I do not own rights to Dragon Age, its lore or its characters. All belongs to BioWare. I am just a fan.
After our unexpected swim in the pond, Fenris and I spent a few hours running drills, sparing and talking. I told him about Anders and the Chantry. About everything that happened with Meredith and the Circle Mages and about the rebuilding efforts. We worked from wet clothes to dry. Once our exertions rewet our clothes, we decided it was time for lunch.
"Of course I can do that for you Mistress. It will take about 40 minutes if you would like to wash the pond smell from your hair." Cooke smiled when my jaw hit the floor. "Are you trying to tell me something?" I grinned at her.
"No ma'am I am used to your sweat smell. Its usually all over you when you request lunch. But the fish water smell is too much." She winked at me and pinched her nose. Fenris laughed quietly behind me. "So what you're really saying Cooke is that you really need a hug." I opened my arms wide and took a step forward. She shrieked an indignant "Don't you dare!" as she scooted as far from me as she could get. I took two steps just to tease her a bit more before I dropped my hands back to my sides.
"Ok I'm done teasing now Cookie. My mother taught me early not to piss off the person who feeds me." this earned a laugh from both Fenris and the older woman.
"Sounds like a smart woman. Now, off with the both of ya. I can't cook with ya staring at me. Go on." she waved us out of the room. I giggled the whole way out of the room. At the foot of the stairs I elbowed Fenris gently. "Thank you for this morning. I had a lot of fun."
"Even when I threw you in the pond?" he asked mischief in his eyes. "Don't make it a habit but yes, even then. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to take Cook's hint and shower. Are you joining me for lunch?"
The rest of the day went by smoothly. Fenris and I were starting to become comfortable in each other's presence. I was glad for this. It was nice knowing there was a whole person under his icy slave persona. I was having a hard time imagining him being indoctrinated to Denarius the more I got to know him.
With the evening I found myself sitting in a den just aft the dining room. I was curled up with Varric's first novel tucked away in a corner.
"Where in Thedas did you find a copy of The Dasher's Men?" Varric's bright cheery voice rung out startling me.
"Varric! Its good to see you." I grinned at him as he sat in the empty chair next to mine. "I found it here actually. The last time I went to the city. It's fascinating. If I didn't know any better, it reads like something you and Bartrand might have experienced."
He laughed at this. "You know the best stories are just twisted up truths. There is some stuff in there about Bartrand and me but not too much. I am glad you seem to like it. Its not one of my best sellers but its one of my favorites."
We settled into a familiar chit chat just catching up from the last few days. I thanked him for his beautiful gift and promised him once I started using it, I would let him know just how fine the materials were. Hughes offered his best work and Varric was a shrewd enough business man to make sure he received the quality he paid for.
"So you and Broody went swimming earlier." Varric said to me with a mischievous grin. I choked on surprise and couldn't get any coherent words out. He laughed, holding his belly with one hand and pointing at me with the other.
"You saw that?!" I squeaked. He nodded. "It was adorable." He reached over and poked the tip of my nose. "Of all the things I've ever been called I don't think I've heard that one since before the twins were born." I laughed.
"On a serious note Hawke. You two have gotten pretty close pretty fast…." he looked down at his hands.
"It's not like that, Varric. First, it's wildly inappropriate. He's technically an employee. I've already started putting aside wages for him. And second," my voice caught in my throat. My mind flashed to the terror of looking up at the Lust demon and the pain I felt while it used my body. Panic was starting to rise in my chest at the memory. I felt my hands grip my chairs arms; finger nails sunk into the fabric.
Years of dealing with these flash backs taught me to school my face into featurelessness. Anyone looking at me would think I was lost in thought as I struggled to push the panic down.
"Second what Hawke?" Varric pushed oblivious to my struggles. "I am too broken for anything like that Varric." My voice came out harsh and dry. I might have been able to keep my thoughts off my face but my voice was full of the tears I was trying to keep at bay. Concern washed over my dearest friends face when he heard the turmoil in my words.
"Hawke, you know you can talk to me; about anything." He reached over and took my hand. The touch gave me something to focus on as I looked at my hand in his. The compassion he was showing me was overwhelming.
"A girl's got to have some secrets, Varric." I replied clearing my throat in a vain attempt to clear the shakiness from my voice. I felt guilt too. I wanted to tell him. I just couldn't take the chance Varric would see me in a different light if he knew how I had been defiled.
"We are family Hawke. You don't need to tell me anything if you don't want to. Just know that I am here with you to shoulder some of the weight you've got piled on your shoulders. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Marian. I hope you know that." He gave my hand a squeeze before letting me go and standing.
FENRIS
I did not mean to eavesdrop but when I heard her tell the dwarf she was broken curiosity got the better of me. She considers herself broken? What does that mean?
I couldn't dwell on it too long someone was walking toward the door I was approaching. I quickened my pace to appear as if I had just arrived as the door swung open.
If my presence startled the dwarf he didn't show it. "Broody! We were just talking about you. I heard that you threw Hawke in the pond and she didn't try to drown you in it. Congratulations. She must like you."
"I've given her no reason not to." I retorted shaking my head. This brought a laugh from the dwarf. "Well I guess that's true."
He looked at me expectantly. "Cooke has sent me to collect you both for dinner." I spun on my heel and walked away.
"Come on Hawke. I heard Cooke made your favorite." I heard him tell her as I made my exit.
I shuffled after Varric. "How does Cookie know what my favorite meal is Varric? What are you up to?" I was equal parts excited and suspicious.
"Let's eat first then I'll tell you." Was all he would say. My nerves were shot. I hated it when I knew Varric was trying to gently break bad news to me. All I could do was wait. Varric never joked about my favorite meal. I could feel myself salivating at the thought of my favorite slow cooked cut of bronto. The lower breast area was so rich and flavorful when cooked right.
Whatever it could be couldn't be too terrible if Varric is using a little flair to break the news. Hopefully. I felt a nervous smile creep across my face. My anxiety made every step toward the dining area feel like I was walking in slow motion. Once I finally entered the room, I noticed Fenris took the chair next to the one I usually took and his presence was oddly comforting. I couldn't understand why the presence of someone I barley knew was comforting but now wasn't the time to think about it.
Varric took his place across from me. As soon as I was seated Cookie approached with a large covered dish that she sat in the middle of the three of us. It was the last dish added to the table. "Varric brought me a slab of bronto to cook for you girl. Didn't give any instructions on how you'd like it seasoned or anything else just slapped a slab of meat down and asked me to cook it for you. It's been so long since I've cooked a bronto's brisket.…." Her thought drifted off as she gave me a bright proud smile.
"Thank you, Cookie. It smells delicious." The smile I returned was genuine. "Everything you've ever made has been heavenly. I have no doubt this will be as well." She bowed her head low at my praise. "If there is nothing else my Lady. Gentlemen?" She gave us all an opportunity to ask before she excused herself.
Varric stood and came around snatching up serving utensils and began portioning out our three plates. "Ok Varric. Out with it. I'll not eat a bite until you explain yourself." I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him. I felt Fenris look over at me but without taking my eyes from my best friend I didn't know what he was thinking.
"Come on now Hawke. You know I have news." His shoulders slumped and his voice got quiet.
"Varric, you've avoided me all day to drag this out. Tell me now and we can discuss it as I am making myself feel better about it by enjoying this meal. I know you well enough that I know it's something I'm not going to like but it's not potentially detrimental. So you might as well tell me now so I can get angry or upset and then get over it."
Movement on the table in front of me brought my attention to Fenris' hand. He had reached out and tapped the table in front of me with two fingers. I looked at him. His head was bowed to his plate. I barley noticed his eyes look from me to the other side of him. I trained my gaze to look past him and noticed Dorian walking up toward the table from the opposite side of the room.
"Dorian! Feels like I haven't seen you in weeks. Have you eaten? We just started and can make another plate." I greeted the young man.
"I believe I will take you up on that. Is there wine on the table?" he sauntered over to the seat next to Varric. I shook my head but spoke up, "No but if you want, I can go get a bottle." As I stood to do just that as he clapped his hands together. "Excellent. Thank you."
I briskly walked out of the room. I stopped just far enough outside the doorway that I heard Dorian ask Varric, "So old chum, you break the bad news to her yet?"
I started to think that Denarius had seen through our ruse and called off the engagement. My mind began to race. Damn it all. Maybe I should just tell the Archon tough luck and kill the man in the dark of night. But, with Isabella gone that would make leaving Minrathous harder. If I do it like a sneak, he won't know it was me or why.
My entire journey to the wine cellar and back was a mess of thoughts. It made me angry. By the time I got back to the table, bottle in hand, I popped its cork and poured Dorian a glass before slamming the bottle on the table. Two of the men jumped. "Ok I understand that you are trying to make me feel better but don't you think its cruel that I am half worried out of my mind because I know something is wrong but I don't know what it is? Out with it already!" I rarely raised my voice but by the last sentence held every bit of anger and anxiety I was feeling.
Varric sighed loudly. "You're right but I don't really know how to put it."
Dorian rolled his eyes. "To put this as frankly as possible, Denarius has signed the first draft of the contract. He didn't even acknowledge the couple things Varric and I added to it for you. But," he paused dramatically and winked at me. He was enjoying teasing me. He took a long drink of his wine, staring at me the whole time. I felt like I was going to crack the neck of the bottle still in my hand trying to keep my cool.
"Go on." I demanded through gritted teeth. "He added a clause of his own. It changed the length of time he wants you at his manor. He wants three weeks to every one away and has added that if you have until tomorrow evening to respond and agree to start your first three weeks the following day or the contract would be void." All the breath I was holding whooshed out of me in surprise.
"I have tomorrow to decide if I want to go there for three weeks? Or all of this is for naught?" I finally let go of the wine bottle and sat back in my seat.
"That is correct." Dorian said "He wants you there early morning of the day after tomorrow or he will rescind the contract." The room was silent as I processed this. I let my brain spin and quietly ate my meal. Minutes passed in silence as we ate.
Varric was the first to speak. "Well Hawke, what are you thinking?" he wiped his lips on his cloth napkin and looked over at me. I felt the gazes of the other two men wash over me as well. Even though the food was delicious it sat in my belly like a rock.
"I am not thrilled that I get to just jump in feet first so soon but, I guess the sooner we really start the sooner we can go home. Go ahead and send word first thing in the morning I accept the terms. I will be there bright and early morning after next with bells on."
FENRIS
Hawke and I were washing dishes together again. She had been quiet since knowing how close she was to heading into Castellum Tenebris for her first extended stay.
"Are you sure you want to go back with me?" she asked me quietly.
"You cannot go into that place alone. He would eat you alive. You do not really understand his cruelty. Better to be with someone who knows the place and the people inside. Plus since I am his bride gift to you, he would consider it an insult if you didn't bring me along. I will serve you the way I served him while we are there. I swear it." I put as much conviction as I felt into my words hoping to ease some of her concerns.
"What, exactly does that entail?" she looked up into my face and my breath caught a moment at how deep blue her eyes were. They reminded me of sapphires, if sapphires glittered with an inner light.
"I will be your constant shadow." I began and she nodded.
"I figured as much." She said with a giggle and a light elbow pushed into my own.
"I will also serve and test all of the food placed in front of you. Denarius has made sure I have a tolerance to most poisons so I'm used to tasting for it. I will also be responsible for waking you, dressing you, getting your baths ready other domestic things like that. Anything you can think of I can do for you." I shrugged a shoulder.
"Under no circumstances will you be dressing or bathing me!" she squeaked in surprise. She had brought her soapy hands up to her mouth trying to cover her shock. It brought a chuckle from me.
"I won't do anything you're uncomfortable with." I tried to give her a reassuring smile unsure if I was successful and continued. "I will tell you now that I will more than likely be sharing your space with you. I will not be allowed my own room nor will I be housed with the other slaves, too far away to protect you if needed."
I felt a little guilty for the lie. I would not risk her safety by being so far away during the nights. I knew better than anyone just how much went on after dark.
After a few moments of silence the guilt weighed too heavy. As she handed me the last dish and began cleaning up her side of the sink, I cleared my throat and spoke. "Actually that was untrue. Denarius would make me go to the slave quarter to protect your honor. He was very interested in your virginity. But it is my opinion that we would be safest together. Especially after dark."
She flung water off her hands and looked at me. "I see."
The guilt I felt weighed even more heavily in my chest when she didn't react. Her cheeks turned a bit pink when I mentioned her virginity and before I knew it, I was speaking again. "I'm sorry for the lie. I should not have done it."
"That's right you shouldn't have. I will forgive it this time since you were worried about our safety and not trying to do anything salacious. If you and I are to be friends, never lie to me." She gave me a stern stare. I nodded in response. "Good. You can expect the same from me." she quieted again waiting patiently for me to finish my side of the sink cleaning.
"Hey Fenris."
"Yes?"
"When you discretely got my attention to inform me that Dorian was approaching, is that something you did often for Denarius?" her question came out in a rush and when she was finished speaking, she chewed a bit on her lower lip.
"No not really. I would have been cuffed because I dared to interrupt him." I shrugged.
She rolled her eyes. "Maker I am going to have one hell of a time pretending that his arrogance does not bother me, aren't I?" she mumbled to herself with a sigh.
I chuckled. "Probably."
She looked over at me. "I like the idea of speaking to someone without using my voice. What do you think?"
The fact that she asked my opinion was such a small thing but it meant the world to me. The feeling it gave me was warm and comforting. "I think that is a good idea. There are certain areas of Castellum Tenebris I believe have secret listening spells cast. There is not much that happens within the walls that Denarius is unaware of."
Her eyes widened a bit in surprise. "I am glad for that information. I will ask Halward for an enchantment or two to take with me. Take the rest of the evening and think of some other types of things we can take with us that might help us out. You're the inside man after all." She gave me a tired smile and reached out to place a hand on my shoulder.
"I am truly thankful that you've agreed to help me with this. If you change your mind in the next 24 hours I will understand." She gave my shoulder a squeeze then turned and walked away.