The Light in the Darkness

Chapter 14: Shattered Light

We're back sooner than we thought this time! I've actually had this chapter written for over a week, but I wanted to wait until today. I want us to ring in the New Year together.

NOTE FOR THIS CHAPTER: As you all know, Arwen and Aragorn speak Elvish during this scene. Neera is fluent in this both major forms of Elvish, i.e. Sindarin and Queya, and will be communicating with them when the time is right. I have left the translations for their dialogue next to the Sindarin language as you read.

ANYWAY!

Let's return to the great love story of our two favorites, Frodo and Neera.

DISCLAIMER: I sadly do not own any aspect of Lord of the Rings. I only own the story, Lin and Neera who tells the story.

Like frigid ice.

That is how I would describe how he felt.

As if he had spent his entire life living in a poisoned, frozen wasteland without having ever experienced the warmth from the sun.

It had been at least two days since the incident and we were still nowhere near Rivendell. In that short span of time, we barely stopped and when we did, it was only for a moment. It was quite bothersome to Sam, Merry, and Pippin, but they never complained. I was so proud that they had managed to find the strength to keep going even though all they wanted to do was simply collapse to the ground and give up. But they never did. They remained strong and firm.

It sadly wasn't enough to make the situation more durable.

More than that, Frodo had speedily gotten progressively worse. He couldn't even speak anymore, his throat was so hoarse from writhing and screaming in pain. He was as pale as snow in contrast to the rosy warmth that he had always had. In the course of the day that we had been traveling, his temperatures had varied. Sometimes he burned up and other times such as now, he was as cold as ice. Although over the past few hours, his temperature remained steady at glacial levels. I sadly didn't have enough cloth to cover him up from the coldness he was experiencing. I had placed his cloak firmly around him, his hood over his head. I held him against me and my cloak to try to keep him warm but to no avail. He was still as cold as he was before. I didn't care how cold it was. I refused to let go of him. There were times when he tried to return my embrace, but mostly he could barely move. At all times, I could feel the pain of Frodo. I could feel the piece of the blade go throughout his bloodstream, causing him to become colder and more lifeless with each passing minute. The poison was incredibly powerful, potent and quick. It was very painful to watch the person I care for suffer like this and I not be able to do anything to help him. Somehow I could feel every emotion and every single ounce of pain that he was feeling. Right now, his mind was so far gone that he could barely register the pain anymore. It was heartbreaking to watch.

There was no other way to say it. He was going to die. He was going to die because of me.

We had stopped briefly to gather ourselves. Strider, Merry, Sam, and Pippin holding torches and keeping watch in case any of the Wraiths came this way. We couldn't stay here for too long. The Wraiths were looking for him. I lay him down on the ground. He had not left my arms or my sight since Weathertop. I looked down upon my friend to take a full look at him.

Oh, Frodo.

This was not the person I knew.

His skin, once bright and rosy and warm had taken on a form of a putrid combination between purple and white. He looked pale as a sheet. His entire face now laced under a layer of sweat, causing the top of his hair to stick to his forehead. Upon looking closer, you could see some of the veins from his face start to become visible around his eyes. The azure blue eyes that I adored so much were now clouded and hazed. Once sparkling and full of life now looked hollow and sickly. Eyes that always looked at me with such sincerity and honesty, even when in danger. The hollowness of the eyes hurt more than anything else. They looked like they had had the life sucked from them until there was nothing left.

It was further proof that he was dying.

It was difficult to face the reality that he was fading and was not going to last much longer. With each cry and shriek of pain, it broke my heart even more. I couldn't bear to think about it. I hated myself and Strider for allowing this to happen to him. I had failed him. I had failed to protect him.

I couldn't show any weakness at this moment even though I had cried so much after the incident happened.

"Sam," I said quietly, alerting him. "Could you please come sit with him and me?"

I felt weak asking for help, but I needed someone with me. Someone that wasn't Strider. I had known Sam as long as I had known Frodo. We had become friends, as well. Sam nodded silently, understanding why I was asking him to do this. He sat by me, looking down at Frodo struggling.

I could tell that Sam was suffering as much as I was in this moment. We couldn't rely on Strider for any form of comfort, so we needed to stay together. I didn't grab his hand, because that was something I only did with Frodo. But I did look in his direction to let him know that I was just as much a crutch for him as he was for me. I pulled Frodo's cloak more around him and Sam helped me.

Frodo appeared to be looking up at something. He had stopped writhing in pain for a few moments to look at the sight above us. His eyes wandering between us and the sight.

"Look Mr. Frodo!" Sam said happily in an attempt to make Frodo smile. "It's Mr. Bilbo's trolls!"

But then Frodo started crying out in agony yet again, shutting his eyes tightly and opening them again.

"Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked, pressing his hand against Frodo's forehead. "He's going cold!"

Sam hadn't known that Frodo had been freezing for several hours now. Only Strider and I had known. As much as I hated him, he had been making suggestions to me as to how to keep him as comfortable as we can. Some of them helped and others didn't. Frodo just continued to cry out in pain, slipping further and further away from us.

These shrieks and cries from Frodo shattered my heart. He was worse than he was before and was fading away from us quickly. He was running out of time and there was nothing we could do. By the time we reached Rivendell, Frodo would already be beyond our reach.

"Is he going to die?" Pippin asked sorrowfully.

It was horrible that Pippin had to learn the harsh lessons of this trip like this. But it's better than he learns them now.

Strider turned around to face him, torch blazing brightly in his hand.

"He's passing into the shadow world. He will soon become a wraith like them."

Once he became a Wraith, the person I had known and come to care for would be gone forever. His pure and bright soul lost to the darkness.

He cried out again. This time in response to the Wraiths' shrieks. It just confirmed what Strider was saying. He was becoming one of them.

I couldn't bear to see him in such pain. I held him close to him in an attempt to get him to stop calling out for the Wraiths. They were getting closer.

"They're close," Merry agreed, holding his torch.

"Sam, do you know Athelas plant?" Strider asked.

"Athelas?" Sam asked.

"Kingsfoil," I clarified, not tearing my eyes away from Frodo.

"Kingsfoil," Sam said in recognition. "Aye. It's a weed."

"It may help to slow the poison down," Strider said. "Hurry!"

They both ran off to find the plant. I had heard that Kingsfoil was helpful in these matters with poison, but whether that applied to this particular poison was something I couldn't answer.

"What can we do, Neera?" Merry asked.

"Get closer to me. We have to keep trying to get him warm. Hold your torches near me."

They did as they were instructed, holding the torches closer to Frodo and me.

I lay down on the ground next to Frodo, gathering him up in my arms again very gently, attempting once again to try to keep him warm. He kept crying out in pain. I touched his face again. As Sam had said, cold to the touch. I pulled my cloak over us even though I knew it was a futile effort.

It is unbearable to watch someone you care about suffering and you being unable to do anything to alleviate their pain.

I could feel the flames near us both, but it wasn't helping him at all. It was like he didn't even feel my touch or anything.

But then, he turned in the other direction, as if he saw something.

"Frodo?" I said, looking in the direction he turned.

And then I saw someone I hadn't seen in a very long time.

Lin and my old childhood friend and guardian.

The Lady Arwen herself.

I was so in shock to see her here of all places. I pulled myself away from my beloved friend to show my respect to her.

"Mui ladui, Arwen," I said, bowing as low as I could to the ground. I hadn't been graced with her presence in so long. It was truly an honor to see her again, even under these circumstances. [My lady, Arwen.]

But what was she doing here?

"Who is she?" Merry asked.

She returned with Strider. Both of them knelt down to my level next to Frodo.

"Frodo," Lady Arwen said, calling out to him.

But there was no response. Frodo was fading away. His body beginning to jerk uncontrollably. I had been trying to speak to him for hours and there was barely any indication that he could hear me. The only thing that occupied his mind now was the pain throughout his whole body. He wasn't hearing us anymore.

"He's fading," she said sadly.

Strider bit off a piece of the Athelas plant and pulled back Frodo's shirt to treat the wound. It looked far worse than it did last night. Now looking as if it was poisonous to the touch. His body was just as pale and sickly as his face. I grabbed his hand to prepare him. I knew that putting the Kingsfoil into the wound would only cause him more agony.

"He's not going to last," Lady Arwen said sadly.

Strider placed the Kingsfoil into the wound and Frodo gasped out in pain yet again, squeezing my hand.

This Kingsfoil isn't going to help him. Even if it did slow the poison down, it wasn't going to do us much good. The poison was so embedded in his body now. Even all the Kingsfoil in the world would not help him.

"We must get him to my father."

Only Lord Elrond, Lady Arwen's father would be able to save Frodo. But getting him to Lord Elrond was the problem.

"I have been looking for you for two days," Lady Arwen said.

I picked Frodo up in my arms again, pushing Strider's hands away from him. I was still infuriated with him and his actions. As such, I refused to let him touch him.

"Where are you taking him?" Merry asked breathlessly, but the three of us ignored him.

"There are five Wraiths behind you."

I was shocked to hear her say that. Her father Lord Elrond must have foreseen everything that had happened here. He was blessed with the gift of Foresight. She must have gone off to find us without his permission. She was quite a rebellious and determined woman after all. Her bravery could rival some of the greatest warriors of Middle Earth.

"Manen agoreg?" I asked her. [How do you know that?]

"Where the other four are, I do not know."

I placed Frodo very gently on top of Lady Arwen's horse. If we left now, I could potentially get him across the river bank.

"Dartho guin perian. Rych le ad tolthathon," Strider said to Lady Arwen. [Stay with the Hobbits. I will send horses back for you.]

My eyes widened. This man could speak Sindarin and personally knew Lady Arwen? Once again, just who is this Strider? He was clearly far more than just a Ranger from the North.

I was about to interject, but Lady Arwen took care of that for me.

"Hon mabathon. Rochon ellint im." Lady Arwen insisted back to Strider. [I'm the faster rider. I'll take him.]

Strider remained unconvinced. For once, we agreed. Lady Arwen shouldn't be the one taking on the burden of not only protecting Frodo but facing the nine Wraiths alone. That would be difficult for anyone. I couldn't ask my mother's kin's only daughter to do this for us. She was too important to him and she was all he had.

"Andelu i ven," Strider said, trying to persuade her not to do this. [The road is too dangerous.]

"Mui ladui, theui tur-'t negr- nin. Andelu i ven. Im tur-'t let cin ceri- hi an ammen," I agreed. This was my responsibility. My fault and I needed to see it through to the end. I was the only one that they couldn't hurt, so I had to do this. I couldn't put her in harm's way. [My lady, they can't hurt me. The road is dangerous. I can't let you do this for us.]

But as always, Lady Arwen remained persistent in her position.

"Frodo fîr. Ae athradon i hir, tur gwaith nin beriatha hon." [Frodo's dying. If I can get across the river, the power of my people will protect him.]

She looked Strider directly in his eyes.

"I do not fear them."

And I fully believed her. I admired her immensely as a child due to this look in her eyes. That look without fear and with determination and dedication. When she had this glance upon her, none would be able to stand in her way. I trusted her with my life. I would have to trust her with my beloved's life, as well.

Strider took her hand very tenderly. The way he looked at her was what struck me more than anything. They weren't just acquainted with each other. It seemed far deeper than that.

""Be iest lîn." [As you wish.}

She smiled softly back at him.

I didn't want to make Lady Arwen do this. Even though she was a fierce woman and as she said, one of the best and fastest riders I had ever seen, this was our responsibility. The road was too dangerous. Lady Arwen's fierceness against not one, but potentially nine Wraiths? I did not like those odds at all. Even Strider, as strong of a swordsman as he clearly was, would not be able to take on all nine while on horseback. The Wraiths were unable to harm me due to the curse as such, I would be less a liability than Lady Arwen and Strider.

But Lady Arwen's mind was made up and I had no choice but trust that she will be able to do this.

She got up on her horse, and Frodo moaned in pain once more.

"Arwen," Strider said, his eyes never leaving hers. "Ride hard. Don't look back."

"Please be safe, my lady," I said silently as she rode away.

"Noro lim, Asfaloth, noro lim!" Lady Arwen said and like that, she and Frodo rode off into the moonlight night. [Ride fast, Asfaloth, ride fast!]

I prayed that she would survive this. I glanced after Lady Arwen as she took my beloved friend farther and farther away from us. Would she be able to do this? Lady Arwen was quite formidable, but there was only one of her against nine of them. It would have been wiser for me to go as I could not be hurt by any of the Wraiths no matter how hard they tried.

I had to put my faith in Lady Arwen as I had always done. I just hated the fact that Frodo was getting farther and farther from my reach and I was now no longer in control over what could possibly happen to him.

A thought that seemed to be shared by Sam, Merry, and Pippin.

"What are you doing?!" Sam shouted at both of us. "Those Wraiths are still out there!"

Sam, don't you think we know that already? I tried not to think about it. It felt like my heart was leaving with him. There had been five Wraiths that had been chasing us from the start and now I just let the daughter of the kin of my mother ride off with Frodo to potentially take on all nine of them at once. I looked after their disappearing forms as they rode off into the woods, getting farther and farther away from us. It took every ounce of willpower not to go chasing after Lady Arwen and demanding I go with her, as well. I let Frodo out of my sight for an instant and now we were here. Frodo's fate was no longer in my hands. If something went wrong, the Wraiths could take Frodo and the Ring back to Mordor. But more importantly, if Lady Arwen failed, Frodo would be gone forever.

I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to him.

I shook my head.

No. Lady Arwen would be able to do this. She knew what was at stake.

I glanced up at Strider. His expression matched mine. It was clear that these two shared a deeper relationship than I had previously thought. He was just as worried about her and Frodo as I was. As much as I shared Sam's sentiments, there was no other way.

We had to leave the rest to Lady Arwen.

Regardless, we now were alone with no choice but to trust that Lady Arwen would be able to save Frodo.

Please, Frodo. Hold on.

The night turned into day and we continued our quest to make it to Rivendell. No one said anything at any point during the trip. There was nothing to be said. The air between us all felt extremely heavy. On the outside, I managed to look composed.

But inside, my heart was hurting. It burned with each step we took. Frodo and I had never been parted in our time together. Of course, Frodo had usually left the house in order to go into town when we were living together, but this was different. It felt so incredibly lonely not having him with me. I felt hollow and hurt all at once. I felt so much all at once that I felt completely numb. Even though we were apart, I could still feel everything he was experiencing as if he hadn't left my side at all. My body was here walking with my three companions and Strider to Rivendell. But my heart was miles away with him as his soul was fading away from this world.

I don't know how much longer I can walk and pretend I'm not completely falling apart.

It was daytime and yet the world looked so pitifully dark. The sun was high in the horizon and yet it felt hollow and scarce. I didn't even feel it. It didn't feel like it was actually real. The world felt so dark in spite of the sun's presence. It felt like the light was leaving my world. With each step, Frodo's heartbeat grew weaker and colder. With each step, my heart ached and longed for him.

Why did it take me so long to realize it?

I clutched my chest as my heart constricted in the pain of the reality I faced. My beloved is dying and I'm here walking to Rivendell unable to say or do anything or else I'll fall apart. I'm an Elven princess and I can't even hold myself together because the one I care about more than anything in the world is dying and it's my fault!

I could say it now. I could admit it now. No matter how painful it was to admit it to myself under these horrible circumstances.

I love him. I love Frodo. I love Frodo Baggins.

I am in love with Frodo Baggins of the Shire.

I loved Frodo with every fiber of my entire being. And I had known it all along and never wanted to admit it to myself or to anyone.

I had known it when he and I first gazed into each other's eyes upon falling out of my Grandfather's cart.

I had known it when we had held hands for the first time.

I had known it when we danced together at his uncle's birthday party.

I had known it when I saw him half naked by the river.

I had known it when I dove into the water after him to save his life and when I held him after we escaped.

And I knew it when I had held him for the first time the night before the attack at Weathertop. I had said that it felt intimate and personal, more than it had ever been before. I had always felt a connection, a strong bond between us, even when we met and spent the day together. That night I had held him the way I had always wanted to hold him. I held him as the man I loved. Like he was my lover. I had known it all along and had denied it over and over.

My heart knew everything before my mind did.

Every descendant from Shasta was born into this world with the destiny of meeting their destined love. That chosen one would become the only love of that person. He was the one that I was destined to be with, destined to love, just like Father was for my Mother. We descendants were only brought into this world to be killed by love, as Shasta's punishment for her deep love for Isildur. We were meant to suffer for that love, which is why the one that shared our heart was brought into this world as well. The two were supposed to have such a deep connection and such a genuine and true love that it would cause nothing but pain and heartbreak. A love so true, so real and so deep that it would cause complete devastation and despair in the darkest moments, enough to cause murderous madness. When it came to Frodo, I was completely irrational. Look at what I had done. I had almost killed a man because I thought he might have hurt Frodo. Thrown myself into a body of water in order to save him from drowning. Willingly entered battle with Ring Wraiths in order to protect him. My father taught me to never act impulsively and yet I threw away everything I had ever learned from my father for his sake. I loved my father, my sister, and my grandfather deeply, but when it came to Frodo, it was a completely different story. It was as if the world was brighter and wonderful. It was as if the sun, moon, and stars all came together. Life had never made sense until I met him.

I realize now that I did all of those things because I love him.

This feeling I have felt towards him has never been admiration or friendship or anything like that.

It's love. It has always been love. From the moment we met to now as he's dying.

It was love so desperate and strong and powerful that it was utterly impossible for me to continue to deny it.

I cried again. I love him. I love him so much, so painfully much, and now he was dying miles and miles away from me. I did this to the person I love! I failed the person I love!

I had known it all along and pretended like I didn't like an ignorant child. I had never been in love before so I didn't even know how to understand what it meant to feel that way. I had never felt this way about anyone so I treated it as if it was nothing. I had lived my life vowing to never fall in love and this man had to come into it and break down every single barrier that I had placed. It was beyond cruel that I had to realize it now as I'm on the verge of losing him forever. I should have never listened to Strider. I should have never left Mirkwood. I should have listened to my sister.

She had been right all along. I should have never met this man.

I was never going to hear the end of this from my sister.

I gasped out in pain, falling to my knees.

I could feel it. I clutched my heart. I could feel his heart begin to stop. I could feel the heartbeat begin to slow down. The last bit of warmth of his heart was now freezing over. The piece of the blade had reached his heart.

This was it.

He was gone.

I began crying again in the devastation, from the despair of it all. I couldn't breathe. It was like I was suffocating with him. Dying with him. I was losing him. He was dying and I wasn't even there to hold him or do anything. Instead, I'm here alone without him. My beloved was dying miles and miles away from me.

Frodo. Please. Please don't give into them. Don't leave me. You can't give in.

I could feel him fade away.

The tears began to fall before I could even register that I was crying. The despair overtook my entire body. It felt like I was dying with him. Honestly, if he was dead, there was no point in continuing on. I didn't even feel Sam's hand on my shoulder or anything else. Just the extreme sadness pouring throughout me. Frodo was gone. Nothing else mattered except the fact that he was gone.

"Lady Neera!" Sam cried out, his hand on my shoulder. "What is it? Do you see Mr. Frodo?"

But I couldn't even answer him.

"What's the matter with her, Sam?" Pippin asked.

"It must be because of Frodo, Pip," Merry said.

I oftentimes in my life never understood why the descendants that came before me killed themselves after their destined had died. I never thought it was possible for someone to love another person so much that they couldn't continue living. If Father could do it, they should have been able to do it as well. But upon the feeling of Frodo fading away, I began to understand it. This is how Father feels every day when he wakes up. This is how he lives his life hundreds of years after Mother's death. It is agonizing. I knew once Frodo leaves this world I would be right behind him. I know it's exactly what the Ring and Sauron want, but...

This is the end, then?

No. No, this can't be the end. You're not leaving me. You can't. I won't let you. People need you.

I need you.

I pulled out an arrow of light and clutched it in both of my hands. The light of the arrow began to glow brightly. I felt the light begin to envelop all around my body. The light of Shasta's love for Isildur always burned brightly every time I shot an arrow from my bow. It seemed to glow brighter as a result of being with Frodo. I now realize that my love for him had made the light inside the arrow and myself burn brightly. There was a strength within our bond. Within this love that I have for him. Love is light. The power of the arrow of light is meant to dispel any form of darkness and evil. The power of the arrow is Shasta's love. If that's true, my love can be enough to power the arrow. It can overcome any darkness. It can overcome the darkness within Frodo's body. I hoped that the light would reach him and Lady Arwen to give them strength to fight back against this.

"Lady Neera," Sam said in amazement.

"What is she doing?" Pippin asked.

"She's calling forth the spirits of light," Strider explained. "She's trying to save Frodo from here."

"Really?" Pippin exclaimed. "She could save Frodo then?"

"Don't distract her, Pippin," Merry said seriously.

I closed my eyes. They were full of tears, but I ignored them again.

I don't know if anyone out there can hear me, but please, don't let him die. Let the light of Lady Shasta's and my love be enough to expel the darkness for Frodo to hold on just a little longer.

I clutched the arrow tighter in my hands as the light grew stronger. It enveloped me. I sent all of my power into the arrow causing it to be more powerful and bright. It was painful to use this much power, but I had to do it. I had to save Frodo.

What Shasta has given us, let it be given to him, as well. Let him be spared from the darkness. Let him continue living. Don't let him die because of my mistakes. Don't punish him because of me. He deserves so much more than this. He deserves to live.

Please save him.

I could feel the light from the arrow pierce up into the sky. The light surrounded the area starting from around where I was kneeling until it shot straight up into the sky. Somehow with this prayer, the dark clouds that covered the sky seemed to fade away. I just kept my eyes shut and continued to shoot the light energy from my body out into the sky of Middle Earth. I hoped it would be enough. This might kill me, but... I hoped that Frodo would see this light and find the strength to keep holding on for just a while longer.

If he were to live on instead of me, that would be enough.

Please, my love. My life. Please, Frodo. My darling. Please don't leave me.

And with these words, the light surrounding me was gone and shot up into the heavens. I felt a wave of exhaustion fall over me. I had used too much power. All I remember after that was collapsing to the ground on my side, the arrow of light turning to dust in my hand. I was caught in someone's arms. Before darkness took me, I remember looking up and seeing the sky painfully bright. Light banishing all shadows away with my one wish. The light that had started with me had spread throughout the area and beyond. It was a bittersweet thing to see.

I smiled sadly at the sight. Remembering the light of Grandfather's fireworks as Frodo and I danced together for the first time at Bilbo's party.

If only I had realized how I felt back then.

Everything then went black, Strider and my three remaining companions all calling out my name trying to get me to stay awake.

"Lady Neera!"

Sam's words of worry were the last words I had heard. I remember smiling as I faded away.

If that's the last thing I ever see, that would be alright. As long as he survived, I could die peacefully.

And somehow, by the time I awoke we all reached Rivendell.

That's it! I hope you enjoyed it!

Yes. She finally admits what she has been denying this whole time. Took her long enough really.

PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I appreciate all the favorites and such, but I really would love to know how I am doing with the story and the writing and all that jazz. Constructive criticism only and no flames! PLEASE REVIEW!

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Until next time!

Kagomehater4ever