22nd chapter

Despite Caroline's initial thoughts, the first few weeks passed rather quickly. She slowly got accustomed to her new self. The former feeding schedule of twice a day, could be reduced to once a day and even then, she stretched the times more and more. Whenever she fed, it was a complete mess, though. She managed to feed less regularly, but the smell of the blood alone, was making her go insane. She always tried to remain calm in front of the cells, but as soon as she breathed in, she lost control. And she hated it, she hated it more than anything, which only worsened her situation in that moment.

Over the course of those weeks, her guilt slowly lessened as well, somehow her body and inner beast convinced her, that it was a necessity, she couldn't change. It wasn't that she enjoyed the feedings, but the remorse she felt after wasn't as obtrusive. She also completely ignored the dead bodies after, not looking at them in order to get over it.

She was undeniable glad, though, that she could walk through the castle without feeling threatened by the presence of the other vampires. Luckily for her at that point, there was no new secretary yet, so she could roam the castle, without the fear of accidently killing the human. She knew it probably wouldn't take long, before they hired a new one, but for the time being, she enjoyed it. What she felt sorry for, though, was that Heidi had to get on fishing trips regularly to satisfy her current need for blood. That was another reason, why she wanted to get control over it as soon as possible. To be honest, she didn't have the opportunity to meet Heidi again, yet. It was something, she missed deeply. She wanted to apologize for making her work more.

A deep sigh left Caroline's throat as she paced through the living room. She wasn't allowed to leave her room alone, just to make sure, she wouldn't accidently catch the smell of the humans outside. Through narrowed eyes, she stared at the walls as she walked up and down. Her movements were smooth, but also full of anger and despair; she felt nervous somehow. She just checked her eye color in the bathroom mirror and noticed their darker shade and she made a mental note. The burning in her throat lessened more and more as well. It was two days ago, since she last fed and she smiled to herself as pride filled her whole body. She would make it, she saw progress, she just had to keep practicing.

A knock on her door forced her attention away from her inner monologue. "Come in," she said as soon as she recognized the smell and she turned completely to look at her visitor. Demetri looked at the woman, standing close to the fireplace. A small smile was on his face, as he heard her formerly pacing and muttering. "You're making progress," he affirmed and Caroline smiled proudly. "Doing my best," she replied, wondering what he might want. "I have a mission, nothing extraordinary, but I won't be around for quite some time." His voice was steady as he looked at her, with his usual posture. "Felix and Santiago will take care of you," he started but he was interrupted in an instant. Caroline pouted at his words. "I am no pet, no one needs to take care of me," she hissed at him. Her whole body seethed with anger; her hands clenched into fists but she remained on the spot. A smirk spread on his face. "Do we really have to go through this discussion again?", he asked and looked at her playfully.

They stared at each for a minute, until Caroline let out a long, slightly frustrated, sigh. She closed her eyes to relax her body; she wouldn't fall for his teasing, she needed to be calm. "Impressive," Demetri stated and tilted his head slightly. Caroline ignored his comment as she opened her eyes again. "You wanted to say?", she asked. Her body was even more relaxed than before and she felt great about that. Demetri couldn't hide his amusement but deep down, a part of him was proud about her control. "Like I said," he started again. "I have a mission and will leave today. I don't know how long it will take. I just wanted to inform you, that either Felix or Santiago will take you to the dungeons. Felix will probably take you to the training sessions of the lower guards as well." He was slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be able to watch her first training session; the look on the guards' faces would be priceless.

It was only then, that Caroline realized what he said. He wouldn't be around for some time, her most important support since she woke up as a vampire. She gulped slightly, as worry filled her eyes. "Will you be alright?", she asked, looking hopefully at him. He chuckled lightly as he got closer to her. "What? Are you concerned of my well-being, little doe?", he asked back, his voice lower than before. "No," Caroline answered quickly and turned her head to the side. She knew if she held her gaze, he would see the lie; but she was almost certain that he already knew. He stopped right in front of her, with a smile he observed her childish behavior, that he learned to adore and use to his advantage. "Did your gift warn you in any way?", he asked. His eyes still focused on her face and he knew if she was still human, she would be a blushing mess by now.

Caroline's mind raced, she knew he was only teasing her, she hated that it was so easy for him and her body so willingly obliged. She screamed inwardly at herself to get a grip, before she turned to face him again. "No, it didn't," she replied but mentioning her gift only made her think more. Since her eyes turned red, she didn't have any vision. Maybe that was a good sign, as nothing bad would happen, but she still wondered if those visions really transferred over to her immortal being. "See," Demetri said after a while. "Nothing will happen, everything will be fine." His eyes lowered from her face to his mark on her neck and he felt satisfaction and pride rise inside of him. His chin rose involuntarily and a smirk spread on his face. Caroline furrowed her brows at his behavior but before she could ask, he retreated back to the door. With his hand on the handle, he looked over at the woman once more. "Keep up with your progress, I expect a lot from you when I return." With these words he disappeared and Caroline could only stare at the spot he had stood at.

The days passed and with a halfhearted smile, Caroline thanked Santiago for escorting her to the dungeons and back to her room. He only nodded at her and left her alone. Caroline didn't know if she did anything to him, that could upset him in any way, but she shrugged it off. She couldn't and wouldn't befriend everyone, as long as they kept their communications formal. She was partly proud of her current feeding, though. She managed to keep at least her jeans clean and her shirt wasn't completely soaked in blood. Slowly but steadily, she would be able to control herself properly. She smiled happily, when she stood in her bathroom. She washed the blood off of her skin and changed into clean clothes. It had been almost a week, since Demetri had left and Caroline couldn't help it but feel bored. As long as she wasn't in full control of her emotions and actions, she wasn't allowed outside of her room on her own, but as long as she couldn't get outside, she wouldn't be able to train her mind and grow bored instead.

She sighed and went to the window, with half-closed eyes, she looked in the garden. She wished she could explore it in the near future, especially since it would be spring soon and the flowers would bloom. Caroline glanced at the calendar next to the clock in the kitchen. A small smile spread on her face as she recognized that Easter was only two weeks away. Then again, she wondered if any of the vampires in the castle even cared anymore. She remembered that time when she was a child. Her grandfather had always hidden the chocolate and presents that well, that she had barely found them. Sometimes, she had even grown frustrated and her mother had helped her secretly, knowing how eager her own father could be when it came to hiding things. Caroline chuckled at the thought, though her memory wasn't as clear to her anymore. It seemed almost dull, like all memories from her human past.

Caroline was completely engulfed in her memories, when a knock on the door could be heard. A little startled by the sudden sound, she twitched and turned around. She didn't recognize the scent, but it seemed so familiar. With furrowed brows, she opened the door, before her face lit up immediately.

"Hey," Heidi said with a wide smile on her face. "It's so good to see you," Caroline said and stepped aside to let her in. Heidi walked around Caroline, eyeing her from head to toe. "Looking good." Heidi winked at the younger woman, who couldn't stop smiling. "I tried to get to you earlier, but there is just so much to do," Heidi continued and rolled her eyes. "Oh, about that," Caroline started and fiddled with her hands on the bottom part of her shirt. "I'm sorry, that you have so much to do because of me." She looked apologetically at the other woman and sighed. "I mean, all those extra fishing trips, plus the secretary work and all of that just because of me," Caroline ended and looked at the ground. She was deeply sorry that Heidi had to do all of that. She would gladly help her, but truth be told, she would be no help at all. Heidi just shook her head. "Don't you worry. We will have a new secretary soon and as far as I've heard, you are doing pretty well for your age. It won't take long, until you can feed with the rest of us, I'm sure." She looked reassuringly at the slightly smaller woman and went to the couch. Caroline followed her and they sat down.

"Tell me, how has your time been? Anything I need to know?", Heidi asked and leant over. Caroline just blew raspberries. "Honestly, I'm caged in this room like some sort of Disney princess," she said and grinned. "Although," she started again and tipped with her finger on her lips. "Maybe it's more like the dragon of the castle, given the fact that I only get out with others in order to satisfy my thirst." At those words, both women started to laugh. "No, I'm fine, I'm good. Trying my best to remain or regain control, depending on the situation. But what about you?" Caroline looked at the other woman and leaned back on the couch. "My usual duties, nothing extraordinary or not too much of the extraordinary, if we are being honest," Heidi answered and winked. "But it's good to have something to do and don't worry, soon enough you will laugh about your 'imprisonment'." Heidi used her hands to imitate quotation marks on the last word. She shifted in her seat, her eyes looking from left to right and back to the other woman. She listened for any sounds nearing the room, before she narrowed her eyes. "Spit it out! I heard rumors that one of the masters wanted you as a personal guard for whenever the masters accept someone in the throne room," she said and an almost unholy grin spread on her face.

Caroline blinked a few times, Heidi was the second person that told her something like that, but she was absolutely clueless at that point. "Well, um, I," she started but didn't know how to finish. She breathed deep and closed her eyes for a second. "Look, I have absolutely no idea. Demetri told me about those rumors as well, but I know nothing, honestly," she stated and looked at the other woman. Heidi furrowed her brows a little, before she leant back and her facial expression relaxed. "Are you aware that most members of the lower guard wait over 100 years already to even get a chance to climb the ranks? And we don't talk about the privilege of working with the masters, directly," Heidi said. She started out calmly, but the more she spoke, the more excited she got. "That is so amazing. Oh my, who could it be," Heidi continued, completely lost in those rumors. Caroline shook her head and raised her hands in an attempt to calm the overly excited woman down. "Listen, I don't," she started but Heidi was quick to leap to a conclusion. "I don't think it's Aro. He already has Renata in dangerous situations, so it's either Caius or Marcus," she mused. Just when Caroline wanted to intervene Heidi's thought process, the older woman continued. "I bet it's Marcus, it must be." She grinned wildly at Caroline, who couldn't help but smile.

"I truly missed you," Caroline said after a while and Heidi replied with a smile. "You are my friend, Caroline. We have to look out for each other with all those men around," she said. Caroline blinked a few times. "You mean it? The friend-part?", Caroline asked in utter disbelief. It was such a long time ago, that Caroline had true friends. It was in primary school, they used to play every afternoon together. All sorts of children games, but when they had to go to secondary school, they all went to different schools and as time passed by, they lost each other. After that, Caroline only had acquaintances; people she talked to in school and later during her apprenticeship, but nothing real. It was not that she didn't want to have any friends, but she was not into partying or excessive drinking, she never smoked or took drugs, she did nothing the cool kids did and that, somehow, made her an outcast. Caroline didn't mind, though. She learned to like being alone, she had her parents and later she had John and that was all she needed at that point. It was almost horrifying, that she technically had to die first, to realize that she shouldn't rely on others. And all of that became absolutely absurd, that a far older woman that came out of nowhere, just offered her friendship without asking for anything in return.

Heidi scoffed in amusement at Caroline's words. "Do you think I show one of my favorite spots to anyone?" Caroline was sure, if she was still human, she would be crying heavily by now. She felt her emotions overwhelm her and for once, those weren't anger or fright but pure happiness. "Thank you," she said quietly, not sure how to react. Heidi hummed lightly before she stood up, she looked expectantly at the still sitting woman. "Come here, you won't get rid of me anytime soon." Heidi spread her arms and Caroline slowly stood up and walked to her. She wasn't familiar with such close friendships, but Heidi never made her feel awkward, it just came natural from her. When she stood in front of her, Heidi pulled her into a hug. Caroline stiffened at first but quickly relaxed, something about Heidi's actions made her feel welcomed, like she had a big sister for the first time. She never felt so understood in her entire life.

"Was that so bad?", Heidi asked with a slight smirk on her face. Caroline didn't answer but shook her head and laughed. Soon both women laughed at the strange but relaxed atmosphere in the room. Caroline hoped for one thing, that their relationship would stay as long as they both roamed the earth.