(A/N: I do not own Young Justice or any DC Character. That right belongs to Warner Bros).
*4 weeks later, Watchtower*
The alarm clock on the nightstand on the side of Dick's bed rang throughout his quarters which had been completely silent just a moment ago.
"Uuuuuuugh" Dick said as he opened his eyes, groaned, rolled over and hit the button to make it stop.
However, even as the noise stopped, he still lied in his bed in his private quarters, just staring at the ceiling.
Despite the weeks that had passed, it almost didn't seem to feel real. The funeral at the Kent household, the public memorial, the lightning of the hologram in the Watchtower. It still seemed too surreal just like it was when Wally…disappeared. Just a few months ago, he was speaking to Conner, playfully teasing him about how he was sounding more like a leader every day, like 'Big Blue' and him rebutting him that leading 'wasn't his role'. The memory made him smile…but it also made him feel as empty as he did when he woke up every morning.
The last few weeks were not exactly easy and the session with Dinah hadn't really helped all that much. Of course, she told him all the things she could say, about how she was heartbroken upon learning of his passing, that grieving is normal, that we should remember the good times and honor his memory. It was the usual stuff. However, it didn't really help.
While he hadn't told anyone else this, Dick couldn't help but blame himself. If he had sent Steel down to Mars after all to see what had been happening, he or the others with him might've caught something, might've saved him. Of course, he knew that was reaching a bit but that was truly how he felt…and he knew Dinah caught up on that (Because as a licensed therapist, of course she did) and assured him that it wasn't his fault. However, it might as well have gone in one ear and out the other because it sure didn't help.
It seemed M'Gann was still grieving as well because he wasn't even sure if she had even left Mars yet. Garfield had arrived back a few weeks prior and apparently hasn't left the Premiere Building since. He was of course scheduled to do his mental health evaluation with Dinah but Dick knew he needed time to grieve before doing something like that. It probably wasn't healthy to lock himself in his home like a hermit, he knew…but honestly, with how he's been the last few weeks, who was he to judge?
Shortly after informing the entire League of Conner's death, Dick had moved out of his apartment and practically moved into the Watchtower, placing his belongings as well as his SUV at Wayne Manor. It made sense anyway, in his opinion. This way he could coordinate missions as well as do mission briefings with the Team and Outsiders easily. Besides, he didn't have to pay rent anymore either so that was a big plus to him.
While he realized this wasn't the healthiest of life choices, it's not like he shut himself into his quarters. He went on missions, still performed at Haly's Circus, he still talked every once in a while with his friends (Although a lot of them were still grieving themselves so it was kind of hard to maintain contact for the first few weeks). However, as he told himself, he was mostly on the road to accepting what had happened. It was a temporary solution anyway. It wasn't like this was going to be doing this for the rest of his life or anything.
Finally, he got up from his bed and looked at himself in the mirror. A small goatee had been forming on his face since…the incident. Dick didn't really see the use of shaving anymore. After all, he was single and there was now no nagging girlfriend trying to convince him to shave it off. Sure it got itchy now and then but it's not like it was any worse than the occasional shaving cut (It was actually less painful now that he thought about it).
After a shower and changing into his casual clothes (He wasn't scheduled for a meeting and he had assigned missions just before going to sleep so everything was covered for now. Besides, Black Lightning was getting better at being more independent with being a Co-Leader of the League). He saw Kaldur, who had also been in casual clothes, looking over Conner's hologram.
Mentally, Dick sighed as this wasn't the first thing he wanted to focus on since waking up. However, it had been some time since he and Kaldur had a heart to heart talk and really, he felt like he needed to talk to someone he could relate to. Kaldur had always been like an older brother to him much like Wally and Conner (Despite the fact that Conner had always been technically younger than Dick, being a clone and all) but Kaldur was now the only one he had left…and in a sense, Dick was the only 'brother' in a sense Kaldur had left. It almost seemed like they needed each other right now.
Dick walked over to him, standing behind him a few feet. He didn't say a word as they both stared at the realistic hologram of Conner, standing beside the hologram of Wally, Tula, Jason, Ted and more. It was a very somber view, seeing all that passed in the name of goodwill. The sight brought back old memories that he had with Wally, Conner and Jason. Some good, some bad…but they had all always been there for each other. To have them all gone and so early in their life….the thought brought a few more tears to Dick's face.
After standing, staring and reminiscing memories, Kaldur finally began to speak.
"I see you're adjusting to your new 'home' well" Kaldur said as he continued staring up at Conner's hologram.
Dick raised an eyebrow. "How did you-"
Kaldur sighed as he turned around to face one of his oldest friends.
"My friend, I believe I've known you long enough to sense when you are near, even with all your skills…besides, I heard someone walking behind me and there's only one person on record that's been sleeping at the Watchtower" Kaldur said in an ever so slightly reprimanding tone.
Dick stared at him just for a few moments before speaking.
"It's only temporary, Kaldur" Dick attempted to explain to Kaldur's unconvinced face.
"As is the goatee, I imagine. Tell me, have you spoken to anyone besides Dinah lately, Dick?" Kaldur asked.
"I managed to get a signal from the Javelin to Mars to speak with M'Gann. I also spoke with Artemis, Raquel and Will" Dick answered to the original leader of the Team who just raised an eyebrow at this.
"Not Zatanna?" Kaldur asked to which Dick fell silent to as he wasn't able to answer.
Knowing this, Kaldur sighed and shook his head.
"Dick, she still cares for you. You know that" Kaldur insisted.
"She's been busy with League missions along with training her students" Dick weakly replied to which Kaldur scoffed.
"That's nonsense. You admit to having spoken with both Artemis and Raquel and they're both just as busy if not more with Artemis leading the team and Raquel preparing for a peace conference on New Genesis" Kaldur rebutted.
"What does it matter? We've barely actually spoken to each other since we broke up, Kaldur. You know that. She only talks to me nowadays during mission briefings and League meetings. Hell, the only times she talks to me as a friend anymore is during my birthday during the years she decides to surprise me with a spontaneous birthday kiss or at private parties we set up for the original Team" Dick said, snapping just a little.
Kaldur stayed silent to this, taking in Dick's word, sensing he may have struck a nerve (Which Dick felt might've been his goal the whole time). After a few moments, Kaldur spoke up again.
"My friend, I know you were heartbroken when Zatanna ended her relationship with you. You didn't go on missions for a few weeks after…but you do know it hurt her as well. She put herself on leave from the Team shortly after as well. You know that" Kaldur replied to Dick's rant.
This only increased Dick's frustration. "Oh please, she was glad to be rid of me. During our one year together, she increasingly grew more distant from me. Dodging half of my calls, constantly leaving my texts on read. She shut me out completely when she ended it"
"Have you ever considered why she might have broken up with you? She never really did talk about it with anyone and M'Gann never did want to invade her mind to find out" Kaldur asked, opening up the floor for a greater discussion.
"How am I supposed to know that, Kaldur? When she broke up with me, she gave me the typical 'it's not you, it's me' and 'she still wanted to be friends' crap. She also pretty much locked herself off from me as after that, it was almost always me that had to initiate even a conversation between us. Our so-called 'friendship' was nothing more than a pity friendship" Dick said, getting increasingly frustrated as feelings he held about his and Zatanna's break up from the past resurfaced.
It was true, Dick noted to himself. Dick and Zatanna's 'friendship' was really more of an acquaintanceship than an actual friendship as they barely spoke anymore. He even spoke more often with Raquel as they actually did have more a mutual break up as it only lasted six months or so. It had just been too awkward as they saw themselves more as friends. It was a more of a rebound relationship anyway as Dick was still recovering from his breakup with Zatanna and Raquel was coping with her failed attempts to gain Kaldur's attention. They left on much better terms than him and Zatanna, he thought. He even visited her and her son after her engagement had been called off.
"I'm just saying it might be more complicated than you're putting it. It usually is with these sorts of things. Simply because you stop seeing each other doesn't mean you cease being friends. Just to give an example, you know I was heartbroken when I discovered Tula had been with Garth but we ended up having a wonderful friendship despite my feelings" Kaldur said, trying to relate to him a bit.
"That's different. Tula made an attempt to be your friend, Zatanna barely gives me a phone call or text unless it's for my birthday or she needs to tell me about a mission or something. She's made it quite clear that she wants nothing to do with me" Dick said, rolling his eyes.
"I don't believe that to be true. She speaks nothing but good things about you and whenever she talks about you and her, she appears to be sad that the both of you went your separate ways" Kaldur said, sad that Dick felt this way about what they hoped was a mutual friend.
Dick rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, Kaldur but I don't see that. Not from her. I just don't. Listen, I really don't want to seem like a jerk and I don't want to speak badly about Zatanna, I really don't but I'm not interested in discussing what relationship we may or may not have anymore"
Kaldur stared at Dick for a few more moments in silence before nodding. "Of course…I apologize for bringing it up"
Dick shrugged off his apology, suddenly calming down. "No worries…sorry for snapping"
Kaldur did the same. "I guess I must contact King Orin in Atlantis. There's a peace conference going on in Poseidonis tomorrow and I need to discuss the details with him as I am included in the meeting as Aquaman"
Dick nodded. "Understood"
"If I may suggest something, I think talking to Artemis might do you some good. As I hear, her and some members of the Team have been…busy recently with the League of Shadows" Kaldur said with a hesitant look on his face as he looked to not be sure if he should even say this or not.
Suddenly, Dick grew curious (And concerned). The League of Shadows? There had been a mission regarding the Shadows going on without his knowledge? With a group like that, someone in the League had to be informed.
"The Shadows? Neither me nor Jeff were informed of this, I don't think" Dick replied.
"She told me just yesterday. She wanted to keep it a secret for reasons I'm not quite sure of. She told me she was working on how to tell you" Kaldur responded to his friend's inquiry.
Dick considered this and nodded. This was definitely worth questioning Artemis about, especially since this was done without League approval (Although he knew he was being hypocritical here).
"Alright…thank you for the suggestion, Kaldur. I'll speak to Artemis about this" Dick said, gratefully for the suggestion.
After shaking hands, Dick turned and left for the Zeta Tubes. The younger man set the coordinates for Star City and entered through.
"Recognized, Nightwing 28" The computer said as the young man disappeared as he was teleported to Earth.
Kaldur just sighed as he stared at the tube. This was more disturbing than he initially thought. He had always known Dick secretly held resentment towards Zatanna but he wasn't even speaking to her even after Conner's death, someone they both considered to be one of their best friends growing up.
This was troubling. He needed to speak with Dinah about this and possibly more. It wasn't healthy for Dick to shut his friends out despite however he may have thought about his and Zatanna's current relationship. He didn't know if it was time for an intervention but it might have to come to that.