Disclaimer: Ranma is the property of Rumiko Takahashi. This story is a work of fiction created for entertainment purposes only. I do not own the characters or original storylines.

I only own the OCs.

It was a typical morning in Nerima, if Nerima ever had anything resembling typical. Screams echoed down the streets. Loud, angry, and most definitely female.

"GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE MONSTER!"

"You pervert!! I just bought those!!"

"HE'S GOT MINE TOO—AFTER HIM!!"

A literal stampede of furious women charged down the block, broomsticks, rolling pins, mop handles, and even a tennis racket or two raised high like torches in a mob. In the center of their fury was the cause of all this chaos: a tiny, ancient man with an oversized sack strapped to his back. He was leaping from rooftop to rooftop, cackling like a goblin.

"Fufufufufu! Such lovely treasures this time! Youthful, delicate—perfect! I could just weep!" Happosai declared, hugging the bulging sack to his chest as he bounced to the next building like a demented flea. A pair of pink polka-dot panties slipped from the opening of the sack and fluttered into the air behind him like a flag of victory.

From the Tendou dojo not far off, the commotion pierced through the peace of the morning. A certain pigtailed martial artist narrowed his eyes.

Ranma Saotome stood on the edge of the roof, arms crossed, mouth twitching in growing irritation. "Tch. Freakin' old letch," Ranma muttered under his breath.

He didn't have to look to know what was going on. There was only one person in all of Nerima who could cause this kind of uproar first thing in the morning. And, of course, that person was supposed to be grounded after the last stunt he'd pulled, but he never listens.

Ranma cracked his knuckles. "Guess I gotta take out the trash again." With that, he leapt from the roof and took off in pursuit, bounding across rooftops with agility and speed.

Happosai, of course, noticed the shift in the air, and the furious aura rapidly approaching from behind. He looked back with wide eyes.

"Oh-ho? Is that my dear Ranma coming to see this poor old man?" Happosai snickered. "Don't worry, I saved something special just for you!"

Ranma wasn't amused. "You ain't gonna be laughing in a second, you sick old gremlin!"

He closed the gap fast. Happosai tried to throw a smoke bomb, but Ranma kicked it back mid-air like a soccer ball, sending the explosion right into Happosai's face.

BOOM!

"GYAH—MY EYES! CURSE YOU, RANMA!"

Ranma didn't let up. With a swift spin, he drove his heel into Happosai's back and launched him downward.

The old pervert let out a high-pitched yelp as he spiraled through the air, slamming into the street in front of the angry mob of women like a meteorite. His sack burst open on impact, and a cascade of undergarments flew into the air and rained down upon the already furious crowd.

For one, long moment… there was silence. Then all hell broke loose.

"You little creep!!"

"THAT'S MINE! I recognize the lace!"

"How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

The women descended on Happosai like a pack of wolves on raw meat. Dust flew up as feet stomped, broom handles whacked, and bags swung with the full fury of womanly vengeance.

"STOP HITTING ME, I'M OLD!" Happosai pleaded, crawling in a feeble attempt to escape. "I have brittle bones! My body isn't what it used to—WAAUGH!"

A high heel caught him in the ribs. Another girl grabbed his ankle and dragged him back into the storm of fists and fury.

From a nearby light post, Ranma perched with a satisfied smirk on his face. "Serves you right, old freak," he said, then yawned and stretched. "Now maybe I can get to school without dealin' with your pervy junk for once."

He dropped to the sidewalk and dusted off his pants, only to realize that school's about to start. "Oh crap. I'll be late!"

Without another word, he took off down the street at breakneck speed, leaping over fences and sprinting across narrow walls like a circus acrobat. 'Dang it, why didn't Akane wait for me? Stupid tomboy!' he thought mid-jump.

His stomach growled, reminding him that his hurried breakfast was not nearly enough for a growing martial artist. Suddenly, he noticed a splash of water falling from a balcony above.

Ranma twisted mid-air with a gasp, but it was too late.

SPLOOSH!

Now a red-haired girl with soaking clothes and an angry glare, Ranma groaned. "Dang it! Why is it always cold water?!"

A voice cackled from behind a curtain above. "Oops! So sorry! I was watering my petunias!"

Ranma shook herself like a wet cat. "Yeah, sure ya were, grandma…" She sighed and kept running.

Time passed, and it was already dinnertime at the Tendo Dojo. The long, low table was covered in plates and bowls, filled with everything from grilled fish to steaming rice and miso soup.

Ranma was seated cross-legged next to Akane, stuffing his face like a vacuum cleaner.

"Oi! Slow down, Ranma!" Akane snapped, elbowing him lightly. "You'll choke."

"Don't blame me! I didn't get lunch thanks to Kuno's 'Elimination challenge' again!" Ranma muttered with his mouth full, slurping down the last of his soup.

Across the table, Genma-panda scribbled something on his signboard with practiced flair, [You lack discipline, boy!]

"Can it, pop." Ranma grumbled. "I had more discipline than you ever did. I didn't roll around all day and call it 'training.'"

The familiar sounds of clinking dishes and soft conversation filled the room. One spot remained noticeably empty yet no one asked why, and honestly, no one minded that the old pervert was not around.

Meanwhile, deep in the alleyways, Happosai limped through the shadows, his pride battered more than his wrinkled body. Bandages dotted his scalp where angry mobs of women had unleashed their fury that morning.

"That brat…" he hissed, kicking a pebble down the road. "The nerve. The disrespect! I'll teach him a lesson he won't forget!"

He hobbled faster, eyes burning with a hypocritical righteous fury. Then a grin crept over his face as something sparked in the back of his memory.

"Ahhh… That box! The one I borrowed from Cologne!" He snickered and darted into a side alley, scampering like a gremlin. A few minutes later, he was back at the Tendo residence, slipping through an open second-floor window like a shadow. No one saw him enter.

He went straight inside his room, which was piled with stolen trinkets and underwear, Happosai dropped to his knees and began rummaging frantically. "Where is it… where is it… AH-HA!"

He yanked out a lacquered wooden box, its edges marked with faint Amazonian glyphs, and inside sat a white, round crystal. Happosai's evil grin reflected on the smooth, gleaming surface as it pulsated faintly with a subtle rhythm. "Ooooooh…" Happosai crooned, eyes sparkling like a child on New Year's Day. "I knew this was special! That old hag's been hiding all sorts of goodies from me!"

He rummaged through his stash again, pulling out a crumbling old manual. "Let's see... something something... Crystal." He squinted at the faded text. "Ah, who cares about the name! Where's the good stuff?"

His gnarled finger traced the instructions as his eyes continued down the texts. "One strand of hair from the target... place in the crystal under moonlight... near a chosen woman... it completes by dawn…" He paused, scratching his head in confusion.

"Why's a woman needed?... who cares. If this thing turns that insolent brat into a snot-nosed toddler, I'll finally be free! No more smart-mouth brat. Just a sniffling weakling with no choice but to obey his elder!"

The image was so glorious, he began to giggle like a schoolboy. That night, when the Tendo household had quieted and everyone was tucked into bed, Happosai crept down the hallway like a thief.

He approached Ranma and Genma's shared room. Upon entering, he saw the panda-Genma sprawled on the floor, snoring like a buzzsaw, while Ranma layed face-down in his futon, muttering "Stupid tomboy…" before flipping onto his side.

Happosai snickered quietly as he tiptoed forward and reached down with trembling fingers, plucking a single black hair from Ranma's head. The boy twitched but didn't wake. "Sweet dreams, Ranma…" Happosai whispered, holding up the hair triumphantly.

He then placed the strand on the round crystal. As soon as the strand touched it, a flash of white light pulsed outward, and the strand vanished into the crystal's core.

Now came the final step. Creeping once more through the darkened hallway, Happosai arrived at Akane's bedroom. He had chosen her out of all the sisters not only because she was a martial artist, but also because she was the closest. Plus, he reasoned slyly, if things went awry, she could handle it, and if not, he had the ever-reliable Ranma to swoop in and fix any blunders along the way.

Quiet as a mouse, he slid open the door and slipped inside. Akane slept with her face mashed into her pillow, her arm dangling off the futon. A gentle snore escaped her nose, unflattering but oddly endearing.

As much as he wants to snuggle with dear Akane, he steeled his mind and focus on his revenge. Happosai tiptoed to her nightstand and carefully placed the crystal on the surface. Then he tugged the curtain to allow a beam of moonlight to fall directly onto it. The light hit the crystal, and for a moment, nothing happened.

Then faint tendrils of shimmering white light extended from the crystal, reaching toward Akane like searching fingers.

Happosai blinked. "...Huh?."

He rubbed his eyes, but when he looked again, the tendrils were gone. "Must be my imagination..." he muttered. He scampered back to his room with glee, hugging his pillow as he curled up into his pile of stolen underwear.

"Oh, this is going to be fun!" he whispered, already picturing a tiny Ranma crying because his fish was stolen. He drifted off into blissful dreams of revenge. But the truth, as always, was not what he expected.

What Happosai didn't know or what he couldn't have known from skipping most of the manual was that the White Crystal wasn't a cursed item at all. It wasn't designed to regress someone to childhood. Instead, it was an ancient Amazon artifact used by family heads to test martial compatibility between potential partners, and to determine the strength of their future offspring. It was used to prevent mistakes of siring a weak heir.

As dawn approached, a soft wind drifted through the Tendo Dojo. And in Akane's room, the crystal on her nightstand shimmered one last time, a gentle white glow suffusing the room.

Then, without a sound, it crumbled into fine dust as its purpose fulfilled.