A/N: I'm not sure if I should include a possible trigger warning? This chapter does include a vague description of an assault.
Over the next week or so the two women fell into an easy routine. They both got up early in the mornings, Amanda would take Frannie for a walk and Liv would prepare breakfast for them all. They traded off on watching Noah while they took it in turns to shower and dress for work until Lucy arrived.
Most days a couple of mouthfuls of cereal was about all the younger woman could stomach, and Olivia was growing increasingly worried. She had heard Amanda a couple of times in the early hours, throwing up in the bathroom, and had seen her hurrying to the restroom at the precinct on more than one occasion. She longed to go in and offer the blonde some comfort, but until Amanda chose to open up to her, Liv swore to herself she would not interfere.
Amanda seemed more tired lately, and often dozed off in front of the tv after dinner. Fortunately, they hadn't had any new cases so far this week, which meant they could spend most of their work day in the precinct, and were able to leave at a reasonable time at the end of the day, not to mention a rare, restful weekend.
Around 11am on the following Monday morning, Olivia received a call about a case. After jotting down the details, she walked out into the squad room to see that the only detective there was Amanda. Approaching the blonde's desk, she peered over the top of her glasses at the southern woman and asked, "where are the guys?". She observed Amanda for a moment, noticing the pale complexion and dark rings around her eyes. As she scrutinised Amanda's appearance, she thought the younger woman looked drawn and tired.
"Fin is in court with Barba for the Woods trial and Carisi is at 1PP on a course." Amanda replied, not looking up from her computer as she worked, until she heard a quiet sigh from her Lieutenant. "What's up, Liv?"
"We've got a case." Olivia replied. "I was gonna see if one of the guys would go with me to Mercy but…" she gestured to their deserted desks, "it's fine, I can go on my own."
"I can go with you," Amanda suggested.
"That's okay," Liv said quickly, "I'll be fine by myself; you stay here and— hold down the fort." She had been about to say 'take it easy', but she knew that would go down like a lead balloon, so she changed tack at the last second.
Amanda frowned, "I'm sure the unis can handle it; besides, I could do with a break from this anyway," She indicated the screen where she was comparing phone records, "I've been staring at these numbers for so long I'm starting to go cross-eyed."
Liv sighed internally, but didn't argue, she knew she had to pick her battles with the stubborn blonde, and this one would just lead to more trouble. Besides, maybe some fresh air would do Amanda some good. "Okay, just let me get my coat." She said, retreating to her office to grab her woollen trench coat and her keys.
As they descended in the elevator Liv filled Amanda in on the details of the case that she had so far. "Twenty-two-year-old female, Jamie Stevens, brought in early this morning after being found unconscious in the alley behind a bar in the village, one of the bar staff found her when he went to take the trash out."
"What bar?" The blonde asked.
"Uh," Liv checked her notes, "Bar 13?" she shrugged, not recognising the name.
As they walked to their blue Ford Crown Vic, Amanda asked a follow up question. "Did the bartender know if she had been inside the club at all?"
"Yeah, he said that he'd seen her earlier in the night but wasn't sure what time she left, or if she was with anyone." Liv replied, glancing at her notes.
Once in the car the two women lapsed into a comfortable silence. Given it was mid-morning, the traffic wasn't too bad and they made it to Mercy in less than twenty minutes. Amanda spent most of the journey with her head back against the head rest, facing the window. Olivia suspected the younger woman had dozed off, so she didn't speak throughout the whole car ride, hoping to let Amanda rest as much as possible.
As the car pulled up outside the hospital the blonde was roused from her semi-conscious state. Sitting up she looked around, noticing they had arrived, she glanced over at the brunette in the driver's seat, "sorry," she muttered, embarrassed that she had fallen asleep, "I didn't sleep very well last night."
Olivia, who had heard the younger woman get up just after 3am, then again just before 6am, merely smiled at Amanda. "No problem," she said, "we all have the occasional rough night, comes with the territory," She knew full well that it wasn't the job playing on Amanda's mind that was keeping her blonde detective up at night, but she felt she needed to offer the younger woman an excuse. This would be so much easier if she knew that I knew.
They made their way into the hospital and found the doctor that was dealing with their victim. After a brief conversation about the Rape Kit they had performed, which had revealed vaginal bruising and was positive for semen, the doctor pointed them to a curtained cubicle.
Jamie Stevens was sat up in bed, absentmindedly prodding at her split lower lip with her forefinger. Her dark red hair hung lankly, matted in places, and her grey-green eyes were wide darting around the room. Amanda's well-trained eye recognised the behaviour as hyper-vigilance, typical of an assault victim. The redhead had flinched when the two cops rounded the curtain into her cubicle, then winced as the movement caused her pain.
Amanda hung back slightly, allowing Olivia to take the lead. The older woman stepped cautiously to the side of the bed, not wishing to startle their victim further with any sudden movements. "Hi, Miss Stevens?" She asked softly. When the young girl in the bed nodded slightly in confirmation, Olivia continued. "I'm Lieutenant Benson, this is my colleague Detective Rollins, we're from Manhattan Special Victims Unit. We understand you were assaulted last night?"
There was a beat of silence, before the young woman burst into tears. "I-I d-don't re-remember!" She sobbed, hysterically. The lieutenant reached forward and took her hand, gently, hoping to help ground her, while Amanda moved to a table in the corner, grabbing the box of tissues and offering it to the redhead. She sniffled and took a couple, wiping her eyes and nose. "W-why can't I remember?" She whispered.
"Sometimes," Liv began in her deep, soothing voice, "when we experience something traumatic, our brains try to protect us by repressing the memory of it. Sometimes it will come back in pieces, and sometimes not at all, but try not to worry. Can you tell me the last thing you do remember about last night?"
"Um, we… we were going out to celebrate," Jamie said in a shaky voice.
"Who's 'we'?" Liv asked, taking out her notebook to jot down details.
"Me and my roommate, Amber. I got promoted at work and she said we should go out because I've been working so hard lately." The redhead looked down at her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers together in discomfort. "We had a few drinks at the bar, I… I don't really like to dance but Amber does, so she made me do some tequila shots to 'loosen me up'," her tone was bitter by the end of her sentence.
Amanda moved closer to the bed as a sudden wave of nausea hit her. She grasped the rail on the side for support, swallowing hard, willing herself desperately not to throw up. Liv had noticed the blonde's movement in her peripheral vision but tried to remain focused on their victim as she continued with the story of the worst night of her life.
"We danced for a while, I don't know how long, then we went back to the bar and…" Jamie paused, a frown on her face. "I… I met a guy; someone I sort of knew from work. He congratulated me on my promotion and bought me a drink. Then it gets kind of fuzzy. I remember being outside with somebody, I don't know who." She ghosted a hand over her damaged lip once more. "I felt the pain, something hit my face…" her voice trailed off, she closed her eyes frowning slightly. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she looked up at the lieutenant, "the rest is a blank until I woke up here."
"Okay, you did really well, Jamie." Liv smiled at the young woman, patting her hand, gently. "Do you know the name of the man from work?"
"Um, Sean," she screwed up her face in concentration, "Sean… Perry, I think."
Amanda walked away from the bed to lean against the far wall, her legs felt a little unsteady and her head was swimming. The brunette glanced up worriedly at her detective as she made a note of the name then turned back to Jamie, "and where was Amber when you were talking to Sean?"
"She was there to start with," Jamie said, "I remember her walking away to answer her phone, but I don't remember her coming back."
Amanda threw a pointed look at her lieutenant, who gave an almost imperceptible nod in return, acknowledging that this small detail had sounded alarm bells in her own mind. It was a little too convenient for either of the cops' liking that Amber would be called away just before Jamie was attacked.
"I think we have enough to be getting on with for now," Liv said kindly to the redhead in the bed, holding out a card to the girl. "We're gonna leave you to get some rest, but if you think of anything else or you need to talk, my numbers are on there," she indicated on the white card. Giving the girl's hand one last reassuring squeeze she smiled and stood to leave; her blonde detective trailing in her wake.
As they made their way along the corridor, Olivia fell into step next to Amanda. When the blonde stumbled slightly, Liv looked across at her colleague with concern, "Manda are you okay?"
Forcing a small smile, so as not to panic her boss, Amanda looked back at the brunette. "I'm fine, Liv, just a little lightheaded."
"Did you eat anything yet today?" Liv enquired.
"Um, not much," the blonde muttered, focusing on remaining upright as another wave of dizziness washed over her. She stopped walking and put a hand out to the wall to help support herself. She hated looking weak, but it was especially embarrassing in front of Olivia, who had already witnessed too many occasions where she had been upset or injured.
"Amanda," Liv admonished her, softly. "You need to start taking better care of yourself." She placed a supportive hand on the younger woman's shoulder, looking around for a member of staff. "Maybe we should get you checked over while we're here…"
"No! No doctors, Liv!" The blonde almost shouted causing Olivia's head to snap back to look at her detective, just in time to see her eyes roll back into her head and watch her begin to fall.
A/N: Let me know what you think so far guys! Thanks for reading.