Hey hey. So cool, those of you who've followed The Lost Preliminaries. Been a while, hope you all can appreciate the update here. Looking back on this, this will be the pivot point for this story - where it begins to really part ways with the canon story. Hope you enjoy!
Oh and ***DISCLAIMER*** I take no ownership of the Naruto brand. I'm just a fanfictionista.
Naruto awoke with a start. Well, not that this was out of the ordinary. Ever since his days in the Academy, many times he'd wake up assuming that he was late for class or overdue for a life-breaking essay or some super-dooper important exam he'd need to pass to keep his dream of being Hokage alive.
But, after re-confirming that he had, in fact, graduated from the Academy, he breathed a sigh of relief. Not that he wanted to scrap all his Academy memories. The Academy was where he first connected with Shikamaru, Choji, and Kiba. Their shared lack of interest in the school part of school united them. It was also where he met the love of his life, Haruno Sakura. He had recently been debating whether he loved her more than he loved ramen, so things were pretty serious.
And then the details of his surroundings hit him all at once. He had awoken in a bed that was not his bed. Much firmer. An open window a few meters bedside let in sunlight and a soft breeze. The room was not too big, but also not small enough that a few people couldn't gather to visit. A typical hospital room. Konoha Hospital, huh? And just beside him, perched on Naruto's side table facing him, was a body.
Naruto nearly leaped out of his bed in fright, but managed to grip the side of his bed and stay in place. Another second and his sense of recognition had caught up with him: perched on his side table was Kakashi-sensei. How long had he been there for? No understanding of personal space. And to top it off, he was reading that pervy romance novel he carried with him everywhere. Clad in his shinobi attire, Konoha headband worn to cover his left eye, Kakashi's one exposed suggesting a smile.
"Yo," Kakashi said simply, raising his hand in a simple wave.
"Kakashi-sensei, what did I ever do to you?"
Kakashi chuckled. "It's good to see you're awake, Naruto. Now, why don't you sit a bit more comfortably – we've got some things to talk about."
Naruto did as he was told. There was an ominous weight to what Kakashi had said. Not a "you're in trouble with Iruka-sensei or Old Man Hokage" kind of tone, but something different. Some new weird feeling he didn't much like.
"I don't remember much from my match, Kakashi-sensei. Why did I end up here?" he asked, as he moved his body toward the top of his hospital bed. He propped up his pillow a bit and leaned back against it to listen. He inwardly prepared himself for this lecture / warning / whatever it was that Kakashi wanted to speak about.
"How are you feeling now?"
"I'm great. I'm better than ever!"
Kakashi shook his head. "Now, Naruto, you just had a big match. You've been unconscious for over 24 hours. It's more than just being ready for the next thing. As shinobi we should always practice being aware of our state. This is how we learn to break genjutsu, for instance. Or how we can gain clues, even from defeat."
Naruto's face fell. His teacher had said the word he didn't want to hear. "So, I lost the match? Against that girl?"
Kakashi nodded. Naruto continued staring at him for some time, shocked into complete silence. That silence evolved into anger. Not long ago, he didn't even know that the Chunin exam existed, but he'd since learned why it should matter to him. After all, he couldn't realistically expect to become Hokage without first becoming a chunin. Especially if he couldn't even overcome the difficulties of this one exam. Especially especially if the shinobi that he cared for and wanted to protect were getting stronger without him.
"Kakashi-sensei, like I said, I'm great. Recovered. And I'm overdue for some new training." Naruto's tightened fists trembled as he spoke. His teeth began to bare on their own. He began to feel the warmth of that chakra again that he'd felt before. "I just need, like, a super jutsu to really take things over the top!"
"No, Naruto. You're not ready. Your performance in the preliminaries proved that to all of us," Kakashi said bluntly.
This took the wind out of Naruto's sail. His fists, shaking with defiance moments before, dropped uselessly by his sides as a tide of tears washed ashore. Despair leaked out in streams down his cheeks and tears fell like raindrops to the bed below. Each tear seemed to bring with it a small part of the memory the match that had been. He remembered the heat of red chakra. He remembered being frozen in place. He remembered feeling victory. He remembered feeling shame.
It felt like he cried on his hospital bed for a long time.
When Naruto wiped his eyes and opened them wide he found his side table empty. Which was good: the last thing he wanted to be was a burden, weighing others down with his own problems. Showing people your bad side was a good way to die lonely.
"Naruto," he heard someone say. He turned to the window to find his sensei had not left the room, but had just silently leaped across. He was perched now on the windowsill, back toward the room. Helpless and embarrassed, Naruto caught his breath, trying to hold back another incoming wave.
"Learn how to control it, to keep it contained, if you want to grow stronger. That will be the focus of your training from this point forward."
Control it? The red, hot chakra he'd felt? But how?
"Kakashi-sensei, how do I control it?" Naruto looked down at his hands, hoping for answers.
"When situations get tough, a ninja controls their emotions. That is your next step."
"But sensei, what is this weird chakra within me? Do other people have —" Naruto looked up to find an empty windowsill. He was left to answer his own questions, it seemed.
Voices from elsewhere in Konoha Hospital reached Naruto's ears. Familiar voices that seemed to be getting closer. He wiped away a few remaining tears from his eyes. Once he wiped his eyes, someone retreated from the doorway of Naruto's room, back into the shadows of the hallway..