The Story begins with the camera showing the exterior of the Mystery Shack.]
Narrator: Ah, the Mystery Shack. Home of the Mystery, and weirdness in Gravity Falls with its top secret , [cut to inside the Mystery Shack] known only to those brave enough and intelligent enough to comprehend its culinary complexity. [Mabel is balancing a Stan Bobbleheads on her nose behind the register]
Mabel: Look, Grunkle Stan. I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
Stan: Quit foolin' around, Mabel, we got customers.
Narrator: But wherever there's a secret deed of the Mystery Shack, there is someone who wants to steal it. [Gideon laughs evilly while standing in the head of a Man Robot. The head falls down]
Gideon: Oof, ouch! [his Man Robot's arm turns into a mirror] And now for the final touch. [puts on a mustache] Perfect! With this disguise, that deed is as good as mine. [laughs then stops and clears his throat and his mirror turns back into his robot's arm as he wheels himself into the shack]
Man Robot: Are you Mabel Pines? [Mabel looks at her reflection in the mirror]
Mabel: Why, yes. Yes I am.
Man Robot: [holds up a big check] Then you've just won one million dollars! [Mabel gasps]
Man Robot: You just have to answer one question. Where is the cord of your Grunkle Stan safe?
Mabel: [inhales]
Man Robot: Yes?
Mabel: [inhales again]
Man Robot: Yes?
Mabel: [inhales yet again]
Man Robot: Yes?!
Mabel: [speaking rapidly fast, like narrating a commercial] The Deed is the sole property of the Mystery Shack and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with its creator, Stanford Pines. Duplication of this deed is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary. [Sudden silence. The Man Robot smiles, then the mustache falls off the robot, shakes, then Gideon crashes through the teeth]
Gideon: [growls] That's it!? [Grabs on Mabel's sweater and holds her eyelids]You'd better cough up that deed or else!
Stan: Gideon!
Gideon: [looks at Stan] Stanford!
Stan: Gideon!
Gideon: Stanford!
Mabel: Mabel. [Stan grabs Gideon]
Gideon: You can't do this to me, Stanford! [Stan Kicks Gideon back to the Tent of Telepathy] I went to school! [crashes into his tent] Ouch.
Stan: That Gideon is a clever beast. You've got to keep a sharp eye out for him, Mabel. The Deed law must be enforced. The future of the Mystery Shack depends on it.
Mabel: Don't worry, Grunkle Stan, as long as these Sweater are made, [grabs herself ]and this Ma is Bel, [lifts her arms up] I will not let you down!
Stan: Uh, Pumpkin? [the camera zooms out to reveal Mabel holding Stan above her head] Could you let me down please? [cut to later, at the Mystery Shack]
Man: Man, these mechanics are so expensive.I wonder what's in the secret of this shirt. [The siren goes off. Mabel slides down the pole from the crow's nest]
Mabel: Code twelve, code twelve! [bounces off a trampoline and grabs the customer's head] Your disguises can't fool us this time, Gideon! [pulls the head off to reveal a smaller head on the customer; everyone gasps]
Man: Everyone at the head enhancement clinic said nobody would notice! [runs off crying]
Stan: Mabel! You're scarin' away my money!
Mabel: Sorry, Grunkle Stan, I'm just trying to protect the deed.
Stan: That's no reason to rip people's heads off, Mabel. Just remember the most important rule.
Mabel: No free napkins?
Stan: No! The other most important rule. Regardin' the deed of the Mystery Shack.
Mabel: Only discuss the secret recipe with Grunkle Stan.
Stan: As long as you do that, the secret is safe.
Wendy: I always thought the most important rule was "why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?" [laughs]
Stan: What is today, but yesterday's tomorrow?
Wendy: Huh? [Cut to Stan and Wendy in a storage room]
Stan: Today, I want you to take inventory on everything in here.
Wendy: Yes sir. [Stan leaves. When Wendy walks over to the stock, glowing eyes appear; Wendy writes something on a notepad]
Wendy: Two boxes of shirt. Three pounds of Stan Bobbleheads. [A poorly-constructed robot made to look like Stan approaches Wendy.]
Robot Stan: [mechanical voice] Wendy...
Wendy: What now, Stan?
Robot Stan: That's right, I am Stan. [cut to inside the robot to show that it's being controlled by Gideon.] Gideon: Your boss, your ruler, your master! [laughs evilly]
Robot Stan: Ha, ha, ha. [exhaust smoke spurts out]
Wendy: [not fooled] You're not Mr. Pines.
Robot Stan: Hey, why don't you take the rest of the day off?
Wendy: [chuckles and runs to the door] Wa ha ha... whatever you say, "Mr. Pines." [laughs] Whoopee! [runs out as Mabel walks in]
Mabel: Hi, Grunkle Stan.
Gideon: Oh, sweet domination. This is it!
Mabel: No sign of Gideon, yet. Gosh, Grunkle Stan. You don't look so good. [touches his body] Ooh, you're so cold. [knocks on his pants]
Robot Stan: That's just my metal suit. I made it to protect the deed.
Stan: Mabel! Mabel! [second "Mabel!" echoes]
Gideon: It's that thick-headed Stanford. He'll ruin everything.
Robot Stan: Look, a fairy. [points in another direction] [Mabel takes out her net and runs around]
Mabel: I got it, I got it. [Gideon presses the "Abort" button. When he does, Robot Stan transforms into a toaster.]
Mabel: I got it, I got it. [Stan enters the storage room]
Stan: Mabel! [Mabel stops and looks at the toaster, which releases its toast, then looks at Stan]
Mabel: [knocks on Stan' pants] Hey, Grunkle Stan, what happened to your metal pants?
Stan: Don't go all loopy on me, kid. I need your help. Where in the heck is Wendy?
Mabel: You gave him the day off.
Stan: [pupils shrink] Day... [bellows] ...off?! [makes steam come out of the chimney] I don't know the meanin' of them horrible words! [Mabel falls down]Now quit your layin' around, Mabel, and take out that garbage! It's startin' to give me a rash. [exits]
Mabel: Yes, sir, Grunkle Stan, sir! [puts a clothespin on her nose and is going to take the trash out, but Robot Stan stops her] Hey, Grunkle Stan, just takin' out that garbage.
Robot Stan: Never mind that. I need to talk to you. [takes the trash bag and vaporizes it with his laser eyes]
Mabel: Whoa-ho, Grunkle Stan. I didn't know you had heat vision.
Robot Stan: Never mind. I need you to tell me...
Stan: Mabel!
Robot Stan: Yoicks! [runs off]
Stan: Mabel! I'm not payin' you to stand around. Get back to the gift shop!
Mabel: But I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
Stan: Yes... why aren't you workin' harder?
Mabel: [slowly and confused] I don't know, Grunkle Stan... I don't know. [both walk out]
Gideon: I'll never get that deed with that pest Stanford popping in and out like that. I've got it! I've been saving this for a rainy day. [holds up a penny] It looks like an ordinary penny... because it is an ordinary penny! That fool Stanford is too greedy to ignore you, my little pretty. [laughs evilly. The penny pops out of the nose and rolls around into Stan' office]
Stan: That sound, it sounds like... the pitter-patter of... [sees the penny] money! [squeals] Hey, where you goin', beautiful? [Dipper knocks on Stan' door]
Dipper: Grunkle Stan... [the penny slides out of the office] Wha... [Stan busts down the door on top of Dipper]
Stan: Stop! Please! [the penny slides between the crack of the doors and rolls away with Stan running after it] Wait! [Robot Stan is hiding behind the pole, then peeks out to see that Stan is out of the Mystery Shack.]
Robot Stan: Nothing stands between me and that deed now. [As he laughs evilly, the letter h sign of the Mystery Shack falls on top of him]Ouch! [Cut to Mabel, who is scrubbing the floor]
Mabel: Scrub-a-dub-dub, I love to rub. [Robot Stan rolls by] Hey, Grunkle Stan, just doin' a little scrubbin'.
Robot Stan: Hello, Mabel, it is me, your Grunkle Stan. [exhaust pipe smokes] In the flesh. [exhaust pipe smokes again] Standing right in front of you. [pipe smokes again]With no one else around.
Mabel: I can see that, Grunkle Stan.
Robot Stan: I thought we might discuss the Deed of the Mystery Shack. [a microphone comes out of Robot Stan]
Mabel: Isn't that a microphone?
Robot Stan: What? Why, yes it is. [puts the microphone back inside his body] I must get this shirt cleaned. Alright, now tell me the deed.
Mabel: But, Grunkle Stan, we haven't done the secret handshake yet.
Robot Stan: Oh yes. Here, let's shake.
Mabel: [laughs] We don't shake with our hands, remember?
Robot Stan: Uh, right, why don't you start?
Mabel: We stand on one foot. [they do] Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads and sing the Gravity Falls National Anthem. [they do]
Mabel and Robot Stan: Oh, Gravity Falls, we pledge our hearts to you, as faithful, as deep, as true, as blue, Gravity Falls, we love you!
Robot Stan: Deed time?
Mabel: Almost.
Narrator: Six and a half hours later... [Gideon grunts frantically, adjusting controls in his control room, as he gets Robot Stan into a cannon which spits him out, through a flame ring, and onto a chair at a table, which has a plate of spaghetti on top. He opens up the robot's belt buckle and dumps the spaghetti in there]
Robot Stan: Yum, yum, this spaghetti sure is good. Belch!
Mabel and Robot Stan: Meatball. Meatball. Spaghetti underneath. Ravioli. Ravioli. Great Barrier Reef. [clap]
Robot Stan: Okay, now let's hear that deed.
Mabel: Sorry, [takes off her chef mustache] no can do, Grunkle Stan. [Robot Stan' eyes are now on fire]
Robot Stan: Whaaaaaaaaaat?!
Gideon: [exploding in rage] But we did everything you said- I followed all the rules! I even ate 105 black licorice jellybeans through a straw! [holds up a straw]
Robot Stan: Now why can't you tell me the deed of the mystery shack?
Mabel: It's your rule. Never speak the deed. You told me to keep it in... [holds up a bottle with a piece of paper in it] ...this bottle. [Robot Stan opens its eyes. A ding sound is produced]
Gideon: [overly excited and tense] This is it, Gideon. [starts pushing on a lever]Gently, now... [Gideon continues to push on the lever that makes Robot Stan' arm stretch out more. Gideon gets increasingly excited as he stretches out the arm further and further, laughing excitingly and sweating continuously. The penny from before rolls through the door and Stan comes in. Everyone in the gift shop gasps, including the guy on the penny]
Stan: [gasps]
Mabel: [gasps]
Guy on the Penny: [gasps]
Robot Stan: Gasp!
Stan: How could you do this, Mabel? Givin' my deed to this... impostor?!
Robot Stan: Don't listen to him, Mabel. Remember: Ravioli, ravioli, give me the deed.
Stan: Mabel, no! Don't listen to him. I'm the real Grunkle Stan trust me.
Robot Stan: [runs towards Stan] Don't listen to him. He's obviously a robot. [exhaust pipe smokes]
Stan: Well, if I was a robot, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together. Not some rusted-out, steam-driven pile of junk!
Robot Stan: Who are you callin' steam-driven...?
Mabel: [unable to handle the pressure, explodes in frustration] Quiet![Mabel is holding a giant hose in her hands and her eyes bloodshot] Until I know who the real Grunkle Stan is, nobody moves, [it is soon revealed that the hose is attached and bubbled to a large tartar sauce machine] nobody gets hurt.
Stan and Robot Stan: Tartar sauce?!
Stan: Take it easy with that thing, sweetie. [Mabel squirts some tartar sauce at Stan causing him to jump into Robot Stan' arms]
Mabel: I'll do the talkin' around here. I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Grunkle Stan could answer.
Stan: Okay, then.
Mabel: First question: What time does the Mystey Shack open?
Robot Stan: [beats Stan to it] 9:30 A.M.
Mabel: Right. [to Stan] That's one strike, Grunkle Fake.
Stan: But...
Mabel: Nuh-uh-uh! I'm runnin' this quiz show, I'll ask the questions. If there's gonna be any "buts", they're gonna be from me. [walks forward, while rubbing the hose nozzle] Okay, question number two: How much does a T-shirt cost?
Stan: $2.99!
Mabel: ...On Wednesday?
Robot Stan: 99¢!
Mabel: Right again! [to Stan] You're startin' to look pretty phony right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. [walks forward] Now only the really real Grunkle Stan could answer this — If we're discussing the deed of the mystery shack on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?
Stan: That's an easy one. You just... just... let's see... if it's... uh... if it's January... with... with vanilla pudding... you... uh... Pass? [Stan is shot out of the Mystery Shack with tartar sauce into a fry basket] Wait, Mabel! Give me another chance! [Rolls away in the basket] No!
Mabel: So long, Imitation Stan! Buh-bye! [walks back inside] I knew it was you all along, Grunkle Stan, here you go. [holds up the formula bottle]
Robot Stan: Thank you, Mabel. [grabs the bottle and laughs mechanically. Mabel sees the penny on the ground]
Mabel: Oop! [grabs the penny from the ground] Don't forget your lucky penny. [puts the penny inside a slot on Robot Stan that is labeled "Self-Destruct: 1 cent"]
Robot Stan: Yoicks.
Mabel: This must be your lucky day. [laughs] [cut to inside the control room of Robot Stan where an alarm is going off]
Bud: Self-destruct coin slot has been activated. Ten seconds till detonation.
Gideon: Coin-operated self-destruct... Not one of my better ideas. Heeeelp! [screams as he takes the deed and wheels back to the Tent of Telepathy, but explodes when he gets inside and it's too late. The giant star thuds on top of him]Ouch! [the deed bottle rolls back to Mabel]
Mabel: [picks up the deed, realizing her mistake] If that was Gideon... Uh-oh!
Stan: [off-screen] Help! Get away! No!
Mabel: [gasps] Grunkle Stan! [Stan, still in the fry basket, is holding a fry against Old Man McGucket. McGucket holds a fork and tries to prod it at Stan. Stan tries to fight off McGucket by swiping the fry to deflect the fork. Mabel runs to Stan.]
Old Man McGucket: Ooh... yum, yum! [attempts to prod his fork at Stan continuously]
Stan: [swiping the fry as he speaks] Back, you hungry Hillbilly, back! Help! [Mabel spay Old Man McGucket with a spay bottle. then Mabel wheels Stan back to the Mystery Shack safely. McGucket tries to follow Stan, but fails.]
Mabel: Gee, Grunkle Stan. I'm sorry. I thought you were a phony.
Stan: Phew, that's okay, me kid. Long as the deed safe again. [takes the bottle] However, that penny's comin' out of your allowance. [both laughing] [The scene cuts to the sky view exterior of the Mystery Shack.]
Mabel: Really?