Testing Audio -DK Principessa

by kibass91

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9. Love arranged

Chapter 1: How it started

Chapter Text

"Have I done something to you? Why is it that you dislike me so?!" Anthony cried out in anger.

"Because!"

He curled his head dramatically waiting for her to finish. When Kate looked around frantically, Anthony moved closer. Anthony knew she had the fire and he admired her for it, but the fire was out of hand and needed to be doused with some icy cold water.

"Because you vex me!" She finally finished with a violent jerk of her head.

"And what is it, do you think, you do to me?" He queried, taking another step closer.

Kate Sharma's eyes widened slightly. There was no denying her beauty or her spirit. He did not wish to deny it either. Kate was a rather thorny flower, but a flower no less than put many bouquets to shame.

"What?" She seemed so confused and angry, "What do I do to you?"

You are a gentleman, Anthony .

"You…" He was panting with anger now and drew a step closer, "You hate me."

A statement. The look on her face seemed as though her resolve was cracking. Those wise eyes let him see just a fraction of the battle inside–the battle he hoped he alone did not face. He took another step closer as if hoping to explore her vulnerability further but as soon as he did her brown eyes glazed over with anger.

The tendrils that framed her face shook as she shook her head and replied;

"Yes," She spoke softly, "I do. I hate you."

Silence.

Anger, regret, lust and sorrow. All emotions burned inside of him at that very moment. Anger at how unbearable she was. Regret that he had not won her affection. Lust at how this woman set him aflame with every word she spat at him. Sorrow that her words were true.

She did hate him. Kathani Sharma hated Anthony Bridgerton.

"Oh." The voice of a female broke through the haze.

They both turned to see who it was and were shocked to see Daphne. Anthony felt his stomach drop.

"Daphne," Anthony warned before his sister fled from the room after bobbing a curtsy. "Daphne!" He called after her again but this time he followed his sister, leaving Kate alone to brood in silence.

When he finally caught his sister he found her guzzling down a gulp of whiskey. Anthony's eyes widened at the sight of his sister heartily drinking. When she turned to him, she thrust a cup into his hand. Clinking the glasses together, she chugged the rest down.

Daphne's behaviour was so strange that he thought he would be in less trouble if he just went along with it. His thoughts were wrong. The whiskey was to numb the pain when she took a shot at his arm.

Simon had told him about how she had knocked Nigel out cold with just one well-placed punch to the nose, though nothing had prepared him for the pain that seared up his arm. Anthony clutched his burning shoulder and yelped.

"What was that for?"

"You are courting her sister!" Daphne whisper shouted.

Anthony was too stunned to speak. He was not even sure what he would say to a statement like that. It was true. He was courting Edwina with every intention of asking for her hand in marriage but…Edwina was not Kate.

Edwina was all that was good and desirable but he could not change his heart's desire. The substance of his dreams was Kate. His reason to breathe was Kate. What he wanted was Kate. But he could not have her!

And she hates you.

"You obviously have affection for Miss Sharma–"

"You are mistaken, sister." Anthony interrupted, "She is…is aggravating."

Daphne sent him a despising look.

"Is that what I just witnessed? Aggravation?"

He couldn't argue with her there. His desire for Miss Sharma was practically radiating from his skin. But it was damn near impossible to stay away from her when she drew him in with those barbs, challenging gazes and defiant air. In a way, Kathani Sharma was his other soul.

She hates you .

Without another word, Anthony gulped the rest of the whiskey down until his glass was empty. When the last drop touched his lips he moved to refill his glass but his sister placed a gentle hand on him causing him to look up at her.

"There is obviously something between you two–"

"She hates me, Daph." Anthony said as if saying those words aloud did not crush him, "The only thing between us is going to be an ocean when she moves back to India."

Baby blue eyes looked back at him with sympathy. That look made him want his whiskey even more but Daphne did not take her hand from his, and if he was honest he did not want her to. It felt like Seina all over again.

"Do you want her to stay?" Daphne asked.

Anthony reeled back as if she had burnt him. That question caught him off guard. He did not give himself time to think about the possible ways to answer her question and merely backed away from her.

"Anthony." She called after him when he fled from the room.

His breaths were coming faster as he tried to calm the pounding in his heart and the whiskey taking effect on his mind. Each step felt like another hour had passed and his time was running out. Air! He needed fresh air!

Unfortunately on his way to the terrace, he bumped into his brother, Benedict.

"Brother, have you seen—glory you look dreadful," Ben remarked with an amused frown.

Benedict was number two of the Bridgerton clan and one of the reasons he would surely be grey before his forties. The artsy type with a great sense of humour and a man you could count on when times were tough. Ben was a friend when you needed one and an excellent drinking partner. Anthony was blessed to have Ben by his side.

Although they were close Anthony was feeling too vulnerable to talk about it now so he pinned on a tight smile and pretended as though his heart was not breaking.

"Thank you, brother." He said, through gritted teeth.

Ben's look of amusement dimmed when he took a closer look at his brother. Grey eyes scanned him up and down. Anthony silently pleaded with his brother to let it go. Ben got the message and pinned on a smile. It was as if they were reading from the same script from how well Ben played his part.

"Have I seen whom, brother?" Anthony asked, walking along the edge of the ballroom with Ben.

"Ah yes, have you seen Miss Featherington? Eloise is looking for her and is rather concerned." Ben's dark brows drew down in a frown.

"I thought those two were joined at the hip?" Ant asked as they stopped at the drinks table.

"Yes well normally, but mother somehow managed to shove El on the dancefloor," Ben snickered, "but when she stomped on the man's foot and left, she could not find Miss Featherington again."

Anthony was rather amused up until the point that he was informed his sister had caused a scene.

"That girl is going to be the death of me, I swear." Ant said, running a hand over his face and shaking his head in exasperation. Eloise was his second youngest sister but was also what he considered to be chaos walking.

His mother and he had tried as best they could to prepare her for her coming into society and even tried to explain that it would be good for her. In the end, she was forced, kicking and screaming, to present. What he was not told until later, was that she had cried the night before, petrified of being an embarrassment to her family.

Pen had held her the whole night and tried to help her see that it was not as scary as she thought. Ben had been the one to find them out in the gardens, El asleep in Pen's arms, still whimpering slightly. Pen made him promise not to tell anyone about his sister's fears. Ben smiled and gave her his word as a gentleman.

He picked her up and carried her back to her room so she could sleep. When Eloise woke the next morning she was shocked to see she was in her bed and not in the arms of her friend in the gardens. True to his word though, Ben had not told anyone except El herself.

The only reason Ant found out was when Eloise was arguing with him about how ridiculous balls were. Her anger had finally boiled over when he yelled at her to just accept her fate as a Bridgerton.

"A Bridgerton?" She scoffed before turning red from anger, "Did you know that I wept for hours the night before my presentation–because I am a Bridgerton ! I kept thinking of all the ways I would cause us ruin if I fainted or if I said the wrong thing–or even if I curtsied the wrong way!" She cried out, tears stinging her eyes. "And did you know that it was not a Bridgerton who came to comfort me in my distress but Pen! "

Her tears fell at this comment.

"I am a painting, Anthony! Someone to observe and mock at their choosing but never to see for what they truly are!" His little sister was so open in her moment of weakness.

"I see you, El–" Anthony rose from his chair and moved to be closer to her as a way of comfort but she backed away from him and held up a hand to stop him.

"No, you don't!" She screamed in anger. "The ton only sees the name I carry! Lady Whistledown sees a joke and a halfwit! My family sees a mess and an inconvenience!" Her voice cracked.

It hurt him to see his firecracker of a sister this way.

"Pen is the only one who sees a little girl afraid of the crowd, terrified of letting her family down, and wanting to be in the presence of her brother for one meeting without being told that she is a mistake." Eloise whimpered before bursting into uncontrollable sobs.

Ant rushed to her side and brought her into a crushing embrace. He had no intention of letting her go that night. Eloise cried into his shoulder for at least an hour before she ran out of tears. At that time he just held her close and told her how proud he was of her and that she could never disappoint him.

From that day on he vowed to be there for Eloise and make sure that she knew that he was proud of her. Eloise was a rare gem that sparkled. He did not wish to be the cloth that hid her glow or the darkness that made her feel alone. He also vowed to thank Penelope personally for how she had been there for his sister.

Now here he was, still yet to fulfil that promise.

"So the last time she saw Miss Featherington was…?"

"Before her dance around half an hour ago. But I saw her around twenty minutes ago before I saved you from Miss Cowper."

Anthony's eyes widened.

"She has been missing for half an hour?" He asked incredulously, louder than he had intended.

Ben hushed him as some couples turned to see what the noise was about.

"Yes, brother," Benedict said.

"Has her family left already? Perhaps she is home again." Anthony tried not to jump to the worst-case scenarios.

"Eloise said that she was on her way to see if Pen had returned home. Mother is with her, so you can wipe that look of fright off your face." Ben snickered, while he took a glass of lemonade.

"Well you shall check the library and I shall check the gardens," Anthony said before taking a sip of Ben's drink and handing it back to him.

His brother threw his arms up in protest but rolled his eyes and went off in the direction of the library. Anthony chuckled and took another sip before moving in the direction of the gardens. He did not get five paces before he was met with the sight of Kate dancing with Lord Fife.

Their eyes locked. Time stilled.

Anthony felt as though the wind had been knocked from him. He instinctively took another step towards the dancefloor causing her eyes to widen and quickly turn back to her partner. When their gaze broke he felt as though the spell over him was broken.

Looking around quickly Anthony made sure that no one had seen him staring. When he was relieved to see that everyone was too busy gossiping or flirting. He did not allow himself time to catch his breath, he merely rushed out the door to get some fresh air.

A gust of cold air filled his lungs as soon as he left the stuffy house and stood on the terrace. Air had never tasted so sweet, especially when it felt as though his dinner threatened to make an appearance. It was too late to hide his feelings now. He gave his heart to Kate before he even realised it was on his sleeve.

Ant closed his eyes and focused on breathing in the delicious air. When his heart started beating at a steady pace, he opened his eyes to try to focus. Placing his hands on the stone pillar framing the terrace he threw his head down in defeat.

Before he allowed himself deeper into his pity party a flash of soft pink flew into his peripheral vision. Anthony turned his head in the direction of the blur and saw its head in the direction of the maze. Curiosity bade him head in the direction of the blur.

It took him only a few minutes before he was at the entrance of the maze. The garden air held a chill and the breeze carried a delicious fragrance of blooming flowers. Anthony did not allow himself to get caught up thinking about how very much the flowers smelt of Kate.

"I refuse to marry him !" A whimpering female voice came from deeper into the maze. Anthony was curious.

Ignoring the common decency of giving the woman her space, he walked deeper into the maze. The further he went, the louder the sniffles and sobs got. After what felt like an hour, he finally rounded the corner to see a woman in a flush pink dress with her head buried in her hands, sobbing lightly as she sat on the bench overlooking the canopy of wallflowers.

The woman continued to sniffle. Anthony drew a step closer upon instinct but soon regretted it as soon as a twig cracked underfoot. He bit back a curse. The sobbing woman lifted her head in his direction and they locked eyes.

Her eyes widened in horror at being caught crying and she stood instantly.

"Lord Bridgerton!" Penelope Featherington cried out in shock. Her cheeks matched her fiery hair.

Anthony moved towards her as if to calm her.

Chapter 2: Far From a Perfect Evening

Summary:

From Penelope Featherington's point of view...this ball could not be over soon enough.

And she could do without the baron and his marked intentions.

Notes:

You guys are amazing! I had no idea you'd all like it this much but...here we are! Enjoy the next chapter y'all!

Chapter Text

It was a ball like any other. The bustle and squawks of matchmaking mamas. The flirting women and men alike were all set on getting their hands on each other's money or…person. But lastly, it was like any other ball because Penelope Featherington was left to her own company while all others forgot about her existence.

Penelope waited awkwardly in the corner so that she could stay away from her meddling mama. Portia had been telling her youngest child for the past few weeks that she had someone that she wanted Pen to meet an eligible suitor, Baron Huthling. Penelope was embarrassed by her mother's antiques but that embarrassment soon turned into horror when Lady Bridgerton had been over one afternoon and shared some news about the Baron.

"You are referring to the elderly widow, yes?" Violet shot a glance at Penelope with shock in her voice and astonishment in her eyes.

Portia was too oblivious to notice and puffed her chest out in pride, "The very same. He was telling me how he admires my dear Penelope and how he hopes that she–"

"Did he not just finish burying his wife?" Daphne interjected, teacup halfway to her lips.

"I hear he has a loose pocket–"

"Gregory!" Violet shot him a chastising look.

"But that is what Ben and Anthony say all the time–"

"Enough, Gregory." His mother said firmly.

The more they spoke about this the more lightheaded Penelope became until she had to ask her mother to be excused. Portia had questioned her at first but soon allowed her daughter to leave. Once in the confines of her room Pen locked the door and placed a hand on her chest to calm the rapid beating of her heart.

After that afternoon filled with knowledge about the Baron, Penelope had been dreading this night. Her worries eased slightly when she caught sight of Eloise Bridgerton in her shimmery and bedazzled bluish-grey dress. As always, Eloise looked uncomfortable in her stunning outfit.

Eloise and she were an inseparable duo. El promised not to leave her side in case her mother brought the Baron over. And all was well until Eloise had been ripped from her side to be dragged to the dancefloor by her mother. Penelope made sure that El knew it was okay to leave her by the drinks table. Penelope knew how desperate Violet was to have Eloise find a match even though El wanted nothing of the sort.

Knowing this, Pen remained El's wingwoman to ward off the moronic men who only wanted to get to El for her Bridgerton money. It was no secret how very wealthy the Bridgerton's were. Men and women alike came by the hordes to see which of the Bridgerton's they could get their grubby hands on. The men of the ton seemed to think that Eloise Bridgerton would be an easy pocket to snare because she was so young and clearly naive . Those gentlemen were in for a rude awakening.

Poor Lord Morrison and his now numb toes were paying for his degrading remark. Eloise had made sure to stomp on his foot as hard as she could for his sexist remarks. And boy did he regret them. Violet was appalled and rushed to apologise on behalf of her daughter but he would not hear of it.

Penelope was quick to chase after her friend but El wanted to be alone. Honouring her friend's wishes she returned to the edge of the ballroom hoping to occupy herself. All was well and Pen thought as the night dragged on that perhaps her mother would forget about her and focus on Prudence. Her luck had run out because moments later, mother was by her side dragging her towards the Baron.

Upon first glance, Baron Huthling was old, at least fifteen years her senior, but when she got closer she noticed that he was in fact over twice her age. Mother had left Prudence to talk to the old grey-haired geezer while she retrieved Pen and by the look on Prudence's face, she was almost sorry for her younger sister. The baron looked like he should be in a hospital not in a ballroom.

When he asked her to dance she felt so very ill, but when her mother sent her a deadly glare, daring her to refuse, Pen accepted with a tight smile. If anything came from this night so far at least it would be the fact that she could add at least one dance to her dance card, even if that name wasn't Colin Bridgerton.

Colin Bridegeton.

The most distinguished, witty, handsome, and the most entertaining gentleman of the ton. Penelope was hopelessly in love with Colin, and he would never know. Penelope had made sure of it. If he ever found out about her undying love for him, she would surely move to Scotland as a writer under a false name! There was no way that she would ever allow Colin to find out.

As long as he remained one of her friends, sent her his letter from his travels and signed them as your friend or sincerely , she could live with the reality that he would never love her the way she loved him. Colin Bridgerton and his most delicious laugh and eyes would be the substance of her dreams.

But he was not hers. Colin was not at the ball. He was visiting Marina–

"How do you feel about children, my darling?" The baron asked, drawing her attention back to the dance and his boring conversation. Her skin crawled with his term of endearment. He spoke to her as if she was his already.

"Children are lovely." She said diplomatically.

"I am glad you think so. You see my wife never graced me with children of our own meaning I do not have an heir," Pen felt lightheaded causing her to stumble slightly. Unfortunately, the baron saw fit to grip her tighter and lower than deemed appropriate, "Well as you know, no heir means that my title will be passed on to another who is not my son. It is no secret that I am hunting for a beautiful–"

"The music has stopped, sir." Penelope bowed and moved to leave but her arm was caught by the handsy baron. The look in his grey eyes was threatening and full of lust.

"Another dance?"

"That would be rather improper, sir." She said calmly.

"But–"

"A dance, Miss Featherington?" A voice came from behind her.

Her hero! Benedict Bridgerton.

"Thank you Mr Bridgerton." Pen took his hand without hesitation and he led her to the farther end of the dancefloor. The music started a rather jovial tone and they quickly fell into the beat. The second Bridgerton smiled joyfully as they danced together.

The tune left little room for talking but plenty for laughing with glee. By the time they bowed to their partners, Ben took hold of her hand and was leading her to the drinks table.

"Thank you, Mr Bridgerton, for saving me back there."

"We are old friends, are we not?" She blushed and nodded. "Then Ben shall have to do."

"I guess it must." Penelope giggled.

"You make that sound like a bad thing." He feigned offence.

Penelope stopped and looked at him in shock.

"Is it not?" Then she burst out laughing at his facial expression. Soon his lovely laugh filled her ears.

Benedict was excellent company; fun and, intelligent, he did not look down at her due to her wealth or what she looked like. Ben was always open and had always been welcoming to her–mostly because of Eloise, she was certain, but still…he was a kind man whom she would call her friend.

"You cannot seriously be thinking about that toad?" He shook his head in amusement.

Pen laughed and held back a shiver, "If the stories hold true then I hear some toads turn into handsome princes'."

Another round of laughter from them. By now they were by the drinks table in the back of the room, enjoying each other's company. That was how Pen liked it best, so she was not complaining.

"But really? Him?" He asked, more serious this time.

"My mother wishes me to make a good impression." Pen answered, hoping that was enough explanation. She feared that if she spoke on it more then perhaps he would think she was interested.

"How so many people can tolerate being in one display is beyond me," Ben said, shrugging

Penelope smiled sadly at the words, knowing them deeply well.

"We are all paintings are we not? Pieces on display for the world to see." Pen said frowning, "Though the people you wish to see you, never really see. It feels as though you are calling for them just begging them to look. As if saying–" Pen looked up over at the door where her mother stood talking with the baron, " 'I am here. Don't you see me?' "

Penelope could feel his intense gaze on her face but she made an effort of looking to the floor. She realised that she had revealed too much of herself and quickly tried to lighten the mood.

"Of course, not all paintings are deserving of such observation–take Miss Cowper, she has spent more time talking off your poor brother's ear than observing that he looks so bored he could faint." Pen said with a gesture towards Anthony Bridgerton, the eldest Bridgerton son.

Ben looked and failed to hold back a laugh.

"What a barb."

"Perhaps you should save him." Pen said, with a giggle, "Be the hero for your brother as you were to me. He will be in your debt I am sure."

Ben saw the ordeal and groaned in understanding but there was still laughter behind his eyes.

"I guess I could be the hero one final time." With a comical bow to Penelope, he was off to rescue Anthony and once again she was alone.

Oh, but she wished he had not left her because the next moment her mother was by her side dragging her away from the ballroom. Penelope could barely register what was going on before her mother was in front of her in the next room.

"Mama, what is the matter?" Penelope was messaging her wrist.

"You are to marry the baron. So go over there and flatter him."

"I don't want to marry him! He is so very old, Mama." Pen made a horrified face.

"What does that matter? It only means he shall die sooner and give you his inheritance, as long as you are with child." Portia rolled her eyes and pointed at Penelope's stomach, emphasising the fact.

Penelope had never been so mortified in her life. The thought of marrying the baron made her ill, but the thought of coming to be with his child made her feel so very faint. She could feel the blood drain from her face.

"Do not look like that, Penelope, just be glad that someone is desiring you–"

"I do not want to be desired by the baron!" She cried out louder than anticipated and drew back.

"Stop shouting and pull yourself together." Portia was too tired for her daughter's antiques, "Now go to the powder room and make yourself presentable for the baron. Go and ask him to dance."

Penelope was reeling with shock. Her mother was impossible! Portia took another step closer and started fixing Penelope's dress to drape lower in the bosom area. Pen gasped and went to swat her mother's hand away but Portia gave her daughter a stern look and continued lowering the dress slightly.

"You must show off your assets, my dear. The baron shall be so enamoured by you that he may just propose marriage this very night." She squawked in excitement. "Now go and show off your new look."

"I do not feel comfortable, Mama, please do not make me–"

"I will not hear another word about it, Penelope. Off you go." Portia shooed her in the direction of the ballroom.

Penelope was so glad that her mother did not come with her because she very well planned on running away to beg Eloise to hide her in her room. The last thing she wished was to be in close proximity to the baron. Though none of her wishes for his disappearance came true.

Their eyes locked and he held a look of hunger in his eyes. Pen's insides squirmed and she tried to escape out one of the doors but her mother made eye contact with her and shot her a warning look. She was begging with her eyes on her mother but Portia was more determined than ever.

By the time she turned to look back at the baron, he was only an arm's reach away.

"Another dance, my darling?" He leered.

"I-I…" Pen looked around for anyone to rescue her from this dance.

Benedict could not save her every time!

Oh, where is Colin?! He could save me from another dance. If only he was not off with Marina!

"I find that I am rather hot, please excuse–"

"Yes, it is rather warm," The baron's eyes drifted to her lowered bodice, licking his lips, before looking back up at her, "Allow me to take you to the gardens for some air." It was not a suggestion.

Dread filled her. In the gardens, they would be alone! She would surely die if they were seen alone together. What would the ton say?! She would surely have to write about it in Lady Whistledown! No! She would not go with him.

"No thank you, sir. I should like to go alone–"

"Yes, we shall not be disturbed if that is what you are concerned about." He glanced again and she had had enough.

"Perhaps you should grace another unmarried woman with a dance, sir, you are a skilled partner. Though I fear your skills end there. Goodnight." She bowed and left before he could follow.

She fled.

The night air was comforting and very welcoming, but she did not allow herself a moment of rest and headed straight for the maze, that way she could sob in private. Once deep in the maze, Pen found a bench and slumped in it before burying her head in her hands and crying.

Why can my mother not understand?

"I will not marry him! " Pen sobbed.

Her heart felt like it was breaking anew. And although each second a piece of her heart was chipped away, she was glad for the privacy so that when she was in a condition to return inside, she would be able to have picked up the broken pieces alone.

Her privacy lasted a total of five minutes before she heard a twig snap to her right. Her head shot up to see who was there. To her horror, she saw the oldest brother of the man she was deeply in love with.

She was on her feet in an instant. The thought of him seeing her crying over his brother made her want the ground to swallow her up, or to have a bolder crush her–or better yet, forget it never happened.

"Lord Bridgerton!"

Chapter 3: One Garden, Two Heart-broken, and a Misunderstanding

Summary:

So it begins...

What was an innocent encounter turned out to be all one big misunderstanding.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Miss Featherington, forgive me." Anthony inclined his head in a bow.

"No, you must forgive me , my lord." Pen went to bow but her legs were still wobbly from fright and nearly came crashing to the floor, and would have if it had not been for Anthony rushing to her side and holding her up.

Pen's arms reached for his shoulders to steady herself but she gasped at the feeling of his hands tightly around her hips sending a shiver up her spine. He looked down at her tear-stained face in concern.

"Are you alright?" Anthony asked.

Her cheeks were on fire and she could not get over the feeling of any man being so close, even when dancing she had never been so close to her partner before. The feeling of his hands on her hips was electric and his gaze was piercing. All she could do was nod.

"Miss Featherington, please tell me what is the matter?" He asked, yet to let go of her.

Pen shifted slightly, eyes downcast, and only then did Anthony realise how soft she felt in his arms. Penelope Featherington was his sister's best friend. Heck, she was practically his sister herself! Although she was over at Number Five regularly he still did not know her very well, except for the fact that she was the shy, youngest child to a monster of a mother.

He felt like a villain for thinking of how delightful those full curves felt under his gloved hands, or how very delightful the view of her pillowy lips shimmered from her red tongue that had snaked across to wet them or the fact that her low neckline was a welcome sight.

She was more than ten years his junior for goodness sake!

He had never noticed how very deep and gorgeous her eyes were. So very different from Kate's steely and dark eyes. The two were different in every way. Penelope was so sweet and innocent, like water–while Kate was fierce and sarcastic, like fire.

"My lord?" Penelope squeaked out, eyes wide. She looked so innocent.

I am a gentleman .

The thought made him pull away hurriedly causing her to jerk back also. Unfortunately in doing so, her legs got caught on an exposed piece of wire. Pen howled in pain when the sharp wire bit into the skin. Anthony reached for her again.

"It seems I am in your debt, my lord." Pen laughed but quickly winced in pain when a stinging set in her ankle. She looked down and lifted her dress an inch and saw a thick trickle of blood flow down her ankle and absorb through her stockings. Anthony saw this too and lifted her in his arms.

"My lord!" Pen gasped, instinctively wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You have injured yourself, Miss Featherington. Let me inspect your ankle."

"I am too heavy, my lord." She protested.

Anthony looked down at her with a raised brow. It was no secret that Penelope was shapley. She was larger than most of the ton but she still possessed her charm. It filled him with rage to know that her mother had made her feel ugly and forgotten in the ton.

Portia Featherington was a cruel and vicious woman who had tried to crush the happy soul of her youngest daughter, yet by some miracle, Penelope had managed to stay the best of them all. Penelope Featherington was a diamond no matter how much she weighed.

"Miss Featherington I assure you that you are not too heavy. In fact, I find you rather light compared to some of the loads I was forced to carry back in my younger years." He said seriously.

She flushed prettily and looked down embarrassed. She was so relieved when he finally placed her on the bench she was sitting on moments ago. Anthony dropped to his knees so that they were at eye level.

My, she is rather pretty from this angle.

"May I?" He gestured to her dress so that he could inspect her ankle to keep it from infection.

"I am perfectly fine, it was just a tiny cut." She said hurriedly.

"Miss Featherington, please let me clear my conscience seeing as I was the one who startled you. I just wish to confirm that there is no serious injury." Anthony curled his head to the side as if begging like a puppy.

His facial expression made her laugh slightly causing him in turn to smile also.

"As you wish, my lord." She giggled again.

He saw fit to remove his white gloves to keep them from stains. Placing them in his pocket neatly, he started his work. Gently, Anthony started lifting the skirt of her dress but she quickly drew back as much as she could sitting down without falling backwards.

"What are you doing?!" She asked louder than she intended to.

Instead of looking angry like she suspected, Anthony looked amused.

"I am merely inspecting for infection." He chuckled.

"Oh." Was all she said before relaxing slightly. He took this as a sign to continue his previous endeavours.

Again he moved to lift her skirts slightly. He looked up to make sure that she was okay with this. Her gaze met him with a slight yet nervous smile, so he continued. Gently and carefully, Anthony took hold of her left foot and lifted it slightly so it rested on his knee and he could observe it better.

She did a rather good job of cutting herself. He needed to clean the wound and also disinfect it, but to do that he needed her stocking out of the way. It was very improper but he would rather breach proprietary than have her ill from infection.

"Miss Featherington, I need you to take your stocking off."

"What?!" She asked loudly.

"I must disinfect the wound but your stocking is in the way. I could cut them but I do not have anything to cut them with."

"Could you not rip them?" She asked hopefully.

Get your mind out of the gutter and stop thinking of ripping her clothes off!

He cleared his throat.

"If you are certain–"

"No." Penelope said, sighing, "I shall take them off. Mama will have a fit if they are ripped."

Slowly she bent to take it off, giving Ant a pleasant view of her breasts.

Look away!

And so he did. The image of her reaching in her skirt was turning him on far more than it should have–and it shouldn't have! She cleared her throat to inform him he could look. Seeing as her leg was still on his knee, she needed his help taking it off the rest of the way. And so he did.

He gently took her stocking off the rest of the way, delighting in the skin-to-skin contact. He heard her breath catch and fought to keep his smile from showing. Though when he saw the cut uncovered any thought of smiling vanished.

Taking out the flask he poured the alcohol on her cut. Penelope hissed in a breath from the pain and he looked up and apologised. She shook off his apology but kept her eyes closed as if trying to focus on anything but the pain. Pen also placed a hand on his shoulder and gripped it tightly to redivert the sting.

Instantly, Anthony took out his hanky and dabbed it lightly on her ankle, trying to absorb the blood but also press the alcohol further into the cut. She squeezed harder and he gazed up at her to send her a look of apology but her eyes were closed tightly.

"You have done a grand job of the cut, Miss Featherington." Anthony shook his head and smiled grimly. He ran his hand gently and dabbed the wound again eliciting a groan of pain to spill from her lips.

Anthony gulped at the sound. If he did not know she was in pain he would have mistaken it for a different kind of moaning. All kinds of images rushed to his head of what he wished to do to–

This is Penelope Featherington you git!

Just before he could apologise or remove her leg from his knee, a loud gasp came from the entry of the maze. Both sets of eyes turned to see a wide-eyed Violet Bridgerton accompanied by Eloise. To make matters worse Lady Danbury and Portia Featherington along with Cousin Jack were also witnessing their close proximity.

Penelope pulled away hurriedly as if trying to make them unsee what they just witnessed. Her heart plummeted to the bottom of the earth when they looked between Ant and her. She felt so faint and surely would have collapsed again if it had not been for her pure determination to make this right.

"It is not as it looks!" Pen croaked out half in pain as she rose to her feet and part in horror. She reached out her hands trying to stop time, but when she did she remembered she had her bloodstained stocking in her hand.

All eyes turned to the piece of clothing then back to her.

"Brother, what are you doing to Pen?" El looked teary, angry and confused all in one.

Anthony moved towards his family just as desperate.

The look in his mother's eyes was one of horror.

"Mother I can explain–"

"I am sure you can." His mother replied evenly, her warning clear.

"Lady Bridgerton, your son was merely assisting me–"

"Penelope, what have you done?! You are ruined, you silly girl!" Portia cried out, loud enough for anyone in the garden to hear.

Penelope cringed at her mother's antiques but was too mortified to speak. Anthony knew he had to do something.

"In fact, P-Pen was assisting me," Anthony said, knowing he had to play their familiarity well, "I thought the garden was the best place to propose to the most gorgeous flower."

Time stilled. Penelope's heart stopped. His words were impossible to take back, impossible to go back from, impossible to unsay and impossible to rewrite. Anthony had just pathed a path of both their futures.

"B-brother?" Eloise asked, stuttering over her words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" Anthony walked over to Pen with an outstretched hand. His brown eyes begged her to take his hand. Pen with a shaky hand reached for his. Anthony moved to her side and pinned on a winning smile, "Penelope is to be the next Viscountess Bridgerton."

Lady Danbury smiled approvingly. Violet looked teary-eyed, Portia and Cousin Jack looked shocked but then smiled greedily. Penelope looked as white as his linens and Eloise looked as though someone had just told her that her piano lessons had been extended an hour. Anthony remained smiling, waiting for someone to speak.

"You are both a handsome match." Lady Danbury smiled, "I wish you both happiness."

"My daughter, a viscountess! Out of all my daughters, I did not think it would be you, my dear." Portia said with a cruel undertone. Cousin Jack just smiled and nodded to the couple, clearly thinking the same as her mother.

"What?!" Eloise shouted, finally regaining her tongue.

"Eloise!" Violet scolded before turning to her son and his new finance smiling. "I am happy for both of you. I always knew you would be a Bridgerton one day, Penelope!"

Violet walked over to them and gave them both a tight hug.

Penelope was in a trance and felt as though she was living a nightmare. A horrible nightmare.

"Thank you, mother," Anthony said, squeezing Penelope's hand, trying to bring her back to the land of the living. It did the trick.

"Th-thank you." Pen stuttered, trying as hard as she could to work up a smile. Her gaze finally met Eloise and she nearly choked on a sob at the stormy look her friend sent her way. Eloise shook her head angrily with tears in her eyes and turned to the house.

"El! Eloise, wait!" Pen called after her. If Anthony did not have possession of her hand, she surely would have run after her friend. Anthony sensed this and turned to her before sending her a look of reassurance.

"May I be allowed a moment alone with my fiance? Nothing untoward shall happen, mother." Anthony said firmly, "We will follow you to the house in a few moments."

At this point, Portia only cared that her daughter was to marry a viscount and was more than happy to leave them alone without a chaperone. Violet on the other hand knew how her son had gotten the title rake for a reason and so gave her son a firm look as if to tell him that he best keep his hands to himself, before turning to Pen smiling. Lady Danbury gave them both a knowing nod and walked off with Violet close behind. There was only silence.

What was an innocent meeting in the garden had turned into a scandalous event.

When the sound of Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury could no longer be heard, Pen allowed the sting behind her eyes to take over and the gravity of the situation wash over her. The reality of it all hit her like a ton of bricks.

Penelope Featherington was going to be a Bridgerton.

But not because of Colin!

"I am sorry, Miss Featherington." Anthony said quietly, "Your reputation would have suffered greatly if I had not done it."

The thought overwhelmed her and she nearly broke into a fit of tears. Had it not been for her new fiance's present she surely would have run away and locked herself in her room until the world forgot her name.

Notes:

Until tomorrow ;)

Chapter 4: Some Flowers Should Do

Summary:

Whistledown's first article has been published and has folks reeling.

Anthony tries his luck with seeing Edwina but her gatekeeper, Kate, is in no mood to have him enter the house let alone have an audience with her.

His next stop is to the flourist and then the Featherington house. With Benedict as his wingman, what could possibly go wrong?!

Notes:

You guys are amazing! I am so honoured that you all are taking the time to read my fanfic! Thank you for all your guys comments and kudos that means the world to me! I hope you are all enjoying thus far and I can entertain you further with the next chapter!

Also I did some flower meaning research for this chapter and some of the means were wild! Here is the wedsite I used if you were interested in any!

https//flower-meanings-language-flowers

Enjoy my lovelies!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dearest Humble Reader,

It seems that Lady Featherington now has many reasons to rejoice because at the Bridgerton ball she managed to ensnare not just one daughter into marriage, but two. Will wonders never cease? Miss Prudence Featherington is to marry the new Lord Featherington. An unlikely match forged solely by convenience. We shall pray they withstand the fire.

Now when this author tells you that they are gobsmacked to share such unbelievable news, it is indeed the truth–for who would have ever foreseen the tons wallflower, Penelope Featherington, would have managed to ensnare none other than the Rake himself, Lord Anthony Bridgerton. You heard me right, Lord Anthony Bridgerton. If you are asking yourself 'was he not courting the prettier and thinner Edwina Sharma?' then that is only natural. And the answer would, in fact, be yes. Yes, Lord Bridgerton was courting this season's Diamond.

One can only ponder what the citrus-like Miss Featherington did to trap the ton's most eligible bachelor. Why would a Viscount exchange a diamond for a withering wallflower? Perhaps we should leave that up to one's imagination. Or not.

But for those ladies despairing in the unlikely match…This author shall give you hope; For if the unattended wallflower, Miss Penelope Featherington, can snatch up a man like Lord Bridgerton, there is surely hope for the rest of you. What a hopeful thought, indeed.

Yours,

Lady Whistledown.

"My sister is not accepting visitors, my lord." Kate Sharma was staring daggers at him.

Anthony knew that he deserved to be treated unkindly due to the circumstances, but not by her. If anyone had a right to be fuming it was Edwina, the most innocent of them all. Not the sister.

"Please, I must speak with her–"

"The answer is no. Perhaps now that someone doesn't want you, my lord, you will finally know what rejection tastes like." She all but growled at him.

Anthony scoffed sadly. What was stupid beyond belief what that the woman in front of him was whom he wanted, fiery and sassy, Kathani Sharma. His web had spun in many ways and now he was to pay for it.

Anthony felt like a bastard of a man. One accident would taint the rest of his life. If the ton was not only interested in gossip then perhaps they could be persuaded into believing the truth of his and Miss Featherington's encounter. But he knew that the truth would not be received and if they broke off their proposal Penelope would be seen as undesirable.

"Oh Miss Sharma I know the sour taste of rejection," Anthony moved closer to her until they were close enough to touch, "And so do you." He whispered, for her ears alone.

Kate was wide-eyed but soon overflowed with boiling anger.

The fact that he was not expecting it made the pain far worse. The sting on his cheek left a burning handprint as if reminding him of his guilt. When he opened his eyes and looked down at her he did not find any remorse or apology ready to leave her tongue but in fact resentment and grief.

"How dare you?!" She cried out clearly, not caring who heard her. Anthony knew that she was not just talking about his comment but about how he could hurt her sister. Yet he refused to indulge her.

" Dare I what, Miss Sharma?" Anthony tilted his head, to be provocative.

Those dark tendrils that kissed the sides of her face shook when her head shivered in anger.

"Do not play coy with me. How could you do that to my sister?"

She had more than every right to be mad. But on the other hand, she did not, because if more than just Daphne had walked in on them in his office yesterday it would surely be them breaking her sister's heart and not just him.

"Until I have a word with your sister, this conversation is over." Anthony bowed again and moved to leave but she took hold of his hand to stay him.

"No, you do not get to walk away."

Anthon turned around, finding it tremendously hard to stay calm and collected. This woman knew how to press every damn button until he was bursting with anger. He remained calm and collected but inside he was fuming.

"Last time I checked, Miss Sharma, I can do what I please." He said, roughly.

"You proved that at the ball, didn't you, my lord? With her!" She spat in anger.

That stung. It was true. But it was all a misunderstanding! The ton will never know, else they believe Penelope to be undesirable, and there was no possible way he could do that, no matter how tragic the situation was. Eloise would murder him in cold blood if he did.

Eloise.

She was still yet to utter a word to him. The ball had been gone less than a week ago and yet his sister refused to look at him. How brutally this had all gone wrong.

Anthony would condone Kate's snarky comments and rudeness towards himself but if she thought that just because she hated him that she had any right to insult Penelope, then she was very mistaken. Anthony drew closer in a threatening gesture.

" Never use that tone again when referring to Miss Penelope or you will have me to answer to. Do I make myself clear?" He saw the fear slightly flash in her eyes and that was enough to know that his threat had hit its mark. "Now would you please move so I may talk to your sister because I am not having this conversation with you?"

That look on her face was one of hatred.

"You will answer me."

"And you forget to whom you speak, Miss Sharma." Anthony all but growled at her.

Kate looked as though she had been slapped.

"I deserve an explanation," Kate whispered harshly.

"Let me make a few things perfectly clear to you, Miss Sharma, so the water may finally be cleared," His tone was dark and his anger was rising, "You are not even remotely involved in this ordeal so you are owed nothing. I refuse to speak to you about this matter until I have a private audience with Miss Edwina because she is deserving of an explanation…not you. The second thing you will understand is that you are a hypocrite."

She gaped at him in astonishment.

"Yes, how dare I mock thy holy Kathani Sharma?" He mocked, "You accuse me of breaking your sister's heart with another woman and yet you were willing to break it yourself in that office with me at the ball–"

"I never–"

"I know what lust looks like, Miss Sharma, do not coach me on what I know. You were willing to throw caution to the wind and kiss me if my sister had not walked through that door and you know it. How much would it break her heart to know that her sister–"

"Are you threatening me?" Kate asked in agitation

"No, I am holding up a mirror for you. Take a good look and see what you are before you accuse others so callously like you are no better," Kate was frozen, "I have said my peace and will now leave, but know that I will be back every day by eleven sharp until I have a private audience with your sister. Good day."

Anthony bowed with fire in his eyes and turned on his heels to leave. She did not follow him, nor did she stop him and for that he was grateful. Anthony felt like a dreadful human being. He had ruined poor Edwina's chances and he had trapped an innocent woman into marriage–his sister's best friend no less!

Once he entered the carriage he was met with the sight of Benedict smiling sadly. Ben had come as a support for Anthony knowing that his brother needed that extra someone on his side. He also knew that due to the length of his brother's visit, he was not shown to see Edwina.

Benedict felt for all parties in this mess. Poor Edwina Sharma was left a diamond with no suitor. Innocent Penelope was cruelly under the tons spotlight and speculated that Anthony compromised her. Anthony was now marrying a woman he did not love and was seen as the bad guy.

"I take it she did not see you?" Ben asked gently.

"You would be correct," Anthony said as the carriage started moving.

"So…homeward?" Benedict asked, adding some cheer in his voice, hoping to lighten the mood.

Anthony nodded but stayed silent as he looked out the window. His eyes never left the house as it faded in the distance the further they drove. It had such a poetic justice to it that even Ben would be proud, but Anthony could not find it in himself to speak.

Too much was running through his mind. Anthony could not hear a single thing that came from his brother's mouth, all he knew was that Benedict was spouting off anything that came to his head.

"...then I said 'who would use garnet red when her hair is clearly ruby?' but by then–"

Red hair?

"Penelope!" Anthony cried.

Anthony jumped from his chair, not realising that they were still in the carriage and in doing so, hit the top of his head on the roof. Ben was so startled by his brother's outburst that he nearly had a heart attack. Both men were holding a hand to rub the aches they had inflicted.

"What the hell, Ant?!" Ben shouted, with his hand on his chest.

"We need to go to the florist." Ant said, rudding the top of his head to dull the throbbing.

"No offence, but I don't think Miss Edwina is going to have the same reaction you just did because of fl–"

"Not for Miss Edwina. For Miss Featherington." Anthony said.

Ben looked at Ant as if he had gone insane. He burst into uncontrollable laughter while Ant just glared at his younger brother.

"What is so funny?"

"You." Ben said in between wheezing laughter.

"What about me?"

"Y-you…You nearly gave yourself…" He was wiping the tears from his eyes, "Oh, you nearly gave yourself a…concussion for flowers."

Instead of reacting, he merely banged his fist on the roof to get the driver's attention.

"Everything alright, my lord?" The driver asked.

"Yes, but could you take me to the nearest florist? I require a wooing tool." Anthony mumbled the last but Ben could still hear.

"Right you are, sir."

With their new destination en route, they stayed silent.

It only took them a few extra minutes to arrive at the florist. Anthony got out and headed straight for the boutique. Ben was not far behind, but he stopped to…smell the roses. The bell rang to announce his presence in the store making him almost growl.

As soon as he walked further into the room his nostrils were filled with so many different perfumes that his head swam. The fragrances were beautiful but much too overpowering for his taste. When he was courting Seina, he had always sent her flowers but he had never, not once, gone to the florist himself.

The bell rang again and when he turned he saw a grinning Benedict take in the smell.

"Pretty," he said pointing at the red tulips to his right.

Anthony grunted and continued looking.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" the elderly shop owner asked kindly.

"Yes, my brother needs help wooing–ow!" Ben rubbed his shoulder and glared at his brother.

The elderly woman just smiled and walked to stand by the men.

"And what is it that you want to tell this woman, Lord Bridgerton?" she asked.

He knew he had to lie. He also knew that she would have read that damn Whistledown article, about him and his new fiance. Anthony had to pretend to be besotted with Penelope and if that meant buying the whole boutique, then he would do that.

Penelope deserved something happy. Not what the ton threw at her, or what Lady Whistledown wrote about her, or hell what her family says to her face. Penelope was a good kind of girl and by no means deserving of society's cruelty.

"Well, I want it to be happy, kind and l-loving."

Damn you for stuttering! You are playing the lovestruck fool you idiot!

If the woman noticed, she did not say anything. She merely smiled.

"I can do an arrangement?" She offered, "Some honeysuckles, apple blossoms and perhaps red carnations? Or instead of carnations then perhaps some daisies?"

Anthony observed keenly all the flowers she handed him as she listed them off. He took a sniff of each one as she handed them and noticed they all smelt beautiful. One stood out to him that the woman had not pointed out.

"No to daisies but yes to the others. What are these?" He asked. Ben laughed and covered his mouth.

"These are Red Fuchsia." She said, smiling knowingly.

"They smell lovely. Perhaps some of those too."

"As you wish, my lord." the woman held a sly smile, "And what ribbon should I tie them off with, my lord?"

Anthony knew that Pen always wore yellow, but she had heard Eloise tell his mother on many occasions that Penelope hated the colour and hoped to never see it again. Lady Whistledown was sure to blame for that, he thought, knowing all the cruel things that gossip columnist had said about her in those dresses.

He had though seen her in green the day of the shooting. Penelope looked so different and more confident in that dress. Anthony thought she looked much more the woman she was than the child her mother dressed her to be.

"Green shall do nicely. Here you are." Anthony handed the woman her money.

"I know just the green, my lord. I will have it made up for you shortly." The woman was gone in a flash with the money in hand and a smirk on her face.

Ben waited until she left to laugh. Anthony was beyond puzzled.

"What is so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," Ben said, turning about the room, all while his shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. Anthony felt like he was the butt of some joke that he was unaware of and it vexed him greatly.

The florist was right when she said she would be finished shortly. She came out with a beautiful arrangement that smelt truly divine. The splash of colours made for a splendid bouquet. Anthony smiled and nodded towards the woman.

"These shall do perfectly. Thank you." Anthony took the bouquet and bowed to the woman.

Ben nodded and left with Ant. He ignored the onlookers and entered the carriage with number Five as his destination. The sweet perfume of the flowers filled the carriage and Anthony tried to fight the urge to sneeze at one point.

The carriage rolled to a stop and Anthony felt his heart stop too. He and Pen had not spoken privately since the night after the ball and she had not looked him in the eye since they were alone in the maze together. His heart was hammering in his chest but he forced a brave face and stepped out of the carriage.

Ben followed.

"Shall I come too?"

"Yes, you can be a chaperon."

Ben did not say how likely it was that he would be admitted into the house, and Anthony was grateful for it. They walked across the street and waited at the door. Ben held his tongue while Anthony worked up the courage to knock.

After two whole minutes, Ben sighed and knocked. Ant sent him a glare and Ben just shrugged.

In a strange turn of events, the woman of the hour opened the door. Calming blue eyes widened twice the size and Penelope was frozen, pale-faced and her mouth parted slightly. Anthony felt all his courage leave him at that moment.

"Miss Feathington, how good to see you," Ben said first, kicking his brother in the shin, prompting him to say something–anything.

"Miss Featherington, may we come in?" Anthony asked.

"I…you–"

"Prudence, hurry up or we will be late to the modeist! Why must you–My lord! How marvellous to see you," Anthony cringed when he heard Portia Featherington. It was even worse when she came to the door. The grin on her face was purely scheming. She turned to her daughter, who was still stuck looking between her mother and her fiance and sighed in exasperation. "Oh Penelope, why have you left our guest outside in the cold?"

Penelope's voice was stuck in her throat. Portia rolled her eyes and turned back to them smiling.

"Forgive her, my lords, she has not been well you see. Please come in."

There was no going back now. Ben hid a smirk and entered with a small bow to both ladies. Anthony followed and bowed to Portia, flowers still in hand. Anthony glanced at Pen who dropped her gaze instantly.

"Not that I am not pleased with your presence, my lords, but I was just about to take Prudence for a fitting, you see but Penelope would be more than happy to entertain you both. Won't you, my dear?" Portia smiled down at her daughter, a clear warning. Lady Featherington looked down at the flowers and clapped her hands happily. "Oh, what a lovely arrangement. I have no doubt they are for Penelope–"

"Mama!" Pen was bright red with embarrassment.

"Yes, you are correct. These are for you, Miss Featherington." Anthony drew forward and handed her the flowers. He could not place why he was so nervous to see if she liked them.

Penelope was wide-eyed and hesitant to take them, thinking they would be snatched from her. Or perhaps have Cressida come out and laugh in her face, telling her it was all some sort of prank. No one had ever given her flowers before.

"Th-thank you, my lord." Pen finally took them and smiled at him.

Anthony let out a sigh of relief.

"Why does she get flowers?" Prudence came into the room, arms crossed in jealousy.

"Because she is to be married to Lord Bridgeton." Portia hissed.

"Well I am getting married and I have yet to–"

"Enough, Prudence." Portia groaned angrily.

"Ah, yes, congratulations on the upcoming marriage, Miss Featherington," Ben said, "I am sure that you two will make a fine couple. It seems as though love is in the air this season."

Awkward laughter filled the room.

"I am sure you will find a happy match this season, Lord Bridgerton." Portia smiled but Ben went white and Penelope let out a laugh that she tried to disguise as a cough. Anthony smiled wickedly at his brother who gulped audibly.

"There is still time for me yet." He chuckled nervously.

"Of course. Now if you would please excuse us, my lords. We are off."

They bid their goodbyes and were on their way, with much relief from all who remained. The sound of the carriage leaving the street made them all sigh before silence washed over them. Anthony soon felt the awkwardness and looked to Ben for help but his brother merely smirked and nodded his head towards Pen who had not taken her eyes off the bouquet in her hands.

"Help." Anthony mouthed to Ben.

"Say something." Ben mouthed back.

"I don't know what to say." Anthony mouthed in agitation.

Ben made a smug face and nodded as if telling his brother to leave it to him. Without taking his eyes off his brother he spoke, loud enough to break the redheaded woman from her trance.

"Miss Featherington." He said.

Pen jumped and looked at Ben. Benedict looked at her with all forms of sincerity.

"Forgive me but I forgot that I have an urgent appointment elsewhere and so must be off."

Both Pen and Ant looked at him wide-eyed.

"I know that is so very rude of me but I only just remembered–"

"What is this urgent appointment, brother?" Anthony gritted out.

"A meeting with the art school. It is three, brother, and I cannot be late"

"I thought that was tomorrow?" Anthony gave his brother a death glare.

"Nope, they rescheduled, at the very last minute." Ben was all innocent, "I should be off before I'm late. And, Miss Featherington, make sure you hit him if he is out of hand–ow! Now you must stop hitting me, brother. "

Pen laughed.

Before they both realised it, Ben was out the door. Anthony swore he was going to kill him when he saw Ben next. Anthony turned back to Penelope and saw that she was still on edge.

"Forgive me–"

"Would you–"

They both said at the same time. Pen laughed nervously.

"Would you like some tea, my lord?"

"I want to talk with you, Penelope."

Wooing and then interrogation not the other way around, idiot!

Pen looked stunned.

"I see. And what would you like to talk about? The weather? Books? Or perhaps the upcoming balls–"

"I was thinking more of our upcoming marriage," Anthony said stone-faced.

Penelope gulped.

"Of course. What about…that…should you like to talk about–?"

"For heaven's sake, Penelope, we are to be man and wife!" Anthony was shouting and he knew it was wrong but the elephant in the room needed to be addressed, "Do you understand that? You are to be Viscountess Bridgerton! You are going to bear our sons and daughters in your womb! We are going to walk hand and hand through life together as husband and wife and all you can do now is joke?!"

Shut up!

Tears welled in Penelope's eyes. Anthony ran a hand over his face hoping to calm his anger.

"This here, what's happening right now, is reality. Not some fantasy in your books."

Anthony wished he could take those words back. By hell did he wish he could take them back.

"My..my books? Is that all you think I do?" Pen asked, ignoring the tears falling down her cheeks.

"Miss Feath–"

"You think all I do is read, do embroidery, and gossip about available gentlemen, is that it?" Pen looked devastated and yet angry at the same time. It was a look he never thought he would see on the sweet and ever-smiling Penelope Featherington. "Studying flowers and dreaming of a handsome Bridgerton making me his wife?"

"I was out of line–"

"Yes, yes you were." Pen said, hurt lacing her voice. "I know what has happened. I am more attuned to this vile and cruel world than you think, Lord Bridgerton. The ton now believes that you have ruined me and now we must marry. This mess we have found ourselves in is not ideal for either of us, but do not treat me like a simpleton just because I am a woman or just because I am your junior. I have a brain and am more than capable of using it."

Anthony had never had more of an urge to kiss anyone in his entire life.

My god man, pull yourself together .

"Forgive me, Miss Featherington, that was rude and completely ungentlemanly of me."

Penelope scoffed humorously. Anthony frowned and was about to say something he regretted before she spoke.

"I think we are past that now. If these flowers are any indication." Pen gestured to the flowers he had gifted her, now in a vase on a beautifully crafted tea table.

Anthony frowned.

"Is there something wrong with them?" He asked, confused.

"No, they are beautiful, but I nearly fainted when my mother saw them." Pen chuckled again, wiping away her tears with her hanky.

"I do not understand."

I thought she would be pleased–

"My lord, do you know what these flowers mean?" Pen asked, another laugh hidden behind an amused gaze.

"The meaning?"

Of course, he knew that flowers had meanings, every woman and man knew that. But he had never studied them religiously like Daphne, Colin, Ben–or even Gregory of late. The youngest Bridgerton boy. He was growing into a hopeless romantic and it made Anthony smile with wistful memories of the past.

Anthony only knew the meaning of three flowers.

The red rose was a symbol of love and passion. The white orchids meant I'm Sorry–a flower he often gave Siena to beg her forgiveness. And the hyacinth flower was a symbol of sport, game and play–the perfect flower to sum up his youngest sister who was dedicated to its namesake.

"Of course I do." He lied.

Penelope started walking to the drawing room closest to the hall and looked over her shoulder as if inviting him to come too. She diceded to call him out on his lie.

"Ah, so then you know that you just told me that you have devoted affection for me , that you prefer me to all , and your heart aches for me ?" Pen asked too innocently, "Oh, and that you like my taste ?"

Anthony felt his jaw drop to the floor and he stopped in his tracks though now fully in the drawing room. Penelope couldn't stop her laughing. Anthony had gone bright red. And to think that her mother had seen those flowers knowing full well what they meant.

I am going to murder Benedict Bridgerton when I see him next! That bastard let me buy those flowers knowing that he would make a fool of himself! Ugh, that man is going to die at dawn–

"Though, if anything good has come from it, is that they smell divine and now when I have callers that will see my handsome fiance loves me." Pen chuckled then sombre slightly, "We will have to keep up appearances in front of the ton, my lord. They must think we are in love if we are to save our reputations before we are wed."

Anthony knew exactly what she meant and agreed.

"Of course. Though they probably shouldn't find out that affection through some scandalous flowers." He blushed again. "However I am curious."

Pen turned to him with her brows raised.

"Curious about what, my lord?"

"About how you taste."

Notes:

Until tomorrow ;)

Chapter 5: I Think Colin Knows

Summary:

Pen wishes for a kiss but instead gets a fiance with a bruised eye.

...

i.e I think Colin knows what happened

Notes:

You all make it so much easier to want to keep writing! Thank you for all your super supportive comments and kudos! My heart is bursting with thanksgiving and I love you all so much! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

Just a warning...the F word is used in this chapter just in case that bothers some people ;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Curious about what, my lord?"

"About how you taste."

Penelope was smiling up until that point. She felt hot all over and she knew that her cheeks were a dark shade of beetroot red, a colour her mother said did not suit her in the slightest. If she had not been holding her breath, she surely would have squeaked.

Portia hated when Pen squeaked. Pen couldn't help it. It was a natural instinct when she was embarrassed or nervous. Portia said she sounded like a mouse who had been caught by a cat and it was so very unladylike.

The way Anthony was looking at her made her feel like a mouse–more specifically, like prey.

"I beg your p-pardon?" She breathed.

Anthony shook his head as if clearing it. When he looked back at her his eyes were back to normal. When he had told her of his curiosity his eyes seemed to darken into something deep and lustful. But Pen knew that was impossible. No one would ever lust after her. Someone lusting after her was just as likely as Colin being in love with her. It was out of the question.

"Forgive me–I misspoke."

"Kiss me." Pen breathed.

What on earth?! Where did that come from, Penelope Anne Featherington?!

"I beg your pardon?" It was his turn to blanch.

"Kiss me." She repeated. "I have never been kissed, you see–"

"I certainly hope not." Anthony interrupted but Pen continued.

"And well I…well I have always wondered what it would be like to kiss someone. I know it is silly and we are to be wed so it is only natural that we would," She stopped and looked at him embarrassed, "of course that is assuming you wish that–not to presume that you…what I mean is that–"

Before she could go any further into her rambling session, the sound of Lord Featherington and a group of loud men came bustling through the door.

"...To which I replied 'Her? She is a halfwit and a witc–' Bridgerton!" The voice of Cousin Jack filled the room along with the laughter of two elderly gentlemen, around the same age as the baron. Wait…one of them was the baron.

Penelope felt ill.

Anthony had not taken his gaze off of Pen.

"Good to see you." Cousin Jack said, "Should you like to join us? We were just off to–"

"No, I was just leaving." Anthony turned to Cousin Jack.

Penelope's heart nearly stopped when her gaze met the baron's. The very same who her mother was trying to force her into an entanglement with. Dread filled her and the very thought of Anthony leaving her in a house with him and other creepy old men. She knew that Lord Featherington was not so very loose on his morals that he would allow her harm…but he was not altogether observant.

"What a shame. Maybe next time." The baron feigned upset. A sly smirk tweaked his thin lips before his eyes looked over her figure hungrily.

His voice alone made her skin crawl. Penelope had no desire for the baron and her to be in the same house together let alone the same room. Not with his wandering eyes and lingering gaze.

"I shall walk you out." Pen rushed to say.

"Quite unnecessary," Anthony said, already halfway out of the drawing room.

"I insist. Good-day gentleman." Pen curtsied clumsily and rushed after her fiance. Anthony had a headstart on her but she managed to catch up to him, "Lord Bridgerton–"

"Come for tea tomorrow, I fear you are the only one who can make her see reason." Anthony interrupted. Pen knew exactly who he meant.

"I-I have tried to call but she had not seen me–"

"Then try again." He gritted.

Tears pricked her eyes at his tone. Her courage had backfired completely.

"Yes, my lord." She whispered, eyes downcast.

Anthony groaned and swung the door open and practically ran into the streets. He did not make it three steps before his name was shouted across the street. Her eyes turned to the voice and she felt the blood drain from her when she saw Colin Bridgerton.

The love of her life held the latest Whistledown pamphlet in his hands and a deadly look in his green eyes. Penelope had never seen Colin like this before and it scared her.

"Anthony!" Colin came barreling down the stairs. The whole street had gone completely silent. Colin stopped right in front of his older brother before slapping him across his already stinging cheek.

Gasps from the crowd and even a scream from one lady. Ben ran to his brothers but not in time before Colin landed a nose-breaking punch to his face. Anthony's knees buckled and he fell to the gravel floor below.

"Colin Bridgerton!" Violet screamed his name but he did not listen.

Ben finally took hold of his brother but it took Lord Featherington, who had come to enjoy the fuss that had formed outside his house, to finally drag him away from Anthony. Colin was fuming and cursing Anthony's name.

"Brother, what has gotten into you?!" Benedict was huffing with exertion after trying to restrain his younger brother

"Anyone! You could have seduced anyone at the whole damn ball! Why in the damn pits of hell did it have to be Penelope Featherington !!" Colin Bridgerton's voice carried over the whole street burying its contents in every lady and gentleman's ears who had stopped to stare.

Penelope felt faint. Colin would never have just said that out loud for half of London to hear. Anthony was still on his hands and knees, clearly trying not to be sick on the floor. Pen didn't know what to do. Now they all knew.

Murmurs broke out amongst the crowd and Pen wanted the ground to swallow her whole. Nothing could save her from this embarrassment. Yes, people would have speculated from the Whistledown alone but now everyone thought that Anthony had taken her virtue.

Before she knew what she was doing she had run over to the fighting gentleman. Pen reached the men and got down on her knees in front of Anthony. Turning to Colin she said in a clear voice.

"Contain yourself, Mr Bridgerton."

Colin's face dropped.

Penelope turned to Anthony and saw that his face was also red. She winced for him when she ran her fingers over it to inspect it. Their eyes locked again.

When his serin gaze had locked on hers mere moments ago, she had felt as though he had pierced through her soul and seen her, not for what she showed others, but for whom she truly was on the inside. It scared her so very much that she wanted to look away. But it also made her feel seen, not as Lady Whistledown, but as Penelope Featherington.

"We should get you inside." Pen whispered.

"Yes." That was all he said.

Penelope grabbed his hand and helped him off the ground. Anthony swayed slightly once he was on his feet, but was quick to regain his footing. Instead of walking off silently, he addressed the stunned crowd.

"My apologies for the show, everyone, it shall not happen again," Anthony merely smiled but did not look at his younger brother who was just as angry as before, "If you will all excuse me. Love, will you join me?"

Pen nodded and walked with him to the house. Penelope half expected him to let go of her hand when he walked inside but he did no such thing. Anthony gripped her arm tighter, bidding her to walk with him. The crowd started talking while carriages continued to move around them.

The two of them remained silent. Benedict was close on their heels when they entered the house accompanied by Colin. Penelope looked at Anthony but he was busy staring at his younger brother, Colin.

"My office, now," Anthony growled.

"Sure you cannot be parted from your beloved ?"

Penelope gasped and Benedict glared at his brother.

"I am sure I can manage." Anthony winked at Pen just to make Colin angrier but it made her heart burst and her cheeks darken, and it also had its desired effect on Colin. Anthony turned back to his brother and pointed to his office.

Colin looked at Penelope with betrayal in his green eyes.

Why couldn't you have been there?

Penelope's heart broke at the sight. How badly she wanted him, but she could never have him. He would forever be out of reach. Colin had never felt more out of her grasp even though he was three paces away from her.

If Marina had not taken him from her perhaps Colin would be hers. If he hadn't gone to see her yesterday perhaps it would have been him in the garden and not his brother. Colin could have saved her from Lord Huthling, the ape of a man.

Penelope was broken from her trance when a cold hand took hold of her own. She jerked to see who it was and found she was looking up at her fiance.

"Wait for me?"

"As you wish, my lord." Pen said with a nervous smile.

Her heart nearly collapsed when his soft lips brushed over the back of her hand. When he let her hand go he gestured for Ben to join him.

Lady Violet rushed into the corridor, guns blazing with her children hot on her heels.

"Where are they?" She looked around angrily for her sons.

Anthony had been slapped many times before–he had three brothers for one, and he went to college for another. But just because he had been slapped time and time again, did not mean that it hurt any less when the sting washed over his cheek.

"What was that?" Anthony shouted, "You just sealed her fate, do you know that? The whole street heard you, damn it!"

Colin Bridgerton was the third in the line of the Bridgerton family, also signifying C. From A to H the family was a rowdy bunch and there was never a dull moment. But out of all the eight children, Colin was the most level-headed and calm of them all. Seeing him full of rage was a sight Anthony never thought he would see.

"You already had another! Damn you!" Colin shouted before backing away to slam his fist on Anthony's gleaming office desk. The eldest was grateful that Colin punched the desk and not his face, which he was certain Colin wished to do. "Damn you, Anthony!"

Anthony looked upon his brother with a fit of newfound anger. Benedict remained the quiet mediator, the one who was going to tear them off of each other if need be, but, for now, he sat drinking his brother's best whiskey.

"Colin, will you–"

"Why, Ant?! Why would you compromise her?! She is innocent, god damn it!"

"I didn't–"

"Don't fucking lie to me!" Colin shouted, slamming his fist on the desk again.

Anthony was surprised by his brother. Not only was Colin level-headed, he rarely ever swore. When Anthony looked at Ben he saw that his younger brother was just as surprised.

"You want to shout and scream and throw a punch? Fine," Ant sat down in his chair and opened his hands as if welcoming him, "The floor is yours."

Colin looked more pissed than ever.

"I know you, brother, and I know what you do for pleasure so forgive me if I don't think the best of your sudden engagement to an innocent woman! But whether you did it or not her reputation is smeared. You have never paid her any heed until now! You do not care for her as Eloise does, or as Mother does or as I…" Colin shook his head angrily, "God, Ant she is my friend! She is practically El's other half–how could you compromise–ugh I…"

He clutched his head as if in agony.

"You do not love her," Colin whispered, his voice breaking with emotion.

Soon his anger petered out and Colin stumbled back until his back hit the shelf. Throwing his head in his hands he took a few rough breaths to calm his rapidly beating heart. Anthony could see the inner turmoil inside him, Ben saw it too.

Colin looked up at his brother with tears glazing his eyes. All agitation for his younger brother evaporated with that one look. Anthony knew that look. Defeat buttered with pain and agony.

"You hurt someone, you ruined someone that I care about, Anthony, and for that, I will never forgive you. I cannot change what you did, I cannot fix the mess you have made nor can I go back and magically appear at that ball," Colin said in a clear voice. He looked numb with only the glistening of his eyes to show his hurt and betrayal. "But know that if you hurt her in any way …you will pay with your life."

Ant rose from his chair and embraced his younger brother. Colin stood stiff as Anthony tightened his grip. As his older brother, he wished he could take away Colin's pain and heartache, but he knew that nothing ever could. The ton was not forgiving and now speculated–now more than ever, that Ant had taken Pen's virtue. Poor Penelope.

"Please do not hate me. I…I cannot live with that." Anthony whispered.

Colin sucked in a breath. Anthony could tell his brother was fighting back his tears.

"Just because I don't forgive you doesn't mean I hate you. I could never–no matter how hard I tried." Colin wrapped his arms around his brother. Anthony felt his tears prick the backs of his eyes.

Anthony loved his family so dearly. After Edmund Bridgerton had passed, he took on the role of caring for all his siblings, running the home and its finances, along with caring for his mother who was stricken with grief.

That responsibility was thrust on his shoulders before he was ready and turned him into the gruff and stiff man he was today–but no matter how hard life got on the outside, he always had time to love his family. No one took their place. His family was his heart and without them, he could not survive.

Even with one member missing, his heart did not beat properly. That is why when Colin would come back from his travels he felt whole again. Or when they were all united for a light game of Pall Mall, that was when he was most happy because they were all together.

"Colin Bridgerton, what have you done?!" Violet Bridgerton came bursting through the room with the door wide open revealing a pale-faced Pennelope who had been dragged along by their mother.

All three boys were now on their feet looking at their mother with guilty expressions. Though Ben had no idea why he felt guilty when he had done nothing wrong…well not in this scenario anyway.

"Mother, can we have–" Ant started but his mother's piercing gaze cut his sentence short.

"What do you think you were doing? You all but ruined her in front of the entire street! Lady Whistledown will surely hear of this and write about them in her next column!"

Anthony was afraid for his brother. Their mother was a passionate woman who loved greatly, but she also had quite a temper on her when someone hurt the people she loved. Penelope was not a Bridgerton yet but Violet had always loved her as if she was her own.

Even though the upcoming marriage was rather scandalous and shocking, to say the least, Violet was over the moon excited that Penelope was going to finally be her daughter. Penelope had to admit that she too was excited to have a mother who cared for her.

"Mother, I am sorry–" Colin started, looking at his feet.

"You should be apologising to them, not me!"

Colin looked at Penelope, and Anthony felt a surge of jealousy. Anthony felt like he was watching a private moment between two lovers and it made him queasy. He thought back to less than an hour ago when she had asked him to kiss her. Such backbone and spunk had blood rushing to other areas.

Ant had never been so mad at a woman before in his life. Kate Sharma was a different story. She vexed him to no end, mostly because he could not have her–but this…this was different. Penelope did not realise how desirable she truly was.

Penelope had assumed it was some wretched burden for him to kiss her, but indeed it was quite the opposite. To say he had not had the wind knocked out of him by such a question from such a shy woman would be a lie–it was nearly his undoing as a gentleman. He was so worried that he would do what the ton was already accusing him of, that he needed to leave. He knew that he had come across aggressive and rude but…he would not take advantage of her.

Now, here he was, observing a stare-off between his brother and fiance.

Anthony cleared his throat loudly, prompting his brother to say anything at all that would make Colin stop looking at Pen like he wanted to eat her.

"Forgive me, Miss Featherington." Colin swallowed before bowing his head.

"Th-thank you, Col–Mr Bridgerton." Pen stuttered, "You are forgiven. It is not as if my image was not already tainted."

Anthony cringed and Colin clenched his jaw.

"It should not have been." He growled, "And I am not ashamed of punching my brother, which he knows, but I am only sorry that I didn't do it in the privacy of our home and not on the streets for the world to hear."

Pen's mouth hung open.

"B-but why–"

"Because he compromised you, Penelope!" Colin shouted again, "You are my friend and I would protect you from anything– anyone ." His last words were clearly aimed at Anthony.

When Colin moved to take a step closer to Penelope, Ben gripped his arm to stop him.

"Lower your voice, Colin–" Violet scolded.

"Your brother did not compromise me." Pen whispered, "I was hiding from a gentleman in the gardens. He was making advances–"

"You didn't tell me this," Anthony said, drawing closer to her. He felt Colin stiffen by his side but he ignored it. Penelope looked up at him and shrugged with tears in her eyes. The memory of the creepy baron did nothing but make her squirm.

"The Baron Huthling–"

"He has a loose pocket–"

"Benedict!" Violet turned to her second son who held up his hands in surrender.

"Well the baron had made me feel rather uncomfortable with his…special gaze," Penelope blushed and looked at Violet who looked mortified for her soon-to-be daughter. Pen did not dare look at the men for she knew she would see a storm in their eyes, "Well, Benedict rescued me from one dance but as soon as he left I was there to face my mother and her…tactics. Once I saw him I knew that I needed to escape."

Anthony was filled with rage. He did not know the baron personally but he knew that he wanted to snap the older man's neck for what he assumed happened next.

"He tried to take me to the terrace but I refused and left angrily. I ran to the gardens stricken that he was the only man who had taken interest in me. Anth–Lord Bridgerton, that is," She flushed and looked to Ant then back to Colin, "He found me in the garden. I was clumsy and hurt myself. He inspected for infection and treated my injury but before we could…detangle…"

Ant blushed at that.

"We were found. You see, Lord Bridgerton was the perfect gentleman, Colin. Please know that if anyone is to blame then it is me–"

"Don't ever say that again, Penelope." Anthony interrupted tartly.

"It is the truth." She whispered.

"Don't test my patience," Anthony growled.

They just stared at one another and he saw that flame return in her eyes. That was until she blushed deep red and looked anywhere but his face. He almost felt a twinge of pride from that reaction, had it not been for his mother glaring at him to behave.

"Forgive me, brother, for thinking ill of your character." Colin finally spoke.

"Thank you, brother. I wouldn't have believed me either."

"With that settled, I think we should pop the champagne in honour of the happy couple–ow! Really brother?!" Ben rubbed his shoulder wincing, "If you are going to punch me, could you hit the other side? This one is already bruised–ow! Not now!!"

Violet tried to hide her amusement behind a glare while Pen couldn't hold back her laughter.

"No champagne yet. I just received the special licence I filed, so that gives us about a week's time. Mother may I leave the planning to you and–"

"Please not my mother!" Pen cried out suddenly. She blushed when they all blinked at her, "Forgive me. I just could not bear wearing a yellow wedding dress and I know for a fact Mother would paint the whole church yellow if she had her way."

They all laughed and Violet rubbed her shoulder soothingly.

"Unfortunately we cannot avoid having your mother make plans but I will be there to make sure that your wishes are met and that the day will be just as you imagined."

"As I imagined…" Pen's eyes wandered to Colin before quickly falling to Anthony.

"Now while he is securing the licence let us go and tell your mother that you will be staying the night here to discuss wedding dates and plans. I can be very persuasive." Violet led Pen out of the room. Pen only had a chance to look back once and Anthony was happy that her eyes landed on him with a nervous smile.

Anthony turned back to Colin who was halfway out the door of his office.

"Colin?"

Colin turned around to face his brother.

"I promise to look after her."

"Your life depends on it, Anthony," Colin said, not a trace of a lie to be found.

Notes:

Until tomorrow my lovelies! ;)

Chapter 6: Time to Talk

Summary:

Pen and Eloise finally talk.

And talk of who where Penelope will stay when she and Anthony marry!

Notes:

You guys are the best! Here is your latest chapter! I hope you all enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Violet Bridgerton was a saint. Mother was easily convinced after Violet told her that she would surely have her hands full with Prudence's wedding, that helping Pen was no chore. Portia took advantage of playing the exhausted mama, and Violet simply patted her hand and thanked her.

Once in the home Pen felt a wash of nerves and relief. Pen was yet to see her best friend and it was eating her inside. She was not lying when she said that she had called every day to try to see her friend, she also wasn't lying when she said that El refused to see her.

Pen knew that it was selfish but she wanted someone to cry to. She couldn't talk to her fiance, her mother, her sisters, she couldn't talk to Colin and as kind, as Violet was she couldn't talk to her about her fears. Eloise would understand it all.

"She's on the swing." A voice said behind her. Penelope turned to see Ben with his sketchbook and pencils in hand nodding towards the door.

Penelope stood on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek. She was so grateful. "Thank you, Benedict!"

Before anyone could stop her she raced out the door, but not before she saw Ben's red cheeks and a smug smile. The whole way she was racking her brain for what she was going to say. Eloise would listen to the truth, but she would go ballistic if she found out about Pen's thought process.

The garden was crisp and blooming. Eloise always admired the gardens, she would always explain the growth of flowers to Pen with such detail and fascination that Pen would smile fondly. Pen and El, whenever they wanted to escape, would run away to the gardens. It hid them from the bustle and hustle of the world, it kept them safe in a way.

Now El was hiding from her and that hurt more than she cared to admit.

"Ben told you, didn't he?" Eloise said, her back still turned as she sat unmoving on the swing.

Penelope took a deep breath and walked the rest of the way to her friend.

"He did." Pen whispered, "May I sit?"

El just shrugged. Penelope sat on the other swing before her friend could change her mind. They sat in silence, Eloise looking off into the distance while Pen looked down at her shaking hands. It was a rather poetic picture really. Eloise would always be looking to the future, the world she was going to brave whether or not society allowed her to. Whereas Pen looked down at her hands, the very same hands that she wrote with, the hands that inked words people listened to.

"Eloise, how are you?" Pen asked in a quiet tone.

A bitter scoff came out.

"How am I?" Eloise finally turned to Pen and she wished those eyes were not filled with angry tears, "Well I am just swell, thanks for asking. How are you?"

The sarcasm was not lost on her.

"I miss my friend." Penelope whispered.

"Well my friend has been lying to me for god knows how long about her secret relationship with my brother. So…we can't all be satisfied, can we?"

"El, I know you are–"

"You know nothing, Pen, so do not patronise me." Eloise rose angrily from the swing and turned to leave but Pen caught her hand.

Never in her life had she been so close to falling into a million pieces than when Eloise snatched her hand away and looked at her like she was a stranger. A dagger to her already broken heart.

"We were going to be spinsters together–grow old together…just the two of us, facing the world. Was it all a lie? Or just your promises?"

"Would you please let me explain–"

"Explain what? How you lied to me? When the deception started? Or perhaps you wish to explain when exactly you fell in love with my brother–" El remarked venomously.

Penelope wanted to crawl into a ball and cry. But she also wanted her friend.

"I am not in love with Anthony, El," Pen announced.

Again there was silence.

"You…you're not?" El looked even angrier.

"He was saving my reputation–"

"So you trapped my brother into a marriage with yourself to save your family from poverty?"

Penelope gasped. She had told El in confidence that her family was barely hanging on by a thread. She was yet to tell her what she had suspected about Cousin Jack, but that was beside the point. El had struck deep.

"Penelope, you went into that garden knowing he would follow, didn't you? Didn't you?!" El took a step closer and Pen backed up. She knew she had nothing to hide, but it frightened her.

Eloise had never looked at her like that before.

"No, you don't–"

"You knew he'd follow because he is a gentleman. And what gentleman lets a woman run off into the gardens alone, unchaperoned? Then when he came, you struck with some fainting spell or whatever it was that had him on his knees–"

"El, please listen–"

"You knew your mother would come to mama and me to search for you. You also knew that I would suggest the gardens because that is where you go when you want to escape," Eloise took another step forward and Pen tripped slightly when she moved back.

"El, you're hurting my feelings." Pen whimpered

"And the icing on the cake is that your mother–a meddlesome cow of a woman–would have forced my brother to marry her shrew of a daughter even if he hadn't stepped up to start with." Penelope drew back as if she had been struck.

Penelope was not close with her mother, not by any means. Her mother was indeed cruel and meddlesome, but she was her mother no less. But what hurt most was that Eloise, her best friend since forever, thought she was so horrible that she would scheme and plot to trap her brother into a marriage.

Eloise drew closer until she was but an arm's length away.

"Pen, you are despicable."

With that final blow to the gut, Pen was left in the gardens alone.

Crickets chirped around her, frogs croaked and the sun began to set with the most stunning colours to paint the afternoon sky. The wind caressed her cheeks and reminded her that she was still alive and her heart was still beating.

Penelope now, more than ever, wanted to run away to Ireland, take her Lady Whistledown money and start a new life. A life where no one knew her, no one knew her family or her ties to society–she was simple and plain Pen.

By the time she came to, she realised that she was once again inside, seated in the drawing room, Violet Bridgerton looking at her expectantly. Pen was quick to apologise.

"Forgive me." Pen blushed, "My mind was elsewhere. You were saying?"

"Of course, my dear. I was merely inquiring as to wedding preparations that are to be made. I know that you and my son will be too moon-eyed to care about such small details as the table settings but as your future mother, I was–"

"Anything but yellow." Penelope smiled, avoiding looking at Eloise on the other side of the room. Pen knew she was there against her will, seeing as Violet wanted her to be part of the plans.

Violet smiled knowingly before Daphne chimed in.

"I think blue is just your colour–or even an elegant green." And so Penelope was drowning in wedding knowledge.

Without her knowing, they had picked a date, the church, the dress, the colours, the flowers and the honeymoon destination. Penelope felt as though her head would explode with all of this. Half of the things they mentioned she had not two wits about, and the other half scared the daylights out of her.

Honeymoon!

Portia was very secretive about marital relations, as any respectable lady should be with their children. No young lady should know what goes on in the marriage bed, or that is what mama said. When Marina arrived pregnant, and yet unmarried, Penelope was baffled.

She thought that only a married woman could be with a child. Clearly, she had been wrong. When she had investigated the fact, she came up empty with the only information from Marina telling her that a child was made from love.

That could not be true. Because Penelope had been in love with Colin for years now and she was not with child.

Now they all spoke of a month-long honeymoon and Penelope felt ill to the gills. The thought scared her and frankly, she thought that Anthony would not want her anyway. Pen knew the kind of women he enjoyed bedding and none of them was as…shapely as her. All thin, beautiful singers who were sensual and knew how to draw a man to themselves. Pen only knew how to shoo men away.

"Greece is so very lovely this time of–"

"I have always wanted to travel to Greece." Pen supplied helpfully. She knew she had to say something.

"I am sure Anthony would be open to the idea–"

"Anthony would be open to what, mother?"

The man of the hour.

Penelope blushed and wanted to hide at the sight of her fiance. The memeory of Anthony furious with her about her askign him to kiss her, fresh in her mind. Penelope was so very hurt and mortified by his reaction and she wished that she could unsay it. Life was not so very kind in that sense.

"What do you think of Greece as a honeymoon destination?" Lady Violet turned in her chair to see her son who was only a few paces in the room.

Anthony turned to Penelope whose eyes were downcast in embarrassment.

"I should be pleased to go wherever Penelope wishes to go," Anthony replied. Penelope finally met his chocolate gaze and found that she needed to explain.

"Colin shared so many grand stories of Greece, you see, and I should very much like to visit at least once in my life–but if you should not like–"

"Greece it is," Anthony said with a fleeting smile.

Seconds later, a servant entered the room announcing dinner. All heads turned to the door and hastened to reach the dining room. Colin shoved Gregory playfully to hurry out the door and they all laughed. Ben was hot on their heels, his stomach grumbling the whole way.

Eloise hurried past Penelope before any words could be said. Fran held onto her mother while Daphne and Violet chatted about how Auggie was growing and how Simon was faring. The sight of them all happily exiting the room for dinner put a smile on Pen's face.

The smile vanished quickly when she was left with Lord Bridgerton who had waited for her. His arm was outstretched to lead her to the dining room. Pen looked up at him, down at his arm and then back up at him again.

"Take it." Anthony said emotionlessly, "My arm, take it."

"Ah, of course." Pen stuttered and took it hastily.

They walked in silence. Once in the dining room, Anthony pulled out her chair for her to sit and while he stood over her she thought she heard him growl and curse himself. He seated himself at the head of the table, which happened to be to her right. Shaking her head she pinned on her smile and tucked into the meal once Ant nodded for them to eat.

The conversation was lively with Gregory teasing Hyacinth, and Eloise making faces at Ben all while Violet, Daphne, Fran and even Colin engaged in the season's balls–though Colin was mostly just listening so he did not have to join the other's conversation. Then out of nowhere, Hyacinth turns to Pen and started her rounds of questioning.

"Pen?"

"Yes?" Penelope smiled.

"Will you be moving in here with us?" Hy asked, genuinely curious. The room silenced.

"Um…well…" She turned to Anthony who remained impassive.

"Yes, Penelope will move here," Anthony answered.

"You can sleep in my room with me!" Hy suddenly got so excited and nearly jumped out of her seat.

Pen was overjoyed that at least someone was happy about this arrangement.

"That is very kind of you, Hyacinth," Penelope said.

"Pen will be sleeping with me," Anthony said, taking a sip of his wine.

Benedict choked on his wine and Colin patted him on the back harshly. Pen felt hot and cold, and then hot again. By the time Ben had stopped his coughing fit, Violet interjected, stopping her daughters, who were all very curious, from asking questions.

"I am sure Penelope and your brother would much rather have the master bedroom when we are gone," Violet said, cutting into her lamb.

Penelope was stunned.

"Gone? Where are we going?" Greg asked, halting his dinner.

"Well, I am sure your brother and Penelope would much rather prefer having the house to themselves. They do not need to look after us now. They will have children of their own soon." Violet explained to her younger children.

"Surely you will not all have to leave…" Pen said, then turned to Anthony with a sad expression, "We will not kick them out, right? This is their home, if anything I am the one invading it. That should not be their fault."

She completely abandoned her dinner and gripped his hand that was closest to her with both of hers. The look in her eyes was surely desperate and she saw his dark eyes soften.

"Can they stay? I would feel horrible for kicking them out."

Anthony turned to his family. He saw his siblings all looking at him expectantly with Hy and Greg begging with their eyes. Turning back to Pen he gave his answer.

"Of course, you can all stay. I should not have it any other way." Ant was quick to add, "Though perhaps some time to ourselves would be nice after we return from Greece?"

Penelope was so filled with joy that she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it before turning back to Hyacinth and discussing what fun they could have now that they were going to be sisters. Though if she had looked at Ant a moment more, she would have seen the lust in his eyes and heard the quickening of his breath.

Pen turned to El and saw that she was picking mindlessly at her plate, holding back her bottled-up anger. Colin was much in the same state. And so dinner concluded with a hearty dessert and talk of when their first game of Pall Mall would be when Pen joined the family officially.

Notes:

Until tomorrow ;)

Chapter 7: Lady Whistledown and Lord Featherington

Summary:

Penelope goes to the modiest to be fitted for her upcoming wedding in two days time...but when she returns home, even more scandal strikes!

Notes:

Y'all are truly outstanding! Thank you for the love and support! Enjoy the nest chapter my lovlies!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dearest Gentle Reader,

And so the sound of wedding bells can be heard from a distance as the wedding of Lord Anthony Bridgerton and Miss Penelope Featherington, and Lord Jack Featherington and Miss Prudence Featherington draws ever closer. Perhaps by then, Lord Bridgerton's black eye will have fully healed. For those who were unaware, this author is astounded to inform you of the recent events that transpired on the front steps of the Featherington home.

The third son of the Bridgeton brood, Mr Colin Bridgerton–the Wanderer–was seen, in front of a very busy crowd, exclaiming rather loudly that Lord Bridgerton should have seduced someone else at the Bridgerton's Ball. If there was any doubt in this author's mind about this couple's hasty marriage, that doubt has settled. Though let us hope that no more scandal should taint this insipid wallflower and the ton's rake by their wedding day.

Until the next scandal.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

"I think drawing in the waist should do the trick." Mother said, looking critically at the dress, "And perhaps to lower the bodice."

Madam Delacroix held back a sigh and pinned on a smile. Pen had been silently reading a book in the drawing room, trying to calm her nerves when her mother barged in and told her to be ready to leave at once. Not knowing what was happening, she obeyed without question. The next thing she knew, she was being marched into the modiste to have a fitting for her dresses and wedding gown.

Pen was being squeezed and tugged this way and that was due to her mother's tasteless demands to have her looking lighter than she was. Mama had always remarked about her weight, about how she would never find a match looking like a ripe pumpkin. Pen had tried her best to ignore those comments, but there were times when she could no longer block her ears to those harsh words, and she would wait until in the confinement of her room to cry into her pillow.

"Madam, I do not think that is a good idea–"

"Of course it is. The viscount should not be pleased with anything less." Portia said casually as if the words were not cruel and hurtful.

Pen stood on the mantle, looking at the mirror, finding it extremely hard to breathe with her corset so very tight. Genevieve could see this and tried to loosen it for her but Portia made a huff of annoyance.

"Mama, I will surely faint if I–"

"Penelope, do not be so dramatic." Portia rolled her eyes, "And if you were not so keen on your eating habits then perhaps we would not have to tighten it to look presentable, now would we? No, you will keep it the way it is."

Penelope dropped her eyes to the floor and nodded.

"I will go and grab the fabric," Gen said, breaking the silence.

"I must go and search for some fabric for your trousseau." Portia left the fitting room in haste.

Swiping a tear from her eyes, Pen looked up at her reflection, now alone in the fitting room. The corset was bone-crushing and the bodice was surely going to be scandalously revealing. She wished desperately that Lady Violet was here to help her.

Violet knew how to tame her crazy mother, even though Lady Featherington surely got on her nerves. If only she had known her mother was going to take her to be fitted for her wedding gown, she would have feigned an illness or faked an appointment. But here she was now, feeling downright miserable and altogether undesirable.

Pen sniffed and swiped at another tear.

"I have the…Miss Penelope?" Gen asked, now holding the dress in her hands.

"Yes?" Pinning on a smile, she turned to see Genevieve

"Are you well?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" She feigned innocence.

"We are friends, are we not?" Gen asked, stepping up on the platform to help her in her gown.

"Indeed we are." Penelope stepped into the crystal gown and waited for Gen to do it up to then take her measurements on what needed to be altered. Genevieve, while standing behind her, undid the corset slightly.

Pen sighed with relief.

"Then please talk to me as you would your friend," Gen said quietly, retying the corset and then doing up the back of her dress.

Penelope looked up at her reflection and exhaled. The dress was gorgeous. Although it had not been altered, she could tell that it was going to cover all of her mistakes. Anthony did not have to be in love with her, he would simply love the dress.

"The dress is stunning." Pen breathed.

"It is the woman wearing the dress that makes it stand out, Miss Penelope."

Pen giggled and blushed.

"You are very kind."

"I am honest. Now hold still, I must adjust."

"Oh, Madam Delacroix?" Gen stopped and looked at Pen through the mirror, "Please do not make my bodice any lower. It is so very uncomfortable."

Gen smiled and nodded.

"Oh, Penelope, the dress looks grand indeed." Portia entered with a slit of transparent baby blue fabric in her hands and a smile on her face, "You may look like a viscountess after all. Lord Bridgerton may just forget your size in that dress. Excellent work, Madam Delacroix."

Up until her final comment, Pen thought her mother was praising her, but she should not have been so naive. Portia jumped on any opportunity to degrade her daughter. Pen's smile dropped as did her head.

"I am sure the viscount will be too busy staring into her lovely eyes to even notice the dress at all." Madam Delacroix said smiling.

A warm glow filled her. Gen knew just what to say.

"Yes of course," Portia waved her hand, "Now as for her trousseau, I was thinking of this fabric. It would match her eyes and it is Bridgerton blue."

Pen looked at the fabric and saw that it was completely transparent.

"What shall I wear under it?" Pen asked.

Portia groaned and rolled her eyes.

"You do not wear anything under it, Penelope, that is the point."

Her eyes bugged out of her head.

"That is scandalous, Mama!" Pen gasped.

"I will make it with layers so it only hints as to what is underneath, Miss Penelope. Besides with the weather you may wish for some warmth in the night." Genevieve smiled reassuringly.

Pen was still horrified at the notion but merely nodded gratefully.

"Just a few more measurements and then you will be done," Gen said, getting back to her work.

Madam Delacroix moved Pen this way and that to fit the final measurements all while asking basic questions about the wedding and such. Portia supplied most of the information which Pen was grateful for.

A few minutes passed and Genevieve had completed her notes.

"All done. I shall have you back for your final fitting in–"

"Tomorrow. The wedding is in two days." Portia left little room for questions.

Gen hesitated and looked at Pen. Penelope begged with her eyes for Gen to agree.

"O-of course."

"Hurry now, Penelope, we must be off." Portia said, handing Gen the fabric before leaving the changing room.

"I will use the measurements from the wedding dress for your trousseau. You will look like a queen, Miss Penelope." Gen reassured, taking the wedding dress back, "I shall let you change."

Pen nodded gratefully. Once Gen left the room, Pen hurriedly changed back into her yellow dress. She rummaged into her pocket for the piece of parchment she had left in there. Pulling out the paper she placed it behind the mirror just as they had discussed.

The latest Whistledown.

She fixed her hair and calmed her heart before opening the curtains and exiting the fitting room. One last smile from Madam Delacroix and they were gone. Portia walked all while talking about the wedding and Prudence's flower arrangements.

By the time they arrived on their street mother gasped and quickly shoved Penelope up their stairs. Pen was so shocked that she stumbled slightly.

"Mama, what is the–"

"He cannot see you like this!"

"Who?" Pen asked, still being shoved.

"Lord Bridgerton!" Portia hissed, looking behind her.

Pen's heartbeat quickened and she stopped in her tracks to look around. Before she could fully look around, Portia shoved her harder and she flew to the final step. Penelope had not seen or spoken to Anthony since the day Colin punched Anthony in the face. That was also the day that she had asked Anthony to kiss her and he had all but gagged at the thought. Her heart ached when she saw his horrified face.

Even though she was terrified to see him again, she really did want to see him.

"Whyever not, mama?"

"Because you have not lost any weight yet! We cannot let him see you lest he change his mind." Portia squawked before thrusting Pen all the way inside.

That remark felt like a slap to the face. Mama already had her and Prudence on portion control, she already made sure they went on daily walks and she lorded over them every step making sure they would look good on their wedding day. Though mama was much stricter with Penelope than Prudence due to Pen being heavier than her.

Penelope felt like she would never be good enough for her mama.

That was why she had Whistledown, her alter ego, her nom de plume.

"Mama, stop shoving," Pen exclaimed loudly.

Mama stopped, even the house seemed to freeze with the weight of it all. Penelope knew she had to either retaliate or push forward with her courage. Being the person she was; she chose retaliation. No war was worth winning against her mother.

"Forgive me, mama. I am merely tired." Pen said guiltily.

"You may be the next Viscountess Bridgerton but I do not want to see you getting a big head, do you hear me? I am still your mother and demand respect as such." Portia said, looking down at her daughter angrily.

Pen nodded submissively.

"I never approached you about it, but I did not think you had it in you. Trapping the viscount into marriage was the perfect tool Penelope and for that, I am proud of you–"

"You would be proud of me for trapping a perfectly good gentleman into a scandalous marriage?!" Pen was angry now.

"Do calm down, Penelope. And of course, I would. Why else would he accept your suit? Just look at you." Portia pointed to her youngest daughter, "You would not be his first choice–you are no diamond, Penelope."

Her eyes grew wide. Her mother thought so little of her.

"The viscount is a gentleman, which is why your plan worked perfectly, my dear. Soon you will be in the lap of luxury, with all the maids, carriages and food–actually not the food–" Portia dismissed before continuing, "–at your disposal. You would have set your dear mama up in a nice home and you will bear the perfect heirs to carry on the Bridgerton name."

She wanted to be sick. Her mother was horrible.

"I…I–"

"Finally, you are back!" Prudence entered the room, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Sister, what has happened?" Pen was not close with her sisters by any means, but that did not mean she was not concerned about them.

"Why would you care?! It is all your fault!" Prudence cried before shoving past Penelope to run up the stairs.

"What did you do to your sister?" Portia asked, accusatory.

"I…I do not know." Pen answered honestly.

Next thing they knew, Colin Bridgerton left the drawing room which Prudence had just exited from, followed by a furious and yet guilty-looking Jack Featherington. Pen felt faint from seeing him again. He looked so charming and dashing–

You cannot love him anymore!

"Miss Featherington. Lady Featherington–"

"He is a liar. Do not listen to a word he says." Jack intervened, even before Colin could finish his greeting.

"I have proof as to how I am not a liar, Lord Featherington. Do not question my character or intelligence again, or you will face the consequences–not only from me but the entire Bridgerton family, do I make myself clear?" Colin remained calm but in his eyes, Penelope saw a storm.

Jack flushed with anger and embarrassment.

"What is the meaning of this?" Portia asked.

"There are no gemstone mines in Georgia." Colin said, looking at Penelope, "I am sorry to be the one to tell you but…I have looked into him and I believe him to be nothing but a mere charlatan."

"What are you saying?" Pen asked, feeling lightheaded.

"I am saying, this necklace…" Colin drew closer to Penelope and smoothly unclasped her necklace. Pen gasped slightly and blushed. Colin moved over to the nearest table and rested the jewelled necklace on it. "This necklace is a fraud."

Taking out his pocket knife, Colin smashed the gems and they broke into tiny pieces. Portia gasped and Pen's eyes widened in understanding.

"It is made of glass." Colin said then turned to Jack, "Just like you. How dare you take advantage of these poor ladies, Featherington, without a father or a husband to protect them? It is out of concern for their reputation alone that I will only address this matter in private."

Colin took a step towards Jack who looked frightened, even though Colin was more than ten years his junior.

"But I expect you to return all of the funds you have collected, and leave town at once." Without another word, Colin bowed his head at Lady Featherington, who was white as a ghost, and left the house.

Penelope was too stunned to speak. Her gaze was filled with mortification towards their cousin.

"How could you?!" Portia cried angrily.

The screaming was what jolted some sense in her again. Without so much as a word, Pen ran off towards the door where Colin had left. She needed to see him. She needed to speak with him and thank him, and…and…

"Colin!" Pen cried when she was out the door, but all she was met with was the sight of Colin on horseback with a sad look on his face. Pen knew exactly what was going to happen next. That look filled her with dread every time.

Colin Bridgerton was leaving again.

Notes:

until tomorrow! ;)

Chapter 8: It's Time to Talk

Summary:

Anthony finally talks with Edwina and comes back home to chaos.

Notes:

Again thank you to everyone who has been tagging along for this series thus far!

Do not worry! I will still be updating this story but it may get crazy because I will be starting a new job next week! So I will try to post on the reg as much as possible but if not...know that I am still keen to see how Penthony turn out ;)

P.S a little saucy thoughts from our brooding groom ;P

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

When Anthony said he was going to come back every day to try to talk to Edwina Sharma, he was dead serious, but Kate clearly thought he was lying because every day at eleven sharp, he would arrive with a bouquet of apology flowers, and every day he would be not-so-politely sent away. Kate held just as much fury in her gaze as the day she slapped him.

Another day meant another bouquet and another day of rejection–but not today. Anthony had a newfound sense of urgency to speak with Miss Edwina even if that meant marching through the house, uninvited. It was now or never.

Penelope and he were getting married in forty-eight hours–less than! Anthony wanted so badly to make things right with the innocent woman he injured. He ruined her. Anthony also needed to speak with Penelope in private about all that had happened. And he wanted to see Kate again.

He shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't…but he could not be parted from her. Just because he looked at Penelope and had very ungentlemanly thoughts–every hour of every day since that night in the garden–does not mean that his passion for Kate had eased. She may despise his very existence, but he could not love her less.

"Lady Danbury will see you, Lord Bridgerton." The footman ushered him inside.

Hope and dread ignited in his heart. At least he was being admitted into the home. He had not gotten far into the front hall when the sight of Lady Danbury filled his vision. Lady Danbury walked into the foyer, her cane clicking along the marble floors the whole way.

"Lord Bridgerton, I am assuming you are not here to see me."

Anthony bowed.

"Any chance to see you, Lady Danbury."

"Perhaps we shall drop the charade and you can get what you came here for." Lady Danbury rolled her eyes and nodded her head towards a room that he knew to be her study. The door was ajar slightly and he saw from the crack a flush pink dress.

Edwina Sharma .

Anthony turned back to Lady Danbury in shock.

"I will not hesitate to hit you with my cane if you hurt her, Lord Bridgerton."

"I do not doubt it. You have my word." he bowed his head.

"Miss Kate Sharma is out at present so you have exactly ten minutes to do what you must before she comes to take off your head. I promised her to keep her sister safe…I think that the only way she will be safe again is if you explain." She placed her hand on his cheek gently, "Heartbreak has very few cures. Allow her this one."

The nerves bubbled over slightly when she nodded, giving her permission for him to go to her. How desperately he wanted her to be alright. He was also shocked when he saw Lady Danbury turn to the drawing room and not her office to chaperone.

Yes, he had given her his word, but not too many people took him for his word.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door.

"Come in." the soft voice of Edwina drifted into his ears. He winced at the sound.

"Miss Edwina, I must speak with you." Anthony pushed his way through the room and his heart nearly broke when he saw that Edwina had been crying. The hanky in her hand looked well used for the day and her eyes were glistening with new tears at the sight of him.

Anthony instantly moved towards her and bowed.

"Lord Bridgerton!" She was on her feet in an instant, dipping into a polite bow.

Lifting his head he saw that she bobbed into a curtsy herself and tried to pin on a smile. Even while she suffered, she tried to appear as happy as ever.

"My lord, I believe congratulations are in order." Her voice broke slightly but her smile never faltered.

Regret washed over him anew.

"Miss Edwina, I beg for your forgiveness–"

"Would you like to sit, my lord?"

Edwina gestured to the chairs and he gratefully took a seat. She was not far behind.

He was fiddling with his thumbs and a nervous wreck. He had practised what he was going to say to her for hours, but he never expected he would get this opportunity to apologise–not as long as Kate was her warden.

Now that he was here…his mind had drawn a blank.

"Are you well, my lord?"

"How is it that you are so kind to me when I have wronged you?" Anthony blurted sadly.

Through tears, she smiled.

"It is easy. You have not wronged me." She shrugged.

He looked at her like she was crazy. How could she say that?!

"Miss Edwina, I am so sorry. My humblest apologies will never be enough, I know. I also know that my actions were cruel and misleading–you deserve an explanation for all of it and if you let me then I would like the chance to do just that." Anthony had barely taken a breath and when he finally felt her cool hand on his forearm, he looked up and saw her tear-stained cheeks. But what surprised him was the small smile that graced her pretty features.

"My lord, Miss Penelope, came to see me the night of the ball. I know what happened," His jaw went slack. She chuckled slightly and continued, "She was so very worried that I would not believe her that she went as far as to show me her cut. I know that society is cruel and unforgiving but I would think much less of you if you had not done your duty and taken her as your wife."

His head shook in disbelief.

"To say that I am not a little hurt would be lying but…we did not love each other and for that I am grateful. It would be much harder if we did." Edwina squeezed his arm as a sign of comfort, "My only request is that you love her because she is deserving of such."

Because she is deserving of such.

"I do not know Miss Penelope all that well but from what I have observed and seen she is all that is good. So please, my lord, do see to it that she is loved and feels worthy." Edwina said with a small smile.

Love. He refused to open his heart again. But how could he deny her request after all that he had done to her already?! Love Penelope he could not, but show her how outstanding she was, that was something he definitely could do.

"Upon my word, I shall." Anthony nodded his head and took her hand in his, "I hope that you know that you are as much deserving of a marriage full of love. Please know that I am sorry for my actions, and know that I would have taken you as my wife if…"

"Please do not say such things, my lord." Edwina shook her head and took back her hand, "All is as it should be. You two will be very happy together, I am sure. And who knows…perhaps I shall find a man whom I love and who loves me in return before the season is over."

That sparkling optimism.

"Well, that gentleman shall be very lucky indeed."

"You are too kind, my lord." Edwina smiled kindly.

"I only speak the truth," Anthony said honestly.

Anthony knew that without a shadow of a doubt that whoever was to have the honour of marrying this stunning and angelic woman before him, would be one lucky bastard. He knew that they would never suit, but he did think her a kind and gentle woman he would very much enjoy having by his side as a friend.

"I do not wish to rid of you because I am angry, but for your sake, I implore you to take your leave before my sister gets home." Edwina rose from the sofa, encouraging him to do the same.

Kate.

Half of him wanted so badly to stay and see Kate's face when she saw that he had been talking to her sister, but the other part could not stand the sight of her. Not because he hated her, or the sight of her disgusted him–far from it. Because the sight of her made his heart ache with longing and unrequited love.

That would simply not do.

"Thank you for seeing me and hearing me, Miss Edwina. I wish you very happy."

Edwina smiled kindly.

"I fear that if it had not been Miss Penelope coming to see me, I probably would not have seen reason. She is a treasure indeed–a diamond even," She smirked at him, "And if I hear correctly, Lord Bridgerton, I believe you were set on marrying the diamond."

Penelope was a diamond. But perhaps not the kind that anyone saw at first.

The more that Anthony got to know her the more he understood why his siblings had such fondness towards her. Pen was easy to get along with and she had that silver tongue that no one expected, which made it all the more entertaining when she told her barbs and jokes.

"Oh, I believe my sister should be home any minute! You should go." Edwina looked apologetic but Anthony smiled reassuringly.

"Good day, Miss Edwina."

"Good day, my lord." Edwina bowed and just before he left the room she stopped him, "Oh, and please do tell Miss Penelope that I hope to see her after the wedding. Kate will not let me attend but make sure she knows that it is not because I am upset."

Kathani Sharma, you are testing my patience.

"Of course. We look forward to having you for dinner when all is settled." Anthony smiled honestly.

He had every intention of keeping that promise. He was sure that Penelope would enjoy Edwina's company and from what he had already observed, Edwina and she were already close in friendship.

By the time she replied, they were on the outside steps saying their goodbyes. "I should enjoy that very much." She replied easily.

"You have done what I asked?" Lady Danbury asked joining them.

Anthony turned and bowed to the woman who scared half the ton and horrified the other.

"Your wishes were met and I am ever grateful for your services." Anthony smiled.

Lady Danbury smirked and nodded approvingly.

"Tell that fiance of yours that I am in need of her presence soon. She has a wicked tongue on her when she chooses to use it," Lady Danbury chuckled and Edwina joined in.

Wicked? Perhaps I shall find out how wicked that tongue can truly–

"Yes, she is most delightful company." Edwina chimed in.

"Miss Featherington has been well connected with our family for years and I have known her to be such a shy and timid thing. Eloise and Colin both told me of how outgoing and quickwitted she was, but I was never witness to such traits." Anthony explained, "Now that I have spent more time with her I am more than delighted to find such spine."

Both ladies laughed and exchanged knowing looks.

Anthony thought back to the moment when he nearly choked with surprise when Penelope Featherington–the blushing redhead who he never remembered ever making eye contact with him–asked for him to kiss her. The shocking thing was not only the tone in which she spoke but the fact that she had posed it as a statement.

Penelope Featherington had not asked, she instructed. Anthony was beyond baffled by the thought of Miss Featherington telling him to kiss her–then insinuating that he may not want to kiss her when they were married. Never had he felt such an urge to kiss someone before. That thought shocked him to his senses.

When Anthony realised his desire, he instantly built up his walls so nothing could penetrate. As if due to instinct, he grew cold and hard on the outside, while the battle of emotions raged on the inside. He regretted his behaviour when he saw the tears form in her eyes when he snapped at her.

He also regretted that he had not seen her since that day.

"I believe you have some errands to run. Weddings do not arrange themselves." Lady Danbury said.

Anthony got the hint.

"Farewell ladies."

He knew that his luck was running out, but all was confirmed when he turned to see that a carriage had pulled into the courtyard holding none other than Kathani Sharma who wore the sourest expression Anthony had ever seen. Lady Danbury looked amused while Edwina feared for Anthony.

Luckily Anthony was a few paces from his own carriage when the stormy woman exited the buggy.

"What are you doing here?" She thundered, clearly not caring who heard her tone of voice.

"Miss Sharma, what a pleasant surprise." Anthony smiled stiffly.

That glare could freeze the desert.

"Do not treat me as a halfwit, Lord Bridgeton! Why are you here?"

"For the very same reason, I have come every day for the past week; to speak to Miss Edwina," Anthony said, a hint of snarkiness hidden behind his tone.

Kate was going to explode. Her dress was the colour of Penelope Featherington's hair and it also matched Kate's piping-hot anger ready to bubble over. Anthony found joy in teasing her. He was petty indeed.

"I vow to you that you will not speak with her–"

"Your vow has sadly been broken because I had the honour of speaking with your sister, not twenty minutes past and I am pleased to state that all the air between us has cleared and a friendship may resume," Anthony smiled genuinely at that.

"You–Y-you–"

"Yes, me." Anthony growled, anger swelling inside him, "You deliberately kept her from knowing the truth–from having peace all for what? For some reason to spite me? For the satisfaction of knowing I felt pain for not being able to speak to your sister?"

Anthony stepped forward again, making sure she knew that he was the one control of the situation and not her.

"I am more than deserving of my share of justice inflicted but you are not my judge and you are not my executioner. What you should understand is that it was not only me who you harmed in your attempts to keep me from your sister, it was, in fact , your sister who you harmed most." Anthony pointed to the top of the stairs where Edwina watched cautiously with lady Danbury. Kate's eyes flickered to her sister then back to him.

"The truth is what she needed and you refused to let her have it. Why? Why is it that you could not see her happy?"

Kate's eyes pooled with furious tears. Anthony felt for her, he really did, but he was too consumed with the rage of her selfishness. He had been selfish many times before and he still continued to be–but when one withholds a cure from the injured, can you really pat them on the back for prolonging the wounded man's pain?

She may have thought she was doing right by her sister but she was not. Edwina was too sweet to argue with her sister, but Edwina needed to hear from Anthony what had happened–even if Penelope had shared with her such scandalous news. Kate was too stubborn for her own good. That was one of the things he loved about her.

You cannot love her anymore.

"You never would have made her happy." She hissed, tendrils shaking with her vicious nod.

"I agree. I would have broken her heart–as would you have." Anthony whispered, his eyes never leaving hers, "You wish to know why?"

Kate's eyes were wide and her breath was coming in huffs of agitation.

"It is because if I had stood before the alter with your sister before me, glowing in all her beauty, all I would be able to do, is look at you, the fiery Kathani Sharma and wish it was you taking those vows, telling me you loved me and that not even death would part us. The vicar would allow me to put the ring on your finger and announce us married under the sight of the law and the sight of God." Anthony admitted harshly, though not loud enough for Lady Dabury or Edwina to hear, "Not Edwina. You."

Kate gasped and drew back.

"That is why I would have broken her heart. Be glad she does not have to be trapped with that."

Not another word could be spoken before he bowed and entered his carriage to leave for Number Five. Anthony waved to Lady Danbury and Edwina who were still at the top of the stairs, but Kate remained frozen on the pebbled ground, trying to sort her thoughts.

When he got far enough away from Kate–the house…he threw his head in his hands and rubbed his hands over his face roughly, desperate to rid of this horrid feeling. Kathani Sharma knew. She knew of his affection but he could not have her. What was the purpose of telling her? It was not as though he could sweep her away to Greta Green and live happily ever after.

He had a family to protect, Penelope's reputation would be irreparable and Edwina would also suffer from such rash decisions. Anthony was a selfish man–but he could not be that selfish, not when so many people would reap the consequences of his self centred ways. No, he couldn't. He wouldn't .

Arriving home was not any better for his already thin patience when he saw Portia Featherington walking the streets pushing along what he assumed to be Prudence. That woman was a nightmare and he vowed that he would never have her move in with him and Penelope when they were settled. Portia was a cruel woman who he had heard tormented Penelope for her weight, her looks and even her height–all things that made Penelope even more desirable in his eyes.

In his eyes Penelope was a delightful handful. Full curves, heavy breasts, fiery hair to have sprawled on his white sheets while she fisted them tightly and moaned in pleasure as he kissed and licked and nibbled her creamy skin. Oh, how gorgeous she would look as she rode him, a delicate blush trailing down her freckled cheeks, further down her neck until it reached her voluptuous bosoms–

Good lord! Stop this at once!

"Anthony!" Mother was the first to greet him at the door.

Anthony pinned on a smile and held back the groan.

"Thank heavens you are here! You must do something before he disappears again. Please you must make him see reason–he will look as though he is running away–"

Anthony soon realised that his mother's tone was not one of happy greeting but of panic and anxiousness. He turned his full attention to his mother to see that she had tears streaming down her cheeks and a hanky in one hand to pat away the dampness. Those caring eyes were filled with concern and sadness all while she tried to calm down enough to speak.

"Calm down, Mother." Anthony tried to reason with her.

"He must see reason! You must speak to him, Anthony–"

"Who?" He took his mother by the shoulders, making sure her eyes were on him and not tearfully out the door that he had just entered.

"Colin." She sobbed into her hanky, "He is leaving again!"

Notes:

Until next time lovelies! ;)

Chapter 9: Wedding Bells

Summary:

It is the day we have all been waiting for...The wedding between the Rake and the Wallflower.

Penelope is finally able to reconcile with Eloise and talk to her future husband before they take their vows.

And Penelope finally knows what a kiss feels like - magic.

Notes:

Thanks for being so patient for this chapter y'all! I hope you all enjoy the talk we have all been waiting for from Penthony!!! and from El and Pen of course ;)

Sidenote:

I think I will post every 2-3 days just cause life is crazy and work life can be a killer!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The day of the wedding arrived along with the fit of nerves. Nothing could have prepared Penelope for the terror of her own wedding. To be fair, she never dared to imagine that anyone would wait for her down the aisle. All thoughts of matrimony were squashed ruthlessly by her sisters and mother–up until the baron arrived in the picture.

Pen still shivered at the thought of him. She knew that the greying baron would not dare intrude upon her as long as Anthony was in the picture, but that did not mean she was not still frightened of his pointed looks and leering grins. Penelope shook her head, causing her red hair to shimmer in the candlelight.

She was once again reminded about where she was and what she was doing. Hours before Mama had been in a fit about how the flower arrangements must have been mixed up because they were not yellow–Penelope was yet to Violet Bridgerton for that blessing. Though there was excitement in the air, there was still tension and bitterness from Eloise.

All Penelope wanted was her best friend Eloise, but El refused to see her. Ever since Colin left for Italy, Penelope just wanted to cry alone in her room–but she had not gotten a moment's peace because of her mother and the scandal with Cousin Jack. Prudence was still upset at Penelope for some reason, thinking that it had been her younger sister's fault that Colin now knew.

Penelope learned a lot about her sister that day. Prudence clearly had no moral values for she was willing to marry Cousin Jack no matter what–but mother had Cousin Jack on the curb before any of them could even blink. Prudence still refused to talk to Pen, which she didn't mind.

Penelope may have felt sorrow that Colin was gone, but she was also beyond grateful for him saving them. She regretted not being able to thank him before he rode off. She also regretted that he would not be there for his own brother's wedding–even though Penelope wished it was Colin at that altar instead.

"Mama wishes me to inform you that it will be a few hours until it starts." The woman she wanted so desperately to talk to entered the room, dressed in a stunning blue dress, embroidered with gorgeous flowers and even the subtle bees.

Penelope smiled gently at her. She knew her friend was uncomfortable in that beautiful dress, but she looked stunning nonetheless.

"Thank you, El." Pen stepped towards her, careful not to trip on the train of her wedding dress.

Madam Delacroix had outdone herself with this dress. It was truly outstanding and made Penelope look like a princess. Pen had never felt so beautiful in all her life. She knew that once she took off this stunning V-line, puffy sleeved, white dress…that her confidence would fade and her mask would be ripped off.

"Good luck." Eloise moved to leave but Pen reached for her.

"Eloise, please." Pen's voice broke.

El looked back at her blankly.

"I…I…"

No words would come, only the tears. Her mother would have her head if any of her makeup was to get ruined, though at this moment she did not care. All she cared about was having her friend again. Penelpe did not just want her friend back, she needed her friend back. The other half of her soul had been missing long enough.

"Would you please stay with me?" She began, "I know you would rather not see me or be in my presence–and you do not even have to talk…but I…I need to have you close by. It is a selfish request, I know, but…"

Eloise clenched her jaw and Pen knew she had to quit her rambling else her friend would leave.

"Eloise, I am afraid." Pen whispered, ashamed to be admitting such news.

Instantly Eloise's agitation melted and her shoulders deflated until she looked at her friend with such pity and sorrow that Pen wanted to cry. El was by Penelope's side in seconds, engulfing her in a tight hug. Speech was limited but her hug told a thousand words and each word screamed sorry . Everything evaporated and she was just in her friend's arms, safe and protected from the cruel world around them.

"I am so terrified." She sobbed.

"I am here, Pen." Eloise said, squeezing her tighter.

"Forgive me, Eloise. I p-promise you that I care a-about you and your family and i-if I had known that Anthony w-was going to be th-there–"

"Shh, I know. Please forgive me for what I said. Colin told me everything," Eloise said, choking on her own tears, "I should have known you would not have been so cruel. You are not like that. You are kind, caring and you put others before yourself."

El hiccuped and Pen squeezed her tighter.

"I am sorry for what I said. You are not a shrew or are you despicable–I am! I could not stand the fact that you were going to be taken from me–"

Penelope pulled away and gripped her friend tightly by the shoulders.

"Eloise Bridgerton, you will never have to fear me leaving you, do you understand? I am your friend and I love you as such. We will not be separated–ever." Pen said firmly, "If anything we are to be closer because now you are to be my sister. I do not want to hear–"

"Pen!" Eloise shouted, eyes wide with shock.

"What? What is the matter?" Pen was concerned.

"We are to be real sisters now!" She squealed and Penelope laughed.

How very exciting to have a sister who cared about her. Well not a sister yet, in an hour–less than! Oh heavens she was getting anxious again. At least she had her best friend back–her new sister to remind her that some things turn out for the better. Eloise becoming her new sister was sure to be one of the best things to ever happen to her!

For the next few minutes, Pen and Eoise talked about all that had happened, all that they would do together as sisters and how Penelope was going to convince Anthony to let up on Eloise and let her enjoy her freedoms while they lasted. Penelope tried to explain that Anthony may not listen, but she would try her best–Eloise was her friend after all, and she wanted the best for her.

A knock came at the door, interrupting Eloise's rant about all they should do now that they did not have to worry about consulting Pen's mother about when they could spend time together. They both looked to the door and Pen called for them to enter. Only a second later, Violet walked in with a smile on her face.

"Penelope? It is almost–oh, my dear." Violet clutched a hand to her chest and another hand to her mouth. Penelope thought that something was wrong but when Violet wrapped her in a big hug, she knew that Violet was merely emotional at the sight of her soon-to-be daughter.

"My darling, you look like dazzling." Violet held Pen's hands and leaned back to admire Madam Delacriox's masterpiece.

"It was all Madam Delacriox." Pen said humbly.

"Anyone can wear a crown, but only when she wears it with grace, gentleness, and authority can one tell that she truly is a princess." Violet said cupping Pen gently by the cheek. Penelope had never received so much affection in all her eighteen years of living.

"Thank you, Violet. I would not have been able to have made it through this week without you and your kindness in handling my mother and with that scandal with Cousin Jack. I just–"

"Penelope, you are to be my daughter–just as I always dreamed you would." Violet caressed Pen's cheek, swiping the stray tear, "It is not under ideal circumstances but…I could not be happier to have you join the family."

Her heart grew with delight.

"Though I am still your favourite daughter, right mama?" Eloise asked, innocently.

Penelope laughed and dabbed at her eyes when Violet turned to her second daughter.

"I love all my children the same." Violet said smiling.

El groaned and rolled her eyes. "Every mother says that."

Another knock came as they laughed together. Benedict entered looking every bit as handsome as a Bridgerton son should. Penelope was almost jealous by how handsome the Brdiegrton sons and daughters were. They were blessed to be so very good looking–there was no denying it.

"Is the blushing bride ready to be a Bridgerton?" Ben asked, looking at his mother.

Penelope was shielded by all the ladies and poked her head around to make herself known. Ben's smile dropped when he saw her and his eyes widened. Penelope smiled even through the nerves. She thought perhaps Benedict did not like how she looked, making her feel incredibly nervous all over again.

Ben drew closer and now had a full view of his future sister.

"Pen…you look breathtaking."

Well Pen was finding it incredibly hard to breathe. Mother had made sure that her corset was done up as tight as could be. Genevieve had been a saint and let out the dress but Mother soon reminded that by taking matters into her own hands–literally. Penelope was almost certain that she would faint if the nerves did not die down and if this dress was not loosened.

"You know, it is not too late to become Mrs Benedict Bridgerton." A sly grin broke across Benedict's devilishly handsome features.

Penelope blushed wildly and her giggles bubbled over.

"Don't you dare, Benedict." Violet warned, fixing Pen's veil from behind, "There is still an hour until the ceremony and I would rather there not be any more scandal until then"

"It was worth a try." Ben winked, who was taking a little too much delight in looking at Penelope and her goddess like form. "About that…Daphne said she needs you and Eloise to find Hyacinth before she decides to pull a prank on–."

Violet's head snapped up and she looked around frantically. Not another word could be spoken before Violet was out of the room searching for her youngest child around the church. Violet wanted everything to go smoothly today and she vowed that not a single one of her children were going to ruin this day. Violet led Eloise down the hall.

Ben snuck his head out the door and waited a couple seconds. Penelope was so confused. Soon Ben was fully in the room with a huge grin on his face. Now she was even more confused. He held up a hand as if pausing time and let out a low whistle. Only seconds later, Anthony entered the room looking like the most dashing prince.

Penelope felt her heart leap in her throat.

"Was the whistle really necessary?" Anthony rolled his eyes at Benedict who looked crushed.

"Of course it was." Ben said.

"Could you just guard the door?" Anthony growled and nodded to the door, "Also find Hyacinth before mother has a heart attack."

"Ye of little faith. I know where she is already." Ben said, shrugging before closing the door behind him.

None of her nerves had died down by the time Ben left, in fact they only escalated now that they were alone together. Penelope gulped and tried to hide her shaking hands. Anthony now turned to her and was silent. She wished she could know what he was thinking.

Anthony looked at her and was astounded by how beautiful she was. That dress made her look like the princess she was. Every curve was accentuated in just the right way, her hair was pinned back to show off her stunning features and her creamy neck displayed a sapphire necklace to match the ring he had for her.

He knew he was undeserving of Penelope, she was kind, generous, forgiving, smart, had the smile of an angel, a laugh that makes you feel as though the sun has come out and a heart that glows brighter than a lighthouse on a stormy day. Penelope Featherington deserved the world.

"Are you well, my lord?" Penelope asked gently, finally breaking the silence.

"I am." Anthony said, "And you?"

"As good as can be expected after not having spoken to my future husband in days." Penelope said bravely, hurt lacing her voice. Anthony winced at the truth of her words. Another reason why she was too good for him.

"Miss Featherington, I–"

"I've felt so alone, Anthony." Pen whispered, "Alone and afraid."

She did not know where this courage was coming from but it felt too good to stop now. This may never happen again and so she needed to take advantage of having his undivided attention while he was not fuming at her. Anthony took a step closer to her.

"My best friend would not speak to me, my mother constantly criticises me for what I looked like, my sisters have all but congratulated me for scheming against you to trap you into marriage," Penelope wanted to stay strong and not cry but he needed to know what went on in his absence, "Colin left! My family is ruined because my cousin left us penniless!"

Penelope let out a sob before continuing.

"All of this has gone on since that night in the gardens and you have made it your life's goal to avoid me! I just wanted someone to help me, to care–and the one person who is supposed to give a damn refuses to look at me!" Anthony was shocked to hear such language leave her mouth.

"We are to be married in less than an hour and this is the first time you have laid eyes on me in days! Anthony," Penelope whispered his name, "I would rather be ruined and destitute than be trapped in a loveless, friendless marriage like my parents. That being the case, if you cannot find it in your heart to care for me even as a friend than–"

She could not go any further before Anthony swept over to her and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her in his steady embrace. Penelope stiffened before clinging to him desperately and crying into his broad chest. Anthony soothingly rubbed her back and shoulders as she sobbed and his heart broke for the pain he caused her. He wanted to kick himself for not seeing her sooner.

"Forgive me." Anthony whispered, "Please, forgive me."

Pen just gripped him tighter and tried to calm her breathing.

"I know that I am not your choice of bride, my lord, but–"

Something stopped her. More specifically, someone stopped her.

Penelope's eyes went wide with shock when Anthony's lips crashed into her own. Pen stiffened with shock, not fully comprehending that Lord Anthony Bridgerton was kissing her! Anthony tilted his head to deepen the kiss and that was when she felt it.

She felt everything . The shock was still there but now pleasure overwhelmed her. Penelope now knew what a kiss felt like…and it was glorious. Calloused hands gently lay on her cheek and hip, drawing her closer. Pen had never felt so vulnerable and yet so safe in her whole life.

"You are allowed to kiss me back, Penelope." Anthony chuckled before brushing his lips with her own. That sent a tingle right through her.

"What do I do?" Pen whispered against his lips.

"Do whatever you wish." Anthony kissed the edge of her mouth.

Penelope slid her hands up his large chest and rested them on his broad shoulders nervously. She had seen a couple do this once and the woman had her hands on his shoulders. The couple had sneakily escaped into the garden one evening, clearly desperate for one another. Once the kissing couple started to devour one another Penelope felt hot all over and left to calm her beating heart. She never knew such passion existed.

That was the moment that she knew that she wanted to be loved in return. So desperate to have someone cherish her and caress her the way that man did with his wife. Longing for each other with every moment and then loving each other so much that even an inch is too far away.

"Like this?" She whispered nervously, carding her fingers through his gorgeous hair. The sensation made her warm inside and upon instinct, kissed him in return.

"Just like that." Anthony groaned, tugging her closer until they were flush against one another.

She squeaked, and bit his lip lightly on accident causing Anthony to groan. Pen pulled back to apologise but Anthony snaked a hand to her neck, at the base of her curly red hair, holding her to him. This caused her to gasp allowing Anthony to make his move.

The next thing she knew Anthony had plunged his tongue in between her parted lips. Anthony groaned into her mouth and Pen just gasped at the electrifying sensation. Pen pulled his hair slightly and Anthony moaned deeply. Soon the need for air was overwhelming.

They both stood panting, just staring at one another.

So that is a kiss .

"I should have done that sooner." He kissed her again, but just briefly.

Penelope looked up at him with adoration and joy, but also embarrassment and nerves. His eyes went serious and almost sad.

"Tell me now if you wish me to call it all off, Miss Featherington," Anthony whispered, "Though I must confess that the thought of being married to you does not displease me at all. I cannot guarantee you love but I can guarantee luxury, happiness, friendship, a family who cares for you and security. If you do not want that then I will find a way for you not to be ruined–"

"You are too good." Penelope whispered, heart glowing with his selflessness. He was willing to endure the scandal of it all just so she would not be forced or unhappy. This was a man she could spend her life with. Love may come later, but even if it didn't, he would be her friend and that's what she wanted. Penelope refused to have a husband who despised her and she in return hate him.

"I promise you that you will not have a marriage like your parents. You are my friend, and soon to be my wife–if you still wish for that–"

A knock came at the door before Penelope could answer. Benedict came in with a hand over his eyes and Penelope was baffled and mildly concerned, Anthony however just rolled his eyes.

"Are you decent?" Ben asked.

Penelope realised what he meant and blushed wildly.

"Yes, now what is it?" Anthony growled.

"You have to be at the altar, brother." Benedict said, uncovering his eyes.

Anthony turned to Penelope as if asking her. Pen just smiled sweetly and took his hand.

"We cannot be late, my lord."

A bright smile lit up Anthony's features and before she knew what was happening Anthony swooped down and gave her another heartstopping kiss. Penelope felt a thousand butterflies swarm her stomach at the sensation. Benedict was the one to stop them.

"Save it for the honeymoon, brother." Ben grabbed Anthony by the shoulder and dragged him out the room, but not before Anthony could send Pen a reassuring smile. Pen felt her own grin split her features. Benedict came back into the room with a handsome and sly smile on his face.

"Are you ready, Pen?" Benedict offered his arm.

Penelope smiled brightly and took it without hesitation.

Penelope had intended to have Lord Featherington walk her down the aisle seeing as he was her guardian, but when all had blown up with his scandal, Pen had asked Benedict to fill in and he was more than happy to oblige.

Benedict looked very handsome next to her and she felt so very lucky to have him lead her down the aisle. Ben had always been so very kind to her and was even more so now that she was to be part of the family. With him as her new brother, she was sure they would turn Anthony grey by the season's end–something Eloise had joked about less than an hour ago.

They stood at the double doors of the church. This was her last few moments as a Featherington and the very thought made butterflies scurry around her stomach like a tornado. But it also made her want to run down the aisle with joy knowing her mother would no longer have hold on her, or that Prudence would walk in her room and recite all Cressida's mean barbs about her weight, or even have Varley serve her less food then the others due to portion control.

"As I'll ever be." She whispered in return, pinning on a smile.

The doors opened and Penelope was met with the sight of a full church, the most gorgeous flower arrangements, pretty piano notes reaching her ears and the sight of her soon-to-be-husband looking jaw droppingly attractive next to his only groomsman–the Duke of Hastings. She knew that if Colin had not run off to Italy then Anthony would have had his younger brother by his side also.

Penelope knew she had to take a breath and put on a winning smile for all those who had come to see the Rake and the Wallflower say their vows. Penelope gulped and started her walk down the aisle. If she did not have Benedict on her arm she was sure that she would have collapsed with nerves. Her eyes met with Anthony's and she smiled genuinely.

Her lips tingled at the sight of him.

Before she knew it, she was being handed over to Anthony. They stood before the vicar and Pen could see out of the corner of her eye that Anthony was clenching his jaw tightly as he held her hand gingerly but with much authority. The vicar was an elderly man who had just as much hair as a skinned rat, with a voice like nails on a chalkboard and the nose of a mole.

The service went on and Pen became increasingly more fearful to say her vows without stuttering, knowing that her mother was drilling holes in the back of her head making sure she said everything correctly. Once the vicar turned to her to say those dreaded words, she spoke them clearly and with the authority of Lady Whistledown.

" I, Penelope Anne Featherington take thee, Lord Anthony Edmund Bridgerton, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."

And so Anthony repeated with his lines, never stuttering or faltering with his words.

"I, Lord Anthony Edmund Bridgerton, take thee, Penelope Anne Featherington, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."

With that the vicar nodded approvingly and signified for Anthony to take the ring and place it on Penelope's finger. The ring was a stunning yet simple band with a stunning sapphire jewel in the middle, framed by two smaller diamonds. She gasped at the sight of it.

"With this ring, I wed you and pledge you my love now and forever." Anthony repeated after the vicar.

Penelope tried to smile back even though her heart beamed with nervous tremors.

"Then by the power vested in me, under the sight of the Lord, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride," the vicar gestured to the newlyweds.

Penelope's heart was roaring in her chest. Anthony took hold of her blushing cheeks gently and leaned down to seal their vows with a kiss. Fire shot through her when Anthony's lips made contact with hers. His experienced lips barely caressed hers but all the same it made her tingle. Her third kiss was just as breathtaking as the two that came before it.

Though Anthony did not deepen the kiss nor did he kiss her for longer than five seconds Penelope felt like the world had shifted in those mere seconds. When he drew back, Penelope was jolted back into her body and reminded where she was and what was going on. His chocolate brown eyes held a promise and they also held such devotion and care.

"Stand as I introduce you to Viscount Anthony Edmund Bridgerton and his new bride, Viscountess Penelope Anne Bridgerton." Thundering applause filled the church, and it matched the same tempo as Penelope's heartbeat.

Notes:

Until next time lovelies ;)

Chapter 10: Carriage Conversations

Summary:

Married...now what?

Penelope finally talks with Anthony about what has been plaguing her mind and Anthony hates Portia even more - if that's even possible!

Notes:

Thank you guys for all your amazing comments and feedback! I love you all and I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!!!

Sorry I know this one is kinda short but the next chapter is really long and would have been toooo long if I added this with it!

Get excited for TOMORROW.. and make sure you have some sunscreen, a hat and some cold water because it's gonna be HOT!

(gotta change the rating to E cause...damn)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Penelope was no longer a Featherington. Anthony was no longer a bachelor. They both were wed…and were both very silent as they made their way, via carriage, to Aubury Hall where they would be staying for two weeks before Pen moved into Number Five. The reception had gone smoothly enough and he had had his fair share of drinks with the boys, but he found it incredibly difficult to stop looking at his new wife. Penelope looked radiant. Not just because of the dress she wore–which highlighted her stunning figure and most delicate bosoms–it was because when she smiled his heart stuttered.

Penelope found the growing silence hard to bear, so as distraction, Pen found that twiddling her fingers and fiddling with her ring served well in keeping her attention from the man who gave her the ring. It was gorgeous and shimmered brightly. The sapphire was a deep ocean blue that reminded Penelope of the waves right after a storm–still dark and wild but just tame enough not to rock a boat over. She was not expecting a ring, let alone one as breathtaking.

Though on the topic of breathtaking, Pen was finding it very hard to breathe. It was too unbearable. Penelope would face the mortification after she got some proper oxygen in her system, but for now she was desperate.

"My lord, would you please?" Penelope breathed, trying to keep from gasping for air.

Anthony turned to her.

"Ugh, my corset is…too…tight."

Recognition washed over him and his eyes wandered down to her chest that was rising and falling at a fast rate to keep air reaching her lungs, which was becoming almost impossible. Anthony sprung into action and immediately started untying the strings. After what felt like an eternity, Anthony gripped the fabric after loosening the strings slightly and pulled them apart causing air to flood her lungs and the dress to drape lower.

Penelope was too focused on sucking in air to care that almost her whole back was exposed to her husband, nor did she seem to see that his eyes had hooded over with lust and his own breathing to increase, but not from lack of air. Anthony could not take his eyes off of her creamy back, all that he wanted to do to her came flooding into his brain and he had to close his eyes and steady his breathing to keep from pouncing.

"Thank you, my lord." Penelope said gratefully.

"Do not mention it." Anthony said.

Penelope looked over her shoulder to see that Anthony had not moved from the seat by her side, but had resumed his brooding by looking out the window. Now that she could think straight, she pressed her back to the wall of the carriage and looked out the opposite window, hoping that the time would rush by. It of course didn't and Penelope became increasingly nervous.

"You are trembling," Anthony said, eyes now on her.

Pen looked down and saw that her hands were indeed shaking.

"So I am." She laughed nervously hiding them behind her back.

"Are…are you afraid of me?" Anthony asked, moving closer to the edge of his seat to see her better.

Her eyes whipped up to look at him. Penelope felt sick in the stomach at the look he was giving her but she refused to not voice her thoughts. He was her husband and she would rather die than have a marriage like her mother and father; loveless and dispising.

"I…am uncertain, my lord, not afraid." Penelope said, looking directly into his brown eyes.

"Uncertain?" He tilted his head, "What kind of uncertainties are we talking about here?"

Penelope knew that they had to have this discussion sooner than later, especially since . It was going to make her blush deeper than a tomato but she knew that it had to be done.

Just say it!

"I am uncertain about what you expect of me." Penelope whispered.

"Expect of you?" Anthony looked so very confused.

Taking a deep breath she continued.

"Tonight, my lord."

Pen nearly died on the spot when his eyes widened to be twice their original size. This was even worse than when she asked him to kiss her–there was an escape then. This was a moving carriage. She nearly lost all her courage until she remembered why she had to have this conversation with him.

"My lord?"

"You wish to know what I expect–?"

"I know not what the act of intimacy is, or how to perform it, but I want to know how many children you expect me to give you, where I will be sleeping and what nights I am to leave you to your indiscretions." His mouth was wide open so she rushed to add, "I…I should also like to know if you take a m-mistress, my lord. It does not bother me, I would just prefer you be open with me in that area. I know that I am not at all pleasing to the eyes, nor am I tempting enough to–"

"Penelope Bridgerton, I beg you not to continue such falsehoods!" Anthony whispered harshly.

Penelope was stunned into silence. He had never used such a tone with her and it made her tremble even more. Anthony saw this and took a deep breath. Anthony ran a hand over his face then winced when his rough hands scratched his tender cheek. There was still a lasting bruise from where Colin had socked him. Penelope, upon instinct took his hands from his face and gently brushed her thumb over the red marks. Her palm barely kissing against his cheek.

The morning stubble bit into her palm in such a strange way that made her want to giggle. Anthony's eyes closed and he nuzzled his face closer to her hand. He took a deep breath and caught her hand, pressing it deeper into his cheek. Pen's breath caught when his soft lips brushed the inside of her wrist.

"I like the smell of your perfume." Anthony whispered.

Somehow his whispering added intimacy to the moment making her tingle.

"Th-thank you?"

Anthony almost growled as he moved closer, smelling her wrist and then kissing it. Penelope gulped and felt as though her corset was strangling her again. His eyes that were once closed due to him wishing to savour her scent, were now open and on her, studying every detail of her flushed face.

"Penelope, why would you think I would take a mistress?"

"Well…"

She could not possibly tell him her reasons. He would think she was right and she most certainly could not take being told by him that she was undesirable–however true it was.

"Yes?"

"You see…"

"No I do not, which is why I need help seeing." Anthony said straight faced.

Pen gave him an annoyed look then quickly went back to being nervous.

"I will not satisfy you." She whispered.

"And what if I do not satisfy you?" Anthony did not miss a beat.

Penelope was flabbergasted.

"B-but…I beg your pardon, I was under the impression that women are not to take pleasure in the act."

"Who in the devil told you that?!" Anthony cried out.

Penelope was stunned by his reaction.

"Mother." She explained, "She has said very little about said topic but what she did tell me was to lay back and allow the man his pleasure. She also told me that it is a very painful act and that I would not enjoy it. Mama only told me because of–"

"That is the stupidest load of trash I have ever heard!" Anthony was all but shouting.

"My lord, please lower your voice–"

"Lay back and allow the man his pleasure–No! That is not how this works. The woman and the man–if done right–experience immeasurable pleasure." Anthony's eyes had gone dark as they scanned her. "Allow the man–what bollocks! You will do no such thing. If you are not pleasured you are to tell me, do you understand?"

"But–"

"No, Penelope, I will not be fought on this. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Penelope whispered, looking down at her ring, "But really I–"

Though they got no further before the carriage rolled to a stop in front of Aubury Hall.

Notes:

until tomorrow lovelies ;)

Chapter 11: Please Anthony ()

Summary:

Anthony gives Penelope a tour and they set some rules for their marriage.

And Anthony shows Pen marital bliss...on his knees

Notes:

I am too inpatient and I love you all too much to leave you on a cliffhanger.

For all my patient lovelies!

WARNING: smut ahead.

For those who are not into that I will place * before for a 'mild' warning -

Mild meaning talk of sex and heated kissing but NOT doing it

AND the for a 'STOP READING' so you know where to skip

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Penelope was beyond mortified of what had transpired between her and her husband less than an hour ago. Doubts, fears and nerves all washed over her and she felt like she was drowning with no one to help. As she got the full tour of Aubury Hall, Penelope refused to look to her right where her husband was, pointing out various rooms. Pen had obviously been here before but she was not allowed in some rooms for privacy reasons of course, but now that she was Lady Bridgerton, she had free reign.

The thought alone scared her but she would not let others see. That was something Penelope was very good at–hiding, whether that be her feelings, sneaking some food when her mother banned her from eating or whether that was hiding her Lady Whistledown writing. There was no need to hide anymore.

"And this room is your office." Anthony said, opening the door for her.

Penelope looked at him in awe. She had not expected that she would get her own office–her mother did not have one! Anthony wore an amused expression on his face as if laughing at her for being so shocked. Penelope was embarrassed but nonetheless flabbergasted. When she entered the room she gasped.

The room was twice the size of her old bedroom, bookshelves filled with books, two writing desks, comfortable sofas, plenty of windows for light, teatables and the most exquisite fireplace. Pen stepped further into the room and noticed how stunning the writing desks were. Both were filled with the most fine writing tools and perfectly expensive parchments.

Stunning wallpaper lined all of the walls and such magnificent paintings were hung up. Penelope pictured the nights and days she would spend writing in this room, burning midnight oil lamps just to get down all her ideas and all her notes.

"Eloise told me you are fond of writing and so I had this made specially for you. If the room is not to your liking then you are welcome to change it. I got most of the inspiration from what Eloise had told me you fancied–"

"This is truly for me?" Penelope asked, tearfully.

Anthony looked panicked that she was close to tears. It always made him anxious when women cried. He never knew what to do or where to look or how to help. Women seemed to cry about so many different things–hell, they even cried when they were happy which sounded rather illogical in his mind, but it seemed to make sense to women.

"Penelope, is it not to your liking? Perhaps the wallpaper–or maybe the–"

"Everything is too good to be true. I fear that I will wake up from this dream any minute now and my mother will call me for dinner." Penelope laughed through her tears.

Anthony's eyes darkened slightly.

"You shall not have to worry about your mother any longer, Penelope." He said.

Penelope was overwhelmed with gratitude that she threw her arms around Anthony and hugged him. His immediate reaction was to hug her back, which he did. Anthony did not realise how splendid it would feel to have Penelope–his new wife–to hold him and hug him. He vowed that he would make her happy everyday, have her smiling as brightly as she was now.

"Though while we have a moment of peace, I would like to discuss some rules I have for you as my wife." Anthony said, his voice rumbling.

Penelope instantly felt like all the blood drained from her face.

What if he forbids me from writing Whistledown? What if he controls my food portions like mama did? What if he hits me like –

"Y-yes, my lord?"

"First off you will call my Anthony because that is my name and I like to hear it when it comes from your perfect lips," Her breath quickened but she did not move from her place nuzzled into his chest. It was comfortable and safe, "The next thing; you will never wear anything you don't wish to, nothing that is so tight you cannot breathe, and your mother is not allowed to visit here unless I say so."

Pen was so very grateful for those rules that she squeezed him tighter.

"As my wife you have free reign to do what you wish as long as it is safe and you have someone with you. Penelope, your safety is my top priority." Anthony's hand came up to stroke her hair and it sent giddy tingles down her spine.

"Thank you, my–Anthony."

Anthony growled slightly.

"I like the sound of that… Your Anthony." He whispered, and Pen's breath caught.

"Do you have any more rules, Anthony?"

"Yes," She could hear him smiling, "You are to eat properly, you are to spend hours on end doing whatever you find joy in and you are to stop this silly notion that I would take a lover."

Penelope drew back at that. Her eyes were wide but his were hard and solid, she knew that she would not sway him. The fact that Anthony was willing to give up being satisfied for the vows he took made him all the more admirable in her eyes.

"I am deathly serious, Lady Bridgerton."

A shiver crawled up her spine.

"Yes, Anthony." She whispered, fearing that she would stutter if she said anymore.

"Now the last two rules;" One arm caged her to him and the other hand, lightly tilted her chin up to look him in the eyes. His fingers were calloused and rough on her fine porcelain skin but it felt so nice, so intimate. "You will sleep in my bed every night without fail."

Could her eyes get any wider?!

"And the last thing you need to know," His hand cupped her cheek gently as he caressed the smooth skin of her jaw with his thumb. "Penelope, I will never force you to have marital relations with me. When we consummate our marriage it will be on your terms, and with unhurried time. I will require an heir someday, but we are in no rush. I will not take what you are not willing to give, until then I hope that you will still allow me to hold you like this, and be in your company–which I find of late has become my new favourite companion."

This man was so selfless.

She drew back and her smile faded into a dazed look as she looked up at him.

"My lord?" Pen whispered.

"Yes?" Anthony asked, head tilted in question.

Penelope blushed slightly at the most adorable sight.

"I have a few rules myself."

"Yes?" He seemed amused again.

"At least once a week we will share tea and you will tell me about your day. I should also like to share meals with you whenever possible. On every Sunday we will share a walk in those magnificent gardens for a good duration of time." Penelope looked so stunning like this, in his arms as she listed off what she wanted in this marriage.

"That sounds doable, my darling."

"That." She breathed, flushed slightly.

"Pardon?" He was quite confused.

"I want that. For you to call me my darling ." Penelope blushed. Anthony's smile widened, "Also to share at least two nights in the library together, whether that be reading in silence or late tea–but I wish to read as I run my fingers through your hair."

That courage came rather out of nowhere. Penelope did not think she would have admitted how much she liked touching him, or being touched by him. In his arms she felt cared for and even cherished. Anthony's eyes darkened slightly at the most tantalising picture. She was still so innocent and yet she happened to make everything so sensual and tempting.

"My last rule." Penelope blushed and drew her hand up to his hair and sighed at the feel of it so smoothly running through her fingers. Anthony's body was reacting rather embarrassingly but he just prayed she didn't know what that hardness pressed against her meant.

"What is that, my darling?"

"You are to kiss me every morning and every night without fail."

Anthony's smile dropped and his eyes drifted to her most intoxicating lips. He had to admit that ever since he kissed her that morning, he had barely thought of anything else since. Her pillow soft lips were so perfect on his, like they were moulded to fit together.

"God, please ." Anthony groaned before pulling her close and connecting their lips again.

(mild warning)

Penelope felt that familiar sensation fill her stomach whenever Anthony kissed her. His strong arms around her kept her safe and his smell was addictive. Heat rose in her cheeks as she sighed with delight. It was almost a relief to have him close again, so intimately. Anthony had spoken to her about how she was supposed to tell him what she liked and what she didn't when it came to their marriage intimacies–this, she could confirm, was something she liked indeed.

Unlike at the church, Anthony did not hold back. Penelope gasped when Anthony pulled her even closer and walked her backwards until her bum hit the writing desk behind her.

His lips were soft to start but soon became hungry. Kissing at every angle until he pried her mouth open and plunged his hot tongue in her mouth. Penelope groaned as heat filled her stomach. Anthony growled and pressed further into her. Soon his lips trailed from her mouth to her jaw and then to her neck. Penelope was panting.

" Oh , that feels– oh! " She gasped when he nipped the tops of her breasts.

"You are a goddess, Penelope Bridgerton." Anthony moaned into her chest and licked his way from the top of her dress to her pulsepoint on her neck. He started sucking her neck and Penelope was a withering mess.

His kisses were one thing, but this was…this was heavenly.

"A-Anthony– oh yes. " Pen was breathless.

Anthony took hold of her hips and lifted her on the writing desk causing Pen to squeak. Once she was in a seated position Anthony continued to lavish her with hot kisses along her jaw, lips, neck and further down. The further down he went, the more verbal Penelope became. Her bosoms peaked up through her dress and Anthony groaned as if in pain before he made hasty work of kissing those soft tops of her breasts. Penelope let her head loll back as she panted in pleasure.

"Do you trust me, Penelope?" Anthony asked, his voice husky with desire.

"Y-yes." She replied breathlessly.

Anthony smiled darkly and got on his knees before her. Penelope was astounded by his actions and was confused as to what he was doing. She knew that some fiance's got down on one knee when proposing to the one they loved, but she was already his wife–so why was he on his knees?

Was this what I was supposed to be trusting him about?

"What are you doing?" Penelope asked, still flushed from his previous kisses.

"I am worshipping you." Anthony whispered before opening up her legs to him, "We may not be intimate yet but this is the next best thing. Just keep your legs open for me, darling."

Instinctively she shut them again with wide eyes.

"Ah, ah, ah," Anthony chastised with a sly grin, "You said you trusted me."

A cold hand was on her stocking covered ankles causing Penelope to gasp in shock. The thin fabric did little to hide the fact that Anthony's thumb started tracing lazy circles on her ankle, slowly…slowly making its way up her calf, up her knees until it was on her upper thigh, gently massaging the soft flesh there. Penelope did not dare speak, she was only wide eyed and confused.

Anthony tilted his head slightly, seeming to savour the feeling before gently lifting her dress higher up. The thought of Anthony seeing what lay under her dress was scandalous!

"My lord! What–"

"Are we forgetting rule number one?" Anthony told her, eyebrows arched.

"Anthony." She breathed, "What are you doing?"

"I shall not go any further if you do not wish it." Anthony said seriously.

Chocolate eyes bore into hers and Penelope felt as though time had stopped. There was no one else who existed in the whole world. It was only Anthony and Penelope Bridgerton–Oh how she loved the sound of that. She, a Bridgerton! Anthony was her husband–a very generous one, in more ways than one.

"I…I just…"

"Tell me." Anthony said gently, stroking his thumb over her knees.

"I do not…Anthony, I don't…" How could she say this delicately, "I do not love you."

Anthony did not even flinch at her words.

"I know, darling. And I am sorry that my brother was too stupid to take you and your love for granted."

Penelope's eyes widened in horror. "Y-you knew?!"

"That look on your face everytime he walked into a room, or if he was even brought up in conversation was almost impossible to miss. It is a look I know well." Anthony said, smiling sadly.

Anthony thought perhaps his explanation would make her feel better knowing that he loved someone also, when in fact it only made Penelope feel like her heart broke. Guilt flooded her and tears sprung to her eyes.

"And I took away your chances at love." Penelope cried out in sorrow.

"No, no you didn't." Anthony soothed, "It was only until recently that I realised that she is not who I love."

But he still loves another.

"Not all married couples love one another, I am just lucky enough that I get to be married to a bright, beautiful woman whom I call my friend." Anthony said softly, his brown eyes telling the same story as his lips, "Now may I continue?"

"Anthony, I…is what you are going to do…is that consummating?" Pen blushed.

"No darling," Anthony smiled kindly and kissed her hand gently, "Do you wish to consummate tonight?"

The way he spoke was not pressuring or unkind, it was a question that she had free reign to answer. Penelope knew that Anthony was kind and gentle, but she was terrified of the unknown act. Her mother would ask and she could not face the embarrassment–

"Do not think about your mother, Penelope." Anthony said sternly.

"How did you–?"

"In fact I never wish to think about your mother while I make love to you." Anthony shuddered.

"Make love?" Pen was so confused, "One cannot make love. Love is not something someone can create, it is something that grows inside of your heart, burning you from the inside out, moving you and…" Pen's eyes went wide as if understanding, "is making love the act of consummation?"

Anthony was looking halfway between amused and confused.

"Well, if that is the case then there is no need to fear because we do not love eachother–but then how did my parent partake in such–"

"Penelope, I am begging you to not bring up your mother when I am between your legs." Anthony made a face of disgust and Pen huffed out a laugh. "One does not have to be in love to do the marital act, but it is so much better with the person you love."

There was silence and she could almost hear the distant longing in his voice.

"Anthony," Pen whispered.

"Yes, my darling." Ant looked up at her with a content smile.

"I don't…I do not want to perform the act tonight." Pen said, blushing, just under her breath.

Penelope thought for some reason that Anthony would be fuming. Start breathing fire like the dragon many claimed him to be, but no…this man was no dragon, he was a prince…a selfless prince who knew just what to say to make any princess swoon.

"I am proud of you."

Her head that was bowed in shame, whipped up to look at her husband. He wore such adoration and care that she was in awe and all around emotional by this newfound tenderness. Out of all the husbands in the world…Penelope was blessed with the best of them all.

Anthony did not love her, that she knew, and she did not love him, which he also knew–but he was her friend. A friend and husband. What more could she ask for?

"Thank you for being understanding."

"I am sorry that you feel the need to thank me for understanding. Penelope, you deserve every bit of happiness." Anthony placed a gentle kiss on her knee, "Please forgive me for my neglect and attitude towards you sense the scandal, there is no excuse and I humbly beg your forgiveness."

Penelope ran her fingers through his hair causing him to groan slightly.

"Thank you, Anthony. Of course I forgive you." Pen then said, "Though perhaps I should have stayed upset, for if you knew you were in my bad graces you would continue to lavish me with those breathtaking kisses until I–"

Penelope wanted to laugh at his predictable behaviour but she was too busy in blissful paradise as their lips connected again. Anthony was on his feet, tilting her head up to meet his lips and she was ever so grateful for it. Sometimes when Penelope would feel excessively happy or tremendously sad she would start to play out her thoughts as Lady Whistledown. Anthony's kisses brought her to her knees.

Dearest Reader, it is with exceeding pleasure that I relay to you the responses from one Mrs Penelope Bridgerton–nae Featherington, as one Lord Anthony Bridgerton used one of his most valuable features–those devilish lips–to bring Penelope to the heights of passion. This author can assure you that no better feeling existed than that of Anthony Bridgerton's lips on his new wife, though if he continues his venture down Mrs Bridgerton's neck, this author will happily be proven wrong.

Oh! I was indeed wrong–so very wrong–ohh!

"I shall not go any further unless you wish it." Anthony murmured against her pulsepoint on her neck.

How was she to think straight with her husband's warm breath caressing her skin?! Some sliver of sense started flooding back into her and she was almost jolted back into her body. Anthony was asking her if he could continue his kisses and she had never been so tempted to get angry that he was even asking–her content moans of pleasure should have been enough of an invitation to never stop.

"Please." She breathed a moan as his teeth grazed the column of her neck.

"Please what , my darling? Tell me what you want?"

A tingle shot through her spine and settled in her core, embarrassingly so.

"Touch me, kiss me, just don't stop." Pen begged and tugged his hazelnut locks slightly as she tilted her head back to allow him better access to her neck, which was becoming increasingly more arousing.

(STOP READING IF YOU DON'T DO SMUT)

Anthony's devilishly charming smile was back on his face. His eyes drifted down back to her dress and continued to lift up the skirt until it was resting on her upper thighs. Penelope tried not to squirm or flush at the thought of him looking at her…down there. Mother always told her that no one was to ever look at her in nakes form, which she was more than happy to agree to considering Penelope thought very little of her body.

But Anthony seemed to enjoy her curves and her added weight, though she was curious as to why.

"As we spoke about in the carriage you are to tell me what pleases you and what does not. Lesson one–" Anthony got down on his knees and scooted closer to her until he was in between her legs looking up at her with the most devious grin on his face, "I will show you where that perfect little pearl of yours is that will have you screaming in pleasure."

Penelope was breathless with anticipation.

"Now, darling, relax and just feel ."

Before Penelope had time to respond, Anthony exposed her womanhood fully by lifting the dress up to her waist and ripping her pantaloons completely off, allowing him a full view of her red fuzz and the embarrassment of her weeping pussy. Anthony groaned and closed his eyes to savour the smell of her. Penelope dropped her jaw in utter shock at his reaction.

"I promise to make you feel so good, Pen." Anthony whispered before gripping her under thigh and nibbling her creamy legs, leaving small love bites to be sure, "I promise to be a good husband, my darling. I promise that you will never doubt that I care."

He means care in the friendship sense not the–

Penelope hissed at the feel of Anthony's warm breath and hot tongue swiping and kissing and licking over the tender skin of her thigh, slowly getting closer and closer to her sex. It was getting so much harder to breathe properly, especially when Anthony was making those spine tingling sounds.

Nothing would have prepared Penlope Bridgerton for the feeling of Anthony Bridgerton's hot, long, skilled tongue to trace the slit of her pussy. Penelope nearly screamed at the sensation. Out of instinct, Penelope gripped Anthony's hair with one hand and another hand grasped the desk for support.

" Oh! M-my lord, I– Oh! Anthony–please! "

Soon a dreadfully delicious kind of heat settled in her womanhood and it terrified her. Penelope was embarrassed to find that whatever Anthony was doing to her was causing her womanhood to weep in pleasure. That feeling was so foreign that Pen thought that something was wrong.

It felt as thought something was rising in her, something pleasurable and just divine, but she had to chase it. Penelope did not know what to do but her body seemed to be reacting on its own, seemingly knowing that to reach that heated feeling, she needed to rock her hips into Anthony's face. The thought made her blush but the action made her whimper.

"You are doing so well, darling." Anthony's praises only made her jerk into him faster.

A lewd sucking sound started reaching her ears as Anthony slurped her juices hungrily. Penelope had never felt such pleasure. Without her realising it, Penelope started riding his face trying to have him deeper and she found it only made the fire in her belly worse.

" A-Anthony– Oh! Help me." Pen sobbed.

"Tell me what you need, Pen." Anthony said, looking up at her through her legs. Penelope felt like such a harlot for thinking that he had never looked better than between her legs, kissing her most intimate lips.

"I do not k-know." She wanted to cry with the overwhelming sensation, "Just please h-help m-m-me."

"Tell me what your body wants, darling."

" Oh! That fire–just put out the f-fire– oh! There! Anthony p-please! "

Anthony had inserted one of his long digits in her tight pussy and Penelope was flushed and moaning helplessly in the throes of passion. Anthony thought that his wife would never have looked more stunning than when she was in her wedding dress at the altar with him but he was wrong…she would never look better than how she looked now; flushed a deep red, beads of sweat gathering on her forehead, riding his face as she chased out her pleasure.

Anthony got his thumb to join his other finger to work her clit and that had Pen sobbing in pleasure.

"That is your pearl, my darling. Does that feel good?" It was a rhetorical question because he knew the answer, but he still wanted her to get comfortable telling him what she liked and didn't.

" Oh Anthony I– So good–Oh! Please there–right there! Ugh that ohhhh! "

This sight made him painfully hard–her taste made him want to eat her out forever–those moans made him want to sink his manhood in her warm heat and fill her with his seed. Oh she would look perfect carrying his child. Her stomach swollen with growing life, her breasts filling with milk–ugh, but he would wait and be patient. For Penelope.

"That's it, my darling, chase that feeling," Anthony pumped harder and curled his fingers in just the right way having her moan loudly which turned into a gasp, "You look so beautiful, Penelope. Good girl, just like that."

Her pussy clenched on his fingers at his praise and he moaned, the vibrations sent chills up Penelope's spine.

"Anthony, please take away the burning–uhhh! Faster! Faster–ughhh! Don't stop–please don't stop! Oh! Oh! Ohhh! A-Anthony! ANTHONY! "

Her body shuddered helplessly as she reached her peak and Anthony helped her ride out her first orgasm, whispering words of encouragement and praise. Pen heard none of it, because by the time she came down from her high, she passed out.

Notes:

Soooo that happened.

Love to hear your thoughts...

That was also my first time writing smut so if you've got any tips

Until next time lovelies!

Chapter 12: The next day ()

Summary:

Anthony has an appetite ... for Penelope!

And Penelope does some exploring which thrills her husband

P.S don't visit newlyweds...Eloise

Notes:

Thank you all for being AMAZING! Next chapter and gotta say...I don't hate this one. I wrote a different version of this but I thought it progressed to fast so I had to slow things down a little.

Again for those who don't do smut I have warnings for you guys so you can skip over it ;)

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A most annoying and persistent noise started coming from the darkness. Penelope wanted to tell her sister to stop her racket, but Mama would surely yell at her for getting after Prudence. The noise was growing louder as Penelope started coming out of her sleeping state. She moaned as she stretched her arms, and she noticed how sore her joints felt.

Too much dancing.

Penelope laughed at her own joke.

By the time Penelope sat up in her room she observed that it was in fact very bright outside. She yawned and stretched again hoping to loosen up her stiff joints. She really couldn't understand why she felt so sore. Penelope just sighed and got up to get ready for the day, she would have to see her mother for wedding plans and go to the modeist for a fitting.

Oh, but in her dream the dress had looked so pretty on her. She only hoped that the real thing made her look just as pretty. Now that she had a mental picture, she could add it to her list of things she could dream about. But that was not all she had dreamed.

Good lord, Penelope was still flushed from the way that dream had done to her. She was sure she would never be able to look at Anthony in the eyes again–she would now only think of him with that devil's smile on his face and he sensually licked her nether regions. Penelope moaned at the memory. Her dream had felt so real.

After a few more moments just soaking in the memory of her dream, she got up out of bed and decided to wear her green dress. Mama hated the colour but at least it was easy to hide in because mama would only be looking out for her daughter's signature yellow dress. Besides Anthony likes green, does he not?

After she was dressed and brushed her hair, she went down stairs to the dining room. For some reason Penelope felt odd. The room arrangements and the dinning room placement seemed off. She knew this house but she could not seem to place it.

Those flowers at the table were Bridgerton flowers–but not the kind they had at Number Five, the kinds they only decorated Aubury Hall with. Aubury Hall?!

All of a sudden Penelope felt hands snake around her from behind and pin her to them. She gasped and went to scream but before she could, warm lips kissed the side of her neck in a feather soft touch making her shiver and hold her breath.

"Good morning, wife." Anthony's deep voice sounded so very sexy in the mornings.

Wife?!

Penelope could hardly think let alone speak, especially when Anthony was placing lazy kisses on her exposed neck and shoulder. The green dress was a modest one, with only the loose shoulders to show more skin than her others. Penelope was grateful for her higher bodice, especially after her mother kept getting her to lower them, it made her so very uncomfortable!

"Did you sleep well? You looked so peaceful in my arms last night." He said gently, kissing behind her ear.

Pen moaned and bit her lip before nodding.

"Has my darling wife lost her tongue?" Anthony asked, nipping her ear with his teeth.

Tongue–oh heavens! She needed to stop thinking of his tongue!

"What time is it?" Was the only response she could think to say.

Anthony chuckled and carefully pushed her red locks off of her shoulders to give him more room to feed on her delicate neck. The skin was so soft, almost as soft as a feather of the finest bird. He wanted to memorise every mark, every curve, every dimple on her gorgeous body.

"Noon." he murmured against her neck.

Penelope practically shot from his arms.

" Noon ?!" She cried.

"Yes." He seemed amused.

"You let me stay in bed until noon?!" Pen exclaimed.

Anthony's eyes hooded over and he tugged her to him until they were flush up against one another. The air was knocked from her by his speed but she was glad she had him to hold onto.

"Oh, sweet, innocent, Penelope," Anthony growled, "I would keep you in my bed for days if I could."

Her mouth fell open.

"But you must be hungry. Shall I call for some breakfast?" Anthony asked, his mood changing from flirty and sensual to smiley and considerate. Penelope couldn't keep up with his changes and simply nodded and murmured a thank you.

"Have you eaten?" Pen asked sweetly.

"I have, but I am craving something else."

"Oh?" Pen was curious.

"I have been dying to taste you again, my dear."

She felt her legs give way slightly. Anthony was there to keep her upright, but she was sure having him close only added to the predicament she was in–wet and needy. Mama would skin her alive if she saw how badly Pen needed him.

"I thought I was dreaming." Pen whispered breathlessly.

"Shall I prove to you that it was not a dream?" Anthony asked. Even though he made it sound like he was jesting, he was so desperate to taste her again. That woman was going to be the death of him; with her innocent eyes, adorable head tilts, stunning smiles, delightful blushes, silver tongued barbs and the most addictive moans Anthony had ever heard–and he had heard his fare share. Anthony was a rake after all–a reformed one now.

Pen wanted him– so badly , but she worried that he did not take pleasure in the act. She knew that he had vowed to make her feel good but she did not want him doing anything that he did not wish to do. Body screamed for him but her head told her to be patient.

You must tell him the truth–give him your secret before you give him your body.

"Anthony?"

"Yes?" Anthony asked, playing with the long tendrils of her hair.

"Have you seen Edwina?"

Penelope thought that Anthony would freeze or at worst get angry and stomp away. He was, after all, hours away from being engaged to the woman before they were found in that compromising position in the gardens. In Penelope's mind, Edwina must have been the object of his love–or former love, seeing as he confessed that he was not in love with that woman anymore.

Though in a different turn of events she saw him smile softly as he cupped her cheeks.

"I have." He said, "Why do you ask?"

Tears sprang to her eyes but she could not even explain why,

"Well…she was not at the wedding. I expressed to her that I would really–"

Anthony instantly felt horrible. Edwina had asked for him to tell Penelope about the reason she could not attend the ceremony but with all his time evading Pen and dealing with his family's strife about Colin leaving, all while planning his wedding he had no time to give her the news–and well there was last night…

"Oh my darling, forgive me." Anthony drew her close and hugged her, "I'm sorry it slipped my mind."

Penelope wrapped her arms around him and just allowed herself to feel the rise and fall of his chest.

"Pen, I am sorry. I had gone to see Miss Edwina and she had told me of you telling her what had happened that night at the party–which I also forgot to inform you about how you are an absolute saint." Anthony interrupted his explanation to plant a kiss on the top of her head, "Well she also told me to make sure you knew that she is in no way angry towards you and she wished to come but Kate–ehem, Miss Sharma, was keeping her from coming. Miss Edwina is very fond of you, my dear, and there is no ill feeling towards you."

Penelope looked up at him through wet lashes and Anthony was certain he had never seen such beautiful blue eyes in his life. They almost seemed to glow with colour.

It was Colin who was the traveller, Anthony had never gone on a trip around the world seeing as his father died when he was just nineteen years old, meaning there was no opportunity to live his childhood any longer. But the one trip he did take was to Greece in his young years with his father. He remembered the trip clearly, and as much as he loved the architecture and the cities, his favourite place was Kefalonia Island because it had the most beautiful crystal clear water that was almost completely transparent.

When he looked into Penelope's eyes, he felt as though he was back in Greece, floating in the Grecian waters surrounded by the warm sun beating down on his hot skin as the waves lapped around him. How could someone make you feel such things?

"You are certain?"

"Yes, my dear. In fact, she wished to inform you that she hoped to have tea with us," Anthony quickly added, "After we have had time together of course."

"Of course." Pen blushed, a smile on her face.

God, Anthony, how did you get so lucky?

"Penelope?"

"Yes?"

"Are you hungry?" He asked, head tilted remembering the time.

Penelope shook her head and blushed before snaking her hands up his shoulders to bury in his hair. Anthony sighed and closed his eyes, cherishing the feeling of his wife's hand in his hair. It was crazy to think that they had only kissed for the first time yesterday and yet she already knew how to make him melt at her touch.

"Not really," Penelope said, then added, "though I would very much like to help you with your insatiable hunger." Penelope said innocently.

Anthony's eyes flew open hooded with lust. She looked so innocent, so pure yet her words were so tempting and downright sinful. God, he wanted her. She was offering him something he was craving desperately.

"I am starving." Anthony growled before sweeping her up in his arms.

"My lord! You will hurt yourself."

"First off, my lord is not my name. Second off, I believe that we established you are the perfect handful." Anthony said, wishing desperately that she could see herself the way he saw her, "Now, where should I like my meal?"

Penelope giggled then gasped when he placed her bottom on the dining table, right where Anthony always sat; at the head. She sent him a confused look which only made him even harder. Last night was divine and by god was he as hard as a rock–but he was too busy tending to his fainting wife to do anything about his situation. After he had managed to get her out of her dress without seeing anything–which was torture–he placed her in his bed, which was now hers too.

How badly he wanted to satisfy himself that night, but he settled with wrapping her in his arms and nuzzling her close to his chest. Having Pen close was a feeling that grew a warm sort of contentment inside of him. Making her happy was slowly becoming his most favourite thing–and happiness came in many forms…orgasmic bliss was one of them.

"I shall take my meal like any other. At the dinner table." He said, standing in between her legs, gripping her thighs, not too tight but tight enough to add heat to her core.

The baritone in his voice made her very happy she was sitting down because she was sure her legs would give way if he kept looking at her like that and saying all that he did. This man was carved by the Greek gods and it was wholly unfair. The way his muscular shoulders were covered by all those clothes made her want to take them off and trace every muscle and bicep with her hands, mapping out his form in her mind.

A picture came to her mind before she could hide it away; Anthony sat in his chair, as she sat on his lap, straddling him, and taking off his cravat to expose his neck to her. Then, Penelope lent down and licked that tender skin just as he had done with her. She wanted to make him feel good too.

" Please–ugh, almighty, I want that too."

Penelope gasped when she realised she had spoken her fantasy aloud.

"But for now, I am ravenous ." Anthony said, catching her lips with his.

Could one really drown in a kiss and yet feel as though the other person's lips were their lifeboat also? Anthony knew how to make her feel so good. He was selfless when it came to his kisses and for that she could not have been more grateful. Penelope never expected she would ever kiss anyone in her lifetime and yet here she was–married and being thoroughly pleasured by her new husband. Those lips knew just what to do and Penelope was more than happy to be guided by her teacher.

Excitement grew in her as his lips travelled lower. She felt sinful for enjoying such an act of him licking and nipping her neck and jaw–but she was too thrilled by it all to give a damn. Anthony was not called the rake for no reason, and although she feared one day he would no longer be reformed, for now she was exceedingly enjoying that he knew his way around the woman form.

(mild warning - there is still some plot below)

"Lesson two, my darling." He bit into her neck harder than before eliciting a cry of pain but then a moan of pleasure as he sucked and licked over the bite to soothe the pain. His hot breath felt devine on her skin.

Before long Anthony's hands trailed up her thighs, up her hips, resting by her ribs, cupping her underboobs. A breathless gasp came from her throat and Anthony used his face to burrow under her neck so her head was tilted back.

"For this lesson I will be exploring you further."

"Wh-what more could y-you explore?" Pen breathed.

Anthony smirked against her creamy neck. A most intoxicating smell. Her taste, her look, her smell–god she was perfect! That goddess-like body of hers was worthy of worship and he wanted to worship every freckle, every blush–just every inch of her.

"So much more, my darling." Anthony's husky voice came close to her ear, kissing gently before moving further down until he reached the peaks of her breasts peeking up from her most stunning dress. As gorgeous as it was on her, he wanted so badly to rid her of it. "You will tell me if you do not like what happens next–"

"I believe we have established my trust for my new husband." Pen breathed out a laugh.

That was the wrong thing to say. He went positively rabid after her use of the term. Anthony drew back and observed his flushed wife who was positively panting with pleasure. It turned him on greatly to see what his attention was doing to her.

Anthony looked her in the eyes as he slowly started pulling down her bodice, lower and lower until Pen made a noise that sounded like hesitation. He stopped immediately.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked.

"I…it is only…my breasts are…"

How was she supposed to tell him that her mother constantly criticised the stretch marks and the size of Penelope's bountiful bosoms to the point where Penelope utterly hated them. The fact that he now made a move to expose them made her frightened but he told her not to bring up her mother as one of his rules . Oh but she was not brave enough to let him see what lay underneath the dress.

"You can tell me, dearest."

"My bosoms are just…very…large and not like the women you usually–" Pen cut herself off realising that she may have just insulted him about his previous experience as a rake. Her eyes were wide and she waited for Anthony to growl and start getting mad but he did quite the opposite.

Anthony chuckled and in an unexpected turn of events…kissed her gently on the lips.

"I am very aware about the… ehem size of your breasts, Penelope." His eyes trailed hungrily to her chest before looking back into her eyes kindly, seeing her anxiety, "If you should not like to continue then I understand and again implore you for your bravery."

He made her feel like a lioness when she only felt like a mouse.

"Though I can assure you that it is no burden on my part and your form does something to me that no gentleman should ever speak aloud, especially in the presence of a most innocent and intoxicating goddess, such as yourself." His voice had gone down a few octaves and that sent chills flooding up her spine.

"You think me innocent?" Anthony saw the sly glint in her eye hidden behind that cute smile.

"I find you…lacking in some experience." He stated diplomatically.

True.

"Perhaps I will be allowed to add some experience to my growing knowledge."

"Shall I help you?" He asked, his voice vibrating through his whole body, "I could help you experience new feelings–passion so great you feel as though you could just die with pleasure, an unquenchable thirst for release, an overpowering sense of bliss and a devastating need for your partner."

Penelope was in awe of the picture Anthony painted. It was a gorgeous picture, one that she admired and wished to be part of, the kind that looked so real and reachable, yet there was always the reality that the painting hung on the wall–it wasn't real. But…but Anthony made it sound so real, something that was not fiction, but fact.

"Will you allow me just that? Will you allow me to be your guide in these new waters?"

"I wish for no one else."

"Then relax," Anthony took hold of the front of her dress, "and make sure I hear how much you are enjoying yourself."

(STOP READING IF YOU DON'T DO SMUT)

A most charming smile lit up his face as his wicked hands took hold of her breasts through the fabric and squeezed just enough for Penelope to feel it. The feeling shot a bolt of electricity through her spine and down until a warm throb could be felt by her dampening centre. A breathy moan came from his lips as he drew closer, continuing his touching but now he drew his mouth down on hers, reassuring her that he was here and he would care for her.

When Pen arched her back into him and pulled his hair slightly she noticed his gentleness break away into something much more determined and needy. He almost seemed as needy as she was. Lips, teeth, tongue–anything and everything to get closer. Without realising it, Penelope had started to rid him of his cravat and was soon met with the most chilling feeling of his glorious neck.

Pulling away from his kiss she drew him closer and placed a feather soft kiss on his neck causing him to place a particularly hard squeeze on her right boob.

"Penelope." He moaned.

"Yes, Anthony?" she breathed against his neck before peppering the rough skin with kisses. It was most intoxicating indeed. Now she knew why he enjoyed those kinds of kisses.

He hissed in a breath when she grazed her teeth against the column of his throat. Oh how quickly the blood had rushed from his head further south was downright embarrassing! But god did she know what she was doing.

"Ugh, Pen." He moaned again.

"Tell me, my lord." Pen whispered into his skin. Her touch made him feel like he was burning, "Tell me what you want and I will give it to you."

Her. He wanted her! But no, he had promised her time and that was what he was going to give her–but that was not all he was going to give her. Anthony wanted to finally dig into that delicious pussy and taste her soft breasts–god were those breasts a tease, they seemed to be on perfect display in that dress–creamy and bursting out the top while she panted at his caresses.

A minute passed of perfect torture and Anthony had had enough. He was going to ravish her on this very table if he did not get it together quickly.

"I need to kiss you."

"Please." She begged.

Anthony pulled away and ripped her bodice down until her most perfect mounds bounced free. Penelope gasped but before she had time to cover the most beautiful set of bosoms he ever laid eyes upon, he dove down and placed one of her peddled nippled in his warm and waiting mouth.

The sounds that came from her throat were wicked but he was by no means an angel and praised every one of those moans, whimpers and gasps. So soft and perfect in his mouth. Anthony turned and gave the other breast the attention it deserved all while caressing and pinching the other breast.

"Oh! Hmmm– oh! Antho–mmmm." Penelope's head was thrown back in pleasure as one hand held on to his shoulder to keep her grounded and the other was buried in his hair, pushing him further into her chest–which, believe me, was Anthony's idea of heaven.

"Perfect. Oh god they are exquisite, devine, magnificent– oh just perfect, Penelope." Anthony praised her form.

Anthony could not understand why she was made to feel bad about her most delicious body. Never in all his adventures and rake-ish business had he ever been so turned on or so in awe of a woman's body–not even Siena, and he was in love with the woman for heaven's sake! Not even Kate and her form was quite lovely…but nowhere near as tempting as the woman before him.

"You ughhhh–oh! You exaggerATE! Anthonyyyy."

"I most certainly do not, my darling."

His endearment turned her to putty in his hands–literally.

A familiar urgency set into her core but Penelope was too shy to beg him to help her hollow centre–though even without his attention there , she felt as though he may very well make her feel that breathless feeling again. The one that terrified her and yet it made her feel so powerful.

There! That feeling!

"Ugh Anthony– I oh please! "

"Good girl, very good girl." Anthony praised.

"I neeeeeed –"

"I know, my darling, I know." Anthony slinked one hand downwards towards her nether regions as he bit down lightly on the soft flesh of her breasts. His hand had someone made its way under her dress and cupped her soaking womanhood.

"Thank you–ughmmm thank you! " Penelope sobbed, rocking into his hand feeling positively on fire. "Anthony–ugh oh! Th-there oh–there! Please– "

(Smut over)

Before Penelope could reach the point of no return the doors to the dining room flung open to reveal her new sister with a look of pale horror on her face; Eloise Bridgerton standing beside a snickering Benedict Bridgerton.

"Oh my god! "

Notes:

Until next time lovelies! ;)

Chapter 13: What was so urgent?! … oh

Summary:

Eloise has a million questions, Benedict can't stop laughing, Penelope is embarrassed, and Anthony is pissed AND horny!

But

Tragedy strikes.

Notes:

Thank you all for your love, kudos and comments!!! You all rock!

I hope y'all enjoy!

P.S I'm thinking of a sequel (Phillip and Eloise anyone??)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?!" Anthony roared at Benedict who sucked his lips in to look like fish as to keep from laughing.

Poor Penelope was beetroot red with embarrassment and desperately tried to fix her appearance when her lust filled mind turned sane again. Anthony was furious and damn horny which did not help his anger towards his siblings in any way. He also knew that Benedict would be fully aware of what newlywed couples do, making it even worse that he would bring Eloise–Eloise, of all the siblings it had to be her!

"What the bloody hell are you doing to her?!" Eloise looked ill.

"Language Eloise!" Anthony chastised. His mother would kill him for this.

"Not to be alarmed, sister, Anthony is only–"

"My office! Now!" Anthony interrupted Ben who rolled his eyes and huffed.

"Eloise, needed to talk to Penelope." Ben shrugged before glancing at Pen, "Hello sister."

Penelope was blushing harder by the minute. She was hot and bothered but also she had never been so embarrassed in her whole life. The thought of them hearing–but also seeing–poor Eloise! Benedict did not seem to care one whit, but poor Eloise was so very disturbed.

Thank god it wasn't my mother!

"Hello." Penelope squeaked.

She realised she was still on the table and jumped off. Anthony looked at her and looked as though he was about to pout. Clearly he was just as riled up by what had happened–or was supposed to happen if they had not been so rudely interrupted. Penelope had only been a wife one day and yet she was so desperate for his touch.

"It was so urgent that you had to come and interrupt our—" Penelope sent him a look which stopped him. He then turned to Ben, "Shame on you for bringing our sister–our innocent and unmarried sister here when you knew–"

Benedict feigned hurt, "Brother, you insult me." he winked at Pen who failed to hold back a laugh. The laugh was purely nerves and someone needed to defuse the tension. "Besides, how was I supposed to know that you would be so eager to–"

"Finish that sentence and I will take your inheritance." Anthony growled. Penelope gasped.

"The life of a painter does mean I needn't many expenses, brother, and besides I was never into the hullabaloo of being the spare." Ben was clearly unafraid of his brothers wrath…or just plain stupid.

"Enough of this garbage!" Eloise shouted "Tell me what you were doing to Pen! She was clearly crying out for you to stop you absolute rake ! How could you behave like such a monster!?"

Anthony glared, Ben bit his lip, and Penelope's mouth hung open. Her cries were not in any way begging for him to stop–quite the contrary, she was almost threatening him that if he did not stop she would find a way to make his life miserable.

God I am still so desperate for release!

"Eloise, it is not as it looks." Penelope finally spoke. "P-perhaps we can talk in private? That way you may also tell me what you–"

"You are too good, Pen, trying to make sure my brother is protected, but not this time. Anthony has been married to you but one day and he cannot act like a gentleman for even that time–No, he will explain and own up to his sins like a man or face me on the duelling ground!" Eloise was drawing threateningly closer to Anthony who was straight faced and impassive.

"El, really that is not–"

"Eloise, quit this madness and–" Anthony grumbled.

"Penelope, you are coming with me until I know you are safe with my brother–"

"Eloise–" Penelope tried desperately to help Eloise see reason but soon El grabbed her arm and started marching her away from her husband. Penelope was so shocked by the turn of events.

"Give me back my wife." Anthony's tone sent chills up Pen's spine.

"So you can hurt her more? I think not!" Eloise growled. "I had never heard something worse than my friend crying out for you to stop your torture, brother! I cannot believe you would hurt her so–"

"I was not hurting her–"

"He was not hurting me–"

Both Anthony and Penelope said at the same time. Benedict could not hold back his laughter at the whole thing. Clearly he got a kick out of El's rage and his brother and new wife's mortification which did not go down well with all three he was laughing at.

"Oh really, then what was he doing to you?" Eloise looked directly at Penelope.

The fact that Penelope had only just learned about chest kisses and the pleasure they possessed was going to be impossible to explain–especially to her best friend who was also her new sister…who also knew just as much as Pen did when she was unaware of marital relations. Eloise and Penelope owned one mind–and if the roles were reversed and Eloise was explaining the fire that crept through her to such intimate touches, she surely would believe it was El being overdramatic.

"I…El, you see…" She looked over to Anthony for any kind of help but he seemed just as lost, "Your brother was helping me explore."

Ben sucked in a breath so hard that he started a coughing fit and Anthony glared at him. Benedict was acting like a child and Anthony was about ready to kick them both out so he could finally finish what he had started with his wife! Damn them for interrupting.

"Explore?" Eloise asked sceptically, "And what kinds of explorations have my best friend screaming for my brother to stop and groaning in pain?! Penelope I want you to be safe and that is clearly not with my brother–"

Tears were streaming down her friend's face and Penelope knew she had to explain fully even if it scarred her. Eloise would fear for Penelope from her dying days if Penelope did not share with El what had indeed transpired between them.

"El, I will explain it all, I promise." Penelope gripped her best friend's cheeks gently, "If you cannot trust your brother's word, trust mine–though he is telling the truth. What you saw…

Anthony was fighting between the urge of stopping her and wanting to hear what she had to say. How could she explain? Eloise was innocent and the fact that she saw her older brother sucking her best friends chest like a newborn baby was definitely not something he could think up an excuse for.

"What you saw what Anthony making me feel good." Penelope blushed.

It was harder knowing that Benedict was in the room and he understood what exactly had just taken place. It was even harder that he was practically in stitched about it all.

"But…but you were asking him to stop."

"No, Eloise, I was not." Penelope said kindly, "Have you ever–"

"Penelope Bridgerton, I know you are not about to ask my sister–"

Penelope laughed, "Of course not, Anthony. I am explaining something." Pen turned away from her horrified husband and back to the curious Eloise, "When you play Pall Mall together, and you get the ball through the hoop, you feel like shouting because you are so happy…it fills you with a feeling that you just need to get the ball through the hoop again and again because it is a rush?"

Ben bit his lip trying not to think of what kind of Pall Mall they were playing.

"Yes." Eloise said hesitantly.

"And then when you win? You feel like screaming with victory–it prolongs the pleasure."

Again El nodded.

"Well that very same feeling…the one that makes you want to shout with joy and cry to the rooftops your victory at winning…Your brother was showing me that kind of feeling." Penelope had almost forgotten that the man himself was only a few steps behind her.

The room was rather quiet as they let eloise process what had just been said. Although the concept made sense to El, it still confused her how anything could make you feel better than Pall Mall victory. Shrugging she just nodded. Penelope sighed, feeling relieved that she would not have to go into embarrassing detail.

"Now, what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

El took a deep breath and looked over at her brother and then back at her friend. She nodded and then rummaged through her pockets to produce a letter. Penelope's face fell and she felt as though the room was swaying when she saw that it was addressed to her…from Crane. Lord Phillip Crane.

Marina's husband?

"The letter arrived for you, it was marked urgent." Eloise said, shuffling nervously.

Pen took the letter gratefully and tried to smile but she saw by the look on her friends face that Eloise was just as nervous for the contents as Pen was. Ignoring the address she quickly opened the letter and found another folded letter inside, again with her name written on it, but that letter held Marina's handwriting. Pen knew Marina's writing well, because she had seen some of the letters she had written to George–her first love.

Instead of opening the letter from Marina, she read the letter from Sir Phillip Crane first.

Dear Penelope Featherington,

I am first to congratulate you for your upcoming marriage. My best wishes for your health and happiness.

I am sorry to have to give you this news, but seeing as you are Marina's cousin and she spoke very fondly of you I fear I must pass on some grave news.

It is with a saddened heart that I must inform you that my wife has died after two long nights of fighting a fever. The illness of mind had just as much to do with her illness in physical health, seeing as she had yet to get over the death of my brother and her long lasting love for him. It was that very grief that drove her mad with misery, and seeking any form of relief from her sorrow she tried to drown herself. It was I who dragged her from the lake but by the time the doctors were called I knew that she would not make it.

Marina always spoke highly of you, Miss Featherington, and always with a smile on her face which is why I write to you, and want you to know that I tried to save her–

Penelope could not read any further.

Marina was dead? She had tried to kill herself?! No, no, no, no!

"What? What does it say?" Eloise asked, seeing the tears in her friend's eyes.

"Marina…" Penelope croaked, feeling so very faint. Anthony was by her side in seconds. All smiles from Ben evaporated. Eloise gripped her friend's arm to ensure she was alright.

"What? What happened?" El asked, very concerned why Penelope reacted that way.

"She…Oh god, no." Penelope's knees gave out, but before she could hit the floor Anthony gripped her to keep her standing.

All hope of reconciling with her cousin was taken from her and only misery ensured. Penelope gripped the lapel of Anthony's coat and sobbed in his chest as she clutched the letter desperately as if letting go would mean Marina was truly gone. They may not have parted on good terms but that did not mean that Penelope did not love her cousin.

Death came to all. Penelope just did not think that her cousin would be taken from her before they could make things right between them. If only she had known–

"My darling, you are scaring me. What has happened?"

She did not want to say it. If she said it then it would be true. But it just couldn't be true–it was all some lie, perhaps some cruel trick to make Pen feel guilty about exposing Marina's pregnancy. If it was indeed a trick to make her feel guilty, it was doing just that. But Marina was not like that, nor was Sir Phillip, granted she did not know him well, but from what she saw, he was a good man.

"Marina is d-dead!" She wept harder knowing now that it was true. Marina was gone. Nothing could bring her back, not even Penelope's apology.

Eloise gasped and Anthony squeezed her tighter to hold her close. Benedict looked stricken. None of them knew Miss Thomson well apart from Colin's retellings and some light interactions but none of them wished her ill, even after she had lied about her condition. Anthony was upset, to be sure, that was his brother who was heartbroken, but because she was Pen's cousin he never held it against her.

The woman's passing was clearly devastating for Penelope and he hurt for his wife. She had such a big heart that loved much, but that also meant it hurt just as much when the people she cared about hurt or injured her. This would affect Penelope for long to come, Anthony thought.

"I should have gone to her, I could have done something to free her of her torment–"

"There was nothing you could have done." Anthony soothed.

Eloise was fighting tears herself and Ben placed his arm around her. Eloise never handled the news of death very well, especially after her father had died when she was so very young, the grief that engulfed her was too tremendous and too serious for a child of her young years to experience. The way of the world was cruel and vile, especially for the young and naive.

Benedict was much better at handling loss, though it still brought back nasty memories of his father. Although he had voiced this to someone, Benedict had seen his father, seen what Anthony and the servants had tried so desperately to hide from the Bridgerton children. His mother's wails and the girls sobs were enough to drive him hollow with mourning, but he did quite the opposite.

Instead of marrying grief Benedict carried it with him as a withering bookmarked flower, one that you carry with you but doesn't ruin you. Ben took that grief and instead changed it to happiness so he would laugh and play without fear of dishonouring his fathers name, because he knew his father–he knew that Edmund Bridgerton would want him to be happy and do what brought him joy.

Pen was well aware of grief and death, her father died last season and that had been heartbreaking, along with Colin leaving for Greece without even calling in on her to see how she was faring with her father's death–hell even Anthony and Benedict visited with El and Franny. But the death of her father pierced her already shattered heart. Pen was not close with her father, though she loved him, it was a strange and natural love that was a smile at the dinner table, a rare kiss goodnight, a book suggestion when she told her family she was off to the library with Eloise. Her father loved her she knew, in his own way–and it may not have been the Bridgerton kind of love, but it was love.

This felt like again someone had stabbed her heart. Marina was family, and she was her friend. They bonded so well even with all the hiccups and tiffs along the way. And now she is gone.

If I had never stopped her and Colin then perhaps she would be happy!

"It is all my f-f-fault! If I had–"

"You are not responsible for–"

"She has children! They are motherless–"

"Penelope, you are not to be blamed." Benedict said,.

"I…I ruined her life."

"What happened had nothing to do with you–"

Penelope drew away from Anthony and turned to Ben who was not making her feel any better despite his kind attempts. His help only seemed to make her feel guilty to the point of sorrowful anger. Pen thrust the letter at his chest and looked angrily at him.

"Read the letter and tell me that Marnia trying to end her own life is not something to do with the fact that I exposed her to the ton! She could have been happily married to Colin if I was not so lovestruck and utterly heartbroken."

Eloise was shocked by her friend's response.

"But that was Lady Whistledown not–" Ben said

"I am Lady Whistledown!" She shouted.

Notes:

Until next time :)

Chapter 14: A Name had Never Sounded so Horrid

Summary:

Anthony and Penelope have it out...

Notes:

As always my lovelies...Thank you so much for being so supportive! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

A bit sad this one...but things will brighten up soon (I hope)

I hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It had been a week. One whole week since the letter from Sir Phillip. One whole week since Eloise and Benedict barged into Aubury Hall. One whole week since Penelope had confessed her secret and it was not getting any easier to forgive her.

"B-but–no, you cannot be." Benedict laughed unconvincingly, "Because that would mean that you–"

"Exposed Daphne and Simon, ruined my family all while revealing Marina's pregnancy, thus breaking Colin's heart in the process. Unveil the truth of some vile acts in the ton, thrusting scandal on my family all while hiding at the edge of every ballroom –yes that would mean that was all me." Pen said, through tears.

Eloise looked unaffected and Penelope was fighting the urge to run to her friend and beg her not to be cross but El did the most strange thing. "I knew it was you."

All eyes turned to Eloise in shock.

"Y-you knew?" Penelope asked.

"Why couldn't you have shared that with me? I wanted you to be the one to tell me, Pen! Finding out was hard enough, but knowing you were keeping it from me was even worse…there were so many times that I saw you getting ready to tell me and…I felt so betrayed." Eloise said, hurt lacing every corner of her voice.

"Eloise–"

"I am so sorry about Marina, Pen. Truly I am." El took her friend by the shoulders and embraced her, "Though I cannot yet forgive you for what you have done. To my family, to the ton–no the ton could kiss my riding boots for all I care–what I care about is the lies. The lies, Pen."

Benedict was stunned silent by what was happening around him.

"Until I have sorted my thoughts, I want you to know that your secret is safe with me, even though you did not think it could be. I want to prove to you that I am worthy to…I thought perhaps I was but–"

"Eloise–"

"Clearly not."

Penelope would have preferred that Eloise shout and scream at her, not be rational and sweet. It broke her heart into a million pieces–first losing her cousin and now losing the trust of her most beloved friend. This was also different from the garden scandal where El would not talk to her–it was different because Penelope was in the wrong.

With a tearful kiss on Pen's cheek, Eloise dragged Benedict away with her to head back home. Though the last thing Penelope heard before the door closed on her and her husband was Eloise's horrid wet sob.

Now Anthony was in his office, as he often was now to escape the stares of his staff. Ever since that day, he just hid away. He could not look at her for fear he would shout and demand she stop her writings.

"I am going to go to my office–" Anthony said a little while after Ben and Eloise were gone, as if in a trance. Penelope looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Anthony? Anthony, please talk to me." Pen pleaded.

Gulping he turned to her, seeing her differently.

"I must deal with some things in my office but I will have Cook prepare you some food."

Her heart flew to her throat at the thought of him leaving.

"That is alright, I am not hungry anymore." Penelope whispered.

Anthony gave her a stern look, "You will eat something even if I have to feed you myself, Penelope."

He knew her too well, and he knew her habits forced on her by her mother. That was one of their rules, she would eat properly and plentifully to keep her healthy, though she did not like that rule much knowing that her mother would still find ways to comment on her weight and size. It was, of course, for that very reason that Anthony had made that a rule.

"Yes, my lord."

Anthony sighed and tilted her chin up to look at him.

"My name is still Anthony, whether I am happy or not." He joked, smiling–though it was to be noted that his smile was so sad compared to earlier. She merely nodded but that wasn't good enough for him, "I need you to say my name, Penelope."

"Anthony." She whispered.

"Thank you."

And without another word, Anthony swept from the room, leaving Penelope standing in the dining room regretting ever picking up her quill in the first place.

He reread every article, every paragraph, every sentence now only hearing Penelope's sweet and innocent voice speak such venomous words. Penelope was very quiet and often stayed in her office or read in the library–mostly to stay away from Anthony and to mourn the loss of her cousin, thinking that he wanted to be away from her.

Everytime he asked the servants where she was and they told him she was in her writing room, Anthony instantly felt his blood boiling, first with anger thinking that perhaps she was writing more cruel things about him and his family, but that soon simmered down until after a few calming breaths. Penelope may have lied and done horrible things…and by god did he want an explanation, but he did not want to shout out of anger, he wanted a clear head before all was unfolded for him.

Anthony threw his head in his hands and groaned. Every second spent pondering about Lady Whistledown was tortuous. He wanted to be close to Penelope, he wanted to hold her and kiss her, and just listen to her–but he could not hear her beautiful voice without also hearing Lady Whistledown.

As promised they ate dinner together every night and slept together every night, though Pen would always turn in early hoping to fall asleep before he arrived. It was to be noted that she always slept to the far left giving Anthony almost the whole bed, but he did not want that–he wanted her to snuggle into his chest as they drifted off to sleep together.

This week was agony!

"Blast it all!" Anthony shouted angrily.

"Oh." he heard a voice from the door.

His head turned to see that it was the woman had not stopped thinking about.

"Penelope." He stood instantly, fixing his coat and cravat, "Forgive me I–"

"My apologies–"

Penelope chuckled nervously when they spoke over the top of one another.

"How can I help you?"

He cursed himself for sounding so formal. The sheen in her blue eyes told him that she also noticed his formality and stiffness, but instead of remarking on it, she just smiled–though it looked like it broke her heart to do so.

"I only came to ask you something, but it seems that I am interrupting–"

"No, come in." Anthony rose from his chair and gestured for them to sit by the fire on the red velvet sofa. She nodded gratefully and took the seat with hesitation. Anthony noticed the tremor in her hands but did not remark on it. Although his hurt was still bone deep, he did not want her to be uncomfortable in his presence.

Once they were both seated–much farther apart than he would have liked he might add–he nodded.

"What was it you wished to speak about?"

Pen cleared her throat and looked down at her hands.

"Well, I received a letter from Sir Phillip Crane about…" Taking a deep breath she continued, "About Marina's funeral. He has invited me to join seeing as she is my cousin…was my cousin." Anthony saw how hard this was for her and he once again put his hurt aside and admired her bravery. "What I am asking is; may I go and attend the funeral with my family? Sir Phillip invited you also but I thought–"

"I would like to join." Anthony replied. "She was my family also. Well seeing as she was your cousin."

Pen nodded, although her head was spinning with disbelief. She knew that he did not want to go, nor did he have any wish or desire to…no, she knew that the only reason he would come was because he was going to protect her, from her family and from her misery.

Although she wanted nothing more than to embrace him she knew that her touch would burn him–or at least that was what it would feel like. The thought burnt her own heart and set it aflame, crumbling to ashes only to be washed away by her tears.

"My lord?" Her voice broke.

The only way she could tell he was still alive was when he flinched slightly and looked away from her.

"When is the funeral?" Anthony asked, clearing his throat still holding Pen's shaking hand.

"Sir Phillip said three days from now."

It was still so real.

"I have not been able to get in contact with Colin." He said, not meeting her eyes, "He did not leave me anything to inform me of his whereabouts." Anthony lied.

Penelope merely nodded, letting a few stray tears fall down her cheeks. Hurt filled Anthony. He wanted to be there—hell he was trying his best not to turn into a monster about it all…but part of him needed to yell and scream after all she had put him through as Lady Whistledown. It was for that very reason that he tried to stay away from her.

Pen nodded and rose to leave. Something in Anthony snapped.

"For god sakes, Penelope, why would you do something so evil?!"

Penelope flinched once he started yelling. Anthony was not even registering what he was saying but he could not seem to stop himself, even though he wanted to–by god did he want to. He could not look her in the eye because he would feel guilt for shouting.

She should be guilty–NOT you!

"Why would you do something so vile?! Something to destroy others' lives?!" Anthony rose from his chair and slammed his hand down on the coffee table next to him causing Penelope to jump but still he continued. Penelope's eyes were wide with fear and hurt. Those ocean blue eyes were shimmering with tears.

"Those words could have sullied my family on multiple occasions, do you know that? You dragged your family through the mud with all those articles you wrote–I reread everyone and each one could have had your family packing due to scandal. Is that what you wanted?! To have your family cast out?!"

"Of course not–" She croaked through the tears.

"Then why , damn it?!"

"Because!"

"Because why?! "

"I…I–"

Anthony drew closer.

"Do you know how many lives you ruined with your words? How many marriages you destroyed with your paragraphs?! How many gentlemen and women whose reputations are soiled because you could not keep your damn mouth shut?!"

Penelope came to life with that very final sentence. His words angered her and petrified her–not so much the words, but his tone and the fact he slammed his hand down on the coffee table again.

"Anthony Bridgerton, don't you dare preach to me!" Penelope straightened, eyes turning icy cold, "Those people ruined their own lives, those couples ruined their own marriage, and those gentlemen and women –so you call them–tarnished their own reputations, I merely brought their wickedness to light. Lady Whistledown never lied, she exposed the truth–"

His blood boiled with rage.

"That was never your truth to share!"

Penelope stepped closer to him this time, not backing down.

"So the truth is only allowed to be shared when it benefits you then?"

"That is a lie and you know it."

"No, it seems I don't, my lord." She hissed. "Because the way you portray the truth is selective. It was okay for me to share what a horrid man Nigel Berbrooke was?"

"That was different–"

"How? Because it benefited you and your family?" Penelope was just as mad as her husband, "The truth hurts, but in the end it is still the truth. I've exposed monsters, set up love matches, and–"

"And hurt people, Penelope. That should not merit reward. There is no good way of spinning that you have crushed the lives of many a soul–"

"Some of those people were soulless, Anthony!"

"What would you know of soulless?!!" Anthony shouted, snapping his head to her.

"I know so much more than you give me credit for, Anthony Bridgerton!" Penelope matched his tone, "For one, you will never know what it is like to wake up knowing your mother despises your very existence! How soulless must one be to hate their own child?! You will never know the fear of entering a ballroom for fear of being sold off to some rich titled baron or earl. People are not things you get to swap and trade because it benefits their families! You will never ever know what it is like to be thrown into a society that doesn't see you! Goddammit, Anthony, you get to run around with your whores and opera singers–"

Anthony gripped Pen's hand roughly causing her to start.

"Don't you ever mention Siena again, Miss Featherington."

Penelope was astounded. Never had her maiden name felt like a slap to the face until it came from her husband's lips. She left Featherington behind–well as far behind as was allowed by her mother–the day she married Anthony.

By the look on his face he only just registered what he called her. Before he could open his mouth to apologise, she beat him to it and snatched her hand away.

"Forgive me, Lord Bridgerton , it seems as though I forgot my place."

Anthony looked stricken. He moved to reach her but she pulled away so he could not touch her. Any thought of his touch now angered her. Penelope wanted to get away from him. Far away.

How far is Italy, I wonder?

"Pen, I–"

"Excuse me, Lord Bridgerton , I feel a headache coming on." Penelope ignored the tears falling down her flaming red cheeks and shook off his attempts to catch her hand. He called after but she just fled, wishing to be so very far away.

Notes:

Until next time lovelies! ;)

Chapter 15: A funeral, a talk and an affair

Summary:

Penelope goes to the funeral and gets hounded by her horrid Mama.

When she gets home she goes to confront Anthony but is met with a most horrifying sight...

Notes:

To all my amazing loyal readers this is for you all! Sorry I didn't update yesterday! Work was crazy busy!

Yay for Pen because she has a backbone! I am all for forgiveness but Anthony's gotta earn it...which he kinda screwed up in this chapter...

Loving Phillip but hating Anthony at the minute!

Well I hope you enjoy this chapter y'all!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The funeral had turned out to be a close family event that was held on a sunny Saturday morning followed by a luncheon held at Phillip's estate. The preacher had done a lovely service to commemorate the life of Marina followed by a short word from Phillip to thank everyone for coming to celebrate the life of his late wife.

That was the first time Penelope had ever seen Marina's children. It startled her when she saw that there were two of them! Both boy and girl and both just darling with angelic faces. They looked just like her.

Penelope felt the stab in her heart anew. Marina was the closest member of her family and now that she was gone…no one cared for her. Mama was a horrid soul, Eloise kept her distance—rightly so and Pen could not blame her for it—and Anthony…well Penelope stayed as far away from him as was allowed. It vexed her that he knocked on her office door every night to bring her to bed and it vexed her even more that he would try to speak while they ate meals together. But he kept his promise; he kissed her every morning and every night.

Penelope would be drifting off to sleep and feel the lightest touch of her lips and know that it was Anthony wishing her goodnight, and every morning, she awoke to the feeling of Anthony kissing her. Instead of kissing him back she would simply stay still and push down the hurt and the tingling.

Tears welled up in her eyes. The picture of her and Anthony was a mirrored version of Lord and Lady Featherington—an image that terrified her to no end! Penelope had told Anthony that she would never turn out like her parents' marriage—she would rather die.

That statement remained true. She wanted to scream and cry and shout and weep and…and die. In all her years of living she had experienced enough judgement and nasty words to last a lifetime—Cressida could be rewarded for that one.

"Thank you for coming. I know how close you were with Marina." Sir Phillip Crane said, bowing to Penelope.

"Thank you for thinking of me, sir." Penelope said honesty.

"We are family, Lady Bridgerton, I believe that we are past formalities. Please call me Phillip."

"Then please call me Penelope."

Phillip smiled.

"I was hoping to meet your husband; Lord Bridgerton." Sir Phillip said, a smile on his face–well as much of a smile as a grieving man would allow.

The mention of that… man angered her. She had no qualms with Sir Phillip but she was in no way interested in talking about her husband who was so wrapped up in being in her good graces again that he could not even register what was wrong. Anthony was not who she thought he was.

"My apologies, but my husband was caught up with some business and could not join me, but he sends you his condolences as do I–"

"Oh, of course." Sir Phillip said hurriedly, quick to assure her that she had done no wrong–an action that her husband was clearly lacking. "I understand that you have both just recently married. When I sent you that letter I expected a kind rejection not a hasty acceptance. Though I am happily surprised."

Penelope smiled sadly at Phillip. He was a handsome man with a sheltered heart but a heart that beat caringly nonetheless. It baffled her how Marina had ended up with George and not Phillip to start off with. Yes George had sounded the hero and just a charming bad boy, but Phillip was a firm foundation that you knew could count on in the harsh weather, to her it was a no brainer. There was not much you could count on in this world, so having someone you know you can trust is a rare yet welcome happenstance.

"Well I am glad to have supplied you with any happiness in this time, Phillip." Penelope said smiling.

"Happiness has been in short supply, it seems." He sombered.

Again her heart shattered. This man was too good to have such grief thrust upon him. Marina had gotten pregnant–with Phillip's brother's child–and the day he married Marina, he instantly became the father of her children. Now that she was gone, he was now a widower, with two young children to care for who both just wanted their mother.

What if…

What a cruel set of words. Vicious and biting. Nothing can change what happened, no one can go back in time and stop Marina. And that was what hurt the most. There was nothing Penelope could have done. There was nothing she could have said or did to stop her cousin from trying to drown herself.

"I know that nothing I say or do will ever change what you are going through, Phillip, but please know that…that you are not a failure." Penelope placed a comforting hand on his arm so he knew that she was genuine, "Just because you could not stop her does not mean that you are by any means a let-down, or a fool–what matters is you tried and that is all anyone could ever wish for. Those children who are tucked away sleeping will grow up and know that their father was a good man who raised them right; with kindness, care and the same amount of love as three hearts."

Phillip bowed his head to hide his tears.

"I am sorry that she made you feel unworthy, Phillip." Penelope whispered. "Marina was my cousin and I love her dearly. But she loved the wrong man, and I am sorry that you had to see that everyday."

Grey eyes snapped up to hers. In them she saw shock and a hint of denial.

"I know what unrequited love looks like, Phillip. It is a miserable picture." Penelope felt her own eyes start to sting.

"Forgive me for speaking plainly, but you are…unhappy?"

She had revealed too much of herself.

Pen looked around to see that her mother was still chatting with Prudence close by Phillipa who was cradling her flat stomach, which was clearly her subtle–not so subtle–way of sharing her news. Oh her sisters would be unbearable if such news spread soon.

The memory of only a few hours ago rang clear in her mind. The moment that Penelope had exited the carriage her heart sank to her shoes when she saw her mother there with her two sisters and Albert Finch–the awkward son-in-law. Within the first ten minutes, Penelope had been drawn to he side by her mama and asked the most embarrassing and horrifying questions;

"Have you consummated yet?" Portia asked straight faced.

Penelope gasped, though she should not have been surprised by her mothers straight forward nature. The woman was not well acquainted with the word subtle.

"Mama, this is not the time–"

"Was he satisfied with your performance, Penelope? It is a simple question."

Could her cheeks get any redder?!

"This is Marina's funeral, Mama, surely talking about such things is not polite or acceptable." Pen whispered in shock though added with more strength, "And what my husband and I do behind closed doors is none of your concern–"

"It is when my living arrangements are on the line! If you do not satisfy him then he will find someone else that does, and when that happens you better pack your bags and flee to Scotland because I will never forgive you if you let this opportunity pass you by, you vexing girl!" Portia whispered harshly.

Pen felt those familiar tears burn her eyes. A lie. She needed to lie.

"Anthony was insatiable, mama." Penelope forced herself to look her mother in the eyes.

"Good. See that you keep him pleased." Portia pinned on a smile and left her daughter to swipe her tears away in peace..

Turning back to Phillip she pinned on a smile.

"I am…content." Penelope answered. Trying hard to keep from breaking into tears.

"I am inclined to test the boundaries of our friendship, Penelope." Phillip said, frowning slightly.

His meaning was clear.

"You will find that rather tiresome, I'm afraid."

"Things that are worth the effort often are. Marriage takes a lot of work, and is very tiresome, but it is worth it, I'm sure, once a single morale of affection is reciprocated." Phillip almost scoffed, "I am not speaking of experience mind you."

"Forgive me, Phillip, I do not mean to portray my situation in such a light that it comes close to the grief you face. I am being selfish–"

"We are all selfish in love, Penelope." Phillip said, looking down. "And I could not think badly of you, not even slightly. You are making this gathering bearable."

He did not realise that his presence was the only thing keeping her together. Phillip was grieving his dead wife, she had free reign to engage with him and hopefully she even lightened his heavy burden.

He was a father and a widower who was in desperate need of some form of kindness.

On the topic of father and children–

"Forgive me, Sir," A maid came outside, looking rather rosy-cheeked as if trying to tame a beast, carrying a little boy who was the spitting image of his mother, "...But Oliver won't stop crying for his mother. I've tried feeding him but…"

Phillip smiled gravely, knowing that nothing would sway his son from his tears until he got what he wanted. Ollie and Amanda were both like that–determined and stubborn. Smiling at the maid, Philip took his son from her hands and dismissed her.

Penelope was in awe of how attentive he was to his children. It was common that many men and women of title had nothing to do with their children after they were born, especially while they were young. It blew her mind how Philip rocked his child instead of shrugging the maid off and telling her to deal with the screaming baby herself–which is something Pen knew her mother did with all of them as babies.

"Now, now, Ollie, let us try to be silent." Philip bounced along with his son to try to calm him but he still seemed to cry for his mother.

The crowd seemed to notice the crying child and even turned their noses up in disgust. Phillip knew it was not the way things were done, but he would rather be a strange and loving father than a distant and cold one. That was something Penelope admired.

"May I hold him?" Penelope found herself asking.

"Are you certain?" Phillip asked, hesitantly. Not because he was worried that she would drop him or even toss him to the side, he was only concerned because he did not want her feeling stuck with a wriggly and crying child.

"Please." Pen smiled.

Shrugging, Phillip placed the crying Ollie into her arms gently. Penelope stared in wonder at the little child before her, the child that had grown inside of Marina for nine whole months–that same child that Penelope had exposed to a motherless childhood. Pushing the sadness away, Pen focused on how right it felt to hold Ollie in her arms.

Even though he cried, she started to rock him like she had seen Phillip doing moments ago.

"Shall I tell you a story Ollie?" Penelope said, looking down at him.

Ollie seemed to quiet his crying slightly, noticing the different voice. Pen giggled when the baby hiccuped and that seemed to cause him to stop his crying. Phillip watched in awe as his son settled into Penelope's arms and looked up at her with teary eyes.

"I shall take that as a yes." Pen smiled, "Once upon a time, that is how all stories should start Oliver. Well in this time there lived a family of elves. This family of elves were preparing for a new arrival, but what they didn't know was that when this family was least expecting it, that arrival would come in the surprise of the most beautiful elf anyone had ever seen. This beautiful elf's name was…er…Mari and she was known throughout…um Shoe Village as the kindest and gentlest elf there ever was. "

Philip laughed at the name, though his laugh came out as more of a choke due to his tears. Penelope was so wrapped up in her story for little Ollie that she did not notice the rest of the crowd hush to listen.

"In this family there was a girl whose name was Poppy and she was so excited for the arrival of Mari. Mari was always so kind to her even when others weren't. When days were hard and Poppy was struggling, Mari would talk to her and listen to her–always making sure that Poppy was well, even though Poppy was nowhere near as beautiful or as kind as Mari.

"One day, Mari told Poppy that she was going to have a baby. Poppy was surprised but still happy for her friend, knowing that this little baby would be such a beautiful treasure–just as beautiful and kind as their mommy–"

Oliver giggled.

"Yeah." Pen giggled too, "After some time Mari realised that she needed to marry so that the baby would be safe, because in Shoe Village, women who were having babies needed to be married. Time went by and Mari was getting nervous that she would not find a man to marry…but not long after Mari met a knight whose name was Sir Crab. Sir Crab was known throughout the Village for his bravery and for his honour–when he met Mari he immediately asked for her hand in marriage.

"This offer, though advantageous for her situation, was scary to her and Mari was hesitant to take it, but after some time she took the man's hand and they were married. What happens next is where we meet our beautiful treasure–"

Ollie blew a raspberry and Pen nodded heartily.

"Yes, Mari had her baby–but she did not have just one, she had two both of whom became her pride and joy; little Ama and little Otheo."

Penelope had to stop to swipe at the tears in her eyes. She was still too caught up in her story to see that the whole garden had gone silent and all had glistening eyes–all but her family of course.

"Even though Mari loved her treasures very much, she was still sad–this did not mean that she did not care about Sir Crab or that she did not love her children, she was just inexplicably sad. Though she was loved and loved in return, she passed on, leaving her little treasures and knight to stay on their own. But though she is not there in person, Mari still watches over her treasures every night and kisses them before they sleep–so everytime the wind blows on their cheeks, they know that their mother is giving them a kiss."

Penelope looked down at Ollie with misty eyes. She saw that Ollie's tears had dried and his eyes were closing slowly seeing as he was pooped after crying nonstop for so long. Caressing his cheek with her free hand, Pen added;

"Oliver, your mother was the most beautiful woman and she loves you very much. Sleep well and know that your mother is looking down and caring for you as you dream–but when you wake, daddy will take care of you and hold you when you are hurting. Rest well Ollie."

Pen leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his head and smiled.

"Penelope!" The shrill voice of her mother broke through the haze.

Pen turned around to see her mother pinning on a face smile and beckoning her closer. The action was more of a threat than a question–as if to remind her that she was a married woman not a flirting single spinster. Turning back to Philip she thanked him and placed the sleeping child back in his arms gratefully.

"I hope to meet your husband soon, Penelope. Perhaps you may extend my invitation to have you both join us for dinner–I'm sure the children should like another story, Amanda does so hate missing out."

Smiling, she thanked him and told him that she would pass on the message, before bobbing a curtsy and walking over to her mother, who wore a rather sour face.

"Your carriage is here, you should be off." Portia said.

"I did not call for my carriage–"

"What does it matter? You have an insatiable husband who is surely at home waiting for your arrival, so you must get back to him post haste before he finds another woman to help satisfy him." Portia ushered her into the carriage and before Penelope even knew what was happening, she was off and on her way home.

Blinking, she tried to think of how one moment she was holding the most adorable sleeping angel, and the next she was being shoved into a carriage off to see her most vexing husband, who was still trying–after three days–to atone for his sins. Though he fluctuates between angry at her for her skills and then begging for forgiveness.

The carriage ride was not a long one, but each minute felt like an hour as her heart beat faster as if being dragged to the slaughterhouse. She did not want to face him. Anthony had hurt her greatly. His anger and betrayal were almost excusable, but the way he stuck up for his past lover over her, the way he grabbed her the way he did, and then the way he called her by her maiden name…that was unpardonable.

But…she had made mistakes, she had her faults and by god did she want him to forgive her. This was a two way street, and one of them had to go first. Penelope just wanted her husband back. Although it vexed her, she decided that she would sit down with him and they would finally talk it out. They would discuss the tension, the lies and the hurt until it was resolved–that was the only way that they would have any form of reconciliation before their marriage failed completely.

A plan started forming in Pen's mind and soon she was ready to face her husband. By the time the carriage rolled to a stop outside of Aubury Hall, Penelope had a newfound determination and a kick in her step. Penelope made it up the stairs and ventured through the halls in search of Anthony. On her way she noticed a vase full of beautiful flowers. Shrugging she picked them up and took them with her, thinking she would place them in her room before she changed and then went to see Anthony. Nothing was going to stop her.

Except…

"...never needs to know. I want you–I need you…" A female voice drifted into Pen's ears.

It was not uncommon for the servants to go off and have their fun, Penelope was not altogether unaware of their fun but she was cautious that there was no drama between the servants. As long as they still got their work done, Pen was fine for them to–

"...Anthony, please –oh!"

Pen's spine stiffened. Her blood went cold.

" Yes–Anthony! "

Her mother's words rang through her mind anew;

"… If you do not satisfy him then he will find someone else that does, and when that happens you better pack your bags and flee to Scotland because I will never forgive you if you let this opportunity pass you by, you vexing girl!"

Without a second to waste, Penelope flung the doors open to the drawing room and instantly felt her heart fall to the bottoms of her shoes and the blood drain from her face at the sight before her.

Anthony Bridgerton was viciously kissing the neck of a dark haired woman who was pressed flush against the bookshelves as she buried her hand in his hair and threw her head back in bliss. The sounds cascading from both parties made Pen sick to her stomach. That was her husband.

"Oh Kate." Anthony moaned as he groped her backside.

Penelope felt the room start to sway.

For some reason, Penelope knew that she would have felt slightly better if this was some scullery maid or even some whore off the street…but this woman–this woman was none other than Edwina Sharma's older sister Kathani. The woman herself was mumbling nonsense about needing him all while Penelope stood by the door unable to utter a single word.

Pen's body went slack and she dropped the vase causing the glass to shatter into hundreds of tiny pieces–just like her heart. Water and glass and flower petals streaked the floor. The noise was enough to break the spell over the couple making out.

Kate's eyes widened when she saw Pen and she immediately shoved Anthony away from her. Anthony on the other hand looked like he had seen a ghost. He had been caught. Someone shoot him.

Pen's eyes blurred with tears.

"Forgive me for barging in, Lord Bridgerton–"

"Penelope–" Anthony croaked, moving away from Kate.

"I will get someone to clean up the mess." Without another word or a second though, Penelope fled from the drawing room, knowing exactly what she had to do next.

Notes:

Until next time ;)

Chapter 16: Hurting and leaving

Summary:

Anthony's side of the story...

Pen takes action leaving Anthony shattered.

Notes:

For all my loyal readers I feel like I have to apologies.

It seems like my last few chapters haven't gone down too well and for that I am sorry. I am very proud of my writing and will continue to write this story but I want to make sure that my readers are actually *enjoying* it because that is what makes it worth it! And when they are not, I want to make it better so then we are all having a great time and enjoying our characters!

Now I love Anthony and I love Kate but Kate is supposed to be a bitch in this series (Sorry Kate, I love you!) and Anthony is supposed to just...well he needs Pen to work out his shit. And Penelope needs Anthony to show her how much she truely is worth (which is to come)

Also I don't condone cheating AT ALL (major no no!) - had to put that in there ;)

Now I understand that it got angsty quiet fast...I really didn't expect it to but that's just how it came about. I have not pre-written most of these chapters so they sort of come out in a splurge. I am sorry for the misleading fam--i totally understand if you don't want to read this story anymore or it's not your thing. I am trying to work hard to get that happy ending but work has me swamped (sorry you guys don't need excuses)

I love you all and am SOOOO grateful for all the love and comments! I read everyone and am so blessed to have you guys! And just cause I don't respond doesn't mean I don't care! I take each one under advisement and have even tweaked the storyline a little to suit your guys interests--so I appreciate you all!

Sorry for that LONG WINDED apology and explanations but it had to be said.

Now this one is sad and just aggravating but I'll try to get out the second chapter for you guys soon ;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

How could his earth have shattered so quickly?!

The morning was turning out like any other recently. Anthony would wake up and kiss his wife, praying desperately that this would be the day she kissed him back–but again he was disappointed. He knew that she was awake each time because he would press his lips to hers and hear her hold her breath, waiting for him to stop.

It crushed him but it was his own fault. This silence between them was defining and he could not stand it. Not only did his body and his mind long for her, his soul longed for her. Almost screaming at him that his other half was missing–which could not be possible, because if she was the other piece of his soul that would make her his soulmate, which would also mean that he loved…

Clenching his fists he leaned on the desk and hung his head thinking of how he was going to make it up to her. Penelope barely looked at him since that day–he could hardly blame her after he so unwittingly stood up for Siena to his wife and then called her by her maiden name. His title had never sounded like a punch in the gut before, until it cascaded from her lips along with those tears.

"Sir?" A knock came at the door followed by Higgins, the servant.

Anthony looked up to acknowledge his presence.

"You have a guest." Higgins said.

"A guest?" He frowned.

Just about anyone he knew, knew that he was supposed to be on his honeymoon, and his family was practically banned from the house after that incident with Ben and El walking in that morning. He was yet to punish Benedict for that, and he was yet to check on Eloise after seeing that–and also after hearing her friend announce that she was Whistledown.

"Yes, sir." Higgins said discreetly.

"I shall see them in the drawing room." He sighed, not in any mood to bicker words with his valet.

"Right you are, sir."

Moments later Anthony was entering the drawing room expecting to find one of his siblings but instead found someone whom he had hardly thought of since the day he married his bride. The woman whom he had pictured himself in love with. The woman in question was Kathani Sharma.

She looked tired and frustrated but also collected and determined.

"Miss Sharma." Anthony spoke, almost as if confirming whether or not it was her.

"Forgive the intrusion, my lord. I needed to speak with you." Kate stepped forward and looked around, "Is your wife here?"

Why do I feel ill just by the question?

"She is out at present. You surely heard about the tragic death of her cousin, Lady Crane." Anthony said, moving further in the room, but not closer to her. Something about her seemed off to him and so he decided to keep his distance.

"Yes, my condolences." Kate said. Why did she sound anything but sorry?

Kate drew closer still. Anthony was on edge by her behaviour.

The way Kate continued to move closer to him was not like she used to. It was not challenging or angry or even teasing, it was almost…sultry and flirty–but that was impossible because Kathani Sharma hated him, she had confirmed it herself to him the night he was found in the gardens with Penelope.

The true woman whom he was desperate for; Penelope. The same woman whom he was married to, which made this meeting scandalous in its own right. A newly married man with an unmarried woman without a chaperon would cause a scandal indeed. There was enough of that revolving around his family and Penelope's so this little encounter was not another thing to add to the list, Anthony thought.

"Why are you here, Miss Sharma?" Anthony said. No beating around the bush. He wanted the information outright. "If you are here to shout at me–don't. If you're here to mock me–don't. If you are here to judge me–don't. If you–"

"I love you too." Kate said quickly.

Anthony froze.

What the fuck?!

"Forgive me. I believe I misheard you–"

"Anthony Bridgerton, I am in love with you too." Out of nowhere Kate had practically pounced on him, attaching her lips to his.

Time seemed to stop and Anthony felt as though he was having an outer body experience, just watching as he stood frozen while his past love grasped his shoulders and kissed him hungrily. As if witnessing it brought him back to life, Anthony's soul seemed to snap himself awake.

Anthony realised what was happening and shoved Kate off of himself, wiping his mouth as if her taste was infectious. That kiss practically repulsed him.

"What the bloody hell was that?!" Anthony roared.

"Do not pretend that you no longer harbour feelings for me, my lord, you all but told me that you wished it was me you wished to marry and then left me to confess my love to no one!" Kate shouted back.

That meeting replayed in his mind again;

"You never would have made her happy." She hissed, tendrils shaking with her vicious nod.

"I agree. I would have broken her heart–as would you have." Anthony whispered, his eyes never leaving hers, "You wish to know why?"

Kate's eyes were wide and her breath was coming in huffs of agitation.

"It is because if I had stood before the altar with your sister before me, glowing in all her beauty, all I would be able to do, is look at you, the fiery Kathani Sharma and wish it was you taking those vows, telling me you loved me and that not even death would part us. The vicar would allow me to put the ring on your finger and announce us married under the sight of the law and the sight of God." Anthony admitted harshly, "Not Edwina. You."

So he had. God he wished he never said such things.

"That was…I was–Miss Sharma you must know that I am married now–"

"Of course I know that! But…this would have happened anyway if you had married my sister–"

"You forget yourself!" Anthony growled, horrified that Kate was openly admitting that she would sneak around with him if he had married her sister. How despicable!

"And you want this." Kate drew closer and began kissing him all over his face, her perfumed scent turning his brain into mush–it was the same scent Penelope wore.

Penelope–

"No–" Anthony tried to push her away again but Kate pushed him against the bookcase and started peppering his neck with kisses, instantly switching his brain to the time his wife had so innocently tried to pleasure him.

God, how beautiful she was. How curved and delightful her body felt in his arms. Soon, Anthony found himself imagining that Kate was his wife and began kissing her in return. Those moans were driving him insane. The way Penelope moaned when he did something that pleased her was the quickest hard on he ever had.

"She will never need to know," Penelope said–who oddly had a similar voice to Kate, "I want you–I need you–Oh!"

Penelope gasped when he latched his lips onto her pulsepoint, a spot he knew she liked very much. He would surely perish if she continued to moan like an angel–god he wanted her so badly. So badly to forgive him, to kiss him back, heck he would settle with her even talking to him and telling him about her day–but no.

" Anthony please–yes! "

He doubled his efforts and flipped her to have her back hit the bookshelf that was behind him.

"Anthony–oh!"

Snaking his hands down he grabbed her ass and squeezed noticing that there was much less to grab. Things almost started clicking into place and Anthony started to wake from his daydream that he was on a road to make sweet love with his wife.

"Oh Kate." Anthony gasped.

Suddenly a shattering sound could be heard to his right.

Fuck.

His face had dropped and his heart just stopped. Anthony knew–he knew that he would never ever forget that look on Penelope's face, that one right now; the look of betrayal, devastation and utter heartbreak. Anthony had screwed up.

Kate shoved him away from her and Penelope seemed to flinch almost.

"Forgive me for barging in, Lord Bridgerton–"

His title felt like a punch in the gut. One that was very much deserving.

"Penelope–" Anthony felt his throat close up as he moved to reach her.

"I will get someone to clean up the mess."

Not another word could be uttered as his wife fled the room. There was silence. Anthony wanted to run after her but he knew that he would not catch her, he also wanted to scream but that would surely not help anything except his pent up anger.

A minute went by and the voice of Kate drifted into his ears. She had not moved but her voice had changed from flirty to just pure evil.

"Now you will know the pain I feel."

Anthony turned to her slowly.

"Excuse me?"

"The pain of knowing that someone you love now thinks ill of you. Knowing that your actions hurt them. Living with the consequences everyday."

Everything clicked and Anthony realised what he had just done. Kathani Shamra did not really care for him, she had trapped him, she had captured his weakness and used it. Kate had tricked him and Anthony was the fool who fell for it and now he would forever live with the guilt.

"What have I ever done to you?!" ANthony shouted.

"You destroyed me.' Kate whispered, tears in her eyes, "My family now suffers because you could not keep to your word and now your wife will forever see the man she married is not a man to be trusted–a man who doesn't keep his promises!"

How true that was.

Anthony gripped her arm tightly causing her to hiss in pain.

"Get out of my home and never darken these doors ever again or you will live to regret it." Anthony growled before shoving her away from him and exiting the room to find his wife.

Never in his life had he wanted someone to duel him for his stupidity! How could he have fallen for such a trap?! How could he have continued to indulge in such activities?!! God, someone kill him, please!

How could Penelope ever forgive him–they were already on teethers!

Three days later

By the time Anthony found Penelope to call her for dinner, he saw that she was sitting on the bench outside in the gardens, where Ben and him were fencing yesterday. There was still his fencing equipment out which he planned on using again today to relieve some of his stress and pent up anger but instead he had gone and fucked it up.

Pen was silent and almost in a trance wearing her old green dress that suited her figure well. Though it brought out her pale complexion–that was looking rather sickly and sleep deprived. Penelope was keeping her distance and refused to sleep in the same room as Anthony even though he would wait outside Eloise's room door, which was where Penelope was sleeping, and just listen to her tears.

Each tear and each whimper broke his heart. Rightly so. He could just shoot himself for his stupidity.

Anthony went to speak but before he could Pen spoke.

"My apologies for breaking the vase." She whispered, eyes still on the butterfly that was perched on the sunflower directly in front of her. "I should have knocked–"

Anthony felt like he had been slapped.

"Screw the vase, Penelope! I don't give a damn about that! I care about you–"

"Don't lie to me!" Pen shouted, standing to move away from him.

Anthony moved to be closer to her but she held up a hand to stop him but when he did not stop she reached for his fencing sword and pointed it at him. He knew that she did not know how to use it, but that did not mean she didn't know how to whip him with the thin blade. Anthony froze and held up his hands in surrender.

"You told me that you would make me feel good. That you would be a good husband," Pen said, tears burning her eyes, "and you promised that I would never doubt that you care."

Athony tried to move closer but Pen drew the fencing sword up so it poked him in the chest. His eyes were begging but she would not give in, not when she had been begging her whole life.

"Out of the month that we have been married, you have lied to me, shut me out, ignored me, treated me for a fool and now you have brought someone else into our marriage—" Pen scoffed, "what a funny word 'our'. It was never our marriage was it? Just a silly term…just like vows—"

"Pen—"

Penelope slapped him hard across the face. Anthony was stunned silent.

"Don't you ever call me Pen again!" She shouted, "only my true friends and my husband may call me that and it turns out you are neither!"

Pen moved to stomp away but Anthony caught her hand and twirled her to himself. She tried to get away but Anthony grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder. Pen cried out, kicking and slapping to get away from me but he was solid as a tree.

" Put me down, Anthony Bridgerton!"

"Not until you forgive me." Anthony choked on his tears but she did not care.

"You will collapse with exhaustion by the time I forgive you, Lord Bridgerton—"

"Anything! Anything but Lord Bridgerton, please, Penelope. Call me sick, call me a bastard—anything but my title." Anthony paced her on her feet and gripped her shoulders tightly as if desperate.

"I am leaving, Anthony." Pen choked back tears.

Anthony felt like the grassy floor beneath him started to sway.

"No." He whispered, shaking his head in denial. "No, you can't."

"I cannot stay here anymore." Penelope drew back, "There is nothing here for me–"

"I am here!" Anthony stepped closer and tried to reach her but she moved away, "Please, reconsider. I cannot let you–I will not let you leave, we can…please."

Penelope sobbed and Anthony fell to his knees before her. Anthony took hold of her hips and buried his head into her abdomen, hoping to never be parted from her. Yet he knew that they would–one day. This was the penance for his sins.

"Stay, please–you cannot leave me." Anthony did not care that she saw his tears or that he was begging like a weak man–in truth he was. He did not realise that having Penelope as his wife made him want to be strong, but he was broken and empty without her by his side.

"This was never going to work," Pen whispered, taking mercy on him she gently placed her hand on his head and caressed it, wishing that her voice did not crack as she continued, "Our match was bound to lead down the road of destruction and it has gone up in flames just like we knew it would."

Anthony gripped her tighter, tears falling freely.

"No, I should have–"

"' Should have' and ' what if'' are one of society's cruellest phrases, Anthony. What happened is in the past but that does not mean that it has not paved some of our future." Penelope croaked, "You must let me go."

"I will never let you go, Penelope Anne Bridgerton, not until I am dead in my grave." Anthony sobbed. "Nothing will ever atone for what I did and I wish every second of every da y that I had not done such heinous deeds! Forgive me please, Penelope. I am not deserving of such but I cannot live without you–the thought alone makes me wish to perish. Without you I will cease to exist."

His begging broke Pen's heart.

"As much as I wish to free you of your torment, my lord, I cannot give my forgiveness so freely when that… oh god that image still burns like an inferno in my head plaguing my every waking moment and haunts my every dream." Penelope could not look at him. She removed her hands from his head and refused to look at him for fear of breaking herself.

She did not lie. His apology seemed genuine but she could not throw out such a meaningless forgiveness if she did not mean it. Pen could not–would not–give in.

"Let go, my lord." Pen said.

"I beg of you." Anthony grasped tighter and Pen held her breath, knowing that she would break any second if he did not let up his hold, "with my heart and soul–I beg you to stay."

Penelope was almost about to shove him away when Benedict entered the garden looking dishevelled. Both Anthony and Penelope looked to him. Penelope saw his state and was instantly on alert, whereas Anthony was too distracted by his pleading to notice.

"Anthony, it is Mother. You must come immediately." Ben said, "She had been in an accident."

Anthony once again felt like his heart had shrivelled. He was on his feet in an instant.

"What happened?!" He croaked.

"I shall tell you on the way, you must make haste." Ben turned to Penelope and nodded to her.

Anthony turned back to his wife.

"Wait for me, please."

"Go, she needs you." Penelope said, ushering him towards Benedict who looked at his watch frantically. Anthony looked at her pleadingly.

"I will not go unless you promise me you will be here when I return."

Pen halted.

"I can make no such promise." Penelope whispered.

"Penelope, I beg you. Be here when I return–please." Anthony gripped her hand and kissed it, clearly debating whether or not to let go.

"Brother, we must leave." Benedict said.

Anthony started walking backwards still looking at his wife, "Be here. I will return as soon as I can–just wait for me." Penelope bit her lip to keep her lip from wobbling. It broke her heart but she knew that she could not meet his wish–no matter how much he begged.

Both brothers were out the garden but soon Benedict came running back in and engulfed Pen into a big hug. The action shocked her but she did not fight the loving action.

"I will miss you greatly, sister. Do write." Ben pulled back, placed a kiss on her cheek and left.

Benedict had played his part well, just as they had planned.

Anthony barreled through the front door of Number FIve searching frantically for their mother. What shocked him was how calm all the servants were and how silent the house was–they should be in uproar with Violet being the way she was.

Eloise came into the room reading a book and Anthony instantly felt anger.

"El, why are you not with Mother?!" Anthony roared.

Eloise jumped. "Brother, what are you doing here? Why would I be with mama?"

"Because she was injured!" Anthony shouted as if that would help her remember.

A moment after the shouting started none other than the woman herself walked through the drawing room door.

"Anthony, what is with all the shouting?" Violet asked.

"Mother, what–how are you–" Nothing made sense, "Benedict told me…"

Anthony turned around to face Benedict and saw the sombre look on his face. Everything clicked into place and Anthony felt as though the floor below him just jolted forward causing him to stumble. This could not be happening.

"I'm sorry, Anthony." Ben said.

Those words rang through his ears and seemed to echo off the walls.

"Anthony, you are scaring me–what has happened?" Violet reached for her son who was finding it incredibly hard to breathe as he looked at his brother with new eyes–absolute betrayal.

No, no, no, no, NO!

Penelope was not going to be there when he returned.

"God please no." Anthony's lip wobbled and he started to run for his horse but Ben stopped him, "Let go of me! I must reach her before it is too late–"

"She is gone, brother. You will not get to her in time." Benedict said, retraining him.

"I must–"

"Anthony!" Benedict shouted, silencing his older brother who had tears streaming down his cheeks and his breathing was frantic. Ben gently spoke, "Penelope is gone."

"No, no, no." Anthony was shaking his head trying to deny it though he knew it was true. It did not matter how fast he rode or how desperately he wished, Penelope would not be at Aubury Hall when he returned. And the thought broke him.

Falling to his knees Anthony wept regretting every life choice that brought him to this moment.

Notes:

See you in a minuet ;)

Chapter 17: Six months later...

Summary:

Six months have passed and Anthony is in desperate search of his wife.

Notes:

Hey y'all!

So, for those who are not fans of angst...I'm sorry. This story is angsty but I PROMISE there will be a happy ending--

I saw in the comments someone asked if I could give them a reason to keep reading...my answer would be that Pen and Anthony will have a happy ending! Anthony WILL grovel because...well hell he just needs to.

Pen needs her space cause...hell she needs that too!

Also thank you for everyone who has been commenting at all but also those who have been advising me to use trigger warnings! I will go back and edit old chapters once this story is done and make sure that is all done cause I would hate for someone to be triggered! That is just not okay and I want to make sure everyone is looked after ;)

This chapter is sad but also has some happy qualities about it.

I hope you all like this next chapter. I am very proud of this one and hope you enjoy it too!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Six months later

The warm sun beat down on Anthony's neck, though the chilly winds took the heat away causing him to shiver slightly, but that was normal, especially this time of year in Ireland. Barely a cloud marred the sky reminding him that it was almost lunchtime and that he should return to the inn he was staying at and get some food before resuming his hunt for Penelope Bridegrton.

It had been exactly six months since Penelope had left him and fled with the help of Benedict. Ben had been quick to forgive Pen for her Whistledown–in fact he was almost starstruck that it was Pen who was behind such incredible writings, and he admired her for the empire she had built with her words. When Benedict had come to fence with Anthony one afternoon, Penelope had stumbled upon him and they soon concocted a plan for her to flee London altogether.

Ben promised that his lips were sealed and he would replay information to Eloise alone about her travels so she would not be alarmed or concerned about whether or not she was safe. True to his word Ben was as quiet as a mouse and kept El informed.

Anthony still found it hard to look his brother in the eye knowing what he had schemed behind his back, though he should have known by the way Benedict was rummaging through all of Colin's old letters and searching geography books and newspapers to find a secure destination for his sister-in-law. Benedict was artsy not a reader like Eloise or Greg, his soul fancy was painting and drawing.

How his brother could ship Pen off to god knows where hurt him greatly. One day he had tried to coax out of his brother where exactly his wife had run off to but Ben was extremely tight-lipped and he had to admire him for that.

"Where is she, Benedict?" Anthony asked, pacing his office frantically.

"I gave my word, brother, and that is unbreakable."

Why did that feel like a backhanded comment?

"This is important–"

"So is her freedom, Anthony. Allow her the time and space she needs."

Anthony shook off the memory and continued to climb up the cliff edge so as to reach the top and get a view of the ocean and then the town. Although Anthony was here in search of his wife, he was thoroughly enjoying how beautiful the world was. To think all this time that Colin was right about his thorough descriptions of his visits in the letters he would send home that mother made them all sit down together and read as a family.

If those letters were any indication, Colin had real potential to write. He had a gift for describing such glorious places–almost as if you were there in person, feeling, seeing, smelling the waves as they crashed along the ridged rocks below. Anthony was by no means a writer, but he found that the scenery inspired creativity.

A seagull moaned overhead and Anthony looked up and shielded his face from the sun to see. The gulls were clearly circling to have their feast of fish for lunch, another reminder that he should head back down to the village inn for some sustenance. Taking a few more minutes to rest after reaching the top, Anthony began his descent back down into the new village, enjoying the sea breeze that was taking away the sweat dripping down his burn neck.

How Colin hiked regularly was beyond Anthony, especially if he was scaling mountains and cliffs like this one here. It was tiring enough–but then again, Colin was younger and fitter than Anthony, at least that was the excuse Anthony wanted to use to make himself feel a little better for how creaky his knees felt going up and down the rocky cliffs.

The only clue that was given–stolen–was when Eloise received a letter from Penelope over three months ago telling her about how she was enjoying the seaside air and Irish folk music . Eliose had scolded him for stealing her letter but he could not find it in himself to be sorry when he now had a possible location for Penelope.

I just need to see her again. Hear her voice again. Hold her again.

When Anthony finally worked up the courage to go back to Aubury Hall that dreaded day, he found that on his desk was a letter with his name on it, in Pen's writing and her wedding band placed neatly on top. The sight of it alone brought tears to his eyes. Each step towards the letter felt like he was on his way to the slaughter. Reaching for the letter with shaky hands, he opened it up.

Dear Anthony,

I'm sorry.

His eyes blurred instantly and he needed a minute before he was able to continue.

You asked me to stay but I could not. I could not face you again, and I know that makes me a coward but most Featherington's are good at that anyway. The thought of seeing you again only saddens me and you promised that such an occurrence would never happen in our marriage.

From the day we became engaged to the day we said our vows nothing but chaos was waiting for us on the other side and we both knew that this marriage was bound for destruction–I only hoped it wouldn't be because I came to care about you, Anthony. You gave me a freedom no one else ever had and you called me beautiful when no such word existed for me.

The day my fantasy cracked was the day Benedict and Eloise came to visit. When you found out I was Whistledown I thought my heart would implode when I saw the betrayal on your face. Nothing seemed to hurt more in that moment than thinking I had hurt you. You must know that in all my writings I never had any intention to ruin you or your family. I love you all. And I will miss you all.

I thought of leaving that very day but I thought you deserved an explanation, which did not seem to go very well when we finally spoke. What set my resolve was not when you called me Miss Featherington, but when I saw you hold Kate the way you had held me.

I know I am a hypocrite because I told you that you may take a lover–I just wanted to know about it. But you lied to me, Anthony. You told me that there would be none but me. Again I was not enough.

Now that I am gone you are free.

I wish to thank you for everything you have done for me and I wanted to repay you with some of my Whistledown earnings to perhaps cover any of my living expenses while I stayed at Aubury Hall and for your freedom. In your top office desk drawer I have left a folder with annulment papers inside that already have my signature on them, meaning you just need your signature and then you are a free man.You will be free to marry whom you wish–you may make up some story about my untimely death or some form of a lie to help the scandal die down.

You owe me nothing but I am asking that you please ensure my mother and sisters are taken care of.

Anthony, if I may ask one last thing of you. I beg you, with my heart and soul, not to look for me. I cannot face you again, ever. The thought alone frightens me to death because how can you look at the person you love and know you are holding them back from their destiny.

I love you, Anthony, that is why I leave, so that you may now have the woman you truly love. I will no longer be in the way of that, I promise.

Your darling,

Penelope Featherington

Featherington…not Bridgerton.

After rereading the letter again and again he actually threw up. It was sickening and absolutely heartbreaking. Penelope loved him. She loved him. Penelope loved him . Anthony had gone and screwed it all up in a few short weeks. He did not deserve her love or her forgiveness but he was now more than ever desperate to find her.

Anthony had been in Ireland for over a month now searching for Penelope, going inn by inn to find her and ask around and was not going to stop until he could hold her again, or be on his knees begging. He kept the letter with him always and read it every night, for the sole purpose of seeing her handwriting and spelling her perfume. Anthony knew that Penelope had asked him to stay away but he could not. Not when he yearned for her desperately.

"Are we almost there, brother?" Eloise asked, flipping her chestnut hair out of her face to no avail. The seaside breeze made it rather impossible to keep your hair down and see at the same time. "I am starving."

"You sound like Colin." Anthony rolled his eyes.

Now the fact that Eloise was on this venture was not because Anthony had any say in the matter. It was because Eloise had forced him to take her with him with bribes and threats which he eventually gave into. She promised she would seriously search for a husband next season if he allowed her to join–but what he didn't know was that Eloise was having regular correspondence with a male whom she found rather exciting–and it almost scared her that her stomach fluttered every time she saw his name on a letter that was addressed to her.

She thought perhaps she was ill and confided in Benedict who had laughed heartily.

"Do not laugh at my sickness! Something horrible could be wrong!" Eloise shoved him.

"Something horrible indeed." Ben chuckled.

"Am I dying?!" Eloise shouted and gasped.

"You may very well feel like that, El." Ben laughed again, "But no you are not."

That conversation still ran through El's head daily but she told herself that she would ask Pen when she found her.

Eloise missed her best friend so much. Penelope had said one final goodbye to Eloise before she left and they both made up happily. Penelope apologised profusely for not trusting her friend with her secret, but El was quick to brush off her friend's apologies and just hug her. They spoke and chatted like old times, never wanting their time together to end, but by the time Penelope knew she had to leave was one of the saddest moments in her life.

Penelope had promised she would write and that she would see her again one day–Eloise just wished that one day was tomorrow, or even today–but many tomorrow's went by and Eloise wrote to her friend everyday. El didn't know that Penelope had done the very same. When El got her first letter from Lady Anne Whistledown–El screamed and ran to her room, knowing exactly who Lady Anne was.

She cried late into the night with tears of sorrow and joy for her friend that day. The letter spoke of her fears and also her wonders of the world and how her travels were safe and eventful. El was so happy that her friend was safe…and free. Eloise still wanted to slap her brother every time she saw him after hearing what had happened.

One day, not long after Pen had left, Eloise made a visit to avenge her friend.

"Miss Bridgerton, to what do I –"

"Save it Miss Sharma, I have no interest in hearing your poison-like voice fill my ears," Eloise hissed in distaste, "I am here because you are a vile and cruel witch. Now I have read enough stories to know that the villain never wins, but this story turned out rather differently."

Eloise felt tears of anger fill her eyes.

"Because of your wickedness and my brother's weakness, my best friend has run off to god knows where and I came here to warn you that if you ever do anything to injure, taint or insult my family or best friend again you will pay the price with your life." Eloise came closer to Kate. Even though she was shorter and younger, Eloise had every ounce of truth in her eyes and just as much viciousness as the next, "Stay away from the people I care about or you will not have any yourself."

"Miss Bridgerton–"

Without taking her eyes off of Kate, she slapped a letter to the older woman's chest.

"You'll find that that is the exact location of your entire family and friends in India, I believe." An evil and humourless smile filled her feature, "You best find someone else to mess with, because unlike my brother, I will follow through on my word and I will ruin you, Miss Kathani Sharma, so don't you dare mess with me or the people I care about."

With one final shove, Eloise left the room leaving Kate stunned and rather terrified.

Though that would not bring back Penelope, it made her feel so much better that Kate was put in her place. Eloise was deadly serious about her threat. Hell she would have duelled the woman if Penelope hadn't told her not to–El hated that her friend knew her well enough to know what El had in mind for Kate.

It brought joy to Eloise's heart when Kate fled back to India only weeks later only to have Edwina stay behind and shun her sister for such evil deeds once they reached her ears. Lady Danbury was just as stunned–Eloise wouldn't have been surprised if Lady Danbury kicked her out herself. Pen was special to Lady Danbury–just as she was to many others.

Edwina had come a few days later to beg Anthony's forgiveness for his sister's acts. Anthony was baffled as to how vehemently she spoke of her sister and how kindly she spoke to him seeing how he was in just as much fault as she was–if not more. He should have shoved her away, should have tried harder and not let his loneliness and sorrow brainwash him.

He paid the price everyday for his weakness. But as long as he found Penelope again, everyday would be worth it.

"This wind is nippy."

"We are by the seaside, sister." Anthony said.

"When I asked to come–"

"Threatened me to come." Anthony muttered under his breath.

"–I did not ask you to state the obvious every time I spoke, brother." Eloise rolled her eyes and pushed through the door of the inn.

They were met with instant warmth and Anthony could have cheered with gratitude. Eloise was just in awe of the surroundings and it made Anthony smile, but he was still cautious of the kind of folks that were around these parts of the world. They all behaved well enough but they were strong, burly men who were used to the rough things in life meaning they were as tough as nails and as coarse as the sharp rocks on the cliffs.

Anthony took off his hat and entered the inn shortly after his sister, having to duck under the doorframe to get in–a regular occurrence here in Ireland. Apparently they had more short people than tall ones. The smell of sweaty men and beer filled his nostrils. Seeing as it was around lunchtime, there were plenty of men digging into their meals before they headed back to work. The sound of laughing and merriment filled his ears and he turned to see Eloise smiling brightly at it all.

They had been travelling for some time but each new thing seemed to amazing El to no end. The fact that they danced on tables at night and gave not a care in the world about anything seemed to be contagious. El found the whole place refreshing and could see why her friend would stay in a place with such carefree people.

"We would like two rooms please." Anthony asked the grey woman at the desk.

"Not from around here are ye?" The woman asked, smiling and giving him two keys.

"No, I am in search of someone." Anthony had to pause as someone clearly told a hysterical joke, causing the whole tavern to laugh loudly, "I looking for a woman, red hair, shorter–about this heigh–with crystal eyes–"

"Ye be lookin' for a needle in a haystack." The Irishwoman said sadly. "I have a few maids here myself with such looks, but I be doubtin' that they be your woman."

His heart was too weak to hope and so he merely nodded.

"Thank you for your help." Anthony said with a weak smile.

"Can we eat?" Eloise asked, coming up behind him.

"Stew be on the menu here, lassie." The woman said and led them to an empty table.

It was darker in this corner but neither of them minded. They thanked the woman and dug into the tasty stew. It had been a long day thus far and they needed to rest. Anthony was going to go into town and post a letter to the family so they knew he was well and perhaps check the post to see if any mail was under Pen's name. His only hope was to try and ask.

The hot stew seemed to warm them both from the inside out. El sighed and gobbled hers up happily, though still ladylike enough that her mother would not scold her if she was present. Anthony promised his mother that Eloise would benefit from such trips and that he would ensure that Eloise kept up with her tasks to prepare for being a lady.

Anthony smiled as he looked at her–mother would not be very pleased with all that had occurred–

"I know it be lunch–but how 'bout some dessert, lassie?" Anthony heard a man say as he pinched the bum of one of the servers.

Her back was turned and seeing as the tavern was so dark, Anthony could not see very well, but he saw well enough to know that the man was out of line. Right before he was about to stand up and teach that man some manners, the woman turned around revealing her fiery red tendrils that burned as bright as her rosy cheeks, crystal eyes clearer than the ocean and a sneer severe enough to kill a man.

It couldn't be.

"Next time ye think about touchin' what ain't yours ye' best think 'bout whether you like ye ears still attached to ye head, sir." An Irish accent filled his ears right before the sound of fist meeting face.

Anthony's eyes were wide in shock and he was frozen as if afraid that he would wake up at any second and realise that the Irishwoman who was shaking her sore hand after landing that killer punch, was not his wife. That woman could surely not be Penelope Bridgerton?!

"Pen." He croaked.

As if he had been struck by lighting, those gorgeous blue eyes–one's he had not laid eyes upon in person for what seemed like an eternity–finally met his and he was gazing upon his wife. Penelope Bridgerton was found.

Notes:

I know--the cliffhanger! I will update soon!

Until next time lovelies! ;)

Chapter 18: Six months for an Irishwoman

Summary:

We see the story from Pen's side and we also get to see Anthony and Pen talk...along with a reunion of two besties!

Notes:

Hello my amazing readers!

Again I must thank you all for being the best folks in the whole damn world! You make writing fun and each sleepless night worth it (hahaha)

You guys are amazing and I hope that these coming chapters meet all your Penthony needs cause the happy ending is only a few chapters away! I would love them to kiss and make up but we gotta make room for Pen's bright shining awesomeness and space for Anthony to grovel and worship Queen Penelope - am i right?!

for this chapter there is a CW (content warning) brothels and some heartbreak from our main characters. (let me know if there is anything else I should add some warnings for ;))

But this chapter is happy - so there isn't too much doom and gloom. Humor, sadness and happy tears!

As always - enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Six long months and that still could not prepare Penelope for hearing that voice again.

"Pen." The sound of her name drifted into her ears and she looked up to see who had spoken her name.

Time stopped. Those eyes. Dark and yet comforting like warm milk on a cold night. Those eyes! They plagued every waking moment of every hour of every day until Penelope wanted to scream with emotional torment. No matter what she did, nothing could take away the memory of her husband—ex-husband now…or so she thought.

Penelope felt like she had just jumped into a hole and the walls were closing around her. But it was all a dream–right?! It had to be. She had had plenty of dreams like this before where Anthony Bridgerton was seated in the tavern she worked at while she served others–though in all her fantasies she never once dreamed that Eloise would be there also.

The day Penelope left all those months ago was the hardest day of her life. Anthony's tears and pleas for her to stay still haunted her, Eloise's hugs and words of encouragement warmed her, Ben's reassurance and study of place to go were much appreciated. Penelope left a letter for her mother and Violet because Violet was more of a mother to her then the one who birthed her.

It pained her to think she had left without saying goodbye to Violet in person but…maybe one day she would go back and make things right—but that would be in the far future. Penelope could not deal with going back anytime soon. Not while her love for Anthony still burned her broken heart.

When Penelope purchased her fair to Ireland, she knew–thanks to Benedict's extensive studies–that she would be safe there and that she would be well set up, away from all the bad things that she felt tied to here. No one knew about Lady Whistledown in Ireland so no one had any qualms with her nom de plume . It was almost as if all ties were cut loose and Pen was the one who was finally able to hold the knife–figuratively speaking.

The day she reached the shores of Ireland, Penelope rejoiced, because the ocean had not been kind to her. She found out that she was by no means a sailor. Sea sickness was a killer and Pen had fallen prey to such horrid traps. Every sway and bounce of the ship dragged her and her stomach on one hellish journey. The only thing that eased her was writing journal entries to Eloise. The thought that her best friend may experience such travels, the excitement of adventure, the thrill of seeing new places made her happy inside–well except for the vomiting and the headaches from seasickness of course. When they finally reached land Pen rejoiced and wanted to kiss the dewy grass, praying that the swaying would stop. Nothing had ever made her cry tears of joy, except that one joyful moment.

"Ain't got ye land legs back, eh?" A sailor laughed, helping Pen down the deck safely. She smiled as best she could, trying to keep what little food she had eaten down.

Penelope wished never to get on another boat ever again!

"Ney. Be lookin' like I ain't never travelled before." Pen said and chuckle embarrassed, and had enough sense to slip into her Irish accent. The very one that had helped her keep her Whistledown publishings a secret. For if she had not pretended to be the Irish maid then she never would have been able to go undetected through the streets, meaning she never would have been able to master said accent–therefore fitting in perfectly with the locals.

Now it worked like a charm and no one seemed to know any better.

"They be back soon enough, lassie." He said, tipping his hat and walking away.

Pen's smile dropped. The wording had a double meaning to her.

She prayed that Anthony would find her letter and obey her wishes. Because if not then she would have to get on another god forsaken boat and travel elsewhere–somewhere that Anthony could not find her, somewhere that not even the sun could find her–though she hoped it would not have to come to that.

Yet here she was…

Air was becoming scarce and Pen felt as though she would faint.

When Penelope left six months ago, this was what she was afraid of. Anthony was here. Eloise was here! Pen felt ill, the blood drained from her face and she felt as though the stew she had eaten was going to reappear in the most foul way.

I cannot face them.

Breaking eye contact, she turned away and weaved through the crowd, begging to be away from her past. She could not face the past–not now, not when she had spent so long trying to pave the future.

"Penelope!" Anthony called after her and the sound of chairs grinding on the floor filled Pen's ears, spurring her on to run to the kitchen where the backdoor was waiting for her. Pen would not allow him to catch her.

Their last encounter flooded her mind, bringing tears to her eyes.

"I am leaving, Anthony." Pen choked on her tears.

"No." He whispered, shaking his head, "No, you can't."

"I cannot stay here anymore." She pulled away from him–it was almost symbolic, "There is nothing here for me–"

"I am here!" His brown eyes glistened and his voice rose with ferver. Anthony was her reason…but not anymore. He couldn't be–not when he was clearly in love with another.

The beating of her heart matched the rhythm of her feet pounding on the ground as she ran. Adrenaline pumped through her veins and Pen weaved through the maids and cooks to barrel out the back door just praying that she was fast enough to make it to town where it would be much harder to catch her.

"…You must let me go."

"I will never let you go, Penelope Anne Bridgerton, not until I am dead in my grave." Anthony sobbed. "Nothing will ever atone for what I did and I wish every second of every day that I had not done such heinous deeds! Forgive me please, Penelope. I am not deserving of such but I cannot live without you–the thought alone makes me wish to perish. Without you I will cease to exist."

Chilly winds bit into her skin reminding her of the climate difference. Ireland had the most delightful weather but at times things became a little too chilly for her liking. Pen realised that she had not grabbed her coat in her haste to leave the inn, but instead of risking it, she just started her run further into town.

"Let go, my lord." Pen said.

"I beg of you." Anthony grasped tighter and Pen held her breath, knowing that she would break any second if he did not let up his hold, "with my heart and soul–I beg you to stay."

If she were stronger she would have weathered the storm. She would have allowed him to take pleasure in another woman while she slept in a separate room, but Penelope could not. Not when she loved him. Penelope choked on a sob realising that it was true.

Her husband was who she wanted, but he wanted another.

Penelope refused to look back, if she liked back in would slow her down. Every second would count and Pen would not allow herself to be caught. Perhaps if—

"Penelope, I beg you. Be here when I return–please." Anthony gripped her hand and kissed it.

When the boys left the gardens she gave herself no time to paint his picture in her head or fall to her knees in tears like she desperately wanted to, instead she took what little belongings she had and got into the hired carriage, heading straight for the docks where her ship awaited–the one that would take her far away.

An iron grip latched onto her arm and she was jerked to the left. Penelope gasped and tried to scream but a hand was placed firmly over her mouth to keep from making any noise. This had happened once before and Pen had fought her way out–luckily the man was as thin as a toothpick and as light as a feather making it rather easy to knock him out with one punch. Granted she had a killer bruise the next few days.

Blinded by determination Penelope bit down on her captors hand and heard them shriek in pain. Using that surprise, she slammed her heel down on her captors foot and shoved herself free of the loosened grip. Another shout of pain and even a curse but what caused Pen to freeze was the fact that her captor was clearly not Irish–it was in fact…British.

Penelope gulped and turned around to find that her nightmare had materialised.

Anthony was here.

"Penelope." He breathed, still rather puffed out from trying to catch her, "I cannot believe it is truly you."

A flood of emotions filled her and bubbled over with violence. Before she even knew what she was doing, Penelope gripped his lapel and used it as an anchor as she punched him hard in the face guaranteeing he would see stars and taste the metallic flavour of blood. Anthony grunted and his knees buckled.

"I deserved that." Anthony wiped his thumb over the base of his nose to swipe the blood away that had started dripping. He now knew how sorry that man in the tavern must be feeling after nursing his broken nose. Luckily Anthony knew that his nose was not broken and that Penelope had clearly not hit him as hard as the man who had touched her.

Though Anthony reminded himself to kill that man in the tavern for touching his wife.

"I told you not to come–I begged you not to try to look for me!" Penelope's eyes burned with the sting of tears, "Why can you not listen to me for once!?"

Anthony looked at her with guilt.

"Penelope, I needed–"

"Did you ever think about what I needed ?" Penelope croaked, "I needed to be away from you. I needed to run and hide. What I need is to wake up from this nightmare and get ready for another day of wanting to be with you in reality knowing that you don't care about me–don't love me. You love her !"

Penelope sobbed but did not take her eyes off of Anthony.

"If you read my letter you would have known that I am not ready to see you! I told you to stay away–yet another promise you cannot keep–"

"I know and I am sorry. I will never be able to say that word enough but it's all I have. I screwed up. What I did was deplorable, despicable, cruel and evil beyond all measure! I will never be deserving of your forgiveness, Penelope, I know that. What hurts is that I could live my life a million times over and still not be deserving of such." Anthony whispered hoarsely, "But I would live two million more lifetimes just to see you again. Just to know that you were safe . I was sick with worry! If anything happened to you…Oh god I…"

Anthony looked away and clenched his eyes shut as if fighting the images of such horrid happenings. After a few deep breaths he continued and looked her dead in the eyes, not a slither of a lie to be seen.

"I read your letter, yes, and what I found broke my heart, Penelope. My actions spoke otherwise that day, but my heart's one desire, my soul's missing piece, my reason to wake each morning is not and never will be Kate. My only purpose to exist is because I love–"

Before Anthony could finish, Pen's name was shouted to her right. Both sets of eyes turned to see the running Eloise who looked rather dishevelled but clearly did not give a flying fig about it, all she cared about was tackling her best friend and never letting go. Pen's heart stuttered at the sight of her best friend.

"Eloise!" Abandoning Anthony, Penelope ran to meet her friend halfway.

When the two collided, Penelope felt as though she was home–really home.

"Oh, Pen! It is really you!" El sobbed into Pen's shoulder.

"I cannot believe you are here!" Pen wept into her friend's embrace.

If this was a dream, she wanted it to last just a little longer–if that meant she got to embrace her friend just a moment more. Eloise held her tighter and she almost prayed that this was real.

"Please don't let go yet." Eloise cried.

This is real. Eloise truly is here!

Pen thought she would suffocate if she was squeezed any tighter but at this point she did not care. Eloise was in Penelope's arms and she needed to know how much she had missed her friend–who needs air anyhow?

"You really are here!" Pen sobbed.

"I shall never let you go anywhere without me ever again!" El choked on her tears.

Penelope pulled back and looked at her friend in her teary eyes.

"I have missed you so very much."

"As have I!" El laughed happily, "I have so much to tell you! I want to hear about your travels and I want to hear all about what you have been up to–have you visited the Cliffs of Moher? Or how about Ireland's Eye? What of Killarney? I cannot truly believe that the waters of–"

"I shall spare you nothing, I assure you!"

Giggling and boisterous drunk laughter came to the right of her and Pen looked around and realised what part of town they were in. The brothel was right down this street and it was most commonly occupied from lunch to dawn. Most honest men stayed away from this part of town but the majority of them had their pickings of women for cheap pleasures.

Penelope had found the habit disgusting and stayed far away but she knew that most of the maids who worked at the tavern had night jobs there which they all bragged about in the morning. Their descriptions were colourful and Penelope was beet red by the end almost always. Yes she had some tough skin but the act of intimacy still made her blush like a schoolgirl.

When any of the maids giggled about such activities Penelope's mind flashed back to the blinding pleasure that Anthony had made her feel on their wedding night. Some nights she yearned for that same feeling but that feeling soon turned into heartache when she thought back to what Anthony had been doing to Kate that day.

The giggling got closer and Penelope realised that if anyone saw how finely Anthony and Eloise were dress, they would be mugged for sure. These types were greedy for money, drinks and a good night–in the sexual sense. Penelope took her hold of El's hand and smiled reassuringly, trying not to alarm her friend.

"We should find somewhere safer to continue this conversation." Anthony said, cautious of their surroundings, fighting too many emotions to say anything else. Penelope nodded and turned to her friend with a smile on her face.

"Let us go, and I will tell you all on the way, I promise."

Eloise turned to Anthony and made face.

"Brother, what happened to your face?"

"Penance, sister." He muttered under his breath, though in no way bitter.

He deserved that punch...and a million more should Penelope choose that that was what he needed to make things right.

Notes:

See you in a minute ;)

Until next time lovelies!

Chapter 19: My home

Summary:

Penelope takes them to her home and learns some news from home. Anthony gets a lil jealous and Eloise is in awe of all her friend has accomplished as a single woman in a man's world.

Notes:

Good evening folks! Had to make sure I had your chapter for today! Thank you again for your love and support for this story - each and every one of you are incredible an I love you all! Thanks for making writing fun!

For this chapter we are introduced to one of my favourite OC's to write and I hope you love her too. I think I'll start calling her Pen's Irish Grandmother. this chapter was so much fun to write and I hope you like it too.

Tomorrow will get a little bit more on the romance side where we FINALLY see Anthony and Pen have a one on one convo since the day she left.

This chapter is just plain fun and I hope you get a laugh in too.

p.s also I have plenty of Benelope and Penthony fics along with some Polin ones too!!! Also I will be doing a Polin, Benthony and Penthony one-shot series soon and will be opening that up for some suggestions if y'all got any ;)) Let me know if you'd be keen for a smutty series *wink wink*

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Once the three had found a carriage, they returned to the inn and returned their keys, paid for the damages and picked up their bags that they had brought with them, then headed on.

"Where are we going?" Eloise asked excitedly. Anthony just watched out the window of the hired hack like a hawk as if scanning for trouble, Penelope almost wanted to laugh but found it rather hard considering the fact that even looking at him took her breath away.

Turning to her friend fully she replied.

"My house."

The familiar hedges surrounding her cottage came into view and Penelope smiled. She was very blessed with enough funds to grant herself such accommodation. It was modest but very comfortable and more than she ever could have hoped for.

Penelope was lacking nothing in the possession sense, but she still found that her heart longed for the people she loved. Someone to share in her home and pretty gardens. In Pen's many letters to her friend she had done her best to describe her gardens–the very ones that she was exceedingly proud of, but no words seemed to do justice to such pretty growth.

Pen knew that El had a fascination with flowers, reminding her that she must show El the letters from Sir Phillip. Pen had written to him with a list of short stories for the children. He wrote back thanking her and informing her that the children loved them and that they only wanted to read Pen's stories at night before bed. As a thank you he had been kind enough to send her a book to her new home filled with gorgeous pressed flowers and a hand written description of each one. That was when she knew that Sir Phillip and El would get along smashingly, if only she could introduce them.

"And here we are." Penelope smiled when the roof of her home popped into view.

Eloise gasped, "Pen! That is yours?!"

"Yes."

Anthony was in awe that Penelope lived there by herself. It was large enough to not be cramped but small enough to not feel like you were going to be robbed in the wee hours of the night. Penelope had done very well for herself. His heart throbbed. Pen had been forced to adapt to living on her own, after she was allowed no peace from him or her mother–but she had seemed to thrive here and Eloise knew it too.

"Oh, Pen! How can you even afford it?"

Anthony strained his ears begging that she was not about to list that she was familiar with the part of town they had just left.

"I work some days at the inn and…Whistledown money. People seem to love her here." Pen shrugged.

"They know you are Whistledown?" El whispered, eyes wide in shock.

Pen giggled, "Yes, and they find her rather amusing. I still get regular funds from that."

El was getting way too giddy, Pen thought.

"You have news?" Pen knew her friend too well, Anthony thought and huffed a laugh.

El bit her lip excitedly before exclaiming, "I have found some troops to help write Whistledown while you have been away–just until you return of course, but I thought that would keep you from–"

"You did what?" Penelope and Anthony shouted at the same time.

Anthony should have known! It baffled him how Whistledown was still running along smoothly after the real woman behind the pen had left the country. How could he have been so blind again. His own sister! Why was he surprised!

"Everyone would have suspected it was you, Pen, if I had not done something. The Queen would have had your head for treason or something else utterly ridiculous–but this way you are safe and–"

"The Queen will have your head–and mother will have mine if she finds out…oh my head." Anthony squeezed the bridge of his nose trying to get rid of the instant headache. "Is the whole family set on burying me in an early grave or just you and Ben?"

"Hy and Greg should be on that list too." El said and Anthony groaned. "Oh and Daphne with that quick marriage to Simon–but who can forget Colin and his engagement to Marina–"

"Yes, thank you sister." Anthony huffed and looked at Pen whose mouth was wide open.

Penelope would have laughed if she was not caught up on the fact that Lady Whistledown was still running in London! Never in her wildest fantasies did she think that El would continue her work as Whistledown.

"Who are these troops, El?"

"Edwina is one of them along with Fran of course–"

"You have to be kidding me." Anthony slumped further in his chair with defeat.

"Oh and Lady Danbury–"

"What?!" Penelope and Anthony were both staring at El in horror who was filled with amusement. Penelope felt positively faint.

""Ere ye are, lassie." The driver called out.

"Th-thank ye, Derik." Pen croaked in her Irish accent.

As if in a trace, Pen got out of the carriage and paid the driver. Her head was still reeling with the news but for now she just needed to get inside. Once the others exited the carriage Pen heard El gasp and then squeal with glee.

"I still cannot fathom that this is all yours!" El left no time for Anthony and took Pen's hand and dragged her to the door so Pen could give her the tour. Once through the door Eloise could not stop ogling over the fact that Penelope was the woman of her own home, something that Eloise always wished to have.

Anthony realised that this would not help his efforts to have his sister wed for next season. Though that was the terms of their agreement for him to bring her, he knew that this would make it so much harder. But he had to admit that Penelope had set herself up very well.

"Missy! I'm home!" Penelope called out, hanging her coat on the rack. Anthony noticed it was in her normal voice and not her Irish lilt. "Missy is probably in the kitchen. May I get you both anything to eat or drink? Some biscuits and tea or…stronger?" Her last request was directed at Anthony who smiled gratefully at the offer.

"I am too excited to eat anything–I want to see your garden and your reading room and your–"

"El, Penelope may be tired." Anthony insisted.

"No, a tour should be lovely, that way I may show you which rooms you may stay in." Pen said, smiling brightly at El.

Taking her friend's arm she led her down halls and through drawing rooms, pointing out nothing in particular all while answering all of Eloise's endless questions about the house, the cost and even the living arrangements. Anthony clenched his fists when Eloise asked after the handsome neighbour Pen had written about in her last letter.

Penelope laughed.

"Tom is happily married now."

"Shame, I though perhaps–"

"And what of this painting, Penelope." Anthony cut in hurriedly and pointed at a painting of a house by the river, "It is quite lovely."

Eloise glared at him knowing exactly what he was doing. Penelope seemed unaware and answered kindly.

"It came with the house, much like most of the furniture here too, but I liked it too much to get rid of it. I think it fits the house well so I saw no need to move it either."

After half an hour, Pen finally showed them to their rooms.

"And this can be your room, El. The door across is mine and the one to the right is yours, my lord–if you wish it–"

"I am more than happy to take the floor."

"You will do no such thing." Pen said, taking a no nonsense tone. "I will have Missy change the bedding so it may be fresh and then you may get properly settled. Until then, you both must be exhausted. I will have baths drawn for the both of you."

Eloise seemed to sigh happily just at the thought of a warm bath and thanked her friend gratefully. Anthony was just as grateful but was conscious that Pen must be just as exhausted as they were considering she had been working for god knows how long. Those bags under her eyes showed that she was desperate for more than just three hours sleep.

Just before Pen left, she grabbed El and pulled her into another hug.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Pulling away she smiled and then left them both to settle into their rooms.

It was not until Pen stood on the stairs that the weight of it all crashed on her. This was real. They were real and in the home that she had bought to hide from them. Had she not already invited them into her home, or had them catch her, Penelope surely would have hired a hack and run off as far as her pennies would take her.

Anthony is really here. My past caught up to me. I thought I had time.

Shoving away the confrontation, Penelope took a deep breath and headed for the kitchen where Missy would be preparing loaves of bread for her and the neighbours. The day that Penelope had met the neighbours was when she decided that she wanted to use some of her funds to help keep them afloat. The Korter family was a family of seven and Mrs Korter was in a bad way, meaning that the six children were rather off by themselves. Mr Korter had long since passed and Penelope was more than happy to lend a hand with the children's schooling while Mr Thomas Korter–a twenty-three year old man, slaved away to keep food filtering through the house.

Tom was a strapping young man whom Pen found excellent company when he could spare the time. She ate with the family on many occasions and enjoyed the noise and laughter that filtered through all the smiling children. Mrs Korter was as sweet as pie and had such a golden heart.

"Be seein' ye, Miss Pen." He would say whenever they passed one another on his way to work with a nod of his head and a tip of his hat.

Penelope was flustered when his siblings asked if she would be their new sister and marry Tom, but she replied sweetly and told them that Tom was not in love with her. They all thought they were being quiet as they plotted to have their brother marry Miss Pen, they were encouraged by their matchmaking mama who was just as fond of the redhead as her children were.

Well they were to be disappointed because Tom soon married a local who was charming and deserving of him. She fit in perfectly and the children nearly forgot that Penelope was who they wanted for a sister–though Mrs Korter was still trying to match her to her twenty year old son with Pen. The woman would not catch the hint. Though such matchmaking still occurred, Pen continued to bring them loaves of bread and on occasions, some veggie soup if Missy had all the ingredients for it.

Today was one such day where Missy was able to cook up a huge batch that would last the Korker's well into the week. Missy loved those kids and was happy to assist in any way she could. Pen was her favourite mistress she had ever had. Pen was not unkind, or stern by any means, she asked for little and was easily satisfied.

There were times where Missy would be worried sick if Penelope had a late shift at the inn and came in well into the dark hours of the night. Missy waited for Penelope to come home every night she worked and ensured she was fed properly too. Being a sixty year old servant for one easy girl was by no means a struggle.

"Missy." Penelope kissed her maid on the cheek as a greeting.

"You be home early." Missy smiled and dusted off her floury hands on her apron.

"I have visitors. I do not know how long they will be staying but I am more than happy to help with the chores, I should hate for you to–"

Missy started clicking her tongue.

"I better not be hearin' anyt'ing 'bout it. I be doin' the cleanin'. Start earnin' me keep." Missy winked and continued kneading the bread, "Who be these guests?"

Penelope smiled.

"They are good people. From…London."

Missy stopped her kneading to look at Pen with weathered eyes. Over the course of five and a half months, Penelope had grown closer to her maid and had seen fit to share her tales from home one night when Penelope decided to try whiskey to drown some pain. Missy embroidered and listened to every word. When Penelope broke down into tears, Missy held Pen and rocked her to sleep.

Now that Missy knew what London meant, her sensors were sharpened.

"Are ye well, dearie?" Missy asked, concern lacing her voice.

Penelope nodded even though she felt like she needed a hug of reassurance. Missy seemed to read her mind and waddled over to give Penelope a hug and a floury kiss on the head. Growing up, Penelope was never close with any of her relatives–grandmother and grandfather included–so having Missy care for her and love her, almost felt like she had a grandmother.

"Everyt'ing will turn out well."

Before Penelope could say anything else Anthony appeared at the kitchen stairs.

"Sorry to bother you, but Eloise wanted to know if you had any ink so she may write home." Anthony asked, eyes on Pen.

"O-of c-course." Curse her for stuttering. "In m-my–ehem, in my office, there should be some ink and parchment for her to use. Tell her she is more than welcome to use my desk if she is more comfortable there then in the guest room."

Anthony smiled and nodded then turned to Missy and smiled at her too before turning around to leave.

"My, my. He be dashin' indeed." Missy giggled, "If I were a few years younger…"

She let the sentence hang as she winked at Pen dramatically so she saw the emphasis.

"Missy!" Pen chuckled, rather astounded.

"Can ye blame me. Ye takin' 'nother look and tell me he ain't prett' to look at." Missy shrugged.

Pen just shook her head laughing and grabbed some dough to help knead, completely unaware that Anthony had heard their conversation with a smile on his face and a new spring in his step.

Notes:

Until next time lovelies! ;))

Chapter 20: Do I dare hope?

Summary:

One week with Penelope and Anthony finally gets to have a one on one conversation with her.

Anthony asks Pen for a sliver of hope...what will she say?

Notes:

Eeeeeeeeeee!

So that just happened!

Okay - I am very proud of this chapter and I hope you all enjoy it. I loved grovelling Anthony but I think he has had served his time. In this chapter we see hints of jealous Anthony, pissed off Colin and snarky Eloise.

CW (content warning); mild violence and mild depressing thoughts from Anthony.

Thank you again my amazing folks for sticking around and reading along. I look forward to seeing you all in the next chapters ;) Please feel free to leave a comment or a suggestion below! 3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Over the course of a week Penelope showed them around Ireland and shared her tales that Eloise begged for. El was so gobsmacked by all that was around them that she wished to stay, but she knew that would never happen. Anthony was very intrigued but all of Ireland's gorgeous landscapes and attractions could have melted away and he would only see Penelope, the most stunning sight of all.

Each evening they dined together and never ran out of things to say or stories to share, although they all ignored the topic of Penelope returning with them, and the topic of one Miss Sharma. None of them wished to speak of her in the first place.

Eloise told such funny stories about Hyacinth and Gregory, but also such great news of Benedict being accepted into his dream art school and Penelope was so very proud of him. She knew that he was not lacking in talent, she just hoped that the school saw his potential. One evening Penelope asked after her family and Violet and Fran and even Colin.

Anthony gulped at the mention of his younger brother. When Colin finally returned home–which was not long after Penelope had fled–he was still rather sour but he was clearly trying to be happy for his oldest brother–though Anthony saw that his heart yearned for Penelope.

But once Violet told Colin that Pen had left and the circumstances as to why, Colin gave Anthony the beating of his life, not caring one bit that Anthony did not try to fight him back.

Anthony remembered the incident as clear as day.

He had returned to Number Five to stay seeing as the memory of Aubury Hall was tainted with his mistakes. It was rare for Anthony to surface from his office as he was deep in his cups, sleepless and wallowing. Violet would check on him often but he refused to talk, all he did was stare at the office door and pray that Penelope would walk through it. Drunkardly he tried to wrack his brain for any clues given by his tight-lipped brother or by the woman in question, but his success was not founded.

The day he thought he had made progress, Colin barged into his office and slapped him hard across the face. His already sleep deprived and drunk hazy eyes blurred even more.

"Colin, what the blazes–"

"Tell me you didn't and I will forgive you. Tell me you did not touch another woman and I will walk out this door and proclaim to the whole damn street that you are my favourite brother. Can you do that?" Colin's eyes were begging with restrained anger.

Anthony could not meet his brother's honest green eyes. He knew that if he looked up he would have seen the devastation in Colin's eyes and that was what hurt even more. The thought of any of his siblings, or his parents being disappointed in him was like a punch to the gut.

And Colin was about to punch him in the gut literally.

"Answer me, Anthony!"

"What do you want me to say, brother?!" Anthony shouted, tears running down his eyes as he finally faced his brother, "What?! That I ignored Penelope for a week after I found out she was Whistledown. That I insulted her by calling her and defended my previous whore against my wife. Or Perhaps that I did not comfort her when Marina died?! Or the fact that I was weak and cruel by touching another woman?!"

Anthony slammed his whiskey glass on the wall and threw his head in his hands.

"Damn it all Colin, I cannot tell you what you wish to hear!"

Colin did not wait a second longer to slap his brother again, but this time he followed it up with a punch to the gut. After what felt like an hour Anthony was on the floor coughing up spit mingled with blood.

"I made you swear that you would look after her and you couldn't even do that!! You fucking bastard!!" Colin shouted as he landed yet another nose-breaking punch, "You broke her heart, Anthony and for that you will pay with your life!"

Anthony was certain that his brother would have gone through with the threat if Violet herself had not screamed for the violence to stop. Colin's eyes were rageful and his body shook with restraint. Anthony's lip was split, coughing up blood and could not see out of one eye as it was swollen shut. Part of him wished his mother had not stopped Colin, because that way he would not have to end the misery himself and the pain would be nothing but a distant memory.

Shaking himself from the memory, Anthony tried to focus on what Eloise was saying.

"...next season–though perhaps Mother will be too distracted with Fran's coming out that she may just forget that I am supposed to find–"

"That was part of the deal, El." Anthony said pointedly.

"What deal?" Penelope asked curiously.

"Nothing–"

"I told Anthony that if–" El glared at her brother as she spoke.

"El." Anthony warned, sending her a severe look.

"What? Why can't she know? If anything it will only prove how determined I am."

"No one was ever in doubt of your stubbornness, sister." Anthony rolled his eyes and took another spoonful of the veggie soup. Penelope giggled and mouthed a sorry to her friend.

"It is only because I have the most insistent brother."

"I think it can be said that no Bridgerton is lacking strength in any areas of spirit." Penelope said as a means to make them laugh, which it did.

"How very true." Anthony looked her dead in the eyes. His meaning very clear, though he said nothing to clarify.

And so the conversation moved on to brighter things, such as Penelope talking of her neighbours–but she was paying too much attention bringing us handsome Tom for Anthony's liking and so he finally spoke up.

"Husband's don't usually like to hear their wives talk about the handsomeness of other men."

Penelope stuttered for a moment, boggled.

"But you are not my husband anymore." Trying to inject humour in her tone so they could go back to happier things, but Anthony was almost insulted that she thought he had really gone through with signing those god forsaken papers. Instead of saying such, he merely smiled at Penelope and ignored El's glares while answering her.

"By law we are." Anthony took another bite of his steak and hmmed approvingly, "This is very good, I must compliment–"

"I beg your pardon." Penelope dropped her cutlery clanging loudly on the plates.

"I was saying that I must tell Missy that–"

"The other thing you said…before that."

"Before that…" Anthony pretended to think and tried to hide the wince when El kicked him in the shin, "Ah yes, that we are still married by law."

Penelope's mouth hung wide open.

"But…b-but the papers–"

"Ah yes the papers!" Anthony again ignored his sister's looks, "Those papers were used for other more useful things. It got rather chilly one night and I was out of kindling so I decided to use–"

"You burnt them?!"

"To ashes." He said seriously, "Unrecognisable ashes."

The next thing they knew, Missy brought out dessert and they all thanked her, though all of them remained silent. It took Eloise a moment to break the tension–but it was so thick she nearly suffocated on it. Anthony did not take his eyes off of Penelope even as El spoke.

"I am so very tired!" Eloise yawned dramatically and stretched her arms.

"O-of course," Penelope rose from the chair and walked over to her friend, "You must be tired." Penelope said and hugged her friend good night. "Rest well and I shall see you in the morning."

"Perhaps we may go into town tomorrow and you can show me the post so I may send a letter to Mama?" El smiled brightly.

"Of course." Pen said and with one final hug let Eloise leave to go to bed.

Anthony would have stayed if it had not been for Eloise dragging him out of the room with her, barely giving him time to say his goodnights and following his sister to see that she made it to her room alright. When they reached her door Eloise turned around and poked him hard in the chest, brown eyes hard and serious.

"Do not try it, brother."

"I will have you know that Ben snores much louder than I." Anthony jested. El was not amused.

"If you hurt her again, I will see to it that you never set eyes on her ever again, do you understand me?" Eloise said, not a lie to be found.

Without waiting for his response, she turned in for the night and shut the door. Anthony closed his eyes and battled what to do next. With El gone to bed he now was able to talk with Pen alone, without constantly battling for her attention, but he did not want to push her–especially seeing as they only just got here. He did not want to rock the boat–but then again…for a boat to move the water needed to stir and the wind needed to blow heavily. But sometimes strong winds sink a boat altogether.

Taking a deep breath Anthony decided to go down to his room and just wait. Perhaps if he tried to sleep then his desires would flee and his hope would return. Anthony did not doubt his sister's resolve–he knew that she would ensure that Penelope was never seen by him again if he did anything to hurt her again. If only he could prove that he had no desire whatsoever to see her in pain ever again.

Anthony tossed and turned in the bed for hours before he sat bolt up and decided he had had enough. Putting appropriate clothes back on, he made his way downstairs and went to the drawing room hoping that the fire was still burning slightly. He tiptoed down the stairs hoping not to wake anyone, and finally made it.

As soon as he entered the room he noticed two things; first, the fire was still burning which was a blessing–and the second was that someone was in the room. Part of him thought that it might be El came back down to read, seeing as he had caught her on many occasions while they were home, reading until late in the night, in the library. Though it was not. Eloise did not have red hair.

"The beating of the waves upon the sharp rocks imitates the sound of my heart breaking

To see is to hear, can they tell my hands are violently shaking;

No words, no sound comes from my lips

To think back when I mapped your heart with my fingertips…"

Penelope's melodic voice reached his ears. She was reading a poem of some sort. He had never heard this one before. The picture it painted was rather tragic but almost had a form of hope injected into it.

"Can he tell I long for him now?

One can only dream, but how?

Is it by day or by night that I can finally dream

Do I face the past and go back to him?"

Anthony thought he better make himself known before Eloise found him slinking around the door, staring at Pen longingly.

"It is a lovely poem." He said.

Pen gasped and clutched her chest in fright. "Oh, my lord, forgive me I did not know you were there."

Anthony moved deeper into the room, feeling the warmth seep further into his bones.

"Is the room not to your liking? Are you warm enough? I am more than happy to lend you–"

"I am warm and the room is more than enough, thank you." He was quick to reassure her that her hospitality was more than he thought possible. Half of him expected that she would kick him out in the stables or have him stay at the inn where they came from.

To be honest, Penelope thought so too, but she was not going to say so.

"Is…is there anything else I can help you with?"

Come home.

"I could not sleep. Forgive me for disturbing you, I thought you had turned in for the night. I will let you get back to your reading–"

"You may stay. I was only writing."

"Writing? " Anthony felt his heart grow heavy. "Those words were…your own?"

Blue eyes widened just slightly as she nodded. There was silence as they gazed into each others eyes. Anthony felt himself draw closer until he was but an arms length away. Penelope looked so small and vulnerable, but he was certain he looked like that too, if not weaker.

For six months he had thought of what to say to her when he saw her again but now that he looked her in the eyes, all of those studied words evaporated from his mind.

Anthony took another step closer and gently moved a red tendril out of her face as he looked down at her longingly. After so long, he was finally able to look into her eyes properly–no interruptions, no one but them. Brushing his fingers along her soft cheek he was in awe of the woman before him.

"How can something be so beautiful?" He whispered as if to himself.

"M-my lord?" Penelope breathed.

He continued to marvel in the way the fire's glow shone against her pale skin, illuminating her in her white nightgown. She looked like a goddess coming into the night. Each breath she took reminded him that she was real and standing before him in all her wondrous glory. When her poked her pink tongue out to moisten her lips Anthony was drawn to how the fire made them look like they were begging for him to press his own lips against hers. As if Penelope was a magnet, Anthony drew closer still, careful to allow her space to pull away.

"My l-lord, what are–"

"I am sorry, Penelope. Every cruel word and vile act against you I beg for your forgiveness," Anthony looked deep in her crystal eyes, "Though I cannot and will not apologise for searching for you. You must have known that I would have searched heaven and earth to find you."

Penelope felt tears sting her eyes.

"I assure you, my lord, that I thought I would never see you again."

"Then you do not know me very well."

"That much remains clear." She whispered, a tear falling down her cheek.

Anthony leaned down and kissed her tear away. Penelope froze and hissed in a breath.

"No," Penelope shoved him away from her, "No, I will not fall for this again. I refuse to believe that you…I…I cannot dare to hope again. My heart cannot take any more Bridgerton agony."

Her voice was low but serious and sure. He could see that she was shaking and he wanted to hold her, reassure her–beg her to be his once more.

"Penelope, please–"

"How could you burn them? I gave you–" Pen sobbed quietly, "I gave you those papers to free you so you could marry that woman! God I–no–I cannot–I will not do this."

"You should not have to." Anthony said softly, and Pen turned around to face him, "How can you not see? That day you left me will forever be the worst day of my life–and I know that I deserved it. If the roles were reversed I would have done the same thing. You have hosted me even when you still know of my betrayal and cowardice. How could you face it?"

Pen laughed slightly, not sure why though.

"My hope dangles by a thread and only you can snap the string or restore it. You must know that I…I cannot stop. I will never stop. Not when my heart burns for yours. Not unless you tell me now that you do not want me. Because Penelope Anne Bridgerton, if there is even a fraction of hope that you may be mine again–that you could still love me–then I will wait a billion lifetimes just to have you."

Anthony was once again on his knees before her, just like the day she left, six months ago. Penelope choked on more tears while Anthony held his at bay, even though his eyes burned just like his heart did.

"I have given you no reason to trust me, none at all–but…" Anthony reached into his pocket and pulled out Penelope's wedding ring causing Pen to gasp, "But I…I love you Penelope and I want to spend every minute of every day proving that to you, if only you will let me."

Pen's mouth hung open as she looked down at him with teary eyes.

"Should I dare to hope that this ring may don your finger once more? May I fantasise that I am able to call you my darling . Is it possible to dream that I may one day wake up beside you again?" Anthony choked on his tears, "May I be granted the honour of holding your heart once more? Penelope, will you allow me to wish that you may come home with me?"

Biting her quivering lip, Penelope got down on her knees with him. His eyes fell to the floor as she took his hands in her own. He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them as if they were a most precious treasure–which to him, they were.

The beating of his heart was erratic and he was certain he could not take it if she was to tell him to leave. When she didn't, Anthony looked up at her with hope.

"I cannot…" She stopped and bit her lip.

Anthony felt his heart shatter and his dreams come smashing to the floor. Closing his eyes, he felt the world come crashing down and he buried his head in her hands, placing gentle kisses on them as if thanking her, praising her, begging her.

"I cannot give you something you already have, Anthony." Pen whispered, "You already have my heart, and you will always have my love."

Anthony snapped his head up to Pen's and looked into her eyes with disbelief. Had she really just said what he thought she did. The flame that was now but a tiny spark started to burn into a fiery inferno of hope and passion, and without thinking, Anthony took Pen's gorgeous face in his hands and crashed his lips into hers.

Notes:

Until next time lovelies! ;)

Chapter 21: Kiss me like you mean it, Anthony ()

Summary:

It was time for Anthony to worship Penelope and Pen to hear Anthony's story - briefly (cause we need some kissing and some good ol' healthy love smut)

Notes:

Sorry this is late y'all! Got held up at work and was pushing through to get this out for you--oh well, better late then never!

I hope you like this chapter. I am super proud of this one and I hope you get butterflies and even *wink wink* hehe

Thank you to everyone who has read through this story thus far - still got a happy ending and plenty of SMUT to come (pun intended)

So for those who don't read smut this chapter is not the chapter for you but I will do some warnings because there is still plot in this chapter! As always - Love you all! And I hope you enjoy

Chapter Text

"I cannot give you something you already have, Anthony." Pen whispered, "You already have my heart, and you will always have my love."

Anthony's eyes snapped up to meet hers. In them she saw his eyes reignite with passion and longing. It was almost as if she could see his hope being restored in his chocolate brown eyes. The sight brought more tears to her eyes.

The next thing Penelope knew was Anthony gripping her face and drawing his lips on hers. Penelope sucked in a breath and felt her insides melt as Anthony wrapped one of his arms around her waist and tug her closer. It no longer mattered where they were or that they were on their knees in the drawing room, or that the fire was dying down–they were each other's warmth.

Pen knew the saying a picture paints a thousand words, but she believed that a kiss held a million. Each gentle kiss that Anthony bestowed on her pillowy soft lips, she heard every apology and every word he was screaming. They all seemed to beg her forgiveness and tell of his love.

Sliding her hand up his shoulders and in his hair she gently kissed him back, craving the feeling of the one she loved. Penelope never thought she would ever get the chance to kiss the man she loved–even when she thought that was Colin–but miracles happen.

Soon Anthony started peppering her faces with sweet kisses that were feather soft.

"I love you." Kiss.

"I adore your smile." Kiss.

"I cherish your laugh." Kiss.

"I am proud of what you have accomplished." Kiss. Kiss.

"I worship the ground you walk on." Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

"I am in love with Penelope," Kiss. "Anne." Kiss. "Bridgerton." Kiss.

Penelope felt loved, adored, cherished and worshipped. She kept her eyes closed to savour the sensation of Anthony's warm lips trailing her face and breathing such beautiful words about her. In no means was she vein or shallow, but she needed to hear and feel his love.

When Anthony's lips drew lower and placed a breathtaking kiss on her pulsepoint Pen hissed in a breath. He froze, not wanting to take advantage of her, thinking back to that dreaded day where he sought pleasure elsewhere.

"I never meant to hurt you, you must believe me." He whispered into her skin, refusing to move unless she asked him to, "The day you told me you were Whistledown I was jealous…for how could someone so young have created something so…"

"Evil?" She breathed.

Pen felt him cringe against her skin, clearly thinking back to when he called her just that.

"No, not evil–never evil. Powerful and meaningful. Something that stopped the world and made them look in the mirror. I hated Whistledown because I hated the man I saw in the mirror." Anthony kissed her pulsepoint again, trying to emphasise that he thought only good of her. "Now I see all you have accomplished and am in awe of my wife ."

Penelope shivered.

"I thought myself in love with Miss Sharma and told her in no uncertain terms a few days before our wedding, after I had spoken to Edwina about what had happened. When she came to me, I did not try to stop her. I was angry–but that will forever be a damnable excuse. I have none. Nothing that can justify why I held her like that." Anthony squeezed her tighter, "No matter what I say or how many times you forgive me, I will always regret what I did those days. You needed a husband and a friend, not a villian who ignored you and a bastard who touched someone else."

The memory was still flashing in Pen's mind but she tried to push it away. The image still caused her to shiver and the days after that of sobbing in her room and fighting against running to her mother was unimaginably painful.

"Now I must know–I must know whether or not my sins can be forgiven?"

It was one thing to love him and another to look past the acts that haunted her. Anthony was the one she loved and wanted to be with for the rest of her life–but was she able to ignore and push aside all that had come before them.

Whistledown came to mind. Penelope had ruined him on many occasions. She had been close to ruining his family on even more occasions, yet he was willing to look past that and see all that she had created–the empire, the genius of Whistledown and forgive her for all that may have happened.

If this man before her, was able to forgive her for her acts against him, then Penelope wanted to grant him that same relief she felt, when she heard him say those gratifying words. It would take time and effort, but like Sir Phillip had said; all things that are worth fighting for take effort and hard work.

Penelope cupped Anthony's face so she could look him in his misty eyes.

"I forgive you, Anthony." Kiss.

"I want to be your darling, Anthony." Kiss.

"I love you, Anthony." Kiss. Kiss.

Her lips became wet with the tears running down Anthony's face. Forgiveness was a sweet taste and she knew that, meaning she understood how special it was for him to know that she forgave him. In his state she knew that he was holding back, making sure that she was not overwhelmed with his attention but she wanted him–fully and wholly.

"Kiss me like you mean it, Anthony." Penelope whispered against his lips. "Kiss me as my husband, as my love, as mine."

She almost felt Anthony snap.

In a swift movement, Anthony was on his feet and lifted Penelope into his arms, but before she could squeal or even gasp Anthony covered her mouth with his in a passionate kiss. Never moving away from her, Anthony placed her to sit on the edge of the drawing room sofa so he could kneel before her and still stay kissing her.

Penelope ran her fingers through his soft hair, feeling so very beautiful in his arms. Anthony moaned into her mouth and trailed one of his hands down until it rested on the underside of her knee. Not knowing how he did it, but Penelope soon became aware that there was a weight on her womanhood and realised that somehow Anthony had pried her legs open and she was practically straddling his stomach.

Gripping her thighs, he tugged her closer until she was pressed fully into him. Pen moaned and Anthony took advantage and gently licked into her mouth. The heat of the fire was gone but neither of them cared seeing as the warmth came from both of their bodies radiating passion and love.

"I love you Mrs Bridgerton." Anthony started sucking the soft skin under her ear and Penelope was breathing unevenly. Heaven above that felt amazing.

Pen tilted her head backwards to allow him space to kiss her more. Her body screamed for him and if she could read his mind, she would have seen how badly he wanted her–needed would have been the more appropriate word for it. Anthony craved his wife–but not just sexually. She was not a sex toy, she was the earth, the rising and setting sun, the moon, the stars and the balance of time. Without her, he would cease to exist.

"I love you." He repeated as he bit the soft flesh then slowly soothed the sting with his tongue. The wet heat of it caused Penelope to moan.

A dull throb set into her womanhood and Penelope desperately wanted to move or find friction but did not want the kisses and sucking to stop. What she seemed to have forgotten was the fact that Anthony also had hands.

A gentle caress over the thin fabric of her nightgown was all it took to have her nipples pebbled with need. Moaning, she tugged his hair. Anthony responded eagerly by trailing his kisses lower to then start sucking her collarbone. That milky smooth collarbone. The first night, Anthony had been so filled with lust he was barely able to admire the softness of her skin or the beauty of her for all she was worth.

If he thought she was beautiful then, he thought she was gorgeous now.

Penelope was panting slightly and desperate for him to just touch her.

"I am touching you, my darling ." Anthony said.

Pen moaned. Damn her and speaking her thoughts.

Before she could tell him off for teasing, he cupped one of her underboobs and used his thumb to graze her already peaking nipples. The sensation shot electricity through her whole body, settling in her nether regions–that was growing increasingly wetter.

"Anthony." She moaned and tipped her head back, a flush building.

"Let me worship you with unhurried time, my love." Anthony whispered as he kissed the tops of her breasts. "A goddess such as yourself must be praised accordingly, and I intend to show you just how much I love you."

Like the touch of a feather Anthony started adding pressure to her bosoms with a gentle squeeze. Moans cascaded from Pens lips and whimpers were coaxed from her as her husband sung her praise as he whispered soft kisses into her skin.

"Anthony." Penelope rocked her hips slightly, shooting a bolt of lightning up her spine. "Oh, please."

"I know, my love." Anthony whispered, kissing back up to her ear.

Wrong way!

Anthony chuckled quietly as she whined. He knew exactly what he was doing. He vowed not to keep this from her. He intended to take her any way she allowed, but he wanted to take his time loving her and showing her his love in return.

Another squeeze and Penelope jerked her front forward on instinct, again feeling that pressure rising in her. The friction was delicious and she wanted it to never stop. Anthony was kneading her breast just the right way as he sucked the delicate flesh of her collarbone. Soon Pen was grinding into him on instinct.

"Good girl, my darling." Anthony said, as he pulled away just slightly and began to pull down the top of her nightdress. But right before he could see anything and Penelope got excited, he stopped and looked her in the eyes, "May I keep going."

"If you don't I will punch you again." Pen replied, flushed with need.

Anthony laughed and continued. When the fabric was pulled all the way down, her breasts spilled free but this time Anthony allowed himself a moment to marvel at how stunning his wife's form was. Last time he got to play with her bosoms, he had been too hasty to dive in and not bask in their most gorgeous size and feel.

Gently he grazed his thumb over the peaks and shivered as Pen groaned. Outlining her nipple he traced them with his fingertips.

" The beating of the waves upon the sharp rocks imitates the sound of my heart beating

To see is to hear, can she tell the trail my hands are taking;

No words, no sound comes from my lips

To think back when I mapped your heart with my fingertips."

Penelope gasped as her words from before cae from his lips–granted he changed them slightly. There was something so sexy about her husband speaking poetry while he held her.

"Can she tell I long for her now?

One can only dream, but how?

Is it by day or by night that I can finally dream

I hope the pleasure I give her makes her scream."

A louder moan came from her lips when the feeling of Anthony's hot, wet mouth latched onto her nipple and started to suck. Anthony gave each breast the attention it deserved and moaned when Penelope grazed his fully erect cock when she rubbed her womanhood against him.

He might have cum by that alone if he was not determined to make sure she was taken care of.

"Oh I love you."

"Ah! I love– Oh Anthony. " Pen whimpered, trying to keep quiet seeing as it was way past bedtime. She feared that if they went any further that the whole house would surely know what they were doing–not just the whole house, maybe even the neighbours. Poor Eloise should not have to walk in and see this again.

Anthony continued with kissing and licking her breasts, but soon his hands diverted to cup her bum and press her further into him making her moan louder and grind into him further. God that felt so good. So so sooooo good!

"Anthony." She panted, "uh–if we don't…stop, then we may wake…oughh –oh my god!" Penelope bit her lip when Anthony's hand somehow appeared under the layers of her nightgown and ran his thumb over her weeping pussy.

The sensation had her body in overdrive and her mind went numb. Her thoughts flew out the window, there was only her and Anthony who existed now. No one could break this bubble, this fortress.

Penelope moaned loudly when Anthony started to use his thumb to softly pry his digits in her forbidden lips. Soon Anthony started drawing slow circles on her clit, causing Penelope to bite her lip to keep from shouting. Instead of muffling her moans with her hand, Penelope pulled Anthony's head away from her lavished breasts and started to return the favour by latching her lips onto his neck and kissing and nipping and even sucking, which had Anthony panting in pleasure.

He refused to cum like a green boy.

"My darling, this is about you not–oh!" He gasped when she took a hold of his thigh and pulled him closer to her. Penelope moaned into his neck and he felt the vibrations all the way down to the tips of his tingling toes.

But before either of them could go any further they heard a loud crash. They both jumped at the sound. Turning they saw that the wind had blown the window right open, letting the cold air seep into the already chilly room–though neither of them could tell seeing as they were toasty warm in each other's embrace.

"Me eyes are closed and yee have 'xactly fifteen seconds t' look presentable 'fore I walk int' the room." An Irish accent filled their ears.

Both of their eyes widened and both were on their feet in seconds, fixing themselves up before Missy entered the room. As promised, fifteen seconds later, Missy entered the room with a lamp and an unimpressed look on her face.

"Missy, what are you doing up so late?" Penelope asked, trying to hide her embarrassed flush.

"Could ask ye the same t'ing." Missy glared at Anthony who cleared his throat also trying to hide his rather obvious arousal.

"I could not sleep and so I was up writing. Lord Bridgerton only came down moments ago as he was finding it hard to get any sleep also." Penelope said, although she knew that any explanation was useless. Miss clearly knew what had just transpired between them–else she would not have given them a moment to make themselves presentable.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to wake you, Missy. I only wish to be in your good graces."

"Not all ye wish to be in." Missy made a quick but obvious look at Anthony's erection and he blushed wildly. This maids candidness was to be admired to be sure.

"Missy!" Pen gasped.

"I may be as ol' as time but I got eyes." She rolled her good eyes.

Penelope was mortified but found that she shivered due to the winds. The window was yet to be closed.

"Now I de nae wanna see any sneakin' 'bout. Off to bed with the both of ye–in different rooms if I ain't been clear before."

Both blushed wildly and nodded. Missy waited for them to leave the room before smiling and shaking her head and shut the window. The sound of the doors shutting told her that both of them had gone to their rooms, but she was positive that she heard Anthony tell Penelope that he loved her before he kissed her.

Missy went to her room and blew out the candle, happiness filling her heart that Pen seemed genuinely happy again. A glow in her heart.

Pen laid in her bed feeling like she was on top of the clouds, having the most splendid dream. It was not until ten minutes after she had kissed Anthony goodnight that she had felt a cold metal on her finger. When she looked down she realised that Anthony had slipped her wedding ring back on her finger while they were kissing.

A teary and quiet laugh came from her throat.

"I love you, Anthony." Pen whispered before falling asleep with a smile on her face.

Chapter 22: Letters and dreams

Summary:

Eloise talks to Penelope about what has been bothering her.

(Philoise ;))

A good morning kiss from Anthony and a serious question from Penelope

Notes:

Who wants some Philoise teasers?! I do!

Thank you for your patience folks! Wanted to get this out for you ASAP but last night was crazy!

Your comments for the last chapter were so encouraging and I am soooo glad you liked it.

(Also Missy was being a cockblock cause she doesn't want Pen hurt again - she knows that Ant is Pen's hubby but she is overly protective and would skin him alive if he hurt her.)

This chapter is pretty mild smut so I just didn't add the stars. Just know that the beginning has some mild smut.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I will see you all in the next chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Penelope was having the most wonderful dream about how Anthony and her were dancing together at a ball and how they talked endlessly, all while never taking their eyes off one another. It was such a beautiful dream–but then an annoying noise reached her ears, waking her from her dream.

Peaking her eyes open slightly she looked to see that it wasn't even bright outside. A persistent knock was coming from the door and Pen half wanted to ignore it and go back to sleep but when she heard the voice of El whisper;

"Pen, it's me."

She threw the covers off of her bed and sleepily reached the door. When she opened the door she saw her friend was wide awake and had a most concerning look on her face. Eloise was not a morning person by any means, and was most certainly not one to sleep in her clothes–so why was she in her day dress?

"El, what is the matter?" Penelope asked in her morning voice, still laced with sleep.

"I don't know what is wrong with me!" She said, biting her thumbnail.

Pen then took note that her friend was breathing rather fast and flushing in the face. If Penelope did not know any better she would have guessed that her friend was…but that was impossible–Eloise was not aroused.

"What are you talking about?"

"They terrify me. Each one is different and each one has me waking up with the most uncomfortable ache." Eloise walked further in the room and started pacing. "I cannot figure out why."

"El, I am confused." Pen said, grabbing her shawl for the early morning air.

Eloise could not look her in the eye. The sight made Pen think something was very wrong. Eloise had been having these recurring dreams and they were so confusing to her–she could not figure out why they made her so frustrated, or so needy. She would never dare share such news with her mother–or even Benedict for that matter.

The only person she wished to confide in was Pen, but Pen had been so far away when it all started.

To be clear, the dream was by no means cruel or vile, though to Eloise, the concept was unthinkable. After that most horrendous day where Eloise had asked Benedict to take her to see Penelope and Anthony the day after their wedding and he had agreed–albeit with a knowing glint in his eye–Eloise had been having the most peculiar dreams.

"Can you help me? I need to understand why I keep having these dreams."

Penelope saw how panicked her friend was and so took her hand and led them to the bed. They sat down and Pen waited for her friend to share what was happening.

"Well, I have been having these dreams, you see. And I…I do not understand what is happening."

"So these dreams are…bad?" Pen frowned.

"Yes!" El then resumed biting her nails and blushing, "Aren't they?"

"I would not know, seeing as I do not know what you are dreaming about." Pen tried to joke.

"Oh, of course." Eloise decided to share her latest dream with her best friend, "Well most of them would start off with me writing letters. I am in a new home that overlooks the most adoring garden. The sun would be streaming through the window and the breeze would start to tickle my ear…but…"

"Yes?"

"All would be well, until a man would come up behind me and place a gentle kiss on my forehead. Out of instinct, I smile and greet him as my husband."

"Good morning, my dear." The man would say.

"Good morning to you as well." El would reply, never taking her eyes from her letter.

A deep and rich chuckle rumbled through his throat and seemed to vibrate. The sound was muffled as his warm lips gently traced her neck. Eloise felt her breath hitch, but still she did not take her eyes from her work.

"Will you not spare me a minute?" He said, "I very much enjoy your company."

Eloise looked up at her friend to see that she was listening and understanding. Pen remained silent and listened with keen ears.

"You have to say that as my husband." Eloise heard herself saying to the man in her dream. "But this cannot wait. I want to write down all my thoughts before they…before they…"

"Yes?" The man smirked into her neck as he could tell that his gentle kisses were turning her brain to mush. A slow and dull sort of flame would set into her tummy.

"Before they…disappear." She closed her eyes and tipped her head back just as she had seen Penelope do when they burst through the door.

"Clearly I am not doing my job properly if you can still finish your sentences, dearest."

This was always the part that scared her most. El darted a look at her friend and saw that there was some sort of understanding in her blue eyes, even a growing blush.

"You know, don't you?! What is it? You must tell me." El begged.

"Is that the rest of your dream?" Pen cleared her throat.

"Well…"

Eloise shivered as the sound of his honey sweet voice whispered inches from her ear. His words were a promise–for what exactly? She had no idea, but she wanted to find out. The next thing she knew, the faceless man nipped her ear causing her to gasp and spill the ink all over her letter, but she did not care, all that mattered was the urgent heat that settled in her core.

Eloise found herself moaning.

"Oh I meant to tell you about the most stunning flower that I saw on my journey this morning. The petals were a soft purple just like your ribbons, and the tips were a deep pink that reminds me of the way your cheeks flush just as they do now."

Her husband whispered into her skin as his hands trailed down to her abdomen where most of her heat sat–though not all. The rest was either in her cheeks, or in a much more intimate and reserved place that she could not even say.

"So this ache you feel is…" Pen ventured.

"The most horrid feeling, Pen. I cannot seem to push it away. It feels as though it is an itch that I cannot scratch, a fruit that I cannot reach." El groaned in frustration, wanting to cry, "The worst part is that I feel as though I can satisfy it if I just get to finish the rest of the dream. But they always end the same."

"How do they end?"

His thumbs started to caress her tummy through the dress and she sighed content.

"I wished to pick them for you but I would not dare insult you by telling you that such a pretty flower could match your majesty." He said in his deep voice.

His hands snaked higher and Eloise started to breath unevenly. The first stroke of her breast, she was a panting mess just feeling overpowered with lust. She wanted whatever he was willing to give her-she wanted it all. Eloise was frustrated by the slow pace and wanted him to squeeze harder and when he did-

"Ohh Phillip." Eloise moaned.

"Phillip? Who is Phillip?" Penelope was most intrigued.

Eloise blushed violently.

"I have been…corresponding with…a gentleman"

"El, please tell me you have met this man." Pen started to grow concerned at her friends' wording.

Eloise bit her lip worriedly.

"I have not. But you have." Penelope frowned.

What could her friend be talking about? Who did Penelope know that Eloise did not. Eloise had been introduced to many more gentlemen due to the determination of Violet Bridgerton–though her determination was clearly not as great as that of Eloise who was as stubborn as a mule.

"The only Phillip I know is Phillip Crane and he is…" Penelope cut herself off when she saw the nervous smile on El's face.

Penelope's mouth hung open and she felt as though she was in a crazy dream. There was no possible way that El was blushing right now, and there was no way that Eloise was having such dreams about Sir Phillip Crane–the same Phillip Crane who was a widow to Marina, Penelope's cousin! How was that even possible?!

Instead of shooting questions at her friend, left, right and centre, Penelope tried to remain unaffected–though inside she was squealing with the idea of such a perfect suit. El was clearly mortified by what was going on, but it was clearly her imagination and her heart shoving Phillip in her vision so that she could see that this man was her true desire.

Eloise always wanted to grow old and remain a spinster. The thought of being shackled to a man for life could have been a fate worse than death to her and yet ever dream where Phillip kissed her, told her of his flowers and botany, she could not help but want that life to be real. She wanted that with him–No! No she didn't!

She would remain a spinster forever! These dreams only proved it.

"How long have you and Phillip been exchanging letters?" Pen asked.

"Well…I decided to send him my condolences for the death of his wife. From then on we continued to send back letters and exchange details of our day and then he began sending me pressed flowers–each one more beautiful than the last, and he always sends me a page full of information about the flowers he sends." El said, excitedly.

A passion for flowers was the very reason why Pen thought those two would get along–though she never anticipated how well they would get along, or how far their passions would proceed.

"On one occasion I…" El looked away and whispered, "I sent him some poems wrapped in my hair ribbon."

Pen gasped.

"Oh please do not tell Anthony! I could not bear the embarrassment."

"El, you have nothing to be ashamed of. How did he respond?"

"I do not know. I fled to Ireland with Anthony, hoping that we would find you and that my reckless behaviour was all some messed up dream–just like the ones I have been having." El fell back and sunk into the bed, throwing her arm over her eyes, trying to push away the possible scenarios.

The one that threatened to break her was the possibility of Phillip sending her back every letter she ever wrote to him, wrapped in her purple ribbon. The thought alone threatened to bring tears to her eyes. Penelope saw how sad and worried her friend was and tried not to bring up the fact that her family might possibly see the letters if they were delivered to Number Five.

"Why do these dreams upset you? You clearly enjoy his letters–"

"That is the point, Pen! I do not want to!" She whisper shouted, remembering how early in the morning it was, "I hate the fact that each letter had the most devine scent that I want to picture him smelling just like it, I hate the fact that my stomach does a flip every time I see a letter has arrived for me with his name on it–I hate the fact that I want to meet him and make those dreams come true!"

Penelope was wide eyed by her friend's honesty and wrapped El in a big hug when she started to cry. Passion had many ways of expressing itself. One could be so in the throes of passion that they weep with want, or shout with joy, or even go numb just marinating in passion. This one such time was when Eloise was so frustrated with her heart for wanting him.

"It is okay, El. It is all going to be okay–"

"No it won't." She sobbed, "What if he doesn't write to me again? What will I do? Why does it feel like my heart will stop if I never get another letter from him ever again?"

What if's were such a cruel thought. Pen knew that El would be devastated and her friends' pain hurt her too. No matter what happened, Penelope vowed she would be there for her friend and that all would work out.

"I promise you, El, that all will turn out. Phillip is probably fretting in his wake that you have not replied to a single letter he has written in months. Let us go to the post today and you may write to him to tell him where you are." El bolted up and looked at her friend in horror. "He is probably worried sick."

"Anthony would kill me if he knew I was writing to a man." El rolled her eyes.

"Some things are better left untold. Anthony need not know." Pen shrugged.

"Oh you are the best sister ever!"

Penelope laughed as her friend squeezed her tight.

The two women chatted until early morning. When the sun rose El took that as her cue to run off and start writing her letter to Phillip. Pen giggled and when she sunk back into her mattress, she was in awe and positively giddy that her friend had fallen head first into the most dangerous and exciting game of all.

Love.

Pen lay in bed, so close to dozing off, but just a few minutes before she could fall sleep another knock came at her door. Again she wished to leave it but decided that it may be Eloise asking another question and so she got out of bed, ignoring her shawl she walked over and opened the door.

In all his handsome and mighty glory, stood Anthony Bridgerton with the most dashing smile on his charming face. Opening her mouth to speak, Pen went to say something but before she could Anthony snaked a hand around her waist and tugged her closer until she was practically in the hallway with him, pressed flush against him.

"Good morning, my darling." Anthony said in a deep and rich voice causing Pen to shiver.

"Good morning, Antho–hmm" Anthony cut her off by pressing her against the wall behind her and kissing her deeply and thoroughly.

This kiss lasted nowhere near as long as she would have liked but she was still granted the joy of being wrapped in his firm arms. Pen sighed into his embrace and smiled up at him.

"What a perfect way to start the morning." Pen said standing on her tippy-toes to place another quick kiss on his lips. Pen observed his appearance and noticed that he was dressed in his day clothes also but looked exceedingly tired. "I would offer you to sleep in here but I fear that Missy will have your hide"

Anthony rumbled a laugh.

"My hide is only yours." He winked and Pen blushed prettily.

A minute, then two, then five passed and Anthony had his eyes closed, enjoying Pen running his hair through her fingers. They both just held one another in silence, enjoying being in one another's embrace. This was what made her happy.

"Anthony?" Pen whispered, looking up at him.

"Yes, my love?" His brown eyes were open again, looking down at her with content eyes.

"When can we go home?" She whispered.

Notes:

Until next time ;)

Chapter 23: Home again

Summary:

Penelope finally goes home and she gets to see all who she left behind.

A rather emotional reunion from all out favourite.

Notes:

HOME! SHE IS FINALLY HOME!

Wow. That was a lil emotional to right-the again is is 12:30AM and I am tired as shit but I wanted to get this chapter out for you guys cause I love you all and you are all worth it ;)

Thank you for all you guys do and for all you specky comments!

This story is coming to a close but a sequel (Philoise) is in the making! Let me know if you'd be keen for that ;))

As always - hope you enjoy a lil fluff and happy tears!

CW (content warning; vomit and seasickness.)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Three weeks later

It was the day. Today was the day. It was the day that Penelope had dreamed about, dreaded and anticipated for the whole six months she had been away. Today she was to step foot on London soil again and see the faces of all the people she had left behind.

When Penelope had asked Anthony when they could go back home Anthony could scarcely believe it. He wanted so badly to ask her fully–heck that is what he intended to do the morning she asked him–but he did not want to pressure her. Anthony had kissed her thoroughly after that and told her that he would buy tickets for the ship post haste, but Pen was not in too much of a hurry to be out of his arms.

And Missy. Penelope refused to leave without Missy. When she asked Missy if she would continue her work as Pen's maid in London, holding back tears assuming that her friend would say no. Missy threw the rag she was holding in the air and laughed with joy and hugged Pen and reassured her that she would travel the ends of the world with her should she wish it. Missy had been a godsent on the journey.

Penelope was as sick as a dog and was not coping well.

Penelope felt ill at the thought of travelling on that damn metal floating device but as long as it returned her in one piece then she would be satisfied. Though the moment she stepped foot on said floating device her insides begged to come out. Anthony was by her side each morning and night to help her, or hold her hair back, or even read to her to help her sleep. Missy was there and they would swap their duties to tend to her.

Eloise was not good with vomit and Pen assured her that she would not have to go anywhere near her on the trip. Though on three occasions, Eloise ventured to help Missy and Anthony when Pen got particularly bad. But other than that she just couldn't stomach the sight, which Penelope understood fully. Anthony felt for his wife and tried to make the trip as manageable as possible. It was such a relief to have someone with her this time.

But the day the ship reached port, Penelope once again cried tears of joy and it took Anthony and Missy to hold her up properly once they reached the top. Sea air hit Penelope in the face and there was sweet relief. Though she had to close her eyes to keep from seeing that they were still bobbing on the ocean. A few deep breaths through her nose and she was mentally prepared for the next hour of bustling people trying to get off this damned ship.

"Are you alright, my love?" Anthony asked, still very aware of how pale her cheeks were and how very frail she felt in his arms.

Pen looked up at him and sent him a weak smile to reassure him.

"I will be once we are home."

Even though he was concerned for his sick wife, his heart couldn't help but glow when she called their house home . Anthony placed a gentle kiss on her head.

"Pen, you are up." Eloise asked, happy for her friend.

"We are almost there. I cannot wait." She smiled as best she could.

The trip had been excellent for El–other than the fact that her friend had been hurling practically the whole two and a half weeks–but the sights and the people were such a fun and new experience for her that she could not help but savour it. Each night she would talk to someone new and hear new stories at dinner of people's travels. It was such a treat.

She was sad to now be going back to the reality of balls, suitors and impending doom–well people called it marriage but it was doom to her. Unless it was to Phillip that is. Eloise was petrified of going home and seeing whether or not Sir Phillip had written her back or if he was scared off by her rather forward behaviour.

The day she sent that letter was the day that she wished she was not so adventurous. If she was not such a rebel then perhaps she never would have thought that sending him poetry wrapped in her favourite purple ribbon would have been a good idea. If mother ever found out…

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the captain lowering the railing for everyone to get off. Penelope was instantly fluttered with nerves but she was too exhausted to care. Eloise on the other hand was wringing her hands, mixed between excitement to tell her family all about her adventure and hoping to come home to a mountain of letters from Phillip.

"Let us be off."

"This be London?" Missy said in her Irish lilt. "De nea be as green as back home."

Pen found it in her to laugh. Anthony joined in but El was too busy searching the dock.

When they finally made it through the crush of people and packed all of their luggage into two of the carriages that were sent for their arrival, they all headed for home. Missy insisted on going with the luggage so that it was all delivered safely. Penelope still felt like the world was swaying but she lay her head on Anthony's shoulder and kept her eyes closed, fiddling with the ring that was yet to be removed from her finger–hell she never wanted to take it off again. Taking it off the first time was hard enough.

An hour passed and the carriage was quiet. Pen dozed off and awoke later to Anthony gently shaking her.

"We are here." He said, smiling at her.

Penelope felt her insides roll. This was real. They were parked outside of Number Five–her new home. This was the moment she would see all who she left behind in ruin–Violet, Fran, Ben, even her mother–all whom she loved. How was she to face them knowing all that she had done?

Eloise had reassured her that Portia had been the one to tell the lie. Portia had told the ton that Pen had gone to tend to Marina's grieving parents who were in Italy. The lie came so easily that the whole ton believed it. When they asked why Anthony had not gone too, she had said that he was to join her soon, he was just making sure that his family would be stable before he left.

That one lie had ensured that no scandal would strike when Pen returned. That was one of the only times her mothers lies actually came as a providence. Now that she was going to have to see her again, Pen was afraid.

Anthony got out of the carriage first and helped Eloise out. Pen stayed in the carriage, thinking it would be best to allow her husband and best friend a sweet reunion with their family first. Looking up she saw the house in all its glory and was soon regretting eating that bread moments ago. Her stomach rolled.

The sound of the doors opening made her jump and soon Penelope saw the smiling face of Violet Bridgerton. Violet seemed just as beautiful as the day Pen left, and the familiar scent of lavender filled her nostrils when she drew closer. The older woman zeroed in on her children and embraced them.

"You are home!" Violet said, squeezing her son tightly before moving to El who had moved to her brother's side, so very happy to see her mother again. "Oh my darling!"

"Mama!" El held her mother close, not realising how much she had missed her.

"I want to hear all about your adventure, my dear."

A moment later the whole family spilled free of the double doors; Benedict, Colin, Hyacinth, Greg, Fran and even Simon and Daphne–who was rather round in the tummy, which Pen suspected was a new announcement. Each of the family members embraced each of them–though Colin still seemed to be colder towards Anthony. Eloise started ranting, looking up at her mother who had her arm wrapped around her daughter, listening attentively.

"Brother, it is good to see you." Benedict said, smiling brightly at Anthony. "Did you bring anything for me from your travels?"

Anthony embraced Ben tightly and patted him on the back heartily. Penelope expected harshness between the two–especially since the news of Pen leaving vexed Anthony greatly and Benedict was a huge part of why such a feat was possible. Though it made her happy that they were on good terms.

Colin and Ant on the other hand…

"Yes, I have brought you all a gift." Anthony announced stepping towards the carriage, "It is for all of you and I expect you to share."

"We all know that Hyacinth is terrible at sharing." Greg muttered and was rewarded with a smack up the head by the woman in question. It was true though. Hy was not very good at sharing her dolls or her sweets.

Ben snickered and Fran just rolled her eyes. Those two and their antiques.

"What is it, brother?" Daphne asked, curiously.

"I should hate to ruin the surprise." He jested and then opened the carriage door, holding out his hand as if to take.

Penelope took a deep breath and took her husband's extended hand, using it to guide her out the carriage and onto the paved street, finally stepping foot on the cobblestone street that was to be her home. The same cobblestone street she walked to every Tuesday and Friday to go shopping with Eloise and the same cobblestone street that she had lived on for the first eighteen years of her life.

Now that she placed her fine green slippers on the street she shakily looked up at the ten sets of eyes and smiled nervously. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

"Lady Bridgerton." Penelope dipped in a bow, trying to hide her tears, but before she could even make it all the way up, Violet gripped her into a crushing embrace, sobbing with joy.

"Oh my darling girl! Oh my Penelope." Violet cried, holding her tight. Pen felt heat erupt from her eyes and tears spill down her cheeks. "You came home."

"I did." Pen sniffed.

"Pen is home!" Hy squealed excitedly and rushed to join her mother hugging Pen, which followed with Fran and Daphne and Eloise also. "This is the best present ever!"

They all laughed through happy tears.

Violet pulled back and cupped Pen's cheeks. "I could not have asked for a better gift. Oh my darling you have been missed so much."

"I have missed you all too. So much." Pen looked around to Ben and laughed at the sight of him.

Ignoring propriety she gave him a big hug which he returned with ferver.

"I hear congratulations are in order, Mr painter." Pen said, pulling back and holding his hands in hers. Propriety be damned. His laughter filled her ears and she was so happy to hear it.

"Ah, so my talent has reached Ireland? I knew it would happen." Ben smirked.

"Self obsessed git." Colin laughed tearfully. "Hello Pen."

"Hi Colin." Doing the same, she embraced her friend. If this was to have happened only a year ago Pen would have felt as though she had died and gone to heaven, but now all she felt was joy at seeing her friend–the only love that remained was that of sisterly affection.

Though she did not hold him long, not wanting to give Anthony or Colin the wrong impression.

"You have been missed." Colin said, looking at her with new eyes.

His heart still throbbed with want, but he knew that Penelope was not his and was most certainly not available for the pickings. She seemed to glow in her green dress. The Irish must have rubbed off on her, he thought with a smile.

Next she hugged Greg and even the duke for a moment, knowing that hugging him was well beyond the breach of propriety. He was a married man after all–not that she found him attractive in that way. Pen looked at all of them with such joy and misty eyes.

"I have missed you all so much and I intend to hear from each of you." She said smiling, holding Anthony's hand.

"Of course, but perhaps we shall get some food for you. You must be starving." Violet said, looking down at El with a bright smile.

"I cannot keep anything down anyway." Pen said.

They all blinked at her and then looked at Anthony with wide eyes. Pen did not understand but Anhtony blushed slightly at the insinuation.

"Heaven's sake she is not pregnant."

"What?!" Pen said, looking at him in horror, "Of course I am not pregnant!"

"Penelope is still seasick–" Anthony tried to explain.

"My Penelope!" They all turned to see a woman in orange rushing towards them.

It was not until the woman drew closer that Penelope recognized her to be non other than Portia Featherington. Pen felt the blood drain from her face, but before she could even say anything Portia wrapped her arms around her daughter and squeezed her tight.

"Oh my Penelope! You are really here." Portia cried, holding her daughter's head to her shoulder.

Once she regained her senses she realised that her mother was hugging her. Never had her mother shown such visible affection for her in her whole life. Penelope slid her arms around her mother and held her too.

"Please never do that again. Oh Penelope. Oh my baby girl." Portia held her even tighter than Violet.

"I am home, Mama. I am sorry for not saying anything. I am a horrible daughter–"

"Never–do you hear me–never say such a thing ever again." Portia looked her youngest daughter dead in the eyes and cradled her face, "You are my most precious daughter and I will not stand anyone talking bad about my Penelope. I love my Penelope and I have missed her."

Those words. Mama had finally said those words she longed to hear for her whole life!

"I love you too mama." Pen croaked and held her close.

After some more tears and hugs they all congregated inside and into the drawing room where tea was served and Pen drank that gratefully, the hot liquid seemed to sweep away the seasickness. Anthony was by her side the whole time, though everyone wished to sit by her side. Until late afternoon the room was filled with stories from all of the family–Pen learned that Prudence was engaged to be married to Robert Huxley who was a decent sort of fellow. She also learned about Colin travelling to the America's–though he failed to mention the fact that he had gone in search of Pen.

Eloise shared her favourite places, Hy showed off her new piano skills while Greg blocked his ears, Daphne and Simon shared news of the baby and when they were expecting the arrival, Ben told tales of his art and Fran shared about how she was looking forward to her first season. Violet and Portia were just so happy to have their children together in one room and both took notice to the fact that Anthony had taken hold of Pen's left hand and kept it firmly in his.

The day dragged on and laughter, tears and happiness filled the room. This was the best reunion Pen could have asked for–and when Missy showed up, they all bombarded her with questions of Ireland, just wanting to hear her speak for hours, all fascinated by her accent.

Missy shared the tale of how she first met Pen and how she agreed to be her maid for barely nothing. Leaving out the part about Lady Whistledown.

By the time the sunset, Pen was drifting off, exhausted and sleep deprived.

"You must be tired. Let us get you to bed, dearest." Violet said smiling.

Portia took that as her queue to leave and bid her daughter goodnight, telling her that she would return tomorrow. The rest of the family turned in for the night, giving Pen another hug for good measure. Daphne and the Duke returned home, Benedict retired to paint–he said that the late nights are when he finds his muse, and Colin said that he would join him.

Violet gave Pen another hug and bid her goodnight, sending her younger children off to bed too–even though Eloise was barely tired . She hugged her children and wished them all goodnight.

When El got to her room, tired and positively exhausted, she opened the door to find Benedict was by her writing desk holding up a stack of unopened letters addressed to her with the most evil smirk on his face.

"Who, dear sister, is Phillip?" Ben asked, looking at the latest letter. El gulped.

Anthony carried Penelope to her room, seeing as she was too tired to stand, let alone walk. Missy helped her undress quickly while Anthony waited outside. When he returned Penelope was too tired to keep her eyes open fully. Smiling he walked to her side of the bed and leaned over to give her a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I love you, my darling. Sleep well."

Right as he was about to walk away and go to another room, Pen grabbed his hand and drew him closer, eyes still hooded with sleepiness.

"Stay with me." She whispered.

"As you wish, dearest."

Anthony quickly got changed into some night clothes–though he did not wear a shirt seeing as he did not sleep with one anyway. When he returned he gently entered the bed and spooned Penelope from behind. Cuddling her to himself, savouring the feeling. He had waited so long to do this.

Soon the sound of Pen's soft and steady breathing could be heard and she knew that he was asleep. Anthony smiled and placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck after moving the mountains of red curls.

"I love you."

Notes:

Until next time lovelies ;)

Chapter 24: The Time for a Ball ()

Summary:

Whistledown shares some gossip.

We meet a possible important character, and Benedict is horny.

Philip is a babe!

Colin has a friend!

Anthony knows how to talk dirty.

Notes:

AHHHHHHH

So...thank you to everyone who is amazing and has read with me this far! It has been a ride and I hope you are up for some more chapters of some smut and fluff because next chapter is hot as FU...DGE!

This chapter was a lot of fun and could have played out many way. Couple of things;

- I have no idea Benedict's middle name so I made it up

- love Sophie but made her a little different from the books but...this whole paring isn't by the books anyway (haha)

- Eloise and Phillip meeting is super different

- I wanted to make Anthony really respectful of Pen's boundaries when he came back, just so that she-a virgin-didn't feel like she was being forced. I just thought it was more romantic to have him that way--sorry if you're not a huge fan ;)

Now this chapter has some SMUT talk so brace yourselves. And for those who don't do SMUT...(the next chapter probably won't be for you.) If you can tell I have all the spicy talk/spicy chapters with a - - emoji in the front so you have a warning but next chapter is pure smut so...

I love you all and can't wait to hear your thoughts!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dearest Reader,

It is with surprised joy we welcome the woman once known as the Ton's Wallflower–though since in her marriage to the Viscount Bridgerton–also known as the former Rake–we have seen that flower bloom quite splendidly. We welcome home Viscountess Penelope Bridgerton from her long journey abroad from Italy.

To celebrate the homecoming of Penelope Bridgerton, the Viscount himself is hosting a ball in commemoration of his wife's return. If this author has anything to say about such matters it would be that this ball is sure to be the most grand celebration the ton has ever seen–it is on good authority that Lord Bridgerton himself wishes to light up the sky in honour of his bride.

Most would think it rather scandalous to host a ball before the next season has even started but then again it seems as though this unlikely match basks in the glow of scandal–their whole match was confirmed as founded on said scandal and look at them now. Perhaps if Lord Bridgerton can take his eyes off his wife long enough we may all have some respite from our numbing toothaches due to the sweetness they portray. The ton can only hope to find a fraction of love those two share. Perhaps Francesca Bridgerton will be just as lucky as her past siblings in finding a love match, as her coming out is only one short month away.

Who shall fall prey to the trap of another beautiful Bridgerton. My best wishes to the gentlemen who will try. Let us hope you can make it past the Bridgerton brothers unscathed.

Yours,

Lady Whistledown

"Ugh, who needs a reminder that the season begins so soon?" Eloise groaned and threw her head back as a sign of frustration and threw the Whistledown article in the open fire oven. "It is painful enough that I must attend a ball before the season begins, let alone be reminded that my freedom ends in a few short months."

The maid who was fixing her hair for the ball was holding back a groan herself, although she felt for Eloise, she was also trying to knead the bread in peace before she was hounded by another maid to hurry up. Patience was wearing thin for both El and the maid–in different ways.

Eloise was more than happy that Penelope had returned, and even more so that Anthony was celebrating her and showing her off to the ton as his most beloved wife, but…did it really have to be a ball–one that she had to attend?! If she didn't attend, Mother would surely kill her, but if she did attend she wished her mother did kill her so she wouldn't have to go.

What made matters worse was that Anthony had barely let go of Penelope the whole time they had been back–which was a grand total of two weeks. The ton was buzzing with the news and were all keen to hear about her adventures to Italy . Pen had done research on Italy and knew enough from what Colin had shared in his adventures, so the lies came rather easily and Anthony played along.

Cressida Cowper–Lady Twombley now–was one of the first people to intervene during one of the couple's promenades at the park. The couple had set up a tent and enjoyed some fresh lemonade and a picnic with the family when Penelope was feeling up to it. Cressida had snidely told of her joy at having Penelope return and happily told her news of being recently married.

"I feared I would never get to share my news with you, Penelope." Cressida feigned a look of sorrow. "I thought perhaps you had run away."

Penelope gripped her husband's hand tighter when she felt him tense in agitation.

"I am sorry to disappoint, Cressida, but I have a tendency to return, unlike your hairline." She said feigning that same sort of innocence. Anthony was halfway through a drink of lemonade to cool off when his wife laid down that certain remark and caused him to spit it up half on Cressida and half on the grass.

Cressida gasped at the hurtful comment and also having been sprayed with lemonade. Her husband who was beside her wore a look of amusement which was a change seeing as he was rather emotionless. Anthony held a hand over his mouth and his eyes were wide.

"Forgive me, Lady Twombley, I–" Anthony began to apologise, out of courtesy but was interrupted.

"How dare you!" Cressida shouted, eyes full of wrath towards Pen, "At least I had the decency to marry my husband under honest circumstances. I did not have to force him–"

"You are anything but decent, Cressida." Penelope said evenly, "And neither were your circumstances. But if you would like to keep them decent I suggest you continue your promenade and walk away so I may be allowed to continue my day–which was turning out to be so lovely."

Penelope took her husband's hand and started pulling him onto a different path so they left the sour couple, open mouthed and frozen in shock. Anthony soon pulled her into a hidden garden and pinned her against the tree.

"God, I love you."

When they finally returned to the family picnic after one heated make-out, Penelope was flushed and Anthony had a spring in his step. If it wasn't for Benedict subtly pointing to Penelope's hair, she would have been walking around with a stray leaf as a fancy decoration.

"Miss Bridgerton, I am sure things cannot be so very bad." The pretty maid said kindly. She spoke as someone who truly didn't have much freedom. She was a maid, a servant for rich folks who got to slap those who called them names, or punch men for touching them–not her. "Having freedom is–"

Before she could finish Hyacinth came into the kitchen with a scared look on her face.

"Who are you running from?"

"Ben." Hy said.

"Why?" El was confused.

"Because of what I saw in his art book." Hy rolled her eyes.

The maid flushed slightly.

Benedict's reputation was notorious around the staff and just about every maid wanted a piece of him. They also knew what kind of art Benedict specialised in. Ben had a thorough appreciation for the female form, and had an even better way to show said appreciation through the most extraordinary set of skills–or so the gossip said.

Sophie, Eloise's new maid, had never been honoured with such skills herself. She did not think he was into women with her…assets. Sophie was cursed with a rather large breast and a round rump, both of which she thought completely unattractive. Sophie was straining her ears to hear if poor, young Hyacinth had stumbled upon those said pieces of appreciation –for Hy's sake, she hoped not.

"What did you find?" El said bored.

"Some drawings of fruits, places–us! I was running from Ben as I looked through his work…but then I saw some women. The further I looked the less amount of clothes they wore until…"

"What?" El was getting interested.

"I closed it immediately and threw it back at Ben when I saw that he had drawn a woman with no clothes on! Not even a chamise!" Hy poked her tongue out in disgust. Eloise on the other hand was pale with horror. "Benedict promised me not to tell mama that I saw–"

"Flour–that is what I need!" Sophie squeaked, trying to calm her racing heart and not picture modelling for Benedict with hardly anything on, only to have him crawl over to her and gently manurer her to be exactly where he wanted her…then he would spread her legs wide open and lean down to blow gently on her soaking sex, never taking his eyes off of her before wetting his lips and licking her needy puss–

"Eloise Bridgeton, what are you doing here? There is a ball going on upstairs –"

"How could anyone be in doubt, Mother."

"Eloise." Violet wanted and El slumped her shoulders before pinning on a smile.

"Yes, mama." She said, putting on her lady face.

When they all left to prepare, Sophie let out the most relieved sigh and fanned her flaming cheeks.

Down in the grand hall stood Benedict and Colin laughing heartily about some joke that Simon shared. They straightened immediately when they saw their mother, which Violet appreciated knowing damn well that whatever had them giggling was clearly nothing that needed to sully her ears.

"Have you seen your brother?" Violet whispered to Colin and Ben, still smiling.

"Which one? Greg, Ant or Colin? Ah–I have found one already, Mother!" Benedict put Colin in a headlock which all but Mama found funny. Even Colin was quick to laugh and roll his fists once out of Ben's grasp and pretend to punch him.

Simon held his lips together knowing that his mother-in-law was not amused.

"Anthony." Violet said.

"Last I saw he was in his office." Ben shrugged.

"Go and tell him that he must come and greet the guests. Penelope is still getting ready and Anthony must be down here when she makes her reveal." Violet said to Benedict.

"Why me?" He pouted.

"Because I asked you to, Benedict Arthur Bridgerton." Violet glared.

"Oh, the full name, you are truly in trouble." Colin snickered.

Violet turned her glare to her other son.

"I would send your brother but I do not yet trust you in a room alone with Anthony when you nearly beat him to death–"

"Proudly, Mother." Colin remarked, taking a sip of his whiskey.

He would never regret that. Anthony vowed he would not hurt Penelope and he had done just that–who gives a damn about blood when he broke his vows. Colin would do it again in a heartbeat if it happened again, but this time, no one would be able to stop him.

Violet hated violence, and the thought of losing any more of her family added a few more grey hairs to her head. Her family was everything to her. Even the added family.

"Just go and get him." She said to Ben before heading off to check on the extra flower arrangements.

Benedict rolled his eyes and went to fetch his brother, leaving Simon and Colin to continue their topic of the America's and trading markets. By the time he reached Ant's office he thought he heard a female voice. Ben rolled his eyes and braved what could have been waiting for him on the other side.

"More, Anthony." Penelope giggled.

"I am." Anthony replied.

Benedict was already fully through the door when he saw that Anthony had hold of the strings on Pen's corset. His hand flew to his eyes in an almighty slap. Why was it always the worst time to see his brother–though Benedict couldn't really blame his brother.

"I did not see anything!" He said, trying not to laugh.

"For the love of god Ben, why can you not knock for once!" Anthony growled.

"He means to say that you can open your eyes. He is merely tightening my corset." Penelope laughed, "Missy has the week off to explore London, and so I attempted to do up my dress but I broke the string."

Benedict opened his eyes.

"I know how to fix it." He said, smiling and walking deeper into the room. Both sets of eyebrows rose in shock. "What? I am not allowed to sew?"

Pen was clearly in a giggly mood because again that pretty sound escaped her throat. It must have been contagious because Ben's smile widened–though Anthony was still glaring, rather annoyed that his brother could have interrupted a tender moment.

"I would rather you not have a full view of my wife's bare back." Anthony said sternly.

"Well she could take the whole dress off but then I would see the rest of her–"

"Benedict Arthur Bridgerton!"

"Twice within the space of twenty minutes, aren't I lucky." Ben winked at Pen, finding that teasing Anthony was his favourite game of the night. "Come now brother, nothing untoward shall happen. I have been meaning to ask Pen to stand as my next muse to paint anyway–ow!"

Anthony rewarded his brother with a firm punch in the shoulder. Penelope whacked her husband in the chest with the back of her hand, then turned to Benedict and smiled. Really she loved this dress and wanted to wear it so badly, and if that meant having Ben had a full view of her back, so be it.

"Please fix it, Ben." Pen said.

"At your service, m'lady." Ben got to work sewing the string back onto the line of the corset, all while Anthony watched closely to see that no funny business happened on his brother's account. He trusted Penelope completely, but Benedict was a shameless flirt.

It was not below him to flirt with Penelope only three feet away from him, if only to get under his skin.

"All done. And I must be the first to say you look ravishing, Pen." Ben winked and Penelope giggled while hiding a blush–she could not help it when every Bridgerton man was sexy and just jawdroppingly charming.

Steam nearly burst from Anthony's ears as the sight. God did he want to ravish her, but she still remained untouched–in that sense. He wanted to give Penelope space and time. Even though they had kissed many times and they had had their fun–with one fantastic orgasm–Anthony still refused to consummate unless he knew for certain that she was ready.

He did not want to pressure her and that was why he had not brought it up. Meanwhile, Penelope was so needy for that feeling again, and Anthony refused to touch her in that way. She was concerned that perhaps he did not want to have her fully, but she quieted that voice, knowing that Anthony loved her and wanted her too.

Then why doesn't he touch me?! Oh god I need him so badly.

"Not the first, but thank you anyway." Anthony said, a fake smile glued to his face.

"Thank you, Ben." Pen said, smiling kindly.

"Bridgerton blue suits you very well, sister." Ben looked down at her dress and then back into her eyes, though he took a nice look at the bust of her chest. Man Anthony was lucky. Benedict had a thing for bigger breasted women–heck he loved Pen's figure.

There was a new maid who had started recently who had the most delicious set of breasts Benedict had ever seen and was so tempted to seduce her but Anthony had given him a firm talking to about it–her being Eloise's new maid and all.

Anthony cockblocking him was no fun at all. Benedict had to settle with the whores he found at the brothels and clubs all while picturing sucking her stunning tits and having her ride him like a pony. God he was getting hard just thinking about her.

Perhaps I have time to jerk off–

"Oh we must get to the party. You owe me a dance, husband." Penelope said smiling.

Like lightning, his jealousy was gone. At the end of the day it was Anthony who held her and not Benedict, or Colin, or even Lord Twombley who also was an admirer of Pen's stunning form. It was a burden he was willing to bear to have the love of his life as his own.

The minute they entered the party, Penelope was practically crushed with questions and Anthony almost regretted inviting so many people. In fact he would much rather have sat in the library and listened to her read as his head lay in her lap, rolling her red locks between his fingertips. Now he had to share her with all these gossip hungry idiots. And his family–and her own.

Anthony was still stunned by the transformation of Portia Featherington. Never had he thought he would come to enjoy having her around his wife and even in the presence of just himself. The loss of her daughter must have been one hell of a wakeup call. It was a shame that her other two daughters still remained in need of a fix.

"Welcome home, Lady Bridgerton." The voice of Lady Danbury flitted through Pen's ears.

"Lady Danbury, how splendid to see you."

"I want to hear all about your travels. I would remark on your bravery, but I believe I already knew about that attribute–my only regret is not confirming my suspicions about just how insane you are."

Penelope frowned then her eyes widened. Eloise's voice floated into her memory;

"Who are these troops, El?"

"Edwina is one of them along with Fran of course–"

"You have to be kidding me." Anthony slumped further in his chair with defeat.

"Oh and Lady Danbury–"

"I am in your debt, Lady Danbury, it seems as though you are one of the reasons I am not cast out for treason against the crown." Penelope decided to just have it out. They both knew, there was no reason to beast around the bush.

A sneaky smile passed the older woman's features.

"I have no idea what you are referring to, Lady Bridgerton." Agatha winked before gesturing over Pen's shoulder. Pen turned to see Anthony looking rather bored with the gentleman. "He may need a saviour."

Pen giggled and bowed to Lady Danbury before excusing herself. Lady Danbury smiled happily. Times like this–seeing a couple in love, made her miss her husband so very much, but it also made her happy–though no one could ever have as strong a love as her and her husband–love was strong and it was worth sharing.

Penelope was on her way to Anthony when she was stopped by the sight of a tall and handsome man who entered the ballroom. A huge smile spread across her features but before she could say anything the voice of Colin overpowered her.

"Phillip!" He laughed jovially and hugged the man as if they were old friends.

Penelope was so stunned.

"Mr Bridgerton, how good to see you." He said happily.

"And you. How goes the botany?"

"An ever growing occupation." Both men laughed at the joke. And that was when Penelope joined them, eager to see Phillip again after so long.

Penelope considered him and friend, and she was so very glad that he had accepted her invitation. It was just as much for her as it was her friend. Penelope had not told Eloise that she had invited the botanist because she was afraid that Eloise would run away given the opportunity to meet the man of her dreams–literally.

Nothing could stop her now that they were in the same room together.

"Sir Phillip."

"Lady Bridgerton." Phillip bowed and smiled brightly.

"How are you? How are Ollie and little Manda?"

"Growing like weeds." Colin scoffed jokingly at the pun and Penelope just thought of how Eloise would love it. "They are eager for another story, I am sure."

"I have plenty more which I would be happy to give to you, as long as that is–"

"That would be perfect." Phillip smiled.

"I must introduce you to my husband, Phillip." Penelope said looking at Anthony who was now talking to Violet and a grumpy Eloise, both–so it seemed–getting after her for not accepting the dance of another gentleman.

Penelope turned back to Phillip to see if he was willing and saw the look of awe on his chiselled face. She looked back to see the direction of his eyes and saw that Phillip was looking, moonstruck, at Eloise in her purple gown, arms crossed in a huff.

Oh this is perfect!

"Phillip?" Colin questioned, clearly oblivious as to what his friend was staring at.

Philip cleared his throat and looked back at them embarrassed. Pen smiled and convinced the boys to follow her as they walked to where Ant was. By the time they arrived Eloise was pissed and Violet was on the brink of giving up.

"Anthony." Pen called, "I want to introduce you to someone."

Anthony smiled at Penelope and then at their guest, wary almost.

"This is Sir Phillip Crane."

"A pleasure." Anthony said, "This is my mother and sister, Lady Violet Bridgerton and Eloise Bridgerton."

Phillip's jaw dropped.

Checkmate.

Eloise and Phillip's eyes locked and the world around them melted. There was no way that the woman in purple before him was Eloise Bridgerton–the same Eloise whom he was halfway on the road to proposing to. And there was no way that the man standing before her was the man she dreamed about every night, the man whom she wished to kiss, the man whom she had longed to have trace the lengths of her neck with his lips–

"Dance?" Phillip croaked.

"Pardon?" Anthony asked, baffled. Penelope tried to bite back a laugh, knowing that Anthony just assumed that Phillip asked him to dance. It was a rather comical picture.

"Ehem, Miss Eloise, would you do me the honour?"

"Yes." She did not even hesitate.

"What?" Anthony and Colin chorused.

Violet was holding back tears–of both exhaustion and understanding. Eloise–the child who was determined to never marry–was heart-eyed for a man she just met…or so the family thought. Penelope turned to her husband and grabbed his hand.

"What of you, Anthony? A dance?" Penelope grinned.

Once Anthony shook his head past the shock of the fact that his sister just agreed to dance with a stranger, he nodded and left his mother and brother by the wall so they could join the dance. When Anthony placed his hands on her, she regretted asking him, feeling her touch deprived skin burn with want.

How was she to tell him of her need for him to touch her?

"You have no idea how much I love you." Anthony said when the dance brought them back together.

"I love you too, Anthony." Penelope whispered. "And I love your kisses."

"Oh is that all?" His jesting tone was one of her favourites.

"Well there's your money–"

Anthony laughed heartily. He loved the way that conversation and joking came so easily now–now that he admitted he loved her and that he stopped being a dickhead every time he opened his mouth.

"Yes, that is important. What of my charm and my dashing looks?"

"Of course. Though your eyes have to be one of my favourites. Those stunning brown eyes tell so many pure but also dirty secrets."

Oh she was testing the waters for sure.

"Perhaps I should try to hide my desire better? Or would it be better to act on them?" Pen felt her heart race, "Can you see them now? All those dirty desires? Those naughty fantasies?"

Penelope was breathless.

"No? Shall I describe those fantasies to you?"

She was defenceless to say no.

"This fantasy begins with you in my office, me sitting on my desk chair when you come and place your perfect behind right on my thighs like a good girl–straddling me. Then I slowly run my fingers up your calf, higher to reach your knee before I tease you with my fingers by your inner thigh."

May this dance end soon.

"I pepper your neck with little kisses until you whimper with need."

Penelope did just that. A victorious smile flitted across his face.

"Perhaps I should dip my fingers in your tight pussy and pump slowly, teasing you as your perfect mouth hangs open with wordless passion. Then I use my thumb to swirl around your little pearl until I have you bucking into my hand, panting, biding me to go faster."

"Anthony." Penelope breathed, flushed.

The dance ended and Anthony weaved them through the crowd and took her into a quiet room before pressing her hard against the door, both of them unaware of where they were, only that they were burning with the need for each other.

"Wh-what about the p-party?" Pen squeaked, but Anthony ignored her.

"Once I had you riding my hand I would use my other to massage those perfect breasts. Your head would be thrown back as you moaned my name. I would take that opportunity to devour your soft throat and mark it as my own." Anthony growled, eyes blown wide just like hers were, "With one more whimper of my name I would speed up until you were begging me to slow down, though I know that you don't want me to–else you would use the safeword."

Anthony had told her of the meaning of a safeword, the night he explained what full consummation meant–Penelope was horrified by the notion. In all her time in Ireland she was unaware of what the maids meant by how ' big' he was or ' hard I made him'. Penelope did not know what it was that they were referring to. They had decided on a safeword; mercy. Though Anthony had told her about intercoarse, they were yet to fully have sex.

Penelope was so badly soaking through her pantaloons. A familiar nasty heat made its way to her womanhood and she needed it to be extinguished. Anthony was the only one who could put out the fire.

"Instead of slowing down like you ask, I speed up and your gorgeous tits are bouncing as you try to keep up with my sinful hand. It is not until I pull your bodice down and suck on your peddled nipple that you allow yourself the relief you crave."

"Anthony." Penelope whimpered, rubbing her thighs together, begging for friction.

"But you have another orgasm in you, don't you?" Anthony pressed into her, and she hissed in relief but also lust, "Yes you do. My good girl wants to peak as I set that same punishing pace with my cock."

Penelope choked on her desire.

"Is that what you want, my love?" Anthony became tender and loving, stroking her cheek with his hand, "Would you allow me just that? To make love to you this night?"

God why was she frozen. That was exactly what she wanted–to be with him fully as a man and wife should! Speak!

"I will not pressure you, my darling. If you need–"

"God Anthony," Penelope snaked her hands around his neck and nipped his ear before whispering, "Pound me with your cock."

Notes:

Until next time lovlies! ;)

Chapter 25: "Welcome to marital bliss."

Summary:

Anthony and Penelope finally consummate their marriage.

Notes:

FINALLY!!!!! It happened!

For those who do not do smut then I suggest not reading this chapter...at all.

Thank you to all you amazing people who have weathered all the crazy storms of this story thus far! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and that it is smutty enough for you all! Plenty more to come...(pun intended)

I hope you enjoy, my lovelies!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Is that what you want, my love?" Anthony became tender and loving, stroking her cheek with his hand, "Would you allow me just that? To make love to you this night?"

God why was she frozen. That was exactly what she wanted–to be with him fully as a man and wife should! Speak!

"I will not pressure you, my darling. If you need–"

"God Anthony," Penelope snaked her hands around his neck and nipped his ear before whispering, "Pound me with your cock."

All of the blood in Anthony's head fled to his cock. Those dirty words coming from her lips were going to be the death of him. Anthony left no time before he took her by the hand and led her out the door. Pen gasped.

Anthony half dragged her down halls, up stairs, through doors until they reached the familiar hallway that led to their chambers. Anthony refused to take Penelope anywhere but the bed for her first time. She was still a virgin–but more than that she was a lady who deserved to be in comfort while her body was worshipped for its astounding glory. He was going to take his time and he was going to show her exactly how much he loved her with his lips, his hands, his words, and his body.

As soon as they pushed through their room, Anthony pressed his wife against the door and kissed her hungrily. He had every intention of hearing her scream tonight, but for now, let that fire grow. It is only when the fire is scolding hot does someone scream when they touch it–the flame would grow and Penelope was only just roasting.

Heat radiated off of both their bodies and Anthony thought it was time to share his next fantasy.

"Tell me Penelope, do you ride?"

"Y-yes. B-but what does that–ugh–"

Anthony lavished her neck with kisses.

"Another fantasy I have is of you, straddling my chest as I lay on my back in bed, bare as the day I was born." Anthony trailed his finger to the valley of her breasts, "You place your hands on the headboard behind me as you lower your perfect pussy on my face and you ride me to chase your peak–"

Penelope gasped at the obscene picture. But god did it turn her on.

"My tongue spelling out I love you in every language I know. You would scream so loud as I sucked your pearl and grind harder on my face, my moans vibrate through you until you taste the relief when an orgasm crashes over you."

Oh how wicked. How terribly, terribly, tremendously wicked.

"Do you like that, my darling? The idea of riding me?" Anthony whispered in her ear.

It was not until Penelope could hear over her heavy breathing that she realised she was grinding into his front just from the words alone. Penelope whimpered. She was feeling so hot.

"Please."

"Please, what, my love? How can I ease the ache?"

"You, I want you." She whimpered.

"No, no, my love. Be specific. Tell me precisely what you want."

Anthony knew exactly what she craved but he would not give it to her unless she spelled it out for him. He wanted his wife to explain, in detail, all that she wanted him to do. In no way was he being cruel or hurtful–in fact he was trying to get Penelope comfortable with telling him exactly what she wanted from him.

A noticeable throb set in and Penelope was trying to find relief through grinding against her husband–which only seemed to make it worse. She knew what Anthony wanted her to do–heck she had no idea where that courage had come from or where it had gone when she told him to pound her with his manhood. It was true, that is exactly what she wanted, but she did not want to repeat such naughty words.

"I…I want…"

"Tell me, my love." Anthony whispered into her skin.

Penelope thought hard. What did she want? She could tell that Anthony wanted to hear this and so she decided that she would explain just how he had–perhaps that would make it easier to say all her wicked desires to him.

"I want you to run your hands down my body and slowly trace the inside of my thigh before you get down on your knees and lift my dress up–all while letting me look right in your perfect eyes." Penelope breathed.

"Then what?"

"Then I want you to take one foot in your hand and take the ribbon garter off my thigh…with your teeth." Penelope whispered the last, her cheeks burning.

Anthony moaned into her neck, his cock painfully hard at the image.

"When you are done with my garter and stockings you then use your tongue t-to…lick my…my…"

"Yes?"

"Anthony, I don't want to say it." She whispered, eyes closed in embarrassment.

"I know, my love, but I know you can. Be brave and tell me what you want me to lick with my wicked, needy, waiting tongue." Anthony whispered in her ear before sucking the lobe of her ear into his mouth.

The heat from his mouth caused a shiver to run up her spine. It was such a delicious feeling and one she hoped never went away. Her husband's presence was intoxicating and he made her feel things she never dreamed were possible.

Penelope bit her lip, deciding whether or not she was going to finish.

"Your perfect and waiting tongue would lick my throbbing, aching p-pussy." Pen whined.

She did not hear him speak of his pride at her for telling him what she wanted, she felt it in the way he smiled into her pulsepoint, or the way his hands tightened on her waist or even the way he breathed in her scent. Anthony could not stop finding new things to love about this woman.

Anthony knew that was hard for her to say and softened his resolve slightly. He cupped her cheeks gently and tenderly ran his thumb over her jawbone. How could something be so smooth?

"I love you, my darling." Anthony whispered between kisses on her porcelain cheeks.

Heat pricked Penelope's eyes and she felt like crying. Penelope sniffed and Anthony froze instantly. He pulled back and saw the tears in her eyes. Panic filled him. Regret swamped him and he felt horrible–thinking perhaps he was going too fast or Penelope no longer wanted this.

"Pen, what is wrong? Have I done something–"

"No," Pen chuckled a wet laugh, "No, I just feel more loved now than I ever have in my whole life. You remind me everyday you love me–without expecting anything in return. You have not rushed me to consummate our marriage, and you have not pressured me into bearing your heir."

Penelope cupped his face and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"If there is anything at all I want you to remember, it is that I love you." Anthony whispered, eyes closed, "With every breath I take, with every second I am granted on this earth, I will use to sing of my love for you. No one can compare to the woman in my arms."

No one had ever made her feel like she was enough. Eloise was Penelope's best friend in the whole world and yet she still felt like she needed to be better to live up to the Bridgerton standard. With Colin she felt like she would jump through hoops for him and he would never see her…what she didn't know was that it took not having her for Colin to realise that Penelope was who he wanted.

Although Portia was different now, Penelope felt like she was never a good enough daughter, looks wise, education wise and she was constantly critiqued for not being marriage material. Her sisters were just cruel and Penelope was not.

When their engagement started Penelope thought that she would never fit in with Anthony's standards. Penelope was not thin enough, pretty enough or brave enough to be held in any regard by Anthony–or so she thought. Now look at her; Anthony was preaching her praise to anyone who would listen and he would not stop shouting of his love to her, in thought, word and deed.

He was constantly reassuring her that she was enough–more than enough. Anthony told her time and time again that she was perfect and she could not believe him, but just because she did not think she was perfect…did not mean that Penelope could not feel like she did not need to give any more. Pen did not feel as though she owed him anything–thanks to his constant reassurance.

Penelope hoped that he felt the way she did; worthy of love, enough in every sense and adored to the highest highs and the lowest depths. No corner of this earth had any doubt that these two were in love.

"I love you, Anthony." Kiss. "Edmund." Kiss. "Bridgerton." Kiss.

"Not as much as I love you."

"Not even possible." Penelope beamed.

"Is that a challenge, Penelope Bridgerton?" That sexy smirk was on his face again.

And just like that the sensually charged flame was once again burning.

"Do you accept, Anthony Bridgerton?" Penelope carded her hands through his chestnut locks, with a serious look on her face, trying desperately to hide that smile begging to peak through. "Or are the Bridgerton's not really as competitive as they seem–hmmm."

Anthony could not let her finish so he silenced her with his lips. She wanted to laugh again at his predictability but she was too absorbed with the feeling of his hot mouth on hers. Anthony trailed his hands lower to rest over her womanhood and Penelope gasped and leaned into the feeling.

"Shall we set some ground rules for this little…challenge?"

Penelope moaned when Anthony pushed the heel of his palm further into her weeping womanhood. Oh that felt so good, she could hardly think straight. Anthony knew just what he was doing.

"I just need to know how to win." Penelope gasped when his hands moved to her bum and pulled her into his front. The hardness was noticeable and her eyes widened.

When Anthony was describing the marital act, Penelope had so many questions and Anthony was there to answer them all. By the end he was painfully hard thinking about all the ways he could take her when she was comfortable with such a big step in their marriage.

"So you have one of those?" Penelope asked, and pointed to the male form in the anatomy book Anthony retrieved specially for this lesson.

"Yes, all men have them."

"I see. So that goes…where your tongue went?" Penelope was so innocent that it could not help add to his arousal.

"Yes, my love. It will hurt at first, and you will bleed on your first time–"

"Blood?!" She asked, pale faced.

Anthony saw her hands shaking and lifted her in his lap to hold her. He could tell she was scared and that made him feel upset. It was a very serious step and he was not going to take it unless she knew what happened and she had a say if that was what she was ready for.

"Only the first time. That means that your virginity was taken." He whispered into her hair, "After the penis is in and starts moving then you will begin to feel that heat again that you felt when I was kissing you on our wedding night."

"But it hurts?" Penelope asked, fearful.

Anthony knew she needed to see to understand, though he would do nothing more than show.

"Hop up, darling and I will show you."

"B-but–" He felt her fear.

"I will not do anything other than let you see. I promise."

Penelope nodded and did what she was told. Anthony remained seated as he undid his trousers. He was already regretting it, but he would climb mountains and fight bears if it was going to ease her nerves. Pen watched as he pulled out his half hard manhood.

A dull throb set in with her piercing gaze.

"It looks bigger than the picture."

Anthony groaned. "Some men have larger assets then others, my dear. Just like not all women are shaped with the most amazing sets of breasts like you."

Penelope laughed but then once again became transfixed with his penis. Anthony needed relief and so he moaned and wrapped his hands around his shaft. The pressure eased some of the craving but he so badly wanted it to be her hand, her mouth, her pussy–

"Does it hurt?" Penelope asked.

"No, my love. It just aches for you."

"Tell me what to do." Penelope was kneeling by his feet in seconds and Anthony threw his head back at the image alone, his dick almost fully hard. "I don't want you to ache."

"It is a good sort of ache, my darling."

"Anthony, tell me how I can make it better, you look so uncomfortable."

Anthony would have argued more if he was not gasping when Penelope wrapped her small warm hands around his dick. He had died and gone to heaven at that moment.

"What do I do?"

"Just a little harder–christ ugh–"

"Have I done something wrong–"

"No, my love, you are perfect. Now st-start moving your h-hands just like…th-that–oh god!" Anthony was panting with pleasure as his wife stroked his cock like a pro. He was almost concerned that she was so good but then remembered she was still a virgin. "This imitates the f-friction we m-make when–fuck!"

His cock was now fully hard and Penelope was in awe. She was still frightened that this thing was supposed to go inside her–hell it was huge–but she was less nervous now that she saw him.

A few minutes later after more expert stroking from Pen and cursing from Anthony, he came into his hanky. He had gone to return the favour but the couple was called to dinner.

"The first person to reach their peak loses." Anthony said, pressing his length into her.

Penelope placed her palm on his chest and pushed him away slightly. His eyes arched in question.

"That sounds like tiring work, my love." Penelope said, loving the taste of those words on her lips, "Perhaps you would help me rid of this dress so I may not get so hot?"

In seconds Anthony was behind her unlacing the corset of her dress only to curse that Benedict had tied it so well. He could almost see Benedict smirking in victory.

This is because I won't let you sleep with the maid, isn't it?

"I'll kill him." Anthony groaned before giving up and tearing it open.

Penelope gasped but was given no time to feel the cold graze her back seeing as Anthony latched his lips on the smooth skin of her shoulder. It was so soft and it felt so good. It warmed her and soon Penelope felt Anthony run his fingers over the pretty sleeved to pull down all the way. The dress pooled on the floor and Anthony snaked his hands around her to cup her breasts.

A moan escaped and Penelope felt so perfect in his hands.

Anthony moved to face her so that he could take her in, in all her majesty. If he was not so determined he would have cum in his pants by the sight. My god, she was a goddess. Benedict had the right idea of painting her. But now more than ever he refused to let anyone lay eyes on her like this.

She was perfect, in every way imaginable.

"Feeling cooler now?" Anthony asked, eyes raking over her nearly naked form.

"I am stifling." Penelope breathed, "It must be my stockings."

Anthony felt his heart burst at the thought. Without hesitation, he was on his knees, taking hold of the back of her calf and running the pads of his fingers over the soft white material. The hitch in Penelope's breath was all he needed to know that he was doing it right.

Looking up at her, through hooded eyes, Anthony kissed all the way from her sensitive ankle to her garter on her upper thigh. Anthony licked the soft skin just above the garter and he heard Penelope hiss in a breath. Using his teeth, Anthony pulled the garter ribbon until it went limp.

Anthony did not think he had a fetish but…he was happy to be proven wrong.

"Anthony." Penelope whined.

"Yes, my darling?" Anthony sucked the inner thigh and Penelope's head flew back.

"I…oh please." She whimpered.

"Where, my love?"

"Higher, higher, high–there! Oh god please! Yes!" Penelope rejoiced when she felt the first stroke of his wet tongue in between her folds, teasing her. It was such a fun and agitating game but it was perfect!

Pen's whines and moans were met with Anthony speeding up hurriedly to try to get her to reach his peak, not only to prove him the winner–but because he loved seeing her come undone. Her face was that of an angel.

Penelope knew that she was close and so she pulled away, still determined to cause him just as much strife as he had her. Anthony looked disappointed that he could not continue with his favourite meal.

"Not yet, husband." Penelope breathed, "I believe you are overdressed."

Just like that, his mood changed to sly. Anthony stood on his feet and walked her over to the bed.

"It seems I am. Should you wish to help me undress?"

"I need my hands for something else." Penelope said innocently–too innocently–as she knelt down to be aligned with his crotch. "Take them off slowly, my dear."

Gulping, Anthony began slowly taking off his cravat. He had barely thrown it across the room when Penelope had his pants halfway down revealing his hard boner. Leaving him no time to react, she placed her hands over the shaft and started pumping, using the precum to lubricate it–just like he had shown her.

"Pen–oh god, please mhhh."

"Why have you stopped, my love?" Penelope jerked it harder and it had his knees buckling in pleasure. When he continued to undress she thought back to when he used his mouth on her.

Was that something one does to please a man? Anthony never said…

Penelope looked at Anthony's face and saw it was thrown back in ecstasy. Brushing her thumb over the tip, she felt him buck into her touch. Using that courage, she used her tongue to lick the head and blow on it.

"Fuck–oh god, please do that again–ughhh!" Anthony had gone practically insane at the feeling.

Penelope smiled at what new waters she was testing–all of which seemed to be a success. A second later Penelope licked her lips and lined his cock just right so she could have him look her right in the eye before she made her move.

"Anthony." She whispered while she slowly pumped him.

Anthony opened his lust filled eyes and tried to focus, but everything glowed Penelope.

"You should know that I am just as competitive." Penelope finished by looking him directly in the eye when she wrapped her pillowy lips around the tip of his cock.

He had just died and gone to heaven. Burning pleasure shot through him and he needed her deeper. He wanted her so badly. Anthony was gasping for air as Penelope started taking more of him in her mouth and experimentally bobbing her head.

"Oh god–Penelope please–ughhh."

Penelope was so lost in the determination of trying to fit all of him in her mouth–which seemed impossible–that she almost drowned out the persistent sound of Anthony begging. Hollowing her cheeks she grew so wet when his hand buried in her locks and he whimpered with pleasure.

"Pen, ugh wait–fuck oh shit–Penelope ugh!" His moans were so sexy that she was craving more. "Pen, stoppppughhhh."

Granting him mercy she was pleased to see the look on his face. She did not realise how close to cumming he was. Never had someone come so close to making him peak with their mouth. Siena was not as gifted in that area, though he had tried to fake it for her on many occasions seeing as she had a thing for oral.

He did too, but now it was only Penelope who made his mouth water with need.

"You alright? Did I hurt you?" Penelope asked, concerned.

Instead of answering Anthony grabbed Penelope and threw her on the bed before following her and devouring her exposed breasts. The wet heat of his mouth mixed with the cool air of the night, Penelope's nipples were pebbling in no time at all.

Penelope moaned.

"You sneaky minx." Anthony moaned in between gulps of her bosoms, "Using your perfect mouth on me."

"I w-was cl-close to w-winning then?" Penelope chuckled.

"I will admit nothing, my love, only that you are perfect beyond all measure." Anthony hovered over her and looked into her eyes, admiring how blue they were.

No longer were they an almost transparent blue, they were baby blue with ripples of midnight blue. It fascinated them the depths they went. He vowed to spend hours studying them–he never wanted to forget what they looked like right now, as she cupped his cheeks lovingly.

Neither did Pen. She wanted to remember this–this momentous day.

"Anthony."

"Yes, my love?"

"Will you please use your cock and make me see the stars?"

A sly smile came on Anthony's face as he leaned over her, begging his arms to stay where they are and not buckle like he wanted to. Her sensual innocence was just so sexy.

"As you wish, my darling."

The kissing continued as Anthony lowered his body on her so she would get used to the pressure. She moaned, feeling some pressure on her pussy and it was such a relief. Sliding his fingers down her stunning body, he started to enter her with his digits.

Pen hissed in a breath at the intrusion.

"I am just preparing you, my darling." Anthony reassured, seeing that she almost looked afraid that he would not claim her fully.

"That feels so good." Penelope breathed when her pussy had accustomed to the feel. Anthony pumped slowly before speeding up just a little and curling his fingers just a tad so she would dig her nails into his shoulder.

Soon he had Penelope panting and begging for release.

"Good girl, you are doing so well." He praised and Penelope bucked into his hand harder. "I think you are ready for my cock. Do you think you and that perfectly tight pussy can take–"

"Please, Anthony." Pen moaned.

Anthony smiled before lining himself up. He looked down at the waiting Penelope and saw that the lust was replaced with nerves. Instead of push through like his body wished him to, he took a second and kissed her forehead lovingly.

"Tell me to stop if you do not like anything." He whispered and she nodded.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too."

Penelope felt an intrusive sting like she was being torn from the inside out. It hurt and she closed her eyes, not wanting to see how far he had to go to be fully in. Anthony was breathing heavily, making sure that she was okay and yet admiring her tight pussy, squeezing his cock perfectly.

Anthony reached her wall and leaned down to kiss her.

"It will be over soon I promise." Anthony said against her lips before jerking in fully.

The pain was intense and Penelope felt tears brim her eyes. Anthony saw the tears in her closed eyes and kissed each lid feeling guilty for causing her any pain. He continued to whisper apologies and match them with kisses.

"Please don't move yet." Penelope hissed.

Penelope wriggled a little to adjust. Oh the pain! Oh the…pain? Pain? Oh god!

When she moved to get comfortable the most blinding pleasure shot through her whole body. And she tightened around Anthony. He moaned and instinctively jerked into her causing her to gasp.

"Oh god! Anthony, that is…perfect!" Penelope was writhing in pleasure and Anthony started to move into a steady rhythm, savouring her tight pussy and diving in to suck her tits.

The stimulation was incredible and Penelope thought she was not going to last much longer if he continued doing that. Penelope drew him closer by wrapping her legs around him and linking her ankles. The new angel had her groaning loudly.

Anthony jerked into her hard and Pen was sure that no such pleasure existed.

"Yes–there–oh god! "

"Welcome to marital bliss, my love."

Anthony doubled his efforts and pounded into her, chasing his own fast approaching release. It was just out of his reach and so he took Penelope's under-knee and drew it to her chest, giving him the perfect angle.

"Anthony! Yes! Yes! Yes! Ugh god there! I need you there–ughhhh! "

Her moans were his song and she was his singer! She was perfect.

"Cum for me, my love."

With those words, the most powerful orgasm crashed over Penelope. Her pussy squeezed him tight and he was not far behind. Hot cum shot from his manhood filling her with his seed. Again the image of her bearing his child would have been enough to make him cum again.

When they both came down from their high, Penelope was fighting to stay conscious and so Anthony spooned her to his naked and sweaty body. Anthony moved the hair from her neck and placed a soft kiss there.

"I love you, Penelope Anne Bridgerton." Anthony whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered before falling to sleep–completely forgetting about the ball hosted in her honour.

Nothing mattered except Anthony holding her, and Anthony loving her. Everything else could wait…this couldn't.

Notes:

Until next time lovelies ;)

Chapter 26: Wet Dreams & A horrid accident

Summary:

Anthony wakes his wife in the most perfect way and Penelope can't help but love it!

Breakfast with the family is met with a frantic Eloise.

'it was an accident!'

Notes:

AHHHHHH I LOVED WRITING THIS CHAPTER!

Thank you to everyone for being so patient with me! I hope that you enjoy this chapter!

We have some angst and sorrow from Colin (do not fear I have a happy ending for Colin in a squeal!)

We have some horny shit and we have a hot mistake!

Philip is just...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Morning air bit into Anthony's bareback waking him fully from his slumber. Peaking his eyes open he was met with the sight of Penelope in his arms, curled perfectly in the crook of him. When he closed his eyes last night, he was so afraid that when he opened them again that he would awake alone, having dreamed it all. It was such a relief to have her in his arms still.

Anthony was positive that Penelope was made to fit in his arms. There was a Penelope sized hole in his heart and having her just as she was, filled him perfectly. Nothing would top this. Waking up with his wife nestled in his arms as the sun streaked through the window illuminating her soft pale skin. She looked so peaceful. So angelic.

Anthony traced the soft skin of her shoulder, mesmerised by the beauty of her.

She truly was an angel, and he would spend every day praying to his angel. Penelope Anne Bridgerton was the light of his life and the foundation of all that was good. One day he vowed that she would know just how much he loved her–but no matter how many times he spelled out I love you that would never be enough to share the undying yearning in his heart for the woman who slept in his arms.

Nothing could have been more perfect. Just like this, everyday, with her.

If only the sun was not so insistent that it was time to wake. Just as he was about to kiss her awake, he heard the most delicious sound squeeze from her throat. It was a mix between a repressed moan and a needy whimper.

Anthony felt an evil smile grow on his lips.

He knew exactly how to wake his bride.

It had to be a dream. It just had to have been!

There could have been no possible explanation for such an incredible feeling. Penelope was dreaming of all that transpired last night; from the waking of the day, to the most incredible pleasure she had ever received. How she was ever meant to fit a routine of sleep in without at least one session with her husband just like last night, was beyond her.

Though such intense pleasure was incredible–Penelope would forgo having intercourse with anyone ever again if only it meant she could fall asleep in Anthony's arms, and wake again to him kissing her shoulder–or anywhere really! It did not matter where he kissed her, only that it happened without fail.

Anthony was the love of her life, the sun to shine a light and the water she needed daily.

Pen drifted into the happiness of the most intoxicating dream.

Anthony had entered the bedroom, exhausted and tired after a long day dealing with Pen's mother's finances. Anthony had agreed to help sort out the featherington books before Prudence got married so that everything went smoothly, but things were quite the struggle seeing the shape that Pen's father and Cousin Jack had left their funds in.

Pen looked up from the book she was reading as she was sitting in bed waiting for him to return. Penelope had to admit that she was just as tired but more because of the fact that Eloise had her running around to and fro to keep away the suitors. But the tiredness fled when she saw that Anthony had his cravat undone and hanging loosely by his gorgeous neck.

Penelope still remembered the time that Anthnoy was drinking a cold glass of water after fencing with Benedict only to have a few drops trickle down the side of his lips as he gulped furiously. Those few delicate drops trailed down his taunt neck, until they disappeared under his exposed shirt. Pen had found it rather impossible not to remember being allowed to kiss his perfect neck and those lovely sounds he made when she did something right.

Now she shook her head and tried to get out the image of him moaning as she sensually kissed his neck and trailed further down–

"I am beat." Anthony did not bother to take off any of his clothes as he plonked himself on the bed beside her. She was grateful that he took his shoes off though.

Pen, still holding her book in one hand, reached out and started stroking his hair with her other hand. She heard him sigh happily and felt him snuggle close to her side. A content smile filled her features.

"Shall I even ask?"

"No," His voice was muffled into the fabrics of the sheets. Anthony peaked his head up to look at her with tired eyes, "Though would you read to me?"

"Of course–"

"Your writing. Whatever you have written, the latest will do." Anthony smiled before burying his head in her abdomen lazily while Penelope played with his hair.

"Alright then." Pen reached for her journal and began reading her latest poem–the one she was yet to ink in reality but she had memorised the night before when they were dancing. Opening her journal, she began;

"A flame tended well burns like an inferno within time,

That ache–powerful and needy, yearns for only you

Would I be correct in saying you long for me too?

That ache was first encountered the night we said 'I do.'

A growing stir filled in Pen when Anthony started to slowly stroke her hip with his thumb.

"Such pleasure is only whispered about

Not anymore–the night you made me sh-shout."

That once sleepy hand started moving lower until it rested on her upper thigh. Anthony had stirred to move further down her stomach until his face was nuzzling her core–her aching and needy core. Pen could not hold back a whimper.

"Anthony, what are you–"

"Keep reading, my darling." He whispered.

"The chimes of time only reminded us of the pl-pleasures of that upward climb.

Who knew that such joys held no crime

But there was a c-crime, one you cannot see

The day you stole that h-heart from m-me"

Penelope was finding it harder to concentrate when Anthony used his devilish fingers to graze up her leg slowly and sensually, reaching her knee, under her nightdress.

"What are you–"

"I know there is more." He said calmly, as if he was not teasing her.

"That night was the night I accepted–hmmm Anthony–"

Penelope moaned louder when his thumb grazed over her soaked womanhood.

"You're doing so well, don't stop." Anthony smiled slyly.

Gulping, she tried to go on.

"Th-that was night I a-accpeted the danger of l-love

It is a dangerous g-game but rewarding when you are all I think OF–"

Pen felt the cold air hit her skin when the sound of fabric ripping filled her ears. Somehow Ant had managed to shred her gown in two, leaving her needy cunt on display. Oh how badly she wanted him to just lean a little bit closer and–

"Don't stop reading, my love."

"Anthony, please–"

"Keep reading." He said, looking up at her with lust filled eyes.

"These steps we t-take,

Knowledge a-awake

Would you t-tame this growing a-ache

Until m-my legs give out and QUAKE–yes!"

Oh god his tongue!!! That perfect, perfect tongue!

"Oh, please!"

"Is there more?" Anthony asked.

"Y-yes, but–"

"Then keep reading. I want to hear all of it." Anthony said evilly.

Penelope was panting with exasperation and need but she complied, fearful that he would not continue if she stopped her poem.

"A k-kiss, a p-peck–oh god!–a bite and lick

God, oh god, I want that thick, long di–ANTHONY!"

Penelope could not help the fact that she started bucking into his face or the fact that her journal fell out of her hands and his tongue plunged deep into her pussy.

Why does this feel so real?!

As if in a daze, Penelope's dream started to fade away, but the urgency to keep grinding forward only increased. Penelope opened her sleepy eyes to find that her husband was indeed between her legs, lapping at her juices like a starved man.

"Oh god!" Penelope shrieked and moved to pull away out of instinct, but Anthony gripped her thighs tight to keep her pressed into the mattress.

Damn that was hot.

Her need for release piled high and she reached down and buried her hand in his hair and threw her head back just enjoying the feeling of Anthony's hot wet tongue in her pussy. It was perfect in every way and brought about the most delectable feeling inside.

"Does this please you?" He said between licks

"I…"

She felt so wrong if she was to say yes. But she would feel even worse if she lied because by god's green earth it felt enchanting. Even as lady Whistledown she had never felt half as wicked. This man was coating such naughty thought in her mind and such wanton sounds from her lips.

"Oh! Yes, yes." Pen breathed out.

Pen continued to puff out quick breaths of air as he continued his handiwork. Instinct told her to grind harder.

Penelope would consider herself jealous when it comes to her husband. She hates the way women look at him and stare longer than necessary–but she would never say anything to Anthony about it. She knew that he was hers and no one else's.

For a time, Penelope had been rather jealous of all the women Anthony had slept with to make him so…well versed in the female form and how to please–but on mornings like this–she did not give a damn if it had been the queen herself who instructed him, as long as he did not stop exactly what he was doing!

"Ughhh!" Her moans only doubled his efforts and Penelope was certain that she would not last much longer if he continued the way he was going, "Faster! Please, Anthony–Ughhhhh!"

"O-oh!" She gasped, "Ah, my l-lord–Ahh!"

"That's it, Pen. That feeling there." Anthony continued his work and Penelope was on fire, "Chase that feeling. Good girl."

His motivations spurred her on. Anthony wanted her to know the beauty she was, he wanted to wake up and see her smiling, he wanted her to laugh everyday and never feel like a burden–he wanted Penelope. Penelope Bridgerton was the constant, the lighthouse and he never realised that until now. Anthony wanted to come home from a long day and find Penelope reading her book, to then look up and see him with her breathtaking smile and ask him how his day was.

That blasted orgasm was fast approaching but it was just out of reach.

"Anthony, I need–oh please, just…UGH!"

When Anthony sucked her clit in between his lips and flicked it mercilessly with his tongue Pen tugged his hair and practically shoved his face further into her core, begging for more. That familiar taste of her ever rising peak was reaching and Penelope could not help but grind harder into his face.

It was so sinful but it tasted so sweet! Just a little…

Anthony used his one hand to reach up and squeeze her breast through her nightgown, and the other spread her pussy lips wider so he could go deeper into her. Penelope did not know which did it for her but that had her panting like a racehorse and only a few seconds from cumming.

Anthony gave a few more flicks of his tongue and moaned into her cunt and she was gone.

"Anthony. Anthony! Anthony, don't stop! ANthonyyyyyy! Oh god! Oh GOD–ANTHONY!!!" Pen was sobbing with pleasure and came all over Anthony's face.

Ant did not waste a single drop of that hot liquid like he was a man dying of thirst and she was the only source of water. What damn good water it was too! She tasted devine! After helping her ride out her orgasm, Penelope went limp, trying desperately to catch her breath and define fiction from fantasy.

Her husband wiped his juice covered face and crawled up to pepper her neck and face with kisses.

"Good morning, my love." Anthony whispered.

"How often am I to expect to wake up with my husband's face between my legs?" Penelope was still catching her breath.

Anthony chuckled into her neck, "As often as you would allow, my love."

"You are willing to do that every morning?!" Pen's eyes were wide with shock.

He moaned into her skin, "Willing, able, overjoyed–call it what you will, just allow me the honour of pleasuring you."

"What a perfect wake-up call–"

Before Anthony could kiss her again like they both wanted to, they heard a pounding on the door.

"Sorry to interrupt you two, but it is breakfast! Are you coming or not?"

"I was going to if you hadn't–" Anthony muttered angrily under his breath, cursing Benedict for ruining his morning. Pen hit his arm and sent him a look.

"We will be down shortly." Pen called out, holding back a laugh. When they heard the footsteps leave, Pen kissed him heartily, "I promise to repay you, but I am starving." She murmured against his lips.

Anthony drew back and looked her in the eyes.

"I do not need repayment, my darling. I do it because I love you and it brings me joy. You owe me nothing," Anthony cupped her cheek, "You are most generous, but seeing you like that, waking up next to you every morning–if you allow me–is payment enough. I do not require anything in return."

Contentment filled her heart.

"I know, my love." Pen whispered, "But I want to. The sooner we eat the sooner I will have the strength to have you buried deep in my needy pussy, that aches only for you."

Anthony practically sprang from the bed, in a rush to deal with this matter so he could ravish his wife sooner. His clumsiness had Penelope chuckling but she simply rolled her eyes and rose to dress also.

Twenty minutes later they were both downstairs and headed for the dining room where everyone was seated. Well except for Colin who was still in bed.

"Where is your brother?" Violet asked, while Anthony kissed her cheek.

"Recovering, Mother." Benedict said, eyeing Anthony warily, "He was trying to find relief at the bottom of a bottle."

That was the tame way of saying he was trying to drink himself into a coma.

Colin knew. He knew what married couples did and he knew the minute that the two of them rushed off together that they planned to do just that. That constant throb in his heart would not go away, no matter how hard he tried. The fact that Penelope was happy was enough…but his heart could not stop aching every time he saw Anthony wrap his arm around her wishing it could have been his own, or the way Anthony would kiss her forehead wishing that his lips could replace his brothers.

Last night when he saw the two of them run off he knew. He also knew that he had to drown the pain with bourbon because nothing else would do. Benedict had stumbled on him that night chugging one glass after the other, tears streaming down his cheeks. Colin would not stop until the bottom of the bottle was dry.

Ben wrapped his brother in a hug and just told him that it was all going to be okay. The two drank the night away until Colin passed out, luckily after Benedict helped him stumble up the stairs and into his room. It hurt Ben to see his brother so heartbroken, but he also rejoiced that Penelope and Anthony were both happy. The burden of a big family–but he would not trade it away.

"This is family breakfast, and I believe we should all be here to celebrate Penelope returning–"

"I doubt that Colin is not overjoyed, Mother, but I can almost promise you that he is in no celebratory mood and will not be for some time." Ben tried not to snap. If they had seen what he had seen last night then they all would agree that Anthony's public display of affection was not welcome. "Another time, I'm sure."

Violet looked her son dead in the eye finally understanding. "I see."

"I hope you won't have to." Benedict said gloomily.

Eloise came barreling into the room, face flushed, still in her nightdress, forehead glistening with beads of sweat. All eyes were on her but it was Violet who spoke first.

"Eloise, whatever is the matter? Why are you not dressed? What–"

"Pen." El squeaked.

Penelope's eyes widened and she realised why she was flushed. Instantly she stood and rushed to her friend's side who was quivering like a leaf. Violet stood too but Penelope turned to her mother-in-law with a smile on her face.

"I will help her get ready. We shouldn't be too long." Pen reassured them.

The breakfast continued as did conversation, but the journey to Eloise's room was silent except for the constant muttering from her friend. Penelope thought it best to ask her friend all her questions when they were in the confines of her room.

Once behind the closed doors Pen looked at her friend expectantly.

"El, what has–" Pen started.

"I shall never hear from him again! How could I do something so foolish! I am ruined!" Eliose was pacing the room frantically, "I did not mean to!"

"Eloise, breathe and tell me what is the matter. What have you done?" Penelope took hold of her friends shoulders and shook them slightly, trying to get her to focus.

El's glistening eyes zeroed on Pen.

"I wrote to him."

"Philip?" Pen rose her brows in confusion. Eloise nodded, "Why is that bad? You have been corresponding for a time now, haven't you–"

"This is different!" El hissed, biting her lip to keep it from wobbling, "Ever since we got back from Ireland I had a servant send my letters in the morning, directly to Philip's estate so Anthony would not see me go to the post everyday. I would write those letters in the evening and leave them sealed on my desk so my maid could hand it to the servant who would then take my letter–it was a well thought out plan."

El tossed her hands about to hurry her own story.

"Well, each night my servant would slip Philip's reply under my door and I would respond–so on and so forth. After I read his letter and responded…I would also write out my…dreams from that morning."

Penelope's eyes widened. Eloise had been writing out her sensual dreams! The ones she could not explain! Oh no…

"Once I wrote my dreams out, I would date them and place them in my special place where no one will find them. But…last night I…forgot."

Oh no!

"Eloise, tell me that you didn't–"

"I left it on the table beside my letter to Phillip and when I woke they were both gone!" El cried and threw her head in her hands.

Penelope felt her heart stop. This was not good…at all! Ever the optimist, Pen took her friend's hand and tried to calm her.

"Perhaps it was misplaced–"

"I asked my maid and she said that both letters were sent to him!" Eloise was in tears and Penelope knew that nothing she could say would help her friend.

Oh when El had met Philip for the first time last night she thought she would faint just by his perfect eyes alone. He was tall, his hair was dark and his smile was jaw dropping. Everything about this man was perfect. The way they danced together, talked about nothing and everything, the way he had asked after her health and wellbeing–this was the man she could picture her life with! If only she hadn't gone and screwed it up!

If Philip were a gentleman he would ignore the journal entry and burn it–but if he were a gentleman then he would not be writing to an eligible unmarried woman to start with, Pen thought. Pen then had a sliver of hope–perhaps her last dream was not so very bad…hopefully.

"El, what was your dream about? There is still hope that it was not so very scandalous–"

Eloise looked up at her friend in despair.

"I-it was the w-worst of all!"

Pen cringed. Eloise's mind flashed back to the dream she had written down. Ever since she had been having these dreams, she had been exploring her body more to find out why it responded the way it did–and two nights ago, she found what made her cry out in blinding pleasure.

"Oh Philip, please!" Eloise cried out as her husband latched his perfect mouth over her breasts. Those gorgeous curls peaked through her fingers while her hand lay buried in his hair. Just as she had done the night before, she loved the way he used his other hand to tweak her nipple that sent heat down to her womanhood.

"Please, what? More? Harder? Tell me." Philip asked, taking her hand and kissing each finger individually, before kissing up her arm, to her collarbone and then her neck.

Eloise felt her heat rising and she wanted him down where she had recently discovered brought her most pleasure. She wanted him where her womanhood was growing increasingly wetter–as it normally did when she dreamed of him.

"I need–uhhh–more!" She moaned.

Philip smirked when his thick digit entered her waiting cunt. Eloise moaned and gasped at the delicious feeling. What he did to her!

"Does my flower need it harder?" Philip started to pump his hand slightly to cause friction and that had El withering by his touch. Oh he did the most wicked things to her!

"Yes, yes, yes–Philip pleaseeee." Eloise was panting when he added another digit inside of her and started pumping faster until her hips met his hand in the most glorious dance. That familiar heat was rising and El knew that if he did not stop she would soak his hand in that sticky white stuff that meant she had reached her peak.

"Philip, more! Harder!" El said, instead of 'stop'. "Just like…thattttttt!"

"My beautiful flower." Philip kissed her neck before pinching her nipples just the way she liked having that blinding tidal wave wash over her as she panted his name as if it were her prayer.

"Philip, Philip, Phil–ughhhhhhh!"

Eloise shot up from her bed, dripping in sweat, with her pussy throbbing and her heart racing. El knew that the rest of the day would be unbearable if she did not finish what her dream had started and so she spent the next five minutes bringing herself to climax, thinking of Philip's fingers replacing her own.

"Eloise, I–"

"He will never speak to me again!!" Eloise cried, "He will think me a whore!"

Pen blushed at the word.

"Eloise, Philip is a good man–"

A knock came at the door and both girls stilled.

"Eloise, get dressed please. We have visitors downstairs." Violet called out.

Pen looked at her friend and hugged her. She knew that one hug would not change the fact that she was terrified…but perhaps it would pass on some of her courage. El needed it. When Pen left the room to let the maids help her change, Pen tried to act like her ears hadn't just been sullied with all that Eloise dreamed Philip did to her.

After a nibble of breakfast in the empty dining room, Pen then moved to find where everyone had disappeared to. Entering the drawing room, which was where the noise was coming from, Pen's jaw dropped when she saw who was the centre of attention. It was in fact the very man whom she had just heard such…colourful and detailed imaginations about.

"Sir Philip." Pen breathed.

"Lady Penelope, how lovely to see you."

"And you." She tried to act calm.

Violet smiled and started to ask after his children and whatnot. Greg asked about his occupation and his flowers, which Philip was most pleased to share about. Ben was listening intently all while thinking about his discovery about how his little sister had been exchanging letters back and forth with this man.

Not a second after he spoke of his latest discovery, Eloise entered the room, wearing her light purple dress and her hair done up in a bun. She looked most disturbed and unhappy to be here, but when she looked up and saw who stood in the room…her eyes went wide.

"No, no, no–" Eloise spun around to leave but was blocked by her older brother.

"Sister, how nice of you to join us." Ben hooked his arm around her shoulder and drew her further in the room, but she felt as though she was being brought to the slaughter, "Come meet our guest."

Penelope watched the trainwreck before her and wished for El's sake that Hyacinth created a huge drama with Gregory so that Eloise might escape. Though one look at Philip and Pen could tell that he had read both letters…thoroughly.

"Miss Eloise." Philip took her hand and kissed it, lingering on her fingers more than the knuckle.

"Sir Philip." El croaked.

His lips were softer than she thought.

"Sir, I need to–"

"El!" Pen shouted to stop her friend, trying to remind her that the family was all watching. The family all seemed to jump at the sound, "You must be starving. Shall I get you some sandwiches?"

El seemed to understand her code.

"I shall come with you–"

"I actually wished to have a private audience with you, Miss Eloise." Philip spoke clearly.

Pen and El's eyes were wide with shock.

Violet was already shooing her children out the door but Anthony and Benedict stayed put, seemingly glaring at the man. Ben was very taken with Philip, but that did not mean that he trusted him fully.

"What do you wish to say to my sister that cannot be said to the rest of us?" Anthony asked, arms crossed as he stood watching.

Philip looked at Anthony undisturbed and answered.

"Well I wish to ask for your sister's hand in marriage."

Notes:

Epilogue to come!

Love you my people!

Chapter 27: You just met!?!!

Summary:

Phillip finds himself in a sticky situation.

Anthony goes a little overboard with protectiveness and is rewarded with a conversation with his wife.

Eloise shares her feelings and Violet hopes to have another son to the family!

Notes:

I'M SO SORRY!

I AM STILL ALIVE!

It has been literal ages my peeps but I am back! I stayed up late trying to get this one out for you all! I am trying to work on another one so y'all lot get another chapter out by tomorrow or the next day. Work has been tearing into me and I feel like shooting myself in the foot!

I hope that you all love this chapter! I had fun writing protective Anthony!

Lil angsty with past trauma but some light fluffy stuff too! I hope you all enjoy! Smut ensured in the next chapter!!!!!

Love you lovelies!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"I beg your pardon?" Anthony blinked slowly.

Phillip's eyes latched onto Eloise, his eyes tranquil and mysterious.

"I wish to marry Miss Eloise Bridgerton." Phillip spoke gently.

Those who looked on…which was all of them–except for Colin who was only just rubbing his tired eyes to wake for the day. Anthony's mouth hung wide open along with the rest of the onlookers. Penelope has been startled to say the least–the only one who seemed even remotely aware of this little happenstance was Benedict who chomped happily on a pear.

To Eloise, there was not enough air in this crowded room, nor was there enough privacy to give her answer or to practise all of her nasty dreams. The man of her literal dreams had just asked for her hand in marriage and she was standing there with her mouth hanging wide open, begging to never wake up from this perfect daydream.

Knowing what she did, Penelope was acutely aware of all that had been happening between the couple before them all. The letters, the dreams and the fantasies were only known by three of them and she hoped that it remained so.

Philip was most certainly not an unattractive man, but Eloise had not been aware of that until last night, so Penelope had a headstart on what exactly Eloise's fantasies would look like in reality, making it rather uncomfortable to see him in person. Her friend had a very active and descriptive imagination. Penelope was blushing just thinking about the intimacy that Philip had read in his most recent letter that morning.

"I believe you have us confused with another Bridgerton family."

"Miss Eloise has a twin, does she?" Phillip asked, turning to Anthony deadpan.

"Ha!" Benedict covered his laugh behind a cough which turned into him choking on a chunk of his pear which Greg had to slap him heartily on the back so he could swallow it down the right pipe.

Anthony's jaw twitched. This man was arrogant.

"Allow me to rephrase," Anthony glared, "You are not marrying my sister."

Eloise's eyes snapped to her oldest brothers.

"Anthony, that is not your decision to make!"

"You do not even know her!" Anthony tried to reason.

Eloise's eyes bulged out of her head. She was begging Philip not to bring up how very wrong her brother was. So very wrong. Sir Philip knew her better than most. Through the many letters that they had exchanged, so too had tales and information about themselves.

Eloise felt as though Philip knew her soul–but not in the terrifying way. For some reason, the phrase seeing into your soul scared El. No one would like what they saw if they looked deep enough…but that was not the case with Philip. She gave it to him freely with the certainty that this man was a kind and gentle creature who cherished every precious thing in his care.

To Philip, it certainly was. Precious that is.

"I believe it only takes one meeting for two souls to intertwine and tell each other that they cannot live without the other. Two souls braided, never to be broken." Philip turned to Eloise who was flushed and breathless, "Last night when I danced with your sister it felt as though our hearts beat together in the same melody, an unstoppable force, impenetrable. As if the whole world ceased to exist and there was just…us."

Penelope looked up at her husband, shocked to find him red in the face from anger. Though she was sure that his expression of defiance and stubbornness should not have come as a shock to her seeing as he is the very picture of protectiveness when it came to his family–borderline overprotective.

In a weak attempt to scold him, Anthony spoke.

"Poetry has no place in marriage."

Penelope did not comprehend what she said before she could stop herself, "I thought you like my poetry?" Anthony looked down at her and realised his mistake. Penelope's eyes widened when she realised hers. She looked around frantically and wanted to die when Benedict was once again choking and Phillip was hiding a smile. "I…well poetry is…you see–blast it all."

She blushed furiously.

"Now let us be reasonable." Violet chuckled nervously, stepping forward, trying to bring the conversation back to her daughter and hopeful future son-in-law.

Violet knew what her son was doing and she disagreed thoroughly. Violet knew what love looked like and she had assumed–wrongly–that because Anthony had found love himself, he would see that his younger sister and the strapping man in their living room was the very picture of head over heels in love.

"You have your answer, Lord Crane, now I think it is time for you to leave." Anthony cleared his throat.

Penelope knew her husband. She knew exactly why Anthony was telling this man no.

"Allow me to clarify, Lord Bridgerton," Phillip stepped forward with a gentle, yet determined smile on his face, "I was not asking your permission."

There was a laugh from Benedict who was unchanged by this occurrence. In fact he was rooting for Philip at this point. With poetry like that, who wasn't in a puddle?! Not Anthony that is. The others were waiting with bated breath to see what Anthony would do next.

It was heartily amusing that Anthony was getting so incredibly riled up by all of this but Eloise could not see the joke in any of it, not when she felt as though her happiness was in the hands of Anthony. With one word from him, she could be loveless forever. Eloise looked desperately to Penelope for some help, knowing that if anyone could change his mind it would be his wife. Penelope saw this plea and decided that she would have to take matters into her own hands. Starting by taking her husband's hand.

"Lord Crane, I understand you have had a tiresome journey, perhaps we shall have some tea fetched for you?" Penelope said, giving Phillip a look as if telling him to agree.

"Yes?" He spoke almost hesitantly.

"Of course, and I also remember you saying that crowds are not your cup of tea, should you be more comfortable in the gardens perhaps?" Pen used that exact same tone telling him to agree, without outright telling him to agree.

Phillip seemed to catch on to what she was doing.

"You are correct. The gardens sound lovely." Phillip bowed his head.

"Eloise, would you please show Lord Crane the gardens while Benedict fetches the tea?"

Anthony's gaze was swinging between Eloise, Phillip and Penelope like a tennis match, mouth hanging open. All of these plans going on without his permission.

"Violet, could you please inform the cook that we have another guest staying for dinner?" Penelope said, taking charge.

Violet smiled, "Of course, my dear. Come children." Hy, Greg and Violet all exited the room, sad they could not see the look on Anthony's face when he could finally comprehend what was going on. Fran and Ben both smirked at the situation unfolding before their eyes.

"Hang on–" Anthony spoke but was interrupted.

"Forgive me, Lord Crane, but I must have a word with my husband. Enjoy the gardens." Penelope gave her best smile.

"I believe I shall." Phillip smiled at Eloise who blushed wildly.

The clear dismissal was understood and Fran followed the couple out the door to act as chaperon. Eloise sent her friend a big yet nervous smile. By the time Benedict left the room–more out of haste to see the kitchen staff…and by staff he meant the sexy maid who Anthony was keeping him away from–Anthony's brain had imploded, completely unaware of how things had gone awry.

There was silence. Only Pen and Anthony.

"What was that? We cannot leave her alone with that man!" Anthony was going crazy now.

Penelope stood in front of her husband and took his hands gently.

"Anthony." She said softly.

"Eloise is too young to be married."

"Eloise is only a month younger than me." Penelope chuckled.

"This is different. What if he hurts her?" Anthony pointed to the door where the couple had exited.

"El is a force of nature, if anyone should be afraid of being hurt it is him." She rolled her eyes humorously.

"But…but what if–"

"Anthony." Pen brought her hand up to cradle his cheek, "Look at me."

When their eyes met, Penelope's gaze softened even more. She knew why her husband was acting the way he was. Anthony was such a good man. But he needed to calm down enough to face his fear. His fear of letting his siblings go.

"You are such a good brother, and you have led your family so well, you need to know that. The way you strive to protect them all and make sure every need is met even if it is at the expense of your own pleasure or enjoyment. I have always admired that." Penelope stroked his wedding band with her thumb, "One day you are going to make a perfect father and you will teach our son the difference between right and wrong, and if he grows to be anything like his father then I will be overjoyed."

Anthony felt his heart squeeze and his eyes sting, knowing what she was doing.

"My love," She whispered, "You do not have to be your father. You do not have to be El's father."

The room started to blur and Anthony felt his eyes sting with the ache of longing. Penelope saw this and brought his hand to her lips and kissed him soundly. She loved him with all her heart and she knew that he loved her.

"She needs me." Anthony croaked, looking at the door.

"And she will always have you, Anthony. But she is growing up, just like you. They all are." Pen smiled sadly, "That is the way time works, my love. We all get older sometimes. You just had to grow up quicker than others."

The death of Edmund Bridgerton was horrible and troublesome. It was a devastating day and Anthony felt half responsible.

If only…

What if…

Those phrases were torture. To make up for so much guilt, Anthony was trust into the life of a grown man, a viscount and the man of the estate. From the moment he walked into the house to hear his mother weeping, he became the father of his siblings. No more was he the older brother, he was their foundation and their shoulder.

Anthony had not known anything else.

"Eloise will always be grateful to have had you as her father figure, Anthony, but now it is time to be her brother and see that she is a woman now. A woman who is madly in love with a man who will cherish her." Penelope cupped his cheek and swiped away his tears.

"I can't let her go yet." Anthony felt so weak.

Pen felt tears of her own pool.

"I know, my love. I know." Penelope felt his pain and wanted to comfort him and to just hold him. "Eloise will, forever and always, need Anthony Bridgerton, her older brother. She will never stop needing you. Never."

A strangled noise came from his throat at the thought of having to let his free spirited sister go. Penelope felt her lip tremble and she quickly embraced her husband in a hug and allowed him the peace of just crying. She was afraid that he never had the chance to ever really open up about this.

Pen knew what a strong man Anthony was. He was tough as nails and would go to the ends of the earth if that meant even a slight ounce of happiness for those whom he cared about. She also knew that he would bottle up his fragile emotions if that meant that he would never have to shed another tear again.

Anthony felt like the father because Edmund had died when his siblings were so young. Hell Hyacinth never got to meet her father. In all these years that had passed Anthony could not deal with the pain and ache of having his siblings taken from him. How could he cope?

If it was going to be this hard to part with his family, the thought of saying goodbye to his real son or daughter was something he never wanted to do. He never wanted to stop holding them, or to stop cherishing them, or to stop teaching them all that his father had shown him.

They grew up…and they moved on.

"I don't want to let go." Anthony choked.

"I have you." Penelope squeezed him just that bit tighter and warmth enveloped him.

It was then. Then he realised that he had his family, sure. Yes he still had his mother and his siblings but he also had his wife. The woman who had managed to love him through the ugly and through the pain even when he was an ass.

Penelope was his foundation, his shoulder and he would be that for her. He was in love with this woman. He was not going to let go, nor was she.

"I will always and forever need you, Penelope Anne Bridgerton." Anthony pulled away and whispered the softest of kisses on his wife's lips. Her fingers traced his jaw and she felt all of his love, all of his pain, and all of his healing.

Anthony knew that Eloise was going to leave one day, he just had hoped it would not be so soon. Sure he was going to insist on a long engagement due to the haste that this had all been arranged, but he first and foremost wanted El to be happy and to be loved. There was no doubt that Phillip loved her and that she in return loved him.

Being a man in love himself, he wanted all of his siblings to have the same flutter in their hearts when their spouses walked through a door, or the same smile fill their lips when they see their soulmate laughing or enjoying themselves–though he hoped to never hear about how desperately they craved the succulent body of their loved ones, like he did.

"I love you, you know that?" Penelope smiled against his lips.

"I love you too, my darling." Anthony brought his lips to her forehead and enjoyed how easy it was to just lean down and kiss her whenever he so chose to. "I love you so much."

Pen closed her eyes and sighed happily. They stayed in each other's embrace for some time just holding one another in silence. This was the picture she had longed for, the one she had one day hoped to have if she ever got married. The picture of her and her husband in marital bliss just holding one another like nothing else in the whole world mattered.

A knock came at the door forcing the couple to detach from one another.

"Come in." Anthony called out once he had given his wife one final quick kiss.

The face of Violet Bridgerton popped into view.

"Phillip would like to have a word with you, darling." Violet smiled at Anthony.

Pen looked at her husband expectantly. Taking a deep breath, he smiled at his mother with some resign and nodded.

"Send him in. I should also like a word with Eloise after." Anthony added hastily.

Violet nodded and left the room.

"Shall I stay?" Penelope asked, stoking her husband's ring again.

"No, my love. I should speak to him in private." Anthony caressed her cheek before placing another kiss on her forehead, "I promise to behave. I am sure you are dying to see Eloise."

Penelope smiled. Her husband knew her well. She was dying to hear from her friend, but her priority was her husband. Anthony would always take first place–but Eloise was next in the ranks.

"I love you." Penelope gave him a final peck on the lips. Before she left she murmured against his lips, "I intend to show you just how much I love you tonight when everyone has gone to bed." In one delightfully shocking move, Pen actually licked the seam of his lips before giving him a saucy wink and leaving the room. Anthony half hard and mouth hanging open!

It took him a moment to compose himself and was glad that Phillip was not sent in before Benedict was.

"I was told to meditate." Ben shrugged and slumped in the chair, annoyed that he was no longer in the kitchen flirting with the kitchen maid.

The way she had blushed when he winked at her–damn he wanted to find out how far down that blush went. If only Anthony didn't have to make talking with that sexy woman so damn difficult.

Not a second later Eloise was sent in looking ready to explode.

"Anthony, I can explain–

"Eloise." Anthony said gently as hsi sister began pacing.

"And I want you to hear me out–"

"Eloise–"

"Before you yake on about how old I am, I think it is only fair to say that you are married to my best friend who is only slightly older than me–"

"El–"

Ignoring him she went on, never once looking up to see him huffing amused.

"Sir Phillip is not that much older than me–but even so, Mama has been having me dance with men older than him, which I will forever despise." She fake gagged, "I know that if you just tried to know him like I do then maybe–"

"Eloise!" Anthony gripped her shoulders tightly but not rough.

Her eyes were wide and sheen with spilt tears.

"Do you like him, Eloise?" Ant asked gently.

Eloise nodded, lip trembling slightly.

"Eloise," He fought the urge to close his eyes and stop this moment from happening. "Do you love him?"

There was a moment of hesitation, not because Eloise was not begging to scream yes, but because she saw the tears in her brother's eyes which gave her pause. Ant was not emotional like this.

"I love him, Anthony." Eloise croaked, "I truly love him."

"That is all I need to hear." Anthony hugged her tight willing the tears away again.

With this knowledge he knew what he would say and how he would go about this. Phillip was a lucky man to have his sister's love. She loved with her whole heart, but she also knew how to fuel that passion into hate too.

"Will you send Phillip in? I must speak with him now." Anthony pulled away and smiled down at her.

"What will you say?" She sniffed.

"You will know soon enough sister." He gave her one last look before squeezing her shoulder and nodding towards the door.

Anthony was only allowed a moment to recover before Phillip entered the room looking rather pleased, making a twinge of anger rise in Anthony before he reminded himself of the conversation that his wife had had with him earlier. Eloise was happy. This man could make her happy.

"Take a seat, Lord Crane." Anthony gestured to the sofa opposite him as he took his own seat.

Phillip took it gratefully and nodded his thanks. Anthony thought about how to go about this and decided that direct was best. He needed to know what kind of man could be looking after his sister for the rest of her life.

"My sister is a Bridgerton, Lord Crane, she is beautiful, she is strong willed and she is an incredibly wealthy woman–"

Philip's eyes darkened instantly.

"I ask that you don't ever disrespect me like that again, Lord Bridgerton." He glared, "I do not want to marry your sister for her wealth–hell, I would marry her without a nickel to her name, though I may never get the chance to prove that but it is true." Ben nodded approvingly at his response.

Anthony was impressed with his reaction.

"I understand you are looking for a new wife." Anthony said, leaning back in his chair. "My condolences for your loss." His regret was sincere and Phillip knew that.

In no way was Phillip in love with Marina, but he did care about her, even if she did not give a lick about him. When he had been witness to her attempts, his heart had jumped into his throat. Philip had tried daily to ensure that she was at least content–some days his main goal was to make her laugh or even smile–but he blamed himself that day.

Perhaps if he had not spent so much time with his plants then he might not have driven his wife to those waters. The doctor had said that she was unwell before that but that did not make him feel any better. He should have been looking for the signs.

"Thank you, Lord Bridgerton, but Marina was unhappy from the beginning. She was in love with my brother and yearned for him. I am not my brother, I am scrawnier, shorter, and do not possess the same bad boy charms that he had, but I would never do what my brother did." Philip scowled at the remembrance of his brother, "He defiled her as an honourable woman and for that I have little respect for George. Even after he did that, she still only wanted him. I do not understand why she could not be happy, but love is strange, is it not?"

"It is indeed." Benedict said.

Anthony turned to him in shock, but Ben only shrugged.

"Sir Phillip, I believe you to be a good man, if not a tad hasty, but I do prefer your direct nature. I can tell that you have deep admiration for my sister, but I am sure you understand my hesitation in supporting this union." Anthony was trying to be calm and rational, which Phillip saw and appreciated, "Eloise is special to our family. She is stubborn as a mule, has the craziest thoughts, does not give a whiff for propriety, she will mock you, yell at you when she is angry or hungry, she will hate whom you do and she will love you will every fibre of her being. Eloise is precious and I hope that you will show her that everyday."

Benedict whipped his head to his brother.

"You are not asking for my blessing nor are you asking for my advice but I should like to give you both, if you are open to such unwelcome gifts?" Anthony tilted his head to the side and was rather pleased to see the utter shock on Phillip's face.

"I beg your pardon?" Phillip blinked.

"I wish to give you some tips on how to deal with Eloise seeing as she is to be your wife, Phillip." Anthony rolled his eyes.

"Y-yes. Yes. I…I don't know what to say."

"Say that you will love her and treat her right." Benedict added, smiling kindly.

"Your sister will want for nothing, my lord. I love Miss Eloise with every ounce of my soul." Phillip declared, not a lie to be found.

Anthony stood to shake the man's hand.

"Then I believe all that's left is to fulfil the courting period, two months at least and the wedding date should be set."

Phillip's smile didn't drop one bit, "I want ot do right by your sister and give her the courting period she deserves. My intend was ensure that I make my intentions clear and declare my love before another lucky gent sweeps her off her feet."

The gentlemen laughed.

"We best give you and your future bride a moment to discuss the future then." Anthony tipped his head to Ben so they may leave and send Eloise in to speak with Phillip. Anthony turned back to Phillip seriously, "I don't know your character Sir Phillip but I am trusting you to behave. I know my sister will most likely sock you in the mouth if you try anything but I am asking for the word of a gentleman."

Phillip returned the look just as serious, with not a trace of a lie to be found.

"You have my word, my lord."

"Then I look forward to hearing when I may officially call you my brother, Sir Phillip."

Notes:

See you in the next chapter!

P.S

I LEGIT CAME UP WITH THE BEST POLIN IDEA.

I'm going to be working on a Therapist x Patient POLIN one shot for you lot!

Hopefully I can get it done before Christmas!!

Love you all!!!!!! XXX

Chapter 28: Lady Danbury's Ball

Summary:

The ball with promise of a lesson.

Notes:

I have no words to express my apologies for this taking an eternity to get out!

I hope you enjoy!

Let me know your thoughts belowwwww!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dearest Gentle Reader,

Who knew that this season would begin with such shocking news.

This author has been around a long time and has known that not everyone is how they seem, but some members of the ton are more shocking than others. If you had told me that the elusive Miss Eloise Bridgerton would be walking Hyde Park in the arms of another gentleman, I would have told you to attend church for lying so blatantly.

It seems as though this author can be wrong. Savour that phrase, dear reader, because you shall not hear it very often–if ever again.

To bask in this shocking news of Miss Eloise Bridgerton courting the widow, Sir Phillip Crane, this author expects to see the young couple happily dancing many a time at the first ball of the season hosted by Lady Agatha Danbury. Perhaps by then the sour face of Eloise Bridgerton's protective oldest brother, Lord Anthony Bridgerton, will have eased into the idea that his sister is indeed a flower in bloom.

As always I shall keep you informed, and who knows, perhaps we shall hear wedding bells before the season is at its peak?

Yours,

Lady Whistledown

"They are in love, Anthony," Penelope chuckled, fixing the pins in her red hair as her husband grouched from the other side of the room, "Isn't it better that it is obvious they care?"

Tonight was the first ball of the season, hosted by Agatha Danbury, and as always the Bridgerton's had been invited. Anthony desperately didn't want to go and due to his agitated mood, he was picking on anyone and anything to take his anger out on. Lady Whistledown's latest article seemed to be in his line of fire the last hour as they got ready.

When Penelope picked up the latest Whistledown and read it aloud while he got ready, he grumbled with each phrase and started going off about how if Lady Whisledown can see all of it then they need to not make it so obvious that they are infatuated with one another .

"Not at the expense of her reputation." Anthony entered their bedroom, trying to fix his cravat but was in desperate need of help seeing as his anger was making his hands shake uncontrollably. This damn ball was making everything seem like the most annoying occurrence of the entire world. "When I agreed to their union–"

"Not that he was asking." Penelope muttered under her breath, which Anthony just refused to acknowledge.

"I expected that he would have had more care for her reputation and wellbeing" Anthony huffed and threw his hands in the air, thoroughly finished with his stubborn cravat that wouldn't do what it was supposed to.

"Neither of them seem to mind the fuss and noise of gossips, which I for one find admirable. Phillip has never been one to listen to the buzz, especially when Marina was alive."

It had been a long and hard road but one that Penelope knew she had to take. It was the road that made her face her past choices when it came to Marina.

I think he has indeed some idea of her happiness, darling." Penelope walked over to her husband and looked up at him with a knowing smile, "You are just in one of your moods again. It will pass and you will once again be able to enjoy the hustle and bustle of the crowds at Lady Danbury's ball."

Anthony pouted like a child.

"I have never enjoyed such parties and balls . It is a waste of everyone's time." Anthony grunted, neck craned upwards so Penelope could finish tying the fabric. "I mean, who wants to be thrust into a room with hundreds of people just staring at you constantly, when all you know they want is to dig for news about your wealth and the latest scandal. Unoriginal and pathetic."

"Excellent use of Hyacinth's new vocabulary words, darling." Penelope chuckled and Anthony glared down at her.

Hyacinth was growing up faster than any of them could have time to blink and Anthony wanted to savour as much time with his younger siblings before life changed for them all. As a means to spend that extra time with her, he decided that he would help her with some of her studies–those of which he had decent knowledge on. Spelling and speech was one of their favourites.

Each week Hy would choose twenty words from the dictionary and they would have to use them in conversations to get better acquainted with said words. Along with writing sentences and poetry of course. Not only was it something they both enjoyed, it was turning Hyacinth into quite the scholar. Violet was so happy to see that Hyacinth had her big brother to guide her.

Pen loved when Hyacinth would come and show her some of her words and sentences her and Anthony had worked through. It was so special that Hyacinth wanted to hear what she had to say and Penelope would always be greatly surprised by how well they were coming along. Ant was pretty impressed with himself too some days, coming in the room with a cheesy grin that told all who didn't ask of his success.

Now Anthony appreciated the way his wife was mocking him, but that mostly had to do with the fact that he was just grouchy today.

"You are missing the point."

"No, I'm not. You just do not want to be around Agatha because she scares you." Penelope giggled and patted the cravat to let him know she was finished tying it.

Anthony looked down at her in shock.

"I am afraid of no one."

His wife nodded with mock belief. "Of course, my apologies. I just thought that the paleness in your cheeks whenever she is near had to do with your terror, that is all–"

"Penelope Bridgerton." Anthony swept her up in his arms and placed her on the edge of the bed where he started to tickle her relentlessly. Her adorable giggles filled his heart and she was calling telling him to stop but they both knew she didn't mean it, "Are you mocking me, dear wife?"

"No-o." She was gasping through the laughter, trying to push his hands away, "I w-would never."

"Just to clarify, your dashing husband is afraid of no man."

"Lady Danbury is a woman–Anthony!" She squealed in delight when his onslaught of tickles continued.

Soon, Anthony pinned Penelope down with his body on top of hers. She sighed with relief that his tickles had stopped, but there was still that occasional chuckle that slipped past her lips.

Penelope looked up at him with more love and adoration than he deserved. His eyes softened and he moved his fingers to brush the soft skin of her cheek, almost feathersoft. Penelope smiled up at him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"I love you. Pen." He smiled, knowing that in his heart, he would never stop being in awe of his wife.

"I love you, Anthony.

This was bliss, perfection.

"Have I told you that you look beautiful today?" Anthony traced the upper bodice of her blush pink gown, sewn with delightful little rosebuds on them–nothing like the old dresses that he knew she hated, even if Anthony did love seeing her in them. He was convinced she was stunning no matter what she wore. Especially when she wore nothing at all.

That adorable giggle.

"At least once an hour, Anthony."

Anthony feigned horror, "I have been slacking. You deserve to hear such words from your husband at least once every half hour at least."

This time they both laughed.

They were comfortable with one another, and had gotten into the habit of following the rules they had set so long ago. Anthony never failed to place a kiss on her lips every morning and night, and they had tea together, shared meals with the family and he always called her my darling .

Though they were both happy and in love, that didn't make it any easier to see Colin the way he was. Anthony had tried to talk to him but Benedict had told him that was not a good idea. Colin shared meals whenever he could, but the spark in his eyes was visibly fading and pretty soon, they feared he would do something drastic. Although he ached, it was nice to see him enjoying the company of two people in particular; Edwina Sharama and Phillip Crane.

Benedict often saw the easy conversation that flitted between Edwina and Colin, and had moments where he felt as though his shoulders could ease knowing his brother could at least had a moment respite where he wasn't in the pits of despair. Phillip seemed to be a saving grace also. The two were close and on many occasions Eloise had to shove Colin out of the room just so she could have a private word–or that is at least what she was calling it–with her fiance.

On one occasion Penelope had spoken to him–or tried to–and they both left hurt. Colin actually admitted to being in love with her.

"I love you. I always have and it kills me inside knowing that you are seated at our dinner table, that you carry the name Bridgerton, that you hold one of my mothers rings on your perfect finger and yet it was not me who made those things possible. Penelope I–"

"Colin, stop, please." Penelope had tears streaming down her cheeks, much like he did.

He looked broken.

"You make it sound so easy." He croaked, "You make it sound like I can just turn around and not think of you the way I do. That I can instantly stop thinking of you as more than my sister. Damn it, Pen, you are my sister by law!"

She gulped.

"I see you with him–I know what you do with him–my brother! And it breaks my heart." He sobbed, "You are happy and that is all that should matter. I just wished I could be the one to make you happy."

"I don't know what I can say to make this any better for you, Colin." Penelope wanted nothing more than to give him some relief from the horrid feeling of unrequited love. As she had been in a similar situation, she knew the despair that came with this.

Colin laughed. He laughed!

"You have always been so good, Pen. Too bad it took losing you to see that."

"But I am not lost." Penelope said.

"You are to me."

Penelope didn't know what to say. He looked her deep in the eyes and she knew the next thing he was going to say was going to break them both. Colin leaned against the bookshelf behind him with his closed eyes skyward.

"Pen, I cannot be your friend." Silent tears fell down his cheeks. "A friend does not think about another friend the way I think about you. I am hurting us all and I cannot jeopardise yours and Anthony's happiness by being your friend."

The air seemed to leave the room in a woosh.

"I'm sorry." Was the last thing he said before he left the room.

Penelope had been inconsolable that night. Anthony just held her as she sobbed in his arms.

Her tears were not because she loved him, they were because she cared about him and it hurt her to see his pain. It was the damn what ifs and the look in his eyes that she knew would haunt her. Colin was her friend, but that very night, that had ended.

"My love?" Anthony broke her from her transe.

"Hm?" She tried to close herself off so Anthony wouldn't worry about her.

"I am sorry, my love."

Penelope saw the doubts in his eyes and so she drew him closer to kiss her.

"I chose you, Anthony." She whispered against his lips. "I will always choose you."

His grip on her tightened and he kissed her back with just as much passion as she was offering, if not more. Neither of them wanted Colin to hurt, but that did not mean that that should affect the love they have for each other. How badly they wanted to make it better for him.

"I chose you, Penelope. As long as we both shall live." Anthony whispered into the sensitive flesh under her ear, which caused her to shiver.

Warmth spread through her whole body as his breath caressed her and his lips whispered soft touches on her neck. It was intoxicating and Pen sighed happily. Penelope was no means perfect, but neither was he–but glory that tongue was about damn close to perfect.

"Anthony." Penelope whispered a moan.

"Say my name again, my love." Anthony seemed to have been charged with a new spark and trailed his lips lower to the top of her dress where her breasts peaked up the most delicious view. Anthony had this fascination with her breasts, but she was not complaining. They had grown much more sensitive over the past few days.

"Anthony." She repeated when he nipped the tops of her bosom. "Anthony, you'll leave a mark."

A sliver or urgency flooded Anthony. The thought of others seeing her marked by him caused the most intense form of hunger in him. Her neck. Her chest. Her shoulders–oh he was getting aroused just thinking about it.

"I'll be careful." Anthony smirked.

"We still have to be at the ball." Penelope tried to reason but her husband was not cupping her breast over her nice dress.

"Why don't we skip the ball this time and stay here all night long?" Anthony posed it jokingly but he was deathly serious. He wanted to finish what he started and never stop, but he had a feeling that Penelope would not be as agreeable.

"Anthony!" Penelope swatted his arm, blushing furiously, all while trying to push him off but he wouldn't budge. In fact he only seemed to grow heavier on her. Anthony was not a small man so his weight on hers was one heavy burden–but when he was on top of her while he showed her love it was–

"Please, my love. I will give you another lesson and I promise that you–"

"Anthony, you are just trying to get out of going. No, if anything, let's keep an eye on your sister." Penelope finally managed to get Anthony off of her, not very willingly, she might add. She saw the grouchiness return and so stood between his legs and gave him a tender kiss. She honestly would have loved to stay home with him and fulfil all of his lessons, but she desperately needed to talk with DAphne.

Daphne and Simon hardly ever came to balls anymore so this was her shot to go to her without it causing suspicion from her husband. "If you promise to behave, and not be silly then I would love to learn a new lesson from you, darling."

That perked him up right away.

Soon they were happily in the carriage and Anthony had a fresh kick in his step. She blushed to think what exactly he had in mind, but anything with him was perfect so it really was no matter. The way he was so patient with her and stilled her insecurities, he always made her feel beautiful. Never rushed her, always made sure she was comfortable–even to the point where she had to tell him that she was not a delicate plate that would shatter, and to fuck her harder.

The look on his face that evening.

"One hour, max." Anthony said when they pulled up in front of the house.

Pen laughed, "five hours max–"

"Five?!"

"Two hours minimum–"

"Minimum?!" He looked as though his eyes would bulge from his head.

"I shall not tease you so much, my love. You can surely wait to bed me then–"

"No bed this lesson, my dear." Pen's eyes grew wide and Anthony looked feral, "I plan on having my wife on another surface, or should I say surfaces. The plural is necessary."

Her cheeks were surely the same colour as her dress.

"W-we should go in soon." Pen stuttered.

"Of course." Anthony smirked, delighted to know that she was just as aroused as he was at the thought.

As soon as they entered the ballroom, the chuckles of tittering gossips and boisterous laughter filled their ears much too did the sound of the band playing the next round, a quadril. It didn't take long before Violet approached them with Benedict on her arm.

"Glad you could make it, brother." Benedict said innocently.

Anthony glared and pinned on a smile for the sake of Violet who gave him a look.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss the chance to keep an eye on our dear sister." Anthony took note to gaze around the room.

Violet would have rolled her eyes if there were not so many people watching them. It was a trouble sometimes being observed so closely by the ton, but it was a burden she never would trade. In Violet's eyes, her family deserved to be seen for the splendour they all were, not their title–but if it took a title for people to see, at least they were looking.

"Eloise is by the drinks table with Miss Edwina." Violet said.

"Colin seems to find it rather important that he be in conversation also." Benedict smirked as if he knew a secret the rest didn't. Though none of them could linger on the statement before Violet saw Lady Danbury coming their way.

Anthony and Benedict moved to leave with haste but Agatha whacked her cane on their floor.

"I already saw you." She said, smiling in victory.

"Lady Danbury, what a delight to see you." Anthony said and bowed his head.

"Ha, no need to lie to me, Lord Bridgerton, I am well aware of where your delights lay." Agatha winked at Penelope who blushed wildly. Benedict pinched his lips together to keep from laughing. "Now, I am yet to see you on the dancefloor Mr Bridgerton."

Benedict winced. Up until that point it had gone unnoticed by Violet but of course Agatha saw that he needed to be punished for trying to escape. Violet turned to her second son and gave him a look, but he played the charm.

"I did not think it fair when the only woman I wished to dance with was unavailable. In fact she does not even seem to be wearing a dance card."

All eyes flew to him. What a bold statement. Lady Danbury's eyebrows rose to her hairline.

"Who is this mystery debutant, Mr Bridgerton? I will see that she has a card immediately so you may claim her dances."

"I would be most grateful, but I fear you may not wish me to take up all your dances, Lady Danbury."

There was a blink of confusion before Lady Danbury laughed heartily. Penelope began to laugh as she understood what Ben had been insinuating, and pretty soon all of them were laughing. Lady Danbury gave him a playful tap with her cane.

"Charmer." She laughed.

Benedict grabbed at his chest with mock hurt.

"I am insulted."

"Perhaps I shall help you get over your hurt by showing you to more eligible gentlewomen." Lady Danbury said, a clear indication for him to follow her so he may introduce her to some women. He hid his clear pain behind a smile, "I am sure many debutants would be pleased to have you on their dance card."

Ben was led away against his will, but Anthony could not find it in him to have much sympathy. Pen on the other hand, knew that benedict would rather be doing anything else than thrust onto the dancefloor with some uninteresting and intelligent woman who laughed at all of his jokes just because she saw the money and and not the man.

"How are you, my dear?" Violet asked Penelope when Ben was out of sight.

"Well, thank you." Penelope responded smiling.

"How is Portia? I heard she was ill of late." Violet asked, a frown of concern.

"Yes, I visited just yesterday and she is on the mend. Phillipa is staying with her until she is fully recovered, which shall be in no time I am sure. Though sickness could not sway her from our days of tea," Penelope chuckled, "I must admit that my mother has been rather taxing of late, but not in the way that she once was. I prefer to lay my head down at night knowing my exhaustion comes from those who love me rather than those who despise me."

Violet smiled kindly. Penelope had a hard life growing up with two parents who were not there for her in a way parents should. There had been many times where Violet had been the one to console the little girl in yellow dresses because Penelope had been mistreated by her family. The behaviour was unacceptable but Violet was in no place to do anything about it, except take the little girl under her wing and make sure that she was showered with love whenever she was with the Bridgerton's.

It had made Violet so happy to see the change in Portia–a genuine change and not one that was for show. But Pen was convinced that no one could have been happier than herself. Having a mother who loved her and actually complimented her, who had tea with her just because she could, and a mother who would kiss her bye while saying I love you. Pen always knew her mother loved her, in her own strange way, but now to feel the love that Eloise, Colin, Anthony and all of the Bridgerton children spoke of with their mother, was her story now too.

"I am happy for you, dearest. Please pass on my wishes of a quick recovery next tea time."

"Of course–"

"Pen!" Eloise came rushing over, most unladylike–much to the horror of her mother and even Anthony. El didn't seem to care one bit, "Pen!"

Penelope was holding back a squeal of delight at the sight of her. She wanted nothing more than to steal her friend away and hear all the latest updates from her fiance, just as they had been doing the latest weeks after Sir Phillip's private proposal. El hid no details and even continued to share her most untoward dreams, but Pen listened–ears beetroot red–and giggled along with all that Eloise shared. There was something about hearing her friend, the very one who refused to marry, fall in love. And the same for Phillip. You must be truly blind not to see that Phillip was a man in love. And it didn't take a genius to find out were that lovestruck gaze was pointing at.

"El!" Penelope couldn't help but giggle.

"You made it. I must speak with you–"

"Hello, dear sister. It is lovely to see you too."

Eloise glared at her brother, "Cut the pleasantries, I am here for Penelope." Eloise gripped Pen's hand ready to haul her away from Anthony.

"Can I not share at least one dance with my wife before you take her away from me?" Anthony took her other hand with authority.

El rolled her eyes. "I would not even have to ask permission to steal her away anymore if you had not stolen her in the first place–"

"She is my wife."

"She is my best friend."

"She can hear you." Penelope said but was ignored.

"Husband outranks best friend."

"Only in your dull mind–"

"Eloise." Mother chided but was also ignored. Violet saw her oldest daughter walk through the door with her husband and tried to change the topic, "Oh look, there is Daphne–"

"You get to spend all your time with her anyways, so why not let me have some time–"

"I try to have time with my wife but I am always battling for her attention because I happen to have a family who adores her, as they should, but that doesn't mean that I appreciate not getting to have her to myself every blue moon." Anthony grouched, tugged his wife's arm closer to himself.

"You get so much time with her–"

Penelope was reaching breaking point. She loved them both so much but she needed this to end.

"Enough." Pen said to both of them, "People are starting to stare."

The siblings looked around discreetly and saw that Penelope was right. There were a few onlookers

"Eloise, would you please let me have one dance with Anthony? I promise to come right to you and you can tell me all about your promenade with Sir Phillip." Penelope offered diplomatically.

El knew that Penelope loved Anthony–even if she still doubted that Anthony deserved her love–so she saw that it was understandable why she would want a dance with him first, but that didn't make it any more agitating that she had to wait to share her news with her best friend.

"Fine, but I intend to keep you the rest of the night." Eloise smiled to let Penelope know that she was only slightly joking.

Before Anthony could argue with his younger sister again , Penelope tugged Anthony to the dancefloor where the waltz had started oddly enough. They took their stance and began as the music started. Anthony hated dancing, so it made her wonder why he would have made such a big deal about it with Eloise, until she realised that he was just jealous of her time. Ant wanted time with her and that wasn't a crime.

"Did I go too far?" Anthony cringed.

"Not if your intention was to make Eloise very upset with you. No, you achieved your goal, I'm certain." Penelope smirked at him and he laughed.

"My witty wife."

"My handsome husband." Pen giggled.

"For a moment I suspected you would have called me something else entirely, especially after that stunt I just pulled." Anthony laughed.

"No, my love. Those words were on my mind when you got after the footman for staring too long at my bosoms even though he was only doing his job–"

His face was red with rage from the memory.

"It is not his job to stare at my wife."

"You do not pay him to stare at me, correct, but he was helping me from the carriage and making sure my foot placement would not have me tumbling onto the gravel, not staring down my dress like you so bluntly do when you think others are not watching." Penelope gave him a pointed look as if to tell him to just try and deny it.

Anthony's ears were red with embarrassment but he needed to play it off like it was his intent for her to catch him gawking and salivating over her large breasts. He had many ways to play this, but only a select few would not have him skinned.

"Darling, I do not care who sees me admiring how blessed you were when the gods carved your body." Anthony licked his lips as he took a glance down when the dance drew them together.

It was Pen's turn to blush.

"Anthony." She warned.

"Yes, my love." Lust sparked his eyes.

"You promised." Pen glared, pink cheeked.

"Yes, yes, two hours, I know." Anthony rolled his eyes, which seemed to align perfectly with the last note of the waltz.

Both of them turned to clap at the band in thanks, but that was when Penelope spotted Colin…on the dancefloor, with none other than Edwina Sharma. Pen's eyes bulged from her head at the sight of them, but she did not say anything. Her eyes snapped back to Anthony who had not yet seen that his brother had just partaken in one of the most intimate dances a couple can dance.

Soon, Anthony led them off the dancefloor and to the drinks table. Before Anthony could even give her a drink, they were ambushed by Eloise who took Pen's hand with a swift thank you and swept her into a private room–well, as private as possible.

"Eloise, was that really necessary–"

"Pall Mall." Eloise whispered, cutting through time and reality.

"What?" Penelope was confused.

Eloise gulped and began wringing her hands nervously, "Do you remember the day after your wedding?"

How could she forget? It was one of the worst days of her life. It was a day that had started out incredible, until Benedict and Eloise had walked in on her and her husband. Only minutes later she found out that her beloved cousin had died and Penelope had then blurted out that she was Lady Whistledown to those she loved.

"Yes. Why is that–"

"Do you remember the way Ben and I found you that morning?" Eloise was blushing but nowhere near as hard as Penelope.

Again; how could she forget? Anthony had been so close to bringing her to that peak of pleasure that she had only discovered, with the helping hand and mouth of Anthony, the night before. Right before she reached the point of no return, Benedict and Eloise had barged through the dining room doors like wild elephants.

"Ehem, yes."

"I thought he was hurting you." Eloise was still wringing her hands, "But then you had tried to explain as…delicately as possible what my brother had been helping you see."

Penelope was hot all over while Eloise shuddered at the thought of her friend and her brother in marital relations. She was happy for her friend, but that was still her brother–yuck.

"I remember."

"You explained that the pleasure you were feeling was similar to the feeling one gets when they want to shout after winning Pall Mall ." El started to fling her hands around in gestures. Penelope gripped her friend's hand mostly to stop her from accidentally hitting her in the face.

"That was all I could come up with without sharing–" Penelope stopped herself and was glad she did when she saw the disgusted look on Eloise's face, "What does this have to do with anything, El?"

"When you described that feeling, I knew exactly what you were talking about; the victory, the joy, the pleasure of beating someone…" El looked to her feet, hands still in Penelope's, "Pen, Pall Mall can not even compare to the pleasures that Phillip has made me feel. I feel as though I am tasting the golden droplets of sun, that I could scream from satisfaction alone, as if his touch alone is all that is keeping the earth on its axis. Phillip makes me feel…incredible."

A moment had never been so silent, that even the candles that illuminated the drawing room stilled to wait for Penelope's reaction. Eloise looked at her friend's face with bated breath, wanting nothing more than for her friend to blink or show just any sign of understanding.

Eloise didn't have to wait too long before Penelope started speaking.

"El, am I to understand that…what you witnessed all those months ago between myself and Anthony…" How was she going to word this? "...you have had that same experience with your betrothed ?"

Actions spoke louder than words and Eloise's fiery blush was enough to confirm Pen's suspicions.

"Eloise Bridgerton!" Penelope whispered frantically, looking around the empty room to see if anyone was around.

El jumped slightly, "I know–I just…"

"Eloise, was this just another one of your dreams?" Oh she hoped so, because Anthony would have her head if it wasn't, "Because you have been overseen by so many of your siblings–these activities you claim happened couldn't be true because for that to be true you would have to be alone together, unchaperoned–"

"I believe alone together insinuates that we were unchaperoned." Eloise interrupted.

"Sir Phillip is a gentleman." Pen whispered harshly.

Eloise bit her lip sheepishly, having a flashback of how very ungentlemanly he was while he kissed her vigorously.

Just like her dreams, Phillip stood tall, with that dashing smirk on his face. His eyes sparkled with promise and one that El hoped was similar to the wish she had made weeks ago. Only hours after his visit to Number Five and midway through their promenade, Eloise was led off to a hiding corner while their chaperon–Hyacinth–was bribed by Phillip to walk the other way and cause havoc so the maid would follow Hy and not the lovestruck couple.

Pretty soon Eloise was backed up against a tree, far hidden from the ton and gasping as her betrothed enveloped her in a heartstopping kiss. Eloise had never been kissed before and was rather slow on how to keep up, but soon she relaxed and let herself be led by her partner.

It didn't take long for Eloise's imagination to get the better of her and her dreams came floating back into her mind.

"Phillip." She moaned against his lips.

Sir Phillip moved back and smiled down at her with that handsome tweak of his lips.

"My name on your lips is pure honey." Phillip ran the pad of his thumb gently over her swollen lips, "I should very much like to taste them again if you are willing."

"Willing." She moaned, "very, very willing."

A chuckle as dark as the pond after a storm and as warm as the comforting heat of the fire. Phillip was in perfect balance with the sun and the moon–both day and night. He wasted little time diving back in and kissing her heartily. Eloise had no objections.

"You tease me so, my flower." Phillip whispered into the soft flesh of her cheek, slowly kissing towards her ear. El was known for having sensitive ears in the family–they often turned red whenever she was embarrassed and they were her most ticklish area on her whole body.

Eloise shivered.

"That note you sent me had me aroused for hours and thinking about how I was going to make you mine." Phillip nipped her ear causing her to gasp and grip his lapel tighter in her grasp. That sinful chuckle, "I wanted so badly to make that dream come true for you and now I can, only if you say the word."

Eloise felt as though she would never be able to say another word ever again.

"Phillip, please." El moaned, when his lips trailed lower, igniting a fire in her body.

Phillip pulled away.

"Tell me, my flower, what do you want? What do you crave?" The way he said crave made her shiver.

"You."

"Me, what?" He was all serious, "How do you want me?"

Phillip would never take advantage of a woman, no matter how desperate he was. Phillip waited eagerly for his betrothed to consent before he laid another finger on her. This was going to be a choice not a dictatorship.

"Phillip, I want you to kiss me, to hold me–to do everything that I have ever dreamed–starting with what you read in that letter–ohhhh."

"Quiet, my flower, we don't want anyone to hear us." Phillip chuckled against the skin of the tops of her breasts. Oh it felt so good. His warm breath against her chilled skin.

"Phillip–uhhghhggg–"

"Like this?" His body was pressed against hers so she was caged between the tree. Never had it felt so magical to be trapped. His weight on her body was heavenly–even more so than when she sought her own pleasure.

Soon Phillip had her grinding against his thigh, panting like the air supply was running out and only Phillip could bring it back by helping her seek her peak.

"Phillip. Ph-phillip–oh my go–ughhh."

"You're almost there, my flower, just chase that feeling. It is just within reach, isn't it?" Phillip whispered into her ear right before he kissed the pulsepoint right below her ear. She gasped again, eyes wide at the devine sensation. Phillip saw that she was right on the edge and grinded himself forward which tipped her over, singing his name.

"Phillip. Philip. Phillip! Ughhhhh!" Eloise thought she had cum before by her own hand, but how naive she was. That was childsplay–this was what dreams were made of. "Phillip–my god ohhh! Yes! Phillip!"

Eloise was getting louder so Phillip kissed her hungrily, devouring every moan of his name and every cry of pleasure, until she had ridden out her first orgasm.

"Everyday, my blossom." Phillip whispered into her hair, "You will feel that everyday if you wish when we are married."

"Eloise. Eloise!" Pen whisper shouted to get her friend's attention. "Tell me that your imagination just got the better of you and Sir Phillip did not take advantage of you–"

"Phillip did not do anything that I didn't ask for." Eloise jumped to defend him.

Pen's face softened, "Eloise, please do not hear me saying that I have lost any respect for Sir Phillip, I am only concerned. A step like this is what could have you walking down the isle dripping in scandal…" Pen froze and looked her friend up and down, "Unless…that is exactly what you want?"

"No! I am not looking for a hasty marriage, I just am so in love with him it is impossible to keep him at arm's length, especially when all I can dream about it him kissing every inch of my body as I call his name," Eloise did not notice her friend blushing, "Surely you must know what untamed passion feels like."

True.

"El, I love you very much, and I am so very glad that Sir Phillip loves you too. My only hope is that you will be careful and that you will…at least be discrete?"

It took Eloise a moment to decipher that Penelope was not encouraging them to stop their spurts of passion–quite the opposite–she was encouraging them to not be caught in the act. El's neck snapped up to meet her friend's mischievous gaze.

"Are you…are you serious?" El asked.

"Anthony is going on a trip this weekend, much to his dismay," Pen rolled her eyes humorously, "but that leaves the house with just one chaperone…"

Letting the sentence hang, Eloise pierced together the rest.

"Penelope, you truly are the best of friends!"

"It is a burden." Penelope feigned exhaustion.

Both women giggled as if they were young girls again, chuckling about silly matters such as dolls and fairytales, now they had both found their princes and were set on keeping them. They spoke for a long time before Penelope remembered that she needed to speak with Daphne.

"El, I need to speak with someone, but could you please find Phillip and inform him of my invitation? Discreetly of course."

El was all too happy when it came to Phillip. She was delighted when it came to that man and Penelope could not help but smile at the joy he brought her friend.

When Penelope re-entered the ball room she almost instantly saw Daphne beside Simon, her husband, and they were both talking to Cressida Cowper. Pen debated the chance of going up to them and interrupting, but she would rather not be stuck at the pointy end of an insult with Cressida. That woman was a viper covered in beige and fake diamonds.

Taking a deep breath she decided to venture over there, but luck was on her side because some unlucky gentleman had swept Cressida away as the music started. Pen approached happier now, nervous still, but with more confidence now that the woman who was the sole reason for her nightmares was gone.

Simon whispered something to Daphne and left, but not before placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Penelope, oh how splendid to see you." Daphne took Pen's hands in glee when she saw the redhead approaching.

"And you, Duchess." Pen went to bow but Daph stopped her.

"Please, we are friends and family, surely you can call me Daphne."

"Of course." Pen blushed. There was just so much authority in Daphne and her husband but in such a kind way, it was still hard not to be intimidated.

"How is married life treating you?"

"Your brother makes it easy."

"He can be quite the sourpuss when he is angry. He has not been too moody, I hope." Daph smiled at the joke which caused Pen to laugh.

"Anthony does have his moods, but I love them all the same."

Daphne's smile softened.

"I am glad."

Penelope had not spoken with Daph an awful lot growing up, but that did not mean that Daph had never been as kind and gracious as Violet had when they first met. The eldest daughter always ensured that Penelope was loved and taken care of.

"Are you enjoying the party?" Penelope asked.

"As a married woman and a mother I can honestly tell you that I would rather be at home."

Both women laughed at the truth.

"Do not let Lady Danbury catch you saying that." Pen said, "That woman has ears everywhere."

"I do not doubt it," Daph laughed, "Now, tell me what is troubling you?"

Pen blinked.

"I have known you a long time, Penelope, I know when you are not in your brightest. Is something the matter?"

Pen gulped and drew DAphne further into the back of the ballroom where fewer ears were around to hear.

"Were you ever afraid that you would disappoint your husband?"

It was Daphne's turn to blink.

"At times, yes." She paused, "But Simon reassures me often that I could never disappoint him. Is everything alright with you and Anthony?"

"Yes, yes, Anthony is wonderful." Pen was quick to reassure her, "It is only…I am afraid."

"Of what? Has he done something–"

"No, Anthony has been all that is good and would never harm me," She took a deep breath, "I am worried that I will not be able to have children. My cycles have ceased and I fear that if that has happened this early on in our marriage then…why are you smiling?"

Daphne was smiling from ear to ear, eyes misty with what Penelope thought could be joy. It hurt her that Daphne could find this joyful when she felt so very…nervous and perhaps like a failure.

"The reason your cycles have stopped is not because you cannot have children," Daphne whispered, "It is because you are growing a child now. Penelope, you are pregnant.