AN: Oh my goodness, it is so great to be back! I don't even have words to say how much I have missed my FFN friends in my extended absence. My life has changed drastically and just when I thought things were going to settle down they became even more crazy. I don't know how to properly express how grateful I am for the kind words and support I received, except to say again, that I am not done with this story and will not stop writing until it is finished. Please continue to let me know how I'm doing as I'm feeling especially rusty, which is awful at such a pivotal time in this story. Also, I did very little on the lines of editing as I was eager to post after such an extended time away. Hopefully you will all forgive me, and leave comments on what you think of this chapter!
Disclaimer: No rights to FMA.
Walking in the crisp cool morning, Edward, who was normally not an early riser without reason, had woken in an uncommon and utterly satisfied mood. In the span of his life, he had rarely experienced happiness of any kind, especially anything that could be labeled 'lasting'. Of course he had had brief moments of superficial joy or pride, generally involving Alphonse. Those feelings had always been swiftly followed by the ever present guilt towards the person dearest to him. Seemingly, this bittersweet taste had set the tone of his disposition; rather than letting anyone down or hurting them, it was better to keep them at an arm's length. The distancing approach had worked rather well until he met the absolute last person he had any right to become acquainted with, Winry Rockbell.
The blue sky eyes and sunny smiles permanently affixed to her face constantly filled his mind. Her tenacity and vivacious personality wore down his initial resistance to the negative connotations that tragically connected the mechanic and him. He couldn't even count the nights of restless thought that centered around the winsome blonde and the inappropriate and undeserving nature of his growing affection. Ed had done his best to warn her, even if in not so many words. He had made a valiant attempt at warding her away from him, as no good could come of their association. The last thing he wanted on top of the fault of the deaths of her parents, was to see the pain that would surely fill her lovely sapphire eyes upon finding out his role in their untimely demise. He had been surprised that she hadn't pegged their involvement immediately given her knowledge of their specific physical ailments. Though he had steered clear of the conversation entirely with her, Al had spoken of it with her, enough to realize that she hadn't been told much regarding the circumstances of the accident. Winry had never tried to ask him what had caused his loss of limbs, but he knew with a dreaded certainty that it would soon be discussed.
Ed was no fool, he knew from books and TV what came after intimacy; expected openness with your partner. These sources lead one to believe that everyone wants someone that they can bare their souls to and share the experiences that have made them who they are, and as much as he wished for that absolution, he knew it would come with a price. In the privacy of his mind, he allowed himself to believe that she already knew the worst and still wanted him despite all of his failings. Actually it wasn't accurate to say failings, because if his personality flaws were all of the problem, he was positive she could and would overlook them. In fact, given enough time she would probably smooth his rough edges. He was just at a loss on how to ever give her everything she deserved without being able to be honest with her about the part he played in most of her heartbreak. A vision of her slumping to the ground in emotional pain greater than even he had felt, even at the loss of his beloved mother, jolted his previously peaceful mind into abrupt awareness of the real possibility of that exact scenario.
In June of the year that changed his life, he had been sixteen going on seventeen, mouthy, attractive, and completely uncontrollable. As Edward Von Hohenheim, he had had nearly everything that a teenager could want. His brother Alphonse and him were the best of friends, he had freedom from parental restrictions, a superfluous allowance from said asshole parental figure, and a bright future doing what interested him most. Being looked at as a child prodigy, Ed was completing complex formulas and experiments, becoming widely known as the 'game changer' of his generation. He was obsessed with what made up the world and how it could be changed for the better. While most people his age were out partying on Friday and Saturday nights, he was at home in his basement attempting and succeeding at things college students based their theses on. Always being the type who was focused on completing the goal in front of him, the young chemist had appeared withdrawn.
This wasn't to say that he didn't have any friends. His younger brother, who was far more outgoing than him, was forever trying to get him involved in some school function or another. Al's warmth was actually the reason he had a girlfriend at the time, though she was constantly irritated about his lack of social compass. Amber was a brunette, but on the lighter side, with blue eyes. She tended to wear bright red lipstick and was constantly barefoot when outside of school. There was no doubt she was good looking, but she lacked a certain air of class that Winry carried herself with effortlessly. They had been seeing each other for around eight months when it happened.
Edward had known it was going to be a shit day to begin with when he noticed the sleek Mercedes parked outside their townhouse. Any day that his prick of a father showed himself was bound to end up with them fighting, and Alphonse attempting to cool his raging temper. There weren't many things that could get under his skin, but that man was one of them. Generally their arguments would start with the elder referring to him as 'little man', which always instantly sparked his irritation. No, actually that wasn't true. Their fights were brewing long before the man even opened his mouth. In his mind, every time he came back all he could picture was his sweet mother's face smiling despite the loneliness she felt at her husband never being home.
Ever since the brothers had been small, Von Hohenheim had spent his time working for the government on assignments that seemed to hold his attention more than his family who was forever waiting on him. Deep in the marrow of his bones, he knew that was why his mother had died, because honestly what woman her age just dies of natural causes? None. Tricia had done nothing besides love and pine for a man that did nothing besides neglect and under appreciate her. She had been an amazing mother to him and Al, teaching them life lessons early and the importance of family. For the longest time, they would bicker about silly things as siblings tend to, but after they came in to find their mother lifeless on the floor, they looked to one another for the support that they did not receive from their useless father. Yet again he had remained true to form with the news that his wife had passed away by leaving his two sons completely alone. He hadn't even bothered to attend her funeral or comfort them. Every time he even looked at the face in the mirror becoming more similar to that of the despised absentee, Ed grew more bitter. He would NOT become his father. For this reason, he had never grown facial hair, and refused to purchase the reading glasses he knew would make his life easier.
Recently the old man had been making more and more frequent appearances, that he could swear were just feeble attempts to look like he had actually been parenting them the last decade. That was exactly what led to his life, and worse, Alphonse's life being cast to the cruel fingers of fate. Von had asked the brothers over a forced family breakfast amidst awkwardly stilted conversation what the boys' plans were for the evening, and Al had mentioned that they were going to stay with Amber and her younger brother that night. Of course, their father had seemed overly interested in who and what Amber's connection was.
"You know, if you could manage to be around for longer than the ten minutes that you consider parenting, you would already know that Amber is the girl I've been seeing for eight months." Staring balefully at broad shouldered man, he waited for the response that was sure to come.
"Edward, you will not speak to me like that. You know that I have been busy providing for this family, that being said, as she is your girlfriend, I hardly think that it is prudent for you to sleep over at her house. Where will her parents be at?" Looking at him over the rim of his glasses, their golden gazes steadily locked.
"I really don't think you have the right to give a shit about what is 'prudent' or not for me to be doing, or even more comically, to ask me where her parents will be, when you are never around anyways!" Feeling his face flush in anger and his ears warm, he knew that he was seconds from exploding.
"ED!" Alphonse squeaked loudly in admonishment.
"YOU ARE A CHILD! You will stay home, and you will think about how your actions clearly exhibit that fact." His resonant voice boomed out the first sentence, before becoming irritatingly quiet the next.
"No, I won't! Old man, you lost the right to parent me years ago, so don't go acting like you are father of the year now!" Rising abruptly from the table, he went to the key rack and snatched his keys free furiously. "Come on Al, we are leaving!" His brother seemed to look between his father and him for a moment before standing. Walking from the room without waiting to make sure that Alphonse was coming, he thought he heard reassurances pass between the two about bringing him home once he had cooled off. Cooled off his ass! Von was the one who had behaved ridiculously! How could he just pretend that he had every right in the world to discipline him? He had raised himself and Al just fine, learned the bus routes and managed their training schedules. He had packed their lunches and helped his brother in school, so he would be damned if this would fly now.
Heading for the street, Ed muttered under his breath until he reached his vehicle. Once he opened the door to his car, he sat down, put the key in the ignition, and started the engine. After a long moment, his brother finally got in the car wearing a look that showed just how disappointed he was. These situations were always strange with them, as there was a sort of role reversal that took place where he ended up being the younger and scolded brother, as opposed to the elder. Pulling away from the curb, he waited for the lecture to begin as he started driving with no real direction in mind.
"Now, I know it's a stretch to expect you to ever forgive him for all that you believe dad has done, but he is still our dad at the end of the day. What he is saying isn't unreasonable if you look at things from his point of view. We are two teenagers who are wanting to go stay with another teenage girl and her brother. You know her parents are never around, and while they don't care, dad does." All Ed could think while listening to him speak, was that he hated hearing 'dad' leave Al's mouth. Catching himself driving faster than necessary, he consciously made an effort to focus on the pressure he was exerting on the peddle. He knew when he was aggravated like this he needed to breathe in and out slowly, to calm himself, but it was so frustrating when he felt like even his brother wasn't on the same page as him.
"The problem isn't that, it's that he thinks he can just come back whenever he wants and act like he has any authority to tell me what to do." Heading towards downtown, he was just starting to reach the edge of the business district. Already the previously distant massive buildings were becoming larger as they approached. There was beginning to be more traffic, and as was typical, nearly everyone was disregarding the posted speed limit. Glancing to the left, he noticed people were scattered on the sidewalks in suits and slacks just making their way through the day.
"You know dad works for the government, he has no control over how long an assignment takes." He couldn't help but mock the statement in his head, the whole novelty of his father working for the government and doing important things had worn off around the time their mother had died.
"That is an excuse. If he wanted to be with us, he would make time. And if he couldn't do it for mom-..." At that moment he heard Alphonse suck in a sharp breath as he too caught something happening almost in slow motion. A little girl with shiny blonde ringlets and overalls, darted out in front of their car to chase a wayward golden retriever, and all Ed could do to possibly prevent turning those lovely curls red was swerve widely to the left into oncoming traffic.
AN: Thank you all again for sticking with me and taking the time to care about my personal life and wellness. Please let me know what you think of this and what is to come!