thank you as always for reading/reviewing!
this is a chapter i think we've all been waiting for. hope i did it justice.
enjoy xoxo
disclaimer: I own nothing.
She wakes with a powerful pain going from her back to between her hips that causes her to scream, both in discomfort and in panic. She's blinded by the feeling and doesn't realize Jess is right in front of her, crouched in front of her face, until it eventually passes. She opens her eyes and realizes she fell asleep during the movie, as she's lying sideways on the couch in the living room. Jess is still in front of her, trying to talk to her, but her head is a flurry. As she goes to move her body, she finds that she's soaking wet between and under her legs. Her eyes snap to Jess finally.
"Jess, oh my god, what's happening?" she shouts as her eyes fill with tears, "am I bleeding?! I just woke up in all this pain, and I feel all wet and I don't want to look -"
"Rory," Jess says, and even though it's not the first time he's said it, it's the first time she's heard it. She grimaces harder at the soft look on his face, assuming that it means the worst.
"What's wrong with me?"
"Hey, Rory. Look at me," he says more sternly this time, and she listens. He puts both hands on her face to keep her from losing focus again. She finally notices a beautiful, small smile on his face.
"You are not bleeding. You're okay," he nods and holds her steady with eye contact, "your water broke while you were sleeping."
She gasps and he lets her turn her head to look down at herself.
"Oh god, on the couch?! We just got this couch!"
"You didn't wake up right away," he continues, ignoring her comment, "so I got up and started getting things ready. I got the hospital bag, the car is running and AC is on. I packed a bag for myself, and I grabbed us some books and snacks in case you're allowed to eat."
She slowly turns back to face him, and he clocks the nervous look in her eyes immediately; he holds his hands to her face again and gently massages her jaw.
"I'm in labor," she states quietly after a moment of silence. As that finally clicks in her head, she blinks and sits up straight, "oh my god I'm in labor!"
Jess stands up with no urgency, conveying as much calm as he can in the situation.
"It's okay, take your time. We don't need to rush."
At that moment, she bends forward in half as another contraction shoots through her. He kneels down in front of her again and takes her hands.
"It hurts," she whines, squeezing hard against his palms and fingers.
"Take it out on me, just like that. There you go," he mutters words to her until she's quiet again, "all done with that one? You okay?"
She takes quick breaths until she can breathe easily again and sits up to look at him. She nods, eyes shooting down to her wet lap and then back at him.
"I want to shower before we go."
"Okay," with an encouraging smile, he stands up and pulls her carefully with him, "come on, I'll walk you there."
"I think I can walk," she mumbles, but she laces her arm around his waist anyway.
"I think you can too, but I want to walk with you."
She doesn't argue, and he guides her to the bathroom down the hallway. He turns on the lights and leans into the shower to turn the water on too.
"Do you want help with your clothes?"
She stares back at him for a moment in a sort of daze; once she shakes herself out of it, she declines.
"No, thank you. I can do it."
"Okay, I'm going to go get you some water and some clothes to change into. Do you know what you want to wear to the hospital?"
That word alone sends a shiver of anxious nervousness through her. He cocks his head.
"Um," she mumbles, "stretchy stuff."
He looks her over, and though he can read how on edge she's feeling, he doesn't call attention to it. He simply nods and kisses her face before leaving the room.
"Okay, shower," she mumbles to herself, trying to stay in the moment. Her clothes are peeled off her body by her own hands, but she can hardly register the movements. She catches herself in the mirror before stepping into the shower, and the look of her ghostlike skin makes her even more nervous. Her body is about to go through something it's never done before, and this is the thought that plagues her throughout the entirety of her shower. It's an intense fact to be faced with; she fixates on it as she scrubs between her legs, as she rubs a loofah over her belly and under her heavy breasts. She challenges this intimidating fact by reminding herself that her body has been preparing for this all along: the state of all of her parts is proof of that. With a deep breath, she sinks herself carefully to the floor of the tub, the shower head raining above her and all over her. She closes her eyes and grabs on to the side of the bath as she forces herself to breathe more purposefully. Yet as soon as she feels herself almost relaxing, another contraction storms through her.
"Jess!" she yells, fingers scratching against the porcelain of the bath tub under her hands. The bathroom door swings open, and he rips the curtain back. She turns her head towards him, face scrunched up and eyes watering again. He immediately bends down to her height, prying her hand off the tub to hold in his. His other hand enters the stream of shower water to rub her back in support.
"I'm here, I'm right here for you. I won't be more than ten feet from you until this baby comes, I swear it, Rory."
Once again, he mumbles to her throughout the episode. When the pain stops rolling through her, she opens her eyes and finds he's staring into hers already.
"I want to go to the hospital."
He nods repeatedly, "I know, baby. Let's get you out of this shower and into some clothes and we will be on our way."
He turns off the water; he helps her out and dries her off. He runs a towel over her wet hair and hands her a hair tie to put it up when she asks.
"I didn't get a chance to pick out clothes for you, so let's go to the bedroom."
She follows him wordlessly to their room where a fresh basket of laundry is on the bed. He rummages through it, lying clothes out on the bed as he goes, until she speaks up.
"Those leggings," she points to a pair of stretchy black pants on the bed and then turns to him with a shy look, "and one of your shirts."
He pauses to think about that with a sweet smile on his face.
"You want one that smells like me?"
She smiles, and he knows it's the first one since she woke up. As he happily obliges, pulling a t-shirt from his drawer and spraying it with cologne, he hears her gasp. His face drops and he spins around to see her having another contraction, body bent over the bed and legs twisting in discomfort. He jumps to her side and though her position doesn't give him much of an opportunity to help, he finds a way. He presses his thumbs into her lower back, pushing and massaging to hopefully help alleviate some of the pain. She arches her back slightly, and groans out between labored breaths,
"Keep doing that."
"I got you. You're doing great."
After a good minute, she bends and rests on her forearms against the soft bed. He slows his thumbs and asks,
"How are you?"
"Exhausted already," she mumbles against the bed. She pushes herself up and adds, "my back hurts so bad."
He gazes over her nude form, without any sexual angle but rather trying to figure out how else to help. She stands up with a deep breath.
"Stay like that," he mutters and stands behind her, "lean back into me."
She leans her head back against his shoulder, and at the same time his hands go to the bottom of her stomach. Ever so gently, he lifts up and with it comes a flood of relief for her. She moans loudly and melts even more in his arms.
"Oh my god I love you. I want to have your babies."
He kisses behind her ear.
"Think that's how we got in this situation in the first place."
"Please don't stop."
He kisses again and mumbles, "we should head to the hospital."
"Just a little longer like this."
He listens, and they end up staying in that position until another contraction comes. She yelps and turns in his arms, gripping on hard to his shoulders as she rides it out. He holds on tight to her too, hands holding and rubbing her hips. Once it ends, he states with subdued urgency,
"Rory…these are under six minutes apart."
Her wide eyes find his.
"We have to go."
He nods, "are you okay? Can you stand long enough to get dressed? I'll help you."
"Yes yes let's hurry, oh my god. I don't want to give birth here Jess, I'll be traumatized. We would have to move again!"
He grabs her underwear and pants, and crouches down in front of her to help her dress.
"You're not going to give birth here it's okay. Step in, there you go. Okay, shirt shirt shirt. Got it. Arms up."
"It doesn't usually move this quickly with the first baby," Rory exclaims, and he hears panic building in her tone, "I had some contractions yesterday, but they were so minimal and far apart, I thought nothing of it."
He puts his hand at the small of her back and ushers her towards the front door.
"Oh my god," she gasps as he helps her put slippers on. His eyes snap up to her in concern.
"do you think it's because I got a massage yesterday? Or do you think it's because we had sex?! Did we like push her out?"
The suggestion doesn't make him laugh because she seems serious about it; he stands up, shouldering the prepacked bags and grabbing a house key.
"I don't think that's what happened, but we can ask the doctor when we see her if you want. Come on, let's get on the road before you have another one, okay?"
She swallows and nods and is soon waddling out to the car next to him. He helps her inside and buckles her seatbelt, then he quickly throws their stuff in the back seat, gets up front and soon they are on the road.
Rory fidgets in the passenger seat, silent but tapping her nails on the car door and shaking a leg furiously. Her other hand holds the collar of the shirt she's wearing close to her nose, inhaling Jess's scent, searching for comfort. She sees a jeep as they come up to a light and she turns to him abruptly.
"Did you tell mom and Luke?"
To her surprise, he nods.
"I called Lorelai when your water broke. I told them not to rush but that we would be heading to the hospital soon."
"How did you know my water broke?"
"I've been with you a long time and you've never wet yourself by accident before."
She blushes, and asks with hesitancy, "but how did you even notice?"
He runs a hand through his hair before hitting the gas as the light turns green.
"You fell asleep with your legs in my lap."
She covers her face and groans, "my water broke on you and the couch!?"
"It happens."
"No, it doesn't!"
"It's okay, Rory. It's nothing to even give another thought to. There are more important things -"
He doesn't get to finish his sentence as a loud moan fills the car, and out of the corner of his eye he sees her bent forward with both hands on the dashboard.
"Shit," he mumbles and shoots a hand out to try and soothe her, "it's okay, we're almost there. I'm going to put my lights on and speed as soon as this contraction is over, okay? As soon as you're in a safer position."
As the pain drives through her, she pounds a fist against the dashboard. Jess cringes from the driver's seat because he knows there's nothing he can do to fix it, he just keeps rubbing circles on her back as they get closer to the hospital.
"It hurts so much worse than I thought," she whimpers as it finally stops. He grimaces but holds his strength up for her.
"We're almost at the hospital, and the doctor has your birth plan, so she knows you want an epidural. It's going to be okay, Rory. Can you sit back so I can go faster?"
With a groan she pushes off the dashboard and sits back in her seat, her hands immediately rest on her stomach. He hits the button to turn the flashers on, sticks an arm out in front of Rory, and puts the gas pedal to the floor.
They arrive in less than five minutes, and he's never been more grateful to see a valet service in his life. He pulls up and jumps out of the car, running to the passenger side to help her out.
"Put your arm around my neck, that's it. Alright. Let's take it slow."
"The bags," she murmurs to him.
"Fuck, okay. Hold on."
He leaves her leaning against the car and grabs them from where they sit in the back seat next to the car seat he installed weeks ago. Just as he shuts the door, he hears the telltale sounds of another contraction and finds her crouching down on the ground.
"Oh Rory," he mumbles, dropping the bags and kneeling down to her height, "we're so close, it's okay. Just get through this one."
"Do you want a wheelchair?" a valet employee asks somewhere nearby.
"Yes," he replies quickly without looking away from Rory. As the contraction subsidies, she looks up at him with tears streaming down her face, and he almost laughs when she says,
"I don't need a wheelchair."
He holds her arms and helps her stand up slowly. He replies kindly, "humor me. Please. Let me feel like I'm helping."
She concedes and sits down in the open wheelchair. He picks the bags up off the ground, shouldering them both on one side, and starts pushing her towards the place where she's going to have their baby.
She loses track of the number of people they have to talk to, and the paperwork that needs to be filled out, but she definitely feels the next three contractions that she has during that timeframe. Finally, she's ushered to a room where she changes into a gown and gets somewhat settled in a bed. A nurse enters the room seconds later, and Jess immediately bombards her,
"Hi. She wants an epidural, she's in a lot of pain. Her contractions are a little over five minutes apart. Can you give her one now?"
"We will get her one as soon as possible, we're just waiting for her doctor to get here. She should be here any minute."
Rory frowns and looks at Jess who turns back to the nurse and pushes again.
"Why does she have to wait? It's in her birth plan which we provided the doctor with, you should have that. Please, she's really hurting."
The nurse gives them both a sympathetic smile and says, "as soon as the doctor is here. Can I get you anything else while you wait? Water?"
"No thanks," Rory responds in a quiet mumble, and Jess hears her voice shake slightly.
"I'm sorry, Rory. I called her as soon as your water broke, I don't know why she's not here yet."
"It's not your fault," she manages to flash him a small smile, but it drops when she's met with one of his intense looks.
"How are you? Other than in pain," he asks and reaches out to hold her hand on the bed, "are you scared?"
She takes a trembling breath – because she still can't and won't ever lie to him and is preparing herself to confess her fears when the doctor finally shows up.
"I'm so sorry, I was home alone with my own kids tonight and had to make quick arrangements," the doctor explains with an apologetic smile. She steps up to the bed with a nurse behind her, "how are you doing, Rory? You ready for some pain management?"
"Yes," she answers quickly, "please."
Jess squeezes her hand, easily hearing the distress in her voice.
"Okay, another nurse is coming with the epidural. I'm going to take a look and see where we're at, okay?"
Rory shifts around as directed, but keeps her eyes closed and tries to focus on her breathing as she waits for any information.
"You're already six centimeters dilated, Rory, which means you're in active labor," the doctor explains, and Rory opens her eyes to see the doctor smiling at her, "congratulations."
She swallows and shares a look with Jess, he reads her thoughts and turns to the doctor.
"What does that mean for her?"
"It means that you two could meet your daughter in as soon as a few hours, depending on how quickly she progresses."
"But she can still get the epidural, right?"
"Yes, as long as she can sit still, she can get one," the doctor moves from the foot of the bed to stand at Rory's side, "don't worry, we'll make it as painless as we can, Rory. You're doing great already."
That allows her to breathe a little bit, and she asks, "is it okay that it's a week earlier than her due date? That feels unusual."
"It is pretty unusual for a first born, but it's not unsafe or unnatural. Remember I told you at your last appointment that there's always the chance she comes at 38 or 39 weeks," she pats Rory on the shoulder, "I guess she didn't want to wait to meet you two."
Jess smiles softly and catches a small grin on Rory's face that brings him some calm. A nurse walks in then. He steps out of the way and watches as they get her numbed up, and he only cringes slightly as he sees a needle go into her back.
"Very good, Rory," the doctor praises, "it will take a few minutes at least to kick in, but then you shouldn't feel much from now until birth. There will still be pressure and discomfort, maybe even a little bit of pain, but it won't be as bad as before. If it is, let us know right away and we can try to fix it. Don't move too much, just relax, let Jess take care of you, and we will be back to check on you every so often. Any questions?"
Rory shakes her head, "thank you."
"Can she eat?" Jess asks before the doctor leaves. She shrugs a shoulder.
"Some snacks if she's hungry. It's an old idea that you can't eat with an epidural, but just to be extra cautious, no meals. You can and should drink plenty of water though. The nurse will bring you some."
"Okay, thanks doc."
"Sure, see you guys soon."
The room clears except for the two of them; her hand is in his again, and he looks over her with a gentle gaze. Sitting in a hospital gown in the middle of the night, face still sticky from the tears she previously cried during contractions; it gives the impression that she's fragile and on the verge of breaking. But he knows that it's the complete opposite of that.
"Feeling better?" he mumbles, drawing her attention to him. Her blues are dark and wide, she just barely gives him a hint of a smile.
"So far so good," she replies, and the possibility of a smile vanishes as she states, "six centimeters is pretty close to ten."
He surveys her face, "just a little over halfway there."
She bites her lip and leans her head back against the pillow on the bed.
"I think I'm having another contraction. It doesn't hurt. Just feels like…pressure in my hips."
He lifts her hand up to his mouth to press a soft kiss there.
"That's good," he mumbles against her. After a minute she drops her hand from her stomach and sits forward to take her damp hair out of a bun. He watches as she brushes fingers through it and tugs on her lip before saying,
"Jess. Can you brush my hair? I hate when it air dries without being brushed."
He looks at her almost in disbelief, but as her big eyes meet his again, he can read her desperation for normalcy. Wanting to ease her nerves, he smiles gently and nods.
"Of course," he places another kiss to her hand and then turns to the bag they packed to find the brush, "anything else?"
She bites her lip in thought, "I should have a small makeup bag in there. Can you give me that please?"
He nods and digs it out. He stands beside the bed and hands her the bag. She leans forward slightly, and he starts to brush her hair.
"Let me know if I'm going too hard, okay?"
"Okay," she mumbles. He takes a breath as he sees her shoulders finally relax a bit. She opens her makeup bag and starts to put products on her face, starting with her tinted moisturizer. She takes out her blush, and Jess hears her whimper. He stops brushing immediately.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
She shakes her head, "no. None of these products have a mirror! I forgot to bring pack one. How am I supposed to do this without a mirror? I just want to look normal!"
He can feel her begin to spiral as her body tenses and her chin wobbles; she holds onto her stomach like the pressure of another contraction is hitting her and he feels so deeply empathetic for her.
"I got you, baby. It's okay," he kneels down next to the bed and pulls his phone out. He turns the camera on to face her and holds it in front of her face, "better? I can do this for as long as you need."
Her features calm a little, and she nods in thanks. While brushing blush on her cheeks she asks,
"Do you think mom and Luke are okay?"
"I do. I would be worried if they were here already, it's been only about an hour since I called."
He sees her eyes water as she puts on pink lip gloss, but then she takes a steadying breath and nods. He runs a hand through her hair while he watches her.
"You're beautiful," he whispers, "and our daughter will be too. I can't wait to meet her."
Rory swallows and drops the lip gloss from her hands. She meets his eyes, concern all over her face.
"If I can get her out safely."
His heart aches for her worry, and his face melts into sympathy. He lowers the phone and holds his hands to her cheeks.
"Rory," he starts, but is interrupted by the door opening.
"I'm here, I'm here, I'm here! I made it! Did I miss anything? Please say no!" Lorelai comes stumbling into the room and rushes up to the empty side of the hospital bed. Luke walks carefully through the door after her. Rory throws her arms wide for a hug.
"Mommy!"
Lorelai gasps, "oh no, you mommy'd! It's okay honey, I'm here."
She holds Rory tight, and Jess meets her eyes over Rory's shoulder. Lorelai mouths, "Is she okay?"
He shakes his head and mouths back, "nervous wreck."
She frowns and holds her tighter.
"I'm a little scared," Rory whimpers so quietly that only Lorelai and Jess hear. His face drops completely, and he runs a nervous hand through his hair, frustration building at not knowing what to do. Lorelai shoots him a small smile.
"We're all here for you, babe. It's okay. And it looks like they've got you hooked up to the happy juice already, huh?"
She pulls back and gives Rory a big smile; Jess relaxes a little as he sees her half return it.
"Epidural is definitely helping," the smile falls to a frown as she says, "but I still need to deliver her."
Lorelai sits on the edge of the bed and pats Rory's leg, "you've got plenty of time! What are you, five centimeters?"
"Six last time they checked."
"Um, I'm going to go find some tea. Do you guys want anything?" Luke asks the room, face red from the discomfort of the conversation between mother and daughter.
"Coffee please!" Lorelai exclaims; he rolls his eyes but doesn't argue.
"Nothing for me, thanks."
"Okay, do you want to go for a walk with me?"
Rory turns sharply to Jess, and he gives her a comforting smile.
"No thanks. I'd like to stay right here if that's okay with Rory."
"Please stay," she asks quietly, "sorry Luke."
"It's okay, don't worry about me. I'll be back."
After Luke leaves the room, Lorelai turns to Rory.
"So, before the epidural, did it feel like doing the splits on a crate of dynamite?"
She doesn't get to answer, because the door swings open again. All eyes turn, expecting to see the doctor, but they are greeted by a different doctor completely.
"Paris is delivering your baby?!" Lorelai asks in disbelief, looking between Rory and her.
"Please, she would never let me that close to her vagina," Paris huffs.
"What are you doing here?" Jess asks with a raised brow, unsure how this presence is going to affect the room.
"I put a note in her file to call me when she goes into labor."
"But you're not even her doctor," he argues as she steps closer to the group.
"What don't you get about me being a big deal in this industry?" she replies quickly and turns to Rory, "how are you, Gilmore? They taking care of you?"
Rory shrugs one shoulder, "I'm fine."
"Fine? You're fine? Can you expand on that?"
"Paris," Jess mutters in warning; she ignores him.
"What's up with you? You've been so excited for this. Why are you being all…Eeyore?"
Rory grimaces as she stares at her friend for a silent moment, but Paris's look is demanding and all the fears bubble up to the surface as she exasperates,
"Because I'm scared, Paris! I'm thirty nine years old and about to give birth for the first time. So many things can go wrong and I'm freaking out, okay?! We can't all have nerves of steel like you!"
Paris blinks and looks over her friend incredulously. She steps closer to her, standing now next to Jess, and admonishes sternly,
"Get a grip, Gilmore."
"Paris," Jess growls, and Rory turns to see the infamous scowl across his face, "what the hell is wrong with you?! Don't talk to her like that!"
Paris ignores him, as only Paris can, and addresses Rory once more.
"You need to calm down or you're going to give yourself a problem. Remember we talked about this before? Stress and anxiety can be the very reason that something goes wrong. You have an epidural, you're only six centimeters dilated so you have at least a few hours to kill. Breathe and take a freaking nap. You're strong, we all know it. Your baby needs that strength to safely join this world, so harness that shit."
"That's enough," Jess bellows and this time Paris does look at him.
"Are you a doctor? Did you go to Yale and then years of medical school? Have you delivered babies before? I'm sorry, I had no idea that you were so experienced."
Rory can see he's about to go off on her and holds up a hand.
"It's okay, Jess. She's right," she looks at Paris, "you could have said it nicer, but I get it."
"That's not really how I operate," Paris crosses her arms over her chest, "seriously, now is the time to rest. Your body will thank you. And don't worry, I'm not going to be here the whole time. I just came to make sure you're getting the VIP treatment, and by the number of people they are allowing in your room at once, I know you are."
Lorelai hugs Rory to her once more before standing up, "I'll go find Luke and find the coffee. Give you some quiet time."
An anxious look crosses Rory's face, but she nods.
"Okay. Come back."
"Of course! Paris, you want to join me?"
"Sure, I'll take you to nurse's break room for the good stuff. Cafeteria coffee is crap," she turns to Rory before leaving, "you got this Gilmore."
In a moment, it's just the two of them in the room again. After hearing Paris's words, and seeing her mom finally, she feels like she maybe can find some peace and take a nap with some help. She lies back in the hospital bed, hands folded and resting on her belly and looks up at Jess. The frustration that was there moments ago is gone completely, and in its place a caring look that sends Rory even closer to peaceful feelings. She clears her throat, and requests in a quiet but steady voice,
"Will you read to me until I fall asleep?"
His eyes brighten and he nods, "of course. We packed The Glimpses of the Moon, Mrs. Dalloway, Jane Eyre, and All About Love. I personally packed a Hemingway too, in case you need something really boring."
Her lips quirk and she hums in thought.
"All About Love. It's fitting, and the way bell hooks writes is so soothing to me."
"Even when she's talking about social injustices?" he asks as he crosses the room and digs around the duffel bag for it.
"Even then," she confirms, with a hint of a playful tone in her voice.
He grabs a chair and pulls it up next to the bed. He sits down, and before he starts reading, he leans himself forward to place kisses up her arm until his lips meet hers. Faces close together, he whispers to her,
"I love you, Rory."
A genuine happy grin graces her features; she closes her eyes and whispers back, "I love you so much."
She wakes to a swirl of nausea in her stomach, as well as a murmuring voice. Her eyes open to see Jess leaning on the bed, with his face almost pressed up against her belly. She can't feel much, but from the way he's sitting she knows his hand is resting on her too. Her head is foggy and the nausea ebbs and flows inside her. She slowly comes to enough to catch the last few mumbles from Jess.
"I would really like to do this again. Give you a sister or bother. Maybe both," he mutters to her bump, "so please check your surroundings and be careful on the way out, okay?"
Her heart swoons at his words, and for a moment she forgets about the demanding feeling in her gut. She reaches a hand out to brush up against his hair. Feeling it right away, he sits up and turns to her.
"Hi. Your mom and Luke stepped out again for some snacks," his voice is low and deep, his hair a bit of a mess, "how are you feeling?"
"Are you okay, Jess? Did you sleep at all?"
"Don't worry about me," he shakes his head and reaches out to hold her hand, "I'm glad you slept."
She yawns and asks, "how long have I been asleep for?"
"Aside from the doctor waking you up a couple times to check on progress, about two and a half hours."
Her eyes widen, "what? I have no recollection of that."
He shrugs a shoulder, "that's okay. That means the drugs are working well."
She frowns slightly, "is that normal? Do you think they're giving me too much? I want to remember giving birth."
He takes a breath and stands up from the chair. He bends over her and kisses her head.
"I think it's all okay. I don't think there is anything to worry about. You just needed the sleep is all."
As he pulls back he looks down at her and finds a look of confusion on her face.
"You've been worried about me this entire pregnancy. Why aren't you freaking out now?"
Her question is more curious than interrogative, as though she simply wants to understand. He brings a hand to cup her face and looks between her eyes.
"Because you need me. I'm here for you."
She wants to question further, to know if that means that he's ignoring whatever fears he has to be strong for her, but the door to her room opens again and both Lorelai and Paris walk in.
"You're awake," her mom says happily, walking slowly to the open side of her bed, "how are you feeling honey? You look good," she rubs her head lovingly and runs her fingers down her hair, "I love your braid. Did Jess do it for you?"
Rory's eyebrows furrow and Jess clears his throat as she turns to look at him.
"My braid?" she brings a hand up to feel that her hair is indeed in a braid, "my hair is braided."
"Oh, you didn't know that Jess could braid hair? Oops," Lorelai mumbles and throws Jess an apologetic look, "was that supposed to be a surprise?"
He shrugs and crosses his arms over his chest. Forgetting completely about the circumstances of the night, Rory looks up at him with her mouth open in awe.
"When did you learn to braid hair? I can't even braid hair."
"Doula taught me," he shrugs again and scratches the back of his neck, "it's no big deal. I just thought you might be more comfortable with your hair out of your face. Did it while you were sleeping."
"Jess," she says softly with a hand over her heart, "I don't even know what to say."
"There's nothing to say. It's just hair."
"It's so much more than that. You did it for our daughter, I know you did."
She gets her answer as a gentle smile graces his lips, and she stares at it with so much love.
"Okay, this is very sickeningly sweet and all, but I came in here to ask you how you're feeling?" Paris interrupts, "did sleeping help? Do you need more drugs? Would you rather have a C-section? I can make it happen."
And it's like a spell is broken as she's suddenly aware of churning nausea in her stomach again.
"Sleeping helped but I feel sick."
Paris gives her a look and pulls the doctor's chart out.
"What kind of sick?"
She places her hands on her belly and swallows down the desire to gag.
"I think I'm going to throw up."
Jess looks sharply at Paris, hoping for some sort of explanation.
"Jess, hit the nurse button," she puts the chart away and gives Rory a small smirk, "I think you're ready to pop."
She hears Jess hit the button over and over again. Her free hand shoots to her mouth, and luckily Lorelai is paying attention and holds a trash can up to her face. As soon as it's there, Rory heaves out whatever remnants of their dinner were still sitting in her stomach.
"Let it all out, sweets."
She coughs and mumbles into the container, "I don't feel good."
She feels a familiar hand rubbing her back and it does bring her some comfort.
"I called the nurse, baby," he whispers near her ear, "It's okay. Someone is coming to help."
"I'm going to go chase your doctor down. And then I'll leave you alone. For now," Paris states in a tone that means business, she hovers at the door before leaving and says somewhat softly, "Rory?"
She looks up at her friend, face crumpled as her stomach continues to swirl.
"Are you excited to be a mom?"
The question throws her off guard, and she's reminded that Paris was determined to put her in a better mood about giving birth. And even though she's still nervous, and not feeling so hot, she smiles wide and nods.
"I am. I'm so excited."
Paris taps the doorframe, "Good. Remember to breathe while you're pushing her out or you'll pass out. I'll call you later tomorrow."
"Thank you, Paris," Jess calls to her before she walks out. She takes his peace offering and nods, and then she's gone.
She has another dizzying contraction, though she still can't feel the pain of it, the pressure slams through her and she groans.
"Oh honey," Lorelai mumbles, rubbing a soothing hand on her head. She leans over the trash can and throws up again.
"Where the hell is the doctor," Jess mutters, eyes shifting between Rory and the doorway, "I'm sorry, Rory. I wish I could do this part for us."
His words manage to derive a pained chuckle out of her, and he feels his racing heart slow.
The doctor comes in then followed by a couple of nurses.
"She's throwing up," Jess states with intensity as soon as they enter the room.
"Everything is okay. Feeling nauseous or getting sick is normal at this stage," the doctor assures her and gives her a smile as she checks between her legs, "it's just a sign that your body is ready to deliver a baby, Rory."
"Oh my god, really? It's happening now?" she asks with wide eyes that shift between the doctor and Jess. He takes her hand in his and massages it gently.
"Yes, you are fully dilated and it's time to start pushing," the doctor looks up, "you wanted music while you delivered, didn't you? I suggest someone puts that on now."
Lorelai notices a distressed look on Jess's face, and she understands that he doesn't want to leave Rory's side.
"I'll get it," she walks to their bag and pulls out the small speaker they brought. She turns it on and places it nearby so Rory will be able to hear it.
"The playlist is on my phone. It's called 'Birth'," Jess points to his phone nearby.
"Very original," Lorelai teases and quickly puts it on. Jess and Rory both grin as the sounds of The Cure's 'Just Like Heaven' fill the room, and Lorelai doesn't miss it. She watches as they communicate soft and lovingly to each other, at the deep love in Jess's look and all of his attentive touches and kisses over her as they prepare to welcome their child into the world. The doctor loudly asks, "are you ready, Rory? On your next contraction, you should start pushing."
Rory trembles slightly but nods, "okay."
"Are you staying, mom? She can have two people in the room. You want to help hold one of her legs?" the doctor asks, directed at Lorelai. She opens her mouth but looks at Jess and Rory again. Rory meets her eyes and quirks her head in confusion, because while they had never really talked about it, they both assumed she would probably be in the room with her for this. Lorelai gives her a soft smile and steps up to the empty side of the bed. She looks over at Jess and then down at Rory.
"I think I'll go wait with Luke, honey. You got this."
Rory frowns slightly, "really? You don't want to stay?"
"No, no. This is between you and Jess," she smiles and squeezes her daughter's hand, "having him support you is all you need, and it's going to be amazing."
"Mom…"
"Really, I mean it. I don't need to be here, and that's okay, honey," she shakes her head, and her eyes water, "I'm so happy for you to have this. Someone so excited to bring a baby into the world with you. And you're so strong, Rory, you're going to be just fine. I'll see you when it's all over, okay?"
She leans down and kisses her head, and she sees that Rory's eyes are watering too.
"Okay, I love you, mom."
"I love you too, sweets," she then turns her head to meet Jess's eyes, and she says to him for the first time, "and I love you too, Jess. Take good care of our girl."
His features twitch in surprise, his eyes widen slightly, but he simply nods to her in response. As the doctor tells Rory to start pushing, Lorelai disappears from their sight.
"Oh my god, that is exhausting," Rory grunts after pushing through her first few contractions. Jess wipes a hand across her forehead and over her hair. The bed is tilted enough now that he can stand and still reach her face, and he places a small kiss there. She's breathing heavily and her legs are wide open and bent; he finds her still incredibly beautiful.
"You're doing so good," he murmurs softly near her ear, "so good, Rory."
"I'm trying," she stutters out, and she starts pushing again as another contraction hits. He brings a hand to her jaw to massage some of the tension out as he watches her grit her teeth hard. He continues to give her encouraging words and any supportive actions that he can. He watches in constant awe at what her body does, and at her seemingly endless capacity for discomfort. He sings to her at times to the music in the background, attempting to distract her from the weariness of labor. Between his help and her resilience, half an hour of pushing passes as smoothly as it possibly can. But he can see that she's gradually getting drained; her energy is plummeting, and he knows the baby's head has not even come out yet. After a particularly rough push, she falls back on the bed and turns to him with a pale face and tears in her eyes. His heart aches for her, and he gently cleans the sweat off her face and mutters words of encouragement to her.
"Rory, you're really close. I can see her head, she's going to be here so soon," the doctor tells her, "you can take a break through the next contraction, but then you need to keep going. We're almost there."
"What do you mean we? My body is doing all the work," she cries with a frustrated edge to her voice. Jess almost smiles in amusement, because she would never usually act this way; he always enjoys it when she's a little uninhibited in any way.
"I know, and you're doing great, especially for your first birth. We're all really impressed."
The doctor's words totally play to the overachiever in her, and she decides then that she isn't going to take a break. As she feels the pressure from her next contraction, she holds on tighter to Jess's hand and pushes until she feels her face turn red.
"Fuck, you're so strong, Rory," Jess praises, completely ignoring the pain in his hand, "you're so fucking strong."
As the contraction subsides, she starts to sob, and it breaks his heart even more. His own eyes start to water at her clear discomfort, but he swallows his emotions down.
"I'm so proud of you, you're doing amazing, baby," he murmurs to her, caressing the side of her face, "thank you so much for doing this for us."
She looks at him with her big, red watery eyes and he can no longer stop a tear from rolling down his own face.
"I can't do it anymore, it's too hard. I'm so tired, Jess. I'm so tired," she whimpers and swings a hand out to hold desperately onto his shoulder. He leans in closer to her, cradling her head against his chest and kissing it over and over again.
"I know you can do it, just take a break now. It's okay. I've got you."
She takes deep breaths, finding some semblance of calm in the comfort of his strong arms. His gentle mumbles of love and his body pressed against hers replenishes her fight. She does take a break through one contraction, but she pulls away from Jess to grip onto the sides of the bed as the next one storms through her. She cries still, because the pressure in her hips and back is monstrous, but she pushes hard through it. Her head starts to dizzy from the energy it takes, yet she stays coherent as she hears a cacophony of a baby crying, the sounds of a song playing, and Jess's voice around her.
"Rory, she's here. Her head is out, oh my god. You're incredible," Jess enthuses with watery eyes and a big smile. Through labored breaths, she smiles too.
"What song is playing?" she asks as she looks up at him with damp eyes. He lets out a humorless laugh and wipes her forehead clean with a small towel. Then he says near her ear,
"'Then She Appeared'."
Her smile widens and she gasps in awe.
"That's perfect."
He nods emphatically and lifts her hand to his lips to kiss repeatedly, "it is, it's all perfect, Rory. And it's all thanks to you."
"Almost done," the doctor calls out, "just a couple more pushes Rory and we'll get her all the way out. You're doing great, mom."
"Okay, okay," she mumbles and nods. She closes her eyes and takes deep breaths, and rather quickly compared to the rest of her labor, she finishes pushing their newborn daughter into the world.
The next few minutes are a blur as the doctor and nurses takeover, and Rory barely sees the baby until she's placed on her bare chest by a nurse. She blinks and looks down; she gasps and her eyes refill with overwhelming tears. Pressed against her chest is a precious little newborn, with a full head of dark hair so similar to her dad's. Rory gently places her hands on her like she's a fragile doll, and the baby's sobs calm to subdued cries. While focused on the baby, she sees Jess's hand reach out to touch her.
"Look what you made for us, Rory," he speaks in a moving, tender murmur. She meets his eyes and finds them similarly full of tears.
"Look what you made," he repeats himself, sniffling as he takes in their new little family, "she's amazing, and you're amazing. This whole thing is just…. I don't have enough words for it. I'm so so proud of you, Rory."
She sniffles and reaches her hand out to him. He takes it and rubs it against his face affectionately. She smiles and looks down again at the newborn on her chest.
"I can't believe I did it."
"I can," he replies, "I knew you could do it. You're the strongest person I know."
She takes a shaky breath and feels the exhaustion in her bones.
"I don't feel very strong right now."
"You are," he replies, kissing her palm, "I know you're tired, but you're still so strong."
His eyes bore into her with a gentle intensity that she feels all over. She blinks some of the tears out of her eyes and looks down at their daughter again.
"She has your hair."
He smiles over them, and she watches his fingers delicately ghost over her head.
"She does," he concurs. Her vision is still locked on the baby as she feels him kiss the side of her head, "her beauty and strength are all you though."
The next two hours go by at full speed. She tries to stay present at every moment, like when the baby is checked, when she breastfeeds her for the first and also the second time, when the nurse shows them how to swaddle and soothe her, but it feels like an out of body experience. Her limbs feel heavy and slow, desperate for some rest, though she doesn't want to take her hands or her eyes off her daughter. When her mom and Luke come in to congratulate her and meet the baby, she knows she talks to them, yet she can hardly register the conversation. Everyone except Jess asks her for a name but she can hardly think straight, and she hasn't really slept in over a day now, and she's just happy the baby is here and healthy - naming her is nowhere near the front of her mind at the moment. At some point, she meets his eyes to find that he's regarding her intently; a second later he's giving Luke and her mom a key to their house, sending them there to get some sleep and food. The room finally falls silent, occupied only by their new little family. The newborn is asleep in a bassinet nearby. She watches as Jess looks over their daughter with the warmest smile she's ever seen on him.
Then, he turns his attention towards her, and murmurs from the side of her bed,
"You can sleep, Rory. Everything is okay."
She breathes in deeply and sighs out to him,
"I feel bad. She just got here."
He leans over her, pulling the blankets up around her and kissing her head.
"She just got here because you exhausted yourself bringing her here. Please try and sleep."
Her eyes start to close at those words alone. She mumbles sluggishly,
"What about you? You need sleep too."
"Don't worry about me."
She pries her eyes open, "but I am. You haven't slept at all."
He goes to repeat his words, but he's met with a deeply sincere look on her face. He nods and smiles softly, he runs his fingers over the top of her head.
"Okay. I'm going to sleep too."
Satisfied by that answer, she finally allows herself to close her eyes and sink into a necessary slumber.
When she wakes up, she feels every ache in her body, the numbness from before almost completely gone. She groans quietly and is startled when she hears Jess ask,
"Are you okay?"
Blinking away sleep, she turns her head to find him. A soft gasp escapes her at the sight: he sits in a chair near the bed without a shirt on, their new daughter cuddled against his chest. His mouth rests near the top of her head, as though he's been whispering to her or giving her kisses; Rory assumes he's probably been doing both. And she was right - it is quite a vision to see the hands that she loves, that have brought her so much comfort and care, enveloping their tiny baby in love and safety.
"Do you need a nurse?" he follows up with a concerned look when she doesn't answer. She shakes her head.
"You're a father, Jess," she gushes, "a beautiful, beautiful father."
His face lifts in surprise at her proclamation before melting into a serene smile. He looks down at the baby and then over at Rory.
"And you're a beautiful, beautiful mother."
She grins and with great effort, pushes herself to sit up in bed.
"Do you need something?"
She looks around and finds her jumbo cup of water that the hospital gave her. She leans over with a grunt and grabs it.
"I could have done that," Jess mutters as he watches her chug a huge gulp of water from her straw. She shrugs one shoulder and carefully places it back.
Feeling much more present than earlier, the gravity of their new life hits her as the baby starts to quietly fuss in Jess's arms. She watches as he attempts to soothe her.
"Are you hungry, sweetpea? I think you're hungry," he stands up slowly and steps closer to Rory, "do you want me to get the nurse just in case?"
She bites her lip and shakes her head, pulling her gown down to bare her chest.
"No, I want to try on my own," she holds her arms out.
"Okay, here she comes," he mumbles, carefully transferring her to Rory's arms. She takes a steadying breath and guides her to her bosom. The baby opens and closes her mouth but struggles to make contact right away.
"Can I try and help?" Jess asks in a humble whisper.
"Of course," she nods and leans her head back to give him space, "she just needs help getting it in her mouth I think."
With serious focus and a delicate touch, he maneuvers her breast to meet the baby's lips; after a loaded moment, she attaches and begins to eat.
"Thank you. Wow, she was hungry!"
He smirks as he pulls up the chair closer to the bed to watch.
"A ferocious eater just like you."
"Yes, we will be cutting up her food super tiny in the future," she laughs, but her tone becomes heavy with wonder as she says, "this is so crazy. I can't believe this was inside of me. I can't believe that we made her!"
Jess opens his mouth to respond and is cut off by Rory gasping.
"She has blue eyes! I wonder if they will stay blue. They're so beautiful."
"I know, they're gorgeous," Jess replies in a similar tone of excitement, "knowing the Gilmore genes, I think they'll stay blue."
She looks up at him with a happy smile, "they could change and be hazel like yours. You never know."
His lips lift high in an amused grin, "I guess we'll see. Since we get to take her home and all."
"Yes we do," Rory sighs serenely, "she's all ours. Did you send pictures to Doula? Or anyone else? We should send one to Jimmy, so he can see that she was born with a full head of hair just like he said."
He shakes his head, eyes locked on the baby.
"Not yet. Haven't been able to takes my eyes off either of you," he turns his gaze to her, "but your mom on the other hand…I told her she can share pictures. I'm sure she's texted everyone. Is that okay?"
"Totally okay. That means less work for us."
He smirks, "my thoughts exactly."
They both watch their daughter as she hungrily feeds, enthralled by the moment and by the promise of so many more incredible moments with her. Rory's thumb grazes the hospital band around her small foot, and she catches sight of the date.
"June 8th," she turns to Jess with a big smile, "her birthday is June 8th. Exactly a month before yours, that's so special!"
He smiles, "it's the same day as your birthday too, October 8th."
"Is eight our lucky number?"
"I think it might be," he nods in agreement, then leans forward to kiss her cheek, "the doctor said she was born at 3:08am."
"That's going to be an annoying time to wake her up every birthday," Rory jokes, "but that's the tradition."
"Speaking of tradition," he mumbles, "I would love to name her after you, if that's what you want too. Everything you did to bring her into the world…beyond impressive, Rory. Your name is more than special enough."
Her grin lifts higher, and her eyes water at the raw sentiment in his words. She reaches her head forward to meet his lips for a kiss.
"Thank you but I've been thinking," she starts thoughtfully, "if we're going to have more kids, why don't I save my name for another daughter? Since this is our firstborn, she'll already feel special. We can save the tradition for our next girl, right?"
She gets her answer as his whole face brightens.
"Yes. I love that idea, Rory."
She grins and looks down at the baby again; with her beautiful head of dark hair, and her curious blue eyes, Rory's heart leaps.
"What do you think about Persephone?" she asks softly, not turning away from the bundle in her arms.
"Like, goddess of the underworld?"
"She's not just the goddess of the underworld, but yes. For her name," she turns to Jess then, "we could call her Persie."
The corners of his mouth lift high.
"Continuing the gender bendy thing."
She smiles, "yes, kind of. Though it wouldn't be spelled like the boy name."
"Persephone is beautiful, and Persie is adorable. I love it," he kisses her head, and then leans down and kisses the baby's foot too, "what made you think of it?"
She swallows and looks down at the baby again.
"Persephone, though she is associated with the underworld, is also associated with rebirth," she explains in a soft voice, "I thought of it while I was writing yesterday and came to the realization about having a second chance. And considering the song she came into the world to…it feels fitting to name her after something celestial."
She feels Jess place a tender hand on her leg, and with wet eyes she looks up to see the most loving look on his face.
"Among all of the incredible things you've already done, you've also managed to pick the perfect name."
She melts, "yeah? You want to name her that?"
"Absolutely," he replies with a big nod, "Persephone Gilmore-Mariano. It's beautiful, Rory."
"Persie," she says with a happy sigh and looks down at the baby, "hi Persie! What do you think? Do you like your name?"
Blue eyes meet identical blues, and she blinks a couple of times up at her mom.
"I think she likes it too," Jess surmises with a soft laugh.
"I think she has no idea what we're talking about," she laughs and looks up at him again, "Jess, you should pick her middle name."
He frowns, "I don't think I'm qualified to do that."
"Of course you are. She's your daughter. There's no rush, just think about it."
They sit in comfortable silence as the baby finishes eating and Rory goes through the motions of burping and soothing her. She shifts on the bed and holds her towards Jess when she's done.
"Here, daddy. You can have her back. More skin-to-skin contact will help you think of the perfect middle name."
With half a laugh, he gladly takes her back in his arms, cherishing her as he holds her against his chest. He mutters barely decipherable words to her, but Rory can easily guess what they are. She lies her head sideways against her pillow and simply watches the two of them like they're her new favorite movie. Hanging on to every little sound she makes, and every gentle touch and kiss he gives her. Her stomach growling interrupts the peace sometime later and she looks up at the clock to see that it's around seven in the morning.
"The nurse said she would be bringing you something to eat by eight," Jess murmurs to her, "but we still have snacks if you want some. And Lorelai mentioned that she plans to bring you a delicious buffet of foods for lunch later."
She grins, "sounds about right."
"Yes, I think I heard promises of sushi, sandwiches and lots of cheeses."
She giggles softly, "she's the best."
"She is. It was really…moving when she left the room during delivery."
"You're her family, Jess. She loves you," she says tenderly, "she has for a long time. I'm glad she finally actually said it to you."
He swallows the weight of those words and after a beat he asks,
"What is Lorelai's middle name?"
"Victoria. Why?"
He smiles softly, "Persephone Victoria Gilmore-Mariano. What do you think?"
Slowly, an adoring grin grows on her face.
"It's a mouthful, in the best way. I love it. Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Sounds like our baby girl has an official name."
"She sure does, and it's as beautiful as she is."
She sits up in bed to find the nurse button.
"I'm going to call a nurse in here so we can fill out the paperwork and give our daughter a proper existence," she jokes and presses the button. He inhales deeply with an irrepressible smile on her face.
"Ask her to bring me another heart too, while you're at it."
She cocks her head and looks at him curiously; he meets her eyes and explains in a tender voice,
"I'm going to need it, because mine is bursting at the seams."
AN: i hope you're all happy with the birth and her name!
my sister that i only get to see a couple times a year is visiting starting tomorrow. I plan to be attached to her hip for the next week. just wanted to let you know you might not get another chapter as quickly as usual. but hopefully this one holds you over :)