I woke up the morning with instant regret. I slapped my face as my long blonde hair draped down my back.
What was I thinking when I kissed him?! Ahhh I'm such an idiot!
Last night I had kissed Sasuke. In the heat of the moment, it felt like the right thing to do until he pushed me away in fear.
Ugh, I'm so freaking stupid! Stupid Naruko, why did you do that?! And on top of that, you have a boyfriend! Uahjqkaka!
I slapped my face one last time in disappointment before standing up to change into my uniform. I looked at myself in the mirror as I tied my hair. Okay...I need to act normal...I'm just eating breakfast then getting the hell out of my apartment.
I smiled at myself in the mirror, practicing for my grand performance in a few minutes, but the smile soon faded. Who am I kidding? I seriously messed up...
I banged my forehead against the mirror with a sigh. "I wanna die...Why did I kiss him...?"
I groaned loudly as I pushed myself off the mirror. As I stared at my reflection, I no longer saw the happy-go-lucky girl I once was. Before meeting Sasuke I lived in the present and enjoyed every moment to its fullest. But now that I know my supposed unhappy future, I can't live the way I use to.
I'm scared of messing up. I'm scared of the possibility of having an unhappy future. I'm scared of not being able to fall in love with someone other than Sasuke. I'm even scared of walking around my own neighborhood because of the chance that I might run into this time's Sasuke. I use to be brave and reckless, but now I'm scared and prudent.
I felt a tear form in my eye, but I refused to let it fall. Crying was all I had been doing since Sasuke arrived. Maybe that's why he wanted to make sure we never met. He knows we're not good for each other so he's trying to let me go.
The thoughts in my head were intoxicating. My mood was depleting and my body began to feel heavy. I couldn't allow myself to fall into a pit of sorrow, so I shook my head madly before slapping my cheeks.
Idiot! Get it together! I gotta act normal! It's only awkward if you make it awkward so smile, damn it!
I turned to face the door. I took a deep breath and slowly made my way to it. I placed my hand on the doorknob and exhaled. Alright, Naruko...be cool. You told him it was an accident as soon as he pushed you away...but how well does that lie work on 27-year-old man?
I did one final sigh before I left my room and made my way to the table. As I approached the kitchen, I saw Sasuke still making breakfast. I slowly sat down in the chair as I eyed the table in fear. All is good. You're as cool as a cucumber. You got this.
The sound of the plates hitting the table took me by surprise. I jumped for a second before locking eyes with Sasuke. In an instant, we both averted each other's gaze as he sat down before me.
The atmosphere between us was thick and unbearable. I wanted to run out of the apartment and never come back. But instead, I picked up my egg, ham, and cheese sandwich and began to eat.
It was silent. Usually, I would start a conversation and we talk, but I had broken that routine. I ruined what we had because I was impulsive. Ah yes, breakfast with a side of awkwardness...my favorite...
I looked at my sandwich sadly before taking another bite. I wanna crawl in a whole...
"Naruko."
"Huh--uh, yes!" I glanced up at him in surprise as he called my name.
His expressions began to change, but he quickly calmed himself down before speaking again. "About...About last night...I...I know you said the kiss was an accident, but--"
Before he could finish his sentence, I started to laugh loudly and awkwardly. "Ah ha ha! Well, it looks like imma be late for school! I'll see ya when I get home!"
I stuffed the rest of my sandwich in my mouth, nearly choking in the process. I pounded on my chest like a gorilla before drinking the orange juice he served me. I let out a sigh of relief after the food went down my throat. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes.
"Wa-wait, Naruko-!"
I dashed away from the table, running to put on shoes and leave. "Bye Sasuke! I promise we'll talk later~!" I slammed the door behind me, never looking back.
As the bell rang to end the day, I hit my head against the desk with a loud grown. In a few moments would have to face Sasuke about my impulsive decision. I turned my head to face Sakura as she packed her bag. "Sakura-chan...is there any possibility that you could maybe end my suffering right now?"
"Huh?! What the hell are you talking about, Naruko?!"
I groaned again loudly, whining as she tried to pack up her stuff to leave. "Sakura-chan, I don't wanna go home~ Don't let me go home~!"
I clung to her arm as I whined like a child. Her face was full of confusion as she tried to pull herself away from me. "What's gotten into you?!"
She was finally able to pull her arm away from my grasp. She then shook her head while grabbing her bag to leave. "Girl, I don't know what happened, but it seems as if you're trying to run away from something."
"Run away? But I never run away from anything! Believe it!" I shouted with a complete change of attitude.
"Uh, you're clearly trying to avoid something if you're asking me to end your suffering, you big weirdo."
She's right; The old Naruko wouldn't run away from anything...
I sighed heavily as I tried to pack up my bag. Whether I returned home today or not, sooner or later I would have to face Sasuke and the consequence for my action. But before I left home to lie about my feelings, I needed to know why it was so wrong for me to love him.
I had no one to turn to for help. I was on my own when it came to my situation. I couldn't tell my best friend about my time-traveling husband, nor could I tell her I didn't have the feelings I thought I did for Kakashi. But, I needed advice.
"Sakura-chan, can I ask you something?"
"Hm? Yeah of course."
I began to play with my hair, thinking about how to phrase my question before I said anything. "How come...how come Romeo and Juliet can't be happy together?"
"Looks like you haven't been paying attention in class," she sighed as she sat back down at her desk to talk to me. "It's because they're star-crossed lovers."
I turned to face her while I sat at my desk. "Yeah I know that much, but what does 'star-crossed lovers' even mean?!"
"It basically means that the universe is working against them. Even though Romeo and Juliet both love each other, in the end, they couldn't live happily ever after because the universe didn't want them to."
"The universe...? B-but isn't there a way they could have gone against the universe?!" I asked desperately.
She placed a finger to her chin as she thought. "Go against the universe? Hmm I mean, I don't think they could have. From the very beginning, their relationship was doomed to fail. Romeo and Juliet were from rivaling families, and they knew they couldn't be together, yet they still tried. And of course, they ended up dead because of it."
That's right, they did die at the end...Does that mean Sasuke and I face a similar predicament? No...We're not Romeo and Juliet...We actually have a time machine and knowledge of what happened in the future! So maybe there's a way we can fix it now so it won't happen again!
"Sakura-chan, do you think if Romeo and Juliet had a time machine they could have lived happily ever after?"
"Um, I guess? But-"
"Yes! That's all I needed to hear!" I quickly stood up from my seat, tossing my bag over my shoulder. "I gotta go, Sakura-chan!"
I need to tell Sasuke the truth. I need to te him that I love him. That I want to be with him no matter what! And I know he wants to be with me too, judging by the way he acts with me, so maybe there's a way to prevent anything bad from happening in the future if we fix the problem now. I need to go to him!
"Huh?! What's the sudden hurry?!"
I began to dash out the classroom when I heard Sakura call my name: "Naruko wait!"
I looked back at her from the door.
"Geez, you're always rushing away without hearing the full story." She folded her arms as she looked at me from her seat. "As I was saying...Even if they could have time traveled, I don't think they could have lived happily ever after."
What...?
"What do you mean...?" I asked with a trembling heart.
"In the end, Romeo kills himself because he thinks Juliet was dead, which she wasn't, so when she wakes up, she kills herself because she saw Romeo dead. Now...Let's say Romeo had a time machine. He thinks she's dead and now he's blaming himself for her death. He decides to time travel to keep her alive, but then he notices that the only way to truly make sure she lives is by making sure they never meet."
"Never meet...?"
"Yeah...If you think about it if they went back in time to try and fix their problem, who's to say the same outcome won't happen? So the only way to make sure they both stay alive and happy is to make sure they never meet."
In that instant, my heart broke into a million pieces. I finally understood why Sasuke didn't want us to meet. It wasn't because he didn't love me but because he did love me he needed to let me go. That's why...that's why he said it was complicated...
"You know," Sakura mumbled as she stood up, "It's sad when you think about it...That no matter how much you may love someone, sometimes the best thing you can do for them is to let them go..."
She walked up to me with a sad expression. "Sometimes love can be a poison..." She sighed with a heavy heart before slapping my arm playfully. "Look at you, bringing up deep topics right after school. Who knew you had it in you, haha!"
I laughed nervously as we walked out of the classroom. "What can I say? I'm actually a genius in disguise, ya know?"
While we made our way down the hall, Sakura brought up the elephant in the room. "Sooo, how's the boyfriend~?" She asked teasingly while going down the stairs.
"Oh uh-good! He's great!"
"Hmm? Come on, you're not gonna tell me about your date?" She whined.
"Oh! Yeah, we went to some fancy ramen shop on the other side of town yesterday. The food sure was fancy, haha...We talked and laughed a lot too...He's a really great guy..."
Every time I thought of Kakashi, my heart would fill with sorrow and shame. Kakashi is a great guy so why can't I just allow myself to love him?!
"Ooh~ sounds fun~!" She elbowed my arms teasingly, bringing her voice down to a whisper: "So...did you guys kiss~?"
My heart jumped in my chest at the sudden question. "N-no! We didn't!"
"What, really?! Ughhh, why not?!"
"I...I didn't feel ready to..." Guilt consumed my heart as I lied through my teeth. No...it was because I didn't want to kiss him...
"Aw...well there's always next time! Oh-speak of the devil!" She tapped my shoulder, pointing me in the direction of my boyfriend. "I'll leave you guys alone~. See ya, Naruko!"
She then gave me a push in his direction before running away. I stared at my boyfriend from a distance as he made his way towards me.
He was dressed in his regular school uniform, which surprised me since he always had basketball practice. He waved happily at me before taking my hand in his.
"I thought you had practice," I stated as our hands intertwined.
"Nah, Coach decided to give us today off since he wasn't feeling well. So now, I can spend today with you." You could see his genuine smile through the mask he used to hide his face. His eyes were enough to show he loved me. I should have been happy that someone would look at me that way, but instead, I felt shame, guilt, and sorrow. My feelings weren't as true as his.
We walked out the gate, hand in hand. I couldn't bring myself to look at him because the kiss I shared with Sasuke would haunt my mind. I needed to tell him, but I couldn't bring myself to.
"Is everything okay?" He asked while we headed down the street.
"Ye-yeah! I was just thinking about whether you wanted to get something to eat or not."
"Something to eat? Hmm, I am kind of hungry..."
"Perfect! Then we can eat some Ramen!" I then dragged him to Ichiraku's.
"Isn't this the best?!" I shouted happily while slurping my noodles.
Kakashi lowered his mask so he could eat. "Hmm you're right. This is really good. It's even better than that fancy ramen we had, haha.
I shivered at the thought of the expensive ramen we shared. I'm so glad he said it and not me.
"Haha I'm glad you like it!" stated the old man while passing me a second bowl. The old man then crossed his arms with a smile and began to speak again: "I had been wondering why I hadn't seen Naruko these past few days, and guess it was because she was busy with her boyfriend! Haha, to be young again~!"
I laughed awkwardly with Teuchi. "Ye-yeah! Kakashi takes up all my time now, haha..." More like Sasuke has me wrapped around his finger.
Kakashi continued to eat his noodles as we laughed. I couldn't hold my fake laugh any longer, so I began to stuff my face with noodles. Ugh I feel so awkward!
"Oh Naruko," said Kakashi while placing down his chopsticks, "You're leaving on your class trip on Friday, right?"
Oh crap! I forgot!
"Yeah! We come back Sunday night, so I'll be back at school on Monday."
"That's great because next week Friday is our second home game against Saint Madara. It would mean a lot to me if you came..." his face flushed a light pink as he stared at his empty bowl of ramen.
"A-against Saint Madara? But wasn't there already a home game against them about 2 weeks ago?" That was the game I missed because Kiba got me in trouble...and then Sasuke showed up...
"Yup, but this game is just for fun. Obito, the guy who claims to be my greatest rival besides Gai, wanted a rematch against us. He couldn't stand the fact that he had lost against me." His tone was full of pride as he bragged about beating Saint Madara.
Kakashi took pride in what he did as a basketball player, and he should. He was the team captain and the greatest player in the history of Konoha high. Not to mention that his father was once a great player as well when he was in college. Greatness truly ran in the Hatake family.
"Sounds fun," I replied with a smile.
"Mhm. I usually don't care about his petty rematches, but now I want to show you what I can do."
I jumped at the mention of myself. "Me...?"
He nodded his head with a smile. "Any guy would want to show off in front of their girl." He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek with a smile. "And I also want to show you off to Obito, haha. No win against me could ever compare to having you."
The guilt inside me was spreading like a disease. This guy...he truly loves me, yet I'm messing with his heart...
I held the spot on my cheek which he had kissed me with his lips. I smiled weakly at him as he continued to beam brightly at me. "You know Naruko," he began, "You're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time..."
I stared into his loving eyes with a broken heart. Why...? Why can't I love you more than Sasuke?
"You two sure are adorable," stated Teuchi with a smile. "Make sure to invite me to the wedding," he joked with a chuckle.
Both of us stared at the old man with burning faces. Kakashi rubbed the back of his head nervously as I quickly reached into my wallet to pay for our meal. As soon as I had the cash in my hand, I slammed it onto the table, then grabbed Kakashi's hand to lead him outside of that awkward shop.
"Ugh...I'm sorry, the old man can be nosy sometimes..." I apologized while we walked hand in hand.
"Haha, no worries...besides," his voice suddenly stopped as well as his steps. I stood beside him in confusion as he turned to face me while he fixed his face mask.
"Kakashi...?"
He smiled at me with his eyes as his hand brushed back my hair and caressed my cheek. "...It made me happy...I hope one day we will reach that point where we'll both say 'I do'."
I was shocked and didn't know what to say. I was filled with both negative and positive emotions and I didn't know how to manage them. So I did the only thing I could do:
I slapped Kakashi's arm with a smile, "You're making me blush~!"
He chuckled happily as we continued down the street to my home.
"I'm serious though," he said, "I want us to stay together for a long time." His grip tightened around my hand as if he were telling me he never wanted to let me go.
I squeezed his hand back with a bittersweet smile.You are my future, and I'll learn to love you more than Sasuke.
Even if Romeo had a time machine, he would never go back to pursue Juliet. Because he knows what their love brings in the future, he thinks it's best if they would have never met. He doesn't want to experience the same tragedy multiple times, so he lets her go because he loves her. And because Sasuke loves me, he's letting me go. So the only thing I can do is let him go as well because I love him.