A/N: Once again, no medical training, never been pregnant, or been particularly close to anyone who has, it just felt right for the story.
"Of course I'll stay," the brunette murmured, smiling as she brushed a lock of hair away from Amanda's anxious face and tucked it behind her ear.
The doctor had been occupied with setting up the ultrasound machine, but now she turned to Amanda. "Okay, detective, I need you to lay back down, lift your shirt and unbutton your pants and push them down just below your hips." The blonde did as she was told, then Linda tucked a blue paper sheet into the top of her pants to protect the clothing from the gel. As soon as she was settled into position, Amanda reached for Liv's hand once more.
Olivia moved to stand by the younger woman's side, one hand on her shoulder, the other clasped in Amanda's grip. She smiled reassuringly at the blonde, who still seemed a bit dazed.
"This will be a little cold," Dr Mills said apologetically as she squirted the gel onto the southern woman's still flat abdomen. Olivia saw all Amanda's stomach muscles contract as the chilly substance hit her, then relax. It took a few minutes of moving the transducer around Amanda's lower abdomen, Dr Mills staring intently at the screen as she did so, then she turned the screen towards the two expectant women. "and… there is your baby." She said with a smile.
Olivia beamed, tears in her deep chocolate eyes, she looked down at a gasp from Amanda, who had covered her mouth with her free hand, eyes wide in amazement as tears ran freely down her pale cheeks, which dimpled as she smiled widely, despite her inner turmoil. She let out a half laughing, half sobbing noise from the back of her throat and Liv slipped her arm across the smaller woman's shoulders squeezing them in a one-armed hug.
Dr Mills began pointing out the parts that they could see – the head, the spine, two tiny arms, that looked more like fins and two stubby little legs. As she pointed to the screen to show them where the umbilical cord was attached, the foetus began to wiggle around, waving its little limbs. Amanda laughed out loud through her tears as Liv grinned and said quietly to her friend, "Look, he's waving at you!"
When Dr Mills refocused the sensor again, they could all see a tiny fluttering movement right in the middle of the minute body. "Would you like to hear your baby's heartbeat?" The doctor asked. Amanda nodded, redoubling her grip around Liv's fingers in an attempt to stop her hand from trembling. Dr Mills adjusted a dial on the machine and the room was filled with a fast, rhythmic whooshing sound.
"It's so fast," Amanda said in a panicked tone, "is it okay?"
The doctor patted her arm with a warm smile, "It's perfectly normal," she checked the screen, "168 bpm at the moment. We would expect anything between 120 and 190, depending how active baby is being. As you saw earlier, you've got yourself a little wriggler." She laughed. "I'm just going to take some quick measurements now; I'll just be a couple of minutes." She hung the transducer up, turned the screen back to herself and started pressing buttons.
Olivia passed Amanda some tissue to clean the gel off her stomach and Amanda redressed herself properly. She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
"Alright," Dr Mills turned to face Amanda, "The baby is about two and a half centimetres long," she said holding her thumb and forefinger about an inch apart. "That puts you at around nine weeks pregnant, does that sound about right?"
The blonde did some quick calculations in her head then nodded. She swallowed as she looked sideways at Olivia, a guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"You should still book an appointment with your regular OB-GYN, they will be able to take more accurate measurements and calculate your due date," the doctor continued, "I've written you the scripts I mentioned earlier for the anti-emetics and iron tablets. I also want you to get started on a pre-natal vitamin regimen, if you haven't already, but they are available over the counter."
She passed the blonde two pieces of paper. "Oh, and I almost forgot… here." With a smile she handed each woman a photo, a still frame from the ultrasound, showing the baby's hand raised. "I thought you might like to keep these." The doctor still seemed under the impression they were a couple, and neither of them corrected her.
As Linda wheeled the ultrasound machine from the room, the doctor checked the IV that was still in the detective's arm. "This should be finished in about twenty minutes," she said, "after that I'll be happy to discharge you, but I recommend you take the rest of the day off work, rest."
"I'll make sure of it, doctor," Liv assured the dark-haired medic. Amanda scowled, but didn't say anything.
The doctor then removed a pamphlet from her lab coat pocket, handing it to Amanda she said, "This should give you some ideas of foods to avoid as well as foods to try and add in to your diet. Try tracking what you eat, it may help you to weed out those foods that upset your stomach. Do you have any questions for me?"
Both women shook their heads no, so she continued. "Very well, I'll send Linda back in a while to take the IV out and to sort your discharge papers. Best of luck to you detectives." And with a last smile, she left the room.
There was a slightly awkward silence once the two were left alone. Liv moved to sit back down in the plastic chair beside the bed as Amanda watched her. "So…" the blonde began in an attempt to break the tension. "We're a couple now?" She said with a smirk.
"Um," Liv flushed a little, Amanda thought it made her look beautiful. "I told them you were my partner. Not my fault they misinterpreted my meaning." The brunette justified. "Besides, if I had corrected them, they would have made me leave, and there was no way I was gonna leave you alone. Damn it, Rollins," Liv admonished playfully, smacking the blonde's knee lightly, "don't you ever scare me like that again!"
"Sorry, Babe," the blonde giggled, mockingly. "It won't happen again."
Olivia joined in with the laughter, but she couldn't help but enjoy the term of endearment as it fell from the younger woman's lips, even if it was said in jest.
"Liv?" The brunette looked up into moist blue eyes. "I'm sorry…" Amanda said quietly. When Olivia looked puzzled, she continued, "for yelling at you earlier. I know you aren't trying to catch me fucking up. I just… I…" She trailed off, not knowing what she was trying to say.
"You were scared and you were worried," Liv filled in, knowingly. "And when you are scared, you automatically go into defensive mode and lash out at those closest to you?"
"Uh, yeah," the blonde said, going slightly pink and looking ashamed, "I guess so. I didn't mean to attack you Liv. You've been nothing but kind to me and this is how I repay you? I really am a Class A bitch. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Liv reached out to take her hand once again. "I get it, and I don't blame you." She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she looked to find Fin had sent her a message, wondering where the two women were.
When she let out a sigh, Amanda looked up at her. "What's up?" The blonde asked.
"Fin wants to know what's taking so long." Liv explained. "I texted him earlier to say we had been held up at the hospital. I didn't think you would want the others to know what happened."
"Thanks," Amanda said gratefully. "Maybe tell him there was a rush on at the hospital and it took ages to get the rape kit processed and released? Then we went for lunch on the way back to the precinct?"
"That might work," Liv frowned, "except you aren't going back to the precinct."
"What? Why?" Amanda asked.
"Manda, I promised I'd make sure you went home to rest." The brunette explained. "I won't let you make a liar of me."
"But Liv, I'm fine." The blonde huffed, indignantly.
"You won't be if you don't look after yourself," the older woman retorted, "Amanda please, don't argue with me on this." She said quickly as she saw the younger woman about to answer back. "It's just one afternoon, then you can come back to work tomorrow. For now please, just rest. If not for yourself, do it for the baby's sake?"
The blonde glared at her, "that's a cheap shot, Liv, and you know it." She folded her arms sulkily, and Olivia knew she'd won. If Amanda was perfectly honest with herself, she was exhausted. She had been up half the night, puking her guts up, so going home to rest didn't sound so bad. She just didn't want to appear weak in front of this woman she had developed such strong feelings for.
"If it works, I'll use it." The lieutenant chuckled.
"So what're you gonna tell Fin?" Amanda asked, sounding more anxious than angry now. Fin was her partner, he would worry if Olivia turned up at the precinct without her, and would start asking questions. Questions she wasn't yet ready to answer.
Liv thought for a moment, then seemed to make a decision. "Right, I'm gonna take you home," she paused to give the younger woman a warning look, in case she started arguing. "Then I'm gonna take the rape kit down to the lab, and go straight from there to Jamie's apartment to talk to the roommate, Amber." She said, checking her notes for the name. "I'm gonna send Fin and Carisi to canvass the bar, check security footage and interview staff. None of us will be back at the precinct for a while. If he asks where you are then, I'll tell him you had to go for an appointment."
She had just opened the text message app on her phone to reply to Fin when Linda came in. "Hi there, detective," the kindly older nurse said, smiling at Amanda, "I've come to remove your IV, and I need you to sign your release forms."
She put her clipboard down on the bedside table then quickly and efficiently removed the needle from Amanda's arm, pressing a cotton wool ball to the puncture wound. "Just hold that there for me, honey." She said warmly. The blonde took over holding the ball in place while the nurse peeled the backing off a band aid. "Alright you can take it away now." She quickly replaced the cotton ball with the band aid, smoothing it gently to the pale skin of the younger woman's arm. "All done. I just need you to sign here." She indicated the papers on the bedside table.
Amanda reached for the pen and scrawled her signature on the line while Olivia gathered their things and Linda disposed of the waste. She held out a hand to take the clipboard from Amanda and said, "by the way, I just wanted to congratulate you two on the baby." She smiled. "My daughter and her wife have been trying to get pregnant using artificial insemination for a few months now. No luck so far," her smile grew a little sad, "but it's nice to see that it can work." She gestured towards the blonde's midsection. "Anyway, best of luck to you all, I'm sure you'll make wonderful parents."
"Oh, we're…" Liv began, but Amanda cut across her.
"We're thrilled," She said quickly, with a bright smile. Then in her best southern accent, she turned to Olivia, "Come on, honey, we better get goin'," and with that she took hold of the stunned brunette's hand, interlacing their fingers and pulling her from the room. "Thanks, for all your help, Linda." She called over her shoulder to the nurse. "Wish your daughter good luck from us."
She didn't let go of Olivia's hand, or make eye contact with the brunette until they were stood outside the front entrance to the hospital. She had felt the lieutenant's eyes boring into the side of her head as they rode the crowded elevator down to the first floor, but the older woman hadn't said anything, nor had she made any move to break the connection of their hands.
Once outside though, Olivia had removed her hand from Amanda's then used it to tuck her dark curtain of hair behind her ear, in a seemingly nervous gesture. "Um, Rollins, what the hell was that?" She asked in a bewildered tone as they walked towards their car.
"What?" Amanda replied, as though it was obvious, "oh, come on Liv, did you see her face? She is obviously doubting that A.I. will work for her daughter, it doesn't hurt to leave her with a little hope. She doesn't need to know that this," she indicated her abdomen with a wave of her hand, "is the result of a drunken one-night stand."
Olivia's investigative instincts tingled at this snippet of information, one-night stand, huh? She thought, but didn't pass comment. "I was actually referring to the hand holding part." She clarified.
"Oh," Amanda blushed, prettily. "Well I was just keeping up appearances, I guess." She said, not meeting Liv's eye. "Anyway," she added as an afterthought, "you started that, you must have done a pretty good impression of the doting girlfriend while I was unconscious if they let you stay without a fight."
Now it was Olivia's turn to blush. "Yeah well," she stuttered, defensively, "I just know that if it was me, I wouldn't have wanted to be left on my own. Unconscious or not."
Amanda reached out and squeezed the brunette's upper arm, "I do appreciate it, Liv," she said, sincerely. "I guess I'm just not used to having someone around who cares."
"Well get used to it, Rollins," Liv smiled, bumping shoulders lightly with the blonde, "because I'm not going anywhere, and that's a promise."
They reached the car then, Liv got in the driver's side and Amanda in the other. Olivia drove back to her apartment building, all the while chatting about theories for the case they had just picked up. She stopped at the pharmacy a couple of blocks from her place to get Amanda's prescriptions filled before continuing the journey home.
As Liv pulled up at the curb outside her building, Amanda sighed, "you're not gonna change your mind, are you?" She asked her boss in a resigned voice.
"Not a chance," Liv grinned at the blonde, "get upstairs and get some rest, eat something if you can and call me if you need anything. Lucy should be back with Noah at around 3pm. I'll text her and let her know you'll be home."
The younger woman nodded and made to open the door. She suddenly felt as though she could sleep for a week.
"Manda," Liv stopped her with a gentle hand on her knee, making goosebumps erupt up Amanda's spine. "It's all gonna be okay, you know? We'll figure this out."
"I know," Amanda smiled, almost shyly at the brunette. "Thanks Liv. I'll see you later."