Chapter 4

Here it goes, he was going back to the US to star in a Hollywood movie. It was his life's dream and his biggest fear. He had received the script 10 days earlier and to his surprise he had discovered that the main star of the movie was none other than his father, Kuu Hizuri. If there wasn't a trick of the president behind it... Those two were the kings of twisted machinations! But for once Ren was happy with their Machiavellian plans, he felt ready to play with his father and this film would be a good opportunity for his career. He must be good at that audition. Kunio, the character he was to play, was the irreverent son of Kuu Hizuri. He was adorable but he was always doing stupid things. The movie was a road movie where the two men were tearing each other apart. If he was hired, filming would start in January.

He turned to Yashiro, who, his eyes on the schedule, did not notice his protégé's excitement. Ren turned back to the window; they were flying above the clouds. It was soothing.

Thinking about it, Ren mainly wanted to use this film to atone for his fault. Indeed, it was time to forgive himself for Rick's death. He would never forget Rick but he had to live his life now. However, he felt obliged, to honor his deceased friend, to make a big comeback. And this film was the perfect opportunity.

He wondered what tactic to adopt to become Kunio. Pensively, he signaled to Yashiro that he was going to the restroom, mainly to stretch his legs. In the narrow cabin, he remembered what he knew about Kunio… This kid was unmanageable because he had suffered from the racism of other children. Like him. He had fallen into violence because he had not been able to resolve his conflicts otherwise. Like him. He did not respect girls because they were all at his feet. Like him… How to bring out that he was like Kunio? That he was Kunio? He splashed water on his face and mechanically looked at his reflection.

- Like me, Kunio is like me... He whispered.

Suddenly something clicked: his eyes! He had to use his green eyes, they summed up his mixed blood and had often been the reason for his problems!

Nevertheless, using his eyes was admitting who he was. Was he ready for that... That was surely the goal of the president's scheme... After all, why not, he would have to tell Yashiro and certainly Kyoko. But he felt ready.

Relieved, Ren returned to his seat. He had his Kunio and no one could match him. The problem now was to confess everything to Yashiro-san. Sure, he would bombard him with questions. He decided that the sooner the better, he would tell him the truth that very evening.

When the plane landed in Los Angeles, Yashiro stretched. He had slept most of the way, which had frustrated Ren who couldn't sleep because of the excitement and the lack of space for his long legs.

They got off the plane first, a business class privilege. Then Ren whispered to his manager "I'll explain" as he headed to the line reserved for Americans. In front of the customs officers, he took out his lenses and declared that his hair was dyed. Obviously, this seemed suspicious and earned him a striptease session in the customs office.

By consequent, it was a rather upset Ren who found Yashiro-san in the arrivals hall of the airport.

Without giving his manager time to say a word he declared:

- I am Kuon Hizuri, American of Japanese and Russian descent. I fled my country and my family in search of forgiveness. I'll drive, okay?

Yashiro, who had recently started driving, was relieved by the last sentence, driving on the right side of the road, in Los Angeles, no thanks! He took more time to digest the other news. He could feel it, Ren had just exposed himself. Kuon, he had already heard that name, it was the name that Kuu Hizuri had given to Kyoko during his last trip to Japan. Kuon Hizuri... Ren was the son of the famous actor. It fit, Julie Hizuri was Russian... It was incredible! And those green eyes! What other secrets was Ren hiding? How was he going to keep such a secret? Ahhh that will drive him crazy!

He refrained from any comments, however, and let his friend guide him. To think that he had looked for all the legal details to establish an American employment contract and that he had worked hard for his visa application. All that for nothing, Ren was American! At least he was reassured, his protégé's english must be good.

Ren walked ahead but glanced over his shoulder at him. He seemed calm. Once in their rental car Ren turned to him and said:

- We buy beers, we order a pizza and I'll tell you everything. Okay?

Then he put the first gear and pulled out of the parking lot. He headed north of the city. He was home. On the gigantic 6-lane highway, he found his way without difficulty. Yashiro daydreamed as he saw the signs go by, Beverly Hills, Hollywood. Finally, Ren took the Santa Monica exit and followed the ocean for 200m. The hotel Yashiro had booked was an elegant building on the edge of the Pacific.

Ren parked behind the building, when he got out of the car he was assaulted by the smell of the ocean. It was nice, he had forgotten that smell.

They took their suitcases and asked for their key at the reception. Then, in their room they showered and changed. Ren came timidly to knock on his manager's door. He had gotten beers and pizza as promised.

He took a deep breath and began to apologize to his manager for lying to him. He was born here, in Santa Monica, a posh suburb of LA. His father was a famous actor and his mother, a former model, was a very fashionable stylist.

- I had all the love of my parents, the beauty, the money, the fame... Of course, that made people jealous, and I became the target of the other children. In primary school, since I was also gifted in school, the hatred of the other children was so strong that they beat me. I lied to my parents by saying that I had fallen or that I had been hit in karate. In secondary school I met Rick, he was 20 years old and was a stuntman. He taught me to fight for myself and to stop being a wimp. That's where it went all wrong, I think. I fought in the street, I was strong, my father having taught me karate and Thai boxing. I fought 5 against one and I won. I was fierce, violent, dangerous...

Ren paused. Drank some beer. Closed his eyes, and threw his head back:

- I seduced girls to harm their reputation. Sex had become a mass destruction's weapon. If someone pissed me off, I would sleep with his girlfriend, if he continued, I would sleep with his sister... Once I even went so far as to seduce the mother... I was a demon, the angel of the apocalypse. And the more violent I was, the more violent my life became. Until the day Rick died….

Ren paused, his fingers clenched around his beer can.

- He came to hold me back one day when I almost killed one of those assholes. I ran away, he followed me and didn't see the car coming into the driveway. The noise was deafening, the crash of the car, his body falling onto the concrete, the screeching of tires... And then Tina, Rick's fiancée, who called me a murderer and cast her curse upon me...

Ren took a deep breath, he was pale and his face was full of pain. He continued:

- After that I became a zombie, I let myself die. Out of resources, my father called Lory, the president, who came to get me. Lory told me that if I didn't want to live my life, I could live someone else's and start all over again. That's how I became Ren Tsuruga. But in fact, I'm a murderer, nothing will change that.

Yashiro hadn't touched his pizza, now cold, he looked at Ren, his head in his hands, completely prostrated. He suffered for his friend and searched for the right words to comfort him.

- Ren, it was an accident, you are not a murderer. The Ren I know is just and upright, you have become a good man. The important thing is not what you were but what you chose to be.

To clear his thoughts, he took a sip of beer… American beer wasn't good.

- You're going to use your green eyes to get the role, aren't you?

It was more of a statement than a question.

- Go ahead! Imagine a Kunio as adorable as he is unbearable. Only you can create such a character, and this thanks to your past. Playing Kunio may reconcile you with yourself. It is time that you forgive yourself.

He looked at Ren who was staring at him. Ren smiled softly and said, a little mockingly:

- I'm really impressed, Yukihito, you're the most indiscreet person when it comes to my love life, or rather my lack of love life, and here you react very calmly. Thank you.

- It's also quite obvious that this is our secret, Ren. I won't tell anyone. Yashiro added.

- Yes, it's better…

And with a sarcastic smile Ren added:

- Especially if you want to keep your job...