Aeris

It's so...immense!

I lean over the bow of the ship watching as the waves rush past, churning with pent up power. Feeling giddy, I turn, and lean over backward, resting on the railing as I gaze up at the big blue abyss. The odd wispy cloud lingers lazily in still contrast. I laugh spontaneously in sea-sick delight, feeling as if I could fall upwards forever.

Thank you.

It's bitter sweet—to think of Zack. I regret not going back for my ribbon. It completely fled my mind the moment I'd learnt he was gone. Now I wish I had the memento, but... what I do have—It's enough—more than enough—

Freedom.

Cloud is a bit strange, he doesn't like to talk. But I don't feel too bad as I subject him to my endless rambles. In odd moments he reminds me of Zack, he must have looked up to him. Tseng said they'd been friends... But Zack's confidence feels brittle in Clouds skin, and most of the time his true nature bleeds straight through the façade—haunted. It makes it all the more worthwhile when I can make him smile. I want him to be free too.

"It's so warm here!" I exclaim, as we disembark the ship. "I've never been to a place like this—a place people come just to relax. Do you think one day will be long enough to get a tan?"

"Probably not," he replies, sullen.

"You're not much fun," I laugh, undeterred, "maybe just a small one." We walk into town—no smile for the playful platitudes, but my enthusiasm has brought him back to the present somewhat—He's looking around attentively instead of scowling with introspection.

I don't actually try to get a tan. This is the first time we've been able to relax at all since the beginning of our undercover escape, but it would still be foolhardy to flaunt it. In fact, we check ourselves into a room in the nearest Inn and wait for night fall.

"What are you going to do when we reach Nibelheim?" I ask, sitting restlessly on the edge of my bed. It's not the first time I've asked him. He usually finds a way to avoid the question.

He's lying on top of the sheets of his own bed, so uncommunicative, I think he might actually just go to sleep—if I would let him.

"...I'm just going home."

"Oh," I've heard this before, it's obviously not true. "Is that all?"

"Why are you so curious?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" I tilt my head, looking at him. It's a genuine question. When he doesn't take it as such, I switch tactic. "Hmm, I think my father is there. That's what I've been told anyway. "

"You've said—"

"—Say, do you know anything about the Shinra mansion?"

He gives me a sharp look, and moves onto one side, his back facing me. "...It was empty for as long as I remember, until..." he turns his head. "Why are you asking"

"It's... where I'm going..."

He looks at me for a prolonged moment, with an unhappy intensity uncommon even to him.

"That's where my father is, I think," I continue. It said as much in the notes Tseng had left me. I've unearthed something with my question. Feeling a little apprehensive, I hope he'll elaborate. I think he will. He has a... quietly earnest gallantry that belongs to him—not an imitation. He shakes his head and sits up.

"You shouldn't, it's not safe... Your father is he from Shinra?"

"... He was... once... I've never met him, but I heard that he left them a long time ago."

"Then once you meet with him you should both leave, neither of you will be safe there."

"Well what about you? Will you be safe?"

"I'll be fine... but my mother, my friends... I need to know—to make sure..."

I shift forward, this is the most he's ever said about it. "Did something happen?"

He holds head and lies back, turning away from me once more. "It's nothing, just... don't stay there. Shinra uses that mansion."

I know better than to press him again. He's set his boundaries and I'm left with my thoughts.

There's a knock at the bathroom door.

"Are you ok in there dear?"

"Leave her alone Mum." I hear Cloud's muffled voice sigh from further away.

"Yes! Sorry Mrs. Strife, I'll be out in a minute!"

I hadn't realised I'd taken so long. I've gotten carried away inspecting Elmyra's parting gift.

She's been making clothes for me since I can remember. I've always appreciated it, to be clothed in care, every stich is authentic in some way, sentimental as that may sound. I'm doubly thankful to have something new to change into now that I can finally retire that uncomfortable service uniform...

I tug at the plain hair tie Cloud's mother was kind enough to give me. Elmyra must have made this dress to match the ribbon I lost... The colour is exactly the same I think... She has a good eye. I can't decide whether she'd bought the red jacket to adjust, or made it up from scratch... I'm getting distracted again. I shouldn't be rude.

"You look lovely dear!" Cloud's mother looks over her shoulder at me from the stove where she is heating some water for tea.

"What do you think Cloud?" I prod.

"Looks... fine."

"High praise!" I raise my arms slightly, imitating irritation.

He scowls at me, but it's superficial. He's not really upset—just shy.

"So, you two met in SOLDIER?" Mrs. Strife hands me a mug, I nurse it carefully as I take a seat.

"...We were only in the troops," Cloud looks off to one side. I understand. It's hard to lie to your mother, even to protect her... Although, maybe there's more to it than just that.

"It just wasn't a fit for me," I chime in.

"What will you do now?" she asks.

"I guess... I'm going to find my family."

"Do you know if the Mansion is being used?" Cloud asks after a moment—I flash him a grateful smile.

"I'm not sure... not since you last passed through I don't think, and that was years ago... They were here for a while back then, after the reactor burnt down I mean. Some of the soldiers were very badly effected by it. It's sad to see... The town does what it can to take care of them, but really."

She seems somewhat distressed, perhaps that's what prompts Cloud to speak— "I've left Shinra now too."

"Oh! That's good to hear Cloud! I've been so worried about you. I wish you would have written to me. I never really knew if you were safe," I get the distinct impression she would like to say much more, but not with a guest present. "I would have hoped that company could have taken those poor soldiers away, given them proper treatment. It would be the least they could do for the sacrifice those young men made. They wander around the town now. You can't get much sense out of them..."

She takes a small sip from her own cup.

"There is a man from out of town, some people think he's taken up residence in the mansion. He showed up, maybe, a month or so back. I admit, I don't know where else he could be staying. I ran into him once—at the store. He nearly jumped out of his skin! A very spacey gentleman, but handsome in a distinguished kind of way."

Cloud has covered his face with a hand, lightly shaking his head.

"What? I'm not allowed to notice such things." Mrs. Strife smiles, placing her free hand on her hip. "How about you two? Are you... friends?"

Cloud's other hand joins it's partner, and he sighs.

I stifle a laugh and place my tea to one side while it cools, clasping my hands behind my back.

"Yes Ma'am, friends." Such a happy word.

The Shinra Mansion looms out from the corner of the road. It's size is somehow more eerie than oppressive. Maybe it's the impression of age and emptiness it seems to project, keeping its distance from the rest of the town, a slumbering piece of history nestled at the bottom of the mountains.

It looks different in the mid-morning light, a solid prospect. It had been late when we arrived yesterday. Mrs. Strife was kind enough to let me stay the night, it had been a long trip after all. Cloud left much earlier, anxious to find his friends. I lingered behind and helped his mother tidy up after breakfast.

I've been starting to feel nervous, maybe I was partly delaying what was to come. It was hard to get my head around the idea of meeting my father. I have no idea what to expect... It's meaningful in a way that is so... unfamiliar.

Right, enough—

"Aeris wait!"

I turn to see Cloud running up behind me, he slows when he sees that I've paused for him.

"I should come with you... You shouldn't go in alone," he announces. I'm touched—I should be touched, especially coming from him... but...

I shake my head. "Thank you, really, but... I think this is something I've got to do... for myself." I'm not used to it—this feeling. "Someone I trust directed me here, I'll be fine." I smile at him—a soft veneer to something sharper as I'm overtaken by a sudden need for distance.

He frowns disapprovingly but after a long moment drops eye contact. Maybe he somehow understands, or maybe we're not yet close enough for him to attempt a challenge.

Good, I think, guilt mingling with relief.

He turns his attention past me towards a cloaked figure stumbling into a side street, his face a picture of angst.

"Listen... those soldiers, I don't think they're that way because of the reactor. Shinra... Shinra did something to them..." he inhales, "and to me... and Zack. They use that mansion for experiments." He's looking at the ground now. "I don't remember much. but... I needed to tell you. I don't even remember how we escaped... Zack said some man let us go. I've been thinking... maybe... that was your father?"

I suppose this should be shocking, and in a way it is, but somehow the information is mostly sombre and sobering... after everything... I just feel sad. "Thank you," I smile at him, hoping those small words are enough to carry my appreciation. We've barely begun to know one another but I've long witnessed how private he is.

"I still think it's a bad idea..."

"Did you find your friends?" I change the subject. He shakes his head.

"They've all left for Midgar, to find their fortune I guess."

"What will you do now?"

"I think I'll go... meet with them there... maybe... I'm not sure what I'll do now... Now that I'm finished with Shinra."

I'd asked Zack once... what he would be doing if he wasn't in SOLDIER—"I think you should become a mercenary."

"You think?" he looks at me warily.

"Sure! Shinra isn't a good fit for someone with your calling, you should go freelance. I'd bet you'd be good at it."

"Maybe..."

"—And I'll look out for your mum while I'm here. So you don't need to worry!" I stand tall, smiling with playful authority. He smiles back at me, a tiny, sceptical, but amused glimmer in his eyes.

I laugh, happy, enjoying the moment, before turning back to my mission. I take a few steps, looking back over my shoulder at him.

"Then, I'll be going now. Perhaps we'll meet again when it's all over."

"When what's all over?"

I shrug and smile, turning away.