He assumes that she's asleep when he eventually crawls into bed. Its been a nasty case, abduction and murder. James is convinced he's missed something, and he's been pouring all over his notes since his wife went to bed. But with all the will in the world, there's only so long you can stare at pages of notes, before contact lenses begin to feel like they are serrated. So he'd given up the ghost, and headed for sleep.

Chrissy hadn't stirred when he walked in, nor when he pulled back the covers. She'd had some tricky cases at work herself, and figured that she must have been really tired. Tired enough to sleep through his clumsy bed time routine.

But as he lay there, he realised that it wasn't the case. Her breathing was controlled, too controlled and she hadn't moved at all. Not so much as a twitch. Soon enough, a hitch in her breath signified to him that she wasn't asleep, but doing a good job of pretending to be. A few more hitches and a snuffle and he suddenly realised what was happening.

"What's wrong?" She jumped a little, obviously having thought he was asleep.

"Nothing. Its fine."

"Its not nothing Chris. What's happened? If I've done something I-"

"No...No its nothing you've done."

"Then what?"

"We lost a patient on the ward today, I'm just a bit upset, that's all." James casts his mind back to breakfast the previous morning. Chrissy had been telling him about a patient they had. She hadn't told him the young man's name, she never did, but she'd seemed to think he was going to be ok.

"The young RTC? The man who had-" Oh. "Who had just come back from his honeymoon." She sniffs loudly.

"Yeah, him. Multiple abrasions, concussion, broken femur, ribs. Busted spleen and liver. He was on the donor list but..."

"I'm sorry love" he said, putting a hand on her waist.

"Thought he was going to be fine. Common blood type, otherwise really healthy, everything was improving. But he just, crashed. Three seventeen this afternoon." James scoots closer to her, pressing his body to hers, and giving her a cuddle.

"Must have been horrible, were you on the ward at the time?" She nods, sniffing again, and he hugs her a little tighter. He'd noticed that she'd seemed a little quiet that evening, but he'd put it down to her being tired from two long shifts in a row, and the nightmare that had woken them both up in the early hours of last night. "Why didn't you say something Chris?"

"You were busy with your notes and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Nothing that I'm working on is ever more important that how you're feeling. Promise me you'll say next time...please?" She nods, and he knows that's as much as he'll get. A thought occurs to him.

"What's special about this one?"

"What do you mean?"

"You see RTC's all the time love, how come this one got to you so badly?"

"I had to fill out the forms, write all his information down and inform the next of kin."

"You've done that before though right?" She chokes back a sob and turns over, facing him, but not meeting his eyes. "Hey, hey, what happened? What's got you so upset? Come on love, speak to me, I want to help." After a few minutes she looks up at him, eyes glassy with tears.

"H-His name was...He was called J-James." She starts crying properly, and he holds her, hoping that letting it all out will help.

"I just...I imagined s-someone writing a form like th-that out for you and I-"

"Sssh. Its ok, there's no form. I'm right here, I'm fine." He wriggles a bit and she grabs hold of him.

"Wh-where are you going?"

"Nowhere," he soothes, "I'm just getting into a better position." He sits up a bit on the pillows and gently takes hold of her again, encouraging her to lay her head on his chest. Both his arms go around his wife, in an attempt to make her feel safe.

"...James." He rubs his thumb across her forehead, smiling as her eyes close a little. That's always had an almost magical calming effect on her.

"Hear that?" he says, looking down to see if her head is in the right place. "Heartbeat's loud and strong love. I'm not going anywhere, not anytime soon. Love you too much to leave now." He thinks he hears her mumble that he better not bloody go anywhere without her, before she falls asleep.

Once he's sure his wife is settled, he pulls his kindle out of the bedside table drawer. He can't have a nightmare tonight, he can't wake her up like that tonight. And he sure as hell isn't leaving her to sleep on her own while he takes the sofa, not after that. So he steels himself for a long night of reading and holding the woman he loves.