Testing Audio -DK Principessa

by kibass91

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48. Here we go again

Summary:

Several months after the birth of his son in 1816, Colin goes to bed and wakes up shortly after his return from Greece around two years previously. After a day of indecision, he decides that there are a few things he's going to try to change, and he's going to need Penelope's help. Together, they navigate the 1814 social season using Colin's knowledge from the next two years.

Colin woke slowly. That alone might have tipped him off that something had changed. Since their son had been born four months ago, Elliot had slept in a bassinet beside the bed Colin shared with Penelope. It wasn't necessarily typical in the ton, especially for fathers, to be so involved in caring for an infant, but Colin relished it. He loved scooping Elliot up and comforting him, bringing him to Penelope if he was hungry, and singing him back to sleep. Even though he had to get up several times each night, Colin wouldn't trade it for anything. But it did mean that for the last several months, his days started early when the small but insistent Lord Featherington demanded his breakfast.

This morning, however, was different. He drifted in and out of consciousness and dozed comfortably until the sunshine was too bright through the curtains. He could not remember the last time he had awoken like that, nor the last time he felt quite so rested.

Once his eyes adjusted to the light, and his mind caught up a bit more, the panic started. He wasn't in the bedchamber he shared with his wife. Elliot wasn't there. Instead, he was in the room he had slept in at Bridgerton House until his marriage about a year ago. He was certain he had fallen asleep in his bed curled around Penelope as always, but now he was here. More to the point, this room had been altered after he moved out. This wasn't just the room that had been his. This was his room as it had been before he moved out. In fact, it seemed that he was in the midst of unpacking, based on the trunks laying around the room and his memory of what it had been like unpacking from his first tour in Greece.

Slowly, Colin stood and looked in the mirror. He was greeted by what he had feared he would see: his own face but with the sparse facial hair he had grown during his time in Greece with the youthfulness that his face had somehow lost during his second tour. He sat back down on the bed. He couldn't have dreamed the past two years. He didn't think his imagination was quite that impressive. He also couldn't say he wasn't terrified. His life had finally come together. His insecurities had become more manageable as he grew into himself with Penelope by his side. He had published a book. He had a wife he loved more than he could have imagined and a son he cherished. And now those years were gone. Elliot was gone. Penelope was more than likely across the street with no idea the love he now had for her. The grief hit him hard and fast, and it took his breath away.

After several minutes dwelling in his sorrow for the life that had somehow been his and now didn't yet seem to be, he decided he might as well continue with his day. He had to figure out exactly when he was and what he was going to do next. He was also desperately hungry. He rang for his valet to help him dress.

Upon greeting his family in the drawing room, it became clear that Colin had awoken later than was typical, but no one was surprised, since he had only returned from Greece the day before. He was glad that eating gave him something to do while he silently observed his family and tried to wrack his brains for what had happened this day. His memory began to crystalize when Anthony insisted that Benedict and Colin both fence with him. He couldn't remember exactly what happened during the bouts, but he did remember chuckling at Anthony as he complained about how difficult Kate was making his efforts to court Edwina. It occurred to him that it would be even harder not to laugh outright now that he knew how Anthony's courtship would go. He wasn't sure what his best course of action was, in part because he still wasn't sure what was going on, but trying to live the day as much as he had two years ago seemed the best place to start.

It was later that evening at Lady Danbury's house that Colin realized two more major flaws in his plan besides his simple inability to remember the details of certain events. The first was that he missed his wife more than he could've thought was possible. The second was that he had done a lot of things during the next several months that had hurt Penelope, and he truly didn't think he could go through with saying the same things that had unintentionally caused her pain now that he knew of her love for him, and he was aware of his own love for her.

As soon as he walked into the room and spotted Penelope, he smiled. While he loved her newer dresses and the confidence with which she now carried herself, he had missed seeing her in yellow. The color matched the fact that she had always been the sunshine in his life. Again, he regretted how much of fool he had been to not see her fully sooner.

Colin remembered that the conversation with Penelope at this event was one of the times he had hurt her because he had been caught in his own head. When he had said that he had sworn off women, but she was Pen, and she didn't count, he had meant that she was in a category of her own and his dearest friend. Maybe he should have realized then how important she was to him, but all he had known at the time was that he wouldn't give up her friendship, despite what he had sworn to himself. He knew now that she had heard it differently than he had intended. To her, it sounded as if he was clarifying that he didn't see her as a woman, and that she was only his friend. As she walked toward him, he knew he wouldn't be able to knowingly hurt her that way again.

When Penelope asked for the name of the young lady he met while out of the country, Colin had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. He turned to her and stammered, "What can you mean?" She clarified that she assumed he met someone, since he had said he was never lonely on his travels. Colin realized that for all Penelope and him had discussed the latter part of this conversation once they were married, he couldn't remember this part at all. He now had some inkling of how mortifying this must've been for Penelope. He stuttered out an answer that was probably similar to what he had said the first time, about getting to know himself again after everything with Marina and inspired by how Penelope saw him. Now that he had spent more time with Penelope and had gotten in the habit of watching her face carefully, he didn't miss the flinch and slightly judgmental look she had. As he quickly thought back on what he had said, he realized that he had made it sound like the conversation he had with someone he didn't know as well as he thought could've been the one he'd had with her through their correspondence until he said the conversation was the one he had with himself. Colin was frustrated he couldn't seem to help slipping into the same thoughtless patterns from two years ago. Finally, they reached the point in the conversation where he knew what he had said previously, and he knew he wouldn't say it the same way again. Continuing with his speech he said, "So, I cleared my head. I swore off women and love, and…Well, I only wanted to fully understand myself before stepping back into this world."

Penelope asked, "You've sworn off women, then?"

Colin couldn't help but notice the building hurt on her face. He could've kicked himself for being so obtuse the first time. Knowing he was deliberately changing things in a way he had avoided so far, he said, "Well, on my travels at least. Now that I'm back, I want to be selective about the women I spend my time with. My family, of course. And you, Pen. You are a woman, clearly, but I could never swear off you. You are special."

The smile Penelope gave him was blinding. Colin reached down to squeeze her elbow but found his thumb lightly stroking the inside of her forearm as they gazed at each other. He cleared his throat and removed his hand before he did something reckless, like kissing Penelope for her first time in the middle of crowded room at Lady Danbury's house. He hadn't yet fully decided what he was going to do about his relationship with Penelope now that he was back here, but he knew kissing her here and now would a bad decision by any standards. He excused himself before he could do anything too scandalous and squeezed her arm one final time as he smiled at her and walked off.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Colin left Lady Danbury's shortly after talking to Penelope. He couldn't face several more hours of trying to act normally. He let his mother and Eloise know he was leaving, and that he was going to walk home, so that they would have the carriage. It was going to be a long walk, but he figured he could use the time to organize his thoughts and just be on his own.

As his mind jumped around while trying to comprehend everything he was going through, he remembered a philosophical discussion he had with a friend of his at Eton. They had been learning about the ideas of free will and determinism and fate. His friend pointed out that all these discussions were irrelevant for how people lived. Whether it was true or not, one had to live as if one had free will. Whether people truly do was a question for philosophers and theologians, but for most people, his friend thought they had to go about their lives as if what they did made a difference, and they had free will. Colin had argued back by quoting Aristotle, but Colin had seen his friend's point. As Colin tried to figure out what to do next, he had to make the best choices he could and hope they would have the outcomes he desired. There really wasn't another choice. He had no idea how this had happened, and he didn't have any way to know if he would ever go back, so he had to live here and now with the knowledge he had.

Colin's heart broke all over again whenever he thought of Elliot. He didn't know enough about philosophy or theology or the science of human reproduction to know if Elliot could come to exist again. He hoped so. He wasn't someone who tended to pray, but he made an exception in this case. He knew he would pray for Elliot to be returned to him every day until he held him in his arms. Until then, Colin would hope that Elliot's existence was fated, while making the best choices he could in this time in which he again found himself.

As Colin saw it, there were a few problems that he was going to face in the coming months. The biggest ethical issue was what to do about Jack Featherington. Letting him swindle money from the ton when Colin knew about it was not something he was able to do. Since he had married Penelope, he had gained some familiarity with the Featherington Estate by helping Lady Featherington and later stewarding the estate on his son's behalf. Because of that, Colin knew the financial situation the Featheringtons were in right now was dire. Simply stopping the current Lord Featherington's scheme would leave Penelope and her family destitute. Colin wasn't willing to do that, but he also wasn't going to let Lord Featherington commit fraud.

Another problem on the horizon was Eloise's reckless behavior that would lead to her being threatened by Queen Charlotte before the season ended. Eloise's near ruination in Lady Whistledown and her conflict with Penelope was also something Colin hoped to avoid, but keeping Eloise safe was going to have to be one of his top priorities.

Colin gave some thought about whether he wanted to interfere in Anthony's courtship with Edwina. Colin didn't have a clear answer to this. Everything had turned out well in the end, but there had been a lot of suffering and scandal to get there. He was afraid that any interference on his part could somehow risk Anthony's eventual marriage to Kate. He didn't want to do that under any circumstances. Kate was perfect for his brother. On the other hand, the pain that Anthony, Kate, and Edwina had all experienced wouldn't be easy to ignore.

The biggest emotional issue was what precisely Colin wanted to do about Penelope. Obviously, he wanted to avoid hurting her as much as he could and help with her family's situation, but that didn't solve what he wanted to happen in their relationship and when. While seeing her had been a balm to his soul, he was also aware that this Penelope wasn't quite his Penelope. This version of Penelope hadn't given him the dressing down he deserved outside of Lady Danbury's ball in 1815. This version of Penelope hadn't been the right combination of sad and brave enough to ask him for a kiss outside her family's house. This version of Penelope hadn't yelled at him after he ruined her proposal from Lord Debling before breathlessly admitting she wanted to be more than friends just a few minutes later. This version of Penelope hadn't outmaneuvered the queen and Cressida and publicly admitted to being Lady Whistledown. If Colin achieved what he hoped, Penelope wouldn't have to do many of these things, but her remarkable bravery and determination in all these situations were part of who she had become by the time Elliot was born.

The difference between the Penelope of 1816 and the Penelope of 1814 wasn't stark enough to make them completely different either. The Penelope of here and now had already written the letters that had helped Colin integrate his understanding of her with the persona of Lady Whistledown. The Penelope of here and now had already been his very closest friend, and if he were honest with himself, Colin had been more than half in love with her by the time he returned from Greece, despite his continued preoccupation with Lady Crane. He didn't worry about whether or not he could love this Penelope, since he already did and always had, but Colin was concerned that he could hurt her in a different way by expecting her to be exactly like the Penelope he had known in 1816.

One thing was apparent as Colin went back over the issues he would face with Jack Featherington and Eloise and possibly Anthony. He needed Penelope's help. He wanted her advice about Anthony and Eloise because he appreciated her insight about human relationships and her understanding of Eloise. For the problem of Lord Featherington, Colin literally couldn't see how he could solve this problem without input from Penelope and her knowledge of what was going on. The only way for that to work was for him to be honest with her about what he knew and how he knew it. More than anything else, he needed Penelope as a friend and ally. He needed someone he could trust who could help him figure out what to do.

The longer Colin walked, the more certain he was that he was going to have to tell Penelope that he had traveled back in time. It wasn't going to be easy, and he wasn't sure how much detail he should go into, both about his future knowledge and their relationship in 1816. Those details he could figure out later, but he knew that he was going to tell her at least part of the truth. Not only did he need her help, but he couldn't imagine pretending to be someone he wasn't for two whole years. He couldn't comprehend keeping this secret completely to himself, and there was no one he trusted more than Penelope.

This led Colin to think about some of the more practical concerns he had with how and when to try to deepen their relationship. Obviously, Penelope's feelings on the matter were going to have a large impact on what he did, but there were other issues as well. If he started courting her now, it would give a reason for him to be spending so much time with her. If she was willing to help him, courting would explain why he called on her, promenaded with her, and spoke to her so often. Perhaps, he could even have her come to Aubrey Hall early like the Sharmas, though he wasn't sure that was wise. Colin's only concern was that if they were officially courting, there might be more attention paid to their conversations than there had been in the 1814 that he had lived through. He still remembered with some combination of frustration and amusement when Lady Featherington had finally bothered to chaperone him with Penelope after their betrothal, while unbeknownst to any of them, the new Lord Featherington had already been conceived. Having never truly courted Penelope, he was unsure how insistent their families would be on close supervision if they were officially courting. If the only goal were to be able to spend as much time alone with Penelope as possible, convincing her to marry him as soon as he could made the most sense, but he wasn't sure if that would help or hinder his efforts to interfere in Jack Featherington's scheme. Marrying her would get her away from Jack Featherington and her mother and make Penelope's personal financial situation secure, but it might be harder to find out what Lord and Lady Featherington were doing without Penelope physically being in Featherington House to observe.

With all these thoughts circling in his head, Colin finally approached Bridgerton House. He had been walking a long time, and he could tell from which candles were lit in which windows that everyone else had already returned and retired for the night. The Featherington House looked much the same way, but he noticed that a candle was still burning in Penelope's bedroom window. With an air of determination, Colin changed direction and headed toward Featherington House.

Notes:

For those who are curious, Colin's slow waking followed by panic in chapter 1 is inspired by my experience waking up the first time my baby slept through the night. My baby was just fine, but waking slowly to the sun streaming in my window was such an unusual experience that my first fully conscious thought was that something had to be wrong.

The conversation Colin recalls from Eton is inspired by something a friend of mine in high school used to say when these types of topics came up. I've since studied enough philosophy and theology to know that it's a simplistic argument, but Colin is indeed recalling something an arrogant teenager said to him, and he really has nothing else to go on. He's just going to assume he's stuck in the past but able to change things and go from there. He'll hold that in tension with the hope that Elliot's existence is fated/determined/preordained/etc.

I absolutely adore time travel fics, but many of them for this pairing seem to have Colin or Pen go back to Season 1, often to deal with the Marina situation differently. I admire the desire to give Marina an HEA, since I have quite a bit of sympathy for her, but I wanted to do something a bit different. I think the Marina situation is formative for both Colin and Penelope in the show, especially for Pen and her choices about Lady Whistledown. I also think the letters exchanged between them in between the first and second seasons deepen their friendship a great deal from what we see in the first season. I didn't want to take those things away from them.

So far I've written everything from Colin's POV, including the next chapter, but I'd be interested what any of you think about switching to Pen's POV on occasion. I haven't decided yet. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Colin wasn't quite sure what he was doing. He worried this was a terrible idea, but he just couldn't face the idea of having to go more than a year without Penelope by his side. The idea of keeping this secret from her for two years was simply impossible to comprehend. He also, perhaps selfishly, needed her assistance. He hoped she would use her cleverness to help him figure out what do about Jack Featherington and Eloise and perhaps even the queen. Penelope might have some good ideas about what to do about Anthony, too. Colin still hadn't quite figured out what he wanted to say to her yet, or how much he should tell her, but he knew he needed to confide at least part of it to someone, and there was no one he trusted more than Penelope.

And so, with very little idea what he was going to do once he got there, Colin walked as quietly and quickly as he could toward Featherington House. He arrived at the servants' entrance and faced his first decision about how to go about this. Everyone besides the servants seemed to have retired for the night, but he needed to find a way to speak privately to Penelope. He could throw pebbles at her window to try to get her to come down. He knew Eloise had done this in the past, so there was a good chance that Penelope would look out her window when she heard the noise, but there was always the worry that she wouldn't hear or would refuse to come down. He could try to sneak into the house, since he knew the floorplan quite well by now. It still ran the risk he'd get caught, and Penelope might scream before he was able to calm her down and explain why he was barging into her bedchamber in the middle of the night. He didn't think Rae was yet working for the Featheringtons, which was a shame, since he knew she could be trusted to make rational decisions with Penelope's best interests at heart. After weighing his options, he settled on tossing pebbles and hoping that Penelope would be willing to sneak down to see him.

Colin needn't have worried. While Penelope had agreed earlier today with his statement that she wasn't a devotee of mystery, as soon as she leaned out her window in her nightgown and saw him urgently beckoning her down, her curiosity wouldn't allow her to ignore him. Her raised eyebrows made clear how desperately she was trying to figure out why he was there. His heart gave a jolt when she nodded without saying a word and turned to come down to him.

A few minutes later, Penelope appeared. Colin was disappointed that she was now in a robe, but her hair was loose, as he preferred it. Seeing her up close, he realized quite how difficult it was going to be to get through this conversation without touching her in a way that would make her uncomfortable. He again wondered if he should have thought this through in more detail before he changed direction and headed here, but the idea of waiting to confide in Penelope was too much to bear. As she walked toward him, he held his index finger up to his lips to be quiet and led her to the garden behind the house. He sat down on the bench where he had once apologized to her, at least in his memory.

Penelope didn't sit down but stood in front of him, putting them at close to eye level.

"Colin, what are you doing here?" Penelope kept her voice down, but she sounded confused and a bit annoyed. Her hands were on her hips in the way she did when she thought he was being ridiculous. Colin couldn't help but smile at her before sobering.

"I needed to talk to you urgently about something rather delicate, and I couldn't figure out another way to avoid interruption. Perhaps, I should have waited until the morning, but then I wasn't sure how I would get you truly alone."

"But what if someone sees us out here?" Her eyes darted around as if trying to find anyone spying on them, and she swallowed nervously.

Colin sighed. There was really only one answer, but he had hoped to avoid mentioning it, at least in these circumstances. "Well, I would marry you, of course. I would not have come here at this time of night if I wasn't willing to protect your reputation. You are too special to me to think of doing otherwise."

Penelope finally sat down. She looked stunned by what he said, and she blushed, but her furrowed brow gave away that she was also deep in thought. She must have realized that whatever he wanted to speak to her about must be quite important indeed. Colin could admit to himself that him implying he was willing to marry her just to have this conversation was quite a statement, especially from her perspective.

Taking her silence as an invitation to continue, Colin said, "Pen, there is something I need to confide in you, and I admit that it will sound unbelievable, but you are my closest friend. I cannot imagine keeping it from you or navigating this without your help. Perhaps, it would be better if I kept it to myself, but I cannot."

Penelope continued to look at him a perplexed expression. "Colin," she said, "I know we are friends, but maybe something this serious should be something you discuss with your family."

Colin let out a sigh. "I want to tell you in part because you are the cleverest woman I know, and I trust you more than anyone else. There are also specific reasons why I think you're the best person to be the one who knows. Is that enough of an explanation for now?"

Penelope nodded, though she still looked concerned.

With a deep breath, Colin started speaking. "When I went to bed last night, it was 1816. A lot is different then than it is now. I went to sleep in my bed with my wife beside me in the house we share, but this morning I woke up in Bridgerton House all alone. Based on how today went, I really did already live this before. The things I remember happening on this day did indeed happen today. It is not that I had a very bizarre and detailed dream last night about the next two or so years. I truly have already lived these years, and now I find myself back here. At first, I thought I might try to reenact the past two years to get to where I had been. I don't want to do anything to risk finding the happiness that I have found, but I know I have already changed things, at least slightly. There are also little things I might have changed, but I cannot remember for sure. Did my fencing bout with Anthony go the same way this morning as it had before? I just don't remember the details. I do know our conversation at Lady Danbury's went a bit differently in my memory than it did today. I cannot pretend I do not know the things I do. I cannot act for two whole years as if I am the same person I was. I do not have it in me. So, I needed to tell you. I needed to know that I could be honest with you, at least, even if I can be honest with no one else."

Penelope had looked away when he mentioned his wife, but her eyes quickly returned to his and widened the longer he talked. Colin wasn't sure if she fully believed him, but he didn't think she thought he'd gone mad either. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. Finally, she said, "I don't quite know what to say."

Colin finally gave in to the overwhelming desire to hold her hand. "I know," he said, "I hardly know how to put it into words. I cannot imagine what it is like to hear, let alone accept what I say as true. Would it help if I told you something that I learned in the future that might prove there is at least some truth to what I say?"

Penelope looked down at their clasped hands and gave a little squeeze. "You only have to do what you feel comfortable with. If I am to support you, you need to choose what to tell me. You don't need to prove anything to me."

Colin smiled. Penelope was truly his best friend, even this long before she became his wife. Knowing it would change the tone of the conversation but still feeling it was important, Colin lowered his voice further and said, "In 1815, I learned that you are Lady Whistledown." Penelope gasped and looked ashen, but he quickly continued. "I don't want to lie to you. I did not take it well. Some of what I was so angry about then has not yet been written, but I do not think it is a surprise that I felt deeply betrayed by the secret, especially since we were even closer then than we are now. There is a lot more to this story which I don't want to get into right now, but I need you to know that within a few weeks of finding out, I had completely forgiven you. Everything had been well between us for about a year before I woke up here."

Penelope continued to look at him, but now he noticed that there were tears in her eyes. She whispered, "I am so incredibly sorry, Colin. I am sorry for what happened with Marina. I am sorry I did not have the courage to speak to you directly. I know—" She let out a sob and stopped speaking.

Colin pulled her toward him without thought and kissed the top of her head while she cried into his chest. "I know, Pen. It is fine. Please do not trouble yourself. You did what you thought was best to protect me. You will always have my gratitude for keeping me from making such a large and irreversible mistake."

She pulled away and looked up at him. Her face was tearstained, but she smiled tentatively. Still whispering, she said, "I am relieved to no longer carry this secret alone. I cannot imagine how much more it would weigh on me for another whole year."

Colin smiled sadly. He knew it hadn't been easy, and he was glad he was able to relieve her burden. He knew that telling her his secret now would increase her stress, but he was hoping it would be worth it in the end. Returning his hand to hers, he continued, "There are a few other things that I have knowledge of, and I think we might want to use that knowledge to improve the outcomes from what I remember happening and prevent some wrongs. It is late, and I do not want to go into all the details now, but I am hoping that you will help me with them. It is a lot to ask, both keeping this secret and helping me, but I cannot relive these two years without you, Pen. I simply could not face it."

Penelope seemed to have shifted her focus to be orientated toward problem solving. She bit her lip thoughtfully before asking, "Should you be worried you might change too much? What if you never—" She swallowed and continued, "What if you never meet your wife? What if whatever actions we take change things that you don't want changed?"

Colin sighed heavily and then smiled. "I am not worried about my wife. I cannot imagine how I could do anything other than end up with her. In fact, I've already met her. I love her more than I could have imagined possible. I will find a way to show her that, no matter what happens." He smiled at her tenderly and paused before sharing the next part. He wasn't sure he should, but it weighed so heavily on him that he couldn't stop himself. "I am more worried about my son." Penelope gasped and put her hand to her mouth, but he continued, "I am terrified that he will not exist, at least not the same as I remember him. And Pen, he is perfect. He is indescribably wonderful, just as he is. He is the biggest reason I considered trying to recreate these two years exactly as I remember them. But I am not sure I could succeed. Not just because it would involve making mistakes I do not want to repeat and pretending to not have knowledge that I do, but because I am not even sure it would work. Even if he were conceived on the same day at the same hour, would he still be the same? I just do not know. I'm choosing to leave it up to fate or God or however else you want to describe it. If he is meant to be my son, I have to trust that it will happen."

Colin didn't realize until he stopped talking that he had teared up. It was only when Penelope pulled her hand out of his to wipe away her own tears that he felt his begin to fall. Penelope couldn't think of anything to say besides a quiet, "Oh, Colin."

Colin wiped his eyes quickly and began to apologize, "Forgive me for being so emotional. It is hard to explain how you can so desperately miss someone so small. It is odd to grieve for someone who does not yet exist. I had not meant to mention him yet, but he is never far from my mind. I apologize for being so maudlin."

Penelope turned toward him and grabbed both his hands with hers. "Do not apologize. You said you needed my support, and I am happy to give it." She paused, and he could tell something had just occurred to her. She pulled away quickly and looked around nervously. When she continued her voice had sharpened and risen in volume, "Colin, you must leave! You said if you were caught with me, you would marry me to protect my reputation, and I thank you for the kindness and forethought, but I could never ask that of you knowing this. If you never marry your wife, how could your son ever exist? Please do not risk that for me. I would never forgive myself."

Colin's eyes again dropped to her lips, and he unconsciously licked his. In a low voice, he responded, "Like I said, I am not worried about my wife, and I do not make promises I am unwilling to keep."

Penelope didn't think she had ever been more overwhelmed than she was in this moment. Colin was here in her family's garden late at night to speak to her. She knew it had to be something important when he said he would marry her if he got caught here. He was willing to risk a lifelong commitment in order to have this one conversation with her. While it wasn't a romantic declaration, she was flattered that she was the person he would seek out about something so meaningful. He also said she was the cleverest woman he knows, which was quite a compliment, knowing the women in his family. Penelope had not been prepared for the direction the conversation went. She had not expected him to speak of something as outlandish as time travel.

She would say it was unbelievable if it weren't for the fact that she was coming to believe him. Penelope couldn't explain how else he would know that she was Lady Whistledown. There was also something about how he explained it and how he reacted to her apology about what happened with Marina. His letters from his travels occasionally asked after her, and Penelope got the impression that he wasn't quite over what had happened. She didn't think he was deeply in love with Marina, nor did Penelope think he was truly still heartbroken, but she sensed that he hadn't fully come to terms with all of it. But speaking about it now, he sounded, well, like someone who had moved on years before. He thanked her for stopping him from making a mistake. He comforted her with an embrace that she probably should've left her scandalized but somehow didn't.

Penelope was also deeply curious about what he knew about what was to happen in the coming months and what he wanted her help with fixing. She still wasn't entirely clear why he was coming to her. They were friends, surely, and she'd like to think they had gotten even closer through their correspondence during his trip, but the fact he chose to confide in her over all others was unexpected. She was pleased but also a bit confused. She wasn't sure what knowledge or skills she had that would be needed.

All the confounding emotions came to a head when Penelope asked Colin about his wife. She didn't think he realized how his entire face changed when he spoke about her. Penelope was simultaneously jealous of this woman who could make Colin light up like this and delighted on his behalf that he had found such happiness. No one deserved that more than Colin. He was kind and good, and Marina's scheme had aimed to take advantage of that kindness and make it seem like foolishness. Penelope couldn't pretend that seeing him so in love with someone else didn't hurt, but she was a true enough friend that she didn't begrudge him the joy he had found. She could also tell that what he felt for Marina was nothing like what he felt for his wife. The depth of emotion was in another category entirely. Penelope raised her eyebrows when Colin said he had already met the woman he married. Penelope had just this afternoon heard him say he had sworn off women on his travels, and she knew she had never seen him react to a woman in Mayfair as strongly as he was now just speaking about his wife.

Penelope's thoughts scattered again when Colin mentioned his son. His smile and proud look when he talked about how his son was perfect was quickly replaced by a look that Penelope could only describe as shattered. Looking at his face, she was stunned by the tension he carried in his cheeks and jaw. She had spent more time than she'd like to admit looking at Colin in the years she'd known him, but she had never seen him look like this. While he still appeared just like he had the day he returned from Greece, and his time travel, such as it was, must be mental and not physical, this version of Colin looked older. She had always been aware that he was a couple years older than her, and sometimes that gap felt wider than others, but this was the first time where she felt absurdly young compared to the man sitting next to her. It wasn't just that he was in some sense two more years older than her than he had been yesterday. It was more than that. This wasn't a young man playing cutthroat pall-mall with his siblings or dancing at a ball or even getting engaged to a beautiful young woman. This was a man who was married to someone he clearly loved, who was a devoted parent, and who had been unexpectedly and potentially permanently separated from his wife and child less than a day before. He looked haunted, and Penelope's heart broke for him.

When Colin described how he had to trust that his son was fated to exist and be his, she pulled her hand away from his to wipe away the tears that spilled down her cheeks. She still wasn't entirely clear on how children came to be or what Colin meant by the word conceived, but Marina's explanation of love leading to a child seemed an apt one for this moment. If love alone were enough to bring a child into existence, Penelope was sure that Colin would see his son again.

She murmured Colin's name, and he began to apologize for being so emotional. Penelope supposed this was the most charged conversation they had ever had. Typically, they laughed, exchanged quips and barbs, gossiped, and joked. Their letters had more depth, but even then, they were mostly stories. She had never had a conversation with him like this, but it wasn't unwelcome. She reached for his hands with both of hers and said, "Do not apologize. You said you needed my support, and I am happy to give it."

Penelope was again touched that Colin had come to her with all of this. He had mentioned that they were closer in the future than they were now, but the level of trust he was showing her was surprising. He had been desperate to have this conversation with her specifically, even at such a great risk to himself. That final thought drew her up short. She tore her hands away from his, fearful that he could be ruining his own life by not thinking this conversation through. She tried to keep her voice from getting too loud as she admonished him, "Colin, you must leave! You said if you were caught with me, you would marry me to protect my reputation, and I thank you for the kindness and forethought, but I could never ask that of you knowing this. If you never marry your wife, how could your son ever exist? Please do not risk that for me. I would never forgive myself."

Instead of raising his voice to match her urgent tone, Colin's voice quieted and deepened as he leaned forward and said, "Like I said, I am not worried about my wife, and I do not make promises I am unwilling to keep." She saw his eyes dart down as he licked his lips, but then he froze as if he had just realized what he said to her. His eyes snapped up to lock with hers. They both sat completely still while looking at each other. Penelope's heart was racing, and her brain seemed to have slowed down. She whispered, "oh" while she searched his face for confirmation of what it seemed he was implying.

Suddenly, Colin pulled back and groaned. He bowed his head with his elbows on his knees as he said, "Forgive me, Pen. I promised myself I would do everything I could to avoid making you feel uncomfortable. I did not mean to—" He broke off, clearly unsure how to continue. He looked back at her and winced when he looked at her face. She could only imagine what expression he must see upon it. She had never been more stunned in her life. She was terrified she was wrong about what she thought he meant, but she was also nervous that she was correct. Her world was shifting on its axis. More than the impossibility of time travel, this information made her question everything she had thought to be true. Her mouth opened, but she closed it again because she had no idea what she could possibly say.

Colin, on the other hand, looked mortified. "I'm sorry, Penelope and I—that is, my wife and I, we are often—I know you're not quite—but I just—Damn." He stopped and glanced around wildly as if searching for inspiration for what to say. After a few moments, his gaze returned to hers. His eyes were glazed, and he swallowed nervously. Penelope had never seen Colin look at anyone like he was looking at her now. He looked vulnerable and terrified. She still didn't quite comprehend what was happening, but she hadn't missed that he had finally used his wife's name, and the way her heart clenched when she heard it took her breath away.

Colin reached forward slowly and gently took her hand and cleared his throat as he tried yet again to speak, "Penelope, I know this must be surprising and confusing, but you and Elliot are my entire world." Despite herself, she smiled at the revelation of his—their?—son's name. Colin continued, "I know our relationship is different now than it was in 1816. Please trust that I do know you are not quite the same as the Penelope I fell asleep beside last night." He winced again and continued, "I don't mean that as an insult. You are just as beautiful and clever and warm. Just being near you lifts my spirits, even on this most confounding day. Sitting with you like this is the only time all day where I have felt like I might get through this. You are my dearest friend. You are perfect, just as you are now." Penelope's eyes filled with tears. She didn't think anyone had ever made her feel more appreciated. She nodded for him to go on.

Colin continued, "I'm also aware of the fact that your relationship to me as of yesterday was very different than the relationship I had with my wife. We had been married for a year. A lot had happened in the time leading up to and following our marriage. She loved and trusted and knew me in a way that you don't. At least not yet." He smiled cheekily at that before getting serious again, "I want to be clear that I don't expect you to instantly jump into something you aren't ready for. I do not ever want you to feel like you owe me affection or anything else because of what I told you. I won't take any relationship I have with you for granted, whether it's friendship or something more." With a small and hopeful smile, he squeezed her hand and said, "I get the impression from the version of you I've come to know in my future that my affection won't be completely unwelcome or unreturned even this far back in time, but please take as much time as you need to figure out what you want. I don't want to pressure you, and I do not expect anything from you, other than your honesty. I do not know how to navigate this unusual situation any better than you do. I hope we will figure it out together. All I want is to be by your side in whatever capacity you'll have me."

Penelope still couldn't find her voice. She could've never imagined Colin saying something like this to her. She had hoped that one day he would see her as a man sees a woman, but her girlish fantasies couldn't match the depth of emotion in what Colin was saying. She felt an odd jealousy for the version of her that had become his wife. What had she done to inspire such a level of devotion?

Still smiling softly, Colin tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. It was such an intimate and tender gesture that Penelope was certain in that moment that he was telling the absolute truth. In some alternate future, Colin had done this hundreds of times. Without being fully aware she was doing it, she leaned into his touch. He hummed softly and then chuckled very quietly. She could hear the smile in his voice as he whispered, "Some things never change." He paused and then continued, "Though the first time I fixed your hair, you asked me what I was doing. I never did answer."

With obvious reluctance, Colin stood. He tugged on her hand to encourage her to stand. Once she was up, he started walking them back to toward the house without letting go of her hand. Still smiling and speaking softly and gently, he said, "I know how you like to overthink everything, but there will be plenty of time for that in the days ahead. For now, it is time for us to sleep." He paused and looked almost anxious before asking, "Will I see you tomorrow? Perhaps we can go for a promenade together, and whoever chaperones us will hopefully stay far enough back that we can begin talking through things. You can ask me anything you want, about us or the future as I experienced it or the things I would like your aid with. Your wish is my command."

Penelope finally spoke, "I would like that very much." She blushed and looked away. Suddenly remembering, she added, "Eloise had wanted to talk to me tomorrow morning, so maybe we could go from Bridgerton House after I see her." Colin nodded. As they reached the door, he stopped. Moving almost absurdly slowly, perhaps to give Penelope time to stop him, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. With one more squeeze of her hand and a whispered "goodnight, Pen", he turned and walked back toward Bridgerton House.

Penelope slipped back in the house and headed to her bedchamber. As she climbed into bed, she expected to find sleep elusive. Instead, she fell asleep quickly, slept soundly, and dreamed of a red-haired baby being cradled by the man she had loved since childhood. The next morning, she awoke with a smile.

Colin found himself nervous about how today would go. He wanted to see Penelope, but he also wasn't sure how she was going to react to everything he revealed the night before. He really hadn't meant to tell her everything quite like he did. Penelope had been so quiet for so much of it that he'd had a hard time knowing what she had been thinking, but he couldn't bring himself to regret that she knew. Perhaps he could've planned it better or been more charming or done something that would be less shocking, but it felt good to have his cards on the table. He still worried he could make her uncomfortable, but he was relieved he didn't have to completely pretend not to be besotted with her. He'd never been any good at hiding his feelings for Penelope for long.

As he got dressed, he found himself missing the style of clothing he'd been wearing before he ended up back here. If he were honest with himself, he also missed the more muscled version of his body. Both things were fixable, he supposed, but they'd take some time. He was going to let his hair grow out a bit, too. In the meantime, he'd change his hairstyle to something more like what he settled on in the future. Then he'd at least look a little more like himself.

As Colin walked down the hall, he heard Eloise and Penelope talking from one of the rooms. He knew he hadn't been present for their conversation the first time it happened, but his desire to see Penelope led him to head into the room where they were.

Eloise looked up from where she was seated and huffed as soon as he entered. "What are you doing here, brother?"

"I heard Penelope's voice and thought I'd greet her." He glanced at her quickly and smiled before returning his attention to Eloise.

Eloise glanced upwards, and asked, "What did you do to your hair? It's different."

Colin rolled his eyes before answering her. "I'm just trying something new."

Eloise continued to look at him a bit puzzled before asking again, "Seriously, Colin, why are you here? Are you wanting to get in my way again?"

Colin hadn't quite foreseen this. Since Penelope and Eloise were estranged during the time leading up to his betrothal, he hadn't experienced intentionally trying to spend time with Penelope without Eloise very often before his marriage. By the time everyone was reconciled, Eloise was headed to Scotland. When she got back, Colin had been able to simply interrupt and say he needed his wife. He tried not to be too obnoxious about it, so Penelope could spend time with her friend, but he'd never had to navigate this before. He frowned. "Can a man not wish to spend time with his sister and his friend?" All things considered, he was proud of himself for claiming Penelope as his friend and not his wife without a pause or grimace.

Eloise shrugged and turned back to Penelope to continue their conversation. Colin took the opportunity to really look at Penelope. She was wearing a yellow dress with flowers that he didn't recall having seen before. He could admit rationally to himself that yellow wasn't the most flattering color on her, but he liked it all the same. The cut, on the other hand, made it very difficult to forget quite how much he appreciated certain parts of her body. She met his gaze and blushed but didn't look away. Admonishing himself to not ogle her too obviously, he smiled as he said, "Good day, Pen." She smiled warmly and repeated the greeting back to him before returning her attention to Eloise.

Eloise looked between the two of them with a questioning look on her face. Evidently, she decided to ignore whatever was going on with them and glanced back at the copies of Lady Whistledown that she was holding. Her eyes widened, and she whispered, "She's finally revealed herself."

Colin decided to remain quiet as Pen said, "What? El—"

Eloise continued, "I was not going to tell you this—" she broke off while glancing at Colin, and started again, "Pen, look. Not only are these paper stocks identical, but the letter Ks, they are slightly misshapen in the exact same way. Surely it is not likely to be another coincidence."

Colin could tell Penelope was terrified, but it was clear Eloise wasn't paying any attention at all. Penelope said, "Well, we must keep an eye out. If the same mistake is in Whistledown next issue, then we will know the print shop is indeed hers."

Colin was impressed by her quick thinking, but seeing this play out in front of him, he was surprised Eloise hadn't caught on sooner. Penelope really wasn't a very good liar. If Eloise had looked at Penelope's face or listened to her tone of voice, it seemed like Eloise was clever enough to have pieced it together quicker than she had.

Eloise and Penelope had returned to talking about other things, but it soon became clear to Colin that Penelope wanted to get away from her discussion with Eloise, so he interrupted. "I need to talk to Penelope about something, so I'll see her out."

Penelope shot him a grateful look, but Eloise scoffed. "What could you possibly have to discuss?" Penelope looked at Eloise with barely concealed irritation, and Colin clenched his jaw.

"El, you do remember that I met her first? She is as much mine as yours." Without waiting for an answer from Eloise, he tugged on Penelope's hand so that she'd get up and go with him. When they got out in the hallway, Penelope was trying to suppress her giggles. Colin was pleased she left her hand in his as they stopped to talk. To avoid being overheard, she whispered, "I take it that's not the first time you've dealt with that?"

Colin chucked and said, "Surprisingly, it was the first time I've dealt with something quite like that. Once we were married, I wasn't exactly subtle when I wanted you to come with me or for Eloise to leave. I wasn't sure how blatant you wanted me to be just then."

Penelope still looked near laughter. "Are you saying that was subtle? Saying you met me first, so I am as much yours as hers?"

Colin smiled as he said, "Subtlety has never been one of my talents, but I did meet you first. I remember the day we first met. I was riding my horse, minding my own business, when I was assaulted by a devilishly yellow head covering. And you certainly seemed pleased when I landed in the mud. I was charmed from that very moment. You have always been more mine than Eloise's. She just hasn't always accepted it." As he talked, his thumb idly traced Penelope's wrist.

Penelope looked just as incredulous and pleased that he remembered their first meeting in such detail as she had been when he recounted it to her at the market in his memory of 1815. She looked down at their clasped hands and blushed.

Colin wanted to keep flirting with Penelope and see how far down he could get that flush to go, but something had occurred to him while Eloise had been talking. "I know we have a lot to talk about, but before we get too far into that discussion, we need to talk about what Eloise just said about the type." Penelope nodded while Colin continued, "I need you to be honest with me. If we didn't have plans, what would you do right now?"

Penelope pulled her hand out of his and answered, "I'd disguise myself and go to the market near the print shop and buy new type for them to use."

Colin nodded and looked thoughtful before saying, "I had a feeling. There are some things that happen with you and Eloise and your, um, business this season, and I, frankly, never learned all the details, especially when and how they precisely happened. I have a hypothesis about what happened on this trip to the market, and if I'm right, it turned out to be important. I don't know if we've already changed the timing, but I think we should try to replicate your trip to the market to see if what I think happened still happens. If I weren't here right now, when would you leave?"

Penelope looked a bit annoyed, and he knew it must be difficult for her to have him taking control like this over something that had been completely hers until last night. Colin didn't like trying to orchestrate this, but Penelope's partnership and friendship with Madame Delacroix was important both professionally and personally. With a resigned sigh, Penelope said, "now."

Colin nodded and asked, "Would you hire a hack or take the Featherington carriage?"

Penelope cleared her throat and whispered, "Money has been tight since my father died. I've been paying our carriage drivers from my own funds more than my mama can so that they'll stay on. They are very loyal."

Colin's eyes widened. "That explains some things. I, um, tried to belatedly bribe them once to protect your reputation, and they were both deeply offended at the suggestion that they would ever gossip about you or hurt your reputation. I was, to use Benedict's phrase, so simple with love at the time that I didn't question their loyalty, since of course I thought you deserved it just by being you, but looking back, it was strange."

Penelope looked curious, but Colin kept talking before she could ask anything else, "Go and change. I'll meet you at your carriage in ten minutes."

After they both got in, Colin looked across the carriage at Penelope in her maid's outfit and smiled. "I've never seen you in that before, though I've heard you describe it. You wore a different disguise the two times I saw you out secretly in 1815. I like it." Colin was surprised by how much he liked it. He'd always found gentlemen who dallied with maids to be undeniably selfish, and he personally had never understood why someone would want such a thing, but Penelope dressed as a maid was evidently something different.

Penelope looked down and blushed under his regard. She looked pensive for a bit and then asked, "Can I ask you something?"

Colin nodded and said, "Of course."

Penelope looked embarrassed, but whispered, "Does your—your Penelope—look different than I do? Is she more beautiful than I am?"

Colin slowly let his eyes wander down her body and shook his head. "She doesn't look much different, no." He frowned and said, "You are beautiful, Pen."

Penelope's blush deepened, but she asked, "But she does look a bit different?"

Colin sighed. He wasn't quite sure how to say what he meant without hurting this Penelope's feelings. Not only did he not want to hurt her, but he did think she was unbelievably beautiful. He found himself surprisingly happy to see her again in yellow dresses. He knew she hated them, so he would never ask her to wear them, but seeing her in them cheered him in a way he found it hard to explain even to himself.

The fact remained that they weren't identical, and she would know he was lying if he tried to claim they were. "Your physical appearance is very much the same, but there are little things. She dresses differently and does her hair a bit differently. Toward the beginning of the 1815 season, you—or her—forgive me, it's confusing—but you got a bunch of new dresses made. I assume you used money from Lady Whistledown, but I do not know for certain. They tended to be in blues and greens. They were also cut differently than some of your dresses."

Penelope's brow furrowed. "Differently how?"

Colin cleared his throat and couldn't help glancing down at her breasts for a moment before continuing, "They showed certain parts to better advantage than some of your earlier dresses." He cleared his throat again. "Though the dress you were wearing earlier certainly showed those parts off just fine." Penelope still looked confused, and Colin was sure his face had to be bright red. Finally, he just gave in and said, "Your chest, Pen."

Her soft "oh" hung in the air for a moment before Colin rushed on, "I knew you were beautiful before your dresses changed, of course. Even the day of Francesca's presentation, when you were wearing, forgive me, a truly hideous dress your mother had forced you to wear a few times, you took my breath away. You were angry with me and Eloise, frustrated with your family, and clearly uncomfortable, but I was seeing you for the first time since coming back from my travels, and it was like I had forgotten how beautiful you were." Penelope's mouth had dropped open.

Colin smiled and went on, "You arrived at Lady Danbury's ball that year in the most stunning dress I had ever seen you in, and trust me, I was not the only gentleman who noticed. It wasn't right away after that, but over the next several weeks, you became more and more confident, both in yourself and your appearance. Leading up to and following our wedding, you tended to say that I had helped you find that confidence, but I think there was more to it than just me. It's true that I was trying to encourage you and help you find confidence in yourself, but you were also being courted and coming into your own. There was a lot going on with Lady Whistledown, too, and you claimed your voice and stood up for yourself. I don't know exactly when it happened, but you started carrying yourself differently, like you weren't worried about being seen or taking up too much space. All that goes to say, you are no less beautiful than my Penelope or my wife or however you want to say it, but I think she is a bit more aware of the fact that she is gorgeous, which is glorious to behold."

Penelope blinked at him. If Colin had needed to name her facial expression, he would have said aroused. It somehow seemed fitting from what he knew of Penelope that she would react to his praise not just of who she is now but of who she could be. It was certainly better than offended or hurt. Before he could stop himself, he said, "Of course, she also looked different when she was with child. That was the most beautiful you—or, sorry, she ever could be." Colin cleared his throat before he could think too much about it and went on, "I looked more different in 1815, I think. I had lost weight during my travels and found physical activity a useful distraction from the thoughts that were plaguing me. I grew my hair out a bit. I changed how I dressed, too. I hate these clothes now," he chucked, "and I hope to get them replaced soon."

Penelope looked at him thoughtfully and then smirked. "I'll have to let you know what I think when you get your transformation is complete.

Not expecting teasing, Colin laughed, which set Penelope off. They were still chuckling when the carriage came to a stop around the corner from the market. Penelope told him to stay where he was and climbed out.

Colin had been lost in thought when Penelope climbed back into the carriage. Pushing back her hood, she sat down and said, "It was running into Madame Delacroix that you were trying to arrange?"

Colin nodded before explaining, "I wasn't sure whether to tell you. I thought genuine surprise would be better. My understanding is that you two develop a partnership. You publish a column within the next week or so that praises her work compared to that of the new modiste. Eventually, she ends up helping deliver your manuscripts to the print shop, but I don't know the details of how you arranged that. She helps you with a situation with Eloise, which I want to see if we can prevent, but through all these things, you and Genevieve become close friends. You even sneaked out the night before our wedding to have a drink with her, and since our marriage she has been a frequent guest at our house. I didn't want my presence with you today to unintentionally take away a valuable partner and someone who at least potentially could be a good friend."

Penelope nodded, "She sounds like a good person. I look forward to getting to know her." After a few moments of silence, Penelope inhaled sharply and started speaking again, "Colin, I know you are trying to help, but I'm not sure I want to do something like this again." At his confused look, she continued. "You knew, or thought you knew, or hoped you knew what would happen. But you sent me out with no idea what to expect. Here in the carriage with you, I thought it was ok, but as soon as I stepped out and remembered that a mysterious something would happen, but despite you being here, I neither knew what it was, nor did I have any protection. You decided what I should do and expected me to follow your plan without any knowledge of what would happen, and I don't want to do that again."

Colin winced. "Forgive me, you are right. That wasn't fair of me."

Penelope sighed, "You came to my house last night because you wanted my help and advice, and I'm not sure all the details of what is going on, but the first thing we do today involves you telling me what to do so that you can manipulate my business and my personal life. I get that you have knowledge I don't, and I'm happy to use it, and I want to help you, but you need to tell me. You need to let me make my own choices. I can take care of myself, and I don't need you to tell me what to do."

The last sentence made Colin flinch. "I'm sorry. I tend to try and rescue you, and it rarely goes well. From now on, if I think you or both of us should do something based on knowledge I have, I will share all the details with you, so you can make the decision yourself."

Penelope nodded. She looked hesitant before saying, "I don't know what your marriage is like, but if you're going to need my assistance and help me with some of the things you know about, this needs to be a partnership. I'm already at a disadvantage, since you know more than I do, but I can't allow you to treat me as less than an equal."

Colin was ashamed. He knew that in times of stress he defaulted to trying to take control and fix everything, but he would've thought he'd learned his lesson by this point. The fact that every version of Penelope saw through his misplaced heroics was humbling. She was exactly what he needed, no matter the year or version or history. He sighed and said, "I'm sorry. I do know better. I knew better in my marriage, and I know better with you. I promise that we will be equal partners from now on, if you make me one promise in return." When she tipped her head to the side and raise her eyebrows in some combination of curiosity and challenge, he said, "Never, ever stop telling me when I'm being a fool."

Penelope tipped her head back and laughed. "Well, I think that's something I can handle."

Colin found himself completely in awe of her as she laughed. What he'd said before about her being beautiful as she was now wasn't enough. She was, indeed, Penelope. He had already suspected that there was no version of her with whom he wouldn't fall in love, but right now, it felt very certain indeed.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, she said, "You said that you knew better in your own marriage than to treat your wife as anything less than an equal partner. Would you mind telling me what you meant?"

Colin shook his head, "I'd be happy to. Well, maybe not exactly happy. This story does not reflect well on me." Penelope's eyebrows shot up, but Colin continued, "The morning after our wedding, Miss Cowper came to our house and revealed that she knew you were Lady Whistledown." Penelope gasped. Colin nodded as he went on, "She asked for 10,000 pounds to keep the secret. I wasn't there, but you tried to convince her that no one would believe her, so when your mother came in, Miss Cowper told her. I was at Bridgerton House with El—"

Penelope interrupted with furrowed brows, "You were with Eloise at Bridgerton House the morning after our wedding?"

Colin grimaced, "I told you this story didn't reflect well on me. When you and your mother came in and told me and Eloise what had happened, you offered to pay Miss Cowper yourself from the money you had earned from Lady Whistledown."

Penelope gasped again, "I haven't made anywhere near that much yet."

Colin smiled, "Lady Whistledown had become quite influential by that point, so I'm not surprised your earnings per column were higher then. Admittedly, your offer to pay Miss Cowper might have gone over better if anyone else in the room had known how much you had." Penelope flinched, but Colin went on, "Your mother looked betrayed, and Eloise looked impressed. I was furious, or something like it. I'm not sure that's quite the right word, but it was another secret, and frankly, yet one more way in which you proved your independence and capability. I had never felt worthy of you from the moment I realized I was in love with you, but knowing you could literally take care of yourself in every possible way was harder for me to accept than it should have been."

Penelope's face was completely uninterpretable. Colin rarely felt that way anymore, but he had no idea what she was thinking right now. Penelope's mouth opened and closed a few times before she said, "I don't know which part of that to respond to first. The idea that you wouldn't be worthy of me makes me think I've overestimated your cleverness. I don't know what your version of Penelope thought, but I don't think any version of me would've wanted to be completely reliant on you to take care of me. That isn't why I'd want to marry you."

Colin smiled at the implication that there would be a reason this version of Penelope would want to marry him before nodding. "No, I do believe you're right. I was, at least as far as my wife could tell, incredibly angry about all of this. I told Penelope it wasn't up to her what we did, and out of fear or misplaced loyalty or uncertainty or something else, she let me take charge of the plan." Penelope looked surprised but stayed silent. Colin continued, "I decided to talk to Miss Cowper and appeal to her mercy."

Colin could tell Penelope was holding back giggles. "Did you truly expect that to succeed?"

Colin rolled his eyes. "I hoped, and it almost seemed like it would—until I stated that a family's love is enduring."

Penelope shook her head and rolled her eyes, but her expression was somehow affectionate. Colin said, "When I told you the plan had failed, and that Miss Cowper was now asking for double the amount, you thanked me for my all my counsel." Penelope snorted, and Colin gave a wry smile and concluded, "Within a week or two, you had solved that problem and a few others without paying anyone anything."

Penelope smiled. "I think I would like my future counterpart."

Colin chucked as the carriage came to a stop in front of Featherington House. He smiled at Penelope. "Shall we save our promenade for tomorrow? You must be tired of me by now."

Penelope shook her head. "I will never be tired of you."

The conversation with Eloise is mostly verbatim from the show, but Eloise doesn't mention going to the print shop because her brother is there.

I'm going with the assumption that Colin doesn't see Pen when he glances in her direction at the beginning of 3x01. I know the audio description says differently, but for this fic I like the idea that the first time he saw her was at the garden party.

I agree with Colin that the connection with Mme. Delacroix is important for Pen to maintain, and I love their friendship, but I also think Pen's reaction to his highhanded behavior is important. No version of Penelope lets him get away with that kind of thing.

The next chapter will take place after this but before the events of 2x03. I don't think anything in the show makes clear how long passes before the Bridgertons and Sharmas head to Aubrey Hall. For the purposes of this story, I'm going to assume a few days. Colin still needs to tell Pen about the things he needs her help with.

Upon exiting the carriage, Colin and Penelope agreed to meet in front of Featherington House after Penelope had changed. As soon as she joined him, the heavens opened, and fat water droplets began to fall hard and fast.

Colin looked at her and smiled ruefully. "Tea at Bridgerton House?"

Once Penelope nodded, Colin grabbed her hand and started to run. Giggling, they made their way across the square. Even though it wasn't that far, they were still soaked by the time they got there. As they walked up the stairs toward the drawing room, Colin realized that this wouldn't accomplish what the promenade had been supposed to. This was not a house to discuss something that had to remain private, especially with Eloise around. The truth was that he hadn't wanted his day with Penelope to end.

When they got to the drawing room, Colin led her into the room with his hand on the small of her back. Violet looked up at them from where she was standing by the window and smiled slightly when she saw Colin remove his hand from Penelope's back. When Eloise noticed her, she exclaimed, "Pen, you're back!"

Penelope shrugged and said, "I am, but I'm not sure I should sit on any furniture."

Colin and his mother said "nonsense" in unison, so Penelope gingerly sat next to Eloise on a settee. Colin sat in the chair next to where Penelope was sitting. Colin looked around the room. A surprising number of his siblings were there, namely everyone besides Anthony and, of course, Daphne.

After a few minutes of small talk, Anthony rushed in. "Family," he said, "I have convinced the Sharmas to come to Aubrey Hall earlier than the rest of the guests." In a strict tone, he added, "You must all be on your best behavior." Colin had forgotten how pompous Anthony had been during this period and couldn't wait until Kate became his wife. She made him much more tolerable. Colin turned to Penelope and rolled his eyes, which had the unintended effect of drawing Anthony's attention to her.

Anthony looked at her hair and dress with a slightly irritated expression. He said, "Penelope, you are rather wet."

Penelope smiled slightly and replied, "It's because of Colin that I'm wet, as always."

Colin tried to cover his inappropriate laugh with a cough, but he knew he hadn't quite succeeded when Anthony, Benedict, and mortifyingly, his mother all glared at him.

Hyacinth broke the tension between the older people in the room by asking, "Brother, have you gotten Penelope stuck in the rain before?"

Penelope chuckled and said, "There was that one time—"

Colin interrupted, "At Aubrey Hall! You must've been about 15, I think."

"I was quietly reading in the drawing room—"

"—when I insisted it was really too nice of a day to stay indoors."

"So, we went for a walk."

"On the way back, I found out it wasn't a nice day after all."

"It poured, harder than I have ever experienced before or since."

"Other than bathing, I don't think I have ever been that wet in my life."

"I have taken baths with less water than the amount wrung out of my dress."

At this point, Eloise interrupted, "Where was I for all this?"

Colin and Penelope both shrugged. After a beat of silence, Colin said somewhat wistfully, "That seems like a very long time ago."

Penelope looked at him with slightly widened eyes. "It was only three years ago."

Colin smiled, "Mmm, that is true, but they've been a long three years. So long, in fact, that they feel like five."

At this, Penelope sputtered and started laughing. Colin joined in, and it was a couple of minutes before they regained their composure. The rest of the drawing room was silent until Gregory said, "What is wrong with them?"

"I'm wondering the same thing," said Eloise.

Violet smiled and said softly, "I don't think anything is wrong at all."

It was the next morning when Colin's mother approached him. He had been sitting by himself in the drawing room wondering where the rest of his family was when Violet stepped into the room. "Dear, may I speak with you a moment?"

Colin nodded. He knew what was coming, and that there was no way to avoid this for very long.

Violet sat down. "I was wondering if there was anything you wished to discuss with me. Maybe about Penelope?"

Colin thought about denying it but didn't see the point. He was much more certain of what he wanted with Penelope than he had been in 1815 when his mother had tried to speak with him. "She is my dearest friend and very special to me."

"Do you think your friendship might be blossoming into something more? I saw the way you looked at her when you first walked in from your travels." Colin started at this, since that was before this version of him had arrived, so to speak. He really had been a fool, and his mother really did know everything. She continued, "Yesterday, I saw you running across the square holding her hand, and then later, you two seemed in a world of your own even in the chaos of our drawing room. You hardly took your eyes off her."

Colin replied, "What happens between us moving forward is much more in Penelope's hands than it is mine. I am optimistic about my future with her. I hope she will one day consent to be my wife."

Violet smiled and squeezed his hand. Colin was glad he'd been able to be somewhat honest with his mother. The inherent dishonesty of keeping his time travel a secret weighed on him, though he knew it was necessary. Confiding in his mother like this seemed to lessen that weight ever so slightly. Colin cleared his throat before asking, "Mother, would you be willing to accompany me today so that I may promenade with Penelope with a proper chaperone?" His mother's joyous smile made him glad he'd thought to ask her.

When Colin and his mother were greeted by Varley at the door of Featherington House, Colin reflected on how odd it was that he'd called on Penelope so few times, and most of those times weren't exactly formal. It was also strange to be a caller in a home that had been his own, if only for a few months. He wondered where the rest of Penelope's family was, though he was grateful to not need to explain himself to Lady Featherington and happy to avoid any interaction with Jack Featherington. He idly glanced around the drawing room and took note of what was different from when he last remembered being there as they waited for Penelope. His mother seemed to take his looking around as nervousness and touched his arm to offer reassurance. "Penelope has always adored you, Colin."

He smiled. "I know, and I was a fool for not noticing her sooner."

His mother squeezed his arm, and Penelope walked into the room. She looked surprised to see Violet but smiled genuinely at them both.

Colin headed toward her and offered his arm. "Shall we, Pen?" Her smile widened as she took his arm.

As it transpired, Colin's mother had been the perfect choice to chaperone their conversation. Having the dowager Lady Bridgerton there certainly made everything above reproach, but she wasn't nosy like any of his siblings would be. If Rae had already been Penelope's maid, Colin might've preferred her, but asking a random maid in the Bridgerton House to chaperone his promenade felt discourteous when they were trying to get their work done.

Once they'd walked for a bit, Penelope said, "How shall we begin?"

With a small chuckle, Colin said, "You asked me that once on a promenade in 1815."

Penelope looked up at him. "Was that after we started courting?"

Colin shook his head. "We never formally courted, Pen."

With a slightly annoyed groan, Penelope said. "I really want to hear this whole story at some point, but I'm not sure it is our highest priority."

"Unfortunately, I agree. I cannot wait to tell you and see how you react." Colin paused before continuing, "There are three things that my future knowledge could potentially be helpful with changing. One is something I feel ethically compelled to try to stop, but I want your help finding a way to do it that doesn't hurt anyone besides the person responsible. One is serious, but it is more something I want to influence for personal reasons. This is the one that involves Eloise. The last one is Anthony's courtship. I'm unsure whether to get involved in this one. It worked out well in the end, but there's a lot more drama and pain along the way than is ideal. Anthony is so stubborn and committed to his vision of what he thinks is best that I worry any action on my part could backfire. Which would you like to hear about first?"

Penelope bit her lip. "I think the first one is the most important, but I'm too interested in gossip to not want to hear the third one. Maybe we can start there?"

Colin laughed. "I don't blame you. We can go into more details later, especially if we decide to act, but I'll keep it brief for now. Anthony did end up betrothed to Miss Edwina Sharma, and their wedding was supposed to take place at the palace and hosted by the Queen. During the ceremony, Miss Edwina noticed that Anthony was staring at Miss Kate Sharma with his heart in his eyes, or however you want to express it, and ran out of the ceremony." Penelope gasped, and Colin couldn't fault her reaction. Watching the scene unfold had been terrible. Miss Edwina had been humiliated and his brother had been a fool.

"The resultant scandal was a bit of a problem for both families, but we purposely spent time together to diffuse it. It didn't quite work as planned," Colin admitted with a grimace. "The second problem, and what Lady Whistledown chose to do about it, had some impact on why the plan did not work."

Penelope winced, but Colin kept speaking without pausing, "After Kate fell from a horse and spent about a week unconscious, Anthony proposed, but she turned him down at first. They ended up getting engaged at a ball held at the end of the season at Featherington House. The Queen's support helped avoid further scandal. Despite the awkward beginning, Kate is perfect for Anthony. Their marriage is enviable, and in my version of the future, they are on their third honeymoon in India, and their child is slightly older than Elliot. Miss Edwina is married and living abroad, but I have not seen her since Kate and Anthony's wedding."

Penelope sighed. "I see what you mean. I feel terribly for Miss Edwina. She was very kind to me the other day, and I do not like the idea of seeing her hurt. But if it all works out so well, it's hard to know which actions might jeopardize the outcome."

Colin nodded. "I quite like Miss Edwina, though I always felt her pairing with Anthony a little odd. On our upcoming trip to Aubrey Hall, at least last time, there was a game of pall-mall, as there always is with my siblings. It was clear Miss Edwina was not enjoying it, especially with the competitiveness my family brings to the game, which is fine. What bothered me was that when she decided to drop out of the game, Anthony did not follow to check on her until I motioned him with my head, widened my eyes, and did everything but yell at him to go after her. It was a tiny moment, but it planted the seed of doubt in my mind that their relationship would work."

Colin sighed. "I have no idea what I could do to help. I know Daphne tried to talk Anthony out of his wedding to Miss Edwina, so maybe I could talk to her and say I'm also having doubts. Other than that, I don't know."

Penelope looked thoughtful. "Perhaps we should put that one aside and move on to the big one."

Colin swallowed before he started speaking. "This one might be tough for you to hear, but I think it will also explain why I thought you must be involved in whatever I do. Other than your cleverness, of course." Penelope smiled.

Colin had decided to start with the facts. "I know your father left a lot of debts when he passed, and until the current Lord Featherington arrived, your family was left with very little."

Penelope looked embarrassed but nodded. "There was a while we ate nothing but potatoes. It was the only thing Varley could cook, and I think it was all we could afford."

Colin stopped. "Pen, I had no idea it was that bad. I've seen the ledgers going back several years, but they did not tell the full story."

With a bemused shake of her head, Penelope asked, "Why would you have seen the ledgers?"

Colin smiled. "Ah, that would be because Elliot is Lord Featherington, and he's not quite able to take over all his duties yet. I assist him, so to speak. Or to be more truthful, I work with your mother to try to untangle the mess that is our son's estate."

Colin glanced back at his mother and urged Penelope to keep walking. He could tell she was stunned. Finally, she said, "I have so many questions, but I have a feeling that this one might be the most relevant to our problem: what happened to Cousin Jack?"

Colin grimaced before he went on. "The short answer is that there are no ruby mines. He has no wealth."

The only response Penelope gave him was a soft "oh."

With a sigh, Colin said, "His plan, evidently, was to marry someone with a large dowry, like Miss Cowper. This might have worked if your mother hadn't trapped him in an engagement to Prudence."

Penelope snorted. "Another season, and my mother is planning to entrap someone else in marriage. Somehow I'm not surprised."

With a slight chuckle, Colin said, "I had always wondered if your mother was involved in Marina's plan, but neither you nor your mother ever admitted it to me."

Penelope flinched. "Forgive me, I assumed you knew."

With a shrug, Colin continued, "It's no matter now. The plan after that, which I also think it likely that your mother helped orchestrate, was to get members of the ton to invest in the ruby mines and live off that money. It was quite successful for a while. I do not know what the plan was for when the ton expected returns on their investments."

Penelope looked aghast and asked, "Then what happened?"

"I decided to explore investing. I was trying to find a purpose and thought investing in your cousin's business could help your family and mine at the same time, which felt like a meaningful way to honor my friendship with you while also making something of myself. Will Mondrich tipped me off that your cousin was not to be trusted, and I discovered that there were no gemstone mines in Georgia."

With a sigh, Penelope said, "I see why you feel you must do something."

Nodding, Colin continued. "Indeed. Last time, I confronted him at your family's ball. I needed proof so I unclasped Miss Cowper's necklace while dancing with her and offered to fix the supposedly broken clasp. I then grabbed you and left the ballroom, so I could tell you first what I had discovered. Your mother and Jack Featherington found us in the drawing room." At this Colin paused and looked thoughtful. "I do not know why your mother didn't try to force us to marry. I dragged you out of the ballroom while holding your hand, took you to a private room, and shut the door. I do not think we were touching when they came in, but I cannot be sure. I was certainly speaking passionately." Colin frowned and shrugged. "I smashed the glass stones in the necklace and delivered a speech accusing you cousin of taking advantage of the ladies in your family and telling him to leave town."

Penelope looked at him with wide eyes. "You are astonishing, Colin."

Colin cringed and shook his head emphatically. "Do not say that. Please. I did not deserve your praise then, and I do not deserve it now." Having this version of Penelope repeat those same words made him feel even more ashamed of how the rest of that night went. Before Penelope could ask about his unusual reaction to her compliment, Colin said, "An additional problem is that your mother kept the money and had a document forged—"

"By Varley, I assume? She also forged the final letter from George Crane to Marina."

"Hmm, I believe so, though I have never asked. The document gave the title and estate to the oldest son birthed by you, Prudence, or Philippa."

Penelope's brow was furrowed. "But Philippa just got married. How could we possibly have had the heir?"

"It is surprising. The Finches were married for almost a year before Philomena must have been conceived. I do not know why, nor do I wish to, but your mother still makes the occasional snide comment about it to Albion, and he always looks sheepish. None of the possible explanations are things I wish to hear about." Penelope looked confused, and Colin remembered that she had no idea how children were conceived. With a slight wince, he thought that perhaps this time he would make sure she knew all the details before he had gotten her with child. "Both your sisters gave birth a few weeks before Elliot was born, but they had daughters."

Penelope looked thoughtful. "I want to make sure I'm understanding everything." Colin nodded for her to continue. "Cousin Jack is going to steal from the ton, which we should prevent, but if we do that, my family more than likely remains destitute, and depending on how we do it, it is possible neither my child, nor a child of one of my sisters, becomes the next Lord Featherington. We would also probably prevent Prudence's marriage, since I assume she doesn't marry Cousin Jack."

"Precisely. My understanding is that there is no other male heir to the estate either, so it would pass to a new family selected by the Crown if Jack Featherington is removed." After a pause, he added, "Your sister married a Mr. Harry Dankworth. I do not know how that came to be, and they were married before I returned in 1815. Harry is besotted with Prudence, though I am not certain she returns the sentiment."

Penelope sighed. "You may have overestimated my cleverness. At the very least, I certainly understand why you felt you needed help. There aren't easy answers."

With a slight grimace, Colin said, "Indeed. If I did not care about you or the rest of your family, it would be easy. Likewise, I could marry you as soon as possible, and between your income from Lady Whistledown and the money I've inherited, we'd be fine, but that would leave your mother and Prudence in a precarious position, or dependent on us, which I would prefer to avoid. I'm not especially concerned about the title, but I would prefer it to stay within our family."

Penelope's eyes had gotten very wide when he mentioned marrying her as soon as possible, and she became a bit teary when he used the phrase "our family" to refer to the Featheringtons. Colin realized he had probably gone a bit too far, but the look of adoration she was giving him made him glad he had.

Clearing her throat, Penelope asked, "Do you have any ideas?"

Colin shrugged. "Not precisely. There are specifics about the scheme I don't know, so I was hoping you could keep your eyes and ears open around your mother and the current Lord Featherington over the coming weeks. Maybe you could spend some time thinking about it, too, in case you have a brilliant idea. We can discuss it again when you get to Aubrey Hall next week."

Penelope nodded, and Colin happened to catch his mother's eye when he turned his head toward Penelope. Violet made a gesture that he knew meant she wanted to head home. Colin slowed so that she could catch up with them as they started to head back.

Later that night, Penelope lay in her bed lost in thought. If someone had told her three days ago that she could be more in love with Colin Bridgerton than she already had been, she would have thought them a liar. But then she met this version of him. While she had never found him immature, and disliked when some of his siblings treated him as such, he had certainly matured in the two years between now and when he had come from. His letters from his trip to Greece had been wonderful and very well-written, but it had been clear he'd been adrift. This version of Colin seemed confident in who he was, and he was very certain of his love for his wife and son.

Penelope found it odd to be jealous of a future version of herself. In many ways, she was curious about the Penelope that Colin had known and married. She sounded fascinating, and Colin was clearly besotted with her. The way he described her appearance left no doubt that he found her attractive, and the way his face and voice changed when he spoke about her made clear that he truly loved her. Penelope was still unclear on how they had ended up betrothed, especially if they never courted, but it was clearly a love match.

The way Colin spoke of her own person was also something she could only have imagined in her dreams. She believed him when he said he thought she was beautiful. She'd caught him looking at her lips and breasts enough times to know he desired her as a man desires a woman. She knew she was very dear to him and was honored her referred to her as his dearest friend. Despite all this, she couldn't help but feel some inadequacy. Colin said she was perfect as she was now, but the fact remained that something must have changed between now and when he married her future counterpart. What if her own version of Penelope wasn't quite enough for him? What if she never figured out how to be the version of Penelope whom he loved? Would he always resent her for not truly being the woman who he had originally chosen as his wife? Colin seemed to be making it clear that he wanted to eventually marry, and Penelope knew in the depths of her soul she would never deny him, but she worried that for all his love for some version of Penelope, he'd still find a way to break her heart.

7

Colin woke slowly, savoring the lingering vestiges of his dream. The first two nights since being back in 1814 he had dreamed of his wife and Elliot. He still missed them and grieved what he had lost by coming back here, but the Penelope he knew in 1816 wasn't the only Penelope in his dreams anymore. Last night, he found himself dreaming of this Penelope. Some of his dreams were innocent or fantasies about how they could fix everything that had gone wrong in 1814 together, as partners. Some of the dreams were very much not innocent. One might think it would be difficult to tell which version of Penelope he was dreaming about if they weren't wearing many clothes, or frankly, doing much talking. But he knew. He also knew that he would very much like to turn his dreams into reality. There was something bittersweet about that realization. He knew that if he woke up tomorrow morning back in 1816, he would be overjoyed. Seeing Elliot again would heal a hole inside him that he feared would never be filled. But he knew that there would be grief, too. He would miss the Penelope he had gotten to know here. She wasn't the Penelope he had originally married, nor was she the Penelope he had known in 1814. She was a version all to herself, and he would be loath to give her up.

Later that morning, Colin once again found himself calling at Featherington House. He felt a bit guilty that this was the closest he had ever come to properly courting Penelope, and even now, there was more to it than that. He did want to spend time with her, of course, and if this time together helped convince her that they should marry, all the better. As he walked into the drawing room, he was irritated to see that both Lady Featherington and Prudence were there, too. Colin took a moment to greet them. He was glad to note the continued absence of Jack Featherington, which made Colin happy. He wanted to avoid addressing that man as Lord Featherington for as long as possible. While he had been truthful with Penelope that he didn't care much about their son having the title, addressing anyone but Elliot as Lord Featherington both irritated and pained Colin. It might've been silly, but somehow using his proper title had become one of the most common names by which Colin, Penelope, and Violet referred to Elliot. Calling a newborn such a long and formal name made Penelope giggle, so Colin committed himself to doing it as much as possible. He didn't know why his mother did it, but it was clearly affectionate. Referring to someone else as Lord Featherington seemed wrong and was yet another reminder that his son wasn't here.

Penelope looked up at him and smiled slightly as he approached. She didn't seem quite as happy to see him as Colin would have preferred, but he decided not to take offense. He went to sit next to her in much the same way he had done when he visited the other version of her after their engagement party. From Lady Featherington's sharp look, he realized he might have made a slight error in judgement. He had sat like this with Penelope before, but only after they were engaged, and frankly, after he spoken so angrily to Lady Featherington. He idly wondered if she'd been a bit afraid of him. More than that, allowing him to sit much too close to Penelope than was proper made sense when they were betrothed but much less sense when he was an unmarried gentleman who wasn't even courting her, as far as Lady Featherington knew. Colin decided to ignore her for now and turned to Penelope. "Are you well, Pen? You look pensive."

She smiled slightly and answered, "I am well. There has certainly been much to think about these last few days."

Colin nodded. That was certainly true. He couldn't blame Penelope for being thoughtful. Trying to figure out how they could speak without the risk of being overheard, he asked, "Do you think your mother would allow us to take a turn in the garden?"

Penelope looked uncertain. "I truly don't know. A gentleman has never asked that before."

Colin stood up and walked over to Penelope's mother and asked, "Lady Featherington, since it is such a fine day, would it be alright if Penelope and I went to walk in the gardens for a few minutes? They are so lovely that it seems a shame to be here and not take the time to appreciate them."

Portia looked startled and glanced between Colin and Penelope with an expression that made Colin a bit nervous. "I don't have a maid to spare to chaperone the two of you."

Colin smiled his most charming smile and said, "I promise we will stay within full view of the house the whole time." He thought about promising he would never compromise her daughter, but that would be a lie. He could think of many circumstances under which he would, this just was unlikely to be one of them. Nodding reluctantly, Lady Featherington gave her permission. With a sigh of relief, Colin escorted Penelope out the door.

Penelope turned toward him expectantly. "Are you going to tell me what happens with Eloise? I'm worried about her obsession with Whistledown."

Colin nodded and began explaining what he knew about her visiting the print shop, meeting Theo Sharpe, and attending political rallies as they began walking around. "…by the time you joined us at Aubrey Hall in a few days, I already knew about the radical pamphlets she was reading and that she had met Mr. Sharpe. I asked you to try to dissuade her while I was gone that day, but you seemed to have no more success than I had."

When Colin got to the part about Eloise leaving Anthony's failed wedding to visit Theo, Penelope groaned. "Why would she do that?"

Colin shook his head. "It was foolish, and I believe you told her as much at the time. You did not know how right you were." He then explained about the Queen having Eloise followed, accusing her of being Lady Whistledown, and threatening her and all the Bridgertons. "…Madame Delacroix gave you the idea to publish something about Eloise that she would not publish about herself."

Penelope's face fell, and she looked bewildered. "Please tell me I did not."

Colin smiled sadly. "You did. You only mentioned her going to political rallies and not her spending time unchaperoned with Mr. Sharpe, but it was still damaging. You were going to stop publishing after that, but certain events changed your mind."

Penelope looked stricken. "I'm so sorry."

Colin regarded her for a minute before saying, "You personally have nothing to apologize for. This hasn't yet happened, and I'm hoping we can avoid it. As for your future counterpart, this was one of the things I was most angry about when I found out she was Lady Whistledown. I came to understand why she wrote what she did and why she felt like she had no choice, but I also remember seeing Eloise's face when she read that column at what was supposed to be a joint Bridgerton-Sharma ball, which no one attended because of the scandal. I'm not angry about it anymore, but I think you can understand why it took some time."

By that point, they had reached a bench, and Penelope sat down. "I don't know what to say."

Colin sat down next to her and reiterated, "You do not have to say anything. You did not do it."

Penelope just shook her head with tears in her eyes. "Why did you ever marry me after that?"

Colin took her hand and tried to explain, "There are a few ways to answer that. The most pragmatic one is that we were already betrothed by the time I found out you were Whistledown." Penelope gasped and put a hand to her mouth. With a wry smile, Colin continued, "Indeed, it was not ideal. The reason I gave you at the time for why I was still marrying you was that I was a man of honor." Colin rolled his eyes. "I knew it was a lie as soon as I said it. There were some other harsh words I said to you at that time, which I deeply regret." Colin decided to forego mentioning their intimacy or the fact that he had accused Penelope of planning to entrap him. While he was ashamed of what he'd said and didn't relish telling this Penelope about it, he did plan to tell her. Now, however, he thought it might distract from this conversation, since she as yet wouldn't have been clear on what being intimate meant. "At the time, the answer I thought was true was that I was simply too in love with you to do anything but try to figure out how to eventually forgive you. That was true, but there was more to it than that. I tried to separate the idea of Penelope, this beautiful and clever woman who made me feel appreciated and seen and loved like no one else, from the idea of Lady Whistledown, who was cunning and sharp and who had ruined Lady Crane and Eloise and had insulted me. But that wasn't true either. You were always clever, you had always written the best letters and columns, you are witty in both writing and speaking, you are brave, and you would do anything to protect those you love. In my memory, you stood up to the Queen, once in writing and once in person, to protect our family. You didn't always make the best choices, perhaps, but none of those things made you any less the person I fell in love with." Colin sighed. He still didn't like admitting the next part. "I had my own insecurities, as well, so I know that played a role in how I reacted. I was humiliated by how brilliant you are, how little you needed me, and how much you outshone me. I was jealous of how much you had achieved." Colin paused. He was trying, but a large part of him still felt like he wasn't quite good enough for Penelope. The fact that he seemed to have two versions of Penelope who cared for him was difficult to accept. He continued, "Even with all of that, what I said the night of Lady Danbury's soiree was true; within a few weeks from when I found out, all was well between us."

Penelope was still looking upset, when Lady Featherington's voice startled Colin. "Penelope, what is the meaning of this?" Colin had three emotions go through him at the same time. The first was frustration at not being able to be with Penelope when and how he wanted. The second was irritation that Lady Featherington hadn't seemed to notice Penelope's distress. The third was anger that Lady Featherington seemed to think whatever impropriety was happening was Penelope's fault.

Colin got up and turned toward Lady Featherington. Colin hated lying and was terrible at it, but he could stretch the truth to serve his purposes. "I apologize for my behavior. Penelope was upset about something that happened with Eloise. I merely wanted to assure her that all was well. In fact, if it is alright with you, I am to escort her back to Bridgerton House so that they may spend some time together." He glanced toward Penelope, and she gave him the tiniest of nods.

Lady Featherington sighed dramatically and looked toward Penelope. "You mustn't get so emotional, Penelope. What must Mr. Bridgerton think?"

Colin had spent quite a bit of time with Penelope's mother since his marriage and especially since the birth of his son. He was grateful that his wife and her mother had been able to have some type of reconciliation and were committed to improving their relationship. Portia was also a doting grandmother, for which he gave her credit. Colin had forgotten how much she had improved in the time he had known her. He hated the way she spoke to Penelope, and Colin wanted nothing more than to again yell and drag Penelope out of this house. He knew this was not the time, so he simply said, "I do not find it a weakness to care deeply for one's friend. Since Eloise is my sister, I am doubly grateful that she has such a true friend in Penelope."

Lady Featherington gave Penelope one final look before saying, "Your kindness toward my Penelope does you credit, Mr. Bridgerton. I am grateful for you taking the time to escort her when I am sure you have much more important things to be doing."

Gesturing toward Penelope to stand up and put her arm in his, Colin started walking but paused as they reached Lady Featherington. Meeting her eyes, he said, "Nothing is more important than Penelope."

Once they were out on the street, Colin addressed Penelope, "I hope it is ok that I'm bringing you to Bridgerton House." At Penelope's small nod, he continued, "I genuinely forgot how loathsome your mother can be. Your relationship had improved substantially by the last I remember of 1816."

Penelope looked surprised. "How did that happen?"

Colin frowned. "I'm not entirely sure. I think things had started to change during our engagement. During the weeks immediately following our wedding, after your mother found out about Lady Whistledown and the blackmail, you spent a lot of time with her and had some heartfelt discussions. She is certainly not perfect, but she does not speak to you like that anymore. I have not heard her do so since the day after our betrothal."

"What happened then?"

"You had been angry at your mother, so you let her find out about our engagement by reading about it in Whistledown."

Penelope laughed. "Did I get to see her reaction?"

Colin shook his head. "Unfortunately, no, but you did get to hear your sisters' husbands reading the column aloud to your sisters and your mother. I believe both your sisters choked on their tea."

Penelope couldn't help but smile. "Mama must have been furious."

Colin nodded. "I did not hear all of what she said to you that day, and I never asked you to recount it. When I arrived at your house, she was yelling at you about using your wiles to entrap me." Penelope flinched.

Colin felt prouder than he should have about the next part. "I still remember exactly what I said, if you would like to hear." Penelope nodded. "When I first came in, she tried to play it off a bit, saying it was an unexpected delight that I was there. I said I would not be staying long, but since we were all speaking so freely, and before I could get further she interrupted about how what she said hadn't been meant for my ears. Here, I actually raised my voice to say I was still speaking." Penelope looked shocked. Colin considered that this version of Penelope might have only ever heard him raise his voice in squabbles with his siblings when he was much younger. "Then I said, 'Your daughter did not entrap me. I proposed to her out of love, nothing less. And were you not so narrowly concerned over your own standing, you might see that Penelope is the most eligible amongst you. In the future, I advise you not to sully our Bridgerton name by suggesting otherwise.'"

Penelope looked at him with awe, much like her future counterpart had. Colin knew he shouldn't be so happy about that, but he couldn't help but enjoy how he felt when she looked at him like that. Before he could examine it more, they had reached Bridgerton House. Eloise was in the foyer when they entered, and Colin excused himself so that she and Penelope could have some time together.

Later that afternoon, Colin entered the drawing room to find Penelope sitting by herself. He was both surprised and pleased. Sitting beside her, he asked, "Where is Eloise?"

Penelope shook her head slightly and said, "I have no idea. Gregory and Hyacinth dragged her off for something."

Colin was unsurprised by his siblings' antics. "Since we have a bit of time, I would like to talk more about Eloise. This is not a pleasant story." Penelope swallowed and nodded for him to continue. "In the 1814 season I remember, Eloise was still upset by the time she attended the ball at your family's house at the end of the season. I did not hear any of this story until much later, but you decided to cheer her up by sharing some gossip you had heard. Unfortunately, the wording sounded familiar." Penelope cringed as if she knew what was coming. "Eloise disappeared, and you did not realize right away because you were with me in the drawing room, and then we went back to the ball and danced." Penelope smiled slightly. Colin continued, "You left the ball to head back to your room and came in to find Eloise ransacking it. She confronted you about being Lady Whistledown, and you two had a vicious argument. The kind of argument you can only have with someone who knows you very well and who therefore knows how to cut you the deepest. When she left, she said she never wanted to see or speak to you again."

Penelope smiled sadly. "That sounds awful."

Colin smiled slightly. "It has a happy enough ending. You and Eloise reconciled around the time of our wedding and were still close in 1816." Penelope looked relieved.

At that moment, Hyacinth ran into the room with Eloise hot on her heels. Colin missed what they were shouting about, since his attention was focused on Penelope. With one final glance toward him, she jumped up and threw her arms around Eloise. Eloise was taken aback but hugged Penelope back. With a roll of her eyes, Eloise asked, "What has my brother done to make you need to hug me like that?"

Penelope hugged her tighter. "He just reminded me how lucky I am to have you as my dearest friend."

"Hmm," Eloise nodded, "it would be tragic if Colin were your dearest friend. I can see why you would need comfort."

As Penelope prepared to head back home, Colin was able to pull her aside briefly. In a whisper, he said, "I presume that Lady Whistledown is adept at sneaking out at night?" Penelope nodded hesitantly. "There was one more thing I wanted to talk about before my family leaves for Aubrey Hall tomorrow, since it has to do with what happened right when you first arrived there in the 1814 of my memory. Would you be able to sneak over to the gardens here around midnight?" Penelope nodded again. "Good," Colin said with a smile, "I shall look forward to it." Before she could walk away, Colin grabbed her hand and kissed it.

Colin smiled when he saw Penelope approaching. She greeted him with a quiet "Good evening."

Colin said, "Thank you for meeting me. I thought of this earlier today and wanted to talk to you about it before I left. In the 1814 I remember, I visited Lady Crane on the day you arrived, since I had just found out she lives close to Aubrey Hall." Penelope raised her eyebrows. Colin chuckled. "I don't think you or Eloise thought it was a good idea last time either. I had wanted to apologize for—"

Penelope interrupted incredulously, "You apologized to her? Why would you think that was needed?"

Colin shrugged. "I think I thought it would bring closure, and I was somewhat unkind to her the last time I spoke to her. The whole trip was foolish, and I'm tempted not to repeat it, except for one reason. I ended up talking at length to Sir Phillip about the plants in Greece, and—"

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Yes, well, I really liked him. Shortly after my wedding, we started corresponding. By Elliot's birth, I considered him a friend, and for reasons I cannot quite explain, I feel like it's important to maintain that friendship if I can." Penelope smiled and nodded before Colin continued, "I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I know it is not fair to judge what your opinions might be based on the Penelope I knew in 1816, but it pained her that she was never able to fully reconcile with Marina."

Penelope nodded and looked grateful. "I would really like that. I know it might be awkward for you, but I would very much like the chance to speak with her."

Colin smiled before grimacing slightly. "I was thinking we should ask Eloise to accompany us. Partly, we need a chaperone, which I am certainly coming to resent the constant need for but will accept, for now. Mostly I know Eloise was very excited when you joined us at Aubrey Hall in the 1814 I remember, since she was tired of the rest of us by then. I cannot imagine she would want to be separated from you for hours on end so you could go off with me."

Penelope smiled. "I think Eloise will be happy to not spend the day with debutantes and suitors."

Laughing, Colin said, "I believe you are correct."

After a pause, Penelope said, "May I ask you something?"

Colin nodded. "Of course."

Penelope nervously bit her lip before asking, "You said before you don't know when you fell in love with my future counterpart, but you did know the moment you realized that you had. When was it?"

Colin answered in a low voice, "The moment I kissed you."

The air between them changed. Colin knew then that he desperately wanted to kiss this Penelope. It wasn't that he missed his wife, and this person was similar enough; nor was it some nostalgia for the Penelope he had known in 1814. He wanted to kiss this Penelope, who believed his outlandish story about time travel, who agreed to help him without knowing the details, who kept asking him questions about the next two years and his marriage even when she didn't think she'd like the answers, who wouldn't put up with him withholding information, who insisted on being an equal partner, who was committed to solving complicated problems alongside him. He had already been certain that there wasn't a version of Penelope he wouldn't fall in love with, but in this moment he could admit to himself that he was indeed irrevocably in love with this version of Penelope.

Meanwhile, Penelope looked confused. "Why did you kiss me if you weren't sure about how you felt?"

Looking at her lips, Colin said, "Because you asked."

Penelope sounded breathless when she said, "Is that all it takes?"

"You said please. I couldn't say 'no'."

Penelope's breath was coming in soft pants, and he could see the desire in her eyes when he returned his gaze to them. Her eyes lowered to his lips. Surprising himself with the note of command in his voice, despite the low volume, Colin said, "Ask."

Penelope's eyes widened, and she whispered, "Kiss me, Colin. Please."

In Colin's heart of hearts, he had complicated feelings about his time travel. All at the same time, he grieved for Elliot, he was happy to potentially right some wrongs and mend some relationships, he missed the life he'd had, and he was excited to create something new in this time. All of these were true, but in this moment, he felt like the luckiest man alive. Who else got the chance to kiss the love of their life for the first time twice in their lifetimes? But unlike the last time, this time he knew. He knew he loved her. He knew that this moment would upend his life once again, and he was ecstatic.

Gently and reverently, Colin stroked Penelope's cheek until his fingertip rested underneath her chin. He tipped her face up and lowered his mouth to hers. The first kiss was gentle, barely a brush of lips. Then she let out the quietest moan, and Colin was lost. He could not help but deepen the kiss, moving his mouth against hers until they were both gasping for breath. He pulled away, simultaneously regretting that they weren't somewhere more private and thinking it was for the best. He was not sure how else he would have been able to stop himself from kissing her all night or from finding out what else Penelope might want.

Colin rested his forehead against hers for a moment before he pulled far enough away to catch her eye. Her eyes were shining in the darkness. He could see desire, but there was something else, too. Uncertainty, perhaps, or insecurity. Never taking his gaze from hers, he whispered, "I love you, Penelope, just as you are here and now."

With a quavering voice, Penelope asked, "Are you sure?"

Colin nodded and smiled. "Completely."

Penelope awoke with a smile on her face. Before she'd even opened her eyes, she'd put a hand to her mouth to trace her lips. She almost didn't believe that last night had happened. She'd found herself unsure around Colin all day. The stories he'd told her about Eloise and Lady Whistledown made her surprised that the version of her Colin knew in 1816 had been happily married to him and reconciled with Eloise. There had been so much sadness and strife to get there. The story about him yelling at her mother had filled her with awe and another wave of jealousy that her future counterpart had seen it and not her. Penelope knew there was more from the next two years that she had yet to hear, too. She hadn't quite known what to feel or think. But then Colin had asked her to meet him at night. She hadn't even dared to think that something intimate might happen, but a small part of her had hoped.

For many more years than she'd like to admit, she'd wondered what it would be like if Colin kissed her. Her imaginings were nothing compared to the reality. From the quiet way he told her to ask him to kiss her, to the way he touched her cheek and lifted her chin, to how excruciatingly slowly he leaned down toward her, the part leading up to the kiss was almost as enchanting as the kiss itself. Almost. The first moment had been so gentle. She was a little embarrassed by the sound she'd made, but Colin's reaction made it worthwhile. Penelope couldn't have imagined kissing feeling as good as it did. She didn't think she could ever grow weary of kissing Colin. She could only hope he felt the same about her.

Penelope was pacing restlessly in the drawing room as she thought. She had two days until they were to head to Aubrey Hall, and Penelope thought she would try to accomplish a few different things. She wanted to speak with Madame Delacroix and see if she could start forming the connection Colin had told her about. Penelope was excited about this. She knew things were different now than they had been in the time Colin described, and frankly, she hoped to avoid some of what happened, but the idea of forming a true friendship with another businesswoman was exciting. While she knew her friendship with Eloise hadn't been fully reconciled at the time, the idea that Madame Delacroix was the person her future counterpart chose to visit the night before her wedding made Penelope even more intrigued. Having a true friend, who was in some ways more like an equal than anyone in the ton, was an attractive concept. Penelope also hoped to listen and learn more about what was going on with Cousin Jack. More than that even, she hoped to come up with some plan for what to do, or failing that, a next step to take. So far, she hadn't thought of anything, though she could admit to herself that Colin had been a bit distracting. She hoped some time apart might allow her to focus, but she didn't hold out much hope when all she could think about was the feeling of his mouth on hers.

When her mother announced they were heading to the modiste, Penelope was nervous but hopeful about how the day would go. Of course, as soon as Cousin Jack left, her mother started worrying about who he might marry. It was only mere moments before Varley and her mother settled on Prudence being appropriately, as her mother put it, "stupid and malleable." Penelope had never liked Prudence much, and Prudence had been cruel to her throughout their lives, but Penelope was saddened to hear her mother describe Prudence like that. While her mother didn't know that Jack Featherington was a fraud, he was a stranger. Penelope wasn't certain if Prudence hoped for love in her marriage the way Philippa had found, or if she wanted to be more practical, but by any standards, this arrangement made Penelope feel bad for Prudence, even if their cousin weren't penniless. Her mother's top concern was clearly security, which wasn't all bad, but little did she know that Jack Featherington could not even provide that.

Later that day, Penelope found herself watching her mother try to teach her sister how to fan her bosom to draw Cousin Jack's eye. Even if she hadn't known all the details Colin had shared with her, Penelope was pretty sure she would've found this obnoxious. She knew her facial expressions made her opinions clear, but no one bothered to look at her, so they wouldn't have seen. Knowing the truth about Cousin Jack, it was even more sad and pitiful. All this over a man who had nothing and didn't care for any of them in slightest. She could not imagine that the conversation with Cousin Jack could have gone worse. When he went to leave and told them they were having dinner with the Cowpers that evening, Penelope fervently wished she had gone with the Bridgertons to Aubrey Hall.

Penelope glanced diagonally across the dinner table at Cressida. When Colin told her that a future version of Cressida had blackmailed a future version of Penelope, part of her hadn't been surprised. Cressida has always hated her. But another part of her wondered what had made her do it. Blackmail seemed like such a desperate thing, something you would only do if you felt like you had no choice. Penelope idly wondered what could have driven Cressida to make that decision. Out of some bizarre sense of loyalty to the version of her that Colin had married, Penelope thought that having Cressida marry a penniless man would be gratifying. Unfortunately, perhaps, the idea of letting Cressida be Lady Featherington was something Penelope didn't think she could stand. She noticed that when Cressida asked about the mines, Cousin Jack didn't really answer. He distracted with an invitation to promenade at Rotten Row. Now that Penelope knew, his ability to evade questions he didn't want to answer or couldn't answer was notable.

Penelope was no wiser on what to do about this situation. The problem was that there just wasn't money. It wasn't like money had been stolen from the Featheringtons or was tied up in some will or entail with strange restrictions, and the goal was to get it back. In Colin's first experience of 1814, Cousin Jack and her mother had stolen money because they saw no other way. Penelope could see their argument. Ethics aside, it had solved the problem. She wasn't sure if Colin truly understood this. He'd seen the ledgers, of course, and he said he didn't want her family to be destitute, and she believed him. She had trouble with knowing if Colin could ever truly imagine eating potatoes for weeks on end because that was the only choice. Of course, Penelope realized she was also very lucky for all that she had, but she wasn't sure if Colin really understood that her mother had done what she felt she had to under bad circumstances, not just because she had been taken advantage of by a bad man or had questionable morals. It occurred to Penelope then that her mother was making bad choices, like trying to get Prudence to marry Cousin Jack, because her mother didn't have the information she needed to make a better choice. Maybe that was the key. They could tell her mother that Cousin Jack was penniless. Hopefully, if Colin told her and she knew a Bridgerton was involved, they could convince her that doing something rash would have consequences. With that thought, she knew she had to talk to Colin about sharing some of this information with her mother and making sure she knew at least one Bridgerton would hold her accountable.

Colin supposed if he had to relive two days of his past without Penelope anywhere nearby, these two days weren't bad choices. He adored any time when he was able to be with all his siblings, and the addition of Kate and Edwina made it more interesting. The game of pall-mall, the experience of Benedict after having much more of Colin's special tea that he should have, and one of the more awkward dinners he could recall, somehow combined into an exceptionally fond memory when viewed from hindsight. He could only hope the reality lived up to his remembrance.

As soon as Daphne entered the drawing room with Augie in her arms, Colin stood and headed toward them. He was incredibly glad to see his sister. Daphne knew him better than anyone besides Penelope and being with Daphne always made him feel a little more like himself, which was something he could certainly use right now.

Colin had worried that being around Augie would be difficult, since he was a baby not too different in age than Elliot had been when Colin had last seen him. To Colin's delight, it wasn't. The baby was Augie, and that seemed to make all the difference. Colin knew Augie. The last time Colin had seen him, he had just turned two. He was full of opinions and always wanted his Uncle Colin to play hide-and-seek with him. The rules seemed to change slightly every single time, and Colin was never quite certain what they were, but he had loved it and looked forward to playing games like this with his own children. Colin wryly thought that many parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles would love to go back in time on occasion to get to hold a certain child as a baby again. While Colin was devastated to be separated from his own child through actual time travel, he couldn't deny that once again holding baby Augie filled him with an indescribable joy. Colin loved Augie, and from the moment he scooped him out of Eloise's arms yet again, he knew he was going to hold Augie even more than he had the first time he'd lived through this trip to Aubrey Hall. He remembered being teased by Eloise and Francesca over his attachment to Augie back then, but this time he found he didn't care. He would hold Augie every moment he could, and if his sisters teased him, so be it.

When the entire family went out to greet the Sharmas and Lady Danbury, Colin realized he couldn't quite remember who he had greeted first two years ago. When he saw Anthony already talking, or maybe arguing, with Kate, Colin headed to Edwina. He had always liked her and knowing that she had been kind to Penelope had only raised his estimation of her. He also felt a certain amount of guilt, since he knew Edwina would be hurt by some of the things Anthony did, even if Colin stepped in to try to influence things. When he reached her, he bowed slightly and said, "Miss Edwina, it is a pleasure that you were able to join us."

Edwina's smile was warm and genuine. "Mr. Bridgerton, I am happy to be here."

Since Colin wanted to connect with her but did not want to look like he was placing himself in role of a competing suitor with Anthony, Colin decided to mention Penelope. "I believe you are acquainted with Penelope Featherington? She holds you in high regard, and anyone who has her esteem also has mine."

Edwina looked delighted. "I am glad to hear it! She is a beautiful young woman." With a thoughtful pause, Edwina added, "though she is not as confident in that fact as she perhaps should be."

"I could not agree more. We shall have to remind her when she arrives in a few days." As they continued to converse, Colin wondered if he should encourage a greater friendship between Penelope and Edwina. He also realized quite how difficult it would be to knowingly let Edwina be hurt. When he looked back at these memories from the distance of two years, he had thought he might be able to do it, but standing face-to-face with her was a different experience entirely.

Before long, it was time to head back inside to prepare for pall-mall. Finding himself next to Lady Danbury and Augie, Colin reached for the baby. Lady Danbury handed him over with a curious look, which Colin ignored as he smiled at his nephew and walked back into the house.

Reliving this particular match of pall-mall was another part of Colin's time travel which cheered him. When Kate chose the mallet of death, Colin commented that Anthony had beat him the last time he touched it, which seemed like what he might have said last time. When Kate said, "I know some men cannot perform without their familiar tools, like a child with a blanket," Colin knew he had chuckled last time, but this time he laughed fully. Kate glanced away from Anthony to give him a wide smile, while Anthony turned to glare at him. The glare had been worth it. Colin adored Kate. He liked Simon and John and figured he would like any of his siblings' future spouses, but he had a feeling Kate would always be his favorite.

Once they started playing, Colin realized he had forgotten how good Kate was at this game. She was competitive and clearly focusing on beating Anthony, but she was a natural. Colin had played pall-mall with her since, of course, but seeing that this was her first game, he was impressed all over again. The rest of the match went much as Colin had remembered. Even last time, Colin knew his facial expressions toward Anthony had not been well controlled. This time he feared he might have been even more impolite. Watching Anthony be this foolish for a second time was almost more than Colin could stand. He was saddened by his conversation with Benedict, knowing how heartbreaking his experience at art school would be.

When Kate had the opportunity to best Anthony, Colin remembered that the first time, he had halfheartedly encouraged sportsmanship. Kate had, of course, not gone that route, so Colin figured to go with the flow this time. Smiling he said, "Miss Sharma, one must never pass up the opportunity to best Lord Bridgerton when one has the chance."

Grinning back at him, Kate said, "I knew you were clever, Mr. Bridgerton. I shall take your sage advice." Anthony glared at him again. Colin smiled wider.

When Edwina accidently hit her ball into some shrubbery shortly thereafter, Colin decided to do something different than last time. When Anthony made no move to follow, Colin did nothing. Edwina left, looking downcast. Like last time, Colin sent Anthony's ball after Kate's, and he goaded his brother, but this time, once when they were gone, he went after Edwina. He caught up with her about halfway back to where their mothers were. "Miss Edwina," he called, "may I walk back with you?"

"Have you decided to leave the game?" she asked.

Colin smiled. "I've accomplished what I expected, which is never quite as much as I hoped." He held out his arm for her to take.

She laughed as she took it. "I see you are an honest man, Mr. Bridgerton. Now, you must tell me about how you first met your Penelope." Colin happily took the opportunity to talk about Penelope, and the rest of the stroll back was pleasant. When they approached where their mothers and Lady Danbury sat, all three women looked confused by the pairing in front of them. Colin was uncertain if Penelope would approve of what he was about to say in front of Lady Danbury of all people, but he didn't want anyone to make the wrong assumptions. "Miss Edwina has recently made the acquaintance of Miss Penelope Featherington. As my mother knows, I never pass up an opportunity to speak fondly of Penelope, so I was simply sharing how we first met at Miss Edwina's request. Since the story is embarrassing only to me, I am confident Penelope won't mind."

Edwina smiled at him before releasing his arm. "I look forward to spending more time with her once she arrives." Colin took his leave of the ladies, pleased that he could make Edwina smile and hopeful that he and Penelope could support Edwina with their friendship, if nothing else.

That night, Colin had strange dreams, involving both versions of Penelope. While he could imagine dreams involving multiple Penelopes which would be quite enjoyable, these weren't that kind of dream. Colin woke in the small hours of the morning feeling unsettled. He couldn't get back to sleep, so he decided to go find a book or something else to keep him occupied. As he walked by the nursery, he heard slight whimpers from the bassinet where Augie slept. Hoping to allow Daphne her rest, Colin went in and gently lifted Augie. As soon as he was settled on Colin's chest, Augie settled back down and continued to sleep. Colin sat down in a rocking chair to hold Augie while he slept.

An hour later, Daphne came in to check on her son and was surprised to find Colin there with him. She paused and took a few moments to look at them together before whispering, "Brother, I did not expect to see you here."

Colin responded with a whisper of his own. "I could not sleep and heard fussing on my way by. I hoped to at least let you rest a little longer."

Daphne regarded him thoughtfully. "You've changed, Colin. You are different from when I last saw you."

Aware of the sleeping baby, Colin was careful not to react too much. If any of his siblings would notice a change in him, it would be Daphne. They had always been close, and she was observant. All he said was, "Perhaps."

Daphne sat in another chair and regarded him holding Augie. "I do hope you're not thinking of Marina and how things could have been."

Colin frowned. He hadn't thought much about Marina's children in years, though he supposed he'd get to see them soon. "No, that's not it." He smiled before truthfully saying, "I'd never been an uncle before Augie. I held our younger siblings when they were little, but I was a child, too. Augie is my nephew and your son, and that makes him very dear to me. I know it is sentimental, and I won't hold it against you if you tease me, but nothing makes me happier at this moment than being with him."

Daphne smiled slightly. "I do believe we are all rather hard on you sometimes. Your sensitivity is admirable."

"Hmm, now you sound like Mother," Colin said with a soft chuckle. Daphne rolled her eyes at him, and they sat in companionable silence until Augie awoke and began to cry. Colin stood up and said, "I believe someone is hungry. I shall leave you to it." He gently handed Augie to Daphne and headed back to his room. Colin slept soundly the rest of the night.

If Penelope were being honest, she often wasn't sure what to do with her voice. She seemed more aware of it than other people were. Much of the time, it seemed too high-pitched, and she wasn't sure why. She thought it might have been nerves or subconsciously clinging to her girlhood, especially last year when she had not wanted to debut. She knew she stammered when she was truly out of her depth and often didn't know what to say, and what she did say often was the wrong thing. Walking into the modiste's this morning, Penelope felt confident. Right now, she wasn't Miss Penelope, who was nervous in many social situations and only seemed to be able to talk at ease with people named Bridgerton. No, today she was a businesswoman, and her business was very successful. She was positioned to help Madame Delacroix and make a bargain which helped them both. Consequently, Penelope wasn't surprised to hear her own voice coming out sounding natural and mature. Perhaps because of her preoccupation with her own voice, Penelope also paid a lot of attention to voices. She had known since her first trip to the modiste that Madame Delacroix's French accent was fake, but that didn't stop Penelope from being shocked when Madame Delacroix dropped her French accent when they decided to work together. Penelope smiled genuinely. Honest communication, including the sound of their own voices, was certainly a good way to start this relationship.

In the morning, Colin walked into the drawing room and found Kate sitting by herself. Colin smiled and greeted her. "I am happy to see you this morning, Miss Sharma. I have not gotten much of a chance to speak with you much yet."

She smiled tightly. "I presume the viscount instructed all of you to charm both me and my sister?"

Colin chuckled and said, "Perhaps, though I would like to think I do not need to be reminded to be welcoming to guests in our home."

Kate's smile became more genuine. "It does not surprise me that your brother underestimates his family as much as the rest of us."

Colin laughed before he could stop himself and then shook his head. "Anthony is very particular about how he thinks things should be done. He is not shy about sharing his opinions." Colin paused thinking of Eloise, Daphne, and Hyacinth. "Admittedly, a few of us also share that trait with him, loath that we are to admit it."

"I see Edwina did not lie when she said you were honest."

At that point, Anthony walked in. Upon seeing them, he snapped, "Colin, what are you doing here?"

Smiling, Colin replied, "I believe I am sitting in the drawing room of my family's country estate. I had thought I was allowed to be here." Anthony scoffed, and Colin continued, "I do believe you had instructed us to win over both of the Sharma sisters. I was simply doing my part."

Kate said, "I now see which brother inherited all the charm."

Teasingly, Colin said, "Come now, do not underestimate Benedict and Gregory. The latter, especially, can be quite charming indeed."

Kate laughed and replied, "Of that, I have no doubt."

With a huff, Anthony left the room.

If Colin were a better brother, particularly to Anthony and maybe also to Benedict, he might have stopped Benedict from having quite so much of the tea Colin had brought back from Greece. The glares Anthony had given him and Benedict two years ago had been some of the harshest Colin had seen, and he could still chuckle about it all this time later. Perhaps that was why he liked Kate so much; she also enjoyed vexing Anthony. Knowing exactly what would happen, Colin handed the bag over to Benedict and told him, "Perhaps it will allow you to escape the thoughts that've been plaguing your mind. The doubts, the questions that seems to linger, no matter how far you go to escape them."

Benedict looked at him quizzically. "Are you quite well, Brother?"

Both this time and last time, the honest answer to that would have been complicated, not precisely a 'yes' or a 'no', but like the first time Colin had lived through this, he deflected, "You will see. This tea is quite the elixir. On one occasion, in Paxos, I found myself mediating for hours upon a single blade of grass." When Benedict dumped the whole bag into his tea, Colin chuckled in delight.

After that night's dinner, which had gone as hilariously poorly as he remembered, Colin went to find Benedict. He missed seeing Benedict paint. It had taken him longer to locate Benedict last time, so he had arrived only shortly before Eloise, but this time Colin arrived earlier. Benedict did not seem to see him come in at first, so Colin took a moment to really look at his brother. Even clearly affected by the tea, he concentrated on his art in a way that Colin found admirable. Colin did not need another problem to solve, so he was not going to get involved in Benedict's art school problems, but Colin wondered if there would be a way to encourage him more in the months and years to follow.

Even completely sober, Benedict had always been the most affectionate of his brothers. On the night before Colin's wedding, Benedict had kissed him on the head before he left Colin at the club. He had shrugged Benedict off at the time and not confided in him or returned the affection, but it had meant a lot to him. After their father died, Anthony had started acting, well, paternal with all his siblings beside Benedict. Colin had never taken it well. He remembered their father well and had no interest in the version of fatherhood Anthony tried to embody, which to Colin had come across as much more patronizing than their father ever had. Benedict, on the other hand, offered affection. It was brotherly, but it also reminded Colin a bit of their father. Colin never doubted that Benedict loved him. He did doubt whether Benedict loved himself.

Soon enough, Eloise came in with the letter. While Benedict was distracted, Colin used this opportunity, as he had last time, to discuss Lady Crane with his sister. "Eloise, I have a proposition for you." She looked at him with raised eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. "Penelope and I were thinking about going to see Lady Crane tomorrow, and I wanted to ask if you would like to join us."

Eloise looked puzzled. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Brother?"

Colin shrugged. "I was unkind to her in my last conversation and wanted to apologize. When I mentioned this to Pen, she expressed a desire to visit. She thinks the idea of me apologizing to be just as foolish as you, but she is also saddened by the way she left things with Marina."

"Why would you invite me? I hardly knew her, and then she hurt you. You might not be my favorite brother, but I do not like to see people be cruel to you."

Colin rolled his eyes. "I can't very well go with Penelope on my own, can I?"

Eloise shook her head. "I suppose not, as silly as it is."

Not wanting to get into a conversation on the unfair rules of society, no matter how much he agreed, Colin said, "Penelope thought you might relish a day away from other debutantes and the suitors that mother might send your way."

"Ah," said Eloise with a wide smile, "Penelope is rather clever, is she not?"

After he and Eloise successfully cajoled Benedict to bed, Colin returned to the drawing room. Since it was so late at night, he expected it to be empty, but he found Daphne there. She looked up as he came in, and he went and sat with her on a settee. She turned toward him and expressed the same sentiment she had last night, "Brother, you really do seem different." Colin just hummed in response. "I know I have not seen you since you returned from Greece, so maybe it is just your travels. Did something happen?"

Colin tried to smile casually as he said, "I could bore you to sleep with some of my tales about Greece, if you need help finding rest."

Daphne scoffed. "I do not think that is it. You seem older, somehow." At this Colin raised his eyebrows. "Do not take offense, brother. I mean it as a compliment. Mostly, at least. Compared to the last time I saw you, you seem much surer of who you are. You do not deflect with humor as often, except for just now. Not that you aren't witty, of course."

"Of course," said Colin with a small smile.

Daphne continued, "But there is something else, too. There is a sadness there. If I had not seen you after everything that happened with Marina, I might think it was heartbreak over your failed engagement. But you weren't heartbroken then. Not really. You were embarrassed and betrayed, a bit angry, but I never believed you truly loved her."

"No," replied Colin, "I did not."

Daphne was silent for a moment. "You almost seem like you are in mourning but attempting to hide it."

Colin swallowed and fought back tears. He very much wanted to confide in Daphne at that moment. While he knew he made the correct decision to tell Penelope, there were certain topics he couldn't discuss with her. He loved this version of Penelope completely. He had been truthful when he said that to her. But he also missed the version of Penelope he had known in 1816, who had been hurt by his callous comments in his first experience of 1814, who had yelled at him outside Lady Danbury's ball in 1815 and again the night before their wedding, who had experienced what he truly hoped was the worst of him and chose him anyway, who had helped him with his book, who had borne him a son, and who needed nothing from him but his love. Loving the Penelope he had come to know in this 1814 didn't erase the love he had for the version of Penelope he had known before. Additionally, this Penelope sympathized when he spoke about Elliot, but this Penelope had never been a mother. Colin imagined that Daphne would empathize with his grief for his son in a way that would be more difficult for someone without children.

As he sat in silence, Daphne reached toward him and squeezed his forearm. "You can tell me, brother."

Colin lost the ability to control his tears. Voice breaking, he said, "I would not know where to begin." Without a word, Daphne moved closer and embraced him. For the first time since he had found himself back in 1814, Colin allowed himself to weep.

The next morning, Colin awoke with a smile on his face. There had been something cathartic about his conversation with Daphne the night before. Perhaps a grown man should be embarrassed about sobbing on his little sister's shoulder, but Colin could not bring himself to regret it. After getting back to his room last night, he had fallen asleep quickly. His dreams had been pleasant indeed, and yes, some involved both versions of Penelope at the same time. Mostly he dreamed of simply kissing this Penelope, of that tiny moan she had made the moment his lips brushed hers. He was impatient for her to arrive later today. Unsurprisingly, that was partly because he wanted to kiss her again. He didn't think he would ever grow weary of kissing her. Even with the house full of guests, he knew of several places in Aubrey Hall where they would be very unlikely to be disturbed, and he hoped to find himself with her in one of those places at least once while she was here. A large part of his impatience, however, was because he wanted to talk to Penelope. He wanted to hear what she had learned, how her last two days had been, what clever ideas she had come up with, and hopefully, how much she had missed him.

As he lay there, an idea occurred to Colin. Maybe he and Penelope could tell Daphne. Leaving out certain details, especially about Eloise and Lady Whistledown, but Daphne might be helpful in determining what actions could be taken in the Featherington situation, since she was a duchess. She might also have some ideas about Anthony. Colin would not tell her anything without discussing it with Penelope first, but he decided to ask her what she thought when she got here later today. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. If someone had asked him which of his sisters was cleverest, he probably would have said Eloise, but Daphne could be clever, too. She was very different than Eloise, but Daphne had taken to being a duchess with aplomb and knew how to work within society to accomplish things, like finding out what had happened to George Crane the year before. Perhaps her type of cleverness would be exactly what he and Penelope needed to formulate a plan that would work.

9

As Penelope ran down the slope toward Eloise with a bit of a squeal, Colin realized he had made a terrible mistake. Penelope looked beautiful in a lime green dress and with her hair partly down in a similar style to ones she wore in 1815 and 1816. The last time Colin had seen her, he'd kissed her, and now he was seeing her again in front of the entire ton. He wanted to kiss her right here and now, in front of everyone. Clearly, that was impossible, but he desperately wished it weren't. The mistake, the more he thought about it, was that he knew this would happen. He had lived this moment before, but he had not tried to intercept her earlier. The guests had come from their carriages and gone into the house to get settled before coming out here. He could have surely found a moment to be alone with her before this conversation. He had not thought this through at all.

Eloise expressed her relief that Penelope was there, saying, "With only my own family to speak to, I've begun talking to the trees."

Colin repeated the same pun he'd used last time, "Is she calling me wooden?"

He was rewarded with Penelope's giggle as she said, "I do not think so."

After Eloise claimed that she could call him much worse, the conversation returned to the topic of Eloise's pamphlets on women's rights and Mr. Theo Sharpe. Colin again found himself frustrated with his sister and hoped Penelope might be able to dissuade her from getting mixed up such dangerous dealings. Of course, Penelope hadn't succeeded last time, so unless they came up with some way to change things, he wasn't especially hopeful.

His mother came up to them and said, "Eloise, Penelope. I think you will find we have much to offer the young ladies today."

Colin responded, "Actually, mother, the three of us were planning to go and pay a visit to Lady Crane today."

Violet looked at him with surprise and concern. She looked questioningly between him and Penelope. Penelope jumped in, "Lady Bridgerton, I had not known that Marina lived so near to Aubrey Hall until a few days ago. We did not part on the best of terms last year, as you might imagine, since I did not want Colin to be hurt. Despite that significant lapse in judgement, she was also very kind to me in her time staying with my family and was more of a sister to me than my own sisters. I very much would like to visit her and make sure she is well."

Violet smiled softly at Penelope. "Of course, dear. Your kindness does you credit."

"Thank you, Lady Bridgerton."

As Violet walked away, Edwina stood up from where she'd been talking to Anthony and approached. "Penelope, I am happy to see you again." Penelope smiled brightly as Edwina continued, "Your dress is again beautiful. I hope it is a color less wearying."

Penelope giggled. "It is still awfully citrusy, but I do prefer green. Thank you, Edwina. You look lovely as well."

After a few minutes of friendly conversation, Edwina went to rejoin Anthony. Colin, Eloise, and Penelope realized it was nearly time for them to depart.

Colin was relieved when they headed into the house to get ready for their journey. As soon as Eloise turned toward her room, Colin yanked Penelope into the next sitting room they passed. Seeing it empty, he shut the door and turned to Penelope. After kissing her hand, he said, "I missed you."

Penelope smiled brightly. "And I, you."

At the same time, they said, "I had an idea."

Colin gestured for Penelope to go first, so she said, "We should tell my mother about Cousin Jack. Well, really I think you should tell her." Colin looked thoughtful as she continued, "My mother is far from perfect, as you know, but she's clever. She also cares about standing and status. We know she would be willing to do things that we are not, but if she knows that Cousin Jack has no money, she certainly won't try to have Prudence marry him. If she knows that you know about the mines and are paying attention, I do not think she'd be bold enough to steal from the ton."

"What about Miss Cowper? Would your mother allow Miss Cowper to wed your cousin?"

"My mother hates the Cowpers. She was close to Lady Cowper shortly after my debut, but after everything that happened that year, Lady Cowper gave her the cut direct multiple times. My mother does not easily forget a slight. She could never want Cressida as Lady Featherington."

Colin nodded thoughtfully. "May I consider it before I give my opinion?"

Penelope smiled. "Of course. Now tell me your idea."

"It's like yours in some ways. I was thinking we should tell Daphne."

Penelope furrowed her brow. "How much?"

Colin sighed. "I'm not entirely sure. I think as a duchess she could be useful with your family's situation, especially if removing the current Lord Featherington or finding a new one becomes necessary." Penelope nodded, and Colin continued, "I have thought about telling her more. Specifically, about the time travel. I would like her help with Anthony. Spending time these last few days with Miss Edwina and Kate has made me less enthusiastic about the idea of letting everything happen as it did before. Among other things, we'd be allowing Kate to get a head injury, and Miss Edwina is really much too kind for me to want her to be hurt if there is something we might do to lessen it."

Penelope chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Would you tell Daphne about us?"

With a shrug, Colin said, "I'd like to, but I don't want to do anything that causes you discomfort. I don't think we should tell her about Eloise or Lady Whistledown for now, unless we think Eloise is in real danger."

Penelope nodded, and then her face brightened. "That is it! I think you should tell Daphne, and then Daphne should come with us to tell my mother. Then she will know both that a duchess is watching and that a duchess wants to help."

Colin was quiet while he thought. "Let's think about it today, and we can talk to Daphne when we get back, if we decide that's best." Penelope murmured her agreement. Colin moved closer and said, "There was one other thing before we go back to meet Eloise." Penelope tilted her head back to maintain eye contact. "The last time we saw each other, I kissed you." Penelope nodded. "I would very much like to do so again."

Penelope whispered, "Please."

Colin had planned to be gentle, to kiss her just once, to remind her of how special she was to him, and yes, to feel her mouth on his one time before the next several hours when he couldn't kiss her. But then, as he bent down to kiss her, Penelope had risen on tiptoe to meet him halfway. Once their mouths touched, he groaned. He kissed her deeply and with much less restraint than he'd planned. Logically, he knew that kissing this Penelope should feel the same as kissing any other version of her. It was, quite literally, the same mouth. But some combination of his lips, his body, and his heart hadn't fully gotten the message. She was indeed Penelope, who excited him like no one else, but there was something about being in this beginning stage of intimacy that felt delicate. It was a heady and indescribable combination. He backed her into the wall behind her and pressed his body against hers. When she gasped, he pulled away and tried desperately to collect himself. He rested his forehead against hers as they caught their breath. "We have to go," he said, and he was rather embarrassed by how whiny his voice sounded.

Penelope was breathless when she replied, "I wish we could stay like this."

Kissing her gently before pulling away again, Colin said, "Do not tempt me. There is nothing I would like more."

After a few moments to straighten themselves, they left to go find Eloise.

Colin sat across from Eloise and Penelope in the carriage. They were chatting happily, while he tried to act normal. He realized he had made another terrible mistake. He had kissed Penelope again. He had felt her body pressed against his for just a moment before sense returned to him. But his body and his heart were screaming at him to kiss her again, to do more than kiss, to make her his in every way he could. And now, he was in a carriage with her. He knew lot of ways to have fun with Penelope in a carriage. The night he proposed to the other Penelope was just the first of many pleasurable carriage rides they had shared. He'd like to know if this Penelope agreed. But there was one glaring problem: Eloise. He was in a carriage with both Penelope and Eloise on the way to see a woman to whom he had been betrothed. He had not thought this day through at all.

Penelope and Eloise had fallen into a companionable silence when Eloise turned her head suddenly from looking out the window to gaze at Penelope. "Last year, it was Marina, wasn't it? The maid in your household who was unmarried and with child. It was never a maid. You were talking about Marina the whole time."

Penelope's brow was furrowed. "I should have thought that was obvious once the truth came out." Colin had to agree with Penelope. Again, Eloise was exceptionally smart, but she occasionally missed things that were right in front of her. If he were honest with himself, however, he had also given little thought to whether Penelope had known until he found out she was Lady Whistledown. If he had thought about it at all, it was mostly that he should have listened to her when she tried to speak to him and tell him Marina was in love with another man.

Eloise, on the other hand, looked incredulous. "You knew all that time? Would you have just let Colin marry her?"

Penelope opened her mouth and closed it again. The answer was 'no' but since Eloise didn't know about Whistledown, Colin could tell Penelope was at a loss. Breaking the silence, Colin said, "She tried to tell me." Both women turned to him, as if only then remembering his presence. "The night Anthony, Mother, and I went to eat dinner at the Featheringtons, Penelope tried to tell me. I didn't listen well, Marina interrupted us, and I'm guessing Penelope was a little hesitant to go into, well, everything."

Eloise looked between the two of them before settling on Penelope. "What did you say?"

Penelope sighed. "Just that she was in love with another. Perhaps I should have been clearer, and maybe I would have been if Marina hadn't come out in the hallway. I did not know what to do, El."

Eloise looked frustrated. "But Pen, how could you let it get that far? They almost eloped."

Penelope looked like she was getting angry. "I did not have control over what Marina or Colin did. I begged Marina not to do what she was planning. I begged her to pick anyone besides Colin because he was too good, but then she asked if I would rather she marry someone who was bad or who treated her like a mere beast, and that gave me pause. I did not want her married to someone elderly or cruel. Marina had been dear to me. Until she became more serious about, well, seducing Colin—" Colin's eyebrows rose. He had known all of this, of course. In the weeks following his final reconciliation with his wife, they had spent days in bed together, and while much of that time was used for more amorous activities, a fair amount was spent talking. Colin was a bit surprised she had said it to Eloise. "—and we fought over it, she had been a good friend to me. I did not want to betray her. I did not want to bring scandal on my family. I also did not want to see Colin trapped in a marriage to her or tricked into a lifelong commitment, but he said he was in love with her. When I tried to speak to him, he was dismissive. What was I supposed to do?"

Eloise sighed. "I do not know. But I wish you had told him."

Nodding, Penelope said, "Me too." Eloise reached across and took Penelope's hand and squeezed to signal things were well between them. Penelope laughed slightly. "The night Colin rescued Marina from dancing with Lord Rutledge, and Marina decided she was going to marry Colin, she was so excited that with how close you and I are and her being my cousin that she said we'd all be like sisters when she married Colin. While I did not like her plan in the least, being like your sister would not have been so terrible."

Eloise playfully shoved her shoulder into Penelope's. "I supposed there could have been worse things."

Marina was surprised when she was told that she had guests and even more surprised when she was told who her guests were. As she approached where they were waiting, she heard Eloise's voice saying, "You truly did not tell her we were coming? You and Pen decided on this before we left Mayfair."

Colin scoffed. "I did not think of it."

Penelope's voice joined in, "I must agree with her, Colin." Her voice turned affectionate and teasing, warmer and deeper than Marina could ever recall hearing it, as Penelope said, "I know you can write letters. Long ones. Detailed ones. Beautiful ones. But 'Dear Lady Crane, my sister Eloise, your cousin Penelope, and I hope to visit you while we are staying at Aubrey Hall. Regards, Mr. Colin Bridgerton' was not something you thought to do?" Penelope then broke into giggles, and Colin joined in laughing almost immediately. When she turned into the room, both Penelope and Colin were smiling at each other. Eloise was looking between the two of them as if she was trying to figure out what was happening. Marina shared the sentiment.

Colin glanced in her direction and bowed politely. "Ah, Lady Crane. My apologies for the surprise. Eloise and Penelope have just informed me how rude we are being. Please forgive us." Marina's initial impression was that there was something different about Colin from when she had last seen him. He had always been charming, but there had been something boyish, and perhaps even childish, about him. There had been insecurity lurking not far beneath the surface. If she were honest with herself, it was one of the reasons she had thought he would be a good option. She had liked him, he was kind, and he certainly was handsome, but she also knew he would be flattered by her attention and eager for her approval in a way that many men wouldn't be. But the Colin before her now had none of that childishness or insecurity. He was still charming and handsome. There was still a kindness to his eyes that spoke to his goodness. He even mostly looked the same. But he was different. This man would not have been easy to entrap into an engagement.

Penelope smiled genuinely and started toward her. Marina had the distinct impression that Penelope would have thrown her arms around her if Marina hadn't been holding Oliver. Colin, to Marina's surprise, saw Penelope's intention at the same moment. Aided by his longer stride, he stepped around Penelope, raised his eyebrows at Marina, and said, "May I?" while gesturing at Oliver. Marina nodded, more in surprise than understanding, and Colin lifted Oliver into his arms. Penelope immediately launched herself forward and clung to Marina. Marina was stiff at first but soon relaxed into the hug. Penelope had always given the best hugs.

Murmuring into Penelope's hair, Marina said, "Pen, I am pleased to see you."

"And I, you." Pulling away and turning toward Colin and Oliver, Penelope asked Oliver, "And who might this be?" Finally looking at the pair, Marina was struck by how comfortable Colin seemed holding Oliver. Many young men seemed so awkward when forced to hold young children, but Colin didn't. Of course, Marina thought, she should have foreseen that since he had so many younger siblings.

Marina gestured toward her son and said, "This is Oliver. Amanda is sleeping."

Eloise finally spoke. "There are two of them? Twins? Oh, that is—" she glanced toward Colin with a teasing smile before reconsidering, "I mean, congratulations, Marina." As Marina thanked Eloise, Colin handed back Oliver, and the group went to sit down.

Marina said, "Sir Phillip is not here. He is out, studying his flowers. If I had known you were coming—"

Eloise scoffed. "And whose fault would that be, Colin?" Turning to Marina, she said, "I did not know we were coming until last night. I cannot be blamed."

Colin was surprised at how pleasant the conversation was. He made sure to tell plenty of stories about Greece, so it wouldn't seem odd when he mentioned it to Sir Phillip.

Eventually, Marina thanked them for coming, and everyone stood to leave. Just like last time, Sir Phillip arrived then, and Marina greeting him, "My lord, you have caught our visitors just before they depart. You have met Miss Penelope Featherington. This is Mr. Colin Bridgerton, and his sister Miss Eloise Bridgerton."

Sir Phillip gave them a small but genuine smile while bowing slightly. "Miss Penelope, I am glad to see you again. Mr. Bridgerton, it is a pleasure to meeting you at last. Miss Bridgerton, I am charmed to make your acquaintance."

Colin smiled and said, "The ladies have all been kind enough to let me drone on about my recent Grecian adventures."

Sir Phillip reacted just as he had last time by smiling more broadly and saying, "You were in Greece?" At Colin's murmured assent, he asked, "Did you visit the olive orchards in Lesvos?"

With a nod, Colin responded, "I certainly did. I oiled my way right in."

Penelope let out a surprised laugh and exclaimed, "Colin! An olive joke? Truly?" She then giggled again before falling silent at everyone's surprised looks. Colin was exceedingly pleased. For two years, he had wondered if Penelope would have laughed at that joke, and he was pleased to find out that she would indeed.

Sir Phillip then invited Colin to look at his copy of Flora Graeca before dinner. Knowing Penelope wished to speak privately to Marina, Colin addressed Sir Phillip, "May my sister join us? While she is less interested in my Grecian adventures than some, she has never turned her nose up at scholarly pursuits."

Eloise glanced at him in surprise, but for once, went along with Colin's plan without comment.

Sir Phillip smiled at her. "Any woman interested in scholarly pursuits is clearly one after my own heart. Please do join us."

As soon as Colin, Eloise, and Sir Phillip left, Penelope turned toward Marina and said, "I had been hoping to get the chance to apologize."

Marina raised her eyebrows, "Whatever for?"

Penelope smiled sadly, "You must know. You have always been very clever."

"Ah," said Marina, "I was not sure if you would mention that you were the one who made sure it got out that I was with child." Marina watched Penelope carefully. She really hadn't been sure if Penelope would admit it, but Marina had always reasoned it had to have been her. She supposed it was possible Prudence or Philippa had said something in front of the wrong person out of stupidity instead of malice or intent, but Penelope was the only person in the household who had a reason to want the truth to be revealed. She had made very clear what she thought of Marina marrying Colin, and Marina had been cruel to Penelope about her infatuation with him. Marina's only niggling doubt was how Lady Whistledown had found out so quickly from when Penelope learned of the plan to elope to when the column was published. The timing was tight, but any other explanation seemed too coincidental that her being with child just happened to be published at just the wrong time. Marina had wondered for a time if Eloise was Whistledown, but Marina doubted it. She also didn't think it mattered anymore. It was done, and it was probably for the best that she was married to Sir Phillip. It made her son an heir to what should have rightfully been his. She did not wonder about what could have been. It served no purpose.

Penelope looked stricken. "I really am sorry. Perhaps, I should have done things differently, but examining what I could have done is not helpful now. All I wish for now is your happiness."

Marina smiled slightly. "I am content. Sir Phillip is a good man and a good father to my children."

"I'm glad to hear it."

Marina tilted her head to the side. "Now that your apology is out of the way, tell me what is happening with Colin. Has he opened his eyes to what is in front of him?"

Penelope blushed but didn't answer right away. "It is hard to explain."

Marina stood up and sat down beside Penelope on the settee and grabbed her hand. "Do not be shy, Pen. Your happiness also matters to me."

"I do not know where exactly we stand. But Marina, I feel like I will burst with happiness. I cannot discuss it with Eloise, and I should not with you, but I believe his feelings toward me to be much altered."

Marina smiled genuinely. She had never loved Colin Bridgerton. He had been the best option, and he had been kind, and she had hoped to have an amicable marriage, but she had never loved him. She did not think she could love someone other than George. She was beginning to think Penelope couldn't love anyone other than Colin, and Marina's affection for Penelope was genuine. "I am pleased for you, Pen. It is certainly true that the way he looks at you is different. You were always important to him, no matter what I said. But now, it is like you are his sun, and he revolves around you. I do not think you realized it during our conversation before, but he could hardly look away from you."

Penelope smiled again and blushed an even deeper shade. "I am grateful for your kindness, both now and before. I told Lady Bridgerton before that you were a better sister to me than my own sisters."

"I think that says more about them than me, but you are also dear to me, Pen. I am glad you came."

Colin very much enjoyed talking to Sir Phillip. It was as enjoyable this time as it had been before, but the addition of his sister changed the dynamic. Colin did not think Eloise had ever shown any particular interest in plants before, and he knew she had never cared to hear about his travels to Greece, but she was a full participant in the discussion. Sir Phillip treated Eloise like an equal, which Colin knew was rare among men in the ton. He wasn't humoring her, nor was he condescending. He treated her questions with seriousness. He looked at her when she spoke. All of that was nice enough, Colin supposed, but Eloise's reaction was also unexpected. She, well, to use a plant metaphor, blossomed. She wasn't showing off, and she wasn't being sarcastic. She was just in the conversation fully as herself. Colin did not know whether to be impressed that Sir Phillip could bring that out in her or sad that he had never seen Eloise able to talk like this with people who weren't family or Penelope. When Sir Phillip apologized for often getting carried away in his own interests, Eloise smiled genuinely and said, "Do not apologize, at least not to me. I seem to suffer from the same affliction, and it is a pleasure to hear of your passions. Perhaps someday you would like to hear about mine." It hadn't been for another year from now that he and Sir Phillip had been in regular correspondence in the past he remembered, and Colin idly wondered if Eloise would start corresponding with him as well. Colin supposed that would be a tad inappropriate, but he knew he had no right to say anything about that.

Soon enough, Marina and Penelope came in to inform them it was time for dinner. The meal passed pleasantly, and Colin was surprisingly sad when it was time to depart. This trip had been much more satisfactory than last time. When Penelope and Marina hugged goodbye, Colin hoped that they had found an understanding. He had caught Marina looking at him curiously several times throughout the day, as if something about him was puzzling to her. He wondered what it was that she saw. Her harsh words calling him a boy caught up in his own fantasies had stuck with him for longer than he cared to admit, but she did not seem to be thinking that this time. When he said his final farewell to Marina, she leaned in and whispered, "Keep making her happy." He did not have to ask whom she meant.

Colin again found himself across from Eloise and Penelope in the carriage. As soon as they started moving, Eloise faced him. "There is still one thing I do not understand about what happened last year with Marina." Colin felt some apprehension but nodded for her to continue. "How does an unmarried lady come to be with child?"

Penelope burst out, "El!"

Eloise turned to her. "You wanted to know, too. All you could get out of Marina was that it had to do with love, but we decided that did not signify because so many married couples do not love each other and still have children. I asked my family, and all I could get out of Colin—" she gestured toward him while shooting him a glare, "—was asking if I had ever been to farm. How is that relevant?"

Penelope got a thoughtful look on her face, and Colin had forgotten until that moment that before her father had gambled away all their money, he had been involved in horse racing and breeding. Penelope had indeed been on a farm. Many times. He saw the moment it all clicked together. Her eyes widened, and she studiously avoided looking anywhere in his or Eloise's direction. She cleared her throat and looked like she was pondering this information. She had a slight frown on her face, but then, she blushed. Deeply. Colin would have given anything to know what she was thinking at that moment.

Eloise, meanwhile, was still huffing and complaining about how this should not be kept from young women. Colin, feeling a bit like a terrible brother though he wasn't sure to whom, cleared his throat and said, "Perhaps, Eloise, it might be more appropriate to ask Daphne. She agrees that young ladies should be told these things prior to marriage."

To Colin's surprise, Eloise dropped the subject. Most of the rest of the trip home passed pleasantly as Eloise and Penelope chatted about the books they had read recently. Colin, meanwhile, found himself just looking at Penelope. He was lost his thoughts about how beautiful she was when Eloise cleared her throat. "Brother, why are you staring at Pen?"

Colin thought about deflecting, and admittedly, he didn't know what Penelope would want him to say, and he realized he really did have to talk about this with her, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything other than the truth. "Because she is beautiful, El. Why would I not admire her when I have the opportunity?" Even in the low light, Colin could tell Penelope had blushed scarlet.

Eloise looked almost affronted. "Are you well, Colin? This is Pen, not some debutante you are trying to charm at a ball."

Penelope turned to Eloise with an incredulous look on her face. "I do not mind being admired, Eloise."

Eloise cringed. "Yes, of course. But it is Colin. Surely this is odd behavior for him."

Penelope rolled her eyes so that only Colin could see. "Indeed, we shall pay him no mind." Eloise shrugged and resumed ignoring Colin and conversing with Penelope until they returned to Aubrey Hall.

10

When Colin, Eloise, and Penelope got back to Aubrey Hall, it was evening and had started raining, but most of the guests were still socializing. Eloise quickly got pulled away by Violet, much to Eloise's dismay. Colin turned to Penelope. "Do you still think we should tell Daphne?"

Penelope nodded. "I think you should at least tell her about Cousin Jack. I'm not sure how many details are appropriate, and maybe we should discuss it further, but she is your sister. You do not need my permission to confide in her about the things that relate to you."

Colin nodded and said, "Let us go now." Right then, Benedict walked by. Colin stopped him. "Brother, do you know where Daphne is?"

Benedict ignored Colin and smiled at Penelope. "Good evening, Penelope. I haven't seen you all day."

She nodded. "Colin, Eloise, and I went to visit Marina."

Benedict raised his eyebrows and looked at his brother. "Truly, Colin? Why would you do such a thing?"

Penelope laughed. "He wanted to apologize."

Benedict looked between them. Before he could respond, Colin interrupted, "Do you know where Daphne is or not?"

Benedict tilted his head to the side. "She's in the sitting room next to the ballroom. She was doing something with flowers for tomorrow."

Colin nodded, grabbed Penelope's hand, walked off. Penelope was nearly scampering trying to keep up with Colin's purposeful strides.

"Colin!" she exclaimed, and he slowed down, seeming to realize how much trouble she was having keeping up. "I really do not feel like I should be a part of this conversation. She's your sister, and it seems rather presumptuous—"

Penelope broke off when Colin simply dragged her into the room. Seeing Daphne, Penelope quickly curtsied with an embarrassed greeting of "Your Grace."

Daphne smiled, "Penelope, do not be ridiculous. We have known each other since we were children. Do not stop calling me Daphne. Now, do tell me what my brother is trying to drag you into." Daphne glanced down at their clasped hands. "Or succeeding by the looks of it." Colin dropped her hand and went to sit in a chair next to Daphne.

Penelope groaned, sat down on the settee across from Daphne, and said, "Colin wanted to talk to you. For some reason, he saw the need to bring me along without discussing it with me first." She glared at Colin.

Colin said, "Of course, I want you here, Pen. It's about your family, at least in part."

Daphne turned to him and raised one eyebrow. "Well, now I am curious. Do tell, brother. How is Penelope's family your concern?"

Colin sighed. Daphne was not going to make this easy for him. He turned to Penelope and said, "Where do you think I should start?"

Penelope snapped, "Maybe with us discussing this before you charged off to find your sister?" Colin could not help but smile. He loved when Penelope was feisty. Normally only Eloise could get this much of a rise out of her, but it did delight him when he succeeded in doing it, too.

Daphne chucked at Penelope's annoyed expression, "I have always rather liked you, Penelope. For one thing, you tolerate both Colin and Eloise. That is no small thing."

Colin ignored Daphne. "Really, Pen. It's up to you."

Penelope rolled her eyes at him, but said, "The situation with my family is the most important. If we want her help with your brother, I think you must tell her about yourself. It won't make sense otherwise why you're so certain."

Colin nodded and smiled. "You're always right, Pen."

Daphne glanced between the two of them. "Please, do go on. I'm quite intrigued."

Colin began, "The most important piece that we hope for your help with has to do with the current Lord Featherington. He's penniless. The ruby mines he supposedly owns in the Americas do not exist."

Daphne gasped. "How did you find out?"

Colin and Penelope both laughed before he said, "The answer to that is rather unbelievable."

Colin told Daphne almost everything. He said that he went to bed in 1816 with his wife by his side and his son next to him and woke up two years previously. He told everything he knew about Jack Featherington and how confronted him last time in 1814. When he said that Anthony married Kate, Daphne finally interrupted, "Why am I not surprised?"

Colin laughed. "He is rather obvious, isn't he?"

Daphne became more serious. "Colin, I am so sorry. I knew you were upset yesterday, but I had no idea. Being separated from your wife? And your son? I can imagine no greater pain."

Colin's eyes filled with tears. "I would not wish it on anyone. I miss him with every breath, like a constant ache. There are moments where it seems almost bearable, but then there are others where I have no words to describe the pain."

Daphne squeezed his hand for a few moments before sitting back and smiling mischievously. "Now, you simply must tell me the name of this young lady you married. Surely, you can convince her to love you a little early?"

Colin glanced at Penelope and smiled. "I'm working on it."

Daphne looked at Penelope and then her eyes widened. "Oh, Colin, this is wonderful news!" Penelope looked at her hands, clearly embarrassed by the direction of the conversation. Colin frowned as he looked at her, but then turned back to Daphne and smiled. "Again, you sound like mother. She said something very similar the other day." Penelope's gaze snapped up. Colin tried to smile reassuringly, but Penelope still looked concerned.

With a smile, Daphne said, "You must tell me how this happened. When did you start courting?"

Colin cleared his throat and glanced at Penelope. "We did not. It was a bit more, well, complicated. I have not told Penelope about it yet."

Daphne's smile widened. "There is no time like the present! Please tell us."

Colin was a bit frustrated he was going to have to have this conversation in front of Daphne, but he was beginning to get uncomfortable with withholding this story from Penelope. With a sigh, he began, "At the beginning of the 1815 season, Penelope was angry with me. Deservedly so." Daphne looked ready to interrupt, but Colin ignored her and continued. "She also desired to get married and get out of her mother's house. In an attempt to earn back her favor, I decided to help her find a husband."

Penelope asked, "Help me how?"

Smiling at her question, Colin said, "By trying to help you gain more confidence in interacting with suitors. The original goal was to teach you to be more charming." Daphne was looking at him incredulously, and Penelope looked uncomfortable. "I had not realized how much I relied on Penelope's good opinion of me, so I had been floundering a little. I was very good at faking confidence and charm. Mother, Eloise, and Penelope saw through me quickly. Everyone else was fooled, as far as I can tell." Daphne rolled her eyes at him, but Colin went on, "Unfortunately, Eloise was indiscrete when discussing my helping Penelope, and the gossip spread. Lady Whistledown published a column on it, which was very damaging to Penelope's reputation, whereas I came off overly magnanimous perhaps, but not degraded." Penelope put her hand to her mouth. Colin nodded at her briefly before continuing. "I, well, felt like I needed to check on her, so I bribed her maid to let me meet with Penelope at night."

Daphne looked pleasantly shocked. "Brother, I do not know whether to be scandalized or impressed."

Colin rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, I was concerned. Penelope was convinced at this point that she was going to be a spinster, so she decided to ask me a favor." Colin swallowed uncomfortably and looked determinedly away from his sister. "She wanted me to kiss her with the promise it would not mean anything."

Daphne giggled. "Brother, you would not even kiss Marina when you were engaged, but you thought kissing your friend was a good plan?"

Penelope, meanwhile, looked mortified.

Colin continued, "Forgive me, Pen, but it is an important detail. My understanding is that Penelope viewed this as a sort of kiss goodbye and giving up on the idea of a love match. I had a different reaction." Still doing everything to avoid looking anywhere near his sister, Colin said, "I found it very enlightening." Daphne laughed again. "Penelope thought we should keep our distance because of the scandal. I did not object, since I took that as an indication that my feelings were not reciprocated." Penelope gasped. "Soon after that, Lord Debling started courting Penelope."

Daphne asked, "The naturalist? He has been away doing research for years, has he not?"

Colin nodded. "He returned in 1815 to find a wife to run his estate. He then planned to leave again for three years. He decided quite quickly to propose to Penelope. Mother told me Penelope would be receiving a proposal that night when I told her I would not be attending the ball when it was supposed to happen. I arrived quite late, but in time to interrupt Penelope dancing with him."

Daphne exclaimed, "You cut in?"

"I tried to talk her out of accepting his proposal, but she was very angry and very determined. In all honesty, yelling that I would not stand by and let her make a mistake as Lord Debling walked by us was not well done of me." Penelope looked stunned by the direction the story had taken. Daphne was both amazed and entertained. "She ran off to talk to him, and I eventually decided to follow. I ran after her carriage." Both women gasped. "Debling had not proposed. Penelope said it was because of the feelings he thought I had for her, but later, she admitted it was more the other way around. In any event, I told her I did have feelings for her, and it became clear they were reciprocated, so I proposed."

Daphne raised an eyebrow. "Became clear? Clear because you—"

"Yes, quite clear." Colin said, cutting off his sister. "When we got to Bridgerton House, I brought her inside to tell our mother, Francesca, Hyacinth, Gregory, and Eloise. Anthony, Benedict, and Kate found out the next morning. I wrote you a letter, Daph, but I do not know exactly when you received it. And that is it. We got married as soon as the banns were read."

Daphne smiled. "Let me guess, your son was born nine months after the wedding?"

Colin flushed and again looked anywhere but at his sister. "In truth, it was around eight months."

Sounding rather like their mother, Daphne yelled, "Colin Bridgerton!"

Colin did not think he had ever been more embarrassed. Desperate to change the subject, he cleared his throat, "Perhaps we should return to the matter at hand and discuss Jack Featherington?"

Daphne shook her head at him but did change the subject, "Do you two have some type of plan for what to do about everything with Penelope's family?"

Penelope finally spoke. "Not much of one. Telling you was the first step. We were also going to tell my mother that Jack Featherington is penniless and that the mines do not exist, or they are simply a failure, I'm a little unclear on that point, but it doesn't matter. We are hoping if we do that before the ball tomorrow, my mother will not try to entrap him into marrying Prudence. I'm hoping that Colin, and maybe even you, might be involved in telling her. That way, she knows a Bridgerton and a duchess know, so she might be less likely to do something as public as defrauding the entire ton, but I'm also hoping that if you two offer to help, she might be less likely to do something desperate that hurts our family even worse."

Daphne looked thoughtful. "I see, but I'm not sure—"

Penelope, sensing Daphne's doubt, rambled on, "I know the big problem is money. I have about 5000 pounds saved up, and I know that's not much, but it might help for a bit."

Daphne nodded. "Or that could be a modest dowry."

With a near growl, Colin said, "Pen doesn't need a dowry."

Daphne and Penelope both rolled their eyes as Daphne said, "But Prudence might."

Daphne was silent for a moment. "There is one major flaw with your plan." Penelope and Colin both looked concerned. "Why should Lady Featherington trust Colin and I to have the best interests of the Featheringtons at heart? Or even the best interests of Penelope? Childhood affection? If she does not trust us—"

Penelope interrupted, "Oh, that is a problem. Despite how long you have all known me, my mother still does not believe Colin is my friend, let alone believing that he is interested in helping my whole family."

Colin frowned. "How could she not know I care for you? I have written you when we are apart since we were children. Admittedly with much more regularity when I was in Greece, but it is not new."

Penelope smiled wryly. "I believe her exact words were 'Colin Bridgerton is no more your friend than I am the next Catherine the Great.'"

Colin looked incensed. "It is truly stunning to me how a woman so clever can see you so little, Pen."

Daphne reasserted herself. "This all rather proves my point. Without having reason to trust Colin and I, I worry she might be even more likely to think we are a threat more than a help and do something desperate behind all our backs." Daphne looked at Colin apologetically before continuing, "I think it might be helpful if Colin, and by extension me and the rest of the Bridgertons, had a vested interest in Penelope's wellbeing and the reputation of the Featheringtons."

Colin nodded and shut his eyes briefly as he sighed. "I'd been having the same thought."

Penelope looked between them and asked, "What do you mean?"

Colin looked at Daphne and said, "Could you give us some privacy?"

Daphne shook her head slightly and said, "You know I should not, but because you are my favorite brother, I find myself rather fatigued and shall retire early." She slipped from the room and closed the door behind her. Colin stood and twisted the key to lock the door.

Penelope still looked confused. "What did she mean, Colin?"

Colin sighed and sat down next to Penelope on the settee. "Your mother needs to have a reason to believe me when I say I want to help. She needs to know that I will never use this information I have against her or your family. She needs to understand that I really, truly do care about what happens to you and your family. The best way for her to know that is if your reputation, and your family's, is tied to mine. Officially."

Penelope looked like she was beginning to understand what he was saying. Colin, on the other hand, could not think of a proposal less like his first to Penelope. Both, if he were honest, were not especially well done of him, but this one was particularly poor. Proposing to the woman he desperately loved like it was a business transaction was rather unfortunate, but he saw no way around it with timing being what it was.

"Agree to marry me, Pen. Please. We can be betrothed as long as you want, but Daphne is right."

Penelope looked uncertain. "I am not opposed to your suggestion, at least in principle. But I don't like the idea of you marrying me simply to keep my mother in line and to try to help my family. I do not want you to marry me because you want to save me."

Colin nodded and slipped his finger under her chin and tilted her face up a bit. In a quiet voice he said, "If you think that's the only reason I would be marrying you, I'm afraid you are mistaken." He then leaned down and kissed her gently.

Penelope allowed the kiss but pulled back quickly shaking her head. "And truthfully, I do not want to feel like a replacement for your wife. I do not want you to marry me because I am here, and the Penelope you fell in love with is not. You love her. I see it when you talk about her, but we did not get together until 1815. It is 1814. You were not in love with me in 1814. Something must have changed. I don't know what, but something. The person I became was someone you could fall in love with in a way you did not with me. I do not want to be someone you think is a tolerable substitute. I have loved you for as long as I have known you, but I cannot marry you if I am always going to be wondering what she had or did or was that set her apart from me."

Colin looked at her incredulously. In a louder voice than was probably wise, he said, "Do you think I do not love you? You, Pen. You who are right here in front of me. Do you know what I said to my brothers the day they found out I was engaged? I said, 'My feelings for Penelope are not a thunderbolt from the sky. I have known her a very long time and perhaps I have always felt something for her. My only foolishness this time was not realizing it sooner.'" Penelope gasped, but Colin kept speaking. "Do you know what I did when I could not reconcile the fact that my wife was Whistledown? I read your letters. Your letters. The last letter I received from you before I returned from Greece is the last letter I have received from any version of you. When I needed to remember that I was in love with you, I read your letters. When I needed to remember who this woman who captured my heart was, I read your letters. I read your letters from when I was in Greece, from when I was at Eton, from any time we have been apart. I have read your letters hundreds of times. I have carried them with me to here, to London, to Greece, and throughout the Continent. The only reason they haven't fallen apart is because of how careful I have been with them. They have always been precious to me. You have always been precious to me." Colin stopped for a minute to catch his breath. Penelope just looked at him until he continued more quietly, "If something did change in 1815 then it is I who changed. I opened my eyes, and I saw you, and I cannot look away. Not then. Not now. Not ever. It does not matter if it is 1815 or 1816 or back again in 1814. It does not matter if it is the first time, the second, or the third that I am living through these years with you. Now that I see you, I cannot look away, and I cannot stop loving you. I have loved you since the moment we met, though I did not know it, and I will love you until the day I die. That is why I want to marry you. Because you are Penelope, and there is no time and no reality in which I will not want you to be my wife."

Perhaps Colin should have expected it, but somehow he didn't and was taken by surprise when Penelope kissed him. It was not gentle, nor was it practiced, but Colin returned her kisses with equal fervor. Pulling his mouth away from hers no more than an inch, he whispered, "Is that a yes?" He felt Penelope's breath on his lips as she laughed and said, "You said 'please'. How could I say 'no'"?

Colin knew there were things they needed to discuss, and there were probably some things he should tell her, but all he could think about was Penelope. He kissed her again, and Penelope tugged him closer. He loved how eager she was, and he groaned as she ran her hands through his hair. He pulled back, savoring the feeling. He chucked and asked something he never had before. "How long have you wanted to do that?"

Penelope blushed and said, "I've wondered what your hair felt like since before you even fell off your horse."

Despite his intensions, Colin kissed her again. He was helpless when it came to her. There was nothing he wanted more than her. As he kissed down her neck, Penelope's moans increased in volume, and Colin knew they had to stop. The door was locked, but people were still awake and around in this part of the house. Reluctantly, he pulled just far enough to rest his forehead against hers. "We cannot keep going. Not right now. I do not believe either of us could remain quiet enough to not attract attention." Both proving his point and testing his resolve, Penelope whimpered.

Before Colin could change his mind, there was a knock at the door. Eloise shouted, "Pen, are you there? I've been looking for you everywhere." Colin groaned. He had a sneaking suspicion that telling Eloise wasn't going to go well this time either. Eloise and Penelope weren't estranged, but her accusation of them going behind her back would still stand.

Penelope sighed. "We must tell her. She will not like it."

With a shake of his head, Colin agreed, "I do not believe she will." He quickly looked over Penelope to make sure she looked presentable, and after tucking her hair behind her ear, he stood up and went to the door. When he unlocked the door, Eloise nearly fell in, since she'd been pushing against the door. Colin sighed. "You found us."

Eloise looked suspicious. "What are you two doing in a locked room?"

Colin desperately wanted to tell Eloise that they had been doing precisely what she feared they'd been doing, but he didn't think Penelope would approve with this discussion opening like that.

Penelope signed helplessly. "El, maybe you should sit."

Looking more suspicious by the second, she sat next to Penelope. Colin sat down in a chair nearby. He realized he had no idea how to do this. Last time, his announcement was perhaps a bit sudden and lacking in explanation, but the emotions had been so high, he hadn't been able to control himself. And now, while he was sincerely excited to be marrying Penelope for a second time, he was calm enough to want to do it better, but with no idea what that might look like. Eloise looked between the two of them. "Are you going to say something?"

Colin opened his mouth to speak and gently break the news to her and all that came out was, "We are engaged." At least he was calmer this time and not nearly shouting, but evidently he couldn't control himself this time either. He was just too excited. His face had split into a wide grin that was probably not helping at all. But really, Penelope had agreed to marry him. Again. He was allowed to be happy.

Eloise shook her head. "To each other?"

Penelope nodded. "That is the idea. Though you are the first person we've told, so I'd appreciate it if you kept quiet until we have talked to my mother and Lord Featherington." Colin flinched at the idea of asking that man for Penelope's hand in marriage. He assumed as soon as he said he did not need a dowry that the man would heartily approve.

Clearly confused, Eloise said, "I don't understand. Did something happen, Pen? Is it because of everything happening with your family that you feel you must? I thought you never wanted to marry."

Penelope sighed. "I have never said I did not want to marry. In fact, last year I tried to make clear to you that I would need to eventually. Life as a spinster when you have a loving family of means is very different than my experience of it would be. And El, my favorite novels are romances. How could you think I did not hope for love?"

Unfortunately, that seemed to make Eloise's confusion worse. Colin was a little offended that she thought Penelope would only marry him out of some type of necessity, but he didn't disagree that Penelope was really too good for him, so he kept silent.

"My brother? You love my brother? How long has this been going on?"

Penelope reached for Eloise's hand. "Not long. I'm still getting used to the idea, but things have changed since he came home from Greece."

"That was no more than a week ago."

Penelope glanced to Colin with a somewhat apologetic expression. "There are some things with my family that make it better to marry sooner, but I promise it is not something I'm being forced into. There is nothing I want more than to marry him."

Eloise looked near tears. "I do not know quite how to feel about this."

Penelope smiled. "If it helps, I do not quite know either."

Eloise laughed and turned to Colin. "Do you love Pen?"

"In more ways than I could even express."

She turned back to Penelope. "Have you always had feelings for him? Has our entire friendship been—"

"Of course not, El!" Penelope shouted, and then added more quietly, "You are my dearest friend. Nothing that has happened or will happen with Colin will ever change that."

Eloise was still struggling to compose herself. "Excuse me, I just need—" and then she broke off and fled the room.

Penelope's gaze followed Eloise and then returned to Colin. "That could have been worse. I shall speak with her tomorrow."

Colin nodded. "Indeed. I've seen it."

Penelope looked tentative. "She did not react well the last time you got engaged?"

Shaking his head, Colin said, "No, she was estranged from your counterpart at the time and yelled at her in the hallway outside the drawing room. It was not ideal."

Penelope swallowed. "I do hope she comes around. I do not want to do this without her support."

"I know" was all Colin could think to say.

After a pause, Penelope said, "My maid is probably wondering what happened to me."

Colin's head snapped up. "You have a maid?"

Penelope nodded. "Mama just hired her only for this trip to keep up appearances. It is nice to be dressed by someone who isn't Varley."

"Her name isn't Rae perchance?"

With a confused look, Penelope said, "Yes, do you know her?"

Colin smiled. "I had been hoping we would find her again. She was your maid in 1815 and then served as both our housekeeper and your maid once we got married. When we moved back to Featherington House, she stayed as your maid but also started working with Varley so that she can become the housekeeper of a larger household when Varley retires in a few years."

With raised eyebrows, Penelope asked, "You speak of your wife's maid with great fondness."

Colin scoffed. "Only because of how loyal she is to you. She has always viewed me very clearly. She knew I loved you before I did. I believe that is why she let me bribe her when I wanted to meet you in your garden at night. I am not sure she ever forgave me for the early days of our marriage, but she would never leave you." Colin paused. "Your assumption is why I knew I could not look for her, even to hire her for you. A young man of the ton determinedly searching for a certain maid would raise questions. If, and only if, you like her, remember that you will have your own household soon. You can decide who you wish to have as your maid, whether it is Rae or someone else."

Penelope blushed. "I do not quite believe it is true that we are to marry. Hiring a maid seems quite, well, certain."

Colin chuckled. "The last time I got engaged I had a house within about twelve hours. Since we are at Aubrey Hall, I do not think I will manage the same this time. Though perhaps I shall speak to Anthony while you are with Rae."

Penelope raised her eyebrows at his phrasing.

Clearing his throat, Colin said, "There is a small parlor four doors down from the room you're staying in. I was wondering if you might be amenable to meeting me there later. In an hour, perhaps?"

Penelope was silent as she looked at him.

Colin stammered, "If, uh, you do not wish—"

With a small smile and deep blush, Penelope said, "I would like that very much."

Chapter 11

Colin walked down the hallway and listened to the storm outside intensify. He was dreading talking to Anthony. Part of him was worried about how his brother would react to his engagement to Penelope, but another part was simply sad that the Anthony he had known in 1815 didn't currently exist. The brother who told him to go and tell Penelope how he felt wasn't the person Colin was going to speak with now. While it paled in comparison to what he felt about Elliot, there was an odd grief here, too. Colin hoped that version of Anthony would return once he married Kate, but for now, he was absent. Colin found Anthony and Benedict in the drawing room. Colin poured himself a glass of brandy and joined them.

Benedict turned toward him as soon as Colin sat down. With a mischievous look, he said, "I am interested to hear, Brother, about your visit to Lady Crane."

Anthony turned to glare at Colin. "Why would you visit her? What were you thinking?"

Colin sighed. He hadn't expected the conversation to go this way. "Penelope and Lady Crane had been close when Lady Crane first went to stay with the Featheringtons, but they fell out for obvious reasons. Penelope was saddened they had not been able to reconcile before Lady Crane left."

Benedict tilted his head to the side and looked at him. "That was very thoughtful of you."

Anthony looked surprised. "They had a disagreement? Had Penelope known Lady Crane was with child?" Colin nodded warily, worried he knew how Anthony would react. "How could she not have told you? Or told Mother, even, if she was too embarrassed to approach you about such a delicate matter?"

Colin cleared his throat. "She did try to tell me. She was not as, well, direct as she could have been, but I was also rather dismissive of her concerns."

Benedict looked close to laughter. "Not direct? Please do tell us what she said."

Colin sighed. "She told me Marina's heart belonged to another. I, ah, told Penelope she was really very good. When she told me I had misunderstood, I told her that Marina and I knew each other's minds and understood one another.

Benedict snorted. "I see what you mean about being rather dismissive."

Colin rolled his eyes. "I do not know if Penelope would have said more if I had reacted differently or if Lady Crane had not joined us right after that."

Anthony huffed. "She should have said Lady Crane was with child."

To Colin's surprise, Benedict scoffed and said, "Brother, that is unfair. She is a young lady, who was barely out in society, and caught in the middle between a childhood friend and her cousin. Going to a young man at all with that type of information took courage and speaks to the regard she has for Colin. Could you imagine Francesca approaching a man and telling him that the woman he was betrothed to was with child?" Anthony grimaced.

Colin smiled at Benedict in gratitude. "There is something else I would prefer to discuss other than my foolishness last year. This is much happier news." His brothers both nodded for him to continue. "Penelope and I have decided to marry. I shall speak with Lord Featherington tomorrow to make an official offer for her hand, but I wanted to tell you tonight."

Benedict made an incredulous noise, but then smiled and said, "Congratulations. I will say I am surprised, but if you are happy then I am pleased for you both. She will be a welcome addition to our family."

Anthony on the other hand, looked at Colin in disbelief. "Why would you do such a thing? You have barely been back a week. Did you learn nothing from your rushed proposal to Lady Crane?"

Colin huffed. "I have known Penelope for years, so I could hardly call it rushed. We have corresponded for years, but our letters while I was in Greece became more personal. Being with her now makes me indescribably happy. She is the cleverest woman I know, and she is beautiful, inside and out."

Benedict made a noise that sounded suspiciously like "aww" while Anthony continued to glare at him. "What is going on? Is there something you aren't telling me?"

Colin sighed. There was indeed something he wasn't telling Anthony, but not like Anthony was thinking. "What do you think I'm not telling you?"

Shaking his head, Anthony said, "I admit you do not seem as green as you did last year, but if you have compromised her or if this is just about wanting her in your bed—"

"Please stop." Colin, of course, did want Penelope in his bed, but that was far from the crux of the issue, and he had no desire to discuss intimacy with Penelope with his brothers. "If I am honest with myself, Brother, I have had feelings for her for a long time. I was a fool with Lady Crane. I admit that, but this is different. Penelope is special. She is warm and kind and witty. She is my dearest friend, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. Why is that difficult to understand?"

Anthony scoffed. "Are you saying you are in love with her?"

Benedict was looking between the two of them with barely concealed glee. Clearly, he was enjoying this. Colin, on the other hand, was getting irritated. "Yes, that is precisely what I am saying."

"Well," said Anthony, "I cannot stop you from marrying her, but I do hope you know what you are doing." It occurred to Colin that he was the only man in this room who had any experience of marriage, and he rather did think he knew what he was doing. Mostly. He was still deeply concerned about the other problems he and Penelope were facing. But marriage to Penelope in and of itself? That did not worry him at all.

After discussing pragmatic details with Anthony about where Colin and Penelope would live, how certain financial issues would be dealt with, and so on, Colin excused himself and left so that he could meet Penelope.

Colin slipped into the parlor and found Penelope already waiting for him. She was wearing a simple cotton nightdress that made it impossible for him to ignore quite how perfect her breasts were, and her hair was braided for sleep. He was pleasantly surprised to see she had forgone a robe. She looked uncertain and clasped her hands together as she stood to greet him. Before stepping forward, he locked the door behind him. Taking one of her hands, he kissed her palm and then said, "You are exquisite, Penelope." She blushed but did not look away from him. Gesturing with his head, he whispered, "Sit with me." Penelope sat on the settee, and he sat close beside her. "May I?" he asked as he reached toward her braid. When she nodded, he took out the ribbon and carefully undid the braid before running his fingers through it. "I love your hair loose, how it curls around my fingers, how it shines in the candlelight, how it flows around your shoulders."

Penelope's lips were parted slightly as she looked at Colin. He was very aware of four things. One, this Penelope did not have any experience with physical intimacy beyond kissing. Two, they were not yet married. Three, they had not discussed how long they wanted their betrothal to be, but it should probably be at least several weeks, if not longer. And four, he desperately wanted her, even if he was sure it was not a good plan to have her fully. Without even quite intending to, he leaned forward and claimed her lips with his. The little noises she made were all the encouragement he needed to start kissing down her neck. When she tipped her head back to give him better access, he groaned and kissed further down her chest. As Colin's hand slide up from her waist toward her breast, he realized with glee that he had a distinct advantage. This Penelope might not have experience with physical intimacy, but he knew exactly what her body would enjoy. He wasn't going to stop paying attention to how she reacted to his touch and his mouth, clearly, but he had a very good idea about what might give her the most pleasure. Penelope's gasps seemed to indicate he wasn't wrong.

When Colin felt her hands against his chest, he pulled back and quickly divested himself of his jacket, waistcoat, and cravat. Penelope's desire was evident as she looked at him. Surprising him, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him back toward her. She kissed him again, and Colin gasped with delight. He loved how she made him feel, and he loved how much she wanted him. There was nothing that compared to being with her.

When she pulled away slightly, Colin stilled and looked at her. Penelope said, "I am not sure what to do."

Colin swallowed. "I think you understood certain things in the carriage today when Eloise mentioned the, ah, farm?" Penelope nodded uncertainly. "There are certain things we should avoid for now, as much as I do not wish to." Penelope swallowed and nodded again. Colin cleared his throat and continued, "There are other things I can do. Let me. Let me give you pleasure." When Penelope nodded yet a third time, Colin smiled and slide his hand slowly up her leg, intent on pleasing her as much, and as many times, as he possibly could.

Colin loved touching her. He loved her softness and how wet and responsive she became under his touch. He loved watching her face as she came apart under and around his fingers. He loved the gasps and moans that she seemed absolutely incapable of containing. There was nothing and no one more beautiful than Penelope when she was lost in passion. He would never tire of watching her.

As she came down from her peak for a second time, she gently pushed at his arm, and he withdrew his hand from her immediately. She bit her lip before saying, "Show me how to touch you."

Colin groaned and shook his head. "You do not—"

"No," Penelope interrupted, "show me." Colin did not have the strength to refuse such a command, even if resisting had been what he desired, which it certainly was not.

Once they had calmed down and straightened themselves up, Colin sighed and suggested they return to their separate rooms for sleep. While he did not want to be apart from Penelope, Colin was becoming increasingly aware that he had not had a full night's sleep in several nights. Of course, it was nothing compared to waking multiple times each night to care for his son, but his late-night conversations and escapades were going to start taking their toll eventually. Rest would do them both good, though Colin hated sleeping without Penelope by his side. After several more kisses, they stood to leave.

As Colin stepped into the hallway, he glanced to his left and noticed light coming from under the door of his father's library. While he was considering whether to check to make sure a candle hadn't remained lit accidently, the door opened, and Kate walked quickly toward him looking upset. And just for a second, Colin forgot. He forgot that this woman hardly knew him. Instead, he saw Kate, who he hugged in greeting without thought, who had tenderly touched his face the night before his wedding in a familial gesture of love and comfort, and who had become his sister in more than just name. And so, without a moment of thought, he called out, "Kate!" and stepped into her path. He wrapped his arms around her, then pulled back so he was holding her upper arms in and looked at her face searchingly and asked, "Are you alright?" Except the woman looking back at him was not his sister. The woman who looked back at him was clearly disturbed by his extreme lack of decorum. He dropped her arms immediately. "Miss Sharma, forgive me. My concern for your welfare overcame my sense of propriety."

Penelope stepped out of the shadows, correctly divining that her presence would make Kate feel more at ease. "Miss Sharma, Kate, is something the matter?"

Kate gave Penelope a small but genuine smile. "I am alright. Forgive me for causing you any worry. Your concern, both of yours, is appreciated." She then glanced between the two of them and raised her eyebrows. "Shall we all—"

Kate broke off when Colin groaned in dismay. She looked back over her shoulder and saw what he had. Anthony had just exited their father's library and looked in their direction. Anthony strode toward them quickly. As he approached, he said in a quiet but angry voice, "Could one of you tell me what precisely is happening here?" Colin realized that Anthony hadn't seen Penelope, and he didn't know whether to be horrified by Anthony's assumption or entertained. His brother really was rather obvious in his interest in Kate. Penelope, also realizing what was happening, coughed slightly. Colin was unsure whether she was trying to make Anthony aware of her presence or stifle a laugh. He suspected it was a bit of both. He absolutely could not make eye contact with her if he wanted to contain his amusement. Colin raised his eyebrows at Anthony and then made a clear show of looking back at the door to their father's library from which Kate and Anthony had both exited. "I think that is an excellent question, Brother."

Anthony clenched his jaw and said, "Perhaps the ladies should go to bed while you and I have a chat."

Colin shook his head. "No, Anthony. As the conversation we need to have will pertain to these two ladies, they should be present for the discussion."

Penelope looked at Colin in surprise. She had known the Bridgertons a very long time. Colin was a bit older than her, but they had both been children when they met. Anthony, on the other hand, had always been a man. Rationally, she knew that Anthony hadn't been particularly old when they met, but he was enough older than her that he always seemed like an adult. Colin, on the other hand, had been a boy when she met him. A charming and handsome boy, to be sure, but a boy, nonetheless. And while he had grown into a man in recently years, there was still a boyishness about him. Mostly, it was part of his charm. He could be silly, he like puns, and he played with his younger siblings. There was something sweet about it. Until everything happened with Marina, there had been an innocence there, too, and Penelope suspected that innocence was part of why Marina had chosen him in the first place. But despite all Colin's charisma and increasingly adult demeanor, in the face of Anthony, Colin always seemed to wilt a little. Like Anthony's aura of authority either intimidated Colin or made him feel a bit petulant or a combination thereof. Since this version of Colin was still so sweet and silly and kind, there was still a boyish charm to him. It made it easy to forget that this Colin was both older and significantly more mature. She did not think she had ever heard Colin speak to Anthony like this before. He wasn't angry, and he wasn't petulant. He was not feigning confidence he did not feel. He spoke to Anthony like a true equal. The note of authority in Colin's voice was something Penelope had never heard before, especially not directed toward Anthony, and based on the way Anthony blinked at Colin for several seconds before nodding his assent, she was guessing Anthony hadn't either.

Colin led them all back into the parlor which the two of them had exited just a few minutes before. He sat on the settee and grabbed Penelope's hand and tugged her down to sit beside him. He did not let go of her hand, and when she glanced at his face, she got the distinct impression that he kept a hold of it, at least in part, to get a rise out of Anthony. She found that she quite liked this version of Colin who could still be playful and teasing while also being completely self-confident.

Anthony, meanwhile, was glaring at their joined hands and sitting stiffly in a chair opposite them and next to Kate. Kate looked like she wanted to be anywhere else. Penelope found this all desperately funny, and she couldn't quite understand why. She herself had always been rather intimidated by Anthony, and she did not particularly want to offend the viscount shortly before joining his family. Despite all that, this strange gathering of people, including two unmarried women in nightdresses, presented a tableau that Penelope found more entertaining than she probably should.

After an excruciating minute of silence, Kate cleared her throat and turned to Colin. "Mr. Bridgerton, I assure you I am absolutely fine. You do not need to concern yourself with me."

Colin sighed and shook his head. "You seemed distraught, Miss Sharma. Of course I am concerned. Your wellbeing is important to me."

At this Anthony bit out, "And why, pray tell, would that be, Brother?"

Colin looked at him incredulously. Colin made a show of looking at Penelope, as if to remind his brother who Colin had actually been alone with, and then said, "Because I like her, Anthony. Because she cares about Miss Edwina more than she cares about herself. Because she is funny and kind. Because she is a natural at pall-mall and plays with a true Bridgerton spirit and a fitting lack of sportsmanship. Because at dinner the other night, she was the only person interested in hearing my stories about Greece. And because, in case you have missed this, she is a guest in our home."

Penelope found herself smiling at Colin. His description of why Kate's welfare mattered to him made her think that he must have cared about Kate a great deal in 1815 and 1816. Penelope hoped that she would get the opportunity to get to know this woman in the coming years. The last part of what Colin said, however, was clearly to needle Anthony. Colin might be more mature, but he was still Anthony's little brother, and the dichotomy made Penelope want to giggle.

Kate looked at Colin and gave him a small but genuine smile. "That is very kind of you to say, Mr. Bridgerton. I am not sure I deserve such praise."

Colin shook his head before addressing Anthony, "You seem concerned to have seen me in the hallway with Miss Sharma, and while I admit it was not entirely proper, I can tell you that Penelope was with me the entire—"

Looking at Penelope's state of dress, Anthony said, "Yes, I can see that she was."

Penelope blushed, but Colin answered calmly. "Need I remind you, Brother, that Penelope and I are betrothed?"

Kate smiled widely at this and said to Penelope, "Congratulations, Penelope. Edwina had told me Mr. Bridgerton had seemed very smitten with you when he spoke to her." She gave a teasing glance to Colin before she looked back to Penelope. "She will be delighted to hear the news."

Penelope smiled at Kate. "Thank you, Kate. I am delighted and look forward to sharing the news with Edwina tomorrow." Colin squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

Anthony again addressed Colin. "How did Miss Edwina know about you and Penelope? When were you talking to her?"

Colin looked at Anthony like he could not believe what he was hearing. "When Miss Edwina and I left the pall-mall game, we walked back together. You and Kate were going after your balls and getting covered in mud, if I recall correctly." Anthony and Kate glanced away from each other and blushed, and Penelope's eyebrows rose. Colin continued, "Miss Edwina and I had quite a nice chat as we walked. I shared with her the story of how Penelope and I first met." He smiled at Penelope when he said this.

Kate said, "She said it was a charming tale. I would be delighted to hear it someday."

Colin smiled, "And so you shall." After a pause, he looked at Anthony and said, "I was alone with Penelope for an extended period this—"

Anthony scoffed. "And I suppose you expect me to pay—"

Colin interrupted but his voice stayed even. "I am not finished. We were, indeed, alone, but I swear to you that there is no need for a special license. As you said earlier, I have only been back for a week, and I believe we would prefer a longer betrothal than a few days. I would marry Penelope tomorrow if she wished it, or if it was necessary, but if neither of those things are true, then you can save your money. I will mention to no one that I saw either of you tonight, and neither will Penelope." He glanced at her apologetically, she presumed for speaking for her, before continuing. "All I ask is that both of you think about what you truly want. Truly. I do not say often enough, Anthony, how deeply I admire you. You are an excellent viscount, and our family is fortunate to have you. Your happiness is important to me because you are my brother, and I care for you, but it would be a lie to deny that your contentment would also benefit the entire family. Your moodiness grows quite wearisome to all of us. Kate, I think I made my appreciation for you clear earlier, and I look forward to the day that I can call you 'Sister', be it through Miss Edwina or otherwise." Without allowing either of them a chance to respond, he concluded, "It is rather late. I believe Penelope and I shall retire."

Colin got up, held his hand out to Penelope, and when she took it, he led them out of the room. When they got out in the hallway, Penelope smiled at him and whispered, "Do you think they will listen to you?"

Colin shook his head. "I have no idea. I hope so, but Anthony can be very stubborn. I had not known about this overnight meeting between them last time, but I know Daphne walked in on them in a somewhat compromising position in that same room during the ball tomorrow evening. Anthony proposed to Edwina the next day."

Penelope sighed. "I suppose we shall see."

Colin walked Penelope back to her guestroom, and after quickly glancing around, he kissed her gently. "Goodnight, Miss Featherington…for now."

Penelope smiled widely as she let herself back into her room. She had dreamed for so long of one day being Mrs. Bridgerton, and now it seemed on the cusp of becoming true. She could hardly believe how quickly things had changed between her and Colin. She had no doubt after all he had said today that he cared for her. She had also not known pleasure like she had experienced earlier existed, and his comments led her to believe that there was more she had yet to experience. She was embarrassingly impatient to discover what those other things might be. It was difficult to imagine anything more pleasurable than what she had felt when Colin touched her. She also could not help but remember the thrilling feeling when she watched his face as she touched him. Seeing, and hearing, him lose control because of what she was doing to him made her feel powerful, and she was delighted to have experienced it.

Pleasure aside, Penelope still had some niggling anxiety. She had some questions about how her future counterpart and Colin had gotten together, despite having heard the story today. She was sure there were some details he left out, perhaps because of Daphne's presence or for brevity or some other reason. He had referred multiple times to having hurt her at the end of this season, but never quite explained how. She also still wondered how she compared to the Penelope he had married. While it was clear he desired her as she was now, and she believed his impassioned declaration of love, there was still a part of her that worried.

Regardless, Penelope was blissfully happy. Colin, who she had loved an embarrassingly long time, loved her. He wanted her to be his wife. She couldn't quite stop the giddiness, despite her concerns.

With all these tangled emotions and thoughts, Penelope slipped into bed. Despite the excitement of the day, or perhaps because of it, Penelope drifted quickly to sleep. The next morning, she awoke with a smile.

Colin did not wake slowly. He sat bolt upright as the first rays of sun came through his curtains. He knew today would be a very long day. Two years ago, he had done nothing on this day besides stay in his room and ponder all that Lady Crane had said. There had been, if he were honest, a bit of sulking as well. He hadn't even gone to the ball. Today, on the other hand, there were several conversations he needed to have. He needed to talk to Lord Featherington. He needed to talk to his mother, and preferably the rest of his siblings, about his engagement. He, Penelope, and Daphne needed to talk to Lady Featherington. He hoped to talk to Daphne about Anthony and Kate. He would also like to see how Eloise was doing. He wouldn't mind seeing how Edwina was faring. He also desperately wanted to dance with Penelope at the ball. He loved dancing with Penelope, and due to the birth of Elliot, Colin hadn't danced with Penelope in over six months before he woke up here. The ball, however, seemed like a very long time from now, and there was a lot to do before that.

Colin's dreams had been odd the night before. He had thought, perhaps naively, that now that he was engaged to Penelope, he would feel a bit more settled. Instead, his sleep had been restless. He dreamed mostly of Elliot, which filled him with sorrow. It also brought up the question of what, precisely, to do about intimacy with Penelope. Assuming Colin did what he wanted to do, which was to be intimate with her as soon and as often as possible, it seemed next to impossible for them not to conceive a child for over a year. Men talked, so he knew that there were ways to lessen the chance of a woman become with child, but he honestly wasn't sure he would be successful once, let alone for a year. Being inside her was too good and too precious and too overwhelming for him to trust himself to spill outside of her. He was also still unsure if planning to conceive a child on the same day as Elliot would even work. Assuming a child conceived on the same day would be him, part of Colin wondered if the timing could work for Elliot to be his second child. It would potentially cost Elliot the title of Lord Featherington, depending on what happened regarding that, but it could still work. Colin knew, rationally, that probably none of his planning mattered, since it was so incomprehensible and up to fate or God anyway. He continued to pray that he would see Elliot again, but he found himself growing hopeless.

Colin hated thinking about intimacy with Penelope like this at all. Of course, he had thought about intimacy with her plenty. Occasionally, starting around a year before her debut. With increasing frequency after he got back from his trip to Greece and even more during his second tour when she stopped writing and all he could think about was her. Nearly impossibly often once he first kissed her. In the weeks after his wedding, when they were estranged, he gave more thought than he would have imagined possible to when he would be able to be fully present with her and join with her and bed her as a man should his wife. Since their reconciliation after her sisters' ball, intimacy with her became something that happened often and easily. Something that he thought about more often than he should, perhaps, but always in eager anticipation or happy reminiscence. There was a gap after Elliot was born, of course, when they weren't intimate, but after some initial hesitancy to cause her pain, it was again something that purely brought joy and connection. But now, he was sitting here thinking about intimacy with Penelope as if it needed a strategy, and he hated it. She was Penelope, and he loved her. There should need to be no more thought than that, but here he was. Thinking. Planning. Calculating weeks and months. He hated it, but he could not seem to stop.

Colin made his way down toward the breakfast room. As luck would have it, Jack Featherington was stepping out of the room as Colin was arriving. Colin greeted the man with a smile. "Lord Featherington, I would like a word, if you have a moment." He looked a bit puzzled but nodded and followed Colin into a small study across the hall. "Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. I will not take up much of your time. I simply wanted to formally ask for permission to wed Miss Penelope. She has already agreed, but I told her I would speak to you as the head of her family."

Jack Featherington was clearly surprised, and he stammered out, "Mr. Bridgerton, I do not—"

Before he could get any further, Colin held up his hand to forestall him. "I know the previous Lord Featherington had something of a gambling problem. I do not know the details, nor do I wish to, but I want to assure you that my financial situation permits me to marry whomever I wish, without regard for the size of her dowry, or indeed, if there even is one."

It was clear that Jack Featherington was both relieved and trying not to appear to be at the same time. "I am glad to hear of your willingness to wed Penelope, despite her lack of a dowry. She is a sweet girl. I feel odd giving my permission in place of someone more closely related, but I am happy to grant it."

Colin smiled. "Would you mind not telling the dowager Lady Featherington quite yet? I believe Penelope would like to tell her mother herself."

The current Lord Featherington smiled. "Perhaps you should ask her permission, as well. I know she desires a secure match for both her daughters."

Colin smiled tightly and said, "Perhaps" before excusing himself and heading out. That conversation went almost exactly as expected. It wasn't as if Jack Featherington was Penelope's father or brother and might want to question Colin more, and it wasn't as if there was going to much negotiation about a dowry.

As Penelope exited her room to head toward breakfast, her mind was full of all the people she hoped to talk to today. She was also nervous about publicly announcing her betrothal and what that would mean for Lady Whistledown. She had been able to gather as much information as she had by being invisible. It seemed unlikely that she would remain quite as invisible with the last name Bridgerton. Colin had not gone into detail about what the Penelope of 1815 and 1816 had done about her column. He talked of certain things, like her sneaking around, as if they were long over, and he mentioned her standing up to the Queen, but Penelope was unsure why that had been necessary or what had happened. A terrible thought struck her: Colin had mentioned being angry about his wife being Lady Whistledown. Had she given it up to appease him? Somehow, she didn't think so, or maybe she just hoped not.

She realized the more she thought that there was a lot she didn't know, and much she should discuss with Colin. In addition to all her other worries about how she compared to the other Penelope, this Penelope wondered if Colin was just going to forge ahead trying to recreate his married life without actually checking with her about what she wanted. Of course, since he mentioned having a house within twelve hours of his last proposal, maybe forging ahead was just how Colin was.

Lost in thought, she turned a corner and nearly ran straight into Eloise. Eloise said, "Pen, I—" at the same time that Penelope said, "El, can we—"

They both laughed tentatively. Eloise sighed, "I know I did not react well last night, but I am still unsure how to feel. I feel like you kept something from me." Penelope flinched, but Eloise continued, "I am not saying you lied, but I had no idea either of you were even interested in marriage, and now you are engaged. It seems very sudden."

Penelope nodded. "It is quick. I will not deny that. But it is all I want, El. I know that is not what you want to hear, but it is true."

Eloise shook her head. "I just feel like there is more going on than you are telling me. I know Colin can be remarkably compelling when he wants to be, but agreeing to marry him a week after his return seems rash. I would not have expected it from you."

Penelope did not know how to respond to that. Eloise, of course, was correct. There were many things Penelope was keeping from Eloise, and many of them Penelope could not share. Sighing, she said, "I have cared for Colin from the moment we met. It started as a silly infatuation, and turned into a real friendship over time. Over the last year and through our letters when he was abroad, we grew closer. Colin's feelings may be much altered, but mine are not. I am happy, El. It is quick, but for much of my life, being with him and being a part of your family is all I have wanted."

Eloise looked away and then met Penelope's gaze. "It is not that I do not believe you. I just cannot help but feel like there is something I do not know. Between everything that happened with Marina last year and how sudden your engagement is, I almost hope I am missing something. I care for you, Pen. You are my dearest friend. And Colin is my brother. I could not tolerate one of you breaking the other's heart. My own could not bear it."

Before she could formulate a response, Colin exited a door down the hall. Seeing Penelope, he walked toward them. Eloise looked at Penelope and smiled sadly. "I am trying, Pen. I am just—" She broke off and squeezed Penelope's hand. Shaking her head again, she excused herself before Colin reached them.

Colin looked at Penelope with concern. "Is Eloise alright?"

Penelope tilted her head to the side, unsure of how to answer. "She is concerned and a bit upset, but I believe she will come around."

Colin nodded and then escorted Penelope into the breakfast room. They sat with Hyacinth, Gregory, and Francesca. They declined to mention their engagement, but Hyacinth was looking between them curiously, and Francesca was softly smiling in a way that made Penelope wonder if she had an inkling about it. Once they had finished eating, Colin asked Penelope to come with him to the ballroom to discuss something with their mother and Daphne. Hyacinth broke into a wide grin. Colin ignored her, so Penelope followed his lead, as they both stood and left together.

As Penelope and Colin walked toward the ballroom, Penelope found herself nervous about how Lady Bridgerton would react to news of their betrothal. "Do you think your mother will be surprised?"

Colin shook his head. "Maybe a bit with the speed, but I told her a few days ago that I hoped you would eventually consent to be my wife."

Penelope looked at him in surprise. "Truly?"

With a nod, Colin said, "She asked me about my feelings for you the morning after you had tea with us. I saw no reason to be less than truthful."

Penelope was silent for a moment before she asked, "Was she surprised when you got engaged to the other Penelope?"

Colin smiled, "She was delighted. Again, maybe surprised by the timing, but I believe she figured out I had feelings for you at the Innovations Ball when I—"

Penelope stopped walking. Colin looked back at her with a concerned look on his face. "Are you well, Pen?"

She gestured with her head toward the room they had been in with Daphne the day before. When they were both inside, and Colin had shut the door, she said, "Tell me about this ball."

"The ball?"

"Yes, the Innovations Ball."

"Well, you were talking with Lord Debling when my mother—"

Groaning, Penelope said, "I do not care about Lord Debling. Can you—"

"That's certainly good to hear."

"Colin, I need you to listen." He nodded. "What was the Innovations Ball?"

Colin frowned as if Penelope were missing the most important part of the story. "Do you know Lord Hawkins? He is something of an eccentric, but he delights in the progress of man, I suppose. He had a hot air balloon demonstration and a fair, and then that evening he had a ball. There were displays of different inventions and innovations. Later, you told me this amusing story about when Lord Hawkins tried to show your mother—"

"Are you telling me that you were at a ball in 1815 with displays of things that were newly invented?"

"Yes, but it was also—"

Penelope huffed, and Colin broke off. She had rarely felt this level of frustration toward Colin, but she was quite familiar with this feeling. It was precisely how she felt when Eloise was focused on something and simply would not listen to Penelope. Trying a different strategy, she asked, "Why do you think my mother helped Cousin Jack defraud the ton?" Colin tilted his head to the side while he considered how to phrase his response. Penelope sighed. "It's simple, Colin. We need money. You have seen the ledgers."

"Well, yes, but—"

"No, Colin, we need money. My mother saw a way to achieve security, and she seized it. If we stop the fraud from taking place, which I agree we should, we still need money." Colin continued to look confused. "In 1816, how is the Featherington Estate funded?"

Colin sighed. "Once Elliot was born, I combined the Estate with the money that Pen and I had. There is the annuity I receive from the Bridgerton Estate, some investments, the money Pen is making from Lady Whistledown—"

"She was still writing?"

Colin frowned. "Of course. Why would—"

Penelope smiled, but waved a hand and said, "Forget that, keep going with the funding."

"There's the money I'm making from sales of my book, and—"

"You wrote a book?"

"Have I not mentioned that?"

"No, you have not."

Colin looked both bashful and proud. Until that moment, Penelope wouldn't have thought those two emotions could exist on someone's face at the same time, but Colin managed it. He nodded and said, "It was about my travels."

"Ah, that makes sense. The descriptions of the places you have visited in your letters are truly marvelous."

Blushing and clearing his throat, Colin continued, "Oh, well, it is truly due to you that—"

"I would love to hear more later, but let us focus on the matter at hand." When Colin seemed like he wasn't following, Penelope said, "The money, Colin."

Looking a bit disappointed, Colin continued, "There's also still some of the money from the fraud, but I was trying to come up with ways to discretely return it before, well, this."

"Let me make sure I understand." Colin nodded. "Two years from now, with all your wealth and two other sources of income, the Featherington Estate is still somewhat dependent on the money that was stolen?"

Colin tilted his head to the side. "A bit, I suppose, but the biggest problem is that returning the money is difficult if we do not want to admit we still have the stolen funds."

Penelope nodded. "I have been trying to figure out how we will make money without stealing it, and I think I finally have figured it out."

Colin looked confused. "How?"

"You were considering investing in Cousin Jack's scheme before you knew it was fake, correct?" Colin nodded. "You could, if you chose, invest in something else?" Colin nodded again. "And in 1815, you were at an event where you saw what was very recently invented and innovated?" Colin was beginning to look less sure, but nodded again. "And it's still 1814." Colin just stared at her. "Is there something, anything, that you remember from the next two years that my family could invest in now? It would take a few years to make up when we invested, and the Featherington Estate would have to borrow the initial investment from you, and maybe a bit more for our daily expenses, but since we know the investment will be profitable, it should be alright."

Colin frowned. "Is that fair? If we know things others do not?"

Penelope put her hands on her hips and looked at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at Colin. "We would be helping an inventor and stealing from no one. Unless you come up with a better idea, this is the best I have."

Colin nodded slowly. "The idea is good." Looking sheepish, he added, "I was, however, a bit distracted at the Innovations Ball."

Penelope had never been more forcefully reminded that Colin was Eloise's brother. The two of them were so different but also so very similar. Their focus could be very singular to the point of excluding anything else. Clearing her throat and trying to reign in her frustration, Penelope said, "Before we get back to Mayfair, I want you to write down everything you remember about the displays, the inventions, even the object Lord Hawkins tried to show my mother. Then you will give it to me, and I will find out what I can about the inventors and what they are currently doing."

Colin looked baffled. "How will you—"

Penelope huffed. "I am Lady Whistledown. Finding information is what I do." Colin opened his mouth and closed it again before nodding. With a sigh, she said, "Shall we go see your mother now?"

When they entered the ballroom, Daphne and Violet were arranging some of the flowers for that evening's ball and clearly finishing discussing something. They both turned to face Colin and Penelope as they approached. Penelope wondered how Colin had planned to tell them and was startled by him suddenly saying, "We are engaged!" with no introduction. She looked at him in confusion, and the look on his face made it seem like he was annoyed with himself.

Before Penelope could decide what to make of that, Daphne said, "Well, that's one thing settled, then." Smiling, she embraced her brother.

Violet said, "I am delighted for you both" and hugged Penelope. Penelope could rarely remember receiving such a warm and maternal embrace.

Pulling away reluctantly, Penelope said, "Thank you, Lady Bridgerton."

Colin took her hand and said, "I was hoping, perhaps, we might announce it more formally this evening."

Violet nodded and smiled. "Announcing it at the ball would be lovely."

Colin continued, "I have yet to tell Francesca, Gregory, or Hyacinth, though I believe Hyacinth has figured out, and Francesca has some idea. I have spoken to Lord Featherington, but Penelope and I would like to talk to Lady Featherington before the news spreads too widely."

Daphne snorted, "Then perhaps, Brother, you should not have shouted it so loudly in the ballroom." Penelope giggled. She was glad to be gaining Daphne as a sister.

After a few more minutes of conversation, Colin, Daphne, and Penelope left Lady Bridgerton in the ballroom. When they got out in the hallway, Daphne said, "I am glad you both heeded my advice."

Colin rolled his eyes. "If you think I am marrying Penelope because of you, you are sorely mistaken."

Daphne shook her head before asking, "Is there a plan for how we want to speak to Lady Featherington? Or what we want to say?"

Both Colin and Penelope shook their heads before Penelope asked, "Should Colin and I tell her about the engagement alone before Daphne joins us?"

Daphne nodded. "That is sensible. There is no reason why I should be there for that. I can come in later."

Colin said, "Penelope has an idea for how we can help the Featheringtons with their financial situation, but I do not know if we should tell Lady Featherington before matters are more settled."

Penelope looked thoughtful. "I tend to agree. I only worry that if we present no solution, my mother will do something rash to try to secure some way to help our finances."

Daphne nodded. "Perhaps we can imply that Colin might know more about other business dealings. That allowed him to find out about Lord Featherington, and perhaps will allow him to find other sources of income for the Featheringtons."

Penelope nodded. "That is essentially my plan with all the details removed." Once they were in agreement about what to say, the group went their separate ways.

Colin and Penelope went to find Lady Featherington. They found her in the drawing room. Colin found himself surprisingly nervous. He had never really done this before, and while he had complicated feelings about Lady Featherington, she was Penelope's mother, and he would like to avoid an adversarial relationship if at all possible. Clearing his throat, Colin said, "Lady Featherington, may Penelope and I have a word with you privately?" She looked suspicious but nodded and followed them to a small sitting room.

Penelope addressed her mother, "Mama, Colin and I are to be married."

Lady Featherington shook her head and said, "Penelope, what have you done?"

Colin knew that he should not have been surprised. He had heard Lady Featherington say much worse to the Penelope he had married in 1815, but part of him had still hoped this calm announcement of their marriage would have been believable to Portia, if nothing else. Colin glanced at Penelope, and he could almost see her shrinking into herself. He grabbed her hand and said, "What Penelope has done, Lady Featherington, is capture my heart. I am sure you know we corresponded while I was abroad, and she was already one of my dearest friends, but now, I find myself utterly besotted with your daughter. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with her."

Penelope blushed scarlet, but Lady Featherington seemed unconvinced. "You always have been very charming, Mr. Bridgerton. But we are speaking of Penelope. If she has done something to—"

Colin interrupted. "I love Penelope, Lady Featherington, and I wish very much to marry her. I do not know how to be clearer."

Still sounding unsure, Portia said, "Very well."

Colin knew that he needed Lady Featherington to trust him, and that was the only reason he was able to hold his tongue. "I have already spoken to Lord Featherington, and he has given his blessing, such as it is, but we both wished to speak with you before a more public announcement."

Lady Featherington cleared her throat and looked uncomfortable. "Has he agreed to provide a sufficiently generous dowry?"

Colin shook his head. "I informed him I have no need of one. My wealth is sufficient for me and Penelope to be more than comfortable." Portia's eyes snapped to his. Colin realized this was the first time in this conversation she truly comprehended that he deeply loved Penelope. He shouldn't have been surprised that it was the money that made her understand.

Raising her eyebrows at Penelope, Portia smiled at Penelope. "You have done very well."

Penelope rolled her eyes and said, "Thank you, Mama."

Colin cleared his throat and turned to her, "Pen, could you go and see if you can find Daphne? I will wait here with your mother." He kissed her knuckles before releasing her hand and smiling at her.

Once Penelope had left the room, Colin turned toward Lady Featherington, "We only have a minute before they return, but I want to make something very clear."

"Mr. Bridgerton, if Penelope has—"

"Do not continue that sentence. I love your daughter. Deeply. I had to convince her to marry me. I do not want to hear you ever imply that Penelope tricked or trapped me into marriage. She is perfection itself, and I am the most fortunate of men that she has consented to marry me. Do not ever imply otherwise to her or to me again. Are we understood?"

Lady Featherington nodded slightly. Before Colin could say anything else, Penelope returned with Daphne. Portia looked confused as she greeted Daphne with a murmured, "Your Grace."

Colin cleared his throat and said, "There is something else I wished to discuss with you, Lady Featherington. Now that we are to be family, I would like to make you aware of something that I have discovered, so that you will know, and we can all decide together how best to proceed." Portia's eyebrows raised, but she said nothing. "The current Lord Featherington has no wealth. His mines are worthless. The ruby necklaces he has or has given away are no more than colored glass." Lady Featherington put her hand to her mouth. Colin continued, "I understand that the late Lord Featherington had something of a gambling problem." At this, Portia looked off to the side. "I do not know the financial situation of your family, Lady Featherington, but I feel it is my filial duty to provide whatever help I can, if it is necessary."

"Mr. Bridgerton, I assure you, I did not know of the current Lord Featherington's financial predicament."

Colin shook his head. "I did not think you were aware, which is why we felt we had to tell you."

Portia fiddled with her decorative hair clip. "May I ask how you came across this information?"

Colin nodded. "I was looking into some investments. I have a source who is very knowledgeable about certain ventures. Lord Featherington is known by this person to be penniless."

"Do you trust this person, Mr. Bridgerton? There is no chance they are mistaken?"

"There is no chance. I trust this person as much as I trust myself."

Daphne interjected, "I know this is difficult, Lady Featherington. As Penelope is to be my sister, I am as committed to helping her family as I would my own." Portia seemed startled by this pronouncement. "Colin's connections are above reproach. We thought you might be interested to know that he has some knowledge of some very, shall we say, certain investments. If my sister and her family were to need a loan to participate in such investments, the Duchy of Hastings would make that happen." The rest of the occupants in the room looked at Daphne in shock. They had not discussed this part. Colin was deeply moved that his sister would participate to this extent.

Portia stammered out a response. "Your Grace, that is too—"

"I am not done. I personally will provide a dowry to Prudence. Shall we say 5000 pounds?"

"I do not understand."

"I have known Penelope since I was a child, and now she truly will be my sister. Her happiness, and that of her family, are important to me. And the reputation of all of you, of course, since it will reflect on me. I could not bear to see her family's reputation tarnished. It would not do at all."

Lady Featherington was still struggling to know how to react.

"There is still another matter. I know Lord Featherington hopes to marry someone with wealth."

With dawning realization, Porta said, "Someone like Miss Cressida Cowper."

Daphne nodded. "Precisely. I do not know if that is something you wish to happen, as that would make her Lady Featherington. I trust you can influence the match, depending on the desired outcome?" Portia nodded. "Perfect."

Colin cleared his throat. "There is a possibility that Lord Featherington's lies would be of interest to the Crown. However, there are no male heirs beside him if he were to be removed, and then the Estate would revert to the Crown." Portia blanched. "If you are lucky, perhaps one of your daughters might provide one before too long."

Portia looked at him like she had figured something out. Colin did not like it at all. If she thought this was all a scheme so he could end up the father of a lord, she was mistaken. Well, not entirely. But the barony itself was not what was important to Colin. He decided to let her think what she wanted, since this motive would make sense to her. With a small smile that was vaguely terrifying, she said, "I am sure you are up to the task, Mr. Bridgerton." It took everything in him not to shudder.

As Daphne, Penelope, and Colin left the room, Colin reflected that the conversation had gone about as well as could be anticipated. He hoped Portia would cooperate, and Daphne specifically giving her the role of influencing Jack Featherington's marriage had been brilliant. It would hopefully keep her occupied and away from other parts of their plan. With the knowledge that today was far from over, he already felt a measure of relief.

Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Summary:

Colin and Penelope have a serious discussion. Everyone heads to the ball, and Colin and Penelope's betrothal is announced.

When Colin, Penelope, and Daphne got into the hallway after speaking with Lady Featherington, both Colin and Penelope turned to Daphne. Penelope started speaking first. "Daphne, you do not have to do that. I could have afforded Prudence's dowry. This is too much."

Daphne shook her head. "If we want your mother to view me as someone to trust and not a threat, I need to be deeply involved. Anyway, what I said is true, you shall be my sister."

Colin asked, "Will Simon be angry you volunteered so much of his money without speaking to him?"

Daphne laughed. "I should not think so. He trusts my decisions, but Anthony did provide a very substantial dowry for me, over Simon's protestations. I may use it as I see fit, though I hope the bulk of it will go to my children. Besides, would you be angry with Penelope if she were in my place?"

Colin shook his head. "Of course not."

Before any more discussion could be had, a small pink blur collided with Penelope. Upon further examination, Colin saw that Edwina was exuberantly hugging Penelope while wearing a pink day dress.

Edwina squealed and said, "Kate told me on the way to breakfast that you were engaged. I have been searching for you to offer my felicitations." With a smile, she asked, "Was it a romantic proposal? Mr. Bridgerton seemed so smitten the other day that I do hope he planned something special."

Daphne and Penelope both laughed while Colin cringed slightly. He might have some romantic sensibilities, but he had never quite managed a romantic proposal any of the times he asked someone to marry him. Penelope smiled, "He was certainly heartfelt. He has quite a way with words. While I think of him as more of a writer, I was rather impressed by what he said."

"I could not be happier for you, Penelope. You are fortunate to have found someone who loves you so truly."

Edwina's face fell as she said the final part, and Penelope squeezed her hand. "I hope you will also find such happiness." Edwina nodded and excused herself quickly, still looking upset.

Once she had turned a corner, Daphne turned to Colin and Penelope. "How, pray tell, did Kate find out before breakfast that you two were betrothed?" They both froze. Colin had absolutely no idea how to answer without breaking his promise to Anthony. Daphne knew that she had left them late in the evening. There weren't many explanations for when they could have seen Kate.

Penelope finally said, "Kate happened to run into us yesterday evening." Colin smiled widely at her word choice, and Daphne noticed.

Narrowing her eyes, she focused on Colin and asked, "What are you not telling me?"

"It is as Penelope said. We saw Kate yesterday evening, and she heard our good news."

"Was she alone?" Colin opened his mouth and closed it again. Daphne could be relentless once she got an idea in her head. This was a trait she shared with several of their siblings. She sighed and continued, "Please tell me Anthony was not with her."

Colin cleared his throat. "I cannot."

Penelope burst out, "Colin!"

Daphne looked between the two of them while shaking her head. "I wish I was more surprised. I truly like Miss Edwina, and her happiness for the two of you does her credit. I told Mother this morning that I rather think all of us need a bit of a challenge. Kate seems to be the type of challenge that would be good for Anthony. They share certain similarities."

Penelope wrinkled her nose. "I am not much of a challenge. Perhaps I shall bore Colin."

Colin looked at her incredulously. "Have you forgotten that you came up with a workable plan for helping your family based on an offhand remark I made about a ball?"

"Well, yes, but it was just that I was paying attention."

Colin shook his head. "And need I remind you of your—" He broke off, looking at Daphne, and trying to figure out how to reference Whistledown in her presence. "And need I remind you of your other, ah, talents? At which you are quite successful, I might add."

Daphne shouted, "Colin Bridgerton!" and Penelope blushed scarlet.

Horrified, Colin shouted, "No! I did not mean anything untoward. Penelope is quite gifted at writing, um, things, like letters."

Daphne looked confused. "I do not see how that is anything other than, well, sweet, but I shall trust your judgement. You will do just fine Penelope, since you are clearly much cleverer than my brother." Colin rolled his eyes. "Speaking of how my brothers are not very clever, I think I shall go talk to Anthony." When Colin flinched, Daphne added, "I will not mention you two seeing him last night. Do not fret." With that, she walked off.

Colin gestured Penelope into a sitting room nearby. Once he shut the door, Penelope inhaled sharply before saying, "I know you were trying to compliment me, but I would prefer if you did not allude to Whistledown when others are around."

Colin nodded. "I know. It was not well done of me. But you must admit that being married to Lady Whistledown will be a bit of a challenge."

Penelope looked at him questioningly. "Is it? You would know."

Colin tilted his head. "In some ways, I suppose. But in the 1815 I lived through, Whistledown's identity was revealed soon after my wedding. For almost all my marriage, it was not a secret, which changed things."

Penelope was surprised. "Who revealed it?"

Colin smiled. "The author herself." Penelope gasped. "The Queen had offered a reward for anyone with information about your identity. With that and Miss Cowper's blackmail, Penelope decided to reveal her secret. I am sure I had an impact on the choice as well. I was, frankly, not very kind about her continuing to write in secret."

Penelope shook her head. "I have trouble imagining you being unkind."

Colin sighed sadly. This had been worrying him. He knew this Penelope loved him, but he was unsure how clearly she saw him. Penelope had always seen and appreciated him more than anyone else, but this version of her was less familiar with his flaws. This version had had the young man she was infatuated with suddenly confess his feelings. And while he did love her completely, he did not know if her love for him was as complete as his for her. He wanted to know if she would still choose him if she knew everything. "We should sit. I think there are some things you need to hear." After they sat, Colin swallowed and said, "I know I have told you how angry I was when I found out about Whistledown, but I am afraid you still think too highly of me."

Penelope looked confused. "Do you not want me to think highly of you? We are to be married. I would think it to be encouraged."

Colin smiled. "I do, but I worry that you do not view me as realistically as the Penelope who married me in 1815 did. I was far from perfect. I hope I am a better man now than I was then, but I am terrified I will disappoint you when you find out certain things."

"I believe we are true enough friends that I know you are not perfect."

Colin shook his head. "I understand this makes no sense, but I almost wish the other Penelope could tell you what certain events were like for her."

"Like what?"

"Remember the night of Lady Danbury's soirée?" Penelope nodded. "That is the first thing I knowingly changed when I woke up back here. And I don't even really remember the first time very well. I only know what I said because your counterpart remembered it and told me after we were married. I had told you I'd sworn off women, and you pointed out that you were a woman, and I said, 'You are Pen. You do not count. You are my friend.'" Penelope flinched, and Colin nodded. "My intent, for what it is worth, was to pay you a compliment. You were not a debutante with whom I was idly flirting to pass the time. You were my friend."

"But I could quote it to you over a year later because it had hurt me so badly to hear."

"Precisely." Colin sighed. "There were other instances. I hurt you very badly with a callous comment at the ball at your family's house at the end of this season. I hardly remembered saying it until you reminded me months later. At the same time, you had not returned any of my letters while I was traveling. I was incredibly hurt. Your letters and friendship were important to me in ways I did not understand until it was gone."

"That's why you never received any letters after now?" Colin nodded, and Penelope furrowed her brow. "What did you say?"

Colin swallowed. "After everything with your mother and Jack Featherington, we went back to the ballroom and danced. You thanked me for protecting you. I said I would always protect you because you were special to me. After that, you had your fight with Eloise. When you came out to the garden to look for her, you heard me talking to several other young men. Lord Fife mentioned that the way we had been dancing was interesting, and he asked if we were courting. I asked if he'd gone mad, said I would never court you, not even in his wildest fantasies."

Penelope looked away and refused to meet his eyes. "Oh."

"When I attempted to speak to you outside of Lady Danbury's ball, I was so determined to be charming. I missed you so terribly, and all I wanted was to talk to you, to joke with you, to dance with you, to see you look at me like I was someone special, to understand why you never replied to my letters. I only got the last of those. Your counterpart told me precisely what I had done. When she said I was embarrassed of her and called me cruel—" He broke off, unsure how to continue. He shook his head. "I do not think I slept that night. I knew I had to make it right. I would have done anything." He chuckled ruefully. "Perhaps I should have known then that I loved you. Knowing I had hurt you, and knowing you thought less of me were both unbearable."

Penelope finally looked at him. She looked so small and sad. "It was cruel, especially in front of other young men potentially looking for wives."

Colin nodded. "I know."

"What did you do? I know you offered to help me find a husband, but how did that come about?"

"I apologized to you the day after Lady Danbury's ball. I said I was not the man I had been this season and that I was certainly not ashamed of you and that the opposite was true. I told you that I seek you out because you will lift my spirits and make me see the world in ways I had not imagined. I said you were clever and warm, and I wanted to so badly to tell you that you were beautiful, but that seemed far enough outside the bounds of our friendship that I stopped myself. When you said you were vexed that I could walk into society with ease when you could not achieve comfort on the marriage mart, I offered to help you find a husband, since I had discovered that charm could be taught." He rolled his eyes at himself.

"And then what?"

"We started our lessons, such as they were. Before I had apologized, you had also written about me in Whistledown. It was not, um, complimentary."

Penelope raised her eyebrows. "Did I say anything untrue?"

Colin laughed at this. "No. No, you did not. You saw me quite clearly. As did my mother and Eloise. Many other people were charmed by my new persona, such as it was. But you were not fooled, either as Whistledown or Penelope."

"I know you are concerned, Colin, and I appreciate all you are telling me. But I am not your wife. Or I'm not the other Penelope. You did not say these things to me. You do not need to apologize for them any more than I need to apologize for what the other Penelope wrote in Whistledown. I see you clearly, Colin. I know I missed two years of your life, and I know I am not the same as the other Penelope, but I know you."

Colin nodded. "I apologize, and if you do not wish to hear—"

Penelope blushed a little. "I know it is inappropriate, but I do want to hear. I am curious about certain, well, aspects of the story."

Colin smiled. "Oh? Which aspects would those be?"

"I assume you left out certain things when you told Daphne, but I want all of them eventually, even the ones—"

Colin smiled. The other Penelope had always liked his stories about other women, since she was secure enough in his attachment to her to not be bothered and just found them interesting, even titillating. He was amused that both versions of Penelope seemed to share the same fascination. "Daphne need not know certain details. Some are, shall we say, too intimate. Those stories are only for you."

"You will tell me?"

Colin nodded. "I will tell you whatever you wish to know. No matter how intimate it might be."

She bit her lip and then said, "I look forward to hearing them." After a pause, Penelope asked, "May I ask you something?" Colin nodded. "Are you well, Colin? Truly?" When it looked like he was about to answer, Penelope held up a hand to stop him. "No, let me finish. I believe you when you say you love me. I do believe you wish to marry me. I believe that you view me and the other Penelope as both being versions of the same person you fell in love with. I am not doubting that. But a week ago, you lost your wife and son. And now you are marrying me. Are you truly alright? I do not want you to pretend to be for my sake."

Colin swallowed and shook his head. "I do not know. I do love you. I am ecstatic to marry you. I get to experience all these things with you again or differently than I did with the other Penelope, and it is indescribable. I get to marry the love of my life twice. I got to kiss you for the first time twice. I am foolishly in love with you, so there is much elation to be found in that."

"And yet?"

"I did not lie in what I said to Daphne. Missing Elliot is indescribably painful. There are times when I am with you or when I am trying to rectify something here or when I am holding Augie that I can almost forget. But as soon as I stop, it is overwhelming. I miss the weight of Elliot sleeping on my chest. I miss the increasing awareness in his gaze. I miss how his breathing would even out whenever I sang to him. I miss the person I was with him. It is a strange thing to say, perhaps, but I was good at being a father. And now I am not one. I do not know how to reconcile this all-encompassing pain with the true delight I find with falling in love with you all over again."

Penelope held his gaze even though her eyes were filled with tears. "Oh, Colin. Please do not think I do not want to hear this. You are allowed to mourn the loss of the life you had. You are allowed to grieve the loss of Elliot and your wife."

Colin smiled sadly. "I do not want you to think I regret being here with you."

Penelope shook her head. "I know you did not choose it, but I truly believe you love me. That does not make your love for Elliot or the other Penelope any less." Colin nodded. "And Colin, you are still a father. As long as you love him, you are still Elliot's father."

Colin had not expected his conversation with Penelope to take this turn, but he was glad he had been honest with her about how he was feeling. Somehow, it made the burden seem just a little bit lighter. He leaned forward to grab her hand, kissed her knuckles, and said, "I do not know what I would do without you." It was true. Penelope made this possible. It allowed him to keep breathing, to find joy in this situation, to know that someone saw him.

Penelope smiled, "Nor I without you."

Penelope sat in her bedchamber awaiting Rae to help her get dressed for the ball. She was glad Colin had been honest with her earlier about what he was going through. Her heart broke for him. She might not have a child, but she did know what it was like to love someone. Colin's situation was unique, and she imagined the suddenness of it, along with the lack of agency he had over it, could only make it worse, but losing someone you love is unbearable under any circumstances. In public, he had to pretend to be his old self and to be unchanged. It was the nature of his situation. But she hoped that in front of her, he would allow her to see how he truly was faring. She did not want him to pretend with her, especially once they were living together. She loved him, even when he was imperfect or brokenhearted or any other negative emotion. She loved him for all he was, good and bad. She hoped he understood that.

When Rae was doing her hair, Penelope said to her, "Colin Bridgerton has asked me to marry him."

Rae smiled at her in the mirror. "Yes, miss. The servants were all discussing it today. I hear he told his mother quite loudly in the ballroom. Several servants were there."

Penelope smiled back. "He is not very subtle."

"No, miss, but they said he seemed quite besotted."

Penelope cleared her throat. "Once I am married, I will be in need of a maid more permanently. I wondered if you might be interested in joining our household staff."

"That is very kind of you, miss. Are you sure? You have known me but a few days."

Penelope smiled. "I have always been a good judge of character. Besides, I have heard nothing but good things about you."

Rae met her gaze again and said, "Then I would be delighted. You have been quite kind."

Penelope felt happy with that decision, and she trusted Colin's judgement. Penelope only hoped she could earn this Rae's trust and loyalty as her future counterpart had.

Penelope had agreed to meet Colin before they walked into the ballroom together. As she approached Colin, Daphne was heading toward them from the other direction. Once they had all exchanged pleasantries. Daphne said, "I spoke with Anthony this afternoon. I do not believe it did one bit of good. I do believe he is the most stubborn of our siblings."

Penelope grimaced. "Well, that is quite an accomplishment indeed."

Daphne smiled. "You do know us well." She then excused herself to head into the ballroom.

Colin offered Penelope his arm. "Are you alright with Mother announcing our engagement? If you would rather announce it differently, that is fine with me."

Penelope smiled. "I am happy for it to be announced. I should like to share my happiness publicly for all to see."

Before Colin could respond, the Sharmas and Lady Danbury approached. Edwina greeted Penelope with a smile. "Is there to be a formal announcement this evening of your happy news?"

Penelope nodded, and Lady Danbury said, "Ah, yes, I heard congratulations were in order. I see you have chosen well this time, Mr. Bridgerton."

Colin stammered, "I, well, yes. I do believe I have."

Lady Danbury hummed slightly as they all turned to head down the stairs. On the landing, Anthony and Violet approached the group. Anthony offered his hand to Edwina and asked if he could claim her first dance. Colin made an audible scoffing noise, and Penelope desperately tried to contain her laughter. Kate looked a combination of sad and awkward, and Penelope's heart broke for her. Kate was hurting for no reason other than the stubbornness she shared with Anthony, and that hurt was spreading to Edwina, who absolutely did not deserve it. Violet, however, interrupted Anthony's request for a dance. "Anthony, dear, I do believe there is announcement I should like to make first." He looked frustrated, but nodded. Penelope couldn't help feeling a flash of displeasure that Colin's own brother viewed Colin's engagement as an annoyance to be tolerated rather than a source of gladness.

Colin's mother, meanwhile, had signaled to the musicians to stop playing. As the gathered crowd turned toward those standing on the landing, Penelope realized that people were going to assume the announcement was about Anthony and Edwina, since they were up here, too. She saw no way to discreetly stop Lady Bridgerton, so there was nothing to be done. Violet spoke quietly, but her voice carried well in the space, "We are delighted you are here with us today. I would like to take a moment of your time to share news of great joy to my family, so that you may celebrate with us this evening." Colin squeezed Penelope's hand and stepped forward as his mother continued, "My son Colin is now betrothed to Miss Penelope Featherington. We are overjoyed that she will be joining our family, and I know their love will serve as an inspiration to all who know them."

There as a moment of silence while the guests processed what they were hearing followed by polite applause. Many people looked confused and shocked, though Penelope did not know if it was because they were surprised by the match or that Anthony was not the Bridgerton son announcing a betrothal. Perhaps Colin's first betrothal less than year previously also played a role in the reaction, as well as, frankly, Penelope's own lack of popularity. In any event, Colin kissed Penelope's knuckles and smiled at her. Quietly, he whispered, "I really am the most fortunate man to get to marry you." Penelope blushed, and he escorted her the rest of the way down the stairs and onto the dancefloor for the first dance.

Penelope had danced with Colin before. She had danced with all the Bridgerton brothers, in fact, including Gregory. She had occasionally been present for dance lessons for Daphne, Eloise, and Francesca, and the brothers had often been forced to partner with their sisters or Penelope. Colin was, of course, her favorite dance partner, and the only one to dance with her at a ball. Despite all her previous experience, she had never danced with him like this before. He held her closer than was standard and looked delighted the whole time. When she was close enough, he asked, "Will you oblige me if I add a little flourish?"

Penelope smiled, "You may do as you wish, though I am not sure what you mean." His smile widened, and then he spun her, even though the dance did not call for it. She shrieked, "Colin!" and giggled. She could not believe he'd done it, but she was elated. It was clear that he was enjoying himself, which she thought he needed, and she would be lying if she claimed that this was not the most fun she had ever had at a ball.

When the dance ended, Penelope asked Colin to fetch her some lemonade and made her way over to Eloise. Eloise smiled slightly, "You appeared to be enjoying yourself."

"It was a great deal of fun, though I have always enjoyed dancing with Colin."

Eloise nodded. "He did always say you were his favorite dance partner. Though since the other options in our drawing room were his sisters, I was never surprised by his pronouncement. You are also, I will admit, a more gifted dancer than I am, and probably Francesca as well, if we are being honest."

Penelope smiled. "I did not know he had said that."

Before Eloise could reply, Lady Bridgerton approached, escorting a young Lord. Penelope tried to get away, but Eloise gripped her arm. Penelope figured the least she could do her friend right now was to stand beside her. Violet said, "I would like to introduce you to Lord Morrison."

He bowed his head slightly and said, "Miss Eloise, a pleasure."

Before he could say anything else, Colin joined them and handed a glass of lemonade to Penelope. Lord Morrison greeted Colin. "Your mother has assured me that your sister is an intelligent and rebellious young woman. With sisters like that, I do hope you won't find your new bride to be a disappointment. I find many young ladies cannot even articulate a thought."

Eloise sputtered, "Do you not think—"

Colin raised his brows at Lord Morrison. "Excuse me?"

"Do you not find many young ladies tiresome? Present company excluded, I presume."

"I find some people to be tiresome and some to be quite clever, and their sex seems to have very little to do with it."

Eloise smiled brightly at Colin. "That is very good of you to say, Brother."

"Oh, believe me, dear sister, you might be clever, but you can make yourself quite tiresome indeed."

Lord Morrison turned back to Eloise and said, "Might I have the honor of a dance?"

Eloise shook her head. "No, my lord, you may not" and swiftly walked away.

After Eloise had left, Penelope looked across the ballroom to see her mother in quiet conversation with Prudence. Worried about what her mother might be scheming, she asked Colin if they could go speak to her mother. As they were walking toward her, Jack Featherington greeted them as he was talking to Cressida Cowper. "Mr. Bridgerton. Penelope. I am pleased your news is now public, and we may all celebrate."

Cressida turned toward Penelope with a sneer. "You must tell me, Penelope, how you managed it?" Penelope felt Colin stiffen beside her.

Penelope shrugged. "I'm sorry to disappoint, but I had no strategy. Unlike some, being myself was enough for a man to fall in love with me." Cressida gaped at her. Penelope turned to Lord Featherington. "Thank you, Cousin Jack. I am rather happy."

With a simpering expression, Cressida asked, "I am sure, Lord Featherington, that you provided a very generous dowry? I presume it would be necessary, given the circumstances."

Colin answered before Lord Featherington could come up with a response. "I do not know what he would have offered, Miss Cowper. I made clear that I did not need or want money. The only think I want is Penelope, and she is more than enough. Now, if you will excuse us, we should like to greet Penelope's mother." Without waiting for a response, he led them both away.

They were again interrupted before they got to her mother. This time by Lord Fife. "Bridgerton, I see you had some interesting news this evening. I was not aware you were courting."

Again, Colin stiffened, but he smiled and answered, "I am quite pleased Penelope has accepted my offer of marriage. I count myself very fortunate indeed."

Lord Fife raised his eyebrows as he sipped his drink. "I did not expect you to make such a choice, Bridgerton." His eyes dropped to Penelope's chest, and he continued, "Though I do see why you might count yourself as fortunate."

Colin inhaled sharply, but Penelope absolutely did not want him trying to defend her on the floor of a ball, especially to someone like Lord Fife. Pulling his arm a bit, she whispered to Colin, "Please, let us just go."

Colin nodded. "Thank you for your felicitations, Lord Fife." He led them away before saying. "I have never quite understood him. Does he hate you? Does he want you? I certainly do not like him either way. The way he talks about women is detestable."

Penelope looked up at him and shook her head. "It is not worth troubling yourself over."

They finally reached Portia and Prudence. As they got nearer, Penelope could hear them arguing. Prudence was saying, "I do not understand why I am no longer to flirt with Cousin Jack. I rather wanted to be Lady Featherington."

Penelope's mother touched her forehead, as she often did when she was stressed. "The reason does not signify, Prudence. Please trust my judgement."

Prudence pouted. "Just tell me you will not let Cressida become my new Mama."

Penelope scoffed. "Even if she became the Lady Featherington, she would not be our Mama."

Looking at Penelope, Portia smiled. "My girl, you are radiant this evening."

Penelope rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Mama. I am sure my contentment aids my countenance."

Colin smiled down at her. "You are always radiant, Pen."

As Colin complimented Penelope, he caught sight of the dance floor. Anthony was just finishing a second dance with Edwina. Edwina went smiling to over to Kate, who looked sad and uncomfortable, while Anthony went to fetch lemonade. He could see that Kate and Edwina were having an intense conversation. When Anthony joined them, there was a brief discussion, then Edwina grabbed Anthony's glass of lemonade out of his hand, and he and Kate made their way to the floor. Colin could hardly believe what he was seeing. He hadn't been at this ball two years ago, and perhaps things were different now than they had been then, but it was exceedingly apparent that Kate and Anthony wanted each other. It was almost hard to put his finger on how it was so obvious. Yes, they were dancing a bit too close, but that wasn't the extent of it. The energy between them was palpable. Glancing around to see if others were noticing, he made eye contact with Lady Danbury while she shook her head while glancing at Kate and Anthony. Colin almost laughed. Lady Danbury had a good measure of the situation, it seemed, and found it just as frustrating as he did. He then made eye contact with Daphne. She sighed and shook her head.

When the dance ended, Anthony left the ballroom quickly. Kate seemed to be having a heated discussion with Edwina, and then she followed Anthony out of the ballroom. Colin raised his eyebrows. Pulling Penelope away from her mother and sister, he asked, "Did you see my brother and Kate just now?" Penelope nodded. Glancing across the room, he again made eye contact with Daphne and gestured with his head toward the hallway.

Once he, Penelope, and Daphne were in the hallway, Daphne sighed. "I do not know why he is doing this. Or maybe it is Kate? I do not know for sure."

Colin looked between his sister and Penelope. "Should we go after them? There are things I do not wish to see, but perhaps we can talk some sense into them."

Penelope looked uncertain, but Daphne was not. "No, I agree. We cannot just stand by and do nothing. With that, she set off. Colin and Penelope followed her.

Unsurprisingly, the door to their father's library was closed. Daphne opened the door without knocking and exclaimed "oh" as she, Penelope, and Colin walked in. Colin could not tell from this angle if Anthony's lips were actually on Kate's, but if they weren't, it was only a moment until they would have been. Anthony tore himself away from Kate while placing the back of his hand on his lips.

Colin knew three things at once. One, he was absolutely infuriated with his brother. Two, Colin was going to have to do something about this. Three, he almost wished he could tell everyone present that Lady Whistledown herself had just walked in on this. The looks of horror on their faces would have provided entertainment. Sadly, Colin thought amusement would be difficult to find in the conversation they were all about to have.

Notes:

Thanks to everyone who is reading! I've been loving writing this story. I'm already working on a companion/sequel, which follows the 1814 version of Colin who wakes up in 1816.

Chapter 14: Chapter 14

Summary:

Colin, Daphne, Penelope, Anthony, and Kate all have a discussion. Kate and Penelope come to an understanding and a decision. Colin has a chat with Anthony.

Notes:

If you like your Polin with a side of Kanthony, this chapter is for you.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Colin knew that he was probably being unfair to Anthony. Colin, after all, knew what had happened the last time he'd lived through these two years. Colin had the benefit of hindsight. He knew that Anthony and Kate were deeply in love, had a wonderful marriage, and became better people through their love for each other. Anthony did not know any of that yet. Colin understood rationally that Anthony didn't know, but he was still infuriated.

Colin loved love. This was just a fact. He had always been a romantic. He remembered how much his parents loved each other. Some of his siblings, including Anthony, were disgusted by their constant displays of affection, but Colin had always found it nice. He knew his parents loved each other. He had seen as a child how a strong and loving marriage could bring joy to the entire family. While he had still been a child when his father died, Colin had experienced enough years with his father alive that he knew what a happy marriage looked like, and he had hoped to find something similar one day. And he had. At least once, though he hoped his second marriage, such as it was, would be just as happy as his original marriage.

Colin also loved weddings. He loved witnessing other people's love. He had gotten teary during Anthony's abortive wedding to Edwina the first time he had lived through 1814. Colin loved seeing Anthony sneak kisses with Kate when he thought no one would notice. Colin loved seeing the way Simon looked at Daphne, even back when they were only pretending to court. He could admit to himself that maybe his love for love and his deep desire for marriage was part of why Marina had been able to pull him in so easily, but that hadn't been enough to make him cynical. It just made him even more in awe of true love, when it was so easy to fake affection for short periods of time.

All of this combined to become his great frustration with Anthony. Colin was having terrible trouble understanding how Anthony, who really wasn't a stupid man, could stand there inches away from the perfect woman for him, and just turn away from her. How could Anthony be so close to Kate, so close to the woman who so clearly complemented him and so clearly completed him and, though Colin shuttered to think about it, so clearly excited Anthony, and not grab her with both hands? Maybe not literally, though that too, but metaphorically. Anthony's great love was staring him in the face, and he was looking away? Why?

Colin realized he was a hypocrite. He realized that Penelope had been right in front of him, and he hadn't seen her and had almost lost her because of it. He did understand that. But for all Colin's faults, once he had realized how deeply he loved Penelope and thought she might feel something back, he was fully committed. He ran down her carriage just hoping she might feel enough for him to allow him a chance with her. Colin had been slower than he should have been to fully see Penelope, but once he saw her, he never looked away again. And he just could not understand what Anthony was doing. Kate was right there, looking at Anthony like she could not fully catch her breath when he was there, and Anthony was still considering proposing to Edwina. In fact, had nearly married Edwina in Colin's first trip through 1814.

Colin also knew that Kate was playing some role in this dynamic with Anthony, and it wasn't fair to blame it all on his brother. He knew Kate had refused Anthony's first proposal of marriage, and while Colin didn't know all the details, he imagined they were both being a little unreasonable. But Colin was Anthony's little brother, so he was predisposed to being annoyed by Anthony. Also, he just wanted to be able to call Kate 'Sister' and regain his relationship with her. Colin wanted both of them to just stop doing whatever self-denying thing they were doing and allow themselves to be happy.

"Well," said Colin with forced levity in his voice, "shall we all adjourn to the drawing room for a nice chat?"

Anthony burst out, "It is not what you think."

"Ah, and there is where you are mistaken, Brother. I believe it is exactly what I think."

Colin grabbed Penelope's hand and walked to the drawing room. He assumed everyone else would follow. Colin knew that there had been a similar, or even identical, event during the ball in the 1814 he had first lived through, but only Daphne had witnessed it. Now, there were too many witnesses for this to be swept under the rug as easily. Penelope would add the real wrinkle to Anthony trying to keep it silent. It was one thing to ask a sibling or two to ignore an indiscretion. But Penelope wasn't quite family yet, and she clearly was forming a friendship with Edwina. Colin did not believe that even Anthony would have the gumption to ask her to pretend she had not seen. But it was Anthony, so it was difficult to be sure.

When they entered the drawing room, Colin poured himself a drink and raised his eyebrows at Penelope to ask if she wanted one. She hesitated and then nodded. While he did not think Penelope had much experience drinking, and maybe he shouldn't encourage it, he thought this was a conversation where a drink might be required.

As everyone filed in, Daphne also poured herself a large measure of brandy. Evidently, they were all in agreement about how difficult this conversation was going to be.

Anthony said, "It is as I said. It is not what you think."

"Oh?" said Colin, "then what was it?"

Anthony sighed angrily. "It was nothing." Kate flinched.

Colin nodded. "And what would you do, Brother, if you came up an incident like that between a gentleman and Eloise?"

"Do you know something? Has something happened between Eloise and a gentleman? I know Mother brought a lord here specifically to meet her."

Daphne snorted. "Do you listen to yourself, Brother?"

Anthony scoffed.

Penelope cleared her throat. "Lord Bridgerton, Anthony, I know you say nothing happened, but let us imagine that Lady Whistledown found out about this. What would she write? How would the gossip sound by the time it reached her, and through her, the entire ton?"

Colin coughed to stifle a laugh. He loved his wife. She was incredible. Anthony, meanwhile, looked at her like he hadn't previously noticed she was there.

Daphne was smiling at Penelope. "I shall repeat what I said earlier, Penelope. You will do just fine with Colin and in this family." She turned back to Anthony. "She is right. What would Whistledown say? Would she agree that this was nothing?"

Anthony huffed. "Well, it does not matter, does it? She will never know about it."

Colin choked on his drink. After he finished coughing, he glanced apologetically at Penelope. "You have such faith, Anthony."

Penelope turned to Kate, "You have been quiet, Kate. Do you have any thoughts?"

Kate smiled slightly at Penelope before growing serious again. "You are correct to mention Whistledown. We know the impact gossip has on how the ton acts. If it were just about my reputation, I would not care. I plan to return to India, so English gossip is of little interest to me, but my reputation influences Edwina's marital prospects. I fear Lord Bridgerton has damaged them already by inviting her here and not proposing."

Daphne nodded. "Yes. Last year when Anthony found himself incapable of dealing with Lord Berbrooke—" Anthony tried to interject, but Daphne continued, "Mother came up with the plan to find out, and then spread, the damaging gossip about him. Mother's intentional plan was to make sure Whistledown found about it because once it was published, his reputation would be ruined, and I would no longer have to wed him."

Penelope looked at Daphne with wide eyes. "I had no idea Lady Bridgerton planned that. I had heard the gossip, but I did not know it was part of a plan."

Daphne answered, "That was also part of the hope. We did not want it to look like the Bridgertons were trying to destroy his reputation."

Colin was looking curiously between Daphne and Penelope. He had, he would admit, paid little attention to the Berbrooke scandal and Lady Whistledown's part in it. "It is very fortunate Whistledown published what she did." Penelope hummed in agreement.

Daphne continued, "All that goes to say is that whatever we decide to do, it is important that we remain ahead of the gossip. As much as is possible, we want to make sure Whistledown reports the narrative we choose."

Penelope cleared her throat. "She will." Colin's eyes widened.

Daphne narrowed her eyes. "How do you know that, Penelope?"

Very quietly, Penelope said, "I know who she is. She will publish what we wish."

Anthony glared at her and said, "Please, dear God, tell me Eloise is not Whistledown."

Penelope chuckled. "She is not."

Just to needle Anthony, Colin said, "She is, however, on the queen's list of suspects."

Anthony turned toward him and asked, "How on earth could you know that?"

Colin shrugged. "I know things." Daphne and Penelope were clearly trying not to laugh, but Kate was looking at Penelope very closely. As she continued to gaze at Penelope, Penelope met her gaze and gave her the slightest nod. Neither Anthony nor Daphne seemed to notice, but Colin certainly had. What Penelope had just done was risky, and he did not think Anthony could be trusted with her secret while he was still so volatile, but he could only imagine Kate being a strong ally indeed.

Penelope turned to him and said, "Colin, take your brother and sister into the other room for a few minutes. I would like to speak with Kate."

Colin startled a little. By 1814, Penelope had mostly dropped the high-pitched girlish voice she had used before that, including the year of her debut. When he first woke up back here, he had noticed the differences in this Penelope's voice from what he had been used to in 1816. That Penelope's voice was a bit deeper in pitch, he supposed, but mostly it was a difference in tone and confidence. He had stopped noticing as much in the past few days, but this moment was the first time he truly heard his wife's voice come out of this Penelope's mouth. He smiled at her tenderly. "Of course, Pen."

Once the Bridgertons were gone, with something of a fuss from Anthony, Kate turned to Penelope expectantly. "Am I to understand that you are Lady Whistledown?" Penelope nodded. "I am surprised but perhaps not as much as I could be. You seem to be someone who pays attention. Does Colin know?"

Penelope nodded again. "And Madame Delacroix. And now you."

"I am honored by your trust."

"I hope that you will honor me with yours, as well. I can make the gossip whatever you wish, within reason, but we have all been gone from the ball for quite a bit. Edwina must wonder what has happened to you, especially if you told her you were following Anthony."

Kate nodded. "I had, and I was concerned by that as well."

"May I be frank?" Kate nodded. "I have seen the way Anthony looks at you, and I have seen the way you look at him. I spend much of my time observing people, and while you may fool Edwina, you do not fool me. And I do not think you will continue to be able to fool yourselves. You certainly do not fool Colin or Daphne. Or Lady Danbury." Kate swallowed. "I will not use my column to damage your reputation or Edwina's, if I can avoid it. I will not use it to force a marriage between you and Anthony if you do not wish me to, but you must decide what you want, and you must not allow Edwina to be hurt any more than she already has been."

Kate nodded. "I should like to speak to my sister before I do anything irrevocable."

Penelope smiled. "Would you like me to be with you for the discussion?"

"It is between us, so do not feel that you must. But Edwina might need a friend, and you provide wise council."

Nodding, Penelope stood. "Give me a few minutes, and I shall return with Edwina."

Stepping out into the hallway, Penelope saw the three siblings standing in silence. Colin was leaning back against a wall with his arms crossed and glaring at Anthony. She did not know whether to laugh or smile tenderly at the sight. Walking up to the group, she said, "Daphne, will you accompany me back to the ballroom? Kate would like to speak with Edwina." Daphne nodded, and Penelope looked at the two men. Shaking her head, she said, "You two may do as you wish, but Colin, do not allow your brother to go to Kate. It would not be helpful." Anthony scoffed, and Colin laughed as Penelope and Daphne made their way down the hall.

Several minutes later, Penelope and Edwina reentered the drawing room. Kate looked up when the entered.

Edwina rushed forward and sat near Kate. "Didi, whatever is the matter? Penelope would not tell me anything other than that you needed to speak with me."

"I do not know how to tell you this. When I went after Lord Bridgerton, we found ourselves alone in his father's library. We argued. It was heated." Penelope covered her smile with her hand. The conversation had indeed seemed heated.

Edwina looked concerned. "Did he do something? I know you do not like him, and I have not believed you, but if he said something truly cruel or—"

"Bon, it is not that." Kate looked toward Penelope, clearly at a loss for words.

Penelope said, "Daphne, Colin, and I were looking for them. When Daphne opened the door—" Edwina gave a small gasp at this. "—they were in a somewhat compromising position."

Kate immediately burst out, "Nothing happened, Bon, we were just very close."

Edwina pulled back and her eyes filled with tears. "How close?"

Kate's eyes also filled. "Closer than we should have been."

Shaking her head, Edwina said, "But you do not like him."

Kate looked down as tears spilled out of her eyes. "The problem is more that I like him rather too much. There is something—" Kate broke off before continuing, "I do not know how to describe it. The pull I feel toward him, even though I know it is wrong. He vexes me, but then—" She stopped again and did not resume speaking.

Edwina was clearly upset. "I have been trying for days, Didi, to push you together with him. To try to make you like him. To try to get the two of you to get along so that he might be comfortable proposing. Have you felt this way all along? Am I that much of a fool?"

Kate shook her head but said nothing. Penelope gripped Edwina's hand. "I know your sister did not mean to hurt you." Edwina made a noise of disbelief, but Penelope continued, "Right now, we need to decide what happens next. Kate and Anthony were seen leaving the ball right after one another, and they have now been gone for quite a while. Colin, Daphne, and I all saw them alone in a room together. If we want to contain this gossip, we must decide how we want to tell this story, and what all of you wish to happen."

Edwina nodded slowly. "We shall tell the truth. We will say that Lord Bridgerton had courted me, since he felt marrying the diamond of the season would befit his station. During our families' extended time together here, however, he developed feelings for my beautiful older sister. While her age and the circumstances of her birth gave him pause, he decided to marry her, since their feelings could not be denied." With a hard swallow and more falling tears, she concluded, "They will announce their betrothal tomorrow at breakfast before everyone departs."

Kate reached for Edwina's other hand as she said, "Bon, I did not—" Edwina pulled her hand away, and Kate stopped speaking.

Edwina stood. "I shall retire. I will be ready to smile by breakfast."

Penelope also stood and embraced Edwina. She hugged Penelope back and sobbed once into her shoulder before pulling back and departing.

Penelope sat back down near Kate and grabbed her hand. "It will be alright. Edwina loves you deeply and truly wishes for your happiness."

Kate nodded. "I know. But I do not like knowing I hurt her." Kate collected herself and wiped away her tears.

Colin waited a few minutes after Edwina left the drawing room to go back in with Anthony. Daphne had gone to tend to Augie. When they entered the room, Penelope was speaking quietly and soothingly to Kate. He could not hear what they were saying, but he took a minute to take in Penelope. She was phenomenal. The way she had taken charge of this situation made him incredibly grateful that she was his partner in all of this. He truly did not know what he would do without her help or her support. Her gentleness with Kate filled him with tenderness. Penelope was clever and capable and brave, but she was also warm and loving. She was all these things at once, and he was in awe.

Clearing his throat to alert the women to their presence, Colin said, "I thought you might be ready for us." When Penelope nodded, he went to sit down, and Anthony followed.

Penelope explained what Kate and Edwina had decided and how it would be described in Lady Whistledown upon their return to Mayfair. Colin was nervous as to Anthony's reaction. He could not imagine Anthony taking well to being managed. But when he glanced at Anthony, he was looking at Kate. Anthony was not angry. He looked tense. Speaking to Kate, he said in a low voice, "You do not feel nothing then?"

Kate shook her head. "I could not tell you before that I feel nothing because that would not be true."

Colin glanced at Penelope. She shrugged. They were clearly missing something, and Colin guessed it had to do with Kate and Anthony's discussion in the library. Anthony swallowed and looked near tears. He was looking away from Kate. Colin suddenly realized he may have made a mistake. He had been thinking that marriage to Kate would solve the problem, such as it was, of Anthony. Now, Colin worried that he'd pushed it too fast. Whatever journey had led to Anthony's marriage the first time, Colin had just altered the trajectory. He only hoped it worked out better than it had before. At the very least, Edwina would not be publicly humiliated during her own wedding. But Colin looked at Anthony with concern and couldn't shake the feeling that this might not have been as easy as Colin had hoped.

Penelope cleared her throat as she glanced at the clock. "Perhaps we should return to the ball. There is probably one or two dances left. It might be good for Kate and Anthony to dance one more time this evening." Neither Kate nor Anthony looked enthused with this plan, but they nodded. Penelope and Kate went first, and Colin and Anthony would follow a few minutes later.

When they arrived at the ball, the final dance was about to begin. It was a waltz. Colin was grateful for another chance to dance with Penelope before the night was over. He had hoped to dance with her several times, propriety be damned, but the night had gone differently than he had intended. As he pulled Penelope into his arms on the dance floor, he smiled down at her. "You are incredible, Pen. I am not sure I say that often enough."

Penelope shook her head. "I did not do anything."

Colin raised his eyebrows. "You did plenty. And letting Kate in on your secret was very brave."

"I wanted her to trust me."

Nodding, Colin said, "Perhaps she can help with Eloise, if it comes to it." Penelope nodded thoughtfully. After a few moments of silence, Colin asked, "When do you want to get married, Pen? We can wait for as long as you'd like."

Penelope blushed. "I would not mind sooner rather than later."

"Hmm, there are certainly some enticements to that option."

"I do wonder if there are, well, strategic reasons to keep me living with my mother and Cousin Jack for longer."

Colin sighed. "I have had the same thought, though I do not like it."

"How long were you engaged last time?"

"Not quite a month. The banns were read the Sunday after our engagement party, and then we waited the standard three weeks."

"What was your wedding like?"

Colin smiled. "Very large. Your mother was very glad you were marrying a man of unlimited funds, as she put it. It was the most elaborate wedding breakfast I have ever been to outside of the palace."

"Would you want that again or something smaller?"

"It is your first wedding, Pen, and I will be so bold as to say I hope it is the only one you ever have. It can be as elaborate or simple as you desire. If you are my bride, I will be pleased."

Penelope smiled. "I feel much the same. Nothing makes me happier than being with you."

Before Colin could respond, the dance was ending and with it, the ball. Leaning forward to speak quietly in Penelope's ear, Colin whispered, "May I see you again tonight?" Penelope's answering "yes" was breathless, and Colin smiled before continuing, "Perhaps, I should just come to your room. There is less chance of running into anyone there."

He pulled back to look at her. Colin was pleased to see Penelope's eyes were large and dark as she nodded her assent to his plan.

Before going to Penelope's room, Colin knew he had to wait a while to give Rae a chance to tend to her. He decided to once again seek out Anthony. Unsurprisingly, Anthony was in their father's library, sitting behind the desk and nursing a glass of brandy. Colin turned one of the chairs in front of the fire to face the desk and sat down.

Anthony glared at him. "What do you want, Brother? Do you not think you have done enough?"

Colin sighed. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. What troubles you brother?"

Anthony scoffed. "What troubles me? You and your betrothed and Daphne have trapped me into a marriage with the wrong Sharma sister."

"Are you sure about that? I saw how you were dancing with Kate, Anthony. I can recognize desire when I see it."

"Desire is not the most important factor in a marriage."

"Hmm, true. But it certainly helps." Colin paused before continuing. "If I thought all that was between you and Kate was physical attraction, I might have been tempted to encourage a different solution this evening. But I do not think that is all it is. And I do not think you do either."

"What do you know of marriage, Brother? What do you truly know of love?"

"There is a great deal you do not know about me. I know more than you think."

"I admit that you seem different, Colin, but do not forget that a year ago you were engaged to Lady Crane."

Colin nodded. "That is true, I suppose. But I do know this: I truly love Penelope, and I nearly lost her five times. Once when I nearly married her cousin. Once when I almost lost her as a friend due to a cruel remark I made. Once when she nearly got engaged to another."

"When was Penelope courting someone?"

Colin shook his head and continued without answering, "Once when she hurt me so badly I thought I could never forgive her. And once more through an accident beyond my control. She has hurt me, and I have hurt her, but I would not give any of it up. I will do everything in my power to never lose her. But if I did, the time I spent loving her and being loved by her would still be worth it."

"What does any of that have to do with me and Miss Sharma?"

"I believe you love her, Anthony. Do not be afraid of the pain of it. It is more than worth it. You are loved, and dare I say desired, by an amazing and beautiful woman to whom you are now betrothed. That is a reason to celebrate. Do not mess it up because you do not love yourself enough to accept what you have been given."

"Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?"

Colin smiled. "I am who I have always been. Older, perhaps, and maybe more mature. Maybe this will be the time you listen to me." And with that, he left Anthony and went to see Penelope.

Penelope was quiet as Rae carefully took out all her hairpins and brushed out her hair. When she went to braid it, Penelope said, "You can leave it, Rae."

Rae's eyebrows rose. "Are you sure, miss?"

Penelope nodded. "If it ends up tangled, I promise to fix it myself." Rae nodded, though she looked unsure. A few minutes later, Rae slipped out and left Penelope to her pondering.

Penelope was nervous for Colin coming here tonight. She wasn't nervous he would get caught. She trusted that he could sneak around his own house, and realistically, they were already engaged. It would not be good if he were seen, but it would not be as ruinous as it could be under other circumstances.

Penelope was uneasy because she wasn't sure what he would want. Last night had been extremely pleasurable. She had never felt like that before, and she would certainly be amenable to repeating the experience. Maybe he would want the more that had been mentioned. She was both anxious and excited for the idea. She desired Colin. She had always found him handsome and as they had grown into adults, she knew her awareness of him had changed at some point. Sometimes, looking at him or thinking of him, she felt warm, her breasts felt heavy, and wetness pooled between her legs. But last night, when he touched her, it was like she felt aware of him and aware of her own body in a way she never had before. She had felt completely out of control in the best way possible. Like all that mattered were the parts of her he was touching and the expression on his face as he looked at her. Everything else was secondary. While she thought she understood the mechanics, she had trouble believing that there could be more in terms of pleasure. How could there be more when what she had experienced was complete and total ecstasy?

She also worried that he would compare her to his wife. Obviously, the other Penelope must have started as inexperienced as she was now, but by the time he left, so to speak, they had been married for a year. Penelope was sure her counterpart knew what she was doing, was comfortable in feeling pleasure, and knew how to please Colin. Would he look at her and feel her and notice her hesitancy and be forcibly reminded that this was not the version of Penelope who he truly wanted? Would she disappoint him by not behaving exactly as his wife would have done? She had loved Colin since she was a child, and the idea of having him but always feeling like his second choice felt impossibly heartrending. The fact that his first choice was also a version of her made her feel even more strange. She might be a facsimile of his wife, but she would probably be different enough to remind him that she was not quite right.

Despite her anxiety, Penelope was also excited. She did not think young ladies were supposed to feel desire, or at least they weren't supposed to admit it. But she desired Colin. She desired pleasure. She desired that incredible sensation he had awakened in her. She desired that moment where everything stopped existing but the indescribable feeling cascading through her body. It was not proper of her, perhaps, but that did not make it any less true.

Colin walked quickly and quietly to the room where Penelope was staying. This was probably riskier than was wise, but he could not stand being another night in the same house as her and not sharing her bed, at least for a little while. After everything that happened today, he did not have it in him to think strategically about Penelope. He needed her. He needed her closeness. Her needed her softness. He needed her love. He wanted her body, certainly, but he would accept how she could consent to be with him, whether that be gentle kisses or something much more. It would all be enough, and none of it would be enough. There was no such thing as enough Penelope.

He opened her door an inch without knocking and whispered, "May I enter?" When Penelope quietly bade him to, he stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. Looking at her like this, he was again stunned by how beautiful she was just like this. In a plain cotton nightdress and with her hair loose around her shoulders, she was perfect. He had seen the other Penelope in silk nightgowns made for her wedding trousseau, and he had certainly appreciated them, but this was spectacular, too. Perhaps he even preferred it. After all, one does not gild the lily.

Penelope looked toward Colin as he entered the room. They both stood there looking at each other for a minute before Penelope started giggling, which made Colin chuckle. Still laughing, she said, "I apologize. I just have no idea what to do now."

Colin stepped toward her and put his fingertips against her mouth. Smiling, he said, "We probably should not laugh too loudly, but other than that, we can do whatever we want."

As his eyes swept over her, he swallowed. His fingertips left her lips to caress her cheek with the back of his hand. "There is no one more beautiful than you, Pen." He had called her Pen since they were children. Eloise called her that. Even Marina had. She was used to hearing it. But the huskiness of his voice when he said it now made it seem like something new and intimate.

Colin flipped his hand, so his fingertips trailed along her lips. "There is no part of you that is not perfect. Your lips." His hand trailed lower. "Your neck." And lower still while moving the neckline of her night dress out of the way. "Your shoulder." He ran his fingers just above the low cut of the neckline. "Your breasts."

Penelope whimpered when he pulled his hand away. Colin smiled softly. "You are magnificent." Penelope stood on tiptoe and tugged on his lapels to bring him close enough to kiss. She needed his mouth on hers like she needed air, and she was not going to wait any longer, no matter how slow a seduction he might have planned. He moaned against her mouth as he deepened the kiss.

Breaking the kiss, he whispered, "What do you want, Pen?"

Surprised by how breathless she sounded, Penelope answered, "I want everything."

He kissed her again, more deeply and intensely before. He was not holding back, and she shivered with anticipation of what was to come. Colin was going to make her his, in body at least, since she had been his in soul long before. He backed her toward the bed before pulling away again. He tugged up on her nightdress and then stopped and looked her in the eye. When she nodded, he pulled it off over her head. He looked at her for a moment, and she could not describe the expression as anything other than awe.

In a firm but quiet voice, Colin said, "Get in bed."

Gasping, both at the tone of his voice and at how her body reacted to it, Penelope obliged. Once she was settled, he carefully began removing his clothing. She had seen parts of him yesterday when she touched him, but this was the first time she would see him, or any man, naked. As Colin undressed, she watched with fascination. He was beautiful. Perhaps she wasn't supposed to describe a man that way, but it was the only word she could think to use.

When Colin climbed into bed, he lay on his side facing her. Penelope kissed him. It was forward of her, but she didn't care. She needed to feel her mouth against hers. When he nipped at her lips, she gasped. Colin's answering moan made her feel like she was on fire. When he moved his mouth away from hers, she whined until he started kissing and nipping at her neck and chest.

Breathlessly, Penelope said, "Tell me what to do."

Colin moaned again before saying, "You have no idea what you do to me, do you?" She shook her head. "Touch me, please. Anywhere." She desperately wanted to touch certain areas that she realized she was not even sure what to call, but she couldn't reach from this angle. Undeterred, she ghosted her fingertips over his shoulders and down his back. Colin closed his eyes briefly before kissing her again. She caressed his jaw and groaned as he licked and nipped her lips.

Pulling back, he moved his hand down between her thighs. He stopped before he touched her and asked, "Is this alright?" Penelope nodded. She had never wanted anything more. Her head fell back as he touched her, and she was dimly aware of the sounds coming out of her mouth, but almost all her focus was on what he was doing to her. Colin kissed her again right when she felt herself reach whatever precipice it was that he had brought her to twice last night.

As she came back to herself, Colin moved to lie between her thighs. "Are you ready?" Penelope nodded. "This might hurt a little, just at first and just this once."

"I trust you." Colin was panting slightly as he adjusted himself and then entered her. It didn't hurt, at least not truly. A moment of surprise at the sensation was quickly eclipsed by the pleasurable feeling of fullness. And then he started moving, and she whimpered.

Colin stopped at the sound. "Is this alright?"

Penelope didn't think she could form a sentence. "Yes. Please. I need—" she broke off not even knowing what she needed, but it seemed Colin knew. He started moving again, and Penelope knew she was gasping and moaning, and her hands were touching his hair, his face, his chest, his back with no real pattern or plan, just that she needed to touch him. She felt like she had no control over any part of her body except for her hips, which she began to move against his. As the friction increased, she knew she was approaching another peak. She looked up at Colin's face, and he was focused on her. The noises he was making led her to think that he was close to spilling. He reached his hand down between them to touch her, and one circle of his thumb was all it took. She felt her body clench around him at the same moment he started pulsing within her.

Colin was still propped on his elbows looking down at her when she came back to herself. His smile was so genuine and open. It struck her that she truly loved him. Not just because she had been infatuated with him since she was a girl or because he was her dearest friend in the most handsome of men. She loved this Colin, this mature and confident but still excitable and boyishly charming version of him. She giggled slightly, and he joined her for a moment.

Colin looked adorably sheepish and asked, "Was that alright?"

Penelope could not help but smile wider. "It was perfect." After a pause, she said, "I love you." As she said it, she realized she had never said it directly like that. She had referred to her love for him, and she was sure he had heard it from her counterpart, but she had never said the direct statement before.

Colin smiled as he kissed her gently. "And I love you."

Colin was happy. There was no other way to describe it. Laying here on his back, like this, with Penelope, was the balm his heart had needed. She stroked his chest idly as she snuggled into his side with her head on his shoulder. He tightened his arm around her briefly, and she looked up at him. "Colin?"

"Hmm?"

"What do we do now?"

Colin furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"With what we just did, should we—"

Penelope broke off, and Colin understood where she was going and nodded. "We will get married as soon as we can without a special license. I could not stand being apart from you for much longer as it is. And you could be with child, I suppose."

"What do you think will happen?"

"With what?"

"If I do, well, become with child. Do you think it will be Elliot?"

Colin swallowed. "I do not know. The timing would not be the same, if that matters." Sighing, he continued. "I thought about, I do not know, trying to influence the timing, but I cannot tolerate turning this with you into another planned effort to try to fix something. Being intimate with you is too precious to turn into strategy. I am desperate and hopeful enough that I will continue praying for Elliot to come back into my life, but I cannot do more than that. Any children we have will be a blessing, whether I get to see Elliot himself again or not."

"I did not know you were religious."

"I am not particularly. I attend church with my family on occasion, as is expected, and I mostly try to listen while I am there, but I do not seek it out. I think Elliot is the first thing I have ever truly prayed for, and it is more desperation than faith. There is nothing else I can do."

"Then I shall pray, too."

Embarrassed by the welling tears in his eyes, Colin stroked Penelope's cheek and whispered, "thank you" before leaning down to kiss her. He had meant it to stay gentle, but it was not long before their kisses deepened. As he licked and kissed down her body, he was determined to use his mouth and tongue to show her just how much her love and care meant to him. Later, when he slid into her one more time and saw her flushed face and glazed eyes looking up at him, he knew he was the most fortunate of men.

Colin woke slowly. His body was curled around Penelope's, and he experienced a moment of pure bliss to be here in bed with her. Then his mind began to catch up, and he saw the sunlight streaming through the window. He had just sat up when Rae entered. She simply raised her eyebrows at him, pursed her lips, turned around, and walked out. Colin sighed. It seemed that no matter how many times he lived through these years, he would always need to bribe Rae, and she would always have a poor impression of him.

Colin dressed quickly and quietly as to not wake Penelope and went out into the hallway. Rae was standing there looking at him. He cleared his throat. "Rae. It is nice to, ah, meet you."

She raised an eyebrow at him and simply said, "Mr. Bridgerton."

"I, um, would appreciate it if you did not divulge my lapse in judgement. I am happy to give you—"

Rae interrupted. "Do not bother, Mr. Bridgerton. I understand you will be paying my wages before long." Colin swallowed and nodded. "I believe you should get back to your room before you are seen by anyone less discreet." He nodded again and left under her watchful glare.

As he walked past the nursery on his way to his room, Daphne called out to him. Entering the room and happily taking Augie when he reached out to his uncle, Colin said, "Yes, Sister?"

"Where were you?"

"Nowhere."

Daphne sighed. "I believe I know where you were, but since you are already betrothed, there is little I can do about it. That is not why I am angry with you."

"Is there another reason?"

"I ran into Eloise last night when I went to retire." Colin cringed. "Ah, so she was telling the truth. You did tell her to ask me how a woman comes to be with child."

"It is not as if I could tell her!"

"You decided I should?"

"You know as well as I do that these things should not be kept from young ladies."

"I do know it. All too well." When Colin got a puzzled look on his face. "And no, I shall not discuss with you my reasons for saying that."

"Did you tell Eloise?"

Daphne nodded. "She is now determined to tell Penelope so she may be warned about the horrible way you will invade her body."

Horrified, Colin asked, "What on earth did you tell Eloise?"

"I tried to explain it could be rather, well, enjoyable, but I think she had stopped listening by that point. I am also guessing that Penelope need not be warned since you are still wearing last night's clothing."

Colin blushed. "Yes, well, I really must get changed." He handed Augie back to Daphne and headed toward his room.

Penelope awoke with a smile on her face. The bed was still warm where Colin must have fallen asleep, so he could not have left long ago. She was still luxuriating in her feeling of complete bliss when Rae came in. She raised an eyebrow and said, "I see your hair is tangled, miss."

Penelope blushed. "I apologize. I really can untangle it myself. I lost track of time."

Rae nodded. "I rather thought you had when I came in here a few minutes ago, and Mr. Bridgerton was still here."

Penelope sat up and blanched. "You cannot tell anyone. Please, Rae. I have some money—"

"As I told Mr. Bridgerton, do not bother. I do not know you well miss, but I can tell that you are clever and kind, and that you do not fit well with your family. Mr. Bridgerton, on the other hand, seems quite besotted. I shall not do anything to lessen your happiness. Now, let us focus on fixing whatever Mr. Bridgerton has done to your hair."

As Penelope exited her room to make her way to breakfast, Eloise was waiting for her just down the hall. She looked agitated.

Grabbing Penelope's hand and pulling them into an unoccupied room, Eloise said, "Pen, I must talk to you."

"El, whatever is the matter?"

"I talked to Daphne last night. She told me—" Eloise paused like she did not know how to continue the sentence. Lowering her voice, she said, "Daphne told me how a woman can become with child."

Penelope blushed. All she could think to say was "oh."

Eloise squeezed Penelope's hand and said, "I know things have been awkward between us, but I care for you, Pen. I am worried about what, well, my brother might do to you after you are married. The process sounds rather, um, invasive."

Penelope did not know how to react. She did not know whether to laugh, correct Eloise, or be embarrassed.

"I am sure it will be fine, El. I understand it is supposed to be rather enjoyable with the right person."

"Daphne said as much, but I am not sure I believe it."

"This is Colin. He would not hurt me."

"Promise me, Pen. Promise me you will tell me if he harms you in any way. I know he is my brother, but you are my dearest friend."

"I promise, but you are worrying for nothing."

Eloise just shook her head before leaving the room to continue to breakfast. As they walked, Eloise said, "I was thinking of writing a letter to Sir Phillip. I had some questions about some of the plants here at Aubrey Hall now that he has drawn my attention to them."

"Are you sure that is wise, El?"

Eloise shrugged. "Plants are his passion, and few seem to want to indulge him and hear about them. What harm can come in that?"

"Similar to how I loved Colin's detailed letters from Greece when no one else seemed to really read them?"

"Precisely. Because you were his friend."

Penelope nodded, but she bit her lip. Perhaps this distraction would be good for Eloise and keep her mind off Mr. Sharpe and Lady Whistledown. Or perhaps this would be a different type of chaos entirely.

Since it was the final meal before everyone departed, breakfast that morning was somewhat more formal than it had been the day before. Everyone arrived at the same time and sat in family groups. Penelope would have preferred to sit with Eloise or Colin, but she made her way to sit next to Prudence. She seemed in a particularly foul mood, probably because her chance of being Lady Featherington had been taken away, and Penelope was now betrothed. Penelope did feel some compassion for her sister. It could not be easy seeing both of one's younger sisters married first. Penelope wondered if she should try to find a way to introduce Prudence to the man who had become her husband in Colin's experience of 1815. She didn't exactly get along with Prudence, but Penelope didn't want her to be unhappy, either.

Penelope noticed more eyes were on her than was typical. Now that she was betrothed to a Bridgerton, she was more interesting. Some people looked simply curious, but others looked a bit scornful. Penelope wasn't concerned, since she knew Colin loved her, but it hurt a bit that people were so very surprised. Colin walked in carrying Augie and took the long way around the table to walk by Penelope. When he reached her, he leaned down and whispered, "Good morning, Pen" as he took her hand and kissed the back of it. Penelope blushed and returned his greeting. As he approached his family, he saw that he was to sit next to Eloise and grimaced. Penelope giggled, guessing that he had been warned by Daphne of how their conversation had gone. Penelope figured it served him right for suggesting Eloise talk to Daphne in the first place.

Colin sat next to Eloise and groaned when she turned to glare at him. "You should know I spoke to Pen this morning."

Colin had no idea what Penelope might have shared with Eloise or how the conversation went, so he did not know how to react. He settled for saying, "Oh? Did you?"

Eloise responded. "Yes. And she has promised me that she will tell me if you ever harm her. You might be my brother, but I will hurt you. Severely."

Colin nuzzled Augie to hide his amused grin. When he had collected himself, he nodded and said, "Understood."

Eloise was still glaring at him, but she did not say anything else.

At that moment, Anthony, Violet, and the Sharmas entered. Colin noticed that both his mother and Lady Mary looked awfully pale, and he wished he had been there to help break the news to them. Admittedly, he had been rather distracted in the time since Anthony and Kate had decided to wed. Edwina was putting on a good show of happiness, and Colin thought that someone who didn't know her might have been fooled. He could tell that she was still deeply saddened by what had happened with her sister. Kate, on the other hand, looked resigned.

The gathered group quieted down when they noticed the hosts and their special guests had entered. Anthony cleared his throat to speak. "On behalf of my mother and all my family, I wish to thank you for attending our house party and ball these past few days. If you would indulge me, I have an announcement to make." The room got quieter at this as people became more interested in what he was saying. "I am sure many of you have heard I had been courting Miss Edwina Sharma. She is the diamond of the season, and a lovely young woman, so of course, I thought she would be the best option for me. Over the past several days, I have gotten to spend a great deal of time of the Sharma family. And while I certainly admire Miss Edwina, I cannot deny the feelings that have developed over those days. Miss Kate Sharma is a beautiful and captivating woman. She is intelligent and loyal. She is strong-willed and knows her mind. She is everything I could want in a viscountess, and I am pleased to announce that she has consented to be my wife." The room was silent. No one moved or spoke or clapped.

After an excruciating moment, Edwina threw her arms around her sister and said in a voice much louder than necessary, "I am so happy for you, Sister!" Colin winced. Edwina never called Kate "Sister". If he hadn't known before it was an act, that would have made it obvious. Wanting to dispel the tension, Colin began to clap, which was quite awkward around Augie, and everyone else quickly joined in. Colin could only wonder how sincere Anthony had been in his speech and how much trouble lay ahead.

As soon as she got back to Mayfair, Penelope began to draft the issue of Whistledown which would discuss all that happened at Aubrey Hall, including Anthony and Kate's engagement and her own to Colin. She was more confident about what to say about the former. Something about how it appeared that love had grown between the Viscount Bridgerton and the elder Sharma sister, and the younger Sharma sister was overjoyed for her sister. The implication being that Anthony's courtship of Edwina was only ever a formality, and neither had felt any true affection for the other. Penelope knew Edwina was hurt. Penelope did not think that Edwina had been in love with the viscount, but Penelope did believe that Edwina had liked the idea of being Anthony's wife and being part of the Bridgerton family. She had been flattered by his attention, which she had believed to be sincere. When it turned out that Anthony had developed an attachment to Kate, which clearly involved a physical desire Anthony had never shown toward Edwina, Edwina was embarrassed. Especially since the other person was her own sister, who claimed to dislike the viscount and not desire marriage. Penelope could understand it. In some alternative reality, if she was being courted by someone who wasn't Colin, and then that man suddenly became engaged to Eloise, Penelope would be hurt, humiliated, and angry. Penelope could only imagine how much worse it was for Edwina in the reality Colin had lived through first.

Penelope felt out of her depth trying to report her own engagement. She wondered if she should've asked Colin what precisely her counterpart had written when they got engaged, but quickly dismissed the idea. Time travel was difficult enough to get her mind around. The circular nature of her writing something because Colin said she had written it in the future was too mindboggling to consider. She wanted to express some of the surprise that the ton felt, but frankly, Penelope didn't want to disparage herself too badly. She had in the past without pause, and she was sure she would again, but she was so incredibly happy that Colin was marrying her that writing about it like he was making a mistake was too painful to contemplate. Colin had chosen to marry Penelope Featherington. Twice. If he had thought it a mistake the first time, surely he would not have done it again. Of course, since she couldn't say that she struggled to find the correct tone of pleased surprised that she thought would work. Eventually, she settled on something she felt was acceptable.

Penelope thought about Colin before going to sleep. Last night had been incredible. She had never felt so cherished. Colin's desire for her had been quite evident, as well. He looked at her with awe, he made sure she felt comfortable, and her pleasure seemed to increase his own. Penelope had been nervous beforehand, but all her worries had been dispelled quickly. She was impatient to get married, and probably more impatient than was proper to share such intimacy with him again. Penelope fell asleep thinking about her upcoming marriage and feeling hopeful for her future. The next morning, Penelope awoke with a smile on her face.

Colin woke slowly. He had been sad to leave Aubrey Hall, since he could find time to be alone with Penelope much more easily there than here. Having come from being married to her, he found the fact that he couldn't just be with her whenever and however he wanted increasingly frustrating. At first, when their relationship hadn't been established yet, he had accepted it. But now that they were again engaged, had again been intimate, and had again declared their love for each other, he truly resented that Penelope wasn't by his side throughout the day and in his bed every night. He was weary of waking alone.

Colin went over to his desk and perused the pages he had written the night before. These papers contained everything he remembered about the Innovations Ball. He had included small details he did not think would be relevant as well as the story of Penelope and Lord Debling dancing just for this Penelope's entertainment. He wished he had paid more attention to the displays at the ball, but he had been distracted by how overwhelming his feelings for Penelope had been and his fear that they were not returned to focus on much else. He hoped this Penelope was able to find something useful in his musings. Seeing no major errors and thinking of nothing to add, Colin folded the pages and slipped them into his pocket.

Colin made his way out of his room, intending to talk to his mother and Anthony about planning is wedding. He walked into the drawing room to find both conveniently present. Colin smiled and said to his mother, "I believe Penelope would appreciate if you helped her mother plan our wedding breakfast. We plan to marry as soon as the banns can be read."

Before his mother could answer, Anthony said, "No."

Colin raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

Anthony looked at Colin like he was being daft. "Her efforts need to go toward planning my wedding. I am the viscount. It must be our family's top priority. The appearance of a grand and happy celebration is important, especially now that you have pushed me into a hasty engagement with the wrong sister. You and Penelope can marry after my wedding to Miss Sharma."

Colin had not foreseen this. Perhaps he should have, but since he did not think Anthony was impatient to wed Kate, he hadn't. He cleared his throat. Now he wished his mother weren't here, but there was nothing to be done. "Brother, it is, um, imperative that Penelope and I wed as soon as possible."

There was a beat of silence before his mother yelped, "Colin Bridgerton!" at the same time that Anthony said, "Oh, good God."

Before Colin could say anything else, Anthony continued, "You assured me not three nights ago that it would not be necessary to have a quick wedding."

Colin cringed. He was sure he had never blushed as deeply in his life. "Yes, well, that was true at the time."

Violet's voice was quiet. "That was reckless Colin. If you had been seen, it would have destroyed Penelope's reputation. Yes, you are betrothed. But her family is not far from scandal. Multiple, in fact. Between the late Lord Featherington's death and Lady Crane, they have dealt with plenty. And one of those scandals, I should not need to remind you, involved you and another young woman to whom you were betrothed. If you love Penelope as much as I think you do, you cannot risk her reputation again."

Colin was ashamed. He had not connected Marina's scandal being so recent and the Featherington's place in society being so tenuous with what would happen if his overnight stay in Penelope's room had been discovered by anyone other than Rae.

Violet smiled gently at Colin before saying to Anthony, "Forgive me, Anthony, but the timing of Colin's wedding must take prevenance. A child born eight months after a wedding might raise an eyebrow, but no one will pay it much attention. But if, Lord forfend, Penelope were to give birth less than seven months after they married, it would be damaging indeed, especially to her unmarried sister."

Anthony huffed and turned to Colin, "Can you explain to me, Brother, how you have determined both who and when I shall marry?" Without waiting for a response, he left.

Colin sat down near his mother, still mortified by both what he had been forced to admit in front of his mother and her explanation for why it had been so reckless. He did not like disappointing her, especially when she was correct. After a minute, Lady Bridgerton said, "Colin, dear, may I ask you something unrelated to what we had been discussing?" Colin nodded, grateful for the change in topic. "Is all well with you? Shortly after you came back from Greece, I noticed your love for Penelope of course, but it seemed like something else had changed. You seemed more grounded and mature, though your recklessness with Penelope's reputation gives me pause in saying the latter." She looked at him, and he looked away. "But it is more than that. There seems to be grief you carry now that you did not before."

Colin looked back toward his mother. Leave it to her and Daphne to notice that something was amiss with him. "You are not wrong, Mother, but I find I do not have the words to discuss it." This was true, despite leaving out details. How does one explain grieving for a child who has never existed as far as anyone but him was aware? How does one explain grieving for the Penelope he had known when he is deeply in love with the Penelope who he is engaged to here and now? He did not have the words.

His mother leaned forward to squeeze his forearm. "Have you been able to confide in Penelope?" Colin nodded. "Then I am sure she will be a great support to you in the coming days, but I will always be your mother should you ever need me." Colin did not trust himself to speak, so he put his hand over his mother's and squeezed.

Before either of them could say anything, Hyacinth and Gregory entered the drawing room. Beaming, Hyacinth said, "Brother, I have not been able to congratulate you on your betrothal. I cannot believe I am to get two new sisters so quickly!" Colin stood to embrace his youngest siblings and accept their felicitations.

While they were still celebrating, Penelope entered. Since she was such a frequent guest at Bridgerton House, she was never formally announced. Hyacinth ran and threw her arms around Penelope. Penelope looked a bit taken aback but accepted the embrace happily. Colin smiled, as this was one more thing that did not seem to change. Hyacinth was overjoyed to have Penelope as a sister, and by 1816, they had become very close. Colin shook his head and found himself saying something he'd said before, "Hyacinth! I do not think Penelope can breathe."

Hyacinth pulled back and said, "I have not gotten to congratulate her yet either. I could not be happier that she is to be my sister!" Gregory also expressed his excitement at having Penelope join the family. Colin glanced toward his mother, and Violet was looking at Penelope with a surprisingly intense expression. He hoped his mother wouldn't not judge Penelope for anticipating their vows. He assumed his mother in 1816 had made the connection between Elliot's birthdate and the date of Colin and Penelope's wedding, but she had never mentioned it to him, or as far as he knew, Penelope. He would admit that finding out something months later, when a wedding has already happened and a child has already been born, was very different than finding out days later.

Lady Bridgerton addressed his betrothed, "Penelope, Colin tells me you are to wed in just a few weeks." Penelope blushed, and Colin noticed his mother looked deeply uncomfortable. "Would your mother appreciate my help in planning the wedding breakfast?"

Penelope said, "I am sure she would welcome your input, Lady Bridgerton."

Violet nodded and added, "You must know, dear, that I already view you as another daughter. If you should ever need any, shall we say, motherly advice, you can feel free to come to me." Penelope nodded, though she looked uncertain. Hyacinth was glancing between them all with a calculating look on her face. Gregory looked bored.

Colin stood and walked toward Penelope. Gesturing toward the hallway, he said, "Might we have a word?"

His mother huffed. "Have we not discussed this already today, Colin?"

Colin tried not to roll his eyes, but he was not sure he succeeded, since Penelope was fighting a smile as she looked up at him. "We will be right in the hallway, Mother. I promise nothing untoward will take place. I simply wish to talk to her for a moment without interference." He glanced pointedly at Hyacinth, which really wasn't fair to his sister. He needed to be able to speak to Penelope out of earshot if they were to discuss the next step of their plan.

His mother nodded reluctantly, and Colin led Penelope out into the hallway. She looked up at him and asked, "What was that about?"

Colin sighed. "Anthony told me we had to wait to marry until after him and Kate. Forgive me, but I had to tell him and my mother that the timing for our wedding could not be delayed too long. They both made some correct assumptions about why I was insistent." Penelope blushed scarlet. "If it helps," Colin continued, "they both blame me. My mother thinks I was rather reckless with your reputation."

Penelope shook her head. "It is not solely your fault. I was a willing participant."

Colin smirked and nodded. "Quite willing, indeed, if I recall correctly." When Penelope's gaze fell to his lips and then returned to his, her eyes were wide and dark. Colin groaned and said, "Do not look at me like that when I am trying to avoid more reckless behavior."

Penelope's voice was low when she answered, "I do not believe I can help it."

Colin once again despised that he had to worry about Penelope's reputation and his mother's opinion and all the societal rules. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to lead her up to his bedroom. He wanted to press her up against the wall in this hallway. But he knew he couldn't, so clearing his throat, he said, "I wrote down everything I could remember about the Innovations Ball. Some of it is not going to be helpful, but I thought you might find it interesting." He handed her the papers he had written.

Penelope's expression went from aroused to focused and curious in a surprisingly quick moment. She always was inquisitive. Nodding, she said, "I will look into this as quickly as I can."

Before they could say anything else, Eloise came into view. She looked at how close Penelope and Colin were standing and grimaced. Penelope stepped back and said, "El—"

Eloise shook her head. "I need to get used to it, though I do not think I shall ever like it."

Penelope glanced at Colin apologetically before saying, "Eloise, can we spend some time together, just the two of us? I miss you."

Smiling widely, Eloise said, "That would be delightful" as she slipped her arm around Penelope's and led her away from him. Colin was glad that their relationship seemed to be improving, but he did not relish having Eloise more present for his early marriage than she had been in 1815. He did not like sharing Penelope, even though he knew he was being unreasonable.

Penelope found herself happily walking and chatting with Eloise as they walked toward Featherington House. Penelope was grateful that their friendship seemed to have survived her engagement to Colin, though she was still concerned about what would happen when or if her Lady Whistledown secret came out. Clearly, things were different now than they had been when Colin had first lived through 1814, but his description of her fight with Eloise filled her with dread.

They walked into Featherington House in time to overhear Penelope's mother arguing with Lord Featherington about how she had somehow ruined his courtship with Miss Cowper. Penelope had no idea what her mother had done, but she could not say she was too sad about it. When her mother caught her eye, she gave Penelope a look which she knew meant they would have to talk later. Penelope did not anticipate that conversation with delight.

Later that evening, Portia came into Penelope's bedchamber. "If my son-to-be and his sister were truly in earnest about lending us some funds, this may now be the time to request them. I have forced the end of Lord Featherington's courtship, and many vendors are awaiting payment."

Penelope nodded. She had anticipated this. "I do not mind using Colin's funds to support necessary expenses, but frugality will still be necessary for the time being." Lady Featherington nodded impatiently. Penelope reached into her desk drawer and pulled out 500 pounds that she had pulled out of her stash under the floorboards of money she had saved from writing Whistledown. "Will this suffice for now?"

Lady Featherington's eyes widened. "Mr. Bridgerton gave you this? You truly have done well if he trusts you like this."

Penelope smiled slightly. "He is a good man, Mama. I know you are wary after his engagement with Marina."

Portia touched her face and looked stressed. "I believe you, Penelope. I only wish for the best for my girls."

"I know, Mama. Colin is offering me both love and security. I could ask for nothing more than that."

Stroking Penelope's cheek, Portia said, "Neither could I."

Several days later, Penelope, her sisters, and her mother were at the modiste to start ordering Penelope's wedding trousseau. Penelope was delighted to see that Edwina and Kate were there. Edwina greeted Penelope with a hug, while Kate smiled and said, "It is good to see you, Penelope. Or shall I start calling you Sister?"

Penelope smiled. "I would be honored to be addressed as such by you, but you may call you whatever you wish."

"Well then, Sister, I hear you are getting married before I do. I thought I would be fitted for my wedding dress today, but it is too soon. Lord Bridgerton was quite incensed when he told me."

Penelope blushed, and Kate raised her eyebrows. Penelope said, "I believe Colin made a compelling argument for why we should marry first, and Anthony was quite displeased when Lady Bridgerton agreed with Colin."

Kate shrugged. "I am not opposed to vexing Lord Bridgerton."

Penelope giggled, but Edwina looked horrified. "You must not say such things, Didi!"

Kate sighed in frustration. "We have been through this, Bon. I am marrying him, but I will not stop pointing out his egregious behavior or expressing my irritation with certain aspects of his personality."

Edwina shook her head at her sister. Penelope moved closer to Edwina, and Kate tactfully stepped away to look at gloves. "How are you, Edwina? I have been thinking of you these past days."

"I am alright. I do not begrudge my sister happiness, if that is what this is, but I am embarrassed that I did not see it sooner."

Penelope shrugged. "There is no need. Colin was the one who pointed it out to me. I do not know if I would have noticed without that."

Edwina nodded. "That is kind of you to say. Regardless, now I must focus on finding a match for myself. I am revisiting some of the others that Kate rejected."

After a few more minutes speaking of potential suitors, Penelope excused herself to speak with Madame Delacroix. The modiste immediately moved close to Penelope, dropped her French accent, and said, "I have received your latest. It's been a busy week, has it not?"

Penelope smiled and nodded. "Indeed. The ton are quite ravenous for news of the upcoming nuptials. Since they include mine, I find myself quite busy."

Madame Delacroix's smile was genuine. "I was pleased to hear of your engagement. Perhaps Lady Whistledown will report that I have been entrusted with both wedding ensembles."

Penelope was concerned. "Tell me, are my musings not offering you sufficient business?"

"Indeed. But why should there be a limit to a woman's ambitions? I would think you, of all people, would understand. There is always more to be achieved." The pair exchanged a smile before Penelope headed out. She was quite hopeful for this developing friendship, and despite herself, she was glad Colin had helped ensure it happened.

Having spent a few days focusing on wedding preparation and other matters, Colin had not seen much of Penelope. He was determined to call on her today, and he hoped that she would have been able to find something helpful in his notes. As he made his way across the square, he noticed Lord Basilio speaking gently to his horse. Colin thought idly that this was probably the horse who had died during Colin's first trip through 1815. He chuckled when remembering how hard the other Penelope had laughed at his pun about galloping along. As he got closer, he could have sworn Lord Basilio was addressing the horse by name, and that the name was Peppercorn. He had a flash of pain at the idea that he would likely never see that version of Penelope again, and he would never get to tell her that the horse's name was Peppercorn, of all things. He knew she would laugh at that, but he would never see it.

When he arrived at Featherington House, he was told that Lady Featherington and all three of the sisters were at the modiste but would be expected home soon. He was invited to wait in the drawing room with Mr. Finch. Despite having been married to Penelope for a year by the time he woke up here, Colin had spent little time speaking one-on-one with Albion Finch. He seemed like a good man, and he clearly adored Philippa and Philomena, but Colin simply did not know him very well.

After sitting together in silence for several moments, Mr. Finch said, "I find Lady Featherington rather terrifying."

Colin nodded. He said from experience, "I supposed she will soften once she has grandchildren."

Mr. Finch turned beet red, and Colin stilled. A sense of dread filled him. He knew it had taken nearly a year for Philippa to become with child. Colin knew that there were many reasons why that could happen, but he'd heard enough snide comments from Portia to think that she thought the delay was Albion's fault. Colin would admit a very slight curiosity about what that could possibly mean, but almost all of him desperately wanted to remain oblivious.

Mr. Finch stammered, "Yes, she might, but, well, I do not think, that is, I have not—"

Before he could stop himself, Colin said, "Oh, good God." Mr. Finch broke off, looking mortified. Colin cleared his throat. "Mr. Finch—"

Still bright red, he said, "You may as well call me Albion."

Against his better judgement, Colin asked, "Albion, then, is there something you might need some advice on?"

Albion giggled nervously. "I do, uh, know the theory, but we have not—"

Colin held up his hand to stop him. "Is there a reason you have not?"

"I do not think she understands what would be necessary, and I have never—"

Colin did not think he had ever felt this combination of emotions before. He was amused and horrified and embarrassed for Albion all at the same time. Again, he desperately wished he could tell the 1816 version of his wife about this. He was not sure this Penelope was comfortable enough with intimacy to understand how truly funny this was. Had Albion not worked up the courage for a year the last time? How did Portia find out? His mind boggled.

Albion continued, "I know I must insert myself, but I do not—"

Colin coughed. "Albion, have you considered making sure your wife is enjoying herself before you attempt to—" he cringed "—insert yourself?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

Colin's mouth opened and closed without any words coming out. He truly couldn't have imagined ending up in this situation. But he loved his wife. And because of her, he loved her sister. And so, with more patience than he could have imagined he possessed, Colin explained to Albion what he meant.

Colin loved Penelope. At this point, he had loved Penelope for well over a year, he had proven his love for her in two different times, and he could not wait to marry her yet again. Despite all the many times he had seen her walk into the room over the past year or so, he did not think he had ever been more grateful for her than he was at this moment. He had told Albion what he could, and now the two of them sat in awkward silence looking anywhere but at each other. As soon as Penelope, her mother, and her sisters entered the room, Colin jumped up. "Pen!" His enthusiasm must have surprised her because she looked at him curiously. Before she could ask anything, he said, "I was hoping to speak with you and your mother." He gave Portia a meaningful glance, and she nodded.

Excusing herself from her other daughters and Albion, Lady Featherington said, "Mr. Bridgerton, let us go to the study."

Once she had shut the door, Portia immediately said, "I must thank you, Mr. Bridgerton for your generous loan for our expenses. With the vendors unpaid for so long, they were beginning to refuse our orders."

Having no idea what Lady Featherington was talking about, he glanced at Penelope, and she shook her head slightly. "You are quite welcome, Lady Featherington. As I said, the wellbeing of the whole family is important to me." Portia looked uncomfortable and touched her forehead as she smiled. To forestall further gratitude for something he knew nothing about, Colin said, "Now, I have a few investment opportunities that I think will prove quite profitable, but I shall need a few minutes to speak with Penelope alone before I can finalize my decision."

"Mr. Bridgerton, you must understand how inappropriate that request is."

Colin raised his eyebrows. "I believe I have made my affection for your daughter quite clear, but perhaps I have not been clear enough in my respect for her cleverness or how much I desire for my marriage with her to be a continuation of our friendship. I will not make a financial decision on behalf of my family without consulting my w—" Sighing, he broke off and then continued, "without consulting Penelope, that is. As soon as she and I have talked, we will make sure you also approve of whatever we decide. We will not be long."

Reluctantly, Lady Featherington nodded, left, and shut the door behind her.

As soon as the door was closed, Colin turned to Penelope. "I now know why it took over a year for Philippa to conceive Philomena in my first journey through 1814 and 1815."

Penelope raised her eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Albion had not ever been intimate with a woman prior to his marriage, and he was unsure how to initiate with his wife, who also did not seem to understand all the details of marital relations."

Penelope pressed her lips together to try to contain her smile. "I take it he now has some ideas."

"I have rarely been more uncomfortable, but yes." Colin rolled his eyes. "I hope your sister appreciates my efforts."

"I am sure she will be quite, um, pleased." After she said this, Penelope lost her battle and started giggling. Colin laughed along with her until she gathered herself and said, "I assume you are here about the inventors?"

Colin nodded. "Before we get to that, why does your mother think I lent your family money?"

"She needed some, so I used money from Whistledown and said it was from you."

"Pen, you need not do that. I will take care of you and your family until our investments earn money."

Penelope shrugged. "Does it matter? All my money will become yours once we are married."

Colin was startled. "Legally, I suppose. But I would never seek to control what you do with your money."

Nodding, Penelope said, "That is part of why I think it does not much matter right now. I trust you completely. If I were concerned about the freedom you would grant me, I would hide and hoard every pound I have so that you would not know of it." Colin flinched at that, since a version of Penelope had hidden the money from him. Not noticing his reaction, Penelope continued, "But if you wish to keep track, I gave her 500 pounds. I did tell her to be frugal with it. We shall have to see if she is."

Colin sighed. "I will not fight you on this, but I am going to keep track. You earned that money, Pen."

Penelope rolled her eyes at him before changing topics. "Shall we discuss what I have learned?" As she said this, Penelope reached into her reticule that she was still carrying from when she was out. She pulled out several pages of notes. Colin was impressed, though he supposed he shouldn't be surprised. Taking a deep breath, Penelope began, "I have found two potential inventors who it might make sense to work with. Unfortunately, I think they are mutually exclusive, so we need to pick one." Colin nodded, and she continued, "The one you mentioned was Sir Humphry Davy. You said he invented some type of lamp, which did not impress my mother, but he has done a lot of scientific research over the past several years. He seems to have quite a gift for chemistry and was knighted about two years ago. He is well-connected and well-respected. He has even advocated very strongly for women to have access to scientific education, which has made him the subject of gossip." With a smile, she said, "I'm sure Eloise would be pleased with him as a choice."

Colin could tell there was a problem. "You sound uncertain."

Penelope answered. "There are two problems, but I shall return to that in moment."

"Who is the other inventor?"

"The mention of a lamp got me thinking. As far as I can tell, the lamp must be a mine safety lamp. The hope is to have a lamp that provides light but will not catch fire when exposed to firedamp. Many mine owners are hoping for ways to avoid the deaths of miners, or more often, be able to reopen mines that were closed for safety due to the presence of firedamp." Colin didn't really know what she was talking about, but he was impressed that she had learned so much.

Penelope continued, "One of my printer's apprentices is from Northumberland and most of his family are miners. There is a man in that area named George Stephenson. He is a miner who has made a name for himself by improving machinery used for mining to make things more efficient. He has been working on some inventions with the goal of improving the safety of miners and make mines more productive, including different types of steam-powered machinery and a lamp that is supposed to achieve the same thing as Sir Humphry Davy's. The apprentice I spoke to seemed to think Mr. Stephenson's prototype was nearly completed. The miners themselves and the local mine owners respect him, but the Royal Society and other London-based scientists pay him little attention because he is from the North and not well-educated."

Colin was quiet for a minute as he took this all in. "Do you have a preference?

Penelope sighed. "Sir Humphry Davy is, I admit, an attractive option. When in England, he lives in London. No one would think twice of you investing in some invention of his. He is progressive in his view on educating women, which I certainly appreciate. There are two problems, as far as I can tell. One is that right now, he is in Europe on a grand tour. I do not know precisely where he is, so contacting him would be difficult. The other is that is that he is so well-known and well-regarded that I'm not sure he needs us, so to speak. Our investment might not be especially interesting to him. For all I know, the Bridgertons are already connected to him, since he is already connected with other members of nobility."

Colin nodded and Penelope continued, "On the other hand George Stephenson, frankly, is not the kind of person either of us would typically interact with. Just getting a meeting with him might be difficult, since one or both of us would need to travel all the way to Northumberland. But a large investment in what he is doing could change the trajectory of his career. We could make a real difference by choosing him. Of course, that is if he will even meet with you. Unless I am much mistaken, you are not interested in mining or engineering." Colin shook his head. "Mr. Stephenson might believe we were being condescending or feigning interest in him for our amusement or something else. But assuming he will meet with you, I cannot help but think he is our better option. He is brilliant, but the money and respect we could lend to what he is doing would be a great value to him. It could even change how he is received in London."

"Do you know anything else about him?

"He has a son around Gregory or Hyacinth's age, and his wife is deceased. He currently works for the Killingworth Colliery. That is all."

Colin looked thoughtful. "Let us prioritize Mr. Stephenson, as I agree that he is a better option. If we must travel to see him, I will have to go alone, unless we wait until after our wedding. In a carriage, the round trip would take several weeks. I can travel much faster on horseback."

"Presuming you do not fall in the mud."

Smiling, Colin said, "Yes, well, that is the hope. If I am going to go before the wedding, I must leave soon. I think two weeks is enough time to get there and back, but less than that is risky."

Penelope nodded. "I do not like the idea of being apart from you for that long, but it makes the most sense."

Colin smiled. "I also do not like the idea of leaving you, but I am impatient to get this part of our plan started. I know I will also be more loath to leave you after we are wed, and I do not wish to have a honeymoon spent entirely in a carriage."

Penelope blushed. "I imagine there are better ways to spend the first few weeks after our wedding."

Colin was saddened that this would be the first time he would get to experience a wedding night and the first few weeks after a marriage as they should be. While it had turned out alright, he wished his first wedding and the period afterwards had gone differently. He did not regret all that happened, exactly, but it gave him a pang of sorrow, nevertheless. "I would also imagine that to be the case."

"Well, if we have a plan, I shall go get my mother."

Colin grabbed Penelope's hand to stop her. "We should have a few minutes before your mother comes to check on us." Penelope's gaze went to his lips, and that was all the encouragement he needed. He used his fingertip to tilt her face up toward his, and he bent his head down to kiss her. He would never tire of kissing her. She whimpered, and he pressed her back against the door and groaned into her mouth. When he stopped kissing her, despite his own objections, he pressed his forehead against hers. "I am determined to not be too reckless, but I cannot help thinking that there was a time when this was my house, and I could have done whatever I wanted with you right here." When he fully pulled back from Penelope, she made the tiniest of whines. Colin whispered, "I know, Pen. We will be married soon." Sighing, "I'll go get your mother."

When Colin returned with Portia a few minutes later, Penelope looked more composed, but her gaze kept darting to his lips. Clearing his throat, he said to Lady Featherington, "We have settled on what we wish to do. I will need to make a trip to Northumberland in the coming days to meet with someone. He develops equipment for making mining safer and more efficient. We hope to invest in his work."

"You are confident in this, Mr. Bridgerton?"

Colin glanced at Penelope. Even with what they knew, this was still a risk. It seemed George Stephenson was going to invent the same thing as Sir Humphrey Davy sooner, and that their investment might change things, but nothing was certain. She nodded confidently, so he turned to Portia, "Absolutely. I will bring proof of funds from myself and the Duchess of Hastings. I plan to invest 20,000 pounds on your behalf." Penelope gasped. Portia sat down weakly in a chair. He would admit that was a stunningly large amount of money, and he could not do it without Daphne's assistance, but he would never be able to do something like this again.

Portia swallowed. "Mr. Bridgerton, I do not quite know what to say."

"You do not need to say anything. Penelope, and therefore you, are my family. That is all there is to it."

Colin and Penelope had decided on a promenade, but when they stepped out of Featherington House, they saw Edwina a few feet away. She smiled genuinely at them. "Penelope and Mr. Bridgerton, I am always happy to see you both."

Colin returned her smile. "Where are you heading, Miss Edwina? May we escort you?"

"Bridgerton House, as it transpires. I am to meet Kate. She needs to get her betrothal ring altered to fit, and then the three of us shall promenade together as a show of unity." Edwina rolled her eyes.

Penelope looped her arm through Edwina's. "In that case, we shall accompany you. We were planning on promenading, but we can stop at Bridgerton House first."

Edwina's smile widened. "I would enjoy that very much."

As the trio entered the drawing room in Bridgerton House, they found Anthony and the jeweler present, but Kate was not yet there. The jeweler bowed and introduced himself as Mr. Brookes. Anthony stopped his pacing only briefly to greet them. "Miss Edwina, thank you for joining us. I see you have brought along reinforcements."

Colin rolled his eyes at his brother. "We ran into Edwina outside Featherington House and agreed to take this side trip with her, since Pen and I were on our way to promenade."

A few more minutes of awkward pleasantries were exchanged while Mr. Brookes and Colin helped themselves to cake. No one else ate. After he was done with his piece, Mr. Brookes smiled at Edwina and said, "I say, Miss Edwina, do you and your sister happen to share gloves?"

Edwina smiled and tilted her head to the side. "Yes, on occasion."

Mr. Brookes exclaimed, "I knew it. I can take the measure of a hand at twenty paces. We may use your finger to size the ring."

Edwina shook her head. "No, Mr. Brookes, that would not be appropriate." Anthony looked deeply uncomfortable. Colin almost wanted to laugh. Mr. Brookes had some gall to suggest sizing a lady's engagement ring with another lady's hand. It was absurd. Glancing at Penelope, her brow was furrowed as if she shared his thoughts.

When Mr. Brookes insisted, Anthony handed over the ring to him, which surprised Colin. When Mr. Brookes slid it on to Edwina's hand, Anthony looked queasy and glanced away. It appeared to fit perfectly. Naturally, it was at that moment that Kate walked in.

Edwina, to Colin's absolute astonishment, smiled easily at Kate. "Didi, Mr. Brookes is here to alter your ring. We used my hand as a guide, since we can share gloves." Kate nodded uneasily, glancing from Anthony to Edwina and back again. She said nothing.

Edwina easily slid off the ring and handed it back to Anthony. As he walked toward Kate, Colin noticed him swallow. Taking Kate's hand, Anthony slid the ring on to her finger and exhaled as if relaxing. Kate finally spoke. "It is a beautiful piece."

Still holding Kate's hand, Anthony caressed her fingers. More gently and quietly than Colin has ever heard Anthony speak, he said, "It is the ring my father gave my mother before they were wed." As Anthony continued to stroke Kate's fingers with his thumb, Colin thought it seemed like Anthony and Kate had forgotten they were there.

Edwina said very quietly but with a hint of amusement, "I was such a fool." Despite whispering, her words were enough to break the spell, and Anthony and Kate jumped apart with startled looks on their faces. Colin might have been able to disguise his laughter as a cough if Penelope hadn't also giggled. At Anthony's ferocious glare, they recovered themselves quickly.

Still looking stern, Anthony said, "Are you ready to promenade?" He left without checking if they all were following.

Two days later, Colin set out toward Northumberland. His plan was to travel as quickly as reasonably possible by switching horses frequently and riding hard. He hated to be away from Penelope this close to their wedding. He knew that it was necessary, and he was happy to do it if it helped their plans, but every mile he traveled away from her was another mile he found himself regretting.

When Colin finally reached the Killingworth Colliery, he was exhausted. He had taken time to clean up and rest before coming to meeting George Stephenson, but even a bath and fresh clothes couldn't cover for the fact that he had pushed himself to the limit.

Colin had spent little time interacting with people like Mr. Stephenson. It wasn't that he disrespected them, but Colin just hadn't had much reason to. He also knew next to nothing about mining. Upon meeting Mr. Stephenson, however, Colin was quickly impressed. He liked the man a great deal, and it was clear he was exceedingly intelligent. Mr. Stephenson was passionate about his work and truly believed it to be his purpose. Colin could not help but admire someone so devoted to his work and pursuits.

Mr. Stephenson's designs for safety improvements, including the lamp, were extensive. Colin was most impressed by the steam-powered locomotive that had just gone into service. It was able to pull thirty tons of coal up the incline out of the mine at the astonishing rate of four miles per hour. He could not imagine something more revolutionary than that. If more of these locomotives could be built, it would revolutionize mining. Mr. Stephenson even said his eventual dream was to one day built something similar that could be used for the transportation of people. Colin could hardly imagine what that could mean for travel.

Confident in their choice of inventor, Colin made his offer to invest. He offered 50,000 pounds total, including what he was investing for the Featherington's, himself, and the Duke and Duchess of Hastings and what he wanted Mr. Stephenson to set aside to help educate his son, Robert. Mr. Stephenson could not believe the figure Colin quoted to him, since it only cost a few hundred pounds to build a locomotive. Colin stood by it, and eventually Mr. Stephenson relented. The two men drew up an extensive agreement. By the time Colin left, he was not sure if Mr. Stephenson was his friend exactly, but they had certainly come to a place of understanding and respect that boded well for their working relationship.

While Colin was away, Penelope was hoping to learn more about what Eloise was doing. She did not make it easy. Multiple times, Penelope went over to Bridgerton House, and Eloise was unavailable or didn't linger long with Penelope.

One morning, Penelope looked out her window to see Eloise leaving very early in the morning. Deciding to follow, Penelope was disappointed but not surprised to see Eloise meeting with Mr. Theo Sharpe at the printer Penelope used for Lady Whistledown. Eloise was, Penelope was stunned to note, flirting with Mr. Sharpe. Eloise looked happy to be in this conversation with this man in a way that Penelope had rarely seen before. Indeed, the only other men Eloise seemed to enjoy talking to were Sir Phillip Crane and her brothers, and for her brothers it was only on occasion. Penelope had hoped that she and Colin had changed enough that Eloise would not become involved with Mr. Sharpe or start attending the political rallies, but Penelope had known she was being too optimistic. Sighing, she headed back home to come up with a plan.

When Penelope got out of her carriage at Bridgerton House, she noticed Anthony entering the house, even though it was still early in the morning. Shaking her head and wondering what the viscount could be doing this early, she went inside her house to determine her next course of action.

It was several days before Penelope saw Eloise again, and Penelope had not come up with any useful plans for what do, especially since seeing Eloise with Mr. Theo Sharpe.

They were at an outdoor party at the palace, and Eloise linked her arm through Penelope's like nothing had changed and started ranting about society, as was her wont. "It is a fool's errand to try to make an impression on those in good society who have not a single original thought. And what good is it anyway to make a name for oneself if it is only to be written on dance cards?"

Penelope felt defensive. "What of Lady Whistledown? She speaks of everyone without remorse."

Eloise shook her head. "No. No, she does not speak at all. Perhaps she simply does not know that there are some beyond the ton worthy of attention too."

Penelope knew it would come back to this. "Are you speaking of Mr. Sharpe again, El?"

Scoffing, Eloise replied, "I have heeded your warnings. Theoretically. It'd be foolish of me to continue to visit him."

Leaning forward and grabbing Eloise's arm, Penelope asked, "And what in actuality?"

Eloise scoffed again and admitted, "I visited him the other day. But it's not nearly as scandalous as you make it out to be. It's only his thoughts I'm interested in."

Worried, Penelope asked. "It is a friendship, then?"

Eloise chucked. "Of course. What else could it be?"

Pen could hardly handle Eloise when she was like this. She was being reckless and didn't even see it. Not knowing what else to do, Penelope made her excuses and left, but she knew it was only a matter of time before this would all come to a head.

Later, Penelope sat in the drawing room of Featherington House idly staring out the window. As she saw it, the biggest problems yet to solve of those Colin had mentioned were interrelated. She needed to save her friendship with Eloise. Since their rift had come to pass because Penelope had kept Lady Whistledown a secret from Eloise, Penelope figured she would have to tell Eloise. Penelope worried about what the best way to do that was, but she also thought there might not be a best way. There was no good way to tell your best friend you've kept a huge secret from her. The fact Eloise had been searching for Lady Whistledown would just make the betrayal seem worse.

Penelope also wanted to protect Eloise from however the Queen might threaten her if the Queen again came to believe that Eloise was Lady Whistledown. Of course, Edwina and Anthony's wedding at the palace had not taken place, so Eloise would not fall under suspicion in the same way, but it was only a matter of time. Penelope knew that the other Penelope had stood up to the Queen in some way and that the other Penelope had still been writing Lady Whistledown somehow. Perhaps contacting the Queen directly was the only way to solve this problem. And maybe, just maybe, Penelope could trade what she knew about Jack Featherington for a favor.

Penelope had a feeling that Colin would not like parts of her plan. He would think it was too risky and brazen, and he would want to protect her. But Colin wasn't here, and he trusted her cleverness. Hopefully, he wouldn't be too angry when he returned.

Penelope was startled out of her thoughts when Philippa entered the drawing room and flopped down on one of the settees. Penelope looked over at her and said, "Good day, Sister. I did not expect to see you today."

"Mama summoned me. I know not why."

Penelope nodded. Unable to help herself, she asked, "How is married life treating you?"

The dreamy expression on Philippa's face answered the question as she said, "I have come to quite enjoy it." Penelope could not help her giggle. Scoffing, Philippa said, "Do not laugh. You shall learn soon enough."

Trying to keep the laughter out of her voice, Penelope said, "I am glad you are, um, pleased." Philippa gave her an odd look.

Lady Featherington entered then and glanced between Philippa and Penelope. "I am glad both of you are here. I have found a man who may be willing to wed Prudence. He arrived in London yesterday and shall be calling here shortly, and I want both you here to greet him.

Philippa rolled her eyes. "What kind of man could you have possibly found, Mother? Prudence has no dowry."

Lady Featherington glanced toward Penelope before saying, "You should trust your mother to be resourceful, Philippa."

"What is his name, Mama?" asked Penelope.

"Mr. Harry Dankworth." Penelope let out a surprised little gasp. "Do you know him, Penelope? Is there something wrong with him?"

Penelope shook her head. "No, Mama. I believe I heard Colin mention him in passing. It is nothing, I am sure."

"I did not realize he was acquainted with Mr. Bridgerton." Penelope's mother said this as if it greatly increased her estimation of Mr. Dankworth.

Penelope hedged, "I am unsure if they have met, but I know Colin has a positive impression of him." She thought this would cover for the fact that Mr. Dankworth would say he did not know Colin if asked but hopefully would help her mother view him positively. Penelope knew that this was the person Prudence had married in Colin's memory, though the timing was different. He had said he was sure the Mr. Dankworth loved Prudence, though Colin was not sure it was reciprocated. Penelope thought it might be good for Prudence to be loved, so Penelope would encourage the match however she could.

The next day, Penelope drafted a letter to the Queen. She kept it short with as few details as possible but hopefully enough to capture the Queen's interest.

Your Royal Highness,

I have heard you have been seeking my identity for quite some time. I request an audience with you so that we may come to an understanding. I believe we can come to an arrangement that will please Your Majesty. I have some gossip that might interest you, as well.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown.

As soon as she had given the letter to a servant to post, Penelope walked to Bridgerton House as if she were approaching the gallows. She needed to tell Eloise. Penelope knew it would be ugly and awful, and part of her wished Colin were here, but she knew she had to do it herself. She hoped Eloise would be able to get through her feelings enough to come to Colin and Penelope's wedding in just over a week. Penelope had made her decision. She wasn't going to back out now.

As she approached Bridgerton House, she saw Benedict coming from the other direction carrying a covered canvas. Penelope had not had the opportunity to spend much time with Benedict over the years. He was enough older than her that a friendship between then would have been unlikely until recently, since Penelope was now an adult. She liked him well enough, and she knew Colin was fond of him, and Eloise was very close to him.

Benedict smiled genuinely as he greeted her, and Penelope could not help but return the expression. He was one of those people whose whole face transformed when he truly smiled. She didn't see happiness on his face very often, but she was glad to see it now.

Penelope gestured to the canvas in his hand and asked, "Is this one of your new paintings? I had heard you began your time at the Royal Academy." Benedict nodded and glanced down as if a bit bashful. Still smiling, she said, "Once we get inside, I must see it."

Benedict looked uneasy as they entered the house. "I'm not sure it is appropriate for a young lady." Penelope raised her eyebrows. "The model is in a state of undress."

"Is the subject a man or a woman?"

Furrowing his brow, Benedict said, "A woman."

"Well," said Penelope, "being that I am a woman, I am aware of what naked women look like."

Benedict glanced down at her body, blushed, and nodded. "I suppose you would be."

By this point they were standing in the large foyer. "Well?" asked Penelope.

Benedict muttered something under his breath that included Colin's name but shrugged. He put the painting's edge down on the floor and removed the sheet covering the painting. Penelope let out an involuntary gasp. After a few moments of awe, Penelope said, "Benedict, this is beautiful."

"She is a beautiful woman, indeed."

Penelope rolled her eyes. "She is, but that is not what I meant. The way you captured her is phenomenal. The light on her skin, the look in her eye, the way her hair looks almost like it could move if a breeze hit the canvas. I did not know you possessed this level of talent. It is no wonder they wanted you at the Royal Academy."

Benedict was quiet for a few moments before swallowing and saying, "Thank you, Penelope."

"Do not thank me, Benedict. It is a statement of fact."

"No, Penelope. I do not think you realize what it means to me to hear a genuine reaction like that to my art."

"Then you are quite welcome, and I hope to see many more of your paintings in the future. Perhaps, you could even paint one to decorate my new home."

Smiling with a brotherly tenderness Penelope was not accustomed to receiving, Benedict said, "I shall be glad to call you Sister."

After a few more minutes of conversation, Penelope excused herself and went upstairs to speak to Eloise. The interaction with Benedict had fortified her in some way. It had been a pure and genuine conversation with someone who seemed to need to hear what she had to say.

Penelope found Eloise in her bedroom, which was for the best, since this conversation needed privacy. Eloise smiled and looked up from the letter she was reading when Penelope stuck her head in. "Pen, what are you doing here?"

"Do I need a reason to seek out my dearest friend?"

Eloise patted the bed next to her and said, "I suppose not."

Penelope sat and fidgeted with the embroidery on her dress. "What are you reading?"

"Sir Phillip has sent me another letter."

Penelope's eyebrows rose at the tenderness in Eloise's voice. This was certainly unexpected, but Penelope could not deal with an inappropriate correspondence between Eloise and a married man right now. It seemed the least threatening of her problems related to Eloise, which was saying something. Focusing on the topic at hand, Penelope said, "I do have a reason to visit, in truth. I need to talk to you, El."

Eloise rolled her eyes. "Is this about Colin? I am coming around to you and him marrying. It is odd, but you seem to love each other."

Shaking her head, Penelope said, "It is not that, though I am glad to hear it. I do love him." Clearing her throat, she decided to just start talking, "There is something I have been meaning to tell you for a very long time. Something I think you need to know, and I know you are going to be upset, but I want you do know that I love you, El. You have been my dearest friend, and I do not know how I would survive without you." She swallowed thickly, while Eloise looked at Penelope with more focus than she had in quite a while. Tears welled in Penelope's eyes as she worried that she was about to ruin her most important friendship. Inhaling deeply, she said, "I am Lady Whistledown."

Eloise just shook her head. "I do not understand."

"The column began because I felt powerless in my own home. I was forced to debut a year early, and I had no say in anything. Writing was the only way I felt I could have a voice. I know things have gotten out of hand at times, and there are things I should have handled differently. But it is my voice, or the closest I felt I could have to one."

Eloise stared at her. "All this time? When I was looking for her? When I was desperately looking for clues? When the Queen had asked for my help in finding her?"

Penelope nodded. "I know, El. I should have told you."

Harshly, Eloise said, "Does Colin know?"

Penelope nodded. "He found out a while ago. He was angry at first, but he has accepted it now."

"How did he find out?"

Penelope cringed. She was going to have to lie a little bit here, but it was the true story from Colin's perspective, if not her own. "He followed me when I left a ball to bring a draft to the printers. He was worried about my safety when he saw my carriage heading into that part of town."

Eloise scoffed. "That is the most believable part of this tale."

Penelope smiled weakly. "Indeed, it is." After a pause she added, "I know you are upset, but there is one more thing I must say. The Queen is trying to discover Lady Whistledown's identity. I have a plan to deal with her, but you are one of the people on her list of suspects. If you keep visiting Mr. Sharpe, you will only draw more attention to yourself. You were correct that Whistledown is printed at the shop where he works. The Queen also knows that print shop is the one I use. If you keep visiting him, you will draw suspicion on yourself."

"I see. You did not just tell me for the sake of our friendship. You want me to help you keep your secret."

"It's not that. I do not want you to get hurt. The Queen has threatened people over Whistledown before. Please, El, you can be as angry at me as you want, but do not visit him again, at least not right now."

Finally, Eloise raised her voice. "You are unbelievable, Penelope. You come in here to tell me you kept a secret from me for over a year. That you lied to me for over a year. And then you make demands. You tell me how to conduct myself as if you have any right tell me to do anything."

Yelling right back, Penelope said, "I am trying to protect you!"

"I do not need your protection, and if this is what your friendship truly is, I am not sure I need that either."

Penelope stood, tears streaming down her face. "I am sorry, El. I do love you." With that, Penelope fled the room and ran all the way back to her house.

Colin was eager to return home. This was a long time to travel by horse. Colin had traveled plenty in his past. Indeed, he had written a book on traveling, but most of his traveling had been by boat or by carriage. Most of the trips he'd done on horseback had been a day or two. He had crossed the distance between Mayfair and Northumberland as fast as he reasonably could, but he was exhausted.

Traveling by himself like this had never been something Colin particularly minded, but having only his mind to occupy him for hours at a time was growing wearisome. His grief was ever-present, especially without Penelope around him. If Elliot still existed in some other time, Colin had missed nearly a month with him. Since he had only been four months old, that was a long time. Colin also missed the other version of Penelope. He kept thinking about things he had learned or experienced in this version of 1814, and he wished he could tell her about them. Oddly, he wished he could tell her about this Penelope. He wanted to know if the other Penelope even still existed, and if she did, he wanted to know that she was ok. He wished he could have said goodbye. If he had known when he fell asleep that night that he would never see her again, he would have lain awake watching her sleep until he could no longer keep his eyes open. He would have cherished every last moment.

Colin was also impatient to see this Penelope. He missed her so much it felt like he couldn't breathe. He could not wait to marry her. He could not wait to have her all to himself. He could not wait to begin his life with her. It wasn't just that he desired her, though he certainly did. It was the person she was and the person she allowed him to be. It was her complete trust in him. It was the person who she was in this time. In every time. She was Penelope, and each and every version of her was perfect. So, he rode as fast as he could, changing horses frequently, and only sleeping the minimum amount necessary to make his way home to her.

Colin had been gone for nearly two weeks. Penelope missed him like a physical ache in her chest. That surprised her, since he had been back from Greece for only about a week before they became engaged, and then he left about a week after that. She should have been used to him being gone, but she wasn't. Now that she knew what it was like to be loved by him, it was as necessary to her as air. Colin made her feel cared for and passionate and special. He made her feel more like herself than she had ever felt before.

Since telling Eloise, she hadn't spoken to Penelope, and it made her want Colin here all the more. She wondered if she should have waited to tell Eloise until Colin was back, but Penelope didn't want to risk meeting with the Queen until Eloise knew. Penelope hoped Colin would be willing to talk to Eloise when he got back. This assumed, of course, that he wasn't too angry about Penelope writing the Queen and telling Eloise without him here. She hoped to meet with the Queen before Colin returned, so that he could not try to stop her.

Penelope sat on her bed waiting for Rae to come in and help her ready for bed. Rae knocked softly and entered. Penelope immediately noticed that Rae looked uneasy. "What is troubling you, Rae?"

"I am not sure it is my place to say anything, miss."

"Please do not be shy. If you are this agitated, I would like to hear."

Still looking uncomfortable, Rae said, "It is just that you have not bled, miss. I would not mention it, but Varley noticed today when we changed the sheets. I did not say anything about Mr. Bridgerton spending the night in your room at Aubrey Hall, but I thought you should know that Varley had noticed."

Penelope cleared her throat. "Are you implying that I could be—" Rae nodded. "Oh, well, thank you, Rae. Do you think you can put Varley off a bit? I will be wed in less than a week."

Rae said, "I would be happy to help, miss. I know there are ways to stain sheets, so they look convincing."

Penelope raised her eyebrows. "That is quite ingenious of you, Rae. I will be grateful for your assistance."

After Rae had helped her prepare for bed, Penelope lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling. There was a decent chance that she was with child. She didn't feel any different, but she supposed it was still very early, some women had no symptoms at all until they felt the child move. While she didn't relish the idea of feeling sick or tired or unwell, part of her wished there was something that indicated there was a change. She wanted to be confident of what was happening, even though she knew that certainty was a long way off.

Emotionally, Penelope didn't know how to feel. It seemed so quick. Less than a month ago, she could have never imagined Colin feeling any romantic feelings for her, and now she was engaged and likely expecting his child. She was excited for her marriage and for her life to come, but part of her was stunned it was happening at all, especially at this pace.

Penelope also wondered how Colin would feel. She knew he carried so much grief for Elliot. From the way Colin spoke of Elliot, it was clear that Colin had been a loving and involved father. He claimed that he was good at it, and she believed him. Penelope thought it had given him a sense of purpose, as if loving and caring for his child made him feel fulfilled. But that had been Elliot. Colin's firstborn child with the version of Penelope he had originally fallen in love with. Elliot was, in a very real sense, gone. And now, Colin was going to have a child with her, the version of Penelope who wasn't quite the same. She did believe that Colin loved her. But the other Penelope would always be the one he had chosen first, the one who birthed his first child, the one who he remembered with great love and fondness. Penelope worried if it were possible he could never love another child as much as he did Elliot. Maybe the grief would never allow Colin to open his heart to another child the same way. Penelope considered if there was a possibility the child she carried could be Elliot. She knew the timing was different, but Colin seemed to place hope that fate would supersede details like that. Surprised by the rush of tenderness toward a child she still was not sure existed, Penelope worried Colin would resent the child if he or she weren't Elliot. Perhaps, Colin could even come to resent her as the version of Penelope who could not give him what he truly wanted.

Penelope did not know for sure yet if she was going to have a child. She did not know what kind of mother she would be. But she knew that she would never forgive Colin if he resented this child for not being someone else than who they were. She loved Colin more than she ever thought possible, but making sure her children knew true and unconditional love was more important to her than anything else. It was not something Penelope had known as a child, but she knew without a shadow of a doubt that her children would, no matter what Colin thought or felt.

There was also a tiny niggling feeling of fear. Penelope had not allowed herself to consider the idea of this Colin disappearing. She wondered in the mind-bending way that any talk of time travel did what had happened to the version of Colin that was supposed to be here. Was there a Colin who should be here? Now that she might be with child, and there was nothing to be done about it, she had a moment of terror about what would happen if she woke up one morning to a version of Colin who did not love her. She pushed these thoughts out of her mind. It was too difficult to consider.

Penelope did not know if her child would be Elliot or not. She did not know with certainty how Colin would feel. She wasn't even confident how she felt. But she knew she loved Colin, she knew Colin loved her, and she knew that she would love whatever children they may have, even if she had to love the child for them both. Penelope fell asleep feeling hopeful, despite all the uncertainty surrounding her. She was hopeful for her future, hopeful for the children she would have, and hopeful that Colin would greet the news with joy. She dreamed again of a red-haired baby being cradled by the man she had loved since childhood. The next morning, she awoke with a smile.

Colin woke slowly. The light streamed through his curtains, which indicated that he had slept later than usual. After returning to Bridgerton House the evening before, he had immediately retired for the night. While he had been tempted to try to go and see Penelope, despite the inappropriate hour, he knew he needed the rest. He had been correct. As soon as he lay down, the exhaustion had overtaken him. He did not think he had dreamt, or if he had, he did not remember it. He was pleased with how his trip had gone. He had accomplished all he had hoped. He had a returned a couple days earlier than Penelope had anticipated, and he was hoping to surprise her this morning with his presence.

After getting dressed, Colin went downstairs to greet his family. He walked into the drawing room and found Benedict and Eloise sitting in an unusually awkward silence. Tentatively, he said, "Good morning."

Benedict glanced at Eloise and smiled at Colin. "I was just telling Eloise about seeing Penelope yesterday. I got the opportunity to show her my newest painting and hear her thoughts on it. She has quite a way with words."

At this Eloise loudly scoffed. "Indeed. She does have quite a way with words. She certainly knows how to use them to her own benefit." She then got up and left without another word.

Colin turned to Benedict, "What on earth happened while I was gone?"

Benedict shook his head. "I have no idea. When I told her of my pleasant conversation with your betrothed, Eloise said she did not wish to discuss Penelope." Colin frowned and looked in the direction Eloise had gone, even though she was long out of sight. Benedict cleared his throat and continued, "Seriously, Brother, I am very glad Penelope will be joining our family. You have chosen well."

Colin smiled but also rolled his eyes. "I am glad you approve of her. Though I am concerned about Eloise."

Benedict nodded. "I had thought she was coming around to the idea of you marrying her friend."

After a few more minutes talking to his brother, Colin left to visit Penelope.

Penelope was pacing her drawing room nervously. She did not know how long it would take the Queen to respond to her letter. She had received it by now, Penelope was sure, but that did not mean the Queen would choose to respond immediately. Until she did, Penelope did not feel like she could relax. She knew she needed to, especially if she was with child, but she could not help but be afraid. There was no taking back what she had done.

She was also brokenhearted about Eloise. Penelope knew that Eloise would need time, but she had hoped Eloise would take it a little bit better than she had. But again, it was done. Nothing would change that. Penelope wondered how much space she should give Eloise, or if she should try to see her to explain as soon as possible. Penelope also wondered if it would help to write Eloise a letter to explain some of her choices.

Penelope hoped to hear from Eloise, though she knew it was unlikely that she would. She dreaded hearing from the Queen but was also impatient to know what her reaction had been. And so, she paced relentlessly while knotting her hands. She jumped when Varley announced that they had a visitor. Penelope was even more surprised when the visitor was said to be Mr. Colin Bridgerton. She was absolutely flabbergasted when Varley led him into the otherwise empty drawing room and left them unattended.

Colin entered the drawing room at Featherington House and was surprised to find Penelope alone. She was clearly anxious about something based on her pacing and the way she was wringing her hands. Her eyes widened when Varley turned and left. Colin glanced back at the open doorway before taking the last few strides toward her and kissing her. He knew he could not kiss her for long, since he did not know how long they would be alone, but he could not stop himself from doing it. He needed her. Breaking apart, he said, "I missed you."

Penelope smiled up at him. "And I, you." Penelope glanced toward the open door, and assuming she was nervous about being caught so close together, Colin took a step back. Furrowing her brow, she said, "You are back very quickly, are you not?"

Colin nodded. "I rode as fast as I possibly could. I despised being away from you. I never want to be apart for that long again. Not for our whole lives, if I can help it."

Penelope rolled her eyes. "I am sure it will need to happen again at some point."

Shaking his head, Colin said, "No, I will not tolerate it."

Penelope laughed softly before asking, "How did it go? Were you able to speak with Mr. Stephenson?"

Colin explained how his visit with the inventor had gone. He was quite pleased with it and did not think it realistically could have gone better, and he told her as much. Then he asked, "How was everything here? Did anything happen?"

Penelope resumed her pacing and fidgeting, and Colin raised his eyebrows. She turned toward him and said, "I need you to not be angry with me."

Colin cocked his head to the side. "Tell me what you have done, and I will decide if I am to be angry with you."

Penelope nodded. "I decided to tell Eloise I am Whistledown."

"Ah. That explains why she was so upset this morning when Benedict mentioned you."

Penelope smiled when Colin mentioned Benedict. "Did you see his painting? Why did you not tell me how talented he is? By the time you left in 1816, he must be famous. I have rarely seen such a fabulous painting, Colin. Truly."

Colin grimaced. "He stopped painting. Not long after now, in fact."

Penelope's mouth dropped open. "No. That cannot be."

"He discovered that Anthony had made a generous donation to the Royal Academy to make sure that Benedict was admitted."

Penelope huffed. "I do not know which of you three I am angrier with. Anthony for making that donation, even though it was surely unnecessary and would only make Benedict question his abilities. Benedict for just giving up something that clearly brings him so much joy. Or you for not thinking that this is something that absolutely must be fixed." Colin broke eye contact with her, embarrassed that he had not thought of it as necessary. "You have seen his paintings, correct?"

Colin swallowed. "I saw one. He painted it under the influence of some tea I encountered in Greece that has interesting effects. I do not think it is indicative of his usual style."

Penelope open and closed her mouth. "This, Colin, is a mistake you can correct. Right now. We are going to go look at his painting." And then she walked out of the drawing room.

Colin quickly followed, surprised by this turn of events. He knew Penelope could be passionate about things she cared about, but he had not foreseen one of those things being his brother's artistic pursuits. He truly did not know if the version of Penelope he had left in 1816 even knew that Benedict had been a painter. She had certainly never seen his work. Colin was truly stunned that he could be, well, stunned by Penelope at this point. Every time he thought he knew her, she showed off one more way in which she was perfect. In this case, it was her warm affection for his brother, and her complete faith in Benedict's raw talent being enough for him to succeed.

They found Benedict still in the drawing room. His eyebrows rose at Penelope's determined expression. "To what do I owe the honor of your company, Penelope?"

She smiled at that before scowling at Colin. Again, he was surprised. She never scowled at him like that. "Your brother, who I am embarrassed to admit I am betrothed to—" Benedict let out a huff of laughter. "—informed me that he has never seen any of your, um, usual paintings. That is a grievous error on his part, which I will be correcting posthaste. Assuming your cooperation, of course."

Benedict's smile was wide. Colin had to admit to himself that he rarely saw Benedict smile quite so genuinely. Glancing at Colin for a moment before looking back to Penelope, Benedict said, "Sister, of course I shall acquiesce to your demands."

Penelope nodded just once and said, "Lead the way."

Chuckling, Benedict stood and led them up the stairs and down the hall to what was clearly a makeshift art studio. Colin did not recall having ever seen this room serving this purpose before. He had thought it was a room Benedict used as a study, but Colin had to admit he had been in it very few times.

On an easel was a painting of a naked woman, and Colin felt his mouth drop open. He now understood why Penelope had been so insistent. It wasn't kindness or affection for his brother. While Penelope was very clever, this was not an example of her cleverness. She had simply recognized what anyone who viewed Benedict's painting would see: he was truly talented.

"Brother, I—" Colin broke off because he had no clue what to say. He was in awe of his brother. He was mortified he hadn't known previously. He was angry at the years Benedict spent not painting after learning what Anthony had done. He was ashamed that it had taken Penelope to make him look at Benedict's art. Swallowing, he attempted to speak again. "I am truly astounded. I had no inkling of how talented you are. I do not know how you could even begin to capture an image like that." Colin shook his head, having no idea how to continue.

Benedict looked startled. "Thank you, Colin. Penelope seems to be a good influence on you. I expected some type of joke. Or perhaps anger that I showed a painting of a naked woman to your betrothed."

Colin rolled his eyes. "It is perhaps inappropriate, but it is not as if she does not know how the naked female form appears."

Benedict smiled. "That is very similar to how she convinced me." Clearing his throat, Benedict led them back out into the hallway. "Well, I have now followed your instructions, Penelope. I hope you are pleased." She nodded. "And now, because I am aiming to be your favorite brother, I will walk away and leave you two alone up here." And with that, Benedict walked in the direction of the staircase.

Colin did not hesitate. He grabbed Penelope's hand and led her down the hall. After peering around the corner cautiously, he continued and brought her into his bedchamber. "We should not stay here long, but I could not resist."

Penelope was looking around curiously. "I have wondered for many years what your bedchamber looked like."

Colin smiled. "And now you know." Before he could say anything else, Penelope stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. He happily obliged and groaned as she deepened the kiss.

After several moments, Penelope pulled away. "I need to tell you something." Colin nodded encouragingly. Penelope looked away and bit her lip, clearly nervous about what she had to say.

"What it is, Pen?"

Very quietly, Penelope said, "I have not bled."

Colin's brow furrowed for just a moment before her meaning was clear. The flood of joy was nearly overwhelming. He could hardly contain himself, and he knew his grin must be wide and ecstatic. He let out a brief laugh. "You think you might be with child?" Penelope nodded and looked at him hesitantly. Colin embraced her and picked her up and spun her around. "Pen, that is the most excellent news. A little early, perhaps, but I could not be happier." At her continued silence, Colin asked, "Are you pleased?"

Penelope glanced away. "It is quite quick. I did not know how you would feel, especially since we are not yet married."

Colin shook his head. "We shall be married soon. It is alright. Elliot was also born a bit, um, early."

Penelope's eyes widened at that, but then she got a serious look on her face. "Colin, I need to ask you something." He nodded. "Do you hope the child will be Elliot? Or maybe, my question is if you will be alright if the baby is not him? I could not bear if you resented our child."

Colin stroked her cheek lightly and then moved his finger under her chin and encouraged her to look at him. "If I said that I did not have some hope, I would be lying. But Pen, I will love any and all children you bear. They will be yours, and therefore, perfect. They will be ours, and I will love them with all my heart. I will not be disappointed in you or our child. I promise."

Penelope's eyes filled with tears. "Are you sure?" Colin nodded and leaned down to kiss her gently.

"You are my wife and the mother of my children. You will never disappoint me." Colin kissed her again, and Penelope responded eagerly. He pulled away from her mouth and kissed down her throat. Penelope was gasping and panting in a way that set him on fire. He stopped just long enough to back her toward the bed. "Sit down." Penelope complied but with a puzzled look on her face. Colin knelt in front of her and began to push her skirts up. He had to taste her and please her and show her just how much she could never disappoint him. "Is this alright?" She nodded, and seemingly having now figured out what he might be about to do, looked eager and helped hold her dress out of his way as much as she could. He did not wait for her to be completely exposed before he moved his head beneath her skirts and licked her slit with one long stroke of his tongue. She gasped, and he smiled before concentrating on the places he already knew she liked best. She was moaning more than was probably wise, but he wasn't going to stop. As he sucked gently on her nub, he knew she was close to coming apart. Slipping two of his fingers inside her, he was rewarded with her tightening around them before she shattered. He licked slowly and gently as she calmed down, and then he sat back on his heels. He licked his fingers clean while he gazed up at Penelope. She watched him intently, and her mouth was open slightly as her eyes traced his motions.

Right when Colin was considering what do to next, he heard footsteps in the hallway. Benedict coughed and said from just outside the door, "Brother, you might want to know that Mother, Hyacinth, and Eloise have just arrived home. I came up here before any of them saw me so we could all walk down together."

Trying hard not to sound too out of breath, he answered, "We'll be out in a minute." Benedict's answering chuckle let Colin know that he had some inkling as to what type of activity was happening in here. Penelope, meanwhile, was straightening her skirts and blushing scarlet.

She whispered, "Do you think he heard?"

Colin cleared his throat. "It is possible." Colin thought it was very likely. He imagined that anyone in this section of the house would have heard Penelope by the end, which he probably should have thought more about, but he saw no need to embarrass Penelope further by mentioning it. Seeing that she still looked upset, Colin said, "It will be alright. Benedict will not tell anyone, and I feel no shame about bringing my wife pleasure."

"Colin, that's just it. I am not your wife. Not yet."

Colin shrugged. "I suppose. You will be soon enough." By then, Colin figured he could stand in front of his brother without drawing too much attention to the area below his waist, so he stood and held his hand out to Penelope.

When they walked into the hallway, Benedict was clearly trying and failing to contain his smile. Colin did not think he would be trying at all if it weren't for Penelope. With a teasing note to his voice, Benedict said, "You owe me, Brother." Colin rolled his eyes, and they all began walking to the drawing room.

When they entered, Hyacinth ran toward Penelope and threw her arms around her. Penelope hugged her back with less hesitation this time, which made Colin smile. Evidently, Hyacinth would always adore having Penelope as a sister. He knew the Hyacinth he'd known in 1816 was always much more pleased to see Penelope and Elliot than she was to see Colin himself.

Violet smiled at Penelope. "I did not know you were here, Penelope."

His mother shot a disapproving look at Colin. Before Colin could react, Benedict said, "She had seen my painting the other day and thought it imperative for Colin to see it. I was simply obliging her whims, as my soon-to-be sister."

Penelope huffed. "It is not a whim. Your artwork is exquisite."

Violet looked at Benedict. "Will you not share it with your mother?"

"I would. You need but ask."

Violet smiled. "That would make me quite happy."

At that moment, Eloise walked into the room. Upon seeing Penelope, she scoffed, shook her head, and walked out again. Penelope made to follow, but Colin put his hand on his shoulder and said quietly, "Let me. I think I can relate a little better to how she is feeling right now." With a small smile at Penelope, he followed Eloise.

Colin was not looking forward to this conversation. He realized it needed to happen, and it certainly would be more agreeable than anything that had happened the last time Eloise found out about Lady Whistledown. Still, it wasn't going to be pleasant.

Colin finally found Eloise in her bedchamber. He knocked on the open door before walking in. She was sitting on the edge of her bed and huffed when she saw him and said, "Are you here to tell me I must forgive Penelope?"

Colin remained standing in front of her and shook his head. "No, not necessarily. I would prefer you did, of course, but you are allowed to be angry and hurt." Eloise looked away and swallowed. Colin was glad she appeared to be listening. "I thought, Sister, that you might want to talk to someone who has been in your position before."

Eloise scoffed. "I've seen you with her lately. I cannot imagine you were too angry."

Colin reeled back. "Is that what you think? I have never been more furious. I told Penelope I would never forgive her. Yelled it, in fact. In the middle of the street. I could not even look at her for days. So, no, I did not take it well."

Puzzled, Eloise asked, "When was this?"

"A while ago. It does not signify exactly when. My point, such as it is, is that I do not expect you to react well when I did not. Though you do have the advantage that she told you herself."

"Pen said you found out by following her when you were concerned for her safety. That part does make sense. It might be the only part of it that does."

Colin smiled. "Of course, I was concerned. I could not stand if something had happened to her."

Eloise cocked her head to the side and looked at him curiously, "I did not realize Penelope had been so important to you for so long. Maybe you should not be talking to me about people being hurt by secrets when you have kept such a large one yourself."

Sighing, Colin said, "I could not have told you about how I felt for Penelope when I did not realize it myself." Eloise, of course, was correct that some of what he was saying wouldn't fully make sense during this time. He was hoping Eloise would not think too deeply about it. It was true that Penelope had meant a lot to Colin long before he realized it, even if the details were different than Eloise might think.

"What changed?"

Colin was a bit unsure how to answer this. Eloise would know Penelope hadn't stopped speaking to him in 1814. Eloise knew Penelope had written him when he was in Greece. He decided to go with a version of the truth, but it left out how close he had come to losing Penelope as a friend, let alone as something more. "Being apart from her. Not being near her made me aware of how very much I needed her."

"How have I been so blind?"

"Do you truly want me to answer that?" Eloise furrowed her brows and nodded. Colin sighed, not sure if what he was going to say would be helpful or make Eloise more upset. "You do not tend to notice much about the people around you." Eloise scoffed and shook her head in denial. "El, your closest friend has been in love with your brother since the moment we met. She was not subtle. I missed it, too, I admit, but Lady Crane noticed immediately. You do not see Penelope because you do not look. You did not see my love for Penelope or her love for me because you did not look."

Eloise was silent. She was clearly thinking about what he had said. He hoped she would take it to heart. Finally, she said quietly, "How did you forgive her? How can you trust her?"

Colin smiled sadly. "It took a while. It was not easy. But I love her. I did not truly have a choice. But El, you love her, too. She is your friend and soon to be your sister. You have loved her since you were children. Does this truly negate all that?"

"I was searching for her, Colin. I was trying to find Lady Whistledown. First to satisfy my own curiosity and then because the Queen asked me to. I shared my ideas with Penelope. She discouraged me over and over, and yes, some of her advice was good, and she was right to be angry some of the time, but she never said anything. For months."

Colin swallowed. This seemed familiar. Different than what he had seen or experienced before, but Eloise's reaction wasn't completely foreign to him. "Are you angry, Eloise? Truly? Or are you embarrassed?"

"Yes, Colin. I am angry. I am hurt. I am embarrassed. I do not know how to reconcile the fact that my dearest friend kept this from me and lied to my face. I thought I was so clever. But it turns out that you are correct, and I never truly saw what was in front of me."

Colin squeezed her shoulder. "I did not see it either, and I was also humiliated by not noticing and by her success. Do not let your pride cost you your friendship with Pen. She loves you, and you her." Colin leaned forward and kissed Eloise on the crown of her head and left. It was clear she needed time to think. He was hopeful she would reconcile with Penelope soon.

He went back to the drawing room. When Penelope looked at him, he shrugged slightly, hoping to convey that the conversation went well enough, but Eloise wasn't yet fully ready to reconcile. Penelope smiled sadly and went back to her conversation with Hyacinth. After several minutes, Penelope said she had to be heading home. Colin was surprised to see her still looking so anxious. He hoped she wasn't worried about having a child so soon. Penelope would be an excellent mother, and his only regret was that he could not tell everyone right now.

As Colin and Penelope exited Bridgerton House so that she could return home, he saw a royal messenger entering Featherington House. Whipping his head around to Penelope, he asked, "Would you care to tell me why a messenger from the Queen is at your family's house?" When Penelope shook her head and said nothing, Colin sighed aggrievedly. "Is it related to why you thought I would be angry with you?" She gave a tiny nod. Not knowing whether to be angry, frustrated, or scared, Colin asked, "Pen, what have you done?"

Penelope knew she had begun wringing her hands again as she looked up at Colin. The look on his face was unreadable. He looked angry, to be sure, but there was something else there, too. Fear, perhaps, or even terror. Swallowing, she straightened her back, and said, "I wrote to the Queen. It seems she has responded. I should—"

Colin broke eye contact and looked away from her for a moment before returning his gaze to hers. "You wrote to the Queen. And said what, precisely?" His voice was low and angry. Penelope figured that if they were not in public in the middle of the day he would have been yelling. Proving her thoughts correct, he took her hand. He was gentle, despite his anger, but firm when he tugged her back and reentered Bridgerton House. As soon as the door closed behind them, he nodded at the servants, and they left. Standing alone in the entryway, he returned his gaze to hers and did raise his voice, "Penelope, what did you say?"

Penelope glanced around nervously, not as confident as Colin seemed to be that they weren't going to be overheard. She said, "I wrote as Lady Whistledown saying that I knew she was seeking my identity and to request an audience. I also implied I had some information that would be of interest to her."

Colin looked away and swallowed. Still yelling, he asked, "What were you thinking?"

Penelope raised her brows. "What was I thinking? I was thinking I had multiple problems to deal with, and that the Queen is central to all of them. I was thinking that you had told me the other Penelope stood up to the Queen, and everything turned out alright. I was thinking that we had to do something if we want anything to be resolved."

"Do you think my wife took what she did lightly? Do you think that she decided to reveal who she was on whim? Do you think—"

"No, I do not know why she did what she did because I have not heard all the details, I was not there, and I am not her." By the end, Penelope was yelling, too. And here was the truth, whether Colin wanted to hear it or not. She could listen to Colin's stories, piece together the parts she hadn't heard, and use that information to her benefit, but no, she could never know what his wife was thinking when she did something in a future that would now never come to pass.

Colin's eyes widened. "No, Pen, I did not mean—" Penelope shook her head, and he stopped talking.

"I should go see what the messengers want."

"I will come with you, Pen, please."

Penelope shook her head yet again. "I need to handle this myself." And with that, she exited Bridgerton House and walked briskly across the square.

Colin was furious. He was furious that Penelope had been so reckless. He was furious that she had not told him what she had done. He was furious that he still did not know quite what her plan was. He was also furious at himself for referring to the Penelope he had known in 1816 in quite the way he had. Yes, she had been his wife. Yes, frankly, he did think she might have thought her decision to contact the Queen through a little more thoroughly than this Penelope had. Yes, she had spoken to him about it first. Yes, the circumstances were so different than he thought Penelope in 1815 had made the only choice that would have worked. But he felt like he might have implied that the 1815 version of Penelope had been smarter about her plan while also implying that she was his true wife in a way this Penelope was not. Again, it was true that they were not yet married at the moment, but she was Penelope. She would always be his wife if he had anything to say about it. Without pausing any longer, he followed Penelope across the square.

He caught up with her when she reached her front door. When she glanced back at him, he said, "I'm coming with you, Pen. I need to be able to protect you." She scoffed but didn't argue. They entered the drawing room where the royal messengers were waiting. In a sense, the scene was anticlimactic. Upon seeing Penelope, they handed her a letter and left without a word. Penelope opened the letter. Impatiently, Colin asked, "What does it say?"

Penelope rolled her eyes. "She wants to see me for an audience."

"When?"

"The day after our wedding."

Colin grimaced. "I suppose that is better than during the wedding breakfast, especially since we have time to plan." Penelope looked confused. "Did I never tell you that part?" She shook her head. "Ah. The Queen interrupted my first wedding breakfast because she was convinced Lady Whistledown was a Bridgerton. She was correct by a few hours, as it transpires."

"What did Penelope do?"

Colin shrugged. "She stayed silent until the Queen left."

"And then?"

Colin swallowed. He did not like thinking of any of this. These few weeks were truly the worst of his life interspersed with moments of blinding happiness like the wedding itself or the moment of dancing with her. "We fought. I, um, wanted her to give up being Whistledown and thought she would see the Queen's interruption as a sign I was correct. She did not agree."

"Is that why you were at Bridgerton House the morning after your wedding?"

Colin nodded. "I slept on a settee outside our room the night of our wedding and went to Bridgerton House in the morning after I told Penelope where I was going."

This Penelope's eyebrows rose. "On your wedding night?" Colin nodded again. "Because you were still angry about Whistledown?"

"Yes. No. That's not quite it. We fought the night before our wedding." He shook his head at the look on Penelope's face. "No, it was necessary. I finally said much of what I had been thinking, and Penelope yelled right back with an answer for everything. It was not pleasant, well, at least at first, but it needed to happen."

"At first?"

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" Penelope nodded. "I said everything, the things she'd written in Whistledown that I was angry about, how humiliated I felt when she complimented my writing—" Penelope frowned, and it occurred to Colin briefly that she had never read anything he'd written apart from letters. "—how I did not feel like I had a use to her if she was going to take care of herself, and she just yelled that she loved me. And I kissed her. Or she kissed me. I am not sure. But when I backed her against the door—"

"Door?"

"Of the modiste's."

"Outside?"

"It was perhaps reckless, but it was very late, and we had both had some brandy." Penelope did not look disturbed by this story. She seemed to enjoy it, so Colin decided to alter how he wanted to tell this next part. He walked toward her slowly, not stopping when he reached her, which forced her to step back. He kept going until she was against the door of the drawing room. Leaning down to speak in her ear, but not touching her other than one finger under her chin to tip her face toward his. He said, "I could not keep myself off you. You were so beautiful in the moonlight and knowing you loved me, despite everything, was more intoxicating than the brandy." He heard Penelope's breathing increase in speed, and he smiled. "I was kissing you, and you were instantly moaning and panting and desperate. So, I backed you against the door. And there was a step, which made it easier to kiss you and press my body into yours, to line up the parts of me that were aching to slip inside you with the parts of you aching to be filled. The step made it easier to lift your thigh and slip my fingers beneath your dress and between your legs. We could not have been kissing for more than twenty seconds, but you were already dripping with need." Penelope looked up at him with her eyes shining and dark, and Lord help him, she whimpered, and Colin wondered if he made a mistake doing this in the drawing room when anyone could walk in. He needed her as much right now as he ever had, and seeing her react like this, hell, hearing her react like this, was going to make stepping away from her nearly impossible.

"And then?" Her voice was breathless.

Colin smiled sadly. "We heard a horse and remembered we were in public. We went our separate ways and did not see each other again until Penelope walked down the aisle to meet me at the altar."

Colin moved his finger down her cheek and caressed down her neck. As his fingers whispered along her collarbone, he heard rapidly approaching footsteps and was able to take just one step back before Jack Featherington entered the room. It must have been clear to him that something was happening between Colin and Penelope. Penelope was still pressed back against the door and her cheeks were flushed. Colin could not imagine he looked unaffected.

Jack Featherington looked between them and raised his eyebrows. "Mr. Bridgerton. Penelope. You look very, ah, cozy."

Colin flinched. He was worried the current Lord Featherington would be kind about this, and then Colin would have to feel bad about whatever plan they came up with remove him from London society. "Lord Featherington."

Penelope chirped "Cousin Jack!" in the highest pitch voice Colin had heard her use in years. It would have almost been funny, if it hadn't betrayed her anxiety so clearly.

Jack Featherington shook his head at them, went to sit on the settee, and began to read his paper. Without looking up, he said, "Do we all agree that Portia need not hear about this? I do not want to hear what she says to me when she discovers I left Penelope unchaperoned."

Colin and Penelope both muttered their agreement. Colin looked at Penelope and shrugged. "I should go. I have not spoken to Anthony since my return."

Penelope nodded. "I'll, uh, see you out."

Once out in the hallway, Colin leaned closer to Penelope. "I am very much looking forward to our wedding. But more, I am looking forward to all that is to follow, most especially the ability to be alone with you without interruption."

"I shall like that very much."

"The Queen's summons does mean I must let you out of our bed days before I had planned, but I will bear it somehow."

By then they were approaching the door and were close enough to Varley that she might hear them. Colin took Penelope's hand, kissed the back of it, wished her a good day, and headed out across the street toward Bridgerton House.

It wasn't until the next day that Colin was able to locate Anthony. Colin still found himself unsure how to deal with this version of Anthony. He was more like the cranky and mean brother Colin had known before Anthony's wedding to Kate, but he wasn't completely closed off from Kate either. Not knowing where this would head, Colin stepped unto Anthony's office and said, "Good morning, Brother."

Anthony looked up at him. "Ah, I see you have returned from your secret mission."

Colin shrugged. "It was not secret. You just never asked. I traveled to meet with someone for an investment opportunity."

Anthony looked up at him. "What all are you investing?"

"Some of my funds, some from the Featheringtons, and some from the Duke and Duchess of Hastings."

"Ah, there is a scheme afoot if Daphne is involved."

Colin rolled his eyes but didn't bother responding to the implication. "How are you, Anthony? Are you looking forward to your wedding?"

Now it was Anthony's turn to roll his eyes. "I do not understand what you think I am to look forward to. Marriage is a necessity for me, but nothing I personally am interested in."

Colin nodded. "Is that so? Because the way you look at Kate makes me think there are at least one or two things you are interested in." Anthony just looked at him. "Kate is a beautiful woman. Surely, there will be some pleasant times following your wedding. She certainly seems like—"

Anthony nearly growled at this. "You have your own wife to fantasize about. I thank you to keep mine out of your head."

Colin tried to school his face into something that wasn't a grin. "Ah. Is that how it is, then? I must not think of your wife." Anthony scoffed. Colin said, "Do not fear, Brother. My interest in Kate is purely familial. I look forward to gaining a sister such as her." Colin relented from needling Anthony shortly thereafter.

The next day, Penelope was pleasantly surprised to receive callers in the form of the Sharma sisters. Penelope did not recall ever having a friend besides Eloise call before, and she was very happy to see them. Her mother, of course, was especially excited that the soon-to-be Viscountess Bridgerton had deemed them worthy of a visit. Edwina, Kate, and Penelope sat in the drawing room of Featherington House while Portia and Prudence sat on the other side of the room. They were trying to give the appearance that they weren't eavesdropping, but it was clear to all present that they were.

Kate started the conversation by saying, "Penelope, are you excited for your wedding? It is very soon."

Edwina smiled and added, "Soon indeed! The day after tomorrow."

Penelope nodded. "I am excited, though I admit more for the marriage than the wedding itself."

"How can you say that?" asked Edwina. "You will make the loveliest bride."

"It is kind of you to say so, but I dread all the attention. I have been a wallflower for so long, I am unsure how I will feel about being the focus of everyone that day."

Kate smiled knowingly. "I do not believe you will mind being the focus of Mr. Bridgerton's attention."

Penelope blushed. "I am rather pleased he has chosen to marry me. I am very fortunate."

Loyally, Edwina said, "No more fortunate than he is for you to have chosen him."

Penelope adored how sweet Edwina was. From anyone else, she might think it was flattery or false praise, but from Edwina, Penelope believed that she meant it. She was a good person, and Penelope hoped she would find someone soon. "Have you had any luck, Edwina, on finding suitors?" She lowered her voice as if whispering but knowing Kate could hear, "especially now you are considering ones your sister rejected?"

Kate rolled her eyes, but Edwina nodded. "There are a few, but nothing certain yet."

Penelope turned to Kate. "And what about you? Are you also excited for your wedding?"

Kate swallowed and glanced toward where Lady Featherington was sitting. "I am fortunate to be marrying the viscount, especially at my age but—" and she lowered her voice, "I am not sure he truly wishes to marry me, or frankly, marry at all."

Penelope glanced toward her mother and said quietly, "I do not know all that goes on in Anthony's mind, but it is clear he has some degree of interest in your person."

"Do you mean my form, Penelope? Because I do believe your Mr. Bridgerton is similarly afflicted." The three young women dissolved into giggles, drawing attention from Prudence and Portia. Several minutes later, the sisters excused themselves. Penelope was cheered by their visit, especially given her recent estrangement from Eloise.

Colin woke slowly. He could hardly believe he was getting married the next day. Again. To Penelope. It was odd, since the person was so similar, but the circumstances were so different. He wondered if perhaps he had rushed things a bit. He was not sure this Penelope knew him as well as the Penelope he knew in 1816 had on the day of their marriage, but even then, they had learned plenty about each other in the year following. He did not think he could have moved slower. He would always be in love with Penelope, and he would always want to make her his wife. It was all moot anyway now that she was likely with child. She would be his wife and the mother of his children.

Colin's thoughts turned to Elliot, and he felt the usual rush of pain and the feeling like he couldn't quite breathe. When Penelope was around, it wasn't quite as bad, but there were moments where it was consuming. There was something almost comforting about the pain. It helped Colin to hold onto the fact that his other life had been real. Elliot had been real. Colin had held him, rocked him, kissed his little cheeks, sung him to sleep. It had been real, and it had changed Colin. This Penelope was right. As long as he loved Elliot, he would remain Elliot's father.

Colin got out of bed and dressed for the day. He wanted to show Penelope their house today. It was amusing to him that he was just getting around to it now when it had been so important to him the first time he was engaged to Penelope. Sadly, unlike last time, the house was already staffed.

Penelope was excited to get to see the house that would be her home tomorrow. She knew that the servants, including Rae, had been hard at work getting it ready for her and Colin to move in tomorrow.

Rae had been sent with them to chaperone, and Penelope could see Colin's teeth grinding. He hated chaperones. Penelope did not like them, since they kept her from doing all she wanted to with Colin, but his irritation amused her. She supposed today was the last day she could appreciate it.

When they arrived at the townhouse, Rae immediately went to head to the kitchen to talk to some of the other servants. Colin furrowed his brow. "Are you not going to stay with us, Rae?"

Rae raised her eyebrows at Colin. "Mr. Bridgerton, I fail to see what that would accomplish." She glanced toward Penelope's midsection and added, "Or prevent." Colin looked sheepish. "Remember, there are other servants around." Colin nodded. Penelope made eye contact with Rae and smiled. She was grateful to have made a friend in her maid, even if she wasn't entirely sure Rae approved of Colin.

Once Rae left, Colin said, "Rae never quite warmed to me in 1816, and this version of Rae does not have a much better opinion of me. The other Rae, such as it is, did not realize Penelope was with child until after we were married."

"I thought you said Elliot was, um, early, too."

"Penelope and Rae both assumed distress caused Penelope not to bleed and to be tired and not quite feel right. Between me not speaking to her and the Queen and the blackmail, it wasn't until after things calmed down that Rae realized Penelope hadn't bled for quite a while." Penelope felt a surge of sympathy of her other self. She understood why Colin had been so upset and all the other things going on, but the idea of having Colin propose and then stop speaking to her for weeks sounded horrifying. Her heart hurt just imagining it.

Penelope realized she had been quiet for too long when Colin asked, "Are you well, Pen?"

Shaking her head, Penelope said, "I just cannot imagine how painful that all was for the other Penelope."

Colin smiled sadly. "It was not all bad. Most of our wedding was happy. I do not think I had ever been happier up until then than I was seeing her walking down that aisle. Or dancing at our wedding breakfast."

"Dancing? At a wedding breakfast?"

Colin's smile grew brighter. "It was her idea. I suppose because I danced with her in a church after worship one Sunday."

"You are quite the rebel, Mr. Bridgerton."

Colin hummed softly. "Only for you, I think." And with that, he grabbed her hand and took her from room to room. He was showing it off and clearly hopeful that she would like it. It was quite perfect, and his excitement at having her here made her love him all the more. He seemed boyishly charming in a way this version of Colin rarely did anymore, and she was glad to see it.

Penelope awoke with a smile on her face. Today was her wedding day. Her wedding to the man she had been in love with since they were children. A man who clearly loved her beyond what she could have thought possible. The man whose child she likely carried. She could not have been happier. There were problems yet to be solved, anxieties yet to be faced, questions yet to be answered, but none of that mattered right now. Today, Penelope would marry Colin. It was all she had dreamed of for so long, and now the day was here.

Soon, Rae, her mother, and her sisters entered to help her dress. Mostly her sisters looked bored, though Prudence was talking incessantly of her upcoming wedding to Harry Dankworth. In other circumstances, Penelope might have found it annoying that Prudence could not focus on anything other than herself for even one day, but if this man would truly love her as Colin thought he would, then Penelope would not begrudge it. Being loved was something that everyone should have at least once in their lives. Penelope would not stop her sister from basking in it.

As they all began to head downstairs, Philippa held back. Penelope turned to her. "Does something trouble you, Philippa?"

Philippa cleared her throat. Penelope did not think she had ever seen her sister look more discomposed. "Did Mama talk to you at all about—" she lowered her voice to a whisper, "—marital relations?"

Penelope was both amused at this turn of events, since Philippa would be passing on knowledge she'd learned in part due to Colin's conversation with Mr. Finch, but also deeply touched. Philippa was trying to be a good sister. Penelope shook her head. "She told me nothing, but do not trouble yourself. I am not, uh, unaware."

Philippa looked relieved and then her eyes widened. "Has Mr. Bridgerton—" She broke off in a giggle. "Penelope!"

Penelope flushed but nodded slightly. "Please do not tell Mama."

Philippa shook her head, but then looked mischievous. "We shall have to cast lots for who will talk to Prudence."

Penelope smiled. "Thank you for asking, Philippa. You are a good sister."

"Of course, I am. Much better than Prudence, I dare say."

When Penelope got to the bottom of the stairs, she was surprised to see Eloise standing in the entryway. Nodding at her family to give them a moment, Penelope approached her. "El, what are you doing here?"

Eloise sighed. "I felt I needed to be here. I do not know how I am feeling at the moment regarding everything, but I do know that you are my dearest friend. Today is your wedding day. I am here to ride with you to the church and reassure you that you are the most beautiful bride. My brother is fortunate to have convinced you to marry him."

Penelope threw her arms around Eloise, and Eloise huffed. "Come now, too much attention has been put into your appearance for you to wreck it already." Penelope pulled back but grasped Eloise's hand and held it all the way to the church.

Colin stood at the front of the church impatient for Penelope to arrive. This time, there was no nervousness. There were things about the future that were uncertain, but he had no anger, no resentment, no insecurity. All he wanted to do was to marry Penelope. To love her. To be beside her each and every day. To see her each morning when he opened his eyes. To make love to her each night, and hopefully many of the mornings, and some of the afternoons. He wanted Penelope to again be his wife. He wanted to again be her husband.

Penelope entered through the back of the church, and his breath caught in his throat. He might have thought he would be more prepared. After all, he had done this before. But it was new all over again. She was in a different dress, and her hair was different, but that wasn't it. There was no pause, no need for reassurance. This Penelope knew that he wanted her to walk down the aisle. He felt a pang of loss for the other Penelope, for all the times she chose him despite what he had done and left undone. But this Penelope hadn't been through all that with him. And so, she confidently walked down toward him, trusting that he wanted her there. Her complete faith in him and his love was intoxicating.

When Penelope arrived by Colin's side, he smiled at her, and her answering smile was radiant. He loved her. There was no time and no reality in which he would not want her to his wife, and here she was smiling up at him like he was making her dreams come true. It was almost too much to take. When he said his vows and took her hand to slip his ring on her finger, he felt a sense of rightness he had never truly felt since coming back here. Yes, this was where he belonged. In any time, where he belonged was always going to be by Penelope's side. When Colin kissed Penelope at the conclusion of the service, the sense of rightness and belonging settled deep in his bones. This was it. This was his home. There was no going back.

The celebration at Featherington House was a bit smaller than Colin's first wedding, but not by much. He yet again reached the point where he did not think he had it in him to greet any more guests. It was difficult to find Penelope in the crowd. It was the only downside to her shorter stature, he supposed. The times he did catch sight of her, someone would waylay him before he could get to her. Colin realized he was not making as much of an effort as he could. He found himself strangely nervous as the celebration went on. He was excited to finally be able to be alone with Penelope as he wished, to be able to be with her without fear of getting caught, to be able to finally have a wedding night with her.

It was that final part that gave Colin pause. He had never truly had a wedding night with the other Penelope. He did not regret what happened exactly. It was the result of the circumstances they had been in. He believed he made the right choice to not try to bed her anyway, despite his anger, his fear, his frustration, and his uncertainty. When they did finally join as husband and wife, they were completely united in more than just name. But by the night of the Dankworth-Finch Ball, which served as the closest they had to a wedding night, they were desperate for each other. Not just for physical intimacy itself, though that certainly played a role the first joining or two during that night, but for the intimate emotional connection they could only find with each other. Neither of them had thought or planned how best to please the other or how the night should go. The desperation of the first joining gave way to tenderness. By the first light of the morning, they were exploring each other and the pleasure they could find together in ways they would not have imagined even a few hours before. But this wedding night was not that.

Colin was desperate for Penelope, of course. He always was. It was just a fact of his life from the first time he kissed the other Penelope until now. He wanted her, body and soul. He wanted to be intimate with her in ways that were both physical and emotional. Desire was not his problem. His problem was that he had too much time to think. He had, in effect, been given the chance to regain his lost wedding night, and he wanted it to be perfect. He wanted this Penelope to never have to experience the pain the other Penelope had felt that night. He wanted this Penelope to know for a fact that he wanted her as a wife. He wanted this Penelope to tremble with pleasure and not nerves or anger. But he didn't quite know how to accomplish all this in a way that felt natural. It was odd because intimacy with Penelope had come to feel so innately to him. It was a part of who they were together, but now, he felt like he was thinking about this too much and running the risk of getting stuck in his head. Unfortunately, he did not seem to be able to stop.

As Colin was thinking all this, Daphne and Simon approached him. Daphne looked at his face questioningly and asked, "Is everything alright, Brother?" Colin nodded absently while glancing around to see if he could spot Penelope.

Simon said, "Daphne insisted we come over to you. On our wedding day, neither of us got a chance to eat or relax. We would like to invite you and Penelope to leave this large gathering and join us for a light repast before you head to your house." Simon paused and smirked. "Unless, of course, you are too eager to get your bride home."

Daphne rolled her eyes and said, "Simon!" He smiled widely at Daphne, clearly unrepentant.

If you had asked Colin yesterday or this morning if he would delay getting Penelope to their house by even a minute, he would have said no. But now, he found himself considering it. Maybe it would help him calm down. And food was always a good plan. It would also mean he could dismiss the staff for the day when they got home without having to worry about an evening meal. He nodded. "That would be lovely. I shall go collect Penelope."

Simon chuckled. "I am surprised. Daphne thought you would agree. I had thought otherwise." Colin made a distracted hum of acknowledgement and went to find his wife.

Colin was glad he and Penelope had decided to come to spend this time with Daphne and Simon. Getting to eat and sit and relax had calmed him significantly. Penelope seemed a bit confused when he had first suggested it, but she was clearly having a good time. She had not gotten to interact with Simon much before, so Colin was glad they were getting the chance to talk.

For Colin, being around Daphne and knowing she knew about his time travel was an additional comfort. Even before she knew, Daphne had seen that something was different and that he was in pain. Being seen and known by his sister, even in the most bizarre of circumstances, brought him a sense of ease.

As they sat in the drawing room enjoying some brandy, Colin noticed Daphne looked uneasy, so he asked, "What is it, Sister?"

"Do you think the upcoming family wedding will go well?"

Colin grimaced. "I am more concerned about the marriage. They are well-suited, but they can both be stubborn. I worry Anthony will not appreciate what he has until he could lose it."

Simon laughed briefly. "Maybe it is a problem with men that we do not realize what we have until we think it might be gone."

Colin nodded. "Perhaps you are correct. Let us hope Anthony comes around more easily than we did."

Simon gave Colin a puzzled look, since he knew nothing of Colin's struggles in his first marriage to Penelope, but then shrugged and downed the rest of his drink.

Daphne asked, "Do you think I should talk to Kate?"

They all looked at her puzzled, but Penelope voiced the question, "What about?"

Clearing her throat, Daphne said, "Things related to the wedding night and the marital act and bearing children." Simon looked at Daphne with a questioning look and then gave a very meaningful glance toward Penelope, but Daphne waved her hand at him to silence any protests. Colin would have chuckled at this marital interaction, if he hadn't been so baffled by what Daphne had said. She continued, "What our mother told me was so useless that she might as well have said nothing," she paused and swallowed, "or perhaps it was worse than nothing in the end." Simon grimaced and looked away. Colin was deeply curious but knew it was none of his business.

Penelope nodded. "My mother told me nothing, though my sister did try this morning. It does not, um, signify for me—" she paused, blushing and avoiding everyone's gaze, before continuing, "but it did for my sister, who was also told nothing." She paused awkwardly before saying, "Do we trust that Anthony will—"

Colin and Simon both snorted and said "No" in unison. Colin knew his brother quite well. He certainly had been with plenty of women, and Colin had no doubt Anthony could pleasure women, but Colin did doubt that he would carefully and thoroughly explain what was happening. Colin would admit he was not perfect in this regard, but he had guided Penelope through her first intimate encounter twice, and he thought he had done well enough. Anthony was not known for his gentleness or patience, both of which might be required.

Daphne sighed. "I suppose I shall speak to her. I will have to try to forget that she will be doing the marital act with Anthony." She looked a bit green just saying it.

Penelope shrugged and said, "I can talk to her. Perhaps it will be a comfort coming from someone so recently married. Besides, Anthony is not my brother. The idea of the marital act with him is not repulsive to me."

Colin sputtered. "Penelope!" He could not believe she would say such a thing. It almost made it sound like she would not mind being intimate with him herself.

Penelope rolled her eyes at him. "I am not saying I want to be intimate with him, but he is not unpleasant to gaze upon." Colin did not like that. He did not like that at all. Some possessive part of him that he had thought he'd left in 1815 with Lord Debling flared to life. Penelope should not be looking at other men or thinking of other men, especially on their wedding night.

Simon burst out laughing and just laughed harder when he looked at Colin. "I am glad you are part of the family, Penelope. I believe you will add much to this group."

"Hmm," Colin said, finishing his drink and putting the glass down decisively on the table, "on that note, we shall be going."

When they got to the carriage, Colin pulled Penelope onto his lap. She was facing away from him, so she could not see the expression on his face, but his voice was low as he all but growled her ear, "I do not want you to even think of anyone besides me until tomorrow morning."

Penelope said, "I do not think you need to worry about that, Colin." She already sounded breathless. His hands tightened on her waist, and he began to kiss her neck. He started gently, the barest touch of lips against skin, but soon he began to lick and suck her neck and shoulder with greater force. She moaned when she felt the evidence of his own excitement pressing against her.

Quickly, too quickly perhaps, the carriage pulled up in front of their home. When they reached the front door, it was opened by Rae. She glanced at Colin but spoke to Penelope, "I have given the rest of the staff the night off, ma'am. I will be in my quarters if you need me, but unless you say otherwise, I will not disturb you until morning."

Penelope blushed and nodded. "Thank you, Rae. I will see you tomorrow." Colin grabbed her hand and tugged her toward the stairs. Penelope joyfully followed his lead.

For those few minutes in the carriage, Colin's nervousness had vanished. His possessiveness and need for Penelope had overridden any anxiety, but entering their bedchamber, it came rushing back. He wanted this to be perfect. He wanted to press her against the wall and lift her up and passionately remind her that he, Colin, was her husband. He wanted to be gentle and worship her body with his tongue in the soft bed. He wanted her beneath him screaming with desire, and he wanted her sighing with contentment as he gently coaxed her to release again and again with his fingers. He wanted her on top of him with her head thrown back, while she was lost in sensation. He wanted so much, and he didn't know where to start. He again felt like he didn't know how to do this, and that uncertainty flummoxed him.

Penelope turned her back to him and looked at him over her shoulder. "Undress me." Colin nodded and complied. He was surprised to note that his hands were shaking. When she turned back to him, naked and unashamed, he looked at her in awe. He truly was a goddess. When a few moments had passed where neither of them moved or spoke, Penelope stepped forward and began to unbutton his jacket.

Before Colin had decided how he wanted to proceed, Penelope had completed disrobing him. His hands trembled again as he took her face in them and kissed her reverently. She was perfect. She was his. She was Penelope. Pulling back, he said, "I do not know how to do this."

Penelope looked questioningly at him, "How to do what?"

"Tonight. I am unsure—" Colin never got to finish his sentence because Penelope had tugged him back down to her and kissed him deeply.

"You might be overthinking it, Mr. Bridgerton. In which case, it might be better if you stop thinking at all."

Colin smiled wryly. "I am unsure how to do that."

Penelope nodded and then smirked slightly as she said, "Get in the bed."

Colin raised his eyebrows but complied. He was not fool enough to resist her. When she climbed in the bed, she knelt beside him and kissed his mouth and then down his throat and chest. "I was thinking," she said, "that you have made me incapable of thought by using your mouth on me. It would only be fair if I did the same to you."

Colin gasped, "No, Penelope, you do not have to do that."

"I want to." She moved so she was kneeling between his legs. Experimentally, she licked the length of him, and he could not have refused more of this type of attention. When she took him into her mouth, he was distantly aware of the noises he was making, whines and whimpers and gasps. Maybe he should have considered that they weren't as manly as he might have hoped, but he couldn't care about anything other than her mouth wrapped around him and the swirling of her tongue.

"Penelope, you can stop, I am about to—" She hummed a sound that clearly meant "no" against him, and he could not stop himself from spilling in her mouth. When she settled down beside him, he kissed her deeply and then pulled away to look at her. He stammered something incoherent before shaking his head.

"I see my plan to make you stop thinking is working."

Colin nodded and said, "You did not need to do that, but I am very grateful you did." She smiled and nestled into his side.

After fewer than ten minutes, the gentle kisses he had been giving her morphed into something deeper. Colin nudged Penelope on her back as he leaned up to continue kissing her as his fingers slipped between her legs. He hummed and said, "I can tell, Mrs. Bridgerton, that you quite enjoyed making me incoherent with desire."

Penelope hissed out a "yes" as his fingers slipped inside of her.

"Let us see if I can return the favor." When she was gasping and writhing beneath his hand, he withdrew it. She whined, and Colin smiled. "I think you are more than ready." She nodded. He positioned himself over her and slid inside, no longer able to tell whose moans were whose. He cradled her head and looked down at Penelope, his beautiful wife, the woman who he would always love in any time or reality. When they eventually reached their release, Colin continued to stare at her in awe. There was no greater love than this.

Penelope awoke with a smile on her face. She was tired, since they had not gotten very much sleep during the night, but she could not recall ever having been happier. She was in an indescribably comfortable bed with Colin Bridgerton. She was married to Colin Bridgerton, and it was all she had wanted since she was a girl. All her dreams and fantasies paled to reality. He was real, and he was here, and he loved her. She watched him sleep, reveling in the intimacy of this moment. Even knowing that they would soon need to rise to go and meet the Queen, Penelope could not help feeling that this was the happiest she had ever been. She held on to the hope that today would go well. It must. If it went as she hoped, she would have secured a life more wonderful than she could have imagined even a few months ago. Buoyed by her newfound confidence, she gently stroked Colin's hair to rouse him from sleep.

Colin woke slowly. The feeling of Penelope's fingers running through his hair was comforting in a way he would have trouble describing. He felt loved and cherished and so incredibly glad to be here with her. Again. Still. He opened his eyes, and Penelope was propped on her elbow looking down at him, smiling softly. "Good morning," she said.

Colin lifted his upper body enough to kiss her gently before saying, "Good morning, Mrs. Bridgerton." Her smile widened. He loved seeing her like this. She was content in a way he had rarely seen her be when she was younger. He loved that his love and faith in her was able to help her find the contentment that had always eluded her before.

"We need to get up soon, so that we can meet the Queen. There is also a stop I would like to make on the way to the palace."

Colin nodded. "Surely we have a few more minutes."

Penelope chucked, low and throaty. "Why do you think I did not wait longer to wake you?" Taking her lips with his, Colin was awash with happiness. When she soon climbed on top of him and sank down onto him, he was certain he was the most fortunate of men.

Penelope instructed the carriage driver to stop at the modiste's on the way to the palace. She wished to talk to Madame Delacroix before she spoke to the Queen. When the carriage arrived, Penelope told Colin he could stay in the carriage. He looked at her questioningly but nodded.

When Madame Delacroix saw Penelope enter, Genevieve nodded toward the back where she did private fittings, and Penelope followed her. Genevieve said, "I am surprised to see you here so soon after your wedding, Mrs. Bridgerton."

Blushing, Penelope said, "I know, but there is something important I wanted to tell you." Madame Delacroix raised her eyebrows. "I am on my way to the palace to meet with the Queen. I plan to confess to being Lady Whistledown. I hope to appear to be cooperative and open to a partnership with her, and I have some information that I hope will make her willing to grant me a favor."

"I do not know if that is brave or reckless, Penelope."

"I am unsure myself. But I wanted you to know that I will never tell her of the help you have given me. Our association will remain between us, no matter how the Queen responds."

"That is very kind of you."

"Now, I would like to place an order for a few blue dresses while I am here. I have always loved the color, and now my Mama cannot stop me from ordering it. And if anyone saw me stop here on my way to the palace, you can say that I am a young and excited bride, desiring dresses that will please her husband."

Genevieve smiled widely. "If that is the case, I will be sure to design them to show off your, shall we say, assets?" The two women giggled, and Madame Delacroix got to work.

When Colin and Penelope arrived at the palace, they were escorted through the labyrinthian corridors until they were led into a sitting room. The Queen was sitting on a settee gazing down at a dog on her lap. Looking up, she said, "The husband can stay in the hallway. I am only interested in the writer herself."

Penelope was worried Colin would argue, so she turned to him and said, "Go, Colin. Please." He nodded, clearly reluctant, but did not argue and left. Penelope curtsied as deeply as she could and said, "Your Majesty, thank you for doing me the honor of speaking with me."

Queen Charlotte gestured to the chair across from her and said, "Sit." Penelope gingerly sat and accepted a cup of tea from one of the hovering servants. "Am I to understand that you are Lady Whistledown? You are hardly more than a child."

Swallowing, Penelope said, "Yes, Your Majesty. I started the column when I first made my debut."

"Why would you do such a thing? Did you think your voice was more important than your Queen's?"

Penelope blanched. "No, of course not! I rather felt like my voice did not matter at all." When the Queen simply raised an eyebrow, Penelope explained everything: how she was forced to debut early, how she felt powerless in her own home, how she was scared and unsure at social gatherings, but also how confident she felt in writing and expressing herself through her column. She explained that she did not know how to handle the power she was given. She explained the mistakes she knew she had made and how she assumed there were other mistakes she did not yet know of. She explained that she knew the Queen was looking for her identity and that Penelope did not want anyone who worked with her to be hurt. She explained that she was sorry she had alienated the Crown but that she hoped the Queen would accept her sincerest apologies. She explained that she would be willing to cooperate with the Queen in the future, as long as the Queen would promise no harm would come to the Bridgertons or anyone involved in the publication of her column. She explained long enough that she felt like she might have been babbling.

Eventually, the Queen held up her hand and said, "Enough. Why should I trust you? How should I know that you truly believe you answer to me?"

Penelope hated what she was about to do, but she couldn't think of another option. "I have some information that might be interesting to you, Your Majesty. And you will trust that it is as true as my loyalty to you because it is damaging to my own family. If it were to be made public, it would be scandalous indeed."

"Now we have reached something interesting. Do share."

"Lord Featherington claims to have valuable ruby mines in America. He has gifted many young ladies of the ton with necklaces purportedly made from rubies from his mines. He is also considering asking men of the ton to invest in the mines." This last part wasn't actually true, as far as Penelope was aware, but it was believable enough.

"Yes, and?"

"None of it is true, Your Majesty. The mines are worthless. There are no rubies. The necklaces he has gifted, and even sold, are nothing more than colored glass. Lord Featherington is penniless. He is hoping to swindle money from those who do not know better."

"This is valuable gossip, indeed, Mrs. Bridgerton."

"I hope that you will use it as you see fit and accept it as an offering of loyalty to you."

"What is it you are hoping for?"

"I would like to keep publishing, Your Majesty. You can decide if my identity remains secret or if you reveal it in triumph. I will cooperate with you about anything you wish for me to publish or refrain from publishing."

"And in return?"

"First and foremost, safety for any involved in publication and my family. But if your Majesty sees fit, I would ask that Lord Featherington be removed from his position."

"And be replaced by whom?"

"The eldest male child of either me or my sisters. That child would be the heir of the late Lord Featherington if he were still among the living. One of my sisters and I are both recently married, and the other will marry soon. Hopefully, it will not be long until one of us births a son."

Queen Charlotte looked thoughtful. "You offer an intriguing bargain, Lady Whistledown. I do like the idea of having your full cooperation." She paused and sipped her tea. "I shall need time to consider it. You may go."

Penelope rose and curtsied deeply before quitting the room as quickly as she could. All she could do now was hope she had done the right thing.

The day after her meeting with the Queen, Penelope awoke with a smile. She thought the meeting went about as well as she could have hoped. Now, she was nestled against Colin in their bed in their new home. There was no better way to wake up. She shifted a bit, and his arm tightened around her for a moment before relaxing again. She felt cherished. Thinking back on their wedding night, she found it endearing that he had been so nervous. Conversely, she had no idea where she had found the confidence she had shown that night. Perhaps seeing his uncertainty helped her to realize this was something unique for him, too. So many times in their relationship, she'd felt like the person who knew less, who had less experience, who hadn't lived it before. And while it was still true that she had less intimate experience than him, being in a situation where they were both a little unsure helped her confidence immensely.

Penelope rolled over so she was facing him, and Colin opened his eyes to look at her. He smiled and took a lock of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. She leaned into his touch. He hummed quietly and said, "I love you, Pen."

She kissed him softly and said, "I love you, too." They lay there for several minutes, looking at each other and enjoying being together. Eventually, Penelope whispered, "Will it always be like this?"

Colin chuckled. "Honestly? No. Once you give birth, we will not have many mornings like this."

"Hmm, that is true. I suppose we shall have to soak them up while we have them then."

A while later, Colin lay on his back catching his breath, and Penelope nestled into his side. She ran her fingers through the hair on his chest idly while she enjoyed his warmth. A thought occurred to her, and she immediately felt sheepish that she had forgotten this detail for several weeks. "Colin?" He turned his head toward her. "You mentioned that you wrote a book about your travels, but you never told me more about it."

Colin nodded. "I kept journals on my trip across the continent at the end of this season. I ended up turning them into a manuscript that was published."

"That sounds wonderful. I am sure it is remarkable."

Colin hummed. "It is lost now, I suppose. I will never take that trip, nor keep those journals. There is no way to recreate it."

"I am sorry to hear that. I would have loved to have read it."

"The other Penelope helped me edit it. Her assistance was invaluable."

Penelope smiled. "Not many men would let their wives help."

"I did not want to when she first suggested it, but that was before I knew quite how accomplished she was as a writer."

Laughing, Penelope said, "You came around, I see."

"Indeed. It was all because of her anyway that I even thought to publish them."

"What do you mean?"

Colin smiled. "One of the lessons, such as they were, took place at Bridgerton House. I thought I had assured that no one else would be around, but my mother, Eloise, and Francesca returned earlier than I had thought they would from the modiste. Wanting to avoid Eloise, Penelope hid in the study. She came upon my journal and started reading." Penelope gasped. Colin nodded and continued, "I was not pleased, but she was so encouraging about my writing and brought it up so many times that after our engagement, I started working on the manuscript."

"What did she read that so thoroughly convinced her of your writing prowess?"

Colin cleared his throat. "It was about an experience I had with some women in Paris."

Penelope giggled. "Well, now you must tell me."

"You are an unusual woman, Penelope Bridgerton."

Several days later, Penelope and Colin arrived at Bridgerton House for tea. Preparations were now well underway for Anthony and Kate's wedding. The upcoming nuptials hadn't seemed to improve Anthony's mood. Colin had been truthful with Daphne and Simon when he said that he wasn't worried about the wedding. Anthony would go through with it. Frankly, he would have gone through with his wedding to Edwina, so that was not Colin's concern. His concern was what Anthony would do afterward. Colin also wasn't thrilled that he was needed here at Bridgerton House when he could be home with Penelope. At least he could now have Penelope sit right next to him on a settee and hold her hand without anyone having anything to say.

Entering the drawing room, Colin saw that his mother and all his siblings except Daphne were there. Hyacinth sprang up, squealed, and threw her arms around Penelope. She all but shouted, "Sister!" Colin couldn't see the look on Penelope's face, but he saw the way she relax into Hyacinth's embrace.

Colin glanced at Eloise and saw that she looked uneasy. He had been pleased that she had ridden with Penelope to the church, but he was not sure they had reached a full reconciliation yet. His mother was smiling softly at her youngest daughter embracing their newest family member. Colin had missed some of this after his original marriage because of the tension between him and Penelope. There hadn't been a tender moment like this until weeks later. Seeing it now filled him with joy.

Anthony and Benedict were talking seriously on the other side of the room. Anthony interrupted their conversation long enough to glare in Colin's direction and then return his attention to Benedict. Colin worried that he'd damaged his relationship with Anthony through all of this, but he did not know what he could have done differently.

Kate walked into the drawing room. Since Colin was closest to the door, he greeted her first. Giving up all pretext of formality, he said, "Kate!" and hugged her. She stiffened in surprise for a moment and then returned his embrace with a laughing exclamation of "Colin!" Hyacinth and Penelope soon greeted Kate in much the same way. Colin looked up to find Anthony again glaring at him. Colin rolled his eyes, not caring if his brother noticed. When he glanced back at Penelope, he saw her speaking in a low voice to Kate, and then the two left the room together.

Penelope wasn't excited for this conversation with Kate. She didn't regret volunteering, since Daphne had seemed so dismayed. She didn't think there was a way to have this conversation without it being awkward, but she agreed with Daphne that it should be done. Kate followed Penelope as she led them into a small sitting room. She pondered if it was strange to Kate that she would soon be the lady of this house. Perhaps not, Penelope thought, since Kate had not grown up visiting and playing in these halls.

Penelope sat on a chair and gestured to one nearby for Kate to sit in. She sat and looked at Penelope expectantly. When she paused, Kate said, "What was it you wished to discuss with me?"

Penelope took a deep breath and said, "Daphne and I agreed that someone should speak to you before your wedding."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "The duchess? Well, then it must be serious indeed."

Shaking her head, Penelope said, "Not too serious, I hope. Has your mother, or anyone else I suppose, explained marital relations to you?" At Kate's uneasy look, Penelope hastened to add, "Daphne, my sister, and I were both told very little, and for two of us, that lack of knowledge had some negative implications for the early part of marriage."

Kate swallowed. "Where we lived in India, young ladies are not quite as sheltered as they are here. I believe I understand the basic idea, but I have no true knowledge of what it might be like."

Penelope nodded. "Am I correct to take that to mean you understand how a woman comes to be with child?"

"I assume it is similar to what happens with animals."

"Precisely. Please forgive my frankness, but from seeing animals, one might assume the process to be rather unpleasant. It should not be. It should be quite pleasant, but not all women have that experience." Kate paled, and Penelope shook her head. "I know things are, well, odd between you and Anthony, but he is not a bad man. I truly do not think you need to worry, but if you feel any discomfort, and you tell him, I am sure he will, uh, rectify the situation."

"I would not allow any man to hurt me, husband or not. But you are assuming Lord Bridgerton desires marital relations with me at all."

Penelope laughed but quickly contained herself at the remarkably dubious expression on Kate's face. "Since you know that I am Whistledown, I can tell you that I have spent much time observing those who are courting. I do not know everything that Anthony is thinking or feeling, but I am confident that he is interested in, shall we say, certain types of intimacy with you."

Kate shook her head. "He has been so resistant to marrying me that I have to wonder if I imagined something or thought particular moments to mean something that they did not."

"I do not think so. I am unsure what Anthony's hesitation is, but it is not lack of desire. I saw how he danced with you Kate. I saw you both in the library. That is not how a man shows disinterest."

Anthony watched Kate and Penelope leave and walked toward Colin purposefully. He sighed. Nothing with this version of Anthony was ever simple. As soon as he reached Colin, he asked, "What are they doing?"

Colin gestured into the hallway for a bit more privacy. Once Anthony had followed him out there, he said quietly, "I believe my wife and Kate are discussing marital relations."

"Has Penelope gone mad?"

Colin shrugged. "It was Daphne's idea."

Scoffing, Anthony asked, "And what was her reasoning?"

"She believes, as do I, that young ladies are not told enough about certain things prior to marriage."

"Well, we know Penelope was aware before she was wed."

Colin was more surprised than angry, but that did not mean he wasn't irritated. That was low, even for Anthony. "I would be very careful about how you discuss my wife if were you, Brother. In any event, Simon and I—"

"You all discussed this? When?"

"After my wedding."

"Did you not have better things to do that evening?"

"Hmm, indeed, I did, but we were worried that you would not be as patient, understanding, and gentle as one might hope."

Anthony blanched. "Do you think so little of me? Do you truly believe I would ever hurt Kate? Do you not understand that she is—" Anthony stopped speaking abruptly. Colin raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Anthony looked surprisingly vulnerable, but his voice was still low and harsh. "The problem, Brother, has never been that I am indifferent or unfeeling toward her. The problem is that I feel rather more than I would like."

Colin felt a shimmer of hope for his brother's marriage. "I find it encouraging that you will admit it. I suppose the question is whether or not you will confess it to her and allow the both of you to be happy." Anthony rolled his eyes. "I mean it, Brother. I can imagine a version of you who is completely besotted with your wife and has never been happier." Colin squeezed his brother's shoulder when he saw Kate and Penelope returning. Reaching for Penelope's hand, Colin led her back into the drawing room, leaving Kate and Anthony in the hallway.

Colin quietly asked Penelope, "How did it go?"

Penelope shrugged. "Alright. Though I do not think it was as necessary as we feared. Factually, at least." At Colin's questioning look, Penelope said, "She knew the basics, but she might have just needed to talk to someone."

Colin squeezed her hand. "I am glad you could be that for her."

Penelope woke up the day of Kate and Anthony's wedding feeling nauseous for the third day in a row. She barely made it to the chamber pot before emptying the meager contents of her stomach. She felt Colin behind her stroking her hair. She asked, "Can you get Rae, please?"

Colin made a noise of protest. "I can care for you, Pen. It does not bother me."

Penelope shook her head. "Please. I want to ask her something." Colin frowned but nodded.

When Rae entered, she immediately moved to start cleaning up. Penelope waved at her to stop. "Rae, do you think this is because I am with child?"

Rae nodded. "I would think so, ma'am. I have heard eating a little bit right when you wake up can help. I can make sure you have something readily to hand every morning."

"Thank you, Rae. I had been hoping to avoid pregnancy sickness. I know not all women are ill when they are with child."

Rae nodded. "It is different for each child. My mother was sick with my sister but not for my brother. Perhaps your next child will not plague you so."

Penelope chuckled. "I can hope, though that comforts me little now. You can get Mr. Bridgerton. I am sure he is already anxious."

When Colin came back in, Penelope said, "I wanted to ask her what she knew about women getting sick in the mornings when they are with child."

Colin nodded. "I had wondered." He paused, looking unsure, but then continued, "The other Penelope never vomited when she was with child. Never even felt truly nauseous, as far as I am aware. She just did not quite feel right." Penelope merely nodded, but she thought back to what Rae had said about it being different for each child. Penelope pondered what it could mean.

Colin told Penelope she could stay home from Anthony and Kate's wedding, but she insisted she felt fine once she had eaten. Colin was curious about the fact that this Penelope was feeling ill when the other Penelope had not. He assumed it was nothing to worry about, but it stuck with him as an odd inconsistency.

When they arrived at the church, they joined the rest of the Bridgerton family at the front. While everyone was still roaming around, Eloise came up to them. She asked to speak to Penelope, and the two of them walked away together.

While Colin was watching them with concern, Benedict joined him. Colin smiled and asked, "How are you, Brother?"

Benedict shrugged, clearly subdued. "I have been better."

Colin gave Benedict his full attention. "What troubles you?"

With a self-deprecating chuckle, "It turns out I am an imposter. Anthony bought my spot at the Art Academy."

"I do not doubt that Anthony did something stupid yet well-meaning, but I do doubt your characterization of yourself as an artist. You are talented, no matter what our brother might have done to make it seem otherwise."

Sighing, Benedict said, "I keep remembering the look on your wife's face that day I showed her my painting. I do not paint to get a reaction out of an audience, but if I were to dream of how I want someone to look when they view my art, Penelope fulfilled it. Art can inspire awe, and I know I did it at least once. Maybe that is enough."

Colin tilted his head to the side as he looked at his brother. "I think you can do it many more times than that."

"Perhaps, but today is not the day to focus on myself. Today, we get to worry about Anthony."

Colin snorted. "As I have said before, I am more worried for the marriage than the wedding. Anthony's sense of duty will see him through today."

"I suppose that is true."

Eloise and Penelope walked outside the church for a bit of privacy. Eloise started speaking without preamble. "I went to see Theo again."

Penelope huffed. "I have told you what I think of that."

Eloise cringed. "I know. You are correct. I am unlikely to visit again. But something he said made me think."

Penelope raised her eyebrows and asked, "Is this more about politics?"

"Not that," said Eloise, shaking her head. "He said people who worked for the Queen were paying the print shop a lot of attention and then seemed to stop." Penelope nodded, thinking that was good news but not sure how to respond. "I am saying this because when he first mentioned the Queen, my first thought was of you. I was afraid. I wanted to tell you and make sure you were alright."

"I am well, El. No harm has befallen me."

"That is not why I am telling you, either. I can see now that you are alright. Of course, use the information if it is helpful, but what I am trying to say is I thought of you, Pen. I was concerned. I do not want harm to come to you, even as Lady Whistledown." Reaching forward and grabbing Penelope's hand, Eloise said, "I do not want this to come between us. Colin was right when he spoke to me. Your friendship is too dear to me to lose."

Penelope's eyes teared up. "Your friendship is also dear to me. I do not ever wish for it to end."

"Never," said Eloise, as she linked their arms together and walked back into the church.

Colin was always emotional during weddings. He had nearly cried during Anthony's wedding to Edwina in his first experience of 1814, and that had been clearly doomed from the start. He had known it at the time, yet he had still been close to crying tears of joy. Perhaps he should be embarrassed by his penchant for tears in these situations, but he found he could not be. Love was something to be celebrated. Even if you had to look a little silly or behave in a way that was not how you were expected to behave. Sitting next to Penelope made it all the sweeter. He had attended Anthony's wedding to Kate once before. It was much smaller than this, and very shortly before Colin left to travel. Even though it was quite small, he had been surprised by Penelope's absence but hadn't thought much of it at the time. He learned later that Eloise would not have wanted to see Penelope, and Penelope would not have wanted to see him. But here he was beside Penelope at Kate and Anthony's wedding in a time that was so very different from the one before. He reached over to hold her hand, wanting the tangible reminder of her presence alongside him. He felt tears prick his eyes already, and the ceremony had yet to begin.

Colin was hopeful that Anthony would find happiness again. He was incredibly glad to be gaining Kate as a sister. He loved them, and he wanted them to find the love that they already had for the other. He wanted his stupidly besotted brother, who yelled ludicrous answers during charades but followed his wife around like a puppy, back. Colin wanted the brother who told him to go tell Penelope how he felt. And while the circumstances would always be different, he could not stop himself from hoping that version of Anthony was drawing near.

Anthony stood at the front of the room, looking exactly like one would expect the Viscount Bridgerton to look. Colin could tell from the way Anthony was holding his jaw that he was nervous. Colin found it endearing. He reflected as he waited for the ceremony to begin on a friend of his from Eton. This friend was a third son of a nobleman, but unlike Colin, came from a less prosperous family than the Bridgertons. Because of this, Colin's friend had needed a profession and chosen to enter the clergy. His friend was not particularly religious, but the position served its purpose and paid well enough. They had met up once after his friend's ordination, he had told Colin that he loved performing weddings. Not all weddings, he clarified, but the ones where the two people were truly in love. He said it was the time he was the most grateful to be clergy. Colin asked why, and he said that when everyone else stood and turned to face the bride, right in front of him was the best part of the whole thing: the look on the man's face when his bride entered the church. And so, when everyone stood and turned to watch Kate enter, Colin kept his gaze on Anthony. And there it was. His friend was correct. This was the best view. His brother, his stupid, surly, and arrogant brother, had a look of pure awe on his face, like he was beholding paradise itself. Finally, Colin felt a tear run down his cheek. Yes, he thought, Anthony's marriage would be just fine.

Following the wedding, a large gathering was held at Bridgerton House. Colin and Penelope had not been there long when Violet approached them. She embraced Penelope, and Colin was grateful to see Penelope receive maternal love. Looking between the two of them, Violet said, "I wanted to see how you two were doing. Is everything well?" They both nodded. It seemed like she was asking something in particular, but Colin had not figured out what it might be, and it did not seem like Penelope was any the wiser. "How are you feeling, Penelope?" Colin put together what his mother was asking about the same time as Penelope, judging by the look on her face.

Blushing, Penelope said, "I am well, Lady Bridgerton. Though I have been a bit nauseous these last few mornings." Colin appreciated watching his mother's face as she reacted to what Penelope had just implied. On one hand, his mother was clearly overjoyed that she might be having another grandchild soon. On the other hand, the timing of Penelope's sickness could only mean that said grandchild was conceived before their marriage. Watching his mother experience overwhelming joy tempered with exasperation at her children's inability to behave was enjoyable indeed.

Finally, Violet said, "It seems congratulations are in order, though we will keep it quiet for quite a bit longer, I hope." They nodded. Looking back toward Penelope, she said, "I do hope you do not feel too ill, dear. For some of my children I hardly felt anything at all, but for others, it was all I could do to keep food down, indelicate though it is to mention. Let us hope your discomfort is minor." Colin had not known that his mother had felt differently while she was expecting each child. He was young enough when they were born that he had not been paying much attention. He pondered what the difference in Penelope's illness in this time compared to the other could mean.

It was several days later when the Queen sent a carriage to bring Penelope to the palace. Again, it was made clear to Colin that his presence was not required. He protested, which Penelope thought was both sweet and a touch overbearing, but the Queen's servants were uninterested in his protests. Penelope went to the palace alone.

When Penelope was ushered into the same room where she had previously met with the Queen, she was startled to see not just the Queen but also Lady Danbury. Penelope curtsied as deeply as she could, but then remained silent. After a moment the Queen gestured to a chair, and said, "Sit." Penelope did so and accepted the tea she was offered. Now that this moment was here, she was terrified. She had felt confident she did the right thing, and she had kept her nerves in check when she came to speak to the Queen last time. She'd had a purpose, a plan, something to say, but now all she could do was wait until the Queen told her what she had decided. Penelope was not certain if Lady Danbury's presence boded well or ill. She was a friend of the Bridgertons and the Queen, but Penelope did not know her very well.

Finally, the Queen spoke. "There is no need to keep you in suspense. I shall accept your offer, Mrs. Bridgerton. I would like you to keep writing, under certain conditions. For now, I would like your identity to remain secret. I believe that allows you access to the best gossip." Penelope nodded. She thought the Queen was correct in that assessment. "You may write as you see fit, unless I think there is something specific I wish you to include or exclude. You will be in regular communication with me. To avoid drawing suspicion, Lady Danbury will appear to take an interest in you and develop a relationship with you. Perhaps because you are the newest Bridgerton, though she can explain it as she pleases. Through your friendship with her, you will receive occasional invitations to the palace. Everyone will assume it is my kindness to Lady Danbury extended to you as someone she has taken under her wing. No one will know we are discussing the latest gossip and how it should be disseminated."

Penelope thought that all sounded quite reasonable, and she thought she would even enjoy befriending Lady Danbury. Penelope said, "Thank you, Your Majesty."

"As for your request, I will grant it. Jack Featherington will be sent to the Americas with a small sum to begin a new life away from England. The next Lord Featherington shall be the son of you or your sisters. I am having this all communicated to him and the dowager Lady Featherington as we speak. I rather relish the idea of you three sisters competing to bear the heir. That sounds entertaining, indeed."

Penelope responded, "Thank you, Your Majesty. Your magnanimity is unsurpassed."

"You may go. Lady Danbury will escort you out."

When they exited the room and began to be escorted out, Penelope opened her mouth to speak, but Lady Danbury shook her head. It was only once they were alone in her personal carriage that Lady Danbury spoke. "You are a brave young woman, Mrs. Bridgerton. You played your Queen very well. You knew that access to you and your gossip gave you a lot of power."

Penelope answered, "I am not sure I knew so much as hoped. Thank you for agreeing to the Queen's plan."

Lady Danbury waved her hand as if pushing the thought away. "Nonsense. If I am meeting with you regularly, I will have access to fresher gossip than even the Queen. And besides, I have a feeling I will come to rather like you."

Penelope smiled. "I look forward to our time together, Lady Danbury. I believe I will come to rather like you as well." At that, Lady Danbury laughed, and Penelope felt the tension in her stomach unknot. She had done it. All would be well.

The next several months were filled with joy. One source of enjoyment was Prudence's wedding to Mr. Harry Dankworth. Penelope was unsure how the marriage had come to be in the version of history that Colin had known, but this time, it was simply arranged by Lady Featherington. It was clear throughout the courtship and betrothal that Mr. Dankworth truly cared for Prudence. It was also obvious that Prudence was less enamored. Penelope hoped her sister would come around to Mr. Dankworth, since he seemed like genuinely kind man. A bit odd perhaps, and certainly overly concerned with his appearance, but otherwise good. He quickly formed a friendship with Mr. Finch, and Penelope enjoyed watching the interplay between the two men.

The night before the wedding, Philippa and Penelope indeed did cast lots to see who would need to speak to Prudence about marital relations and the conception of children. Philippa lost. Penelope wasn't sad to miss having to talk to Prudence about something so awkward, especially when Prudence didn't listen to Penelope under the best of circumstances. When Philippa returned to Penelope, she reported that Prudence seemed to think it would be a chore to be endured. Both women shrugged at this idea, and Penelope hoped it would become something more for Prudence as time went on, but at least she understood the facts.

The wedding itself was simple and small, hosted at Featherington House. Since the Bridgertons were now family, several of them were in attendance, which added levity to the celebration. It was hard not to be joyous when Hyacinth was around. Lady Featherington and Prudence were stunned that the Duke and Duchess of Hastings accepted their invitation. For someone of that position in society to notice them was a boon they had not anticipated, despite Penelope's familial connection. Prudence thanked Penelope profusely for getting the duchess to attend. Penelope rolled her eyes that this was the one thing she had done that Prudence appreciated, but she accepted her thanks, nonetheless.

Within weeks of Prudence's wedding, it became clear that all three sisters were with child. Based on when Colin had talked to Albion, Penelope figured she was a bit further along than Philippa, but she wasn't concerned. She didn't know which of her sisters would bear the heir to the Featherington Estate, but she was truly ok with it being any of them. Her sisters were far from perfect. Prudence had always been meaner than necessary to Penelope, and Philippa had been willing to go along with her, but neither of them were bad people. All three of them had faced a lot these past few years. Whichever one of them became the heir's mother, the Featherington Estate would be in better hands than it had been with either Jack Featherington or, frankly, their father.

One day, not long after Prudence's wedding and the announcement that Penelope was with child, Edwina came to call on Penelope. She rose to greet Edwina when she entered, and the two women embraced. Edwina nearly squealed, "I have not seen you since you shared your happy news. I am happy for you and Mr. Bridgerton."

"Thank you, Edwina. We are quite pleased."

"In truth, I did not just come to congratulate you. I have news of my own."

"Lord Bushwick has asked for my hand."

Penelope smiled widely. "Was this a welcome proposal?"

"Most certainly. He has been courting me for the past several weeks, and I am quite taken with him. He is handsome and kind. He has even been to India!"

"Do you love him?"

Edwina blushed. "I do not think I am as certain as you and Mr. Bridgerton were."

Penelope interrupted to say, "That was unusual. I have loved Colin since I was a child. The only surprise was that he loved me."

Shaking her head, Edwina says, "Colin was very clearly smitten with you from the first time I met him. It is a wonder you did not marry earlier." Penelope grimaced but did not interrupt. "I believe it is rare to be as fully in love before marriage as you and Mr. Bridgerton were, but I am hopeful Lord Bushwick and I will come to love each other."

"Then I am happy for you." After a few moments of silence, Penelope continued, "I hear your sister is enjoying her honeymoon. They have been gone much longer than originally anticipated."

Laughing, Edwina says, "She is indeed. I know I was upset at the time, but I am truly glad she married Lord Bridgerton. It is clear they are as much in love as you and Mr. Bridgerton. I would never want to have interfered with Kate's happiness, and Lord Bridgerton would have never loved me as he loves Kate."

"I am glad to hear that they are doing so well, and that you harbor no ill will. I do feel guilty for the role I played in that. I never wanted to cause you pain."

"No," said Edwina, "do not feel guilty. It was for the best. If my courtship to Lord Bridgerton had continued longer, everything would have become quite messy indeed."

"That is kind of you to say."

In a whisper, Edwina asked, "Have you heard Kate's news?" When Penelope shook her head, Edwina continued, "It is not public yet, but she is also with child."

Penelope laughed. "Between me, both my sisters, your sister, and the Duchess of Hastings, there will be quite a few children born in the coming months."

Joining her in laughter, Edwina said, "Your family gatherings will be quite loud in the next few years."

Penelope's relationship with Lady Danbury developed naturally over the weeks and months. While their connection had been forged as part of the Queen's plan, even the Queen could not have predicted how well the two women would get on. Despite their difference in age and station, they both enjoyed gossip and had a biting sense of humor. They were both intelligent and shrewd. Lady Danbury had told Penelope that she saw some of herself in Penelope, and Penelope took that as the highest of compliments.

When they did have to go to the palace, Lady Danbury helped Penelope to exude confidence before the Queen. Penelope was careful to appear just the right level of compliant with the Queen, but she was also willing to stand up to her when necessary. The alliance would always be fraught, since the Queen held so much power, but it had also become one of mutual respect. Penelope was grateful for the relative safety that she now had as Lady Whistledown. Not having the threat of discovery by the Queen hanging over head was more of a relief than Penelope had anticipated.

As time progressed, Penelope continued to worry that Colin was still hoping that she would give birth to Elliot. He reassured her constantly that he would love any child of theirs. One morning as they lay in bed enjoying the chance to be together and apart from the world, Colin pulled Penelope into his side. It was a little more awkward with her abdomen getting larger, but Penelope loved nestling against him as much as she could. Stroking her arm, Colin mused, "I hope the baby is a girl."

Penelope looked up, surprised. "I assumed you were hoping for Elliot."

Colin winched. "I wish I could convince you that I will be alright if the baby is not him." At Penelope's dubious look, Colin sighed and said, "Of course, I want Elliot. I have wanted Elliot at every moment since I have last seen him. I miss him, and if I never see him again, I will miss him until the day I die. Loving him is a part of who I am in the same way I love you. If we are never reunited, I will always grieve. Always. But more than one emotion can exist simultaneously. With you, I feel joy and bliss. It does not negate the grief, but neither does the grief erase the joy. Both are true. The same is true of love. Loving this child—" he reached across to touch Penelope's stomach, "—does not lessen my love for Elliot. Excitement and hope coexist with everything else. So yes, I will be overjoyed if the child is Elliot, but I will also truly be overjoyed if the child is someone else."

Penelope looked up at him. "I am still worried you will be disappointed in me."

Colin huffed in irritation. "Other than the first day since I woke up back here, I have never seriously considered trying to perfectly recreate my old life. It is not the same. I do not expect you to do everything else exactly like the other Penelope. I do not expect our relationship to be exactly the same. I do not expect you to bear me the exact same child. You could never disappoint me. You love me. That is amazing enough. But you, Pen, are bringing my child into the world. I would be a fool to react to such a gift with anything other than profound gratitude."

"I do not deserve such praise. I am not doing anything."

"You are doing plenty. I remember the weeks you were struggling with pregnancy sickness. And I am afraid to remind you there is one rather difficult part to come."

Nodding, Penelope said, "That is true. I am not looking forward to it." Truthfully, she was dreading it. She knew men were not supposed to be in the room while a woman gave birth, but Penelope wished Colin could be with her. He brought her comfort like no one else could. She truly did not want her mother with her. Penelope's relationship had improved with her mother over the past several months, but she still was not close to her mother. Lady Bridgerton had offered, but Penelope was unsure if she wanted Colin's mother to see her quite as discomposed and exposed as she would be during the birth. With the birth rapidly approaching, she needed to decide soon.

The months following his wedding passed quickly for Colin. He communicated regularly with Mr. George Stephenson and was impressed by the advances he had made so quickly. The increased capacity of the mine carts, now that the locomotive was in service, made the mines much more productive. Other mine owners hoped to implement Mr. Stephenson's designs soon, and multiple locomotives were currently being produced. The income gained so far had been small compared to the investment, but Colin was confident he would make the investment back and much more as the months and years progressed. Building locomotives and tracks took time, but the impact on mining productivity was so impressive, that these mine trains would soon spread throughout England. Mr. Stephenson was also excited about some of his other projects, and Colin was happy to encourage him.

One problem that Colin should have foreseen, but had not, was Eloise. In 1815 when he had first married, Eloise went to Scotland soon after. Now, she was here, and her friendship with Penelope was strong. If Colin were completely honest, Eloise had matured through everything that had happened in his first experience of 1814 and 1815 in a way that she had not had to this time.

Eloise was at the house Colin shared with Penelope almost every day. He did not begrudge Penelope her friendship with Eloise, but it was exhausting having his sister around all the time. She continued to be uncomfortable when Colin was too familiar with Penelope, but Colin was resistant to refraining from touching, embracing, and chastely kissing his wife in his own drawing room just to increase his sister's comfort.

Unlike the version of Eloise who had returned from Scotland in 1816, this version of Eloise was also resistant to leaving when asked. It flabbergasted Colin. He did not understand why she would insist on staying when explicitly asked to leave. Penelope was becoming more assertive in enforcing when Eloise had to leave, but she also seemed a bit clingier to Eloise than the other Penelope had been. It seemed their relationship had changed more fundamentally in 1815 than Colin had realized.

Colin's other concern with Eloise was her increasing correspondence with Sir Phillip Crane. As before, Colin had also started corresponding with the man, and again felt like they had become friends. Colin was surprised by how often Sir Phillip mentioned Eloise in his letters. Colin was unsure what role to take here. He didn't know if he should be protective of Eloise and try to prevent an attachment from forming between her and a married man, or if trying to step in would just make it worse. Perhaps it truly was just a friendship. He supposed only time would tell.

Colin still occasionally dreamed of the other Penelope. Sometimes it was with the haze of memory, and others it was with the shimmer of fantasy. The latter type normally involved both versions of Penelope, and those dreams were some of his favorites. But rarely, typically when he least expected it, he dreamed of her vividly. Dreams where she seemed so real to him, he almost wondered if he could touch her, but she remained just out of reach. Dreams where he could hear her voice but not quite clearly enough to be certain what she was saying. He woke from those dreams both curious and unsettled. He wondered if the other Penelope existed in some other life. He wondered if she found herself with some other version of himself. He hoped she was alright. He still missed her, even though he was deeply in love with the Penelope to whom he was married. He did not know, since he had not experienced it, but he assumed it was similar to being a widower. Just because he had lost the other Penelope did not mean he had stopped loving her, and loving this Penelope had not erased the love he would always have for his original wife. He appreciated that this Penelope gave him the space to continue to grieve the life he had lost while also giving him so much joy in the life he had now.

The day Penelope went into labor, Colin was not sure if he had ever been more scared in his life. He knew that was a ridiculous thing to think, since he had been in this position before. He had done this with the other Penelope, and it had been fine, but Colin could not calm his racing heart once it became clear that Penelope was going to have the baby that day.

The person who Penelope chose to have with her for support was Daphne. When the other Penelope gave birth to Elliot, she'd had her mother with her, but that Penelope had been closer to her mother by then. Colin could not have thought of a better person than Daphne. She had given birth herself relatively recently and was expecting again. One of her other skills was the ability to remain calm and unflappable. Colin thought that would be a very useful skill, especially if, God forbid, something went wrong. When the other Penelope had given birth, she had screamed for Colin loudly enough toward the end that he had gone to her, despite the protestations of the doctor and Lady Featherington. He would do the same again, if needed, but he could only imagine that Daphne would argue for his presence there. He believed that Simon had been present when Augie was born, but Colin was not entirely sure.

As he waited, Colin sat on the settee outside their bedroom and tried to calm his nerves. He took deep breaths in and out and tried not to jump every time he heard Penelope make a noise. He hadn't been out there long when his mother came in. She sat next to him. "Daphne sent word. She thought you could use some company."

Colin smiled slightly. His sister knew him well. "I am glad you are here, Mother."

"It is natural to be frightened, dear, but I am sure all will be well." Colin just grasped his mother's hand but didn't answer. "You will be an excellent father."

Colin chuckled softly. "I am not scared for that part. In truth, I am quite excited. I can imagine nothing more rewarding."

His mother smiled softly. "Your children will be blessed to have such a loving father."

"They will also have the best of mothers."

"I am glad you realized you were in love with Penelope when you did. I had thought it would take at least another year."

His mother looked startled when Colin fully laughed. "I am sure no one was more surprised than Penelope." Colin paused and swallowed. "If something were to happen to her, I do not know what I would do."

"Do not worry yourself. She will be alright."

Colin shook his head. "You do not know that. I know you almost died birthing Hyacinth. Daphne and I tried to keep Eloise and Francesca calm, and Gregory was too young to know much other than that something was wrong, but we could hear you, and we could hear Anthony."

"I am sorry you had to deal with that, especially so soon after losing your father."

Colin shook his head. "It was well in the end, but I cannot quite stop the fear."

Violet didn't say anything. She just held his hand. When Penelope screamed for Colin an hour later, his mother didn't dissuade him from going to her. She just released his hand and said, "Go."

Later, when the doctor handed his daughter to him, Colin was filled with a love and protectiveness so fierce that it took his breath away. He had thought it would not be possible for someone to be as beautiful as Penelope, but he knew Agatha would be. He knew that right now she looked very much like all newborns, but that did not matter. She was the most beautiful of newborns, and one day she would be the most beautiful of women alongside her mother and any sisters she may have. She was perfect, and he could not love her more.

Epilogue

Penelope gave birth to their second child on the day Colin remembered as Elliot's birthday. The whole time Penelope was in labor, Colin tried desperately not to be too hopeful. He loved his life as it was. He loved Agatha, he loved Penelope, and he loved the life he had made this time around. It was different than his original marriage. He was a different person. Penelope was different but also the same. She was his wife, and he would never not love her, no matter the version. The grief he still carried for Elliot and his original marriage was manageable. The pain, he did not think, would ever fully leave him, but he could breathe now. Penelope and Agatha made it possible to breathe.

When Colin first looked into the eyes of his newborn son, he knew. This was Elliot. Rationally, Colin knew he could not possibly know that. Many babies looked quite similar, especially as newborns. Memories were faulty things, and people were prone to seeing what they wanted to see. But Colin knew. In the same way he knew that there was no time and no reality in which he would not want Penelope to be his wife. He knew that this child was Elliot. His love and hope and prayers had somehow been enough. Fate had been enough. Elliot was always meant to be his son and even, Colin chuckled to himself as he thought of his nieces, the new Lord Featherington.

Colin sat next to the bed and held Elliot on his chest while the baby slept. Penelope was deeply asleep after laboring much of the day to bring Elliot into the world. Colin stroked her hair gently, profoundly grateful for this life and knowing he was the most fortunate of men. Tears of joy streamed down his face, and he stayed sitting there and holding Elliot until the sun began to rise. At dawn, Penelope awoke with a smile on her face.

Notes:

Thank you to all who have read this! I have had a blast writing it and imagining these characters. I have never written anything like this before, so it has certainly been a learning experience.

For everyone who has left a comment or given kudos, know that you have my gratitude. There are several of you who have commented on chapter after chapter as I wrote, and your support has truly meant the world to me.

A thank you for the people I've gotten to know on the "my honeybee come get this Polin" Discord server who have supported me throughout and listened to me talk through my ideas for weeks.

There is a companion fic which follows the Colin from 1814 who ended up in the post-season 3 world that the Colin we met here left behind. I hope you will check it out! It's entitled Falling Forward, and the link is here. It is now completed!

I'm also writing a sequel to both Here We Go Again and Falling Forward. It is entitled Falling Back, and the link is here.

Again, thank you all so much. I have loved every minute of this journey.