It had been two hours since the screen last flickered.

In that time, the Beacon cafeteria had transformed from a place of rest to a front-row seat at the weirdest multiverse theater in Remnant. Professors stood at the edges, recording data and murmuring hypotheses. Teams RWBY, JNPR, CFVY, and SSSN stayed on standby, rotating shifts like soldiers awaiting their commander's signal.

But truthfully, they all stayed for one reason.

The Rubyverse.

And sure enough—just as the clock neared mid-afternoon—the now-familiar buzz returned.

The screen shuddered. Lights dimmed. And once again, the flickering glow stabilized into an image.

There it was.

Casa di Crescent Rose.

Red curtains. Crooked candles. Accordion music that somehow sounded both romantic and threatening. It was as if the restaurant lived in a timeline fueled purely by carbohydrates and unresolved familial drama.

Weiss groaned as soon as she saw the décor. "Not again…"

"Shhh," Blake said, more curious than she let on.

On-screen, Ruby stood poised behind the host stand, apron tied, mustache adjusted, pad in hand. She looked sharp. Ready.

A bell jingled.

Her eyes lit up.

"Buonasera!" she chimed, flinging her arms out as a new guest entered.

The camera panned.

The entire Beacon hall tensed.

Yang leaned forward. "Wait a sec—is that…?"

"Oh no," whispered Jaune.

It was Blake.

Or, rather, Alternate Universe Blake.

She entered the restaurant with the elegance of a trained assassin disguised as a Mistrali poet—black beret, ankle-length coat, and one elegant clawed hand adjusting her scarf.

Ruby's smile faltered ever so slightly.

"Signorina Belladonna!" she said in her accent, eyes twitching. "A pleasure to-a see you again."

"Likewise," AU-Blake replied, her voice cool. "I'll make it simple today. One order of fresh tuna crudo, with the fig reduction on the side. No olives."

Ruby froze.

Her pen hovered.

She slowly lowered the notepad.

Then let out a full-body gasp.

"AI! DIOS MIO!" she wailed, throwing her hands toward the heavens. "NO! I'm-a sorry, signorina, but we are out of fresh-a tuna!"

Silence. The music stopped cold.

A beat passed.

Then from the back—deep, scratchy, and offended—came the voice of the ancient terror herself.

"You are a disappointment."

Students across Beacon winced.

"Oh no," whispered Ren. "She's back."

Ruby's nostrils flared. She whipped around and pointed a trembling finger toward the kitchen.

"GRANDMA! I swear on the sauce—if you speak one more word from the under-oven realm—"

"YOU USED CANNED TUNA LAST TUESDAY!"

Ruby looked scandalized. "THAT WAS AN EMERGENCY!"

Back in Beacon, Yang was doubled over with laughter. "She's really gonna fight our dead grandma over tuna?"

Weiss was clutching her temples. "What is happening to my brain…"

The oven creaked open on-screen. A glowing red hand reached out, throwing a spatula in Ruby's general direction. She dodged it expertly, mustache flapping.

"You see what I-a deal with?" Ruby told Blake. "This woman—she haunts me! I can't-a even poach an egg without judgment!"

From the oven: "You used too much salt!"

"GRANDMA!" Ruby shrieked. "There is a reason me and Giacomo Yang buried you early!"

The entire Beacon lunch hall erupted.

"WHAT?!" Weiss gasped, looking at Yang. "You buried her?!"

Yang (real-world) grinned. "Apparently Giacomo me and Ruby got tired of her haunting the tomato sauce."

Back in the AU, a pan clanged against the wall.

"YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A NAP!" Grandma's voice wailed from the void.

Ruby whirled toward the kitchen. "It was a nap, Nonna! A long, permanent one!"

Blake coughed lightly. "So… no tuna?"

Ruby turned back, smoothing her apron. Her accent dropped momentarily into genuine despair.

"No tuna. I'm-a sorry, mia gatta. Just shame and an undead elder who critiques my seafood."

From the kitchen, Yang poked her head out, also wearing a ridiculous chef's hat.

"I told you we should've buried her deeper."

"She crawled out of the pantry again!" Ruby barked.

"I raised you better than this!" the ghost voice wailed.

"I was adopted!" Ruby screamed.

Everyone in Beacon lost it.

Jaune was wheezing. Coco wiped a tear. Nora had fallen out of her chair.

Velvet muttered, "This is like watching a Faunus soap opera… written by someone high on marinara fumes."

Blake (real-world) tilted her head, clearly amused. "I do like that I'm classy in every universe."

"Except for the part where you trusted this place to have tuna," Weiss said dryly.

Back on-screen, AU-Blake stood calmly amid the chaos, then sat down and pulled a tiny book from her pocket. "That's alright. I brought a protein bar."

Ruby flinched. "You brought outside food to my restaurant?!"

Yang dropped a mixing bowl in the kitchen. "We kill for less than that, sorella!"

The restaurant lights dimmed. Thunder rumbled in the background.

Ruby pointed dramatically at Blake. "I will pretend I didn't-a hear that."

"Because you didn't," said Blake, flipping a page.

"I did!" shouted Grandma from the back.

"SHUT UP, NONNA!" Ruby, Yang, and even a passing waiter shouted in unison.

Then the oven door burst open—again—and out came a single note on parchment. It floated gently down onto Ruby's podium.

Ruby read it.

She paled.

"…It's a list of my sins," she whispered.

Yang took a peek. "Wow, that's… two pages."

"I didn't even know they made ghost paper!" Ruby hissed.

Back at Beacon, Professor Oobleck was scribbling furiously.

"This alternate world is more psychologically nuanced than I expected!"

Ozpin merely sipped his coffee. "And more Italian."

"Does this mean anything?" Pyrrha asked softly. "Is she trying to communicate with us through food… or guilt?"

"No," Blake said, watching the screen. "This is just Ruby being Ruby. Even across realities."

On-screen, Ruby took a deep breath, pocketed the ghost-paper, and gave a dramatic bow toward Blake's table.

"Forgive-a me, signorina Belladonna. I shall return with-a water. With lemon."

"Just water is fine," AU-Blake said, never looking up from her book.

Ruby clutched her chest like she'd been shot.

The screen began to fade.

The lights in the restaurant dimmed as Ruby turned toward the camera one last time.

She stared for a long moment.

Then whispered:

"Don't order the tuna."

And the screen went black.

Silence in Beacon.

Until Sun said, "I feel like I watched someone's trauma unfold in real time."

"I need to know that grandma's backstory," Jaune said.

"We buried her alive?" Yang laughed. "We're monsters in that timeline."

Weiss groaned. "It just gets worse every time."

Blake smiled. "Or better."

Professor Goodwitch cleared her throat. "This latest sequence—though ridiculous—shows growing layers of emotional memory tied to Ruby's alternate identities."

Oobleck nodded. "Yes! And the familial drama! So much depth!"

Coco leaned back. "Honestly, though? Grandma needs her own spinoff."

"Maybe she's the true villain," Velvet added.

Yang grinned. "Nah. She's the flavor enforcer. Guardian of tradition."

Ozpin stepped forward. "As strange as these encounters may be… Ruby continues to be the central point. Whatever this phenomenon is, it's her across all timelines. Which means—if we want answers…"

"We keep watching," Blake finished.

The screen remained blank, humming softly now.

Waiting.

Somewhere, in a restaurant plagued by ghosts, canned tuna, and emotionally complicated waitstaff, Ruby Rose prepared the lemon water.

And braced for the next absurd customer to walk through her door.