"Wanna do it when we get back?" The way he asks this question is so casual that I almost miss it, but as soon as I catch on what he's inferring, my entire body bristles.
"HUH?!" I remember we're on a train and immediately cover my mouth. I dart my eyes across to Mafuyu who's doing his best to hold back a laugh. My cheeks heat up and I cover my face to hide my blush. Mafuyu reaches up to scratch the top of my head with his index finger and it's enough to get me out of my hiding place.
"I probably shouldn't have asked that on the train, should I?" he chuckles softly. "But,wouldyou like to?"
Would I like to have sex with my boyfriend? WOULD I?!
The thought alone is enough for my body to start shaking.
"...I mean, uh…sure, but…" I squeak out.
"What's up?"
"I…look, can we just wait until we get back to talk about this?"
Mafuyu smiles and nods gently before taking my hand and squeezing. The train trip carries on in relative silence, neither of us bothering to talk, but we hold onto each other tightly in nervous anticipation.
We get off at Mafuyu's stop and make the short walk to his apartment. Kedama is already waiting in the entrance to greet us and he hops up excitedly demanding pets from both of us. We take off our shoes and Mafuyu leads me to his bedroom. The king-single bed suddenly seems really tiny and we both stare at it in silence, before Mafuyu turns to me.
"Ritsuka?" He just called me by my first name. My heart skips a beat and suddenly I feel a tiny bit better about all this. At least it's enough to get my eyes off the bed and stop fantasising us in various positions doing various things-OH MY GOD!
"Yeah?" I answer.
"What's wrong?" He unwraps his scarf from around his neck then reaches over to do the same for me. I follow suit by taking off my coat and hanging it on the doorknob as he folds my scarf and places it next to his on his desk.
"I just…" Then my legs start to twitch. I can't tell if I'm excited or nervous. "I've…ahem, never done this before...with anyone."
"That's okay," Mafuyu says softly. He walks back over and pulls me into a hug which I'm really grateful for. "When I said 'do it', I wasn't really expecting us to go all the way, I just wanted to sound cool. I'm pretty nervous, myself." He chuckles at the admission and kisses me on the cheek. "We don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with."
"Well, in that case," I begin. "I don't think I'm ready to go all the way. Could we try…some other stuff?"
"Such as?"
"Could we, maybe, I dunno…" A thought pops into my head. I've spent enough time with myself to know how messy things can get, and it's still pretty cold inside the apartment...plus we're most likely gonna end up with our clothes off anyway and…right now I just wanna be close to him. So close. "Could we take a bath together?"
Mafuyu's eyes widen with excitement and he nods enthusiastically. "I'll draw one right now." Geez, he's eager! He opens his bedroom door and I follow him down the hall towards the bathroom. Kedama is hot on our heels and his paws go 'tap tap tap' on the hardwood floor. Mafuyu leans down to push the puppy into the hallway before closing the bathroom door. The Sato's bath is one of those automated ones where you just press one button and it fills it to the exact temperature and level you want, and he leans over the edge of the tub to get the water flowing.
"It'll be a little while before the bath is full," Mafuyu says. "Do you wanna…shower first?"
My face heats up and I let out a cough as I avert my gaze to the ground. "Uh yeah sure, I'll uh, you can go first so I'll-"
"I meantwithme, dummy," Mafuyu teases. I mentally facepalm myself as that should've registered a lot . Your. Shit. Together. Ritsuka!
"Yeah, sorry."
"Don't apologise," Mafuyu says as he nudges my bare foot with his. "Come on." He turns his back to me to unbutton his shirt which he slowly removes and puts in the laundry basket that's in the corner. I get a good look at his back and oh my god, the sight is almost enough to make me explode. Watching his shoulder muscles ripple and flex underneath his pale skin as he moves is so mesmerising. He turns to look at me and he chuckles again.
"What do you think?" His lithe torso is within my reach and it's taking everything to keep myself composed. No words are coming out of my mouth, so I just settle for a nod.
"Are you gonna take your shirt off as well?" he asks.
"Uh, yeah!" I squeak. I cough and shake my head in disbelief at how uncool I'm being right now and start unbuttoning my own shirt with very shaky hands. Eventually it comes off and I discard it on the floor before seeing Mafuyu stare at me with this intense look on his face. I suddenly feel self conscious and glance away but he steps towards me and takes both my hands in his.
"You're beautiful," he whispers. He leans forward and kisses me softly, which makes me melt and I lean into it, intertwining our fingers before he places my right hand over his heart, which is beating really fast. No one's ever called me beautiful before. It's almost enough to make me start crying, but now is not the time for tears, even if they would be happy tears. My arm shakes as I feel his smooth chest, and I pull his free hand up to rest over my heart. We're in sync. We keep kissing as we feel each other's heartbeat for a moment before we both let go and gradually let our hands roam all over each other. I travel down to his hips and slowly caress as he maps my shoulders, and we eventually envelope each other in a tight embrace. The shaking won't stop. I take a deep breath and inhale Mafuyu's scent as I bury my face in the crook of his neck. This feels right, I think, as my body tremors gradually come to stop. This feels like home. He's my home. I feel his head tilt and he starts kissing my neck and–oh…oh…My brain feels like it's short circuiting because I can't string a damn sentence together. I let out a groan I've never heard myself make before and he immediately stops and holds my face carefully.
"Is that okay?" Mafuyu asks.
"Keep going, please," I moan. I angle my head even further to offer him better access. It's a little bit tickly but God, does it feel good. I decide to try it out for myself so I tilt down to start kissing Mafuyu's neck and I can feel his entire body shudder as I start sucking on his jugular. I let up for a second and run the tip of my tongue along his neck up to his earlobe which I gently nip with my teeth. Mafuyu lets out a sharp exhale and I immediately stop to look at him with what must be the most horrified look on my face because I'm worried I've drawn blood.
"Did that hurt?" I ask.
"No, it tickles," he laughs. And I start laughing too. I am really overthinking this. Then we just go back to holding each other and peppering each other's shoulders with little kisses. Eventually, Mafuyu's fingers trail down my back and his fingers stop just above the hem of my pants.
"The bath is gonna be full soon. Should we take the rest of our clothes off?" I stop to regard him for a moment, and when I feel absolutely sure that I'm ready to keep going, I nod with a shy smile. I hook my thumbs into the waistband of my pants and it's only now that I notice how excited I am.
"Should we play janken to decide who goes first?" Mafuyu suggests.
"What are you, ten?" I laugh. "Lets just take them off." I lean down and in one swift motion, yank my pants off and step out of them. Mafuyu follows suit and we stand back up to take each other in properly. It feels like a bomb has gone off in my chest. He's naked. So very naked. And just as excited as I am. I always panicked at the thought of Mafuyu with no clothes on but now that I'm actually seeing it for myself in real life, I want him. I want him so badly. He's looking back at me and his eyes are full of lust. I expect him to throw himself at me but instead he turns on the faucet for the shower head which rains down a cold curtain of water between us. Goosebumps start to creep up my arms from anticipation and chill, but eventually the water starts to produce steam and we both step into the warm line of fire from the shower head. We start furiously making out like our lives depend on it. I've got my arms around his waist and I pull him closer to me, letting our parts touch and it feels way too good. Our tongues lash at each other as our hair gets soaked and falls in front of our eyes, and Mafuyu blindly grabs my butt and pins me against the wall, grinding himself into okay this is new and exciting and awesome and oh god…
"You can touch me if you want," Mafuyu says hoarsely. Say no more. I put a hand between us and reach down to grab him. He moans with delight as I start to move my hand and returns the favour by kissing my neck. "Can I touch you?" he asks.
"Please," I sigh. Now his hand is on me and this feels way better than anything I've done before. I shudder as his pace matches mine and we gradually get faster. Eventually, my knees start to buckle and I actually nearly drop to the floor but Mafuyu is there to catch me.
"You okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, I'm just struggling to stay upright," I chuckle. He returns a laugh.
"Wait, lie down for me?" He reaches up to angle the shower head away from us and guides me to the bathroom floor. I lie on my back, wondering what's about to happen and then Mafuyu straddles my hips which nearly sends me over the edge. He is so fucking beautiful. I cup his face with my hands and pull him back down for a kiss. My hands linger in his wet hair and he braces himself by putting his hands on my chest while grinding into me again. The familiar tension below my navel is starting to build and I can't hold out any longer. I bring one hand back down and start stroking us simultaneously which is leaving Mafuyu very short of breath.
"Ritsuka…I'm so close…" he whispers.
"Me too…me too…!" My stroking and his grinding gets faster and faster as our noises become louder than we'd care to admit. And then ithits. The adrenaline and ecstasy slam into us and the aftermath of our lovemaking ends up on my chest. He's left his mark on me. I belong to him forever. And I wouldn't want it any other way. We pant heavily as Mafuyu just drops on top of me completely. My arms fall into place across his back and I peck his cheek.
"I wanna do that all the time, now," I admit. I laugh and Mafuyu joins in before kissing me.
"Me too," he says. "But, we should probably get cleaned up first." He stands on wobbly knees and offers me a hand up before angling the shower towards us and reaching for the body wash. We take turns rubbing soap on each other and washing our hair in between frequent kisses and teases, and we rinse off all evidence that we just had sex for the first time. We hear the bath has stopped filling up and Mafuyu turns the shower off. I decide to step in first and position myself at one end before stretching my arms out to Mafuyu.
"Come here," I say. He smiles and steps into the tub before turning his back to me and sitting down. Mafuyu leans into me as I wrap my arms around him. He settles his head in the hollow of my collarbone and nuzzles me sweetly which sets my cheeks on fire.
"Ritsuka?"
"Mm?"
"Will you stay here tonight?"
"Yeah, of course."
"My mum should be back in an hour or so, wanna help me make dinner once we get out?"
"What are you thinking?"
"Mm...pasta?"
"Yeah, I'd be down for that."
"Cool."
I squeeze Mafuyu tighter and use my toes to rub his foot, which gets a giggle out of him and he starts doing the same back to me which makes me laugh too. Eventually we stop and just settle back into a comfortable silence. My heart is so full right now I feel like it's gonna burst. I put a finger under Mafuyu's chin and turn his face towards mine.
"Mafuyu?" I whisper.
"Mm?"
I kiss him for what feels like forever, and with my lips millimetres from his, I say...
"I love you. So much."