Swallow Your Pride

It had been a week since Lincoln was fired from I.M.P. and he had spent the majority of it crashing on the couch in Millie and Moxxie's apartment. At this particular moment, the Sinner Demon was clicking through TV channels until he spotted a familiar face. Verosika Mayday was on screen.

"I'm gonna make an announcement! Blitzo is a BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER who PISSED ON MY FUCKING CAR!" she screeched.

Lincoln slapped his forehead in embarrassment, "Oh god..."

"So I'm making a callout post on my Bitcher dot com, Blitzo, YOU GOT A SMALL DICK! It's like the size of my pinkie but WAY SMALLER-"

Lincoln shut off the TV and groaned. Soon after that, Millie and Moxxie stepped out of their bedroom, ready for the day.

"You uh, you doing any better today, Lincoln?" Moxxie asked.

Lincoln sat up, "No. I'm going a bit stir crazy waiting for Blitzo to change his mind."

Millie looked a bit downtrodden, "Sorry sug, Blitz still says he doesn't want ya back. He doesn't even want you stayin' with us."

Moxxie frowned, "He doesn't get a say in the second thing."

Lincoln sighed, "Figures. So...how has the office been since I've been fired?"

Moxxie shrugged, "We lost some clients, but Blitz says we didn't need them anyway. Then Loona stopped showing up, Blitz told us she is on vacation..."

"Vacation?"

Millie nodded, "...it's pretty obvious he's lying to us, he keeps changing the subject when we try to ask him about her."

"But forget about that! How are you settling in?" Moxxie asked.

Lincoln looked down at his feet, "I feel like I'm just invading your home, honestly."

Millie gave Lincoln a hug, "Don't you ever feel that honey, you are always welcome here."

Moxxie patted Lincoln on the back, "If anything, Blitzo is more guilty of that than you are."

Millie headed for the door, "Well, we need to get over to the workplace. Those humans won't kill themselves!"

Moxxie followed her, "Like always, make yourself at home, Lincoln. And help yourself to whatever's in the fridge!"

Lincoln waved them off and leaned back on the couch. He wondered what he should do now. Perhaps he could try to get into contact with Stolas? No, the situation with Octavia would make it too awkward, plus Stolas was still fucking Blitzo and Lincoln wasn't about to tell him about workplace drama.

The trio of fallen angels were nowhere to be found. Lincoln figured Collin was asleep in the closet and the last he saw of Cletus and Keenie was the previous night where they went out to find a place for Lincoln to rent. He could only imagine where they were now.

The Previous Night...

Keenie stopped Cletus, "Now hold on, you mean to tell me those imps are actually married? It isn't just some weird role play kink they have?"

Cletus nodded, "Ayup."

Keenie was still a moment, her face started to flush, "That's...kinda hot."

"Ayup."

"You wanna find a ditch to fuck in?"

"Ayup."

"Lincoln?"

While he was lost in thought, a portal with Lucy looking in appeared above Lincoln. He looked up and gave a half-hearted wave, "Hey Lucy."

"Hello, sorry for not checking in sooner. It's been crazy as usual...well no, it's been...ugh, how are you? Is this a good time to talk? If you're busy-"

"Lucy, it's okay...things have gone a bit well..."

Lincoln filled Lucy in on what had been happening.

"...wait, you were dating a Goetia?" Lucy asked.

Lincoln sulked, "Sort of, it's a long story...and I'm not dating her anymore."

"That's uh...kind of incredible. I wonder if-"

"Hey Lucy, I need to borrow one of your knives." said a voice from out of view.

A blanket suddenly obstructed the view, "Not now Lana, I'm busy."

"Who were you talking to?" Lana asked.

"Nobody! Go away."

"Don't you tell me what to do!" the blanket was uncovered and Lana was looking in through the portal, "...uh, a rabbit? Wait...Lincoln?"

Lincoln sighed, "Hi Lana...how are you?"

"Aren't you dead? What happened? Where are you? Why are you a rabbit?"

Lincoln decided to fill Lana in on everything too, and halfway through she began to wept.

"It isn't fair..." she finally sobbed.

Lucy was gently rubbing Lana's back.

"I know it isn't." Lincoln told her.

"You had a way to come back home and you DIDN'T? Why not?" Lana then asked.

"Do you really want that? Me back home from the dead as this rabbit-thing? I mean, I can turn into a human but it still doesn't really look exactly like me!"

Lana folded her arms, "It'd be better than you being in Hell."

Lucy sighed, "Sigh. Lana, believe me, if I knew there was a way to bring him back, I would have tried it."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow, "Try how? Is there like, a resurrection ritual or something?"

Lucy tapped her chin, "Before trying anything, we would need your body first. Mom and Dad said they had it cremated."

Lana shook her head, "That's a fucking lie. Lisa stole it."

"What?" Lincoln asked.

"What?" Lucy asked.

Lana held her arms out, "What? I tried to tell you but you said I had to 'respect her grieving' or whatever."

Lucy grabbed onto Lana's shirt, "You should have told me before! We've all spent a year without Lincoln and it has been the worst year of my life! And I don't mean that in a good way! You-"

"Lucy, stop!" Lincoln commanded.

Lucy stopped, still holding Lana's shirt.

"Now let go."

Lucy let go.

"Now apologize."

Lucy backed away a bit, shaking a little, "I'm...I'm sorry Lana..."

Lana was shaking a bit too, her mouth quivered but she didn't speak.

Lincoln took a deep breath, "Lucy, I get the stress, but you're still supposed to be the responsible one here. I don't know what's going on with Lisa and my body or if you guys can bring me back to life or not but for Christ's sake, don't you start fighting each other! The family has fallen apart enough as it is!"

"I'm sorry..." Lucy repeated, tears running down past her bangs that obscured her eyes.

"Uh...um...Lucy..." Lana stammered.

"Lana, I'm sorry I can't be there. Does Lisa really have my body?" Lincoln asked.

Lana nodded, "I...I know I saw her robots take a big box into her bunker a few days after the funeral. She didn't dissappear down it until after that..."

"...we need to talk to her. Force our way in if we have to." Lucy then said.

"Don't do anything too aggressive. Lisa is...well, Lisa. I'm surprised she hasn't tried time travel yet, but then again last time that almost got us all killed." Lincoln rambled.

Lucy nodded, "Yes...well...I'll see what we can do. Take care Lincoln. I'll try to contact you again soon."

Lana waved, "Uh...take care Lincoln...I hope we can talk again."

Lincoln waved back, "Me too, I love you guys."

The portal vanished and Lincoln put his face in his hands and wept a little.

There was then a knock on the window by the fire escape.

Lincoln frowned and looked over, the blinds were down. His sadness turned to rage and he pulled out his pistol as he approached the fire escape window. He pulled the blinds up and saw Loona.

Lincoln groaned and opened the window a little, "What do you want?"

Loona tried to barge in, "You. Let me in."

Lincoln grabbed her arm and shoved her back out, "Why? Haven't you done enough? I don't have a job now because-"

"I didn't want that to happen!" Loona cried out.

"You're still not getting in! Now fuck off!" Lincoln shouted.

Loona closed her eyes and slowly opened them up again, looking less angry and more as if she was a dog begging.

"What?" Lincoln flatly asked.

"I need to show you something." Loona reached into her shorts and pulled out a crumble of papers.

Lincoln took the papers and looked them over, "Are...are these your adoption papers?"

"No. Well, yeah. Ugh!" Loona tapped the bottom with Blitzo's signature, "Look, it's a summoning contract. Blitzo signed it. I want you to have it."

Lincoln stared blankly at her for a moment, "Why?"

"...I want to be your dog."

Lincoln threw the papers back to her, "Fuck no! I ain't doing this shit!" he then shut the window.

Loona got on her knees and put her hands on the glass, "Listen! I fucked up! I really fucked things up for you! I get why you don't want me around!"

"You sure did, now fuck off." Lincoln pulled the blinds down.

"Wait! Please!"

Lincoln groaned and pulled the blinds up, "What?"

"Look, I hate my life. It's miserable. You being around made it feel less miserable. I get you hate me, but I am going to go fucking crazy if I'm not around you! I want to be with you! I want to be your dog! You can make me do anything! Please!"

Lincoln's face got a bit red, he opened the window and got out, he grabbed her by the arms and shook her, "For fucks sake Loona, that sounds fucking crazy! You need help, like therapy, I get Hell probably doesn't have much of that, but I... shit..."

"...what?" Loona sniffed a bit, "Did-did you get hard?"

"It's my lust I guess...I haven't really had sex since the breakup."

The fact that the two were physically touching probably didn't help much either.

"Don't you fuck that sheep?"

"Uh...not much..."

Keenie shuddered a bit.

"Did I touch a too sensitive spot?" Cletus asked.

Keenie shook her head, "No, I just felt a disturbance...I didn't tell you to stop, now did I?"

Moxxie and Millie walk into their apartment after another rough day at I.M.P.

Loona was in their apartment, being bent over the couch headrest with her breasts out, slapping the back of the couch. Her mouth was wide open with her tongue out as far as it could. Her eyes were looking upwards towards the celling, or more likely the surface of Hell.

Behind her was Lincoln, who was gritting his teeth and glaring at the back of the head of the hellhound. Roughly humping his hips against Loona's rump. His hands holding the girl down as he thrusted in and out of her.

The sound of the door opening caused Lincoln to look up, "Oh fuck." he pulled out of Loona with his member covered in a mix of fluids.

Loona's face went from euphoria to confusion, "Eh, why're you stop- oh fuck."

Moxxie and Millie were frozen in the doorway for a moment. Moxxie slowly raised up and pointed at her, "Are you two..."

Loona grinned at him, "Fucking all over your apartment? Yeah."

A short time later, Lincoln and Loona were both on their knees with big lumps on their foreheads. Millie was patting her cast iron wok while shaking her head, "Lincoln...we love you, you know that...and you missy...well..."

"I'm not sorry." Loona told her.

"Guess you need another serving!" Millie smacked her again with her wok.

Moxxie was pinching his nose, "This is just what I need! If Blitz finds out his stupid spoiled bitch of a daughter is here, he's not just going to fire us, he's going to try to flay us!"

Loona growled at him, "There's gonna be nothing to flay if you call me that again!"

"Do y'all need a THIRD serving?" Millie asked.

Lincoln opened his mouth, "Guys, stop! She's not even Blitzo's daughter, she's..."

"What?" Moxxie asked.

Lincoln hesitated a moment, but soon enough he pointed at the papers on the coffee table. Moxxie went over to it, finding Loona's adoption papers/summoning contract. At the bottom was Lincoln's signature.

"Wait...so you own Loona now?" he then asked.

Lincoln nodded, "Me being a sinner overwrote Blitzo's ownership or something."

Moxxie chortled, then broke into an uncontrollable laughter. He fell back onto the floor and kicked his legs in the air while holding onto his stomach, "I'm gonna die! This is the best fucking thing I've heard all week!" he cheered.

Loona growled and tried to get up.

"Sit, girl." Lincoln ordered.

Loona did so.

Millie cracked a bit and started to giggle.

"Don't...do that." Loona grumbled.

"Hey, you wanted this..." Lincoln reminded.

Swallow Your Pride, All is Not Lost