Santana spent her days touring Columbia's campus, getting familiar with the astronomy department, and visiting and catching up with her old friends. She and Josie had coffee together every couple of days, even caught one of Rachel's plays together. She convinced Mercedes to go clubbing with her, visited Kurt's studio, avoided Blaine. She tried to fit herself back into her old life. She visited her old haunts, rode the subway and purposely got lost. Acted like a tourist and visited Times Square. If she moved back, she didn't know if she would live in the city, or the suburbs. The city was closest to the school, the suburbs closest to Quinn and Kelly.

Santana wasn't sure being close to Quinn and Kelly was a good thing. She knew things were changing inside of her, and she didn't like the direction it was moving. Space, Hawaii, and Sophia, might be better for her well-being.

But New York had Dr. Tambuwal, and the Richardsons, and her mom and dad were a short plane ride away, and if her agent succeeded in selling her book, it would be better if she was on the mainland.

On a day when Santana didn't have anything to do, but Quinn was busy with house chores, Santana ended up at the house. She had intended on watching the kids to make Quinn's work easier, but Quinn talked her into helping her with the laundry. The whole thing felt entirely too domestic to Santana, and what bothered her was how much she didn't mind that.

They chatted idly as they separated baby's clothes from little boy clothes, Santana working on the kids' stuff, while Quinn stuck to her and Kellen's things.

"Did you like me in high school?"

Santana paused in the item that she was folding, her brow furrowing. "Did Ilikeyou? Like, like you, like you?"

Quinn laughed, but she was looking intently at Santana. "I didn't mean it like that, but since you mentioned it, did you?"

Santana mulled it over while she folded up a shirt of Luke's. "I might have checked you out a couple of times. Who didn't? You're Quinn Fabray."

Quinn blushed. "I might have, too?"

"Might have, what? Checked me out?" Quinn nodded. "Yea?"

"But, I didn't realize I was doing it; I told myself I was just making sure that you were up to standards."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Of course that's what you'd tell yourself."

"But did youlikeme? Were we friends?"

Santana pushed the folded clothes aside, making room for herself to sit down. "Sometimes. Sometimes I hated you, sometimes just seeing you made my day."

"Oh yeah, when was that?"

"Ummm…there was this one time you smiled at me during some song that we were singing. I don't know, some stuff. Did you like me?"

Quinn was the one to pause. "You were my best friend. I might just be a glutton for punishment, or whatever, but even after you left me when I was pregnant with Beth, you were still the closest thing to a friend I had. That sounds…pathetic doesn't it."

Santana moved so that she could draw Quinn into her arms. "Yeah, but only because we both were pathetic in high school. Neither of us are who we were then anymore."

"And who are we now?" Quinn posed, snuggling closer to Santana. Santana leaned back, pulling Quinn with her, and upsetting a pile or two of clothes. They adjusted so they could look at each other on the bed. "We're Santana and Quinn," Santana answered. "Two neighboring stars, with our own worlds attached, our own planets orbiting each other, our own place in the cosmos. We feed off of each other, in a good way. We feed each other energy when we need it, and take it when we're low ourselves."

"You and your energy."

"The universe would be nothing without it," Santana said, blithely.

"I'd be nothing without you," Quinn said. "My marriage is falling apart, I don't know how much longer Kelly and I can last, but you, you have always been a constant in my life. You have always been there when I needed you."

Santana huffed, doing her best to not read anything into her words. "Well, I told you I would be, and I stick to my word, so-"

"When?"

"That night in the hotel. You asked me to stay with you. I told you I would."

"You're too good to me."

Santana nodded. "I am. Now quit lolly-gagging and get back to work. These clothes are not going to fold themselves."

"Lolly-gagging? Who thefuckare you?"

They both laughed at Quinn's words, and the previous intimacy of the moment was over.

(Leave him)

Santana wandered into the library, where Kellen was stationed behind his desk, two fingers of amber liquid in the glass in front of him. Kellen looked up in surprise at Santana's figure. "Where's Quinn?"

"Early night," Santana offered.

Kelly waved at the seat in front of him. "Have a seat, we'll drink."

Santana hesitated, but she made her way over. Kelly picked up the decanter, but Santana stopped him. "No drink," she said.

Kelly's eyes narrowed. "No?"

They both watched each other carefully. "I've given it up for a while," Santana said plainly.

Kellen replaced the lid on the bottle, and stood up, walking over to the little mini fridge. He got Santana a bottle of water, handing it to her. "Congratulations?"

Fear played behind Santana's calm expression. "Too soon to tell."

He sat back down behind his desk. Santana looked him over. "Maybe you shouldn't drink either."

He gave a harsh laugh. "Why the hell wouldn't I?"

"How much have you had to drink today?"

He shrugged. "Not enough to make the world go away."

Santana took his glass from him. "There's never going to be enough alcohol for that. You're fucking it up yourself, do you know that?"

Kelly glowered. "I'm not the problem! You are!"

"You think I'm the problem? She is practically begging you to love her-,"

"I do love her-,"

"You're pushing her away!"

"Wrong."

"Distancing yourself from her, isn't going to save your marriage."

"What the hell would save my marriage, Santana?" Kelly dug in his desk until he found a picture and flung it at her. It was the one from Prom. The same one that Santana had seen Quinn looking at a few days ago. It had been years since Santana had given that day any thought, much less looked at a picture. She didn't even know this one existed.

Kellen was looking at her with an indistinguishable look clouding his features. "This was high school," Santana dismissed.

"And yet…it was not nearly long enough. There's no marriage to save," Kelly concluded. "When are you moving back to New York?"

Santana shook her head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

The tears caught Santana by surprise. Usually tears forced him to action, but he didn't move to comfort her. He waited. "I'm in love with Quinn." It wasn't the picture that changed everything, it was just another piece of evidence on top of the growing evidence that Santana was coming to grips with lately. Kellen stiffened in his chair. "How can I take that fellowship, how can I move here, when I'm in love with someone that I can't have?"

Kellen was unable to move, and Santana didn't fault him for not being able to comfort her. "This is so fucked up!" Santana shouted, but quietly in case she woke Quinn, who she had to remind herself was just upstairs. "I never wanted to like you, you know?" Santana spat angrily. "I didn't. But you were just so damn likeable Kellen Richardson!"

Kelly laughed harshly. "If it makes you feel any better, I never wanted to like you either, Santana."

Santana shook her head. "It doesn't."

"If we're being really honest, I actually hated you. When Quinn told me that you two had slept together just when I was thinking things were getting serious between us, I wanted to beat the shit out of you. I mean if you're woman enough to steal someone else's girl, then you're woman enough to get hit cause of it. But…," he shrugged, downing his glass and pouring another, "I got over it."

"Why?"

"Because I loved Quinn, and Quinn loves you. Because she said it was a one time thing, and it happened out of nowhere, and I stupidly thought that so what if you got her that one night, as long as I get her every night after that. And then when you didn't tell her that you and Josie broke up before the two of us got married, I didn't hate you so much after that. And after Luke was born, I couldn't hate you at all, because I realized there was a very real chance that one day you would be my son's step mother, and that's not the message I wanted to send to my son."

"Kelly, I wouldn't…"

"Most people don't intend to break someone's heart; but that doesn't stop them from doing so, anyway."

"I'll stay in Hawaii. Quinn and I have been long distance friends for years; I don't see any reason why that has to change."

"How is that fair to anyone?"

"How is any of this fair toanyone? I don't know how to make this situation right!"

"And what about me?"

"You enjoy your wife and your kids."

Kelly shook his head. "Stay."

"And break your heart?"

"You think it won't be broken, just because you leave? My wife isn't in love with me anymore, Santana. I pretend like I don't know that, but that's all it is, pretend. The pathetic thing is that I love her so much that I haven't left yet, but in my heart I know there's no point in sticking around. I've been drunk more than I've been sober for the last couple of weeks. I know it's over."

(For Me)

Santana took the picture with her when she left. Alone in her rented bed, she stared at the look that the two of them had shared so very long ago.

Santana understood the sky. She understood, atoms, and electrons, and quarks. She understood dynamic energy, she understood physics, and calculus, she understood orbiting bodies, quagmires, supernovas, and black holes. She understood time. She understood irrefutable facts: she had loved and been in love with Brittany, and she had loved and been in love with Josie, and Quinn had loved and been in love with Kelly. None of those were refutable. But this picture…and the feeling that Quinn had given her over the years. How could all of these things be true at the same time? How could she have looked so much like she was falling in love with Quinn at Prom, but still have been in love with Brittany? How could she be planning a future with Josie, but still feel as if Quinn was home? Could the heart simultaneously belong to more than one person? Polyamory relationships existed, so she supposed the answer to that was yes, but…Santana hadn't been in love with Quinn when she was in love with Josie, and the same was true with Brittany, but she was in love with Quinn now, and she had been in love with Quinn before. So what was the truth?

And then there was the fact that she loved Kelly. Not like she was in love with him, but she platonically loved Kelly in a way that was more than a brother, but much less than a lover. She didn't want to hurt him any more than she wanted to hurt Quinn, or hurt herself. Brittany had once told her that love was the ultimate selfish act; Santana wondered what was more selfish: staying, or leaving. Kelly might hate her if she left, but how could she stay?

Santana woke up without realizing that she had even fallen asleep. She felt stiff, so she stretched, and when that didn't work, she decided to go for a run. Santana's mind drifted back to the runs that she and Quinn used to go on together. Brittany tagged along on occasion, but Brittany's dancing ate up most of her excess energy while she and Quinn were constantly worrying about their figures.

Santana remembered her mom telling her that the person that she had been at the end of her senior year of high school, wasn't the same person she'd been freshman year of high school, and it was true. The Santana from Freshman year would have never fallen in love with Brittany, let alone Quinn. The Quinn from Freshman year would have been hard pressed to find anyone to love her, beyond her looks. They changed, every year, and some years they had liked each other, and some years the changes had pushed them apart. Like magnets.

Santana was sweaty and out of breath when she returned to the house, and her phone was just lighting up with Quinn's name. Santana hesitated before she answered. "Hey, I was just coming over, what's up?"

The desperation in Quinn's voice instantly put her on edge. Kelly, hell all of them, had really been on edge lately. Had something finally happened? Kelly's car was in the drive when she pulled up to the Richardson home, and Santana felt her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.He wouldn't...

She heard angry shouting and a moment later saw Kelly emerge from upstairs.

"What's going on, Kellen?" Santana questioned.

Kellen turned his blood shot eyes on Santana. He lunged forward a few steps, but then was past her and slamming the door before Santana could piece it together. With thoughts only of Quinn's earlier desperation and of her safety, she rushed upstairs to check on her friend. When Santana saw her, all she wanted to do was gather her into her arms and hold her. In her mind, all of the Santanas, in all of the universes, and all of the galaxies looked at all of the Quinns, and thought resoundinglyyes.That'sher.

Quinn's legs gave out and Santana surged forward to capture her. She felt it the moment that Quinn was in her arms. If moments before death your life flashes before your eyes, then moments after falling, your love flashes before your eyes, and Santana saw every past moment with this person in a new light. It was like the shadows had switched, had changed, were showing her different angles so that she was seeing the same thing, but in a completely different way. Her heart ached, and she held Quinn tighter so that she didn't shatter herself. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Quinn's eyes flickered, and she stared at Santana for a long time before tuning her head into Santana's body and cried.

Santana rubbed a hand along Quinn's back, smoothing down her hair. "Come Josephine in my flying machine, and it's up she goes. Up she goes."she sang quietly, while she waited for Quinn to get her cry out.

After what felt like hours, the sobs subsided. Quinn turned her face up to look at Santana. "It's over."

Santana's hand didn't pause. "What's over?"

"My marriage."

Santana wiped a few tears away. "Why do you say that, love? What happened?"

"I fell in love," she whispered. Santana bit down on the bile that was rising in her throat. Quinn held on to her gaze, and Santana felt like time stopped. "With you," she said, even quieter. "I'm in love with you, Santana."

Santana wanted to look anywhere but at Quinn, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. "You can't be."

"I am! For years, I've wondered if Kellen was cheating, and so today I followed him-," Quinn didn't notice Santana pulling away, "And there was this girl."

"And that made you realize you loved me," Santana questioned, weakly. "Because Kelly was cheating?"

"No. And yes, but Kelly wasn't cheating. He said something to me, and it made me think. He said that I was thinking that he was cheating, because I wanted it to be so. Because I wanted an excuse to not be in this marriage anymore, because I was looking for a reason to be with you."

"Quinn-,"

"And it's true! I didn't realize it was true, but it is. I've wanted to be with since you came home from Lesbos, since you held my hand on the train, since you held me at prom; I don't know how long, but it's true. All, this time, it was like you said. I was in the wrong orbit. It took me awhile to get back to the right one, but it's you, Santana. I know, now, that it's you."

Santana was looking green around the gills. "Because Kelly was cheating?"

"He wasn't-,"

Santana shook her head. "He was," she whispered, softly. "I…oh, for fuck's sake, Fabray. You and your goddamn timing!"

Quinn drew back. "I don't understand."

She's not sure if she would have actually explained, but she didn't get the chance to. That queasy feeling in her stomach rose, and Santana pulled away from Quinn, rushing for the bathroom on the other side of the house. She just made it before she emptied the contents of her stomach.

(Leave your lover)

Santana left Quinn's, without a word to her. She didn't know what to say. She drove back to her rental, fighting tears.

She stopped when she saw Kelly's car. He got out when she did, and walked up to the front door without a word being said. "You here to kill me?" Santana half-heartedly joked.

Kellen looked like the burning man, barely holding on. She let him into the rental. He followed her into the room, where she started to pack.

"You're actually leaving?"

Santana didn't look at him. "What does it look like?"

"It's over, Santana."

Santana nodded, stuffing at random. "It is."

Kelly came up behind her, placing a hand on top of hers. Santana only stilled because she had to. She found herself leaning into him. "I can't deal with this right now, Kelly. I can't, and I refuse to be the reason that you and Quinn…if you don't want to be with her, and she doesn't want to be with you, fine, but I won't be the reason."

Arms went around her. "Please don't leave. She's going to need you.Ineed you."

She pulled away.

Santana finished packing the last of her things. She called Uber, and handed Kelly the keys. "It's yours until September 1st." Santana awkwardly maneuvered her way down the stairs. "If you need a place to stay."

(Leave him for me)

Santana lay on her back expectantly, heart in her throat. She'd been here before, and she didn't want to be excited, but she couldn't help herself. The doctor turned on the volume, and there it was. A steady thrum. The doctor smiled at Santana. "That's your baby's heartbeat."

Santana closed her eyes and concentrated on the sound. She could feel the sound filling up every part of who she was. She opened her eyes when she felt a tap on her shoulder. The doctor pointed to the screen. "And that's your baby."

Any cautioning that she had done to temper her enthusiasm flew out the window. She had been here before, she didn't want to hope, but she felt like her world was exploding open. She was looking at her baby. Hers.

When she left the office, Santana carried the sonogram with her, clutched in her fist. Her phone rang in her pocket. She didn't even look at who was calling before she declined the call. She looked down at the picture in her hand. "It's just me and you, baby," she whispered.

And it's up she goes.