I never thought that working with Dimitri would suck, but right now it was living hell.

I wasn't stupid to think that people didn't hear us, and I wasn't stupid enough to know that news had already spread through Court like wildfire. I had already heard the whispers from people as I walked by.

The snide comments from some of the Royals had me literally biting my tongue. Saying that it was only a matter of time and that our only person was to guard, not to have 'flirtations' with each other. But seeing the pity looks Lissa would give me and the side glances my coworkers would give, I was ready to bury my head in the sand.

I sighed quietly and kept my eyes forward, rolling my shoulders back once they felt too stiff. I was trying to not listen to the discussion but it was too easy to listen in. It was an idea that I had brought to Lissa and she seemed to be all for it, but needed the approval of the council.

"Where has this proposal come from, You Majesty? It seems to be so far fetched," Nathan Ivashkov said and my eye twitched slightly. I knew that he would be dead against it, but he was trying to make a mockery of Lissa. As per usual.

"It is a proposal that has come from many people, Dhampir and Moroi alike. How can we expect our Guardians to be able to protect us if their health is depleting. Mental health is something I take very seriously, and the support and resources are not there. Don't you think that having a Guardian in a healthy state of mind would be more proactive?" Lissa said primely, cocking her head to the side.

"I know that I would want my Guardians to be in the right place of mind. I've seen what things like depression and PTSD have done to Guardians. It's irresponsible for us to let this go by the wayside."

"You mean you want to push a pet project that has no real merit?" Nathan snarked and I huffed quietly.

I brought to Lissa because I had started sitting down with each member of my team, and Christian's, and checking in with them. I had seen a pattern forming, and when I reached out to the now-retired Hans Croft, he said that mental health was an issue that had be continuously brushed to the side because the Royals didn't want to use any of the budget for the Dhampirs unless absolutely necessary.

"I think that if you're so concerned about Guardians' 'mental health' you should look that one running you team. As I recall, she did run head first into a Strigoi's nest last week," another member of the council piped up and I clenched my teeth.

I wasn't being stupid or reckless, like everyone else thought I was. Despite Sydney leaving the Alchemists, she was working on way to prevent us from feel the high of a Strigoi bite. She was hoping that it would help give us a fighting chance, but it needed to stay strictly classified.

In the end, I volunteered to take the injection. But I couldn't tell anyone other than Lissa, simply because she was helping fund the project. The only people who knew were the three of us, and Andrew Bowen, who took over for Croft as Head Guardian.

I didn't regret my decision, and we were able to prove that the drug worked, but I regretted how it affected my relationship with Dimitri. When he got to the hospital and saw the state of me, he was furious.

And it was the straw the broken camel's very heavy back.

He was tired of my impulsivity when it came to my safety, and he could emotionally handle being in the constant worry that I was going to die because of being careless. And I had to sit and there and lie to his face on why I did it.

And it had been the hardest two weeks of my life. Dimitri was the love of my life. We were talking about getting married, about having kids. But now, I was sleeping on the couch in my office on the nights where I couldn't bare sleeping in Lissa's guest room in the Palace.

I let Dimitri keep the apartment because it would be harder for him to find another place to stay. But it hurt more that he would all but ignore me at work, unless it was work-related. I tried to keep the hurt below the surface, but there were a few times that my second would walk into my office and I'd have to quickly wipe away my tears.

I was grateful that the rest of my team had the decency to keep the talk to when I wasn't around, but it didn't mean that I didn't know it happened.

"That was an isolated incident, and Guardian's Hathaway's health has been assessed," Lissa said cooly, "Back to the topic at hand; while I wish to have your support, I will force this through under executive power. I am, in fact, your monarch, and I will push this despite the ruling. I would rather it be with you, not against you."

There were a few Royals that looked at each other before raising their hands when Lissa declared a vote. The representative from the Badica, Zeklos, Drodz, Conta, Szelksy, and Ozera families raised their hands, while the remaining five were against. Jill nodded diligently at Lissa when she raised her hand for the Dragomir family for the vote.

"With my vote as the ruling Monarch, the vote passes. Excess funding will go towards health for the Guardians and Dhampirs alike. I have looked over the trusts, and it will be pulled from the funding allocated to upgrades on the Moroi guest centre and council funding."

"Out of the funding for the Moroi centre? Are you crazy?" the Voda Prince exclaimed but Lissa cut him with a sharp look.

"The upgrades that have been requested for the Moroi guest centre can wait for another two to three years. It was just renovated last spring," Lissa said before adjourning the meeting, standing up. Everyone else stood up and waited for Lissa to move first. Christian fell into step with her when she exited the meeting room, Dimitri drifting a few feet behind. I canted my head at him out of politeness and flanked Lissa.

"How did it go?" Christian asked her.

"It went in our favour," Lissa said quietly, "Rose?"

I stepped closer and stood beside her when she stopped.

"Thank you for keeping yourself calm with Nathan's outburst."

"I have an obligation to be professional during council meetings," I said plainly.

Lissa nodded and squeezed my shoulder. "I know, but even he touched a nerve. He had no right to say what he did."

"He said what everyone is saying. Including members of my team," I said, knowing that Dimitri would have heard the conversation as well.

Lissa frowned and sighed quietly. "Greenland? I think that Guardian Hathaway has done more than her fair share of overtime this week, do you agree?"

I turned to look at my second and raised my brow, daring him to agree with her.

He cleared his throat. "Guardian Hathaway has already done sixty-five hours this week. It's only Thursday," he stated, raising a brow at me.

Lissa hummed in agreeance. "Go see Ambrose. That's an order, not a request. And then get some sleep, you're starting to run yourself ragged," she said, "Greenland? How much overtime have you done this week?"

"None so far, Your Majesty."

"Good. Please take over for as lead for the next four hours," Lissa asked kindly and then gave me a stern look. I sighed and nodded all while rolling my eyes at her.

"Yes, Lissa," I groaned but did as she asked. I was right, she had texted Ambrose before we went into the meeting and he was waiting to shove me into the first spa chair he could find. If I let him take care of my feet, it would satisfy Lissa.

I twirled in my chair as I waited for the presentation to start. It had been six weeks since the Strigoi incident and Bowen was ready to give the information out in stages. We all knew that we had been pulled in for classified meetings, but nobody had any idea as to why.

I turned as soon as Dimitri walked in the door, almost as if I could sense him. We held eye contact for a brief moment before he glanced down, finding his seat at the back of the room. I wasn't going to pretend that I couldn't see that he was hurting too, but he hurt me by ending things. I hadn't slept well since, and at one point, someone put a therapeutic pillow on my couch.

I nervously bit my thumbnail as Bowen stood up and moved to the front of the room, clicking the controller at the projector to turn it on.

"Alright, everyone. We are starting this meeting. I'd like to remind everyone that this is a classified meeting with classified information. Do not make me have Moroi compel you to keep your mouths shut, understand?" Bowen started, looking at everyone levelly in the room.

There were a few laughs and titters but then it fell silent.

"Six weeks ago we launched a project called 'Orlock'. This project was a trial run with a new drug that was designed by an ex-Alchemist. The project was a success, and we are ready to launch it in waves."

"What is the drug?" someone asked and Bowen looked at them. I knew better than to interrupt him.

"If you let me finish, the drug is best described as a nerve blocker. This drug is designed to prevent anyone from getting high from a Strigoi bite," Bowen said. The room was silent for a second before everyone started talking, questions overlapping each other.

Bowen called for attention while I felt like I was going to puke.

"How do we know that the drug was successful?" Dimitri asked. Bowen cleared his throat and glanced at me before Sydney stood up and came to stand with Bowen.

"When you and I were working together with Sonya Tanner in Palm Springs, we used the DNA breakdown to base the drug. Because neither you nor Sonya can be turned by force, this also protects everyone who takes the drugs. The drug will help give you all a fighting chance. The Strigoi won't expect Dhampir to not react to the bite."

"But how do you know it was successful?"

Sydney looked at me and gave me a tight smile. "Guardian Hathaway Jr. volunteered. She was confident that the drug would work, and we had Guardians on standby. To them, it was a simple raid, to Guardian Hathaway, it was a test. One that I am very thankful it was a success."

I gave Sydney a small smile and canted my head, listening to Bowen continue on with the breakdown of the project. It was volunteer basis right now, but it seemed like everyone was on board with the idea. As the meeting dwindled down, Bowen said something that shocked me.

"By the way, you all owe Hathaway one hell of a thank you and an apology. Just because I'm the Head Guardian and not in the field, does not mean I don't hear things. And the same is said for Hathaway."

I cleared my throat and stood up when Bowen dismissed up, beelining for the door so that I wouldn't be bombarded with questions. I managed to get out and went straight to my office, locking the door behind me and laying back on the couch. I toed my boots off and picked up the stack of reports I left on the table and continued reading them.

I was halfway through the stack when there was a sharp knock on the door and then a rattle of the handle. I wasn't a stickler; I just told everyone to knock before coming in. But locking the door would stop that, so I prayed that they would leave.

After a moment I heard a key slide into the lock and the door opened.

I lowered the report to see who had come in, only four people had a key to my office other than myself.

"Hi," Dimitri said quietly.

"Hi," I whispered.

Dimitri shifted on his feet and stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Do you have a moment to talk?"

I set the reports down on the table and sat up. "Sure. What do you need?"

Dimitri moved to sit on the other end of the couch, leaning back with a sigh.

"You weren't being impulsive or reckless."

"No," I said quietly.

"Why did you volunteer?"

"Because you and I both know that I'm not affected by the bite as much as I used to be," I said quietly and ran my hand through my hair.

"Why didn't you tell me what you were going to do?" he pleaded.

"I couldn't it was so classified that we had to leave our cell phones outside. We didn't know where the meeting was going to be, or who was going to be there. Lissa wasn't even allowed to tell Christian. Sydney couldn't tell Adrian. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't."

"And what you told me at the hospital?"

"It was the story Bowen and I discussed," I said, "You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you, but sometimes my job comes before us. You're a Guardian too, you understand that sometimes, things need to be kept under wraps."

Dimitri shook his head and sighed. I let him think it over for a few minutes before I voiced something that I had been thinking for a while.

"Do you think that maybe you have some unresolved issues that may have influenced your outburst? Because I know that if you had felt that things were coming to ahead, you would have tried to talk it out first. But you didn't with this, you just…snapped."

Dimitri glanced at me and cleared his throat. "Is that part of why you brought the mental health project to Lissa? Because of me?"

"Partly. I know that you've come to terms with what happened to you, but, there are still some things that are unresolved. Particularly when it comes to me and Strigoi," I said gently.

One of the patterns I had noticed was that anytime I had any kind of alteration with a Strigoi and Dimitri wasn't there, he would be agitated and borderline explosive and then withdrawn for a day or so. Dimitri didn't like to talk about what happened during the time he was Strigoi, but he would talk when he felt that he needed to. But I knew deep down, he was holding onto something.

"Facing Strigoi is an occupational hazard, comrade."

"But you don't treat it like a hazard! You are blasé about it," Dimitri blurted and I raised my brows at him.

"I don't treat it like a hazard because I'm not scared of it anymore. I have seen so many in my life that they are like passing a cat on the street. Yes, they're dangerous and I know that better than anyone. But you also know that I can handle myself. Or have you forgotten that I took you down twice as a Strigoi and helped you kill Galina?"

Dimitri breathed slowly through his nose. I rested my hand on his knee and dipped my head to the side to look at him.

"Dimitri?"

"Any time you face a Strigoi alone, all I can think about is how I can't be there to help you," he said quietly.

"But you need to remember that I can protect myself because you taught me how," I said adamantly, "You taught me how to be big when I'm small, you taught me how to be stronger and faster. You made sure that I was ready. Remember that. Because I have the same fear as you do, but I remember that you are one of the best Guardians in our generation, and you can handle yourself."

Dimitri looked at me and licked his lips. "I'm sorry."

"I know," I said softly. I knew that he was hurting, and I knew that every year, a week before my birthday, Dimitri would get agitated. And every year, I'd stand by him and remind him that he was here, and not there.

"I really messed things up," he whispered and I sighed.

"You really hurt me," I said honestly.

"I know. And I'm so sorry."

"Do you remember what I said when we were on the run?"

Dimitri nodded his head after a few minutes. "That I needed to forgive myself."

"Yes. And I don't think that you fully have. I think a piece that you can't let go of is Strigoi you hurting me and every time I face a Strigoi without you, that's all you can think of."

Dimitri frowned and nodded.

"I think that you need to talk to someone; a professional. I know that you weren't keen on it in the past, but now, you need to. Because either you do it willingly, or I will mandate it as your boss. Because while I know that you are a very capable Guardian, I need to know that every member of my teams is in their best place. And I know that this will start to eat you up out of guilt."

Dimitri nodded and gripped my hand that rested on his knee, twisting his fingers in with mine. Looking in his eyes I could see the guilt. He wasn't hiding from me, he was showing me the pain and the guilt he felt.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, that I hurt us," he whispered.

I nodded and cupped his cheek. "I know. But I'll be here, I'll be beside you every step of the way," I soothed.

Dimitri leaned in and rested his head against mine, our faces fitting perfectly together as always.

"I talk to someone. Once every two weeks," I offered. It wasn't something that I gave up willingly, but I wanted him to know that it wasn't a sign of weakness.

"You do?"

"I have since the first year of guarding Lissa," I said. Dimitri shifted a bit and raised his brows at me.

"You never said anything. You've been her Guardian for six years."

I shrugged. "I do it because it helps make everything easier to deal with. I hated it at first, but once I made that breakthrough, it became so easy to talk to her. Her name is Katie. She's a PSTD specialist. And when you're ready, she'll be waiting for you."

Dimitri leaned back into me and I leaned into him, slipping my arms around his waist. I breathed in a slow breath, smiling to myself at how comforting his smell was.

"Do you have her number? So I can make an appointment?"

I nodded and turned my head, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

"I do. But we can do that in the morning," I chuckled, canting my head towards the clock. Dimitri lifted his head and chuckled, noticing that it was closer to noon. Dimitri sighed and stood up and I followed. Dimitri looked down at me and gave him a soft smile.

"After this," he started but I nodded.

"I want us to work," I whispered, "You're my everything."

Dimitri nodded and sighed, his shoulders sagging and he stepped closer, wrapping his arms around my waist. I buried my face in his chest.

"I love you," Dimitri said quietly.

"I love you too. So much," I whispered.

Dimitri squeezed me tighter. "I do have one favour to ask."

I lifted my head. "What?"

"Come home?"

I sagged. "Oh God, you have no idea how much I miss our bed. That couch is a torture device," I said, "Plus, I can't sleep well without my warm-blooded Russian," I said with a smirk.

Dimitri scoffed a laugh. "So you want to come home, not because you miss me or us, but because you miss having a human hot water bottle?"

I pretended to think for a moment and stretched up on my toes, cupping the back of his head to pull him down to kiss me.

"No, it's just one of the things I miss."

Dimitri leaned into the kiss and when he pulled back, he smirked at me.

"Who came up with project 'Orlock'?"

"I did. You don't know who that is?"

Dimitri shook his head.

"Count Orlock is the first vampire in a film," I laughed.

Just a little one-shot I worked on when I needed a break from studying.