Chapter 30

It was a honeymoon, even Mark knew that was meant to be their personal, alone time. Where they privately celebrated this new life they had just embarked on. He knew, traditionally, there was more to it than just that, but this was a marriage of convenience and alleged blackmail, not love. This sort of felt like he was taking a step in the right direction for fixing that mindset of hers.

"Never been to something like this, have you?" He had once or twice and he felt terrible suddenly at the shake of her head. Of course not, she had been in hiding. "I'm sorry, darlin'. You deserve this kind of stuff, trips like this." He'd give it to her, all of it and more, for the rest of their lives.

"Do I, though? After everything I've done to you?" No, Mark, I don't deserve any of this, not even to be married to you. I took away your choices and didn't give you the chance to be a father to our children from the start. "I honestly thought we'd be spending our honeymoon at home. I didn't expect you to whip this out on me and…it's starting to make me realize what a foolish woman I really am."

Marlize turned away from the basket and finally looked up at him, suddenly hugging him around the waist as far as her arms could reach, her hands splayed against his back. This man shouldn't have had to marry her in order to make sure she didn't run away with the twins – their twins – and for protection, even though she had that in spades now, thanks to Mark and Aunt Linda. Mark didn't hate her, even though he should've, but she also didn't want to live in a loveless, lifeless marriage for the sake of protection and their children.

"I know you don't hate me, but…damn it, I want…I want a real marriage with you, to be happy with you. I love you and I don't think I can ever stop loving you. I don't want this to feel like an obligation to be with you. That wedding we had, the song we danced to, the ocean theme, this jewelry I still have on…I KNOW it was all you and you chose it because of the island, to remind me of our time together there. Mark, please…please tell me this isn't all in my head…please tell me you didn't just marry me because of the kids." Please tell me you love me and you forgive me! Tell me this isn't out of convenience, tell me you actually want this!

He wanted to. He wanted to tell her he was in this for all the right reasons, but there was that voice in his head reminding him of how easily Marlize lashed out, how easy it was for her to hurt him on levels he didn't even know he could be. However, he also knew, as much as he hated admitting it, even only to himself, that he could hurt her just as badly. Mark could almost hear Glenn in his head 'tell her you married her for that ass', but he had a feeling she'd kill him and turn him into chum for fishing.

"Darlin'," He wasn't good with words, not with the ones she probably needed to hear. He was better at scathing replies and purposefully playing mind games on people. I married you to protect you, to make sure I could finish seeing my kids grow up…because I love you, knowing how dangerous you are to me. "You know I didn't," Mark brushed the back of his hand down her face, his green eyes searching hers intently. "It's not all in your head, Marlize. All those things reminded me of what we had, even if it wasn't for very long."

They could've had this all along, from the beginning, if she'd just let him protect her and stay on the island with her. Without all the drama, all the blackmail, all the secrets, all the hurt and pain, not to mention the heartache. He still can't say the words to me, though. Those three little words that meant everything, that made or tore apart relationships and marriages, that linked them. "They were the best five weeks of my life. It started out rocky, but we quickly acclimated to each other, even after that first night." He had taught her how to properly cook fish after it was skinned and everything, remembering how wonderful it tasted wrapped in tinfoil. One day, one day he'll say the words back to me. I just have to be patient and not push him. I don't want to force it. For now, this would have to be enough for her. "I need to tell you something." Please believe me. "You were the last man I had sex with, so it's been a VERY long time for me and…" I just hope I don't disappoint you more than I already have. "I'm really nervous…" He's so intense when it comes to sex and I used to match that intensity, but I don't know if that's me anymore.

Those three little words were the last barrier of defense he had against her, and once he said them, there was no taking them back. Hadn't Marlize said it? They didn't know each other very well. Mark knew then, years ago, knew her enough to know that she was what he had wanted. He knew now that he still wanted her. However, those words…those words were terrifying for a near seven-foot, 300-pound giant when said to a woman whose temper was as dangerous as the sea she loved so much. The most beautiful thing in the world, sparkling with sunlight and joy, but then capricious and mercurial at the same time.

This woman was a living embodiment of the ocean. "Darlin'," Those last words broke the solemn mood, even though he knew Marlize was serious, and now he held her face between both hands, trying not to chuckle. "I believe you on that." She had been that way years ago, too, because she tended to go celibate. Mark scooped her up into his arms, still smiling and brushed his lips against her forehead. "You have no reason to be nervous, Mrs. Calaway, it's just a little ring rust is all."

"Ring rust?" Why did this feel like déjà vu? Didn't he say something like that in her daydream in the limousine? "More like sex rust." Now he was laughing and she joined in, draping her arms around his broad neck and felt him kneel on the bed with her still in his arms.

Her back hit the soft bedding and Mark moved them to where they were each lying on their sides facing each other, his arm around her waist and her leg instinctively draped over his. Slowly, they started out with kissing and touching, getting familiar with each other. That night on the couch sprang to mind and then again the morning of their wedding. The sparks were still there and there was absolutely nothing stopping them from being together, not this time.

Mark wouldn't walk away from her and she was pressed against him with his tongue massaging hers, emanating some very deep moans. It was still all there, the passion, desire, fire, want, need, ecstasy, intensity, and it was amplified by the fact that they were married now. Breaking the kiss, Marlize held her finger up in a one-second gesture and slid from the bed, taking a deep breath. Her body image still bothered her to this day, so she was slightly hesitant to strip for her husband, but did it anyway.

Letting that sundress drop to the floor, Marlize revealed a white lace bra and thong beneath. On her stomach, there was the slightest incision scar from where she'd had her c-section with the twins, but other than that, she was skinnier, yet still thick in all the right areas and her breasts were bigger due to her pregnancy. Hopefully, the changes in her body wouldn't bother Mark too much since she definitely wasn't the same Marlize he'd met on that island seven years ago.

Laying there, his cock was definitely straining the front of his shorts and his eyes were darkening. Mark probably stared at her a little longer than she felt was necessary, but damned if he could stop himself. She had been naked yesterday morning beneath her robe before their wedding, but he hadn't seen anything. Drinking in the changes in her body, there were two that he immediately noticed. Her breasts were a little larger, which Mark definitely did not mind and she had a scar.

That was where his twins had come from; Marlize couldn't have them naturally, and that may have bothered some people, but not him. He knew the recovery from a c-section was a lot more brutal in some ways than a natural birth. She was covering herself a little and he bet it wasn't even a conscious decision on her part, but one from years of abuse, a self-defense habit. Mark was up off the bed and kneeling before her, burying his face in her smaller stomach, with still just the right amount of squish, and inhaled deeply.

"You're gorgeous, Marlize…" He wanted to trace that scar with his tongue.

Sucking in a breath as soon as he did exactly what he wanted to do, her fingers slid through his curly hair since he had taken it out of the braid he had it in. "Mark…" Christ, she was already on shaky ground just from him doing this and hated that she still had body issues to this day.

Mark was the first man who had made her feel completely beautiful, desired, and wanted; every other boy and man she had in her life had always ridiculed her for her thickness. It wasn't just Bradley. That had just carried over into their marriage because Marlize would make little comments about being too big and Bradley had jumped on it, using is as a weapon against her. His lips and tongue started caressing all around her stomach while his hands grabbed handfuls of her bare backside, her cheeks, just like he had yesterday morning.

Reaching around while he continued nuzzling her lower region, Marlize unfastened her bra and pulled it from her body, revealing her full breasts that had went up a few cup sizes because of the twins. They weren't perky, they hung somewhat low, sagged a bit, due to how much the pregnancy had blown her up. Once again, the need to cover herself up, to hide from her newlywed husband, made Marlize fight the urge not to do it.

"What about now? Do you still…want me after seeing me like this with all these changes?" Her voice was shaky because of Mark's hot breath against her skin and he had nipped her pelvis, tracing his tongue along where the thong rested.

Any other woman would have gotten a sarcastic albeit amused quip from him because it would have been a baited question. Hers was genuinely from a place of needing validation because of her own mind and ex-husband royally screwing her up. Mark remembered it from the island; he had loved her body then and did not mind some extra weight, especially when she carried it in what he deemed to be all the right places. He finally stopped, figuring him going after her body with his tongue would have spoken for him, and leaned back to look up into her face.

His strong hands skimmed up her hips and sides, finally moving to cup those abundant breasts and let out a low growl of approval. "I think I want you even more…"

Some men didn't like change in a woman, wanted them to stay exactly as they had been with reunions and whatnot. That wasn't possible or realistic, though, not after seven years and a pregnancy with twins. Marlize craved that validation because she felt as if she wasn't good enough for him or anyone for that matter, not after what Bradley did to her. It took her a long time just to accept her body for what it was, but that didn't mean she had to be happy with her image. His tongue and mouth were now on her breasts, since Marlize was the perfect height for him on his knees and her breasts were in his face, his strong hands also adding to the sensations.

"I was hoping you would…" Marlize breathed out, her mind clouding in a thick, passion haze and her hands began unbuttoning the shirt he had on, pushing it down his arms, which forced those hands to leave her breasts momentarily.

Suddenly, Mark scooped her up in his strong arms again and laid her on the soft bedding, going right back to worshipping her breasts, making her writhe against him.

"Tell me what you want, Marlize."

"I want more of you…I want both of us naked, Mark, to feel your skin against mine again…to feel you inside of me after all these years…" Her body was trembling against him and there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Mark could feel and HEAR it in her voice, the anticipation practically killing her at this point.

Eventually, Mark wanted to be smothered in those gorgeous tits, but that was a thing for another time, because how could he resist those sweet words? The sweet plea in her tone? He couldn't, no sane man could. He dipped his fingers down past her naval, sliding them between her slit folds, and there was absolutely no doubt. Mark hadn't even penetrated her with those fingers and the quivering increased tenfold.

He brought those drenched fingers to his mouth, tasting Marlize's essence while keeping his eyes locked on hers. "Mmm…" Needing to get out of these shorts pronto, it seemed like Marlize was on the same wavelength because those small hands were now between their bodies, undoing them. Nudging them down his rising hips, he reached down to help and kicked them off impatiently.

"Don't rip them off." Marlize requested breathlessly, gesturing to her thong and watched her husband hook his teeth into the material to pull it down her long, smooth legs, tossing it to the side on the floor.

Skin on skin made her eyes close the moment he pulled her against him, her chest against his, and she brought his mouth down on hers, passionately kissing him. Marlize was not holding back any longer and sincerely hoped Mark didn't either, her nerves subsiding. Everything felt familiar and her body was starting to remember his touch and mouth, everything about him her body practically cried out for. She didn't want foreplay right now, Marlize desperately needed to her husband inside of her, to claim her completely. They could do foreplay later since they would be here a full week, so there would be plenty of opportunity for foreplay at a later date.

"I missed you so much, Mark, so damn much…" I'll never leave you again, I was stupid and I won't ever push you away again.