Reckless

Chapter 37

Toni scrunched at her wet hair with a towel as she stepped out of the bathroom. Her robe was clinging to her curves, the thin material slightly damp from having absorbed the water she didn't bother to swipe off with her towel before she pulled it on. The carpet scratched against her bare feet as she shuffled towards her bedroom. Lucia passed her as she headed down the hall to her own room, gesturing to Toni that Spencer had arrived while she was showering. Lucia said he was in her room.

A smile lit Toni's face as she wondered if Spencer arrived quicker than she expected, or if she just took too long soaking her sore muscles under the hot water after she got done shaving her legs. Pausing on her way to her own bedroom, Toni checked in on her son. Romeo was asleep with a book on the pillow next to him. Toni marked his spot with a bookmark before she clicked off the small bedside lamp, leaving him with a gentle kiss on the forehead as she continued on her way.

When Toni entered her room, Spencer was standing in her bedroom near the dresser, facing away from her. There was a mason jar with fresh flowers in it sitting on her bedside table. The sight of him and his thoughtful gift warmed her insides. Toni closed the door behind her as she entered the room, but Spencer didn't turn towards the sound. At first, Toni found his unusual lack of vigilance humorous. But then she noticed the tense set of his shoulders. Toni's first assumption was that he must have had another altercation with his mother. She moved towards him, her arms already lifting with her desire to wrap them around him.

"Spencer," she started, "Is everything oh…" Toni paused in mid sentence, her arms wilting at her sides. Her lips parted as her body went as stiff as Spencer's. He turned towards her, his eyes narrowed with an accusatory stare. There was a small stack of papers in his hand. They fluttered slightly, with the small quiver of his muscles. A string of foul words crossed Toni's mind, though they didn't make it all the way out of her mouth. How could I have been so fucking stupid, she thought.

The papers in Spencer's hand were part of the scholarship packet for Romeo's new school. Toni was in the middle of filling them out, so she left the packet on her dresser. On top of that, she left all the supporting documentation she needed to submit with the papers lying out as well. This included Romeo's birth certificate. And her divorce decree stating that her ex husband wasn't her son's father. Toni had every intention of revealing the truth about her son's paternity to Spencer. Eventually. But this was not how she meant for him to find out. The look of shock and betrayal in his eyes felt like a knife to the heart.

"Let me explain," Toni suggested, taking a hesitant step towards Spencer and the stack of evidence in his hand.

"Explain?," Spencer repeated. He looked down at the papers like they were a snake that bit him. Then he met Toni's eyes with his. "Everything you've said to me, from the moment we met again, was a lie," he accused.

Spencer looked back down, shuffling the papers around in his hands as though he was going to find more secrets hidden in the stack. He'd clearly already found what relevant information there was for him to find. Spencer knew Romeo's exact birthdate and he got confirmation that Fletcher wasn't his father. Even if he didn't remember the date they slept together all these years later, which he did, Toni was sure it didn't take a genius to do the math.

"That's not true," Toni said. "I was just waiting for the right time to tell you."

"The right time?," Spencer said, repeating her words. His voice was rising in volume and pitch. "The right time to tell me would have been six years ago… when you figured out you were pregnant!" Spencer pointed towards the wall that separated her bedroom from Romeo's. "You had no right to keep my son from me!"

Toni blinked back the tears that were filling her eyes. Not only was Spencer full on yelling at her, which he'd never done in all the time she'd known him, his words were also bringing back a flood of painful memories. She sat in that bar waiting for him for hours and hours. The bartender had to kick her out so he could close the place up. Toni knew Spencer was on a case that went sideways in a really bad way. That's the only reason he didn't show up. And he spent years after that looking for her. But she didn't know that at the time. And this new knowledge didn't completely erase the painful memory of how hurt she was then. Or how many hours she spent agonizing over her decision not to involve him in her son's life. At the time, she thought she was doing the right thing by leaving Spencer alone.

"If you were that worried about it," Toni countered, "...you wouldn't have left me sitting alone at that bar!" Her tone was harsher than she intended, filling the room with all the hurt and pain she'd been holding inside. Her eyes filled with hot tears. The fact that she was crying over something she deemed herself strong enough not to cry over, embarrassed her. And her embarrassment added to her buried anger over the long past event.

Spencer balked, moving a step back from her as the realization of how much he'd hurt her sunk in. He never meant to hurt her. He never even knew he had the power to make her hurt, or any woman for that matter. But his anger resurfaced quickly, leading him to defend himself from what felt a lot like an accusation.

"I was on a case," he spit back. "You know that!" Spencer swallowed hard, his throat bobbing with the effort. "If you told me, I would have done everything I could for you! I would have helped you with the baby even if I didn't…" Spencer's voice cut off mid sentence, leaving his unspoken declaration of love hanging in the air.

Toni knew he was telling the truth. Spencer would have helped her no matter what. But in the heat of the moment, his boy scout style commitment to always do the right thing only twisted the knife in deeper. Her hurt fanned her anger. The last thing she wanted was for him to be with her out of obligation. That was her worst fear.

"Bullshit," Toni snapped. "I don't need your fucking charity! I don't need you at all! I can take care of myself!" With that, Toni reached for the papers Spencer was still holding in his hand. She snatched at them, her eyes widening when Spencer refused to hand the papers over. The papers rustled as he jerked them up and back, holding them out of her reach.

"Give those here!," Toni demanded, making another grab for the stack of rustling papers. "You have no right!"

Spencer jerked them further back, turning his body to keep them out of her reach. "I have just as much right as you," he argued.

Toni pushed forward, her body pressing against Spencer's as she attempted to snatch the papers from his hand. He twisted away from her, his elbows up and swinging wildly. Toni gripped his shirt and pulled, tearing the fabric with a loud rip. Spencer attempted to move back, colliding with her dresser and making the cheap piece of tagboard furniture rock against the wall. Toni pawed at him, grabbing the sleeve of his jacket and attempting to jerk his arm down so she could reach the papers. Spencer made a feeble attempt at pushing her back, but with only one arm and the strong desire not to hurt her, all he was able to do was free his jacket sleeve from her grasp.

Spencer twisted away from her again, but this time Toni grabbed the sleeve of his other arm and yanked. Both of them were deep into their hurt and anger. But Spencer's temper was quicker to cool than hers as he realized how ridiculous they were both acting. At that moment, he hoped that if he gave Toni her papers back, they might be able to sit down and have a calm conversation. However, when he stopped fighting back, all the force Toni was using to pull on his arm sent his elbow flying straight into her face. His funny bone slammed against her mouth with an audible thunk.

Toni released her grasp on him, stumbling backwards towards her bed with her face cupped in her hand. Her thighs hit the bed and she slumped against it. Spencer gasped when she lowered her hand to reveal that both her lips and hand were covered in blood. It was no more than a split lip, a superficial wound. But Spencer was instantly filled with regret the moment he realized he hurt her. He released his grasp on Toni's papers, letting the flutter down onto the dresser top where he originally found them.

"Toni," Spencer gasped, taking a hesitant step towards her. "Are you okay?" His instinct was to take her into his arms, but he was scared to even touch her after what just happened.

Toni stared down at her blood covered hand in disbelief. Her face hurt, but not badly. It was the sight of the blood itself that shocked her. Spencer hit her. She'd never been hit by a man in her life, at least not one that she wasn't arresting. The sight of the blood brought back a wealth of traumatizing memories from her childhood.

Toni stood up. She slammed both her palms into Spencer's chest, sending him shuffling backwards. "Keep your fucking hands off me!," she warned. Toni moved, preparing to shove at him again. But this time he caught her wrists with his hands.

"Stop," Spencer pleaded. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to! I would never hurt you."

Toni twisted her body, attempting to free herself from his grasp. Spencer held on, afraid that if he let go, she would go flying across the room like his elbow flew into her face. As Toni backed up, Spencer moved with her, trying to get her close enough to the bed that she would fall onto it instead of hitting the floor. His foot slid against the damp towel she dropped on the floor and he slipped, falling into her. They were close enough to her bed that they landed there. Spencer fell half on top of Toni as their legs tangled up together. Neither one of them was hurt. But unfortunately, this was the moment Toni's son chose to appear in her bedroom doorway.

"Mamá!"

Romeo's scream was filled with pure terror. The situation wasn't good. But it looked a lot worse than it was. Romeo didn't see the altercation that led up to that moment. All he saw was a man on top of his mother on the bed while she was bleeding from her mouth. Spencer scrambled off her and onto his feet just in time to hear the hard pound of Romeo's feet down the carpeted hallway. He assumed the boy was going to get Lucia for help. But he was wrong. Romeo reappeared in the doorway a moment later with an aluminum baseball bat in his hands, fully prepared to defend his mother with it.

Romeo darted forward, swinging the bat wildly in front of him. Spencer jumped back. The next swing almost caught him in the ribs. And it might have if Tony hadn't grabbed her son and started dragging him back. Romeo was hollering all the Spanish obscenities he knew, which was quite an impressive list considering he was only in kindergarten. Toni was adding her tears to the blood on her face as she tried to pry the bat from his hands. And Spencer was standing against the dresser in horror with his palms up like he wanted to surrender.

"Just get out," Toni hollered. She wasn't sure what the resolution would be to everything that just happened, or even if there would be one. All she knew was that she needed to calm her son down, and that wasn't going to happen with Spencer in the room. "Leave!," she added, her voice rising in volume. When Spencer still didn't move, Toni full on screamed at him. "GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

Her cursing finally got him moving. Spencer turned and fled the room, actually running out of her apartment at a full sprint. Once the door slammed shut behind him, Romeo finally released his grip on the bat in his hands. Toni tugged him against her, sinking to the floor and pulling Romeo onto her lap.

"Everything is okay. Everything is gonna be okay," she soothed, though she wasn't sure if she was talking to her son or herself.