Chapter 6 – "Stew"

(Ellie's POV)

Authors note: Another really fun chapter. I really likeMaria especially now that we are exploring her more in the TV show. So I take some of my inspiration from that. Don't want to spoil.. but I am not done exploring Ellies trauma with the beach scene. There is much left to be unpacked. Endure and survive!

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Maria didn't say much on the walk. She never spoke just to chat. Her words were always important. I respected that.

We cut through Jackson's main street, quieter now with night settling in. Porch lights flickered on, smoke curled from chimneys. A couple of people looked up as we passed, faces half-lit in the dusk, but no one said anything. Maybe they didn't recognize me. Maybe they did and just didn't want to believe it.

Maria led me to a small house near the edge of the hill— it wasn't the home she used to share with Tommy. I knew they had been separated, but seeing this made it real. I felt a knot form in my throat.

She unlocked the door without a word and gestured me inside.

It was warm in there. Smelled like stew and herbs, something earthy and familiar. I stood awkwardly by the door while she hung her coat, then she pointed to the table.

"Sit." An order not a request.

I did as I was told for once.

She moved with purpose, grabbing a bowl from the counter, ladling stew from a pot. I watched her hands—efficient, steady. She didn't glance at me once while she worked.

When she set the bowl in front of me, I froze.

I knew this stew. The way the carrots were soft but not mushy. The way the thyme wasn't overpowering. The tiniest pinch of chili that sat in the back of the throat for an extra kick.

I knew this taste.

I didn't say anything. Just picked up the spoon and ate.

It was the first real food I'd had in months, maybe longer. But it wasn't the warmth that hit me—it was the memory steeped into every spoonful.

She didn't have to tell me who made it.

We sat in silence while I ate. She took a seat across from me, arms crossed, watching without hovering. Letting the quiet stretch. She sipped on a mug and I could see her shoulders relax from another long day.

Once my bowl was almost empty, she finally spoke.

"You always have a home here," she said, voice firm but even. "That hasn't changed."

I looked up meeting her eyes. My lips pressed together in that flat line when I'm not sure if I should say something or not.

"But I'm not doing this half-in, half-out bullshit," she continued. "No more secrets. No more disappearing in the middle of the night."

I felt my stomach twist.

"If you're here," she said, "be here. If you're not—I'll give you what you need, and you can go. But you don't get to ghost everyone".

The words didn't come from anger. They came from exhaustion. From someone who'd lost too much already.

I set the spoon down. My hand shook slightly, just enough that I noticed.

"From now on, we are open here. You are entitled to your privacy. But there are things that need said and wounds that need healed, understand?" She spoke in measured points. Boring into my eyes.

"I will be straight with you" I said calmly. More collected. I meant it. Even if it means I didn't stay, I wouldn't run. I'd face anything head on.

Maria leaned back. "Good. Now… Why did you go to Santa Barbara?"

I swallowed.

"I was looking for Abby."

The name hit the air like a stone tossed in water. After everything, I still felt a slight rage when I thought of her.

Maria said nothing. Eyes still staring.

"Tommy came, he said he found a lead and —"

Her jaw clenched. Eyes tightened. "I would have never let him do that to you.." she pushed the words out. No longer looking at me.

"When I found out, I couldn't look at him. It was one thing if he wanted to wallow in his obsession. It wasn't fair that he pulled you with him." She looked at me again. Eyes pleading for forgiveness..?

I let out a breath through my nose "I think at some point it would have happened anyways. I wasn't me. I thought about Seattle almost everyday.." I'm not much for accepting apologies.

She just watched. Lips pressed in a line. She nodded slightly. A gesture to continue.

"I had to leave. I felt like this was unfinished and if I didn't. I could never be myself again."

Maria didn't blink. She just waited.

"So off I went. I went to the place Tommy suggested and found an abandoned boat she'd been living in. She was looking for fireflies. I came across 2 men- well really I fell into one of their sick human catching traps." My teeth gritted, I swear I could feel the scar from the blade I stabbed stinging my side.

"They were slavers, called The Rattlers. I managed to get away from them but they told me they caught a girl named Abby. A big girl traveling with a kid who had scars on his face. I knew it was her."

Maria's lips parted slightly, but she didn't speak.

"I somehow survived raiding their freak show compound. Releasing infected onto them, and the people they enslaved."

Maria's eyes widened. She knew what people were capable of. Many of us do. But it's never any less shocking hearing it.. or living through it.

"Abby and the kid were on these posts. Hanged up left to die by the water. By the time I reached them I was about dead myself. Half bleeding out from a stab wound and gashed up from fighting those people." I took a deep breath.. the kind you take before telling someone something that might make them change the way they look at you. Like confessing to a lie you've been holding in.

"Jesus that's fucked up" Maria said quietly.

"Yeah.. it was" I grimaced. My mind flashing mental images of Abby on that beach.

"help..me…" a voice raspy in the salt air. I turned and saw her above me "it's you" her head barely lifting.

Abby was hanging with her hands above her head. Her body more like mine now- rather than the formidable being I fought in Seattle. She was skin and bones, beaten. Her hair chopped off at the scalp. They mutilated her, no telling what else. I can still smell the sickly air. Filled with death and rot.

"Hey, hey it's okay.." Maria reached out grabbing my hand. I hadn't realized I stopped talking for so long. My breath shaking and ragged.

I gasped "I'm sorry.. I.." my thought trailed. I wasn't sure what I was even going to say. I wasn't lost in a memory, no, a nightmare.

"It's ok.. take your time". She released my hand and slid back.

I took another breath *in.. out* I couldn't tell her everything.. she didn't't need the gore, but I could be honest.

"I had her Maria.. I could've killed her.." I said through clenched teeth. That deep part of me, the part that I think will always want bloodshed started banging inside me like a bell. Demanding vengeance.

"But I let her go," I said, voice quieter now. "I had to end it. This never ending cycle. Joel, her friends, my friends, each other. It had to stop.."

"I don't really know how I made it back alive. I just kept going until I reached the farmhouse, then.. here."I let out a deep sigh of relief. It's out there now.

Silence sat between us like another person in the room. Something came across her face, maybe relief? I couldn't place it.

And then Maria exhaled—long, steady. She reached for her mug, took a sip of something that had gone cold.

"You've been carrying that alone?"

I nodded.

"For too long huh?" She posed it as a question, but it really wasn't.

Another few moments passed, a clock ticking in the living room. Then she leaned forward, eyes sharp but not unkind.

"I'm not gonna pretend to support why you went after her again.. But I know what it looks like when someone's trying to punish themselves. Don't you think you've been punished enough?"She said that last part quieter. Almost like she was pleading with me to see her reason.

I didn't respond. I couldn't.

She let it hang a moment longer. Then:

"You're not the only one who lost Joel, Ellie.."

That hit deeper than I expected. I looked down at my hands. The scars. The tremble. The things I could never unsee.

"I don't know how to come back from this," I said shakily.

"You don't have to know right now," she replied, this time smiling slightly. "You just have to stop running."

I let out a shaky breath. Something in my chest eased—just slightly. Like the weight was still there, but not pressing quite so hard. It allowed me to breathe easier.

"Thank you," I said. My eyes meeting hers. Maria and I had always gotten along, there was a mutual respect. But I think now, there was understanding too.

She stood. Took my bowl. "You can stay in the spare room here for now. We'll figure the rest out tomorrow."

As she turned away, I said out loud—lightly. Just a whisper of a voice.

"Was it her cooking?"

She paused. Didn't look back.

Just said, "Goodnight, Ellie," and walked down the hall.

I let myself smile. Barely. Just for a second.

And for the first time in a long time…

I didn't feel like I was running anymore.

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