Chapter 2: My December

"Pass me that blunt, Junebug." Jay and June were hotboxing in June's truck in the ravine. They liked to hangout there and get stoned, drunk, and generally fail in the way their parents did. Sometimes having a truck came in handy.

June stretched her arms and played with Jay's hair. They had fallen into a comfortable platonic skinship. Like wolf cubs or chimpanzees. June had learned more about Jay's reputation in school over the past month, and was well aware that she was receiving an extremely unique Jason Hogart experience. She didn't know why Jay was so vulnerable around her, why the guard he put up for everyone else fell down fast as soon as she entered the picture. They just had this silent understanding. Maybe it was because they matched each other in both stubbornness and depravity to a point that no one else could put up with. Maybe it was because they were both neglected teenagers with a penchant for petty theft. Regardless, they would have no problem identifying the other as their best friend.

"Soo my dad's on one of his benders again, and my apartment lost heat." June rolled her eyes. Then did sarcastic jazz hands. "Just in time for Christmas!"

"Hey at least you have a place, I've been crashing random places for like the past year. Mostly Lexi's, but she's been, ya know…" He gestured with his hands in a rolling motion.

June did know. Alex had been pulling away from Jay for the past month or so. Not the group, just her physical relationship with Jay. June couldn't imagine why, she thought Jay was pretty handsome.

"Jay, why don't you stay with me? It's gonna be cold as fuck but at least it's a roof, and then if one of us dies from hypothermia the other can call 911." She joked.

"I can't complain, it sounds like a plan." Jay didn't need to be asked twice. He would never admit it, but spending the holidays alone was too depressing, even for him.

"You could come tonight," said June, "If you want to. You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep in my dad's room."

"Or better yet, join me in the same bed for a night you won't forget." Jay joked, but it made June flush just slightly. "You wish, Hogart" she nudged him away with her elbow. "But come around whenever. I'll be there. And you can bring a six-pack as payment."

"Will do, Junebug."

June knew it was Jay by the whistling out on the front stoop. She unlocked the door and ushered him in. "Might as well keep your coat on, it's freezing in here."

"Did Daddy-o forget to pay the gas bill?" Jay joked as he threw his keys and the six pack on the kitchen counter.

"Surprisingly no, it's the damn city. Apparently they don't want high crime rates so close to the city center, so they're planning to tear down a bunch of the older welfare housing blocks and build 'business parks' and 'community centers.' They hit a main line and now we're without heat waiting for a check from the city to reimburse rent."

"And Daddy-o decided it wasn't worth sticking around for and got outta dodge?" Jay got two cans of beer and opened both.

"Exactly. He's probably in Niagara Falls getting high as we speak."

"Well who says we can't have just as much fun here in the 6?" Jay threw his arm around June and handed her a beer. "Your liquid jacket, ma'am. Be careful, it's designer." June giggled as she took a big swig. She loved the taste of beer. If she had dreams, maybe one of them would be to work at a brewery. But she learned a long time ago that dreams are for people who have their needs met, for middle class kids with a dog and a picket fence. She was lucky if she could finish the year still in this mortal realm.

Jay jumped onto the couch. "So if the power still works that means we can watch TV right?" June nodded as Jay began to channel surf. He eventually landed on reruns of Clone High, and the two sat together snuggled up on the couch with their coats and hats on, under just about every blanket June could find in the apartment.

Jay woke up in the middle of the night with the strong urge to piss. He gently wiggled his way out from underneath June's bundled up form and tried to find the bathroom.

Opening up doors he found June's room, which despite the beige welfare paint job, she managed to make look semi-decent. She had a purple and blue plaid comforter that was the centerpiece, and posters from various rap album inserts and magazine cutouts.

Jay didn't want to spend too long staring, so he quietly closed the door and trudged onward. Luckily, the next door on the left was the bathroom. Jay quickly unbuckled his jeans and sighed in relief as he stood in front of the toilet. As he looked around he saw all the normal bathroom things. Razor, hairbrush, toothpaste without a cap, the usual. It wasn't until he went to wash his hands that he noticed the large crack on the mirror. What the hell? He didn't want to pry, he did not need to be playing detective so late at night, so he hurried back into the living room and retreated into the blanket pile on the couch. The TV was playing reruns of some random sitcom he didn't know, so he turned it off.

He looked around the room hoping to find something interesting to stare at but it was futile. June's apartment looked like any other welfare housing living room, with the same fake leather couch, dinged up kitchen table, and bolted down coat rack. So he turned his gaze to June, whose face was illuminated ever so slightly by the street lamp glow that slipped through the cheap plastic blinds. She didn't look like Alex. Alex was so hot and fit that she could be a model if she wasn't so averse to smiling or following orders. Her angular features and cat-like eyes only added to her ice queen look. June was softer. She had cheeks that stuck out when she smiled and her nose was flatter. Her eyes were always so bright, Jay figured it must be the shape or something. Her hair was wild and wavy, and the purple he saw when they met was now almost faded, revealing her dirty blonde hair underneath.

"Jay I know you're staring," June opened one eye and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Fuck me, June. How long have you been awake?"

"Since you got up to go pee. Nice stream by the way, mind aiming at the bowl next time so I don't hear from the living room?" Jay playfully punched her in the arm.

"Nah, next time I'll make you watch."

It was a freezing cold Canadian December morning as the teens made their way to their cars.

"Isn't this a waste of gas if we're literally staying together?" Commented Jay as June hopped into her truck. It was the last day of school before Christmas break, and once again they were taking separate cars.

"No. It's been two weeks now since my dad's left, who knows how much trouble he's in. I'm not gonna leave the truck here for him to steal. Everything else he can take, just not the truck! Besides-" June hanged out of the driver's side to face Jay, resting her foot on the side rail, "If you really cared so much about the environment, why not ride with me?" June asked playfully, she already knew the answer. Jay loved driving and hated being a passenger, he got carsick anytime he wasn't in the driver's seat.

"I'll be a passenger when they drive my dead body to the morgue!" He shouted back before getting into his car.

"Good morning Degrassi students. As a reminder, today is the final day to submit work for the first semester. No late work will be taken after winter break. Students, good luck on your finals, and don't leave anything valuable in your lockers over the break!"

June popped a piece of gum in her mouth and slammed her locker only to be face to face with Alex. "Hey Alex, what's up?"

Alex leaned in and whispered. "I need to talk to you today, alone. And you can't tell Jay." June nodded. Her throat was running hot from the artificial gum flavor mixing with her dehydrated mouth.

"Okay, when?" She croaked out, turning her head to cough into her sleeve.

"Can you skip third period?"

"Ooh, well that's one of my remedial classes. I can bail after I finish the final though. It's just math, I'm good at math."

"Fair enough. I'll meet you in the parking lot then." Alex walked away quickly, her discman headphones she kept around her neck bouncing against her collarbone as she did. June put her own, lesser, walkman headphones on and popped in the Jay-Z album she stole last month.

Time to bullshit my way into a D in remedial English. She sighed. English was her worst subject. She wasn't dyslexic or anything, she just hated having to 'dig deep' into subtext. It was a waste of time in her opinion. She never liked reading, she was more of the social type. On her way to class she passed the gym, where they were setting up for the multicultural winter festival. June rolled her eyes. At the schools where she went? Anything tagged as 'multicultural' was just another anti gang violence assembly.

In her rush to get to class June wasn't paying attention when she ran into a strawberry-scented blonde bombshell.

"Um, excuse you!" The blonde girl smoothed her shirt out and fixed her hair before looking up at June. "How about you look both ways before you-"

"Paige?" June blurted out in surprise. It was Paige Michalchuck, Dylan's little sister.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," Paige said with a flip of her hair.

"Paige it's me, June Lovich, from after school dytyachy? We went to the same bilingual daycare? I was the year between you and your brother."

"With Miss Yulia?" Paige asked. June nodded.

"It was so long ago, I stopped going in grade three so you probably don't remember me, but I remember you and your brother. Does he go here?"

"No hon I remember you! Your mom always made varenyky. How's she doing, by the way?"

June faltered, she wasn't used to having to lie about her mom. Most people she knew came from equally tragic upbringings so it wasn't a vulnerable thing to talk about. "She's doing alright."

"Well, are you participating in the multicultural festival?" Paige nodded towards the gym. The students inside were scurrying around with decorations and chairs, setting up in time for the night's event.

"That? Oh hell no. I'm more of a sit in the back and throw popcorn type, not a clog around on stage type."

Paige giggled at June's joke. "Me neither. My father would die if heard me attempt a Christmas hymn in Ukrainian. My pronunciation? It's terrible." June smiled. It was nice to have a conversation with somebody who didn't know about June's past.

"Junebug! Whatcha doing with Homochuk's sister?" Jay, seemingly out of nowhere, entered the hallway with his arms out wide, coming up behind June and putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Ew, you let that thing touch you?" Shreiked Paige. June felt her face heat up. Jay was her friend, but she felt kind of embarrassed of him at that moment. She just wanted to get away from the situation. Luckily, the tardy bell rang and she was free.

"Gotta get to class, pizniche, Paige." June smacked Jay's hands off her and speed walked to class, an angry pep in her step. Jay looked confused, and followed her.

"Wait, June! Come on, what's the big deal?"

June kept walking, not slowing down for anybody. "What's the big deal, Jay, is that I was having a pleasant conversation with someone who I used to know, and it's not your place to barge in and make fun!" Jay ran in front of her and tried to block her. June sighed, slowing down and crossing her arms. She decided to at least hear him out.

"Look, I don't know why you would even wanna talk to 'Princess Paige' anyways. There's people like us and people like her, and we don't mix."

"She didn't know I was 'people like us' until you told her, Jay! There's keeping it real and then there's walking around with a flashing loser sign on your head. Which one are you, huh?" She tilted her head and glared at him.

That stung. Jay tried to let it roll over him but hearing that coming from June hurt. "Whatever man!" He said and walked off in the opposite direction. He would fail English again if it meant that he didn't have to face June. He walked out to his car and got a pack of camels from his jacket pocket. As he tapped the box, a useless habit that he picked up from a guy at a party once, he tried not to contemplate what just happened. So what if he was a loser? He didn't care what boring, stuck up kids cared about him. But he did care what June thought of him, and that's what scared him. Jay exhaled a cloud of smoke into the freezing air. Fuck. I'm absolutely fucked.

Jane's math final went smoothly. Armstrong's class wasn't hard if you paid attention, and she knew she got at least a C, even with all her skipping. She and Alex sat in the cabin of June's truck with the heat on. It was too cold to hang out on the truck bed. "Alex, hey. What was it you needed to talk about?"

"I need to tell you something and you need to promise not to react, okay?" Alex rubbed her hands together nervously as she made eye contact with June.

"I promise." June was sincere.

"I'm going to break up with Jay."

"What? Why?" June's jaw dropped. Alex gave her a look. "Sorry."

"It's just, I don't even know if I want to be with anyone right now, especially him." June was still angry about earlier, so she understood. But at the same time she had noticed Alex getting less physical with Jay and hanging out by herself more.

"That's fair. When do you think you're going to do it?"

"Would it be too evil of me to dump him before winter break?" June nodded yes, but she had a feeling Alex's mind was already made up.

And it was.

Jay didn't take the news well from Alex, and even though June was mad at him for what he did in the hallway earlier, she still cared about the guy. He never came home from school, so she decided to drive around and look for him. She had tried every corner store, liquor store, even the Dot. She finally decided to check the ravine. Luckily his car was parked outside the woods, so she knew he was somewhere in the general vicinity.

"Jay!" She yelled. There was a pretty sizable crowd at the ravine, "Jay!"

"Hey baby, I like those jeans. They'll look even better around your legs." A random dude came onto her with a half empty bottle of vodka in his hand.

"Gimme that," she said, snatching the bottle and taking a swig. She then shoved him away. "And fuck off!" She continued to search for her friend. "Jay!"

"June?" She heard his voice from behind one of the broken down vans.

"Jay!" She ran over and knelt in front of him. He was sitting down on the snowy ground, his back propped up against the aluminum. "What did you do, you idiot?" She checked him for injuries. He looked strung out.

"Lexi dumped me,"

"I know, Jay. I'm sorry-"

"But that doesn't even hurt as much as you being mad at me."

June's eyes widened in shock. "What? Jay I don't hate you or anything. I was just mad."

"June, I don't care about a lot of things, but I care about you, okay? Fuck." He put his face in his hands. "I really care?" He was trying to imply that he liked her, but was too stubborn to do it outright. June immediately understood, but knew that now was not the time.

"Okay Jay, let's go home." She helped him up and walked him to her truck, using all of her strength to get him into the passenger seat. The drive back was silent.

When they got back to her apartment, Jay was pretty much knocked out. June would have to ask what he took in the morning. She tucked him into her bed and made her way to the kitchen. She liked Jay back. She always thought he was cute. But the same day he got dumped by her closest girl friend at Degrassi? She couldn't swoop in this early, at least publicly. Alex wouldn't care, she knew. But the rest of their group? The rest of the school? The last thing June needed was the reputation of a boyfriend stealer. June got a can of soda and some chips and flopped down in front of the TV to try to drown out her own thoughts. Once it began to get late, June decided it was time to go to bed. She turned off the lights and was about to make her way to her dad's room when she heard the deadbolt on the front door unlock.

Shit.

Her dad burst in, looking like he got hit by a truck. She wished she could hit him with her truck. "Junie! Daddy's home!" He shouted, shaking his coat off and hesitating to unzip it. "Why is it so fucking cold in here?"

"Because the city broke the gas line while demolishing a building, remember?" June reminded him.

"Oh yeah that shit. Using my hard earned tax dollars and we don't even get heat for the holidays!"

"You don't pay taxes, dad. You're on welfare." He stumbled his way to the kitchen for a beer.

"What did you say to me?"

"I said," June couldn't help but raise her voice, "that you don't pay taxes, you bum!"

"You watch your mouth little bitch." Her dad stopped in his tracks to face her.

"No dad, you watch your mouth before you talk to me that way. I don't have to put up with your shit-" Before she could finish her sentence, he barrelled towards her and pinned her against the wall with his forearm, causing everything on the shelves to shake, including her mother's urn, which fell on the ground with a resounding shatter. June cringed as the ashes covered her feet.

"Listen here, Junie. I'm bigger than you, I'm stronger than you, and I brought you into this world. I sure as hell have no problems taking you out of it, so watch your mouth around me." He took his free hand and slapped her across the face.

"Hey, what's with all the noise," Jay walked out rubbing his head and yawning. As soon as he looked up, though, his face immediately hardened and he glared at the older man. June pleaded with her eyes for Jay to get out as she struggled to get out of her dad's pin.

"Hello Mr. Lovich, shame we had to meet this way." Jay ran across the apartment towards June and her dad, connecting his fist with her father's jaw. June watched in awe as her dad crumpled to the ground.

"You're gonna have to teach me that sometime," she joked. Jay smiled faintly before realizing the situation they were in.

"June, he's gonna wake up in about a minute. We need to get the fuck outta here. Grab your phone and keys and go." June nodded and scrambled to throw on her winter boots. Luckily she was wearing a hat and coat since it was so cold inside. Jay tossed June her keys and she grabbed her phone and charger from her bedroom. The teens ran to her truck and sped off into the night.

"Fuck, Jay! Where are we even supposed to go? We can't both be runaways!" June cried, gripping the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles would be white if she wasn't wearing gloves.

Jay scrolled through the contacts on his Nokia.

"What about Alex?" Asked June.

"No way, Jose. The same day she dumped me?"

"Well we have to call someone! Go somewhere!"" June screamed.

Jay tried to remain calm. "I'll call Sean. He can't turn us down."

Jane didn't think she could be more embarrassed as she stood in Sean's doorway while Jay explained the situation to Sean's older brother and guardian, Tracker.

"Here are blankets. Bathroom is on the right. Can you both share the living room? Just for tonight? It's a pull-out couch."

"Yeah sure." Said Jay, taking the blankets from Tracker, Sean's older brother. June was starting to feel her adrenaline crash, her face was throbbing and her hands were shaking. "I'll go make the bed."

"June, can you come to the kitchen with me?" Asked Tracker. June just silently followed the young adult. He pulled out a chair for her at the table and she sat down, looking straight ahead. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him get rubbing alcohol and some cotton balls.

"I know how to take care of myself," She said.

"I'm sure you do, this is just a precaution, alright? Your lip is bleeding." June didn't even realize.

Her dad had beaten her before. Everytime he came back from one of his benders. If he wasn't neglecting her, he was yelling, throwing things, and hitting her. Only tonight had been the first time that she ran away. All the past times she fought back of course, but she stayed. She kept coming back like a hurt puppy. Maybe it was pathetic to other people, but for her it was stability.

Tracker cleaned up her lip and the stinging from the alcohol brought her back down to earth. Slowly she started to look around the Cameron household. It was obvious that two males were the only inhabitants, with Penthouse covers being displayed on the fridge next to Sean's schoolwork. But it was full of love, something that June hadn't had in her home for a long time.

Jay was done setting up the bed. "I'll let you two get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow. Lights on or off?"

"Off is okay," said June as she made her way to the bed. Tracker turned the lights off and there was June and Jay, sitting on a couch, illuminated by the glow of a streetlamp through cheap plastic blinds, yet again.

Except this time, June was angry. "How could you do that to me!" She whisper-yelled.

Jay wasn't having any of it. "Me? In case you're forgetting I saved you. Who knows what he was gonna do to you?"

"I knew, Jay. I knew because it's happened before and I'm fine every time. Now I'm still fine except we don't have to live!" Her hands were shaking in frustration.

"You're fine? Look what it's done to you, June!" He held her hand in front of her face, it was still shaking. "I bet that crack on the bathroom mirror was him too, huh?"

June looked confused at his statement because he was. She didn't remember the bathroom incident because it got mixed up with all the other shit her dad pulled, filed in her brain under 'Do Not Think About Unless You Have To.' Once June realized, she looked down in shame.

Jay could read her body language like a book. "See, you don't even remember all the times he's beat the shit out of you! You're lucky we ran, whether you realize it or not. You don't have to thank me." Jay's face softened slightly, "You still have your coat and hat on. There's heat in here you know?"

June rolled her eyes. In the chaos, she forgot to take them off.

"And your boots? Oh Junebug." He joked. June blushed.

"If you care so much, take them off for me." She said.

"Nah, you got it," teased Jay. June turned her head and pouted at him. "Well when you put it like that…" Jay kneeled in front of her and started untying her boots and she giggled. Until she saw her mom's ashes on her feet. She had almost forgotten that happened, her dad knocking over her mom's urn.

"Shit, what am I supposed to do with these socks? Do I need to report them to some sort of agency for dead bodies?" Said Jay, leaning away from June's feet.

"No, there's no agency for that, we just need to wash them like normal. It's not like it's a lot. It looks like dirt, really."

"Isn't it special though, your mom's ashes?" Asked Jay.

June laughed quietly. "No. She left me with him. Didn't die until after she left. As far as I'm concerned she was dead before we got the ashes delivered."

Jay quietly nodded in understanding. He finished taking her boots off and she took off her coat and hat by herself, her faded purple hair falling in tendrils down her back. Luckily she was already in pajamas, since she was about to go to bed when they ran away. She got under the covers and wiggled her way into Jay's arms like a cat. He rolled halfway on top of her and immediately began snoring. She counted backwards from 100 and drifted off somewhere around 43.