RECYCLE BIN

[CANON-ISH RANDOM FINN-CENTRIC DRABBLE]

The first thing he did when he came home was remove every piece of photographic evidence that she existed from his room. All the pictures were pulled from frames and yanked away from poster tack around his mirror, then torn to confetti and dumped in the trash.

The next step was to cleanse his social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram – he deleted all her (their) pics, blocked her then deleted their 'friend' status from all online platforms.

He wanted a clean break and no trace remaining of what they once were to pop up at random. Cheaters had no place in his life and he was determined to erase her and all the fake, lying memories of her and of what they once were together. She told him she loved him and then she cheated on him – with his so-called best friend at that! Who the hell does that?!

Facebook was especially important. So many tags from her to him and vice versa, private chat threads, his profile pic, hell his relationship status – that was the MOST vital thing to change. Clicking the option from In A Relationship to SINGLE actually brought a smile to his face – the first genuine one he'd worn since he found out the truth earlier that day.

He let that ruminate for a minute.

Single.

He was free.

Free to veg out and play Xbox for 48 hours straight.

Free to sleep through the entire weekend beginning at 4pm on a Friday.

Free to watch all the bloody horror films and Skinemax and ESPN and televised sports talk shows and raunchy teen frat boy movies he wanted to his heart's content. No bossy needy girlfriend to guilt him or schedule his time or tell him where to be, when to be, and how to look and behave when he gets there.

FREE.

Free to date someone new if he wanted. It was too soon to think about that though. As much as the idea sounded appealing, his heart reminded him where those feelings led him the last go round. Even still, at least now he's a little wiser, a little less naive. He knows what to look for in the future.

Maybe the best relationship he could have for a while would be with his game controller. Or better still, with a few of his textbooks – god knows he needs the extra study time 'cause his grades aren't gonna get any better on their own.

Free.

Free to think... free to remember. Free to feel the pain. All those months spent loving someone, daydreaming about so many plans for their future – even if they were only ever going to be fantasies that might never have come true, there was still always the possibility. And now those possibilities are gone.

It sucked.

It sucked a lot, actually. It felt like losing a piece of himself; but then he reminded himself, she was never REALLY his to begin with, as much as he tried. As much as he wanted her to be and thought she was. She was never gonna stick around and be his; she was leaving his world at some point anyway. Then she'd always only ever be like this idea, this weird living ghost somewhere in the world who he'd always wonder about. Would she ever come back for him? Would she even know he existed once she was someone else's? Maybe she'd become famous then he could stalk her online, admire her from afar... still. He'd wanted to be part of her life forever. Now he doesn't see the point.

Now he knows forever is an overrated concept. All there is is TODAY. Now.

And now he hears her footsteps entering the room behind him as he empties the recycle bin on his computer desktop, erasing her and all the pictures and memories with her (and maybe some of the pain too). If only he could do the same thing to his brain. Wouldn't that be cool?

"How're you doing? Feeling any better?"

"A little. I got my room cleared, mostly, and pretty much got everything off my computer. I still need to deal with my phone though, but I figured I'd save that for last."

"Finn, it'll be okay, you know. YOU will be okay. I wouldn't let you be anything else."

"I know. I know you wouldn't... thanks for coming. I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you asked me to be. I honestly thought you'd hate me."

"Why the hell would I ever hate you?"

"For being the messenger. It was only a theory you know? You might not have believed me and–"

He spun around on his wheeled desk chair and scooted himself close to where she sat on the edge of his bed and took her hands. "You never lie to me. You've always been someone I can depend on. I could never hate you. Thanks for telling me the truth, or I guess for getting me to see it. I think you kinda saved my life today."

"But I also took one away from you," she says as she sees the ultrasound photo laying at the top of his trash can. "You might have been scared, terrified even over how you were going to support a baby... but I know you loved her already."

He thinks about that for a moment as a frown appears on his face. "Yeah. I did. I guess I still do. I'm not sure if that'll just go away, maybe not ever... Even though she's not mine and never was, but my heart didn't know that. And now that it does, it kinda doesn't care."

"Because you're a good guy, Finn. And someday, when the time is right and you find the right person, you're gonna be an even GREATER father."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

She reaches a hand out and touches his forearm, caressing it gently, and he feels those familiar stirrings he always gets when she's close like this. He squeezed her hand a little tighter and never broke eye contact with her. "You're really awesome. And uh... it's probably too soon for me to do anything about it yet, but... but I think it's really entirely possible I already found the right person. I just need to clean out the recycle bin in my head first, y'know?"

She smiled at him and nodded knowingly (hopefully), understanding what he meant. "Well, I'm sure that person, whomever she may be, would totally be willing to wait until you've taken out all the trash first... because you're worth it."

Remembering all that newfound freedom he'd just acquired, he realized there was nothing stopping him from doing anything he wanted to do now. So he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers then pulled her close in a warm embrace. It was a relatively chaste kiss, but one that hinted at a promise for a future that was just around the corner.

"Thanks, Rach. You're the best."

. . . . .

~F❤️R~