Chapter Forty-Seven: Stolen Valor
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The first thing Ella noticed was pain. A dull, distant throbbing that seemed to come with a lessening of the black that swathed her. The story she had been dreaming was breaking apart, fragmenting into sharp little pieces that sliced at her, and she could no longer quite say what the dream had been about. It slipped away, like water. Leaving only a feeling of something dirty and vile. And in its absence she was thirsty, and sore. She could feel the cracking of her lips. A foul taste in her mouth. A gnawing in her stomach.
She blinked, the darkness lightening slightly. Outlines of things crept out from the black. Unfamiliar shapes. Cool stone beneath her cheek. Walls in all the wrong places, cracks running across like spiderwebs. Their lines shifted oddly in the flickering light.
Quiet sobs drifted to her from somewhere out of sight. They made her head ache, or maybe it was aching anyway; she couldn't quite be sure. Everything was confused. She was unsure if the dream had really ended. She strained to lift her head off the floor, to fight the heaviness flooding her limbs.
There were wooden posts here and there. They stretched up to the ceiling; a thing of roughly hewn beams she could barely make out. Stacks of boxes leaned against the walls. There were shelves lined with shadowy objects. The shapes of windows pressed against the unfinished ceiling. Nothing but darkness outside. And there, at the edge of the stairs, the outline of someone. A person. A shape shifting slightly in the light of one floating, flickering candle.
It was the hair that jolted her. Those thick cascading curls, shimmering slightly as they reflected the candlelight. Cutting through the haze that coated her mind.
She remembered.
A different sort of pain took hold of her then. It squeezed her chest, broke her heart to pieces.
Her hands shook, threatening to collapse beneath her as she struggled to her knees. The strange flickering world seemed to tilt, the shadows spinning dizzily. And the gnawing in her stomach shifted, solidifying into a nausea that gripped her in its claws. That swept through her like a wave and choked her, splattering across the filthy stone floor as she retched.
She stayed there for a long moment, hard stone digging into her knees. Grit beneath her palms. The taste of vomit overwhelming. It was quiet now. No more distant sobbing. Just a soft shuffling. Footsteps. When she finally looked up again, the light had shifted; the shadows growing larger as the candle floated near. And in its wake, she stood.
A stranger.
"Siggy," Ella gasped, barely choking out the name. Her voice was hoarse. Grating. Wordlessly, Siggy crouched down. There was a glass in her hand, water shimmering inside. She offered it in silence.
There were tear tracks on her cheeks.
Ella reached for the glass with a shaking hand, tilting it back and letting drops trail down her chin as she took one small gulp after another. If Siggy meant to poison her, she would make easy pickings; but without the water, she was sure she'd collapse.
She lowered the glass when she could stomach no more, the nausea abating somewhat. Still there, just beneath the surface. Her head was pounding almost past endurance. How long had she been here? Siggy was a ghost before her. Watchful. Silent.
"Where are we?" Ella managed, searching out Siggy's eyes in the semidarkness.
Siggy said nothing. She didn't move nor look away, merely stared. The silence grew. And Ella's terror grew with it, drowning out the headache. The nausea. Until there was nothing left. Just Siggy and her, and this dingy basement dungeon. A storm of questions swirled in her mind.
"Why are you doing this?" she whispered.
Siggy chose to ignore this too, though Ella thought she saw something flicker in her face. Maybe it was simply candlelight.
How could this be? She didn't understand. How could Siggy have taken her. God, the things in her bag…
"It was you," Ella said, the silence steeling her. It hurt. The pain burnt through her, leaving behind a reckless sort of courage. "The explosion in the Ministry."
Siggy's eyes shifted, but still she said nothing.
"This entire time! You took the books from the library, didn't you?" The words burned, too. They caught in her throat; broke her to pieces. There was a coldness freezing her chest. "You wanted the Stone?"
Siggy looked away at that, her eyes falling into shadow. The silence grew between them, coalescing to fill the space. To hang in every crack and corner. Until her heart was all full of it.
"Did you do it?" Ella whispered finally, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer. "Awaken the horcruxes?"
Siggy inclined her head. Just once. It was enough. The coldness in Ella's chest spilled over, leaving her trembling.
"Why?"
Tears stung her eyes. The hurt of betrayal. And Siggy's silence only fanned the fire. How long had they been there? Hours? Days? Did Harry know that she was gone?
"Let me go." Ella reached for Siggy with a trembling hand, grasping at her icy wrist. Siggy didn't react. Didn't even shift her head. "Please," Ella pleaded. "You're not a bad person." She wasn't at all sure if that was true; if there was anything left of the girl she had known in the stranger before her. The girl she thought she had known.
"Siggy, please. Don't do this. It isn't too late."
And still, Siggy said nothing. She was looking decidedly away, refusing to meet Ella's eyes. Abruptly, a loud thud rent the silence. It came from somewhere above them. The unfinished ceiling shook, and Ella felt dust sting her eyes and she drew back at the sudden noise.
"What is that?"
"Voldemort." Siggy's voice was the faintest trace of a whisper. Barely recognizable. "It's Voldemort."
"Here?" Ella felt her face pale. Her heart leapt into her throat as raw terror flooded her.
Siggy only nodded again.
"God, Siggy. What have you done?"
Another silence. Then at last she spoke, her voice small and trembling. "I tried to kill him, you know. I tried. I really did. But I couldn't."
Ella stared, transfixed. Her stomach twisted.
"The horcruxes," Siggy gasped, and then she began to cry again. Tears glinted on her face in the candlelight as she stumbled over the words, her voice shaking as much as the tremors that still rattled the ceiling. "I tried to stop it. I—I didn't think. I didn't mean for this…"
She trailed off into a broken silence, her sniffles grating painfully against Ella's ears. It was enough. Siggy didn't need to say it. Even through her pounding headache and miasma of nausea, Ella understood.
"You couldn't kill him." The words were detached, as if someone else had reasoned them out. "Because of the horcruxes."
Siggy hung her head, her tears falling thickly to the floor.
"I didn't think," she whispered. "I fucked up everything."
Cold swept through Ella again. She was afraid to stop. And yet afraid to know any more. To find out how. Or why?
Who was this person who sat crumpled before her? It couldn't possibly be the girl she'd known all this time. The girl who'd helped her, listened to her. Who'd been there.
The one person she was sure Daniyel loved.
It was too much. She couldn't comprehend it.
There was a horrible sound upstairs. A wordless, inhuman roar that made the ceiling shake again, and Ella started, her painful thoughts shattering.
"What's happening?" she gasped, her eyes darting around the space. Seeking out those snake-like eyes in every corner. She could barely move. She had no idea where her wand was. It was the most vulnerable she had ever been, and fear snaked through her. "What's he doing? Siggy!"
"He— he's angry," Siggy whispered, as if Ella's words had jolted her into a confession. She drew her arms around her knees, seemingly trying to make herself small. "I'm holding him. Imperio. I don't know how much longer I can…"
Ella stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, terror, confusion, and pain swirling inside her like a tempest. She didn't understand what had happened, not a single thing.
"Please," she said finally, trying her plea again. "Let's get out of here. He can't be killed right now. Siggy, we have to go. We have to get help."
Siggy shook her head. Squeezed her hands harder around her knees.
Ella stared. At the broken girl before her. At the dingy basement. Was this some place of Siggy's? Or Rookwood's? Were they working together? She couldn't imagine what Siggy wanted. It was quiet again. The horrible screaming had whittled into silence. The dust no longer fell from the beams; a tentative sort of calm she feared might shatter at any moment.
"I don't understand," she said finally. "What is it you're trying to do? You brought him back. You tried to kill him. Why?"
And why? Why wouldn't Siggy say anything? Why was she so willing to captain this ship straight down into the earth?
"Please. How many times have we sat and talked? How many truths have I told you? Don't you trust me?"
Siggy didn't move. Didn't speak.
"I can help you," Ella pleaded. "Siggy, please—"
"No, you can't!" The words burst out of her. Cracking. Like the desperate cry of a cornered animal. "No one can."
"I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone," Ella said quietly. She dearly wanted to believe it. Anything that would make Siggy seem like less of a stranger. "Whatever happened, I know this can't be what you want."
"I didn't mean to hurt Kasia," Siggy snapped then, whirling to face Ella at last. Tears streaked her face. "But I did anyway. I hurt everyone. When I only wanted to save them."
Ella stared, startled into silence. And then Siggy spoke at last; the words tumbling out of her. Fast and broken and desperate. "She was six. My little sister. I was nearly eleven. I should have protected her."
She was choking on her tears now, the tirade barely audible.
"She wanted to swim across the lake. She'd always wanted to. Summer was ending. I wanted to help her. She wasn't a bad swimmer, it was just a big lake.
"I had Mum's wand," she whispered, her fingers dancing shakily across her own. "She'd been teaching me water magic. The wave was supposed to help her. Push her across."
Ella could barely make out the rest over her sobs.
"It overwhelmed her. She was pulled under. I couldn't get to her fast enough.
"I couldn't save her."
Ella stared. It was like a train wreck; she couldn't look away. Every word of this sad and awful story was drilling itself into her heart, and now she was the one unable to utter a word.
"All my fault," Siggy gasped, when her tears had lessened slightly.
"It wasn't," Ella managed. "You were eleven. You—"
"I couldn't be her hero," Siggy snapped, angry now. "I was supposed to save her. But she was gone. Everything… Everything ruined."
"Oh, Siggy…" Ella whispered, not quite knowing what to say.
"It matters." Siggy looked away, her voice broken again. Her emotions bouncing back and forth so fast they left Ella dizzy. "She matters. It's important, you see. She's important, because I promised I'd be a hero to everyone else for her. My classmates. My parents. My friends. So I could face her. So I could show her I wasn't worthless. All this… it's all for her."
Siggy drew in a shuddering breath.
"I helped whoever I could," she whispered. "Other students. I did their homework. Scared off bullies. I found lost First Years." Tears broke free from her eyes to trail down her cheeks once again. "Sometimes I helped them, first. I helped them get lost."
She shot Ella a glance, holding her eyes for the briefest of moments before continuing. And Ella could do nothing but stare. She didn't know what to think. To say.
"But it wasn't… wasn't enough. I needed to do something bigger," Siggy explained, her voice growing stronger now. "To show the world I wasn't just the pathetic little girl who let her sister die. A real hero." She glanced up again, her eyes meeting Ella's. Holding them. "Like you."
The words were caustic. They burned through Ella, leaving an acrid path of understanding in their wake. Sending her through flashes of memories. Hooded figures all around. Fire burning. Pain. When she spoke, her voice was a horrified whisper.
"You brought him back so you could kill him. So you could save everyone."
Siggy nodded, seemingly bolstered by these words. "I had a plan. I'd spent so much time thinking about it. Years. I suspected it was horcruxes all along that had kept him alive when he tried to murder the Potters. I've read about them ages ago, and it seemed logical. But everything I knew about how he was killed at Shadow Hogwarts?"
She rose, began to pace before Ella. Back and forth, as if filled with a sudden boundless energy. As if the words bursting from her mouth were building something beautiful rather than cutting Ella down like tiny swords. "It didn't make sense. A ritual spell? A prophecy? How could that kill him if there were horcruxes involved?" She turned to Ella again, seeking out her eyes as she tried to explain. "It wasn't falling in line."
She paused, as if contemplating what she wanted to say next. But then it tumbled out of her anyway, too tied up now in the momentum of her story to be held back.
"Someone asked you once, in class, how it felt to come to this world. And you said it was magical." And her entire face seemed to light up. "Like living a fantasy. That's what you said. That you never could have expected you'd play a part in your favorite story. Help defeat the enemy you'd read about. Which meant…" She began to pace once again, seemingly bursting now. "It meant he was defeated once without you. I needed to know how it was all done. Without this prophecy. Without you, and Dan. And Robert."
And Ella realized then, with a growing sense of horror, where this was heading. Where everything would collide.
"The Ministry." Ella barely whispered the words, choking them out as vomit crept up her throat again. "You wanted the Stone. You wanted to go to Muggle London and read the books."
It was her fault. Everything.
Siggy nodded. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone." And there, her voice was pleading. "I meant to be in and out, but they saw me. Chased me. I… I was only trying to get away. I was out of options. I couldn't Disapparate. Saul had blocked all the doors. I had to use it." Tears glimmered in her eyes again. Dripped down to coat her cheeks. "I didn't realize using it would break the door to the Love Chamber. Destroy everything. I didn't mean to do it. Please, believe me."
Ella was trembling. She couldn't seem to stop. It was her. Her fault. She was the one who had made it all possible… who had allowed this to…
"The blackout," she whispered. "In Muggle London. It was you." Of course, of course it had been Siggy. A brand new inexperienced Traveler. Fueled by emotion. "The magical overflow blew out the transformer."
Siggy frowned slightly, as if unsure. Then nodded.
"And the library of Magical Archives," Ella added. "That was you, too. You used… used something of Saul's?"
"His blood was on my robes." Siggy looked away, as if suddenly ashamed. As if this, of all things, should be criminal. "I knew I didn't have access. I'd tried once before. I let Cyradil think I was Saul. It let me through. I couldn't take the books, so I copied everything. They seemed dangerous to leave around after that."
Ella felt sick. Disgusted at her casual tone. "How could you do this? God, Siggy, your father… How could you keep going—"
"I wasn't going to!" Siggy snapped, angry again. Fresh tears sparkled in her blazing eyes. "I didn't mean for him to die. Do you have any idea how it feels? To be responsible for someone you love—" She broke off, drawing in a sharp breath. "I could have died right then and been all right with it. If it didn't mean leaving Mum all alone. I still might have, if it wasn't for Dan."
"Dan," Ella whispered; his name a barely concealed moan.
"He brought me back," Siggy said, calming down again. Her hands twisted together, the wand tight between them. "Reminded me there were still things worth celebrating. He made me smile again." And she smiled at that, her eyes quite far away. "And then he took me to Muggle London, and I… I…"
"You saved that girl." Yes, Ella reckoned she understood. This compulsive need that Siggy held to be a hero. She was like one of those firemen she'd read about. Setting fires. Putting them out again. High on adoration. She pressed a hand against her aching head, squeezing her temple. Hadn't it been a bit like that back when she was Ella Foster; famous movie star? All those people knowing her name, loving her… the rush of it all. The worth that Siggy must have felt that day in London. Of course she would resume the chase; seek out that feeling again. And again.
"And then you came back… and you went to Little Hangleton… to Brycetown." She stumbled over the words, each of them distinctly painful. "And you did something. Brought them back. The horcruxes."
Siggy said nothing, but Ella could read the truth of it in her eyes.
"How?" she asked, because this part had eluded all of them. Even Hermione. Even Snape.
"It wasn't easy." Siggy smiled then, a note of pride creeping into her tone. "I tried so many spells. From the books I'd taken from the library. The things I remembered from before. I'd known about horcruxes for ages, you see. I read about them back home. They weren't a restricted topic; not like here. The information was so much easier to find.
"It was for Kasia," she explained, as Ella stared in growing horror. "I wanted to save her. To bring her back."
The words struck Ella somewhere in her chest. Thrummed there, like a black hole swelling.
"That's why Mum and Tata moved away. The shame. The memories. But also to keep me away from things like that. To put me in Hogwarts instead of Dumstrang."
She'd been barely eleven. It broke Ella somehow; this vision of a younger guilt-ridden Siggy perusing distant libraries for second chances before her parents had whisked her away.
"They thought it would be a better influence," Siggy continued, uncut by this story whose jagged edges left Ella bleeding. She supposed for Siggy they had long worn down with time. "But I remembered. All of it.
"It wasn't enough though. He really was dead. Voldemort, I mean. The ring was soulless. Whatever… whatever you all did at Shadow Hogwarts; it banished them. I knew they weren't really gone, though. Not forever. The casing was still there, which meant that piece of soul couldn't have been destroyed. So they had to be lost somewhere in Limbo. I needed something to bind to them. Call them back. A piece of his soul was the only thing that could have done it. But there wasn't anything like that. Not in this world."
And realization shot through Ella then, all guilt-wrapped and terrified.
"No," she whispered, her heart sinking.
"Yes." Siggy's eyes seemed to glow. Pride. Self-satisfaction. Ella saw all of it play out across her face. "I had the Stone. I knew where to go… when to go. I made a sync point. July 15th, 1994. A whole year before he came back, just in case."
"No," Ella said again. She was shaking her head, as if her words and actions could make it untrue. Why, why couldn't she have been content with being the only Traveler? She could have done that. Kept her power to herself. Ferried Daniyel and Robert between worlds as long as they needed. And yet she had chosen to harness that power. To let it loose.
A power she had never imagined could be dangerous.
"I took the ring," Siggy continued, somewhere far in the background. Ella could barely stand to hear any more.
"From the other world. The third world that exists only in the books you've read. The one Dan said is identical. It was a real horcrux. Alive and everything. So I brought it here. His soul isn't identical." She frowned at that slightly. "Did you know that? Similar, but different. So strange. I couldn't use it to bring him back. I tried that first. But it was similar enough to bind to the other horcruxes. I used it to reach out to Limbo and call them back. The ones that remained."
Ella's eyes burned. All her fault. What had she done?
"There was some kind of reaction." Siggy's voice grew hesitant. "An overflow of magical energy. I wasn't expecting… I had to leave the ring. I barely escaped. I didn't mean for it to reach the village."
Ella shuddered in the semidarkness, vomit creeping up her throat once again. Just another thing that Siggy didn't mean to happen. She swallowed forcefully.
"I couldn't go back after that," Siggy was still explaining. As if all of this was logical. Obvious. "The Ministry had people everywhere. And I needed a horcrux in hand to bring him back. There's a few ways to do it, did you know? To revive a Soul Breaker who's dead. It was complicated, though, because the main fragment had been destroyed. He needed a Transfer. I wasn't going to use some stupid spell he made up anyway. I bet he thought he was so clever. As if he was the first wizard to ever use a horcrux. Well I wasn't going to cut off anyone's arm. I'm not a monster."
"The tiara." Ella's voice was a rasp. She reached for the glass with a trembling hand, but only managed to knock it over. There was a crash. Glass shattering against stone. Siggy glanced over and hurried to mend the glass. To refill it. She handed it back to Ella with a shy smile.
"You took it from Hogwarts." Ella managed to gulp down several sips. "How did you get in?"
"Ariana's portrait." Siggy rattled off the answer as if it were some brilliant morsel of information she had been storing up all this time. Just waiting for the right moment to impart it on a worthy listener. "I read all about it in the books and knew it was the best way in. I was in the Hog's Head when Rookwood attacked the Aurors. It was the perfect distraction. I ran upstairs in the commotion. Told Ariana I was a student and needed safe passage back to the school. She's mute, you know? She didn't ask questions. It led me right to the Room of Requirement. And then I only needed to leave and come back. And the tiara was right there. Right where the book said."
Ella's stomach sank, twisting on the way down.
"I took it," Siggy whispered, a glow lighting up her eyes. "I went to Shadow Hogwarts that night. I broke open the tomb. I transferred the fragment of soul from the tiara to his body.
"I brought back Voldemort."
Ella was shaking. She couldn't seem to stop. She remembered every piece of that night. Every tiny detail. Dumbledore's body, charred black as cinders. Snape appearing at their doorstep. The coldness of Shadow Hogwarts. Too late. Just barely too late. Everything they had been hoping to stop was already in motion. Their fate already set. Her heart was shattering as surely as if she stood beside the broken door to the Love Chamber herself.
There was another sudden roar upstairs. A terrible crashing sound. More dust rained down from overhead.
"Oh my god," Ella whispered, dropping her face into her palms. Her hands were freezing.
Quiet resettled slowly, tentatively, as she sat there. The roars faded, as if struggling into silence. She looked up to see that Siggy had her eyes closed in concentration. She opened them after a long moment. They were dull. Exhausted. The shadows beneath them deep and black in the flickering light.
"Why is he… What is he doing?" Ella choked out.
A weary frown stretched across Siggy's face. "He's resisting me. Fighting the Imperio. I've got him, though. I'm stronger."
"How can you hold him like this?" Harry had been able to fully resist an Imperio by the time he was fourteen. How could Siggy maintain this level of control? With her pale face and deeply hooded eyes, she looked barely better than Ella felt.
"It… it was a small fragment," Siggy muttered, glancing away. "Smaller than the main soul. I did everything right. But he's not quite… complete. Mentally, I mean. He's not… He doesn't have the focus to stop me. But he's strong. Really strong. Feral." She shuddered, drawing her arms tight across her chest. "He only wants to kill. To destroy. If I wasn't holding him back, I'm not sure what he'd do. He'd kill. A lot of people."
She glanced up, her eyes glazing slightly. "There was an incident. Some Muggles in a cave nearby. I wasn't controlling him well enough yet. He escaped."
Ella couldn't help but notice how Siggy's arms were shaking. How weary her voice sounded. "I strengthened my Imperio after that. Day and night, I'm watching him. Always."
"It's why you've been so ill," Ella realized. "Ever since… You aren't sleeping. You're just letting him take everything you are. Siggy, I don't know what you're planning. What you imagined… but you need to stop this. Before he destroys you."
"Don't you think I know that?" Siggy's voice rose desperately, and tears sparkled in her eyes again. "Don't you think I haven't tried? I told you, I tried to kill him. I tried to stop it."
And at these words, despite everything, Ella felt pity slip into her heart.
"You forgot," she said. "You were so focused on using the horcruxes to revive him, you forgot you'd need to destroy them before you could get rid of him."
"Yes." Siggy shuddered, the fight slipping out of her. "I was going to hold him until the perfect moment. But after everything, it was too much. So I tried to kill him. Just upstairs. I couldn't even get him to any of the places I was considering— I knew I didn't have control enough for that. But the curse, it didn't…"
She paused to draw in a shuddering breath. "It went right through him. Like he was a goddamn ghost. It did nothing! And after that… Well, I knew that you were onto them. The horcruxes. When Dan told me they were investigating Saul. He said it was because Robert remembered something from Mysteries. But I knew that wasn't true. It was the missing horcrux books, wasn't it? You tried to find them in the library and saw that they were gone?"
"Yes," Ella said, swallowing hard again.
"I knew then," Siggy said, nodding sagely. "I knew you were after them. I did a spell to check, and there were only two left. I knew you must have destroyed the ring. And that you'd gotten the locket from Grimmauld Place. You did, didn't you? I saw the news about the fire. And the cup. Did you get that too?"
Ella nodded silently. The ring. The locket. The cup. All the links they'd painstakingly chipped away. As if any of them mattered. As if—
"So it's just Harry Potter then," Siggy breathed, the relief unmistakable in her voice. "He's the only one left."
Ella looked away, the awful knot in her stomach twisting harder. She thought she might vomit again.
"I tried," Siggy said suddenly, the words bursting out of her. As if she were the one who couldn't choke her mess down. "I know it's so awful. I'm so sorry. I didn't want this. I thought it'd be easier if I… but I couldn't."
"The crane," Ella said flatly, realization cutting through her. Knifelike. "That was you."
"Yes." Tears trailed down Siggy's cheeks once again. "I'm so sorry. I was losing control by then. I just wanted him gone. I wasn't thinking straight. I just… just wanted it to be over."
Ella said nothing. She couldn't form a single coherent word. She was near bursting with anger. With anguish.
"But I couldn't do it," Siggy repeated, her voice a bit stronger now. "I couldn't… couldn't kill him. Couldn't hurt you."
Couldn't. As if she hadn't tried. Ella's hands shook harder.
"I thought there must be a plan," Siggy explained. "So I went back. And I put everything I had into keeping him locked up. Everything. And I waited. At least I didn't have the Death Eaters to worry about. Their Marks wouldn't have come back since whatever destroyed his main soul broke their bonds, too. So I was going to wait as long as it took. Until… until you…"
Her eyes met Ella's and her words faltered, trailing into silence. Perhaps she could read the anger in Ella's face.
"I'm sorry," she repeated, sounding small now. "I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this. Please believe me. I panicked, when you saw. Those things in my bag. I knew it was all over. I didn't know what to do, so I…" Her voice caught. "I just wanted the world to see me. All of you. My parents. And Kasia. I wanted to tell her how sorry I am. To show her that I finally became the hero she deserved. And I ruined everything."
Her voice broke, and she began to cry in earnest, until her whole body shook with the sobs. Until the dusty basement was all full of them, and upstairs the creaking began once again.
Ella wished she could look away. That she didn't have to sit with this naked, ugly truth.
She wished she could feel simply anger. Not this moshpot of betrayal and sadness. Pity. All the things swirling in her heart until they felt bigger than she was.
Oh, how she wished it had been Rookwood.
She wanted to rage. To slap the girl silly. She wanted to break. To cry.
She sat there, watching the dust swirl as the candle grew paler by degrees. The light filtering in through the tiny windows shifted, the darkness turning to gray. And still, the questions plagued her.
She lowered her face, until only the dusty stone floor remained. Pushing the thoughts away. And she tracked the sharpening cracks with her eyes. And wondered what she would do in a world that was suddenly and painfully empty of Eliza.
How many things would she break for just another breath with her? For just another moment.
How many people?
Outside the gritty windows, predawn light filtered into the basement, painting the shadows a deep and angry red.
"Siggy," she said quietly, after a long, long while had passed. "I understand. I do. This doesn't have to be the end. We can still fix this."
"How?" Siggy sniffled.
"Let's leave," Ella said. "Let's just go."
"I can't go. Don't you see?" Siggy's face was blotchy, her eyes swollen and hooded. "Where would I go? This is it, isn't it?"
"It isn't," Ella insisted. She shifted forward, nearly gasping with the effort, and took hold of Siggy's icy hand in her trembling fingers. "We'll get out of here. You're right, we have been working on a plan. For Harry, that is. We'll put our heads together. We'll figure it out together."
"Liar," Siggy whispered, pulling her hand away. "The second we walk out of here, you'll have me shipped off to Azkaban. Everyone will know what I've done. Mum will never forgive me."
"That's not true. I promise." She reckoned she could promise. She could try to promise. Could she really say someone was gone if maybe they were only lost?
"I don't believe you." Siggy shook her head, her tears falling harder.
Ella sank to the floor, blowing out a shaky breath. She felt on the edge of collapse. If she didn't convince Siggy now, before she faded, she wasn't sure when she'd wake up next. If she'd wake up at all.
"So what's the plan, then?" she asked softly. "We just stay here in this basement until you lose control of Voldemort? He'll kill us both. Is that what you want?"
Siggy stared at the floor, saying nothing.
"Siggy, please," Ella pleaded. "So you made a mistake. So what? That doesn't mean we have to die here. There's people out there who'll be sad if we don't come back. Don't you have people waiting for you too? Your mum?"
Another tear slipped down Siggy's cheek.
"Siggy, this is mad. Please." Ella took a shuddering breath. "We can't just stay here…"
Siggy wrapped her arms tighter around her knees, bowing her head. Like a cornered animal.
"If you really want to be a hero, you'll stop this." Ella edged forward again. Placed a hand lightly on Siggy's arm. "You're the only one who can do it. You're not a bad person. I know you aren't. I know you didn't mean for this to happen. I promise, I'll do everything I can to help you. You have my word. That has to mean something."
Siggy didn't raise her head. But she didn't draw away either.
"I can't imagine how difficult this is," Ella said gently. "I have a sister, too. It hurts to even imagine… Siggy, please." She drew in a shaky breath.
"Being a hero is about doing the right thing, isn't it? Even when it isn't the easy thing to do."
She pulled at Siggy's hand. Gently but firmly.
"Do the right thing," she whispered. "Save me, Siggy. I won't last here. I won't make it."
Siggy glanced up at that, meeting her gaze. Her eyes were terrified.
"Let me go." Ella paused. "Come with me."
Her hand trembled. "Please."
Siggy blinked and looked away. The silence grew, pressing around them. Weighing down the air, which was already hot and humid and suffocating. Slowly, Ella lowered her hand. She was spent. She couldn't think of a single other word. Her heart was dry.
"All right."
The words were so quiet, it took Ella a moment to understand them. To realize what she'd heard.
Siggy drew in a shuddering breath, her eyes shining. "You're right. Let's… let's go."
"OK." Ella's heart leapt. She felt it shuddering in her chest. She wasn't sure how she kept her voice gentle, or calm.
Siggy climbed to her feet. Slowly. Much too slowly for Ella's liking. She glanced around, taking stock of the basement. As if seeing it for the first time. Dithering here and there.
"We should…" she muttered, almost to herself. "Right, we should go, and…"
"Yes, we should go," Ella said, fighting with herself to keep her tone level. If there was a time to let her fear spill over, she was sure it wasn't now. "Siggy, we should go now."
Siggy took a step. She hesitated, glancing back at Ella. "Here, I'll… I'll help you."
"Thank you," Ella said graciously, letting Siggy pull her to her feet in a dizzying motion. The floor of the basement seemed to tilt, like a ship roiling in a storm, and Ella stumbled, barely holding on to her arm.
"Are you all right?" Siggy asked. And then, before Ella could answer, "You shouldn't be so ill. It was only a Stupefy. You shouldn't—"
"It's fine," Ella gasped, drawing in a shuddering breath. She took a step, hoping Siggy would hurry along. "It's the chemo. There's potions I was supposed to… to take."
How long ago had it been? How many Quelling droughts and Blood Replenishers was she due for? It was no wonder she felt so awful.
"Oh." Siggy sounded aghast. "I'm so sorry. I'll take you right to St. Mungo's and get you sorted."
They made slow, painful progress toward the stairs. Ella grasped the railing, forcing herself upward.
"What is this house?"
"It was Tata's," Siggy said sadly, half-pulling Ella up the creaking stairs. "Our summer cottage. Mum hasn't come up since… since it happened. It was the perfect place to keep him."
Right. Because who wouldn't want a Dark wizard in their summer house? Ella would have laughed, had she had breath to spare.
She counted every step as they scaled it. Three steps. Five. Seven. It couldn't be much further now. Ten steps. She was nearly there. Twelve steps in all. And then, finally, the door. Looming ahead, dark and solid.
Siggy twisted the handle and pushed, letting the door swing open with a terrible creak. Loud enough to drown out Ella's furious heartbeat. She stared, her eyes adjusting to the early light.
A kitchen lay ahead. At least she thought it had been a kitchen, once. The cabinets were torn to shreds. Pieces of them littered the broken floor, which was only dimly reminiscent of colorful tiles. Sharp-edged pieces of the ceramic were scattered everywhere. Just ahead, an ancient, cast-iron stove lay on its side beneath a broken slab of countertop. It was a crime scene of a kitchen; as if someone had cast a hundred Confringos and smashed everything apart.
"This way," Siggy whispered, and she turned, pulling Ella alongside. Through the ruins of the kitchen. Ella's foot caught against a broken ceramic mug, and she stumbled, setting its remains skidding across the floor with a sound that seemed to echo and echo throughout the house. A moaning wail rose and fell somewhere in an adjoining room.
Ellla drew in a breath, picking her steps with care. Practically floating beside Siggy in the quiet as they turned left. Crept down a long corridor. Past a dining room with ravaged furniture. Past gaping holes in the wall, and chunks of wood, and scattered plaster. White dust clung to her, coating her shoes.
"Just there," Siggy breathed, her voice barely audible. The corridor opened up, depositing them in a wide room. A slanted glass-filled ceiling bathed it in light, leaving a golden hue everywhere. Casting overturned sofas and broken cabinets into sharp relief. Ella glanced around, her eyes trailing across the walls, with their crooked picture frames. Barely hanging on. Cracks running across the plaster like spiderwebs. The dark alcoves of doorways. A stillness hung in this room. Siggy stepped carefully forward, and Ella's foot sank into a worn rug. The ancient threads muffled her steps as they crossed the room. Quickly. Quietly. Slipping around the sharp edges of a splintered coffee table. Squeezing through the gap between the sofa and the wall. Siggy had just laid a hand on the door when Ella felt her stiffen abruptly. And then, before she could even draw breath to ask, a terrible shriek rent the stillness of the house.
Siggy whirled, sending Ella stumbling, and her shoulder hit the door. A burst of pain. She barely felt it. She straightened up, her eyes already honing in on the dark form that had materialized out of the shadow of a doorway.
She almost thought it was a dementor, at first.
Skeletal, within a mess of trailing black robes. Paper-thin skin stretched across sharp, jutting cheekbones. The figure raised a hand, stretched it in their direction. She glimpsed skeletal fingers. Just barely more than bone. Red eyes flashed, seeming to focus on her, and a gaping hole of a mouth opened wide, letting out an angry hiss.
The word within was barely discernible.
"Mudblood."
"Fuck," Ella gasped, her knees all but turning to water. Fear sliced through her. Her hand was trembling as she gripped Siggy's shoulder, just managing to stay upright.
Oh God.
Voldemort.
The shock sent her reeling. Even knowing the entire time that he was out there somewhere. Closing in. But seeing him right there, just feet away…
She couldn't stop shaking.
It was real. All of it. Everything.
Beside her, Siggy had shifted, her face drawn in concentration. She lifted her palms, as if trying to channel some force between them. Ella could practically feel the magical energy surging through her. Siggy's hands jerked.
Across the room, Voldemort let out a furious roar. He shifted slightly back, receding into the shadow of the doorway once again. His eyes glowed red from the darkness and the overturned sofa abruptly shot from the floor and crashed against the wall next to them, pelting them with bits of wood and plaster.
Ella screamed, choking on the dust, and stumbled back against the door. Pain sliced through her, and she tasted blood. The door handle jammed into her side. She scrabbled for it, searching out Siggy.
Siggy stood still, her raised arms trembling. Her hair was coated in white dust, and blood pooled from a cut on her cheek, but her eyes were locked on Voldemort.
"Back away," she commanded, her voice strained. A drop of sweat trailed from her hairline, mixing with the blood.
Ella froze, her eyes roving anxiously between them. Her hand still grasped the door. The entire room seemed to be holding its breath. She didn't dare move an inch.
Siggy raised her hands higher, shutting her eyes. Across the room, Voldemort's eyes flashed with a raw kind of fury. And then, before Ella could so much as breathe, he rose several feet off the floor and let out an inhuman scream — so loud the walls shook and the windows rattled — and Ella shrunk back against the door, her fingers clenching the cold metal of the handle. Something real and solid. She was sure they'd be lost if she let go. She almost didn't see Siggy collapse beside her. Almost. Just a flash of movement in the corner of her eye.
She whirled, her heart beating painfully against her ribcage.
Siggy was kneeling on the floor, her palms pressed to her face. She shuddered as Voldemort's scream rose in intensity.
"Siggy!" Ella didn't remember letting go of the door. She wasn't even aware of moving. But she was crouching on the floor, her fingers digging into Siggy's arm, tugging upward. Siggy's body was shaking even harder than her own.
"Get up!" Ella hissed, choking down her fear. "Siggy, c'mon!"
Across the room, Voldemort had stepped out of the shadows. He was drifting slowly toward them. Black robes swirling
"Siggy, get up!"
Ella's fingers fumbled fruitlessly in search of a wand as she reached within, seeking out her magic. Grasping wildly at the energy swirling within her.
It slipped away, like water. Impossible to hold.
She couldn't do it.
She was out of practice, too reliant on the pear wand to channel without it. And the fear that had once helped her only weakened her control.
Voldemort was only feet away, red eyes glinting with fury.
She closed her eyes, digging deeper. This couldn't be the end. It couldn't possibly. It couldn't—
Siggy's arm jerked within hers, and Ella heard her rasp, "Protego!" Felt the shield flare around them. She opened her eyes just in time to see Voldemort tear it down. His magic washed over her, a vile and sickly thing. It set her stomach roiling.
Siggy twisted her hand, sending a Blasting Curse in his direction. There was a bang, and the room shuddered, filling with dusty smoke. Visibility dropped to almost nothing. From somewhere in the smoke, Voldemort let out another furious roar.
"C'mon," Ella choked out, pulling Siggy's arm again. And this time, Siggy stumbled to her feet. Ella groped blindly for the door handle. They had to get outside. Had to. She had no plan beyond that. No concrete ideas of escape. Would there even be time to Apparate? Her hand closed on cool metal. Anything was better than here. She twisted, and the door flung suddenly open. She pitched forward, stumbling out onto uneven wooden planks. A porch. Pulling Siggy with her, their hands still clasped together.
"Ella!"
That voice. She couldn't believe it.
She stared her eyes sweeping across the porch. The lawn ahead. A forest of trees stretched up all around.
"Harry!" she gasped.
He was running toward her across the lawn, wand raised. Behind him she could just make out the others. Ron, Daniyel, Hermione, and Robert. All hurrying forward from the edge of the wood.
She wanted to cry out in relief. In warning. And then an awful sound rent the air from behind. A grinding, clattering, roar. She saw Harry's eyes widen in the very long moment before she felt the force of the explosion at her back.
She was weightless. There was only wind and pain and a sense of falling. And Siggy's hand abruptly torn from her grasp. Her fingers clutched at nothing.
She hit the ground hard, the breath knocked out of her. The taste of grass and dust was sudden and overwhelming in her mouth. Everything was spinning and ringing and hurting. She struggled to move. To make sense of the broken world. Sharp pain shot through her, stabbing her with every breath.
She lay there for a long moment. Letting the ringing slowly fade. And in its place was laughter.
She finally managed to raise her head.
The facade of the cottage had exploded outward, scattering its innards all over the lawn. Voldemort hovered in the wreckage, just feet away, his manic laughter rising in intensity. His face was raised to the sky. And some ten feet above him was Siggy. Floating over the partially collapsed house, trapped in a flow of magic.
Her eyes were wide and filled with fear as she struggled against the force that held her. Her fingers grasped weakly at the magically charged air, her skin paling by degrees.
Beneath her, Voldemort threw back his head, his arms spreading.
"No," Ella whispered softly. There was a heaviness in her heart. "No."
A tremor ran through Siggy. Then another. Her arms jerked abruptly away from her body, her fingers stretching wide. Her hair whipped back from her face, as if caught in a sudden wind. She began to scream.
And still, Voldemort's laughter grew louder. Overtaking Siggy's cries. Absorbing them. Ella could practically see it — the magical energy seeping out of Siggy and coalescing around Voldemort. Flowing into him. Siggy growing paler with every breath, until her skin became bone white.
Harry had frozen, still half a lawn away. His wand was trained on Voldemort. His expression a conflicted mix of shock, and pain, and disgust.
The laughter swelled, ringing in Ella's ears. Overtaking everything.
Harry cast a Stupefy. She saw the spell make contact with Voldemort. Pass through. It did nothing at all. He sent another spell. And another. The others hurried to join in. Above them, Siggy's face had grown gaunt, her eyes falling into shadow. The very life was seeping out of her.
"Ella." Daniyel was suddenly at her side. His cool hand grasping hers. His voice was a raw, broken rasp. "Are you hurt?"
Her fingers closed over his. "You have to help her." She could barely get the words out past her hammering heart. Why wasn't he helping? Why was Daniyel just sitting there while Voldemort tore Siggy apart? Tears rolled down her cheeks, thick and heavy. She thought she saw them mirrored on his face. Above them, Siggy's dark blue eyes had faded to the color of frost. Her head lolled forward, her cries falling silent. "Please, you have to…"
Daniyel's hand was squeezing hers.
"Siggy!" she gasped. "Siggy!"
She pushed against him, struggling to her feet. Her hand grasped his shoulder as she took a trembling step.
"Don't." His voice faltered and broke. She felt his arms close abruptly around her, pulling her back as Voldemort straightened, and Siggy tumbled to the earth.
Ella barely had time to take her in. To let her eyes trail across Siggy's still and broken body. To stare into her dull and lifeless eyes. To feel her heart shatter, before a snakelike hiss cut through the clearing, and she realized it was Voldemort.
It made her tremble; this wordless, soul-cutting sound. Perhaps it meant something to Harry. She saw his eyes cloud over where he stood. Pain flashed across his face. She yearned to run to him. To take his hand. But before she could utter a word, Voldemort swept up his arms and the broken cottage exploded outward with the force of a Confringo. Chunks of wood and glass and plaster filled the sky, like some apocalyptic storm. She barely had time to cry out before something slammed into her shoulder, crushing her painfully to the ground.
Blocking out Voldemort, and Siggy, and the entire sky.
.
.
.
A/N: I have been waiting and waiting to post this chapter for forever and a day. I hope you guys enjoyed it, even though it's kind of brutal.
Siggy has been such a cornerstone of this story. I do know some of you guys have suspected her. I do think I appreciate it. I hope I threw you off at some point. I hope this reveal is satisfying, and different enough from TP that it doesn't just feel like I do betrayal arcs. lol. Just for funsies, I do have a Siggy POV short story that covers the events of BPR, which I'm planning to post after the epilogue. So if that is of interest, do stick around. Thank you so much for following this story, it means the world.
Rina