After the hug, Zuko pulls Aang and I to the side. He says, "I'm going to teach you something to help take down my father. Zia, I'll need your help, too."
Aang rushes away to go talk to Katara, but I look at Zuko. "What are you going to teach him?"
"He needs to know how to redirect lightning. Just like Azula, my father can generate lightning. He needs to be prepared on how to defend against it. I want your help."
"I've never redirected lightning before."
"I have."
"When?" I remember the mountain, and him taking the ostrich horse to get shot at by the sky during a thunderstorm. I remember him coming back, dejected. He hadn't redirected lightning then, had he?
"On the day of the ellipse. Against my father."
It doesn't surprise me that Ozai shot lightning at Zuko, but it pains me to think about it. That a father could do something terrible to their son. Granted, that same father burned his face, so nothing holds Ozai back.
"I can help." I touch Zuko's hand and squeeze it.
Slowly, slowly, slowly, hidden beneath the surface, I started to trust Zuko more. And forgive him, just a little, about what he did. It was the words of all those around me, and their actions of trusting Zuko, despite everything that he's done. I didn't see it, this trust, until here, now, touching his hand.
I let go, and the three of us walk around to the courtyard. Katara sits on the steps again with Momo. Zuko, Aang, and I are standing to the side of the courtyard, facing each other.
Zuko says, "There's one technique you need to know before facing my father - how to redirect lightning." Zuko moves a little bit aways from us and uses his finger to show the energy flow, just like Iroh did. "If you let the energy in your own body flow, the lightning will follow it. You turn your opponent's energy against them."
I do the movements too, mirroring Zuko. Aang is excited, despite the gravity of his situation. "That's like waterbending!" he says. He follows Zuko's movements, practicing the motions.
"Exactly," Zuko says, still moving.
"Iroh invented this technique by studying waterbenders. He said it was important to blend the techniques of different bending styles, like the Avatar," I say.
We continue moving back and forth, flowing the energy, until Aang asks, "So, have you ever redirected lightning before?"
"Once, against my father."
"What did it feel like?"
Zuko stops practicing the form to look at Aang, and we both stop. "Exhilarating, but terrifying. You feel so powerful holding that much energy in your body, but you know if you make the wrong move, it's over."
"Well, not over over. I mean, there's always Katara and a little Spirit Water action, am I right?" Aang turns toward Katara as he poses this question.
Her answer isn't what Aang expects. "Actually, I used it all up after Azula shot you."
Aang deflates and lets out a small "oh".
"You'll have to take the Fire Lord's life before he takes yours," Zuko says.
"Yeah, I'll just do that," Aang says. Zuko walks away, but I sense the larger issue within Aang so I hang back.
I put my hand on his arm and say, "You can't kill him any more than Katara could kill that guy, can you?"
"No. I don't think I can kill him."
"Is there any hidden Avatar techniques that you know of that could like, put him to sleep forever?" Aang looks at me and smiles, but it is so full of sadness. He shakes his head. "Hmm. We'll think of something."
While I may have strayed from the Air Nomad beliefs and path, Aang hasn't. This is going to be so complicated for him. The weight of the world rests on his shoulders, but he can't bring himself to kill one evil man for the safety of the rest of the world.
We take a brief break to have lunch, then Zuko throws Aang straight back into mastering the form of redirecting lightning. I leave them alone, because I don't know how to tell Zuko that Aang can't kill Ozai. That that was never a possibility. No matter what terrible things Ozai has done or will do, Aang can't kill him.
I spend the rest of the day in the playroom, airing the room out, and thinking. Thinking about a way for Aang to save the world and still have his beliefs. But I can't find the solution any more than anyone else can. If I was the Avatar, and I was stuck between following my beliefs or saving the world (and the millions of people there), I would save the world. It's a no brainer. I think the rest of the Air Nomads would agree.
But, who says that Aang has to follow the no-killing rule if it's the lives of millions of people versus one super crazy guy? I think the Air Nomads would have looked the other way if they were still here. Granted, I gave up my no-killing rule when I couldn't survive on a boat for a few weeks on kelp, or out in the wilds of the Earth Kingdom on edible berries and plants.
Aang's role as the Avatar is to keep the world in balance. If the entirety of the Earth Kingdom is killed, the world is put even further into imbalance. But, if Aang kills the Fire Lord, he is the one living example of an airbender. Breaking that rule would tarnish a giant rule of non-violence, showing the rest of the world what an airbender chooses to do when faced with this level of violence.
It's one thing for me to kill; I haven't been able to bend since coming out of the ice. Nobody sees me and thinks "airbender". But it's another thing for Aang to kill; he's the last airbender. He will be building a legacy on violence and wouldn't be able to preach non-violence when the whole world knows what he did to Ozai.
Zuko finds me before dinner in the playroom, sitting in a mediation pose, thinking these things. He doesn't ask me what I'm doing, but says, "Sokka wants everyone outside. He's got a battle plan?"
"Why do you say that like a question?" I ask, standing up and following him. I grab my bo on the way out.
"Because no battle with my father is going to go like what Sokka plans."
"Makes sense. Sokka doesn't really give off 'evil Fire Lord' vibes." Zuko laughs, and we arrive at the back of the house. Everyone is mildly confused as we follow Sokka a little bit aways from the house, at a ridge that looks like a volcano carved part of it, which it probably did. All the Fire Nation islands were created by volcanoes or have active volcanoes.
Sokka stands in front of a scarecrow made with tattered sheets he found in the house, along with a watermelon head. It's almost comical, if it weren't for the looming threat of the comet and the fresh memories of the play.
"Gather around, Team Avatar. In order to take out the Fire Lord - or, in this case, the Melon Lord - our timing has to be perfect," Sokka says, kneeling down on the ground and drawing with a stick. He starts to draw out his battle plan in the dirt. "First, Suki, Zia, and I will draw his fire. Then, Katara and Zuko charge in with some liquidy hot offense, and while the Melon Lord is distracted, Aang swoops in and bam!" Here Sokka crosses through the Melon Lord symbol he drew at the top. "He delivers the final blow."
"Uh, what about me?" Toph asks. She looks excited, like the idea of a fight is her perfect day.
"For now, you're the Melon Lord's forces."
"So, I get to chuck flaming rocks at all of you?" Oh, yeah, she's way too into this.
"Whatever makes the training feel more realistic."
"Sweetness."
Toph takes to the role as easily as the fire to the tar covered rocks. She laughs manically. Everyone moves into place, waiting for Sokka's signal. He stands in front of Suki and I, dressed in Water Tribe warrior garb. He's even got the wolf helmet and everything. It's pretty cool as far as battle gear goes.
He waves his hand forward, and Suki and I are off running, Sokka right behind us. Toph throws her first attack at us, which is earth made Fire Nation soldiers, fit with the mask plates and everything. Sokka cuts the one in front of him down with his meter sword, and Suki kicks hers down, not breaking stride. I slam my bo into the rock, worried briefly that it will crack. However, the rock crumbles against the staff, falling to the side.
Toph throws a flaming boulder at us, and I move to the side. Suki flips over it once it lands, but Sokka is almost crushed by the thing.
"Watch it, Toph!" Sokka yells.
Still deep in the character, Toph yells, "I am not Toph. I am Melon Lord!" She throws more boulders at us, even launching a few behind us at Katara and Zuko.
After a few more bouts against the rock soldiers, Sokka signals to Aang. I see Aang fly at the "Melon Lord" scarecrow, but he can't kill him, even in this pretend battle. I see how dejected Aang is, head bowed, air staff to the side of him.
"What are you waiting for?" Zuko yells. "Take him out!"
Aang shakes his head, mumbling, "I can't."
The fight dies around us as we watch Sokka approach Aang, asking, "What's wrong with you? If this was the real deal, you'd be shot full of lightning right now!"
"I'm sorry, but it just didn't feel right. I didn't feel like myself," Aang says. Aang embodies everything about the Air Nomads. He holds the last of a line of people within himself, and a legacy after that. He holds the future of the world on himself too, but what is that future if you do not follow your own beliefs and feelings?
Sokka doesn't understand this as he slices the Melon Lord's head off without looking. "There! That's how it's done."
At dinner, Aang sits away from everyone and doesn't touch his meal. I sit next to him and whisper, "I know what you think. I know why you can't kill the Fire Lord."
Aang doesn't look at me and shakes his head. "How can you know?"
While his comment stings a little, I shake my head. "No, Aang, I know why you hesitate to kill Ozai, even a dumb scarecrow made to look like him. You are the last airbender, so how can you stop a war and create a legacy for the rest of the airbenders by destroying a core belief? By killing, sure, you save the world, but you are beginning a new generation of airbenders based on the fact that you killed someone."
Aang looks up at me sharply, and I can see I hit the nail on the head, even if he didn't quite know how to voice his issues. "You can't kill Ozai, sure, but you also can't let him kill the entire Earth Kingdom. There has to be some middle ground you can find, right?" He nods, and I see him smile at me. "It's not a solution, but it's somewhere to start."
I stand and take my dinner over next to Suki. Katara shows up a little bit after that, saying, "I have a surprise for everyone!" She's holding a scroll.
"I knew it! You did have a secret thing with Haru!" Toph says. She's smiling, but nobody understands what she's talking about.
"Haru? Like, the goateed earthbender at the Western Air Temple?" I ask, confused.
"Uh, no," Katara says. "I was looking for cooking pots in the attic, and I found this!" She unravels a scroll, and there's a baby playing in the sand at the beach. "Look at baby Zuko. Isn't he cute?"
I don't know who that baby is, but I know that it wasn't Zuko. Briefly, I looked at a picture of kid Zuko, sans scar, and that kid isn't it. "That isn't Zuko," I say, through everyone's laughter.
"Yeah, that's not me. It's my father," Zuko says. Katara rolls up the scroll, everyone staring awkwardly.
"But he looks so sweet and innocent," Sokka says.
"Well, that sweet little kid grew up to be a monster, and the worst father in the history of fathers."
"But he's still a human being," Aang says. Aang doesn't turn to look at us.
"You're going to defend him?"
"No, I agree with you," Aang says, standing. "Fire Lord Ozai is a horrible person, and the world would probably be better off without him, but there's got to be another way."
"Like what?"
"I don't know." An idea strikes Aang, and he perks up a little. "Maybe we can make some big pots of glue, and then I can use gluebending to stick his arms and legs together so he can't bend anymore."
"Yeah, then you can show him his baby pictures, and all those happy memories will make him good again." Sokka and Suki laugh.
"Do you really think that would work?"
"No!" Zuko yells, and Aang heaves a dejected sigh and hangs his head.
Aang starts pacing, talking us through his thoughts. Dinner is long forgotten. "This goes against everything I learned from the monks. I can't just go around wiping out people I don't like."
"Sure you can," Sokka says. "You're the Avatar. If it's in the name of keeping balance, I'm pretty sure the universe will forgive you."
"Sokka, this isn't about just keeping balance for the present. It's also about balance for the future," I say. "If Aang kills Ozai, then he is starting the legacy of Air Nomads on the base of killing is okay, but only if. That only if can lead to a lot of bad things."
"This isn't a joke, Sokka! None of you understand the position I'm in!" Aang says, losing his temper.
"Aang, we do understand. It's just. . ."
"Just what, Katara? What?"
"We're trying to help!" Katara yells back.
"Then, when you figure out a way for me to beat the Fire Lord without taking his life, I'd love to hear it!" Aang walks away.
"Aang, don't walk away from this!" Katara starts to follow Aang, but Zuko puts a hand on her shoulder.
"Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself," Zuko says. Zuko comes from a place of understanding, from taking his own time to sort it out himself. Like when he left Iroh and I in the middle of the Earth Kingdom, or when he yelled at a storm to strike him with lightning.
We finish our dinner in silence, no one daring to discuss what just happened.
It's a long night.
Sometime in the middle of the night, I wake up to a faint chanting, a chorus of men urging me to sea. I look out the window, but only see a faint outline of the trees and Momo flying around. I sleep fitfully after that.