The silence was overwhelming. Jaehee drummed his fingers against the desk, unable to concentrate on the task at hand. He figured he had re-read the same sentence about fifteen times, but the words refused to stick in his brain. It was a futile effort, studying when he was mentally miles away. At first he thought it might serve as a welcome distraction, the dry, tedious details of art history were certain to dull his mind into submission. Instead, he found his mind wandering more than ever, pausing every few sentences to check his phone. He thumbed the pages of his text book anxiously, the pages noisily crinkling in protest. She's not responding.

Jaehee clicked his tongue in exasperation, irritated at his inability to will himself into submission. He wasn't exactly thrilled about this new development. When it came to women he had always had the upper hand, he never felt nervous or uncertain, and he definitely didn't sulk around like a stray dog waiting for table scraps. Yet here he was, eager with the anticipation that she would throw a mere morsel at him. His upper lip twisted in disgust at himself, knowing he'd happily devour it as if it were a feast. Jaehee leaned back in his chair, thinking back on when it had all gone wrong. The plan had been so simple; use Minji to get close to Haneul. His actions had been duplicitous, and yet at some point he lost track of where they suddenly became genuine.

He racked his brain, dredging up memories of their encounters in an act of masochistic autopsy. Maybe it was the thrill of the chase? The way she avoided him somehow intrigued him further, and he found himself loitering around, hoping to catch a glimpse or find an excuse to strike up a conversation. Initially, he had found a sort of childlike pleasure in teasing her the way he had with his older sister when he was younger. He thought on the way her lower lip would push out, pouting as he made japes at her expense or purposely ruffled her feathers. At some point though, his actions became compulsive, he found it harder to control himself and he groaned internally at the realization that he was no better than a schoolboy pulling at the braids of the girl he liked. Is this really what he had been reduced to? From unattached playboy to an immature child. Receiving her derision was still somehow better than getting nothing at all. Pathetic.

Then there was the other issue. Perhaps this was when he realized he had a serious problem on his hands. Jaehee was never one to get too sentimental, in fact he preferred to keep things casual. This was why the rotating roster of women in his life had been little more than conquests, playthings that he could explore his darkest fantasies with. With each encounter he found himself dulling slightly, requiring more and more fantasy to satisfy his desires. Yet now he found himself acting like a pubescent teen. He had composed himself through roleplay, three-ways, bondage– you name it, he had never faltered at the most depraved acts. And yet here he was, struggling to contain himself with just a look. The way the smell of Jasmine lingered in his coat. A stray strand of pink hair clinging to his sweater. The soft warmth of her skin under his fingertips. It all pushed him over the edge, torturing him in ways he never imagined. Even worse were her nightly visits, she infiltrated his dreams, like some sort of siren who allowed him to caress her in fantasy only.

Jaehee rubbed his hands over his face, his teeth clenched in frustration. While he normally was rather forward, he knew this technique wouldn't work with Minji. For some reason she maintained a wall between them and each time he broke through even slightly, he found himself back at square one. It was like the mere threat of a crack put her on the defensive. Any time he felt like they had made progress he found her ignoring him, going as far as to physically run away from him like she had that sunny day. Distracting himself with other girls had also proven to be ineffective. He never struggled to satisfy himself with a woman, and yet now he found them all so boring and lifeless. Nothing about their full lips, large breasts or wide hips did anything to pique his interest. So he suffered in silence, waiting pathetically for the next time she would run into him, or he could find an excuse to talk to her.

Minji had really chosen to test his patience this time around though. It had been two weeks since she last spoke to him at the train station. Jaehee played back the evening like a movie in his mind, searching for mistakes. He had to give her credit, given the fact that they were in the same department she had grown quite adept at avoiding him. Every time she so much as caught a glimpse of him she'd bolt in the opposite direction, as if he were infected with some incurable disease. He never imagined he could feel so repulsive.

Coffee this week? He rolled his eyes at his own message, sulking at his desperation. It was at this moment that he heard the sound of the study hall door click open, he glanced up from his phone to see her. Jaehee blinked, wondering if it was some sort of mind trick. She stepped through like a mirage, her hair surrounded by a halo of light. He drank her in, savoring her presence when a sudden panic flashed across her green eyes. With barely a foot in the door, she darted back out into the hallway. Jaehee frowned, bolting after her. Not this time.

His long legs caught up to her effortlessly, their footsteps echoing in the tiled hall. "Minji, come on, look at me" She quickened her stride, turning with surprising agility down a corner. "I know you can hear me!" he called out in frustration as she bolted towards the metal doors. Jaehee looked on in shock, it was pouring outside, was she really so desperate to escape him that she was willing to run out into the freezing rain? She pushed her body against the metal bar but the door simply clanged back in protest. He could see her begin to panic at the locked door, her movements frantic and eyes darting about like a cornered animal. Jaehee slowed his pace, stepping towards her carefully. Minji turned to face him in defeat, his heart dropping as he caught a glimpse of the tears building in her eyes.

"Why are you so afraid of me?" he mumbled softly, looking down at her as she pressed her body further against the metal door.

"I'm not afraid of you" her voice cracked, giving away the defiant tone she attempted to conjure.

"Then why are you running away?"

—-

Minji cast her eyes away from him, her lower lip quivering as if it alone was the dam holding back the wave of emotions building inside her. The cold door pressed against her back, her hands still stubbornly pushing on the metal bar, praying it would push open. It was no use, she was going to have to face him. Jaehee towered over her, his large body casting a foreboding shadow across hers. She heard a heavy sigh above her, and his body inched closer to hers, resting a hand to the right of her face. His smell clung around her, enveloping her like a warm, familiar hug. Minji willed herself to focus.

"At least let me help you" His eyes were sorrowful, the tone of his voice stabbing daggers into her as it dredged up memories of her childhood. Minji furrowed her brows, fire burned in her throat and an uncontrollable heat rose into her head, clouding her judgement.

"Why do you keep showing up? You're always…. Here." her hands flailed about, gesturing at her body "Around me."

"You act like that's a bad thing" Jahee offered up a wry smile.

"Look, I don't need your help ok? I've been doing just fine by myself for the past twenty years."

"I know you don't. Is it so bad that I want to be there for you regardless?" Minji bit her lip, the tears in her eyes clouding her vision as she looked up at the pained look in his face. Yes, it is.

Minji knew what dependance on a man led to. She wasn't even with him and she could already feel herself slipping, her body melting into irrationality at the mere sight of him. As a child she had always resented her mother, questioning how it was possible that she could abandon all reason and responsibility to chase after a man. A crushing weight pressed against her chest, her breath catching in her lungs as if she were drowning. Minji had promised herself that she wouldn't fall for a man, she would repeat this promise to herself almost like a prayer, a form of self protection from the largest wound that she had barely managed to stitch together.

The heat of his body intensified as he leaned closer. Minji squeezed her eyes shut, her body pressing into the door hoping against all reason that she would simply melt through it. Like a child she hid in the darkness of her own sight, believing that if she could not see him then perhaps he could not see her as well. Her heart now beat rapidly against her chest, threatening to burst out.

A loud click echoed above her. She peeked up at him in confusion, his long arm outstretched above her on a clasp.

"The door is open now"

Minji stared for a moment at the hurt look in his eyes. She wanted to plunge into his arms and wrap herself in him, using his body as a shield from the pain that swirled within her. There was nothing more that she wanted than to lose herself in his scent, or the burning feeling of his hot touch on her skin. Minji imagined what it would be like to feel his lips on hers, how comforting his large hands would be on her face. Would she be able to abandon her morals and her sister for a selfish feeling?

The bar clicked behind her and Minji stepped out into the pouring rain. Though her clothes became drenched almost immediately, she felt nothing for once as she walked away in no real direction. She finally allowed herself to cry, her hot tears blurring with the icy drops on her cheeks. Minji stood in the darkness alone, wishing her body would dissolve under the sheets of water that poured over her. Maybe if she stayed out here long enough the cold would numb her entirely. She repeated her promise, baptizing herself of her selfish feelings in the pouring rain.

Suddenly, she felt the touch of a familiar hand on her shoulder. Minji turned slowly, tears pouring down her face "Jaehee, just go. I'll be okay, just leave me, I'm goi—" her words were suddenly muffled by a kiss. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to the warmth of his body. Minji gripped at his wet clothes, pushing against his chest in protest, but her efforts were in vain. The promise she recited in her mind fell away at his touch, the warmth of his lips enveloping hers and quieting her mind. She finally gave in to Jaehee.