Judit's apartment wasn't far. A ten-minute walk from the station. They'd make it in about five, at the pace they were running. They were silent most of the way. Harry tried to think of things to say, to distract her, to keep her from sinking down into her thoughts, but every topic he could think of seemed either too lighthearted or too depressing. He closed his eyes for a moment as he ran, feeling his way along streets and canals. If he really wasn't imagining or hallucinating this connection to the city, maybe he could use it to find Bastien?
His senses were still just enough in his body that he could move automatically - he felt himself dodge out of the way of a bicycle heading toward him. Most of his attention was spreading out over Jamrock, trying to narrow down the location of the person known as Bastien Minot. It was hard - there were so many people, and it was hard to tell them apart from this distance. He pushed deeper, into their emotions, trying to find the heartache and despair of a man who would leave his two children alone in their apartment.
One man stood on a bridge, looking down into the water. Harry pushed in closer. The man was holding a bouquet of flowers, carelessly, as though he didn't know what to do with them.
EMPATHY:He's just been rejected.
Not Bastien, then. Or, hopefully not. It wasn't a clear picture - gestures and lines appearing in Harry's mind like a rough sketch, overlaid with feelings and colors, making it hard to recognize a person's features. But the man didn'tfeellike Bastien.
HIS NAME IS soft voice of the city echoed through Harry's mind. If he wasn't hallucinating all of HAS BEEN WORKING TO EARN ENOUGH MONEY TO IMPRESS A WOMAN. HIS WORK WAS FUTILE. SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER. HE IS DECIDING WHETHER TO THROW HIMSELF FROM THE BRIDGE.
EMPATHY:We should help him!
LOGIC:We can't. If we go help him, we can't watch Judit's kids, and she can't look for Bastien.
SUGGESTION:Keep looking. If we can find Bastien, maybe we'll be in time to help Remy as well.
Harry pulled back from the man, sailing through the city. There was a figure lying in an alley.
HER NAME IS ELISE. SHE IS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD.
LOGIC:She's not the one we're looking for - do you know where a man named Bastien is?
SHE RAN AWAY FROM HOME SIX MONTHS AGO. SHE IS SLOWLY DYING OF MALNUTRITION.
Somewhere, back in his body, Harry felt his heart speed up.
EMPATHY:We can go to her! She's not too far!
PERCEPTION(SIGHT):No, we can't - that alley was on the other side of Jamrock. We'd spend an hour just getting there.
SUGGESTION:She's not in immediate danger - we can find Bastien, check on Remy, then bring Elise some food.
Almost unbidden, Harry's perspective shifted, now to a young woman holding a baby.
HER NAME IS EMILY. THE BABY IS BEN. BEN NEEDS MEDICATION, BUT EMILY CANNOT AFFORD IT.
LOGIC:Stop, stop, we're trying to find Bastien!
EMPATHY:We can help her, too! We have some money!
Far away, Harry felt himself panting. His heart was thumping wildly. The visions started to come faster, each one in focus for a shorter time.
THIS ONE IS DORIAN. HE WAS FIRED FROM HIS JOB. HIS WIFE IS PREGNANT WITH THEIR THIRD CHILD. HE IS TOO ASHAMED TO GO HOME.
LOGIC:No, no, no!
EMPATHY:I don't know if we can… I don't know about any jobs…
HIS NAME IS LIAM. CANCER IS EATING AWAY AT HIS STOMACH.
EMPATHY:We can't– I don't know what to do–
ELECTROCHEMISTRY:Hey, somealcoholwould let us forget about all this…
THIS ONE IS MAGRITTE.
EMPATHY:Stop, please, I can't–
SHE IS BEING ABUSED.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY:Get some booze in your system,now!
HER UNCLE–
ELECTROCHEMISTRY:You know where you hid the last bottle.
PICKS HER UP FROM SCHOOL–
ELECTROCHEMISTRY:The one they couldn't find when they cleaned out your apartment–
EVERY DAY–
HALF-LIGHT:STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP STOP STOP–
"Harry? Harry! Are you all right?"
Harry's consciousness snapped back into his body. Every inch of his skin was covered in sweat. He was bent over, panting, his heart pounding, a sharp pain in his chest. Nausea churned in his belly. Judit crouched in front of him, looking into his face, her face pinched in concern.
COMPOSURE:It's all right - keep it together. Keep it smooth.
DRAMA:Smoking harms your lungs, sire. Use that to your advantage.
Harry groaned, willing the nausea to recede. "I just–" He spat on the ground. "I need to stop smoking, probably." He wiped his forehead on his sleeve. His hands were shaking.
"Are you sure? You looked…pretty upset." Judit patted him nervously on the shoulder.
"Yeah, I-I think there may have been a…panic attack…component. You know, if it's hard to breathe, you freak out, which makes it harder to breathe, which freaks you out more…I'll be okay." He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
I AM SORRY, HARRIER. I CANNOT SPEAK TO MANY INDIVIDUALS. IT IS HARD FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND HOW YOU PROCESS INFORMATION.
EMPATHY:It's like that all the time for you, isn't it?
YES, I CONTAIN AN OCEAN OF SADNESS. BUT ALSO BEAUTY, AND TRUTH, AND JOY IN SMALL MOMENTS.
"Well, we're here," said Judit. She stood and turned toward an apartment building across the street. The cheerful yellow illumination from the streetlights lit the first floor, but the darkened silhouette of the building continued upward and out of sight, the darkness pierced by a handful of small white square windows. "Do you need a minute before we go inside?"
PAIN THRESHOLD:She'll give you that minute if she has to, but every second her kids spend alone, and every second she's not looking for her husband, is agony.
Harry straightened up, pressing a hand to his chest. The pain there had faded. He could still feel his heart thumping under his ribs, but it was slowing gradually. "No, I'm okay. It's getting better."