon from a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. M*A*S*H for short. A Captain. Our unit number was the 4077th. But we referred to it as hell no matter how hard Father Mulcahy tried to make heaven on Earth. We were a rag tag group. Our commander, Lieutenant Coronel Henry Blake, was our first. He was sent home, but the Koreans had other plans. He was shot down over The Sea of Japan. His replacement was an army for life kind of guy, A full bird Coronel. Sherman Potter was a great commander. He really made the madness less chaotic. Our head nurse, Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan, was a hard ass but she softened during our time there. I shared my tent with another Captain B. J. Hunnicutt and a Major Charles Emerson Winchester the Third. They were very different men. Charles was a snoot and thought himself above me and BJ. He came from money and the only reason he ended up in Korea is because a General lost to him in a game of Cribbage. BJ, on the other hand, came to us straight from the USA. Mill Valley, to be exact. From the great state of California. Quite different from Charles home in Boston, Massachusetts. Both were great surgeons and great friends."
"Our company clerk, Corporal Walter "Radar" O'Riley, went home to Ottumwa, Iowa to be with his mom to take care of the family farm after his uncle passed away. His replacement was Sargent Maxwell Q. Klinger. This guy hated the army so much that he dressed in women's clothing trying to get a Section 8. If you don't know what that is: it's what they give to soldiers that are deemed unable to perform their duties due to psychological reasons. He didn't get the discharge, but he did get a Korean wife near the end and then decided to stay in Korea."
"I want to mention about our resident priest. Captain Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy. He was the only calming presence during the war. He saved souls, cared for the orphans, and even saved two lives. One was the camp mutt. The dog loved to drink and one day The Father gave the dog so much alcohol that the animal got sick. Ran off and wouldn't touch another drop. The other life was a young man that Radar was bringing back from a Battalion Aid station. Long story short, the kid was having trouble breathing due to his tongue swelling cutting off his air way. They called us at the MASH unit for a doctor, and I explained the procedure of a Trichotomy. This is where you cut an opening in a person's neck, insert a tube and presto, the person starts breathing again using the tube. If I knew at the time, I could just give instructions on procedures like this, I'd just stayed home and called it in."
Hawkeye set down his pen and notebook. He poured himself some tea. His lunch was sitting there on the table. A small fly was walking around the edge. Pierce looked at the fly. "Are you hungry? I got something in the house that you might like." The fly flew off as If it understood Hawkeyes words. "No accounting for taste." He uttered as if talking to someone. But he was alone. After he finished his lunch, he went back to writing in his notebook. "Where was I?" He asked himself. "Ah yes. The 4077th."
"The reason I'm writing this is because in a couple of weeks I'll be traveling to Kansas City, Missouri. There is a medical conference about the newest plague. COVID-19. I don't know how many of my patients came down with this disease, but some have yet to recover. We don't get many outbreaks here in Crabapple Cove, Maine. We keep to ourselves pretty much but every now and then something comes along that really shakes up the place." He takes a sip of tea. "I hope some of my friends will be there. It will be great getting back together with the old gang."
"After the war we lost touch and some of us lost family. I for one lost my dad less than a year after coming home. Some of them got together and even worked in the same hospital. Potter, Klinger, and Mulcahy. Radar went to work for the police in Saint Louis, Missouri. BJ went back to San Francisco. He hung out his shingle and became a gynecologist. He spent so much time saving lives that now he wants to bring them into the world instead of out. His daughter, Erin, followed in her father's footsteps and went to med school. She just graduated as a pediatrician. She will be working with her dad. This will be her first conference, so I wonder if she'll be there with her dad?"
His writing is interrupted by the mailman. "Doctor Pierce, can I ask you something?" The doctor looked over his shoulder. "Sure, Benny that's why I'm here. Shoot." Benny approached Hawkeye quickly. "Well, I got this pain in my lower back. What do you think it is?" Hawkeye scratched his chin. "Well Benny I can't tell from here. How about you come in the office tomorrow. And I'll take a look." Benny saluted him as he walked away. "Thanks doc, I knew I could count on you. Oh. here's your mail. See ya tomorrow." He handed Hawkeye a stack of letters. "Bye Benny." He said looking through the stack. "Used to get letters from all my war buddies but over the years the letters stopped coming. Time sometimes doesn't heal all wounds. Sometimes it is the cause." He sat down his notebook and pen when a particular letter caught his attention. "Hello what's this? Why Charles you little devil. I didn't expect to hear from you. I wonder how things are in Beantown. Well let's open her up and see what you're up too. Shall we?"
As he begins to scan the letter, he notices the letterhead is personalized for the Winchester family. His tone changes from happy to concern as he reads the writing.
"Dear Benjamin, I wish I wrote you under better terms but as fate would have it, I have been diagnosed with the big C. Cancer. I will soon join my mother and father in the great beyond. I have a serious question to ask you. Before my time comes, I need to make arrangements for my sister, Anorea. She will be alone in this world since I have yet to marry. My question to you, Hawkeye, is will you keep in touch with her?
If it is at all possible, I would like you to be her guardian, but I understand if you cannot. I have left her my inheritance. I hope you can at least be her pen pal. My time is going short so I must bid you farewell. Take care of yourself. My wish for you is longevity and happiness. Sincerely, Chuck the third."
Slowing wiping tears from his eyes, Benjamin placed the letter on the table. "Sure, Charles, I'll do my best. Thank you for having your trust in me." As he got up to get another drink, he noticed one of the other letters. This one also had the Winchester letterhead, but it wasn't from Charles.
"Salutations Mr. Pierce, I am Anorea. Sister of Charles Emerson. He has asked me to correspond with you. He thinks me a child that needs watching all the time, but I am fine. I hope that you received the letter in which he wrote to you. Sadly, my beloved older brother didn't live long enough to send it personally. He was taken from me by Cancer. Please send me a response to this letter if you are interested in corresponding with me on a regular basis. I do wish we can be penning pals, please regale me with tails of my brother while he was in the service. Well good day, Mr. Pierce. I so look forward to your letter. Anorea Winchester"
As Hawkeye read, her letter, he was overcome with a sense of laughter and grief. He picked up the envelope of Charles' letter and looked at the date. Then looked at the date printed on the letter itself. He noticed that there was a difference of a few years between the two of them, apparently, he died before mailing the letter to him and his sister took it upon herself for him to receive it. If anyone he knew would be at the conference, he would tell them of Charles passing.
He looked at more letters from his mail. Nothing important, except his tickets to Kansas City and to the conference itself. He grabbed his notebook, pen, the stack of mail and went into the house. He started to pack for the conference. He placed the notebook with the pen on the bed with the stack of letters. "No time like the present to back for the event. Now what did I do with the phone number to the hotel. I need to check my reservation." He grabbed a piece of luggage from under the bed. Opening his closet. Ben slowly pushed the shirts around looking for the perfect one. "Ah yes, this one brings back memories. I wonder if it still fits." He grinned as he removed a blue shirt from its hanger. "This floral print should bring back some memories." He said as he tried it on. He turned around and looked at himself in the mirror. "It still fits. You're coming with me to Kansas City." He slipped it off and placed it in the suitcase. After looking the closet up and down, the bag was filled. "Now that I'm packed what should I do next?" He sat down on the bed, took the pen off the notebook and started writing again.
"The tickets arrived today dad. This time next week I'll be in a hotel in Kansas City. The home of barbeque and jazz. I hope the conference doesn't cause me to sleep without enjoying what the city has to offer. I called the hotel and things are set, paid for, and ready. I must call my secretary and make sure she can run the place while I'm gone. Shouldn't be too hard there aren't that many cases. Tomorrow, I see Benny. You remember Benny, don't you dad? He's talking about his back again. I think he needs to retire. Maybe he can teach me how to golf? Well, it's getting late time for bed. Talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight dad.
That night Hawkeye couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned. Images from his time in the war kept flashing in front of him. The noise of the operating room. The noise of the war. People asking him about patients and how to handle them. He got up at one point and went to his fridge. Inside was a bottle of liquor. The grabbed a glass from the cabinet and drank a shot. Not enough to get drunk. Just enough to calm him down so he could sleep. After his long night he got up, took a shower, and drove to his office. There was Benny standing in front of the door. "Good morning, Dr. Pierce." Without saying a word, Hawkeye opened his office door and motioned to Benny to go in. He gave Benny a once over. "Well, what do you think Doc?" Benny said. Hawkeye sat down at his desk. "Well Benny it looks to me that you should retire. I think you've delivered your last mail. At least that is what your back is telling you. You don't need me when you have a bad back giving you orders." He chuckled. But Benny didn't find that comment funny. "What's wrong Benny?" The sadness in Benny's eyes spoke volumes.
"Well Doc I got a letter yesterday from my aunt. She needs help but she lives out of state. Been thinking about going to her but I love my job." Hawkeye stood up and patted the man's back. "I understand your loyalty to the work, but your health is much more important. Maybe this is a sign you should go help you aunt." Benny looked over at him. Then he smiled. "I'll miss you, Doctor Pierce. You've been good to me these past few years." The doc walked over to the door. "I'll tell you what Benny. I'm not going to charge you for your visit today. Think of it as a retirement gift. Take care of yourself. I hope my next mailman is as good you." He shook Benny's hand as he motioned him to go. "One more thing Benny, the next time I see you call my Hawkeye. That's what my friends call me. Goodbye."
That took care of Benny. "I'll miss him but I'm glad for his aunt. She is in good hands with him. He's a great mailman." Pierce talk to the secretary about other cases but there weren't any new patients. Slow Day. "Leslie why don't you call it a day. I'll lock up." She grabbed her bag and coat. "Thanks Doc." She was out the door before he could wave. She didn't hear him tell her tootle Lou.
The ride home was quiet nothing going on. They were preparing the main street for the annual festive happening next week. He wouldn't be there, but he could take the images with him. Maybe share his memories with his friends if he sees them next week. He got home, had dinner then went to bed. Even though he didn't look like it, he was exhausted and wanted nothing more to sleep.
Time passed as the day approached for him to say goodbye to Crabapple Cove for a while. His secretary, Leslie, was ready to run things. If there was an emergency, she could send them to the local hospital. His neighbor, Mr. Gillis, has agreed to what his place while he is away. In this small town, people look out for one another. The day came and he went to the Portland airport. Luckily, he had paid extra and gotten a window seat. In a little over five hours, he will be in Kansas City. The conference will be the next day. The plane took off and Hawkeye decided to take a nap.
Five and a half hours later. "I woke up just before we landed. The sky was blue, and it almost reminded me of home looking out the window. We didn't take long to disembark. I went up to the counter and as the person there where I could get some lunch. She recommended this cozy place there in the airport. I thanked he and we soon eating one of the things I was looking forward to…some barbeque."
"I hadn't been eating long when I hear a familiar female voice." "Excuse me sailor, but is this seat taken?" "I stopped feeding my face long enough to turn around." Standing there was the bombshell of the 4077th: Margaret Houlihan. "Margaret!" Hawkeye nearly spit out his lunch. He put his arms around her and gave her a huge hug." "Have a seat. I told her." The room seemed to fall silent as two old friends talked about the old times. Hawkeye sat intensely gazing at Hot Lips as she told him of her most recent divorce. "So, what brings you to Kansas City?" I asked her. She beamed a smile. "Well after my divorce I decided to change things up a bit. I here for the conference." Hawkeye was confused. "This place is for doctors. You were a nurse, if I recall." She nodded. "Yes, but they invited medical personnel. So, I came out of retirement. And here I am." She sat back in her seat. "Well, I'm glad you're here. It would get boring without a familiar face." Hawkeye told her. They just sat staring at each other.
The silence was broken up by another familiar voice. "Is there room for a couple more at your table or do I have to sit at the bar?" Margaret stood as Hawkeye turned to see his old friend BJ Hunnicutt standing there with an attractive young woman. "I was hoping to see you before this is over and you brought a date." Pointing to his left, BJ did some instructions. "Hot Lips, Hawkeye may I present to you Dr. Erin Wilson, my daughter." "This is Erin?" Hawkeye too a step backward. "Last time I saw her she was blowing bubbles off her mothers' hand in that film she sent you for your anniversary." Margaret stepped up and gave a hug to BJ and then Erin. "Wow. You really grew up. And a doctor no less. Good for you. Show these men that we women can be just as good as them only better." A look off curiosity crossed Hawkeye's face. "Speaking of Peg, where is she?" BJ let out a grin. "She is at home taking care of…my grandson, BJ." Hawkeye started to laugh. "BJ? A grandfather?" Erin spoke up. "My husband and I decided to name him after their fathers' best friends. So, his father had a friend named James." BJ finished her comment. "And my best friends name was Benjamin." Both Hawkeye and Margaret simultaneously let out an "Aw." "Wait a minute?" Hawkeye said. "You named him after me?" All BJ could do was smile. "Not to change the subject of family but how did we all end up at the same restaurant? Did you guys talk to the same desk clerk or is this just a popular place." Margaret let out a laugh. "I was just on my way to get my luggage when I saw you sitting here alone." BJ turned to his daughter. "We were just in the neighborhood." They all started laughing. "Regardless, it is so great that you are here." BJ looked at his watch. "I hate to break up our little reunion, but we still have to get our luggage and check into our hotel. Maybe we can get together for dinner?" Hawkeye pointed at them. "You're on! It's a date."
Margaret got ready to leave. "Of all the men in my life and I have you two." She hugged BJ, Erin, and them Hawkeye. With tears in her eyes. "I don't want to let go." She stepped back. Hawkeye smiled. "It's just for a few hours. We'll be back tonight." He then turned and hugged Erin and BJ. "I'll see you both later. Be safe." He waved as the group walked away. He finally paid for lunch then went and got his luggage. Outside he walked the parking lot looking for he rental car. From behind him a man's voice. "Excuse me sir. May I help you?" Hawkeye looked up from reading his receipt. "Sure, where on this thing does it say where my car is?" A hand reached over to take the paper. "It's right here." He said pointing to a line on the page. A realization struck the Doctor. "Walter? Radar? I that you?" The man smiled a grin ear to ear.
"How are you doing Hawkeye?" The hug that Hawkeye gave him picked him up off the ground. "Radar, what are you doing here?" Walter just shrugged. "I'm helping out for the conference. They didn't have enough help at the rental place so here I am." Hawkeye asked. "Still working for the police, or are you just pretending to like Klinger?" Radar started to giggle. "Would you believe if I told you that Klinger is in town too." Hawkeye rubbed his eyes. "He's not dressed as a doctor is, he?" They took a few steps and stopped in front of a blue Honda Accord. Pointing to the vehicle. "Here we are. Nice seeing you again sir." Walter told him. "Radar, please call me Hawkeye. We are not in the military anymore." They exchanged a hug. "If you're not too busy later, me and the gang are meeting for dinner later. You should join us they would be glad to see you." Radar shook his head in acknowledgement and waved goodbye.
After a short drive, Hawkeye arrived in front of the Holiday Inn. A cozy hotel just a short drive from the Sprint center. He didn't know where the other were staying but he hoped they were just as cozy. He reaches the counter and the desk clerk. She was a small brunette. Very pretty. There was opportunity here, but Hawkeye didn't turn on his charm. She smiles as she hands him is room key. The number was on a keychain fob. The sound of the key turning the lock on the door was smooth. No problem getting in the room. The room was small but elegant. Just right. He laid down on the bed after checking for bedbugs. He was exhausted from his plane ride and wanted to catch a nap before dinner. "Nightly night." He said to no one there.
A couple of hours pass when the phone rings. When he checked in, he asked for a wake-up call. Hawkeye gets up, takes a shower, and then gets into his luggage. Here's to old times." He holds up his blue floral shirt. "Still fits." He claps his hands together and rubs his palms together. "Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. We are going to have some fun tonight?" His excitement suddenly stopped. "Where are we going to meet? We didn't say where we were to have dinner?"
As if on que, his cell phone beeped as a text message came across the screen. The words: Cheesecake Factory? I'll send a car to come get you. Walter. "Radar, some things never change." Hawkeye said smiling. "The one thing about that kid was his ability to get things done. This was no different." A few hours passed when the phone rang again from the front desk. A car was there to get him. He used the elevator. Outside a lone patrol car sat with a young driver. "Hop in doc!" The driver said. "Cute, Radar." Hawkeye said. "But won't you get into trouble using this patrol car as a limo?" Radar just shook his head. "We'll be alright, I just won't use my sirens. Come on! I still have to get BJ and his daughter." Hawkeye climbed in. "Alright officer, don't arrest me." It wasn't long before the group as sitting at a back table at the Cheesecake Factory. They were laughing, having a good time when Hawkeye ordered a round of drinks for the gang. "I'll have a martini. A Shirley Temple for the officer in blue 'I'll assume you have outgrown Grape Nehi' He said to Radar "and a glass champagne each for the ladies. What will you have BJ?" He looked over at the waitress. "I'll have what's he's having.
Radar laughed. "Do you know I haven't had that soda since coming back from Korea?" They all erupted in laughter. The waitress arrived with the drinks except the one for Radar. "I'm sorry sir. But we seem to be out of the stuff for a Shirley Temple. But a man came in a minute ago and handed me this bottle. He says that he will see you tomorrow after the conference." She places a bottle on the table. Everyone knew in a minute who had sent the bottle. "Klinger! Why didn't he stay? We could have had a full reunion?" Walter took the bottle. Held it as if it was a newborn baby. "He had to get back to work."
The hour grew late. "Time to take you guys back to your hotels. I Got an early start tomorrow with the conference." Walter said. They paid the check and gave their waitress a hefty tip. They climbed into the patrol car. Hawkeye, BJ, and his daughter in the back with Hot Lips sitting next to Radar in the front. "You know we need to do this more often. I had a great time with everyone." Hawkeye said as they took off. "I think we could do this more, but I don't think there will be any more conferences soon." Radar said. He stopped in front of BJ's hotel first. The mustache had survived the years, but it was now white. "See you all at the conference. Maybe after it's over we can get together again." Hawkeye and Hot Lips both agreed. They waved back at the two. "So where to Major?" Walter asked. "Hawkeye?" She said looking into the mirror. Surprised Hawkeye pointed to himself. "Me? You want to come home with little oh with me?"
They pulled up in front of Holiday Inn. "She didn't want me to tell you where she was staying so that's why we met at the restaurant." Walter said. "Thanks Radar." She said as she got out of the car. Hawkeye looked over at her. "You naughty girl." He tapped her shoulder. "So, tell me, seriously, where are you staying?" She points to the door. "Here silly. I checked in an hour after you did." "I kind of helped." Radar interjected. "Well. Goodnight, guys. See you tomorrow." Hawkeye bent his arm and offered it to Margaret. "Shall we?" He said motioning. They entered the hotel arm and arm. He escorted her to her room. He wrapped his hand around hers. "Margaret, I had a great time. I just don't want it to end." She reached up a lightly kissed him. "Doesn't have too." He returned the kiss. "Remember when we had that fight outside the mess hall?" He smiled. "I recall. You said my lips were electric. And you then compared them to stale liver." She started laughing. "I was right about them being electric." She turned the key to her room. She then turned and looked up at him. "Want to come in a shock me with them." He took a step back. "Major? Are you coming on to me? A junior officer? "She turned stern. "That's an order, Captain." Hawkeye walked in playfully. "Shall I assume the position?" He spoke.
They spent the night wrapped in each other's arm and didn't wake up until the phone rand with her wake-up call. She got up and started dressing. Having trouble with her brazier, Hawkeye walked behind her to help. "What do you think you're doing?" She said angrily. "Relax Margaret. I'm just trying to help. He replied innocently. "Besides I'm a doctor. I've seen more breast then there are chickens at a KFC." Margaret let out a laugh. "That's true." She turned around to see Hawkeye on one knee. "Margaret, I've only been in love once and I let that woman get away and now that you're back, I'm not letting that happen again. Please say yes to my question. Marry me?" She put her hands on her mouth. "I don't know what to say. Are you serious?" He smiled. "As a heart attack." She turned her back for a moment. Then turned around "Yes." Was all she said. He stood up and kissed her then hugged her. "I promise when we get to Crabapple Cove, I'll get you a ring. We will have a nice house with a white picket fence and a little dog named Ferret Face." She laughed so hard her face turned red and tears ran down her face. "That's well and good but we need to get going or we are going to be late." Hawkeye grabbed his pants and shirt. Quickly got dressed. "We need to arrive separately, or they will suspect us." She agreed. He kissed her goodbye.
He arrived at the Sprint center to a group waiting for him at the door. "You finally made it Hawk. We thought you'd got lost." BJ said. Before he could answer BJ, another car pulled up and Margaret stepped out. "Well look whose here. Fashionable late I see." Hawkeye commented. Margaret was looking great. "Looking good Margaret." Said Erin. "She reminds me of mom." Erin said looking at BJ. "Well, if I wasn't already married, I'd be tempted." Margaret blushed. Hawkeye just smiled. They had no idea what the two of them planned. He looked up the building. "Why do they call this place the Sprint Center? Does it grow legs and run away?" They let out a chucked. BJ replied. "Maybe it's because everybody runs to the center when things are happening." A familiar voice added his thoughts. "They named it after the old phone company that originally built it. The place went out of business on August 2nd, 2020." Radar walked up behind the group. "Hi guys." Hawkeye asked him. "What are you doing here?" Radar smiled. "I'm part of the security team for the conference. Enjoy yourselves. I'll see you later."
They walked in, got their ID badges, and then made their way to their seats. After sitting for three hours without a break the group decided they had heard enough. "If Charles were here, he would be asking if they ever followed the KISS rule." Erin was a little confused. "Dad, the KISS rule?" BJ replied to his daughter. "Keep it simple stupid. Or in this case, short." BJ looked around. "I don't see baldy anywhere. Did Charles come to this convention?" Hawkeye spoke up. "I almost forgot to tell you. Charles passed away a few years ago. I heard from his sister Anorea just about a week before this event." Margaret couldn't believe her ears. "A few years ago?" Hawkeye explained. "His sister mailed me a letter he wrote to me because he died before he could mail it himself. She asked me to regal her with stories about his life in the military." They all stood silently as him to give that moment to the Major. "Well, anyone up for a snack or meal?" BJ shook his head. "Sorry hawk but we've got a plane to catch in about two hours, and we thought we'd do some sightseeing first. It was great seeing you guys and gals again. If you're ever in Mill Valley look us up." He hugged Margaret then Hawkeye. "If you're ever in Maine, I'm still in Crabapple Cove." They exchanged waves. They stood there the three of them, Hawkeye, Margaret and Walter.
"Can I give you guys a ride?" Walter said to the two of them. "No, we got things to do and people to see but we will miss you, Radar. Thanks." He put his arms around the little guy. "Margaret. It was nice seeing you." He gave her a sly grin. "Captain, you were an officer and a gentleman. I look forward to our next meeting." She turned and hailed a cab. "Until next time." Hawkeye said waving. Radar turned to walk away. "So, you said that Klinger is also in town, but we haven't seen him. Where is he?" Hawkeye questioned him. Radar smiled innocently. "Well, he will be here if you need him. I got to go. I'm still working. See you around." He climbed into his patrol car and pulled away.
Hawkeye arrived back at his hotel. Margaret was waiting for him. "Do you think they know about us?" He shook his head. "They have no idea. Let's go downtown and get a license. I saw this cute church not far from here." They went to the courthouse. Then went to the church. There standing in front of the alter was a man dressed in black. He appeared to be cleaning the candle, replacing those that were too low. "Excuse me father." Hawkeye called. "I would like to marry this fine woman, if you don't might performing the ceremony." The priest responded, almost mumbling. "The father would be happy to help. It gladdens the Lord's heart to see his children marry." He didn't turn around. "So, what are you waiting for father?" Margaret asked. "I believe he is waiting on us." Called BJ. They turned around to see BJ, Erin, and Walter. "You guys." Hawkeye said. "How did you…? They all turned to look at Walter. He just smiled and shook his shoulder. "It's what I do."
"Let's get on with it before there are any more surprises. Father?" Hawkeye said as he turned around. The priest mumbled again. "Father, we can't understand you. Can you speak up?" Slowly The Father turned to face them. "Hello my children." Everyone on of them looked at each other then at the altar. "Max? Is that you Klinger?" Maxwell beamed a smile. "So, do you want to get married or not. I don't have all day." They laughed. "I'll tell you everything after we get done." Father Klinger spoke the traditional marriage speech until they got to the vows." "The rings please." Father Max asked. They two of them looked at each other panicked. "We forgot to get rings." Hawkeye said. Laughing BJ reached into his pocket and produced a pair of gold bands. "What kind of best man would I be if I'd forgotten the rings." They both thanked him. Father Max "May we continue? Do you, Benjamin Franklin Pierce take Margaret Houlihan Penobscot Donahue to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Benjamin took Margaret by the hand. "How can I say no to that beautiful face. I definitely do." Then Father Max turned to Margaret. "Do you Margaret Penobscot Donahue take this man, Benjamin Franklin Pierce to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Taking Hawkeyes hand, "They say three times is a charm. I definitely do." Father Max continued. "Place the ring on her finger and say 'With this ring I thee wed'" Hawkeye placed the band on her left ring finger. "With this ring I thee wed." Father Max spoke. "Margaret takes Benjamin's hand and say to him "With this ring I thee wed." She looked into Hawkeyes eyes. "With this ring I thee wed." She placed the gold band on his left ring finger. Father max beamed an ear-to-ear smile. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the Major, Captain Pierce." The room erupted in laughter and cheers. "It is my great pleasure to announce Mister and Misses Benjamin Franklin Pierce.
Congratulations!" "Can I hug the bride?" Father Max said. Margaret gave him a hug. Followed by BJ and Walter. "I got to know. Is this legal? Maxwell, are you actually a priest?" Hawkeye asked The Father. "Believe it or not. Yes, I am actually a priest. Thanks to Father Mulcahy. He helped me get into Seminary school. After a few years, here I am. Father Maxwell Q Klinger. This was my calling. I helped you in the OR. I helped the camp in the war in Korea. My wife (at the time) with finding her family and now I help God with souls. Marrying people is the baklava on the cake." He hugged Max. Turning to his new bride. So, Margaret. To you sign things as Houlihan Penobscot Donahue Pierce?" She laughed. "No, you can call me Margaret Pierce." Hawkeye smiled. "Well, you're back in the military." She looked at him confused. "Huh." She spoke. "You can say you're an MP." Again, the room was filled with laughter. "Hot Lips Pierce? It doesn't have the same ring to it as Hot Lips Houlihan." She put her arms around his neck and looked him into the eyes. "I guess Hot Lips is retired. And so, is Hawkeye?" He grinned. "Whatever you say. You outrank me." They shared another kiss. "Well, we have to get going. Erin and I have a plane to catch. Congratulations you too. I couldn't be happier for the two of you."
Time passed after arriving back from the conference. Benjamin retired from his practice. His secretary, Leslie, couldn't be happier. She just found out that her and her husband were going to be parents. And they were moving to another city. "Doctor Pierce. It has been a great honor working here. I hope that you and your new wife have a long happy marriage. Are you planning on having any kids?" He laughed. "Just one. A chihuahua named Ferret Face." She giggled. "Well, if you're ever in San Francisco. Come by for a visit and meet our new baby." Pierce stopped her from leaving. "Did you say San Francisco?" She nodded. He chuckled. "I know a great pair of Doctors in Mill Valley. Tell them I said hello." She waved goodbye. Margaret came in. "Patient of yours? She looks awfully young." He smiled. "No, just my ex-secretary. I'm retiring and she is moving to San Francisco with her husband. She going to start a new life there with a new baby."
"Well, I'm going to start a new life here with my husband and a chihuahua. She held up a small animal carrier. Inside was a puppy. Hawkeye bent down to look inside. "Would you look at that. It's Frank Burns but in puppy form." He waved at the puppy then kissed his new wife. "I think we are going to live happily ever after." Margaret noticed a notebook sitting on his desk. She lifted it up and started going through the pages. "Honey, what is this?" Hawkeye turn ed around and say she had his diary. "That." he said. "When we were in the MASH I would write to my dad. Now that he's gone, I still write to him." She smiled. "I have one more letter to write." He picked up his pen. "Dear Dad. I'm writing you for what might be the last time. You would be happy to hear that I finally got married to my true love Maragret. You are now the great grandfather of a Furbay, Ferret Face. The next time you hear from me will be face to face but until then. I'm happy. Say hello to mom for me. Your no longer single son, Hawkeye."
This is dedicated to the actors and crew that created the 4077th. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing. Sorry for the long story. The ending in stone.
Goodbye